So I don’t know how to best describe the issue of how I’m feeling now but here goes. I’ve always primarily dated Asian men and have always seen myself marrying an Asian man. I am also Asian myself.

I’m sure there must be some sort of internal racism going on here. I have a first date with a white guy I met off a dating app and for some reason, im freaking out and I’m thinking of not going through with it. It’s not like I’m not attracted to him but I just don’t see the point of going out with him. I just haven’t had any luck lately with the Asian men I am interested in unfortunately.

I’ll probably get some backlash for this but I have judged couples on the street i see that it’s an Asian woman and a white man which I know is sad and horrible to do. And to be frank, I don’t like the idea of being one of those couples because I know I’d be silently judging myself and feeling embarrassed for being a stereotype. It’s just not something I’ve seen myself having for my future. I just never considered the possibility of dating a white guy because I always avoided them on dating apps and declined when they asked me out in person too.

Who knows if this guy is the one. And I know I should be openminded to dating and finding love regardless of race. So I’m kind of struggling right now with these feelings and I’m not sure if there are any other people who feel this way.

Welcome to our weekly r/AsianTwoX thread where we add more discussion regarding topics important to Asian women that might not be enough to spark a standalone thread.

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#Let's discuss!

Welcome to our weekly r/AsianTwoX thread where we add more discussion regarding topics important to Asian women that might not be enough to spark a standalone thread.

Feel free to talk about anything and everything! Make sure your posts are within the scope and rules of the sub.

As before, we also have our mod team available during this time to snuff out any disrespectful comments that may break our rules.
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Something tickles my ADHD brain with the way she does this. I've come across her stuff on TikTok and its wild how she's so good at impromptu comedy. I needed something to make me happy after my mom made me cry and I was just watching her podcast with Bobby Lee and was dying of laughter. What a pick me up.

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I have a fear my mom got me too dependent on her and I want to learn to be independent on my own. I’m tinkering with moving out of state. If you did this before how did it go and was it worth it?

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Yeah, title says it all. I’m an indian-american woman, and I was so appalled to see the recent Spanish influencer gang rape case where a travel/lifestyle/relationship influencer was gang raped, assaulted, and robbed by like 7 or 8 indian men — right in front of her partner — while on a trip to India.

I find it so absurd and ridiculous that RIGHT after this happened (i don’t even think it’s been a full week), south asian men are SPRINTING to say, “wah wah not AAAALLLL South Asian mennnn”. Zero fucking solidarity for south asian women. Zero fucking acknowledgement that India has a real rape culture problem. Zero fucking accountability for the way sexism is so baked into the culture and has influenced the diaspora as well. Nope, instead it’s deflection and immediate strategizing about how to mend their image so they can date white women.

I’m so fucking tired of the whining about not being good enough for white women, or dating, or whatever. I made the mistake of going to the r / South Asian Masculinity sub and got even more angry by what I saw. They just make it all about themselves. They don’t give a fuck about us. It’s like, even when the evidence is right in front of everyone, all they can muster up is, “well actually, India has a billion people so by sheer numbers it’s going to look like a lot”.

…Meanwhile that’s literally not how percentages and rates work, and the actual rate of rape in India is high as hell compared to many other countries. It’s just total bullshit. You say, “saying indian men perpetuate rape culture is racist stereotyping”, I raise, “why don’t you ask your own mothers and sisters what they think.”

I’m sick of the excuses. I’m sick of the entitlement they have to us. Honestly, I’m so over the culture. Everything is rising to a boiling point and this is basically the last straw. I fucking want out of this nasty culture.

Welcome to our weekly r/AsianTwoX thread where we add more discussion regarding topics important to Asian women that might not be enough to spark a standalone thread.

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Hello Everyone, I am Ekshita, a master’s student at Lund University, Sweden. I am currently writing my thesis on the Blame Your Mama trope in popular culture, specifically the movie Everything Everywhere All At Once (2022). I am looking to speak to mothers who have watched the film and would like to speak about their experiences of motherhood in the context of the film and popular culture in general as well. Your identities will be completely anonymous, and you will be provided with a proper briefing about me as a researcher and the study in general as well. The interviews will be on Zoom! If this sounds interesting to you or you would simply like to contribute to the understanding of mother blame, please reach out! The only criterion is that you are a mother who has watched the film Everything Everywhere All At Once. Hope to hear from you all! Cheers!

My therapist told me “you can’t get milk from a hardware store.” My mom is the ultimate hardware store.

My mom has many deep-seated, narcissistic traits that she never got treatment for, despite being a product of war and massacre trauma. She is also a sadist and continues to enjoy seeing her daughters in pain. She was my qualifier for being in ACA (Adult Children of Dysfunctional Families). As such, I’m supposed to reduce my exposure to her emotional abuse. I need to assume she will never change but it’s hard because I have a newborn and I do want him to know his grandmother, if only superficially.

I can’t heal my relationship to her if she’s incapable of seeing her part in our dysfunctional dynamic, so I don’t expect to get any emotionally healing/sense of belonging kind of “milk.” I can expect to get “hardware” though, and that means sharing family recipes, laughing at her stories when I’m in a resilient mood to call her and already feel surrounded and loved by my chosen family, receiving and sending her little thoughtful gifts, expecting she’ll cook my favorite foods when we go to visit her, believing that she is nightly praying for me and feeling grateful that I’m in her regular thoughts even if I’m not sure prayer works.

But to expect her to ever listen to me, or show any curiosity in who I am as a human being, in my passions or my pets, or to ever care about my spiritual or emotional well-being … this is the “milk” I must never try to get at her hardware store.

I know western forms of therapy say that when someone minimizes, dismisses your pain, criticizes who you are and everything you do, constantly interrupts you, diminishes your joy, that this is emotional abuse.

But what if this describes billions of mothers’ treatment of their daughters, because it’s almost culturally expected in an intensely patriarchal culture (mine was East Asian)?

What if mothers mistreated their daughters to “toughen them up” for being sent away to their husband’s homes where they knew they would be treated way worse?

And what if our mothers treat us like shit now, because that’s what was modeled for them?

Welcome to our weekly r/AsianTwoX thread where we add more discussion regarding topics important to Asian women that might not be enough to spark a standalone thread.

Feel free to talk about anything and everything! Make sure your posts are within the scope and rules of the sub.

As before, we also have our mod team available during this time to snuff out any disrespectful comments that may break our rules.
#Let's discuss!

Welcome to our weekly r/AsianTwoX thread where we add more discussion regarding topics important to Asian women that might not be enough to spark a standalone thread.

Feel free to talk about anything and everything! Make sure your posts are within the scope and rules of the sub.

As before, we also have our mod team available during this time to snuff out any disrespectful comments that may break our rules.
#Let's discuss!

View Poll

Welcome to our weekly r/AsianTwoX thread where we add more discussion regarding topics important to Asian women that might not be enough to spark a standalone thread.

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I’m not Asian but stumbled in this sub looking for help. My girlfriend is Vietnamese and yesterday she gave me a red envelope with money for lunar new year.

I want to return the gesture but I feel like giving her a red envelope would just seem like I’m regifting what she gave me, or would lessen her gift in a way.

Are there any other traditional gifts I can give her?

Anyone here watch Shortcomings that was recently released on Netflix?

https://youtu.be/tk39mOs833U?si=DPgTlC6Gce0f3H5L

It has a pretty unique portrayal of Asian American dating issues that haven't really been covered in movies yet. It uncovers a lot of conversations Asian Americans are having but you don't see in film, even Asian American ones.

It's directed by Randall Park, stars Justin Min, Ally Maki, Sherry Cola. Guest appearances by Ronnie Cheng, Stephanie Hsu, Randall Park.