Went out to eat today with my mom. We made a to go order and I went out of line after I received my receipt and sat at an empty table. Tell me why one of the workers who older than me and was heavy set ( nothing work with being heavyweight) and pants was sagging and you can see his fruit by the looms draws. Came up to me and say “Hey” twice not no excuse me or how you doing but was a “Hey!” Then had the members to ask for my age which I lied and said I was 14 ( I’m 23) which I could pass on as since I look younger than I am from what a lot of ppl have told me. He got upset and still as for my number for when I turn 18. I declined and told him “No I’m 14!” and walked outside the building into my moms car cuz she gave me the keys before hand. I told my mom what happens and she was upset but also laughing.

Hello everyone, my boyfriend and I have been together for 2 years, and my 3rd Christmas with his family is coming up. His mom's birthday is very close to Christmas, so I normally get her 2 gifts, and long story short, I need advice on what to get her.

In the past, I have gotten her makeup brushes, self-care packages, and a L'Occitane gift set. I try to get her things that I know she will enjoy, and since I know she likes makeup, I am leaning towards getting her a MAC lipstick and a Dior blush. But I'm not sure if that will be enough. My other dilemma is that I'm Filipino, and she has a deeper brown complexion (context: she's Nigerian), so I would love help on what shades and products would look best on her skin tone. Please feel free to drop other gift suggestions as well. Thanks so much!

I am mixed, filipino & kenyan. I have a sister who has “good hair”, she calls it. My sister’s hair type is a mix of 3A/B, & mine is a 4A/3C.

I always struggled with being expected to look a certain way for being mixed. My skin is dark, my hair is poofy, and I love every ounce of it. But i feel like I’m lying to myself when I say that because of how my mom makes me feel.

I’ve been struggling with mental issues that made me not do my hair for months. I ended up trimming it to my shoulders & finally gave it a nice wash & detangling after wearing wigs so much.

Yesterday, i went in the kitchen with my hair finally out. My mom asked, “are you going to comb your hair?”

I told her I detangled it, running my fingers through my hair to prove it. She then asked if I’m going to wash it or “put something in it” & i told her I already washed it. She did a fake shocked expression, as if she doesn’t understand my struggle with natural hair because she struggles with hers as well.

Sometimes I feel like my mother married my father just to expect her kids to look like every typical blasian you see on Tumblr or Pinterest. She shows all the love in the world to my sister, who is lighter than me and fits that “mixed” category.

But me? She asks if i was in the sun too long or if I’ll ever do my hair after i spent hours styling it. Shes always pressuring me to get my hair straightened, but my sister can rock her curls without a problem.

My black is beautiful. But why can’t she see that? I want to shave my hair off… I bought another wig to hide under.

I feel a disconnect from my ancestors beyond moving north from Mississippi and Alabama and it makes me sad. I haven't done any 23and me etc so beyond that and a few rumors I don't know specifically where I am from.

We are invited to a family friendly event, celebrating different cultures and are asked to bring a dish and dress in something representing traditional wear/food. I thought of getting Dashikis or wearing black/red/green and maybe a turban for my daughter and I but otherwise I don't know what's 'traditional' for an African American, and I don't want to dress like I'm working a field.

I feel almost like I would be cosplaying if I dressed representing a particular region of Africa since I don't know if that would be true to me or not.

This probably requires therapy but in the meantime, do you guys have any other ideas/suggestions?

Hey, I'm relatively new to Reddit and I thought this would be the place to ask. How does anyone deal with the loneliness that comes from being the only black girl in a predominantly white space. I'm an immigrant from Jamaica so I'm used to meeting new people, going out with friends, even being approached by guys. I've been here for two years and it's just difficult to meet new people, who aren't weird. It feels so lonely going day to day and having noone close to talk to. It hurts a bit because my life is finally getting better and I don't have any friends to share it with. Even with the black girls here they're not really friendly or they act very questionable around people of other races (this one girl was giving out n word passes and I was appalled). Idk any advice would be appreciated.

So I got my first ever closure sew-in ever 3 weeks ago and it has a huge bald spot now that started forming during the middle of this week randomly. The stylist I got it done by doesn't offer replacements and it was really expensive. Do you guys think I could just buy another 2x6, and just glue it down no sew? I'm really upset by the whole thing since most people are saying it should last two months and mine didn't even last one when I paid over $400 for it. As a teen girl I don't have the money to drop more on another hairstyle rn.

Do yall have any YouTubers to recommend that do makeup tutorials /I'm really in need of one,I was trying to do a lil bit of Halloween makeup for the first time ever and completely sucked at it/I've only ever worn lip gloss and I feel like it's time to learn(plus it's kind of embarrassing the other girls my age know how to wear it😣)

Looking for some book suggestions with black girls being loved on! I know y'all got some recommendations ❤️🩷 Thanks in advance!

I love the idea of being a mom but when I think about the fact that my children will deal with racism it makes me not want kids. I just don't want to put them through that treatment because living with it day in and day out is awful.

I had a friend who i knew in high school but we fell off. I rekindled the relationship cause we were cool back then. We got talking and the topic of our interests came up, i am an avid anime watcher and cartoon enjoyer so i asked her if she indulges in it. Her reply was “no i’m an adult, i dont watch that”…. We are no longer on speaking terms😭😭😭

Happy Halloween everyone sorry to bring up such a loaded topic (but I mean we're black women what isn't loaded for us) anyways. I just went thru the cycles of wondering why I keep attracting the same - emotionally unavailable and void - men. Dealing with Limerence instead of Love.

And it's def due to what I experienced in schools and social groups, and I realized that I've been going thru life basically with a chip on my shoulder bc I thought i had something to prove (like going for unattainable men) ((but I always got who I wanted so a win is a win lmaooo )) I always thought I was overlooked and that wasn't the case at all. But my feelings are still valid and I need to work true them.

While I'm still working thru these motions, I just think it may be important to begin to face your music before you make anyone begin to face theirs.

I just wanted to say to whoever needs to hear it

that you, black girl, are worthy of everything you desire.

You don't have anything to prove, that's their problem, not yours. Live your life like you already have everything you want, you're just feeling it in real time as you go through life.

You're beautiful!🩵🩵

70% of it is surprisingly by other black brothers and sisters around me I just thought about it today I get called it a lot. But idk if I am. Mainly I get called it due to these reasons

1. I'm too "peaceful"
2. I'm not Loud
3. I speak proper (one I hate the most and it isn't even true lol)
4. I'm into stuff most black 70% of it is surprisingly by other black brothers and sisters around me

I just thought about it today I get called it a lot. But idk if I am. Mainly I get called it due to these reasons

1. I'm too "peaceful"
2. I'm not Loud
3. I speak proper (one I hate the most and it isn't even true lol)
4. I'm into stuff most black individual peers around me are not into. Like Ultraman or Digimon.

Overall l've never seen myself as white washed and it's very odd to me l'm called it for such weird reasons. Has anyone else ever experienced this?

Tbh I just see it as me just being my own person and I'm very knowledgeable on where I came from and the culture that comes with it. I just find it weird that's all

Do these things make me white washed?Also due to the fact I’m into stuff peers around me are not into. Like Ultraman or Digimon or Godzilla. Not very popular where I’m from

Overall l've never seen myself as white washed and it's very odd to me l'm called it for such weird reasons. Has anyone else ever experienced this?

Tbh I just see it as me just being my own person and I'm very knowledgeable on where I came from and the culture that comes with it. I just find it weird that's all Do these things make me white washed?

Edit: by “a lot” I don’t mean a lot that was a bit of a hyperbole

It’s literally the most wonderful time of the year. Hope everything stays safe and has a spooky night! 💃🏾🍬🎃👻

I'm bisexual so it varies depending on who I pursue lol

Women: anti-feminist, pick me mentality, has children, into diet culture, actively judges/puts down other women, no concept of independence, tries pushing traditional gender roles on me because I'm more masc presenting.

Men: No job, lives at home with Mom, video game addict, has kids, harps on and on about "traditional values", watches and consumes harmful media on Youtube (anti-feminist, racist, and other derogatory ragebait content), flips out over late texts/expects instant responses, and emotionally unavailable.

I just started going back to church, and there’s this ginger-headed guy I’m totally crushing on! It’s not like full-on crush (yet!), but there’s just something about him. He’s so friendly and sweet with everyone, and watching him interact with people is honestly so attractive. I haven’t actually talked to him yet, but he seems like such a good guy. I’m trying to figure out what I could do to get him to notice me, though! I know if he does, he’d totally fall for me, but he’d probably think I’m way out of his league (which is crazy). Anyway, any advice

I JUST GET SO NERVOUS

throughout my life any guy friend I would have would turn out to like me , or just be overly flirty. I get so frustrated because my peers are like "why don't you want guys to be your friends", "your excluding men and you wonder why you don't have a bf" "you can't make friends with guys because you just look at them as relationships" it's not freaking true. I don't even talk to them... they come up to me and I'm like a new friend! A few days it's normal but then it gets flirty or it's the infamous "can I tell you something?" This is why I think I connect with girls so well , it's just a NORMAL friendship not looking for benefits.

Edit: needed to vent because I thought I'll actually make a guy friend but it turned flirty.

For some extra background my parents are Caribbeans, Bahamians specifically. I don't know if this is a cultural thing or what. I'm not sure how to explain it but that sharp intake of breath that happens when you cry like huffing, I was thinking about it my mom used to tell me to stop doing that after I got a whooping or was in trouble or something. I was thinking about it today and I just thought how insane was that? I literally couldn't control it. I remember it was very hard to stop.

Many things they have done in my childhood I hope to never do with my future children...

Like if I’m with some Yt folks and they on a boat and they jump off into the water my first instinct is “damn I really wanna do that but I don’t wanna deal with my hair afterwards.” Whereas they can just go wash it blow dry it it and that’s it.

You literally have to plan out when you can go to the gym due to your hairstyle. I do braid outs on my hair but I miss going to the gym some days bc I don’t wanna ruin the curls I spent hours on. You can’t even go to the gym consecutively unless you have braids. And even if you do have braids now you’re about to sweat out a hairstyle you had to sit 5+ hours in the chair for 😂😂😂

I’m off today and the fact that I know the majority of my off day is gonna be me washing my hair, detangling, styling, is insane. Then it has to air dry for today and tomorrow.

Can’t even go to bed without a bonnet bc you might as well say goodbye to whatever hairstyle you have in 💀

Spending hours on my hair just for humidity to humble me, taking away my curls and shrinking my hair.

Like I feel like the majority of a black womans life consists of making sure our hair is okay while other races do not have none of these struggles

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=Uvmxd1TV5Oc I've been seeing an uptick in stories about black women and women in general getting unalived by men when women reject them. I'm not trying to scare you but women please stay safe. This world is very dangerous and I want black women and girls to be safe