Hi,

To keep it short and sweet, a black coworker of mine was treated pretty poorly at an event outside of work by our white peer. It took place at the white peers house during a card game. I just met these people so I’m not sure how close they were. But it seemed like the whole night my black peer was avoiding the group and even at work is usually pretty quiet.

I am a black male aswell, and I felt conflicted being invited into someone’s home and confused that my black peer wasn’t sticking up for herself all night. I feel like I should’ve said something in the moment but I didn’t want to overstep and allow my black peer to speak for themself.

Besides that, once the awkward silence happened from the yelling they both went to the bathroom and I waited to make sure she came out ok before I left.

THEN……. I ended up informing a manager and they let me know a couple days prior there was a messy situation at the white peers house. Allegedly a racially insensitive joke was made about me which made my melanated peer uncomfortable, causing tension in the group.

My black peer and I haven’t really talked much because she seems shy and I was wondering if I should reach out in person or our group chat to let her know I let my manager know about it? As a black male I feel like I could’ve done more but I would like a black womans opinion in case I’m overstepping. Thanks 🖤

hi guys, i’m getting my first sew in (with closure) in january! does anyone have any tips for maintenance/ where is a good place to buy bundles on a budget? thanks bbs

hi all! just as the title states - i never learned how to cornrow as a kid despite my mom insisting i learn because i thought that was boring and i wanted to draw Naruto art and play soccer 😭 now i'm 26 with a very, very thick head of natural 4B hair, and I have no idea how to do styles for when I wear wigs. I usually do a two-strand twist under my wig cap, but there's always that bump in the back since the style is in no way flat. i've heard that flat twists are good for that, but i'm not sure how to do that, and i haven't found a way of learning how to flat twist that's stuck with me yet.

i usually only wear wigs for cosplay and some j-fashion outfits, but I really want to give daily wigs a shot as i'm getting out of a depressive episode where i had to chop some inches from my hair due to damage from neglect, and i want to stop touching my hair for some time.

do you girls have any tips for learning how to flat twist, cornrow, or even just style super thick shoulder-length natural hair under wigs? thank you!! 💕

This is honestly a vent post. I took my license test just this morning and I failed…by 1🙃I’ve been reviewing for so long and I finally pull the trigger to take the test and I miss it BY ONE BRO😭😭😭and the worst part is I didn’t even get to part two of the exam. I’m beating myself up about it a lot but i’m just gonna go back review once again and pass the both exams on Wednesday🥲

Literally as the title says. I am a black girl in her mid twenties and I am like obsessed with bwc. I literally crave being fucked, degraded, humiliated by multiple white men. Like the idea of it makes me so wet. The contrast is hot. Like I’m not into race play at all it’s disrespectful. Before you say it is because of who I date I’ve been like this before I got with my first white bf I am with now. Are any other black girls in this group like this ?

hey y’all.

your girl is now sexually active again after several years LMAO and whilst I have maintained grooming with waxing and depilatory creams, I do not love the hyperpigmentation down below - inner thighs mainly - and all the ingrown scars etc. in the pubic area.

any advice on improving this?? and any other general hygiene advice for our intimate parts? supplements etc?

So this is like an on and off topic of discussion in this thread, but this is my take. I live in ATL and as a dark skinned, curvier individual, based on my treatment of men in my area (black men) I thought I was literally hideous until I started broadening my horizons. I received compliments and praise from black women all the time on my appearance (of course), but most compliments from black men were limited to a yell out a car window, “damn that ass fat.” No, dating outside of your race is not an instant solution bc men are still men, but I had only been invited to in-home smoke sessions by most black men and the only one that did offer to take me on a real date tried to SA me when we returned to his car. I have also had bad experiences with white men. They can fetishize and harass just the same, but I also never really have to explain why I deserve to be taken on a date or bring just in case money bc they want to split the bill. Colorism is so normalized and prevalent in our community that a lot black men just inherently treat darker skinned women worse, even if they find them attractive. And for those that think I haven’t had the full range of experiences, I am 22, and have dated all the way up to 20 yrs my senior. It is the same. If u want specific examples, I will provide them. I got really tired of having my worth degraded and I decentered men as a whole, and while focusing on myself, I found my husband whom I never had to ask to take me out and was proud to introduce me to his family. Listen to each other, listen to yourselves, and date whoever treats you the best.

Hi guys, where does everyone find good quality wigs? I’ve checked out hair stylists on instagram and tiktok and either you have to bring your own wig or you have to purchase one from them that’s $600 AND pay for the install. I know the terms but then I just don’t know where to find them or even buy bundles if I wanted to make my own. It’s difficult since I also learned that wig influencers get sent better wigs and I unfortunately had that experience where I bought a wig from a sponsored hair influencer and the wig was so much thinner and did not have bleached knots or anything like advertised. I’d love some help thank you! I’m looking for lava girl pink hair, coraline blue, 613, and white. I can dye the color myself since that’s what I used to do for my natural hair but if anyone actually knows where to find good colored wigs I’d appreciate it!

hello,

I just want to know if there are any black youtubers any of you watch that you go to for makeup looks or just daily vlogs, self-improvement anything of that sort. I used to watch MissDarcie for MakeUp, but she barely makes vids anymore :(( and I occaisionally watch KennieJD since her content changed. So are there any that you guys watch and like that are kind of the grwm, vlogging, self-improvement type of youtubers.

Thanks!

this was my first attempt at making chimichuri steak and i thought it was pretty lol. my pregnancy cravings are funny if i see something on social media i want i immediately go to the store and buy the ingredients to make it even if ive never had it before 😂

I made a post a few days ago about a guy I went on a date with and kept messaging me even though I told him several times that I’m not interested. He kept trying to ask me out but doing the bare minimum. I listened to the advice given to block him. I blocked him and he called me from a fake number. I didn’t answer. Then he texted the below:

“Hey it’s [name] happy thanksgiving why u blocked me tho? I didn’t even do nothing hope everything is good between us”

I blocked that number. I’m feeling paranoid.

I asked this question in another post and some of the boys were saying I put myself in the friendzone with this guy I like.

I was texting this guy I know one time he told me I was pretty so I assumed he liked me. And then one day he texted me and said "we talk very little, but the relationship is strong". So I asked what he meant by relationship and he said "the best friend kind" and then he said "we have this agreement right?". So I said yes even though I like him because I figured I just got rejected anyway.

English is not his first language so am I just interpreting it wrong or does he mean he only want to be friends.

Guys I been dealing with this guy right, we meet beginning of the years and we end up sleeping together,but that I was on his ass asking for his status and everything and it turns out he was clean cause I tested myself afterwards and I was clean, anyway we both both went our separate way and we end up coming back together again, again before anything I’m always on his ass asking about his status, tell me why his telling me that I must have something that’s why I keep bringing up these topics I’d it wrong for me to always bring up these topics. Please tell me if I’m wrong

https://www.murisart.com/shop this painting and more available here

As it always goes, I grew up in a predominantly white area. Contrary to what people experience on here though, these were the best years of my life. I grew up happy and loved, I didn’t see colour, didn’t feel alienated and was just living life like anyone else. Teachers made me feel loved, I was even one of my teacher’s favourite students, got amazing grades, had lovely neighbours, lovely friends, life was great.

Moved countries. Suddenly race is a massive topic everywhere. I’m at the point where I don’t even relate to other black people because one reason being that I didn’t go through racist experiences. It’s hard to create friendships with black people because we have different views on life. I’m not going to support one artist over the other just because they’re black and i’m black when I like the songs of the other artist. I’m not going to defend someone in the wrong just because they’re black. I’m not going to talk shit about white people that haven’t done anything to me. I don’t have a problem with black men dating white women. I don’t get why this mindset isn’t normalised? As soon as you have a different opinion from other black women you’re labelled as a pick me, coon or whitewashed.

I just want to live my life enjoying doing what I like and dislike without it being tied to my race. No, I don’t have internalised self hate. I’ve never ever ever thought i’d rather have white skin than black, didn’t even know skin bleaching was a thing until recently, love love LOVE my natural hair and wish I could wear it out more. Just haven’t learned how to style it yet. I don’t look in the mirror and think i’m ugly, I think i’m beautiful but I also don’t think i’m the most beautiful person in the whole wide world. I’m aware that some people might think i’m an 8 and others a 2. Doesn’t really bother me.

I don’t feel superior to white people, nor do I have a mindset that they’re automatically racist because of what happened years ago unless I get an inkling they are. That doesn’t mean i’ll call them out unless it’s clear they’re being racist. I don’t feel superior to other black people, in fact i’d love to view the world how other black women view it just for a day but I don’t feel like my mindset is particularly wrong.

I’m only posting this as I’ve never actually met someone with the same views as me, I don’t understand why there aren’t more people with similar views because I don’t consider them to be well, wrong but there clearly must be if no one has the same views.

I was listening to this podcast and they were talking about celebrities who are only Balck people famous and I was shook when I realized they are actually right. They named Morris Chestnut, Nia Long, and Vivica A Fox. 😣🤯

Hey girls, I need some hair care recommendations. I moved abroad some years back and my hair has not been the same since. I think it’s the water and just different products. I started using Mielle and I’m losing hair faster than I can blink. I’m at a point where I want to do a press and trim and start using Cecred cause I’ve seen some good reviews, but I also want some alternative options so I’m not breaking the bank all the time.

I have 4c hair, fine strands and medium density.

I grew up in a home where my mother refused to let my father see her when her hair wasn’t done. On top of that I deal with hair issues such as dermatitis and alopecia that make my natural hair a bit patchy and very flakey. This all makes me feel very insecure with the state of my natural hair. My current bf really wants to see my afro and he gets a bit upset that he can’t see me on the weekends I get my hair done. On one hand I think that I’ve set a very reasonable boundary about a situation in which I feel vulnerable but on the other I feel like it’s really not that deep. Thoughts?

While out on a date with my ex bf trying to rekindle things. We were talking about everything under the sun, he then brought up black women and how they are promiscuous, not family orientated, hard to get along with and idiots for voting democratic. Also he said a majority are welfare dependents and cannot keep a man like other races of women. Before he could continue his rant I snapped and told him that he always brings up black women in a negative light and that he's obsessed with putting us down. I asked if he hates black women.

He got very upset and shut me down and proceeded to call me a gaslighter and said that I always said hateful things about him. How could he hate black women if he has black kids.

He said I was stupid to be offended because he was talking objectively and not at me. I think otherwise. It would be different if he had something positive to say but only about other races of women.

Im sorry but it KILLS me whenever i see blk ppl put white men on a pedestal as if they’re just some perfect human beings who can do no wrong. That last sentence was a little dramatic, i know, but its true. I feel as though some blk women out there aren’t aware that white men are on basically on the same level, if not more, of racism as blk men. But they’re usually taught to hide it better. Whenever they get together with their little groups or someone who looks like them, trust me the things they say and talk about black people are not NEARLY as bad as what any blk men has said and i stand on that🤷🏾‍♀️. The only reason i think of why some black women have overlooked this fact is bc (from what I’ve heard about other people’s experiences) most black men have bullied them or have been racist to them in the past (and honestly f*ck them for that bc wtf💀) and bc of that they seem to go to white men as if they’re are the better option. And pls don’t take this as me taking away from your past racial experiences with black men (wholeheartedly). But i feel like we as black women need to stop putting them on a pedestal and immediately go to them as the better option when they’re just as worse as black men.

Men especially. These comments are disappointing and as usual they say bw need to have self esteem and quit being victims. No other race of women go through this.This makes me hate men even more. I dont care if anyone says its just the internet i experience this sht too many times in real life. Not only is this humiliating but it's annoying as well. No one cares about our safety or mental health.

https://www.instagram.com/reel/DA5wKatRstL/?igsh=N3EzcjB0aG1uZXhr