I am half hispanic and half black guy age 26 I have a look where i can go for either of my mix either pass as only black or pass as only hispanic or both. A lot of the times i can only befriend other hispanic men or sometimes light skin men. I tried a lot of times to make black male friends but often times they just don't want to be friends or act very aloof around me. I am also bisexual and a lot of black men are interested romantically in me on dating apps as well as other ethnicities of guys. The thing is I know i am going to befriend latino guys but I just don't know what I should say in terms of casual racism or some or how to respond to negative things being said about black people in my presence. I refuse to ignore it and look like a self hater also this is where low self esteem about your background come from or develops by accepting casual racism and racist comments from non black friends like its normal. I just want to know what to say if this situation happens? this has happened before with friends as well Often times I feel I have no place to belong.

Alright so, I’ve heard a lot of people saying that only darkskin black girls (and guys) can experience colorism. But growing up as a mixed girl (black and Cuban) I definitely had a shit ton of comments about me being light, from black girls and how I “think I’m all that”… I’ve also seen alot of darkskin girls comment on pics of lightskin/mixed girls and be like “she’s not even pretty she’s just light”….how is that not also considered colorism? It’s just as much an insult as something people say to darkskin girls. What do you all think? I also completely acknowledge that as a lightskin I definitely have privellage over darker black girls and fully black people in general, and I know that they get compared to lightskins a lot. I don’t understand why that being the case makes it okay for any of the rest of what I said above, to be said to/about lightskins. Why would you not spend that energy fighting against the system that created the imbalance anyway? Lightskins didn’t put themselves above darkskins, white people and you could also argue black men did. The amount of black men I’ve had tell me they only date mixed girls is insane.

I know that I’m mixed race but I’m pretty confused.

My mum is black, her mum is white from Scotland and her dad is from St Lucia. My mum is dark skinned toned.

My dad is white from Scotland and my mum is half black half white born and raised in Scotland. In the summer months I tan really well I’m bronze but in the winter I’m white as a whiteboard. I cannot handle spice whatsoever I’ve been told to revoke my black card. I’ve always said I’m half black half white as my mum is quite dark in skin colour as that’s what people saw me as they were shocked to find out my mum is also half white. What really am I tho? I have brown eyes brown curly ringlet hair. Tan very well in summer months but I’m whiter as anything in the winter months I’m also a carrier of sickle cell and so is my mother and now my daughter as I passed it onto her.

My daughter is completely white as her dad is white and she has a great tan. Her eyes are a mix of brown and blue she has beautiful eyes thank you for reading

As I’ve gotten older I’ve really grown attached to my indigenous roots and family and am proud to be indigenous but when I was a kid it was the opposite.

I went to private schools and I was the only “nonwhite” kid in my class, but I looked white. Most of these kids were upper middle class. But my native mom is dark skinned and has dark hair, but could pass for either native or white. I was not wealthy at all, I went to these schools cause my white dad was a teacher there so I went for free.

Every year my mom would tell my teacher that we were indigenous and to please be respectful of that in their teaching and every year the teacher felt the need to point it out in class whenever “Indians” were brought up and I got called everything from stupid random made up tribal names like “dancing eagle” to “Pocahontas”. When we did a unit in 4th grade on Native American history my mom set up a meeting with my teacher where she explained that we were native and demanded history be taught accurately and she decorated the classroom with real native regalia and beadwork and weaves and baskets and stuff. My mom sent me to school wearing native regalia that week and it was awful, I was bullied so badly. I force vomited at lunch so I could go home early. I never wore any native regalia again, not even jewellery. It traumatised me. And the only thing I remember from that unit in school was that we watched Pocahontas (which I wasn’t allowed to watch at home because it’s so inaccurate and racist). For years after that I wouldn’t touch any of my native clothing or jewellry. My mom eventually stopping buying it for me. I wouldn’t go to pow wows. I didn’t like going to the Rez, I didn’t talk about being native unless it was safe and within my family. By the time I was in college that had worn off and I began to own my native heritage a little bit more.

Now, in my 3rd decade of life I am so proud of my heritage. I regret not having the same pride when I was younger. I feel like I missed out on a lot. I apologised to my mom the other day for how much I didn’t value my heritage growing up, and she was fine, she understood.

Did anyone else that had the unfortunate option to do so hide their heritage and identity as a child because of racism and bullies?

I am almost exactly half white and the rest black, Asian and Latino. I've experienced every stereotype known to man, except very few realize that I'm part-black (about 18%: enough to count but not enough to claim to be black, I guess).

For over seven years, I have been working with two gig economy companies. With Company X, I have used the same customer-facing profile picture, for the entirety of my over seven years there.

Company X just denied my profile pic, which has put much of my income and all of my college tuition financing on hold, hopefully just temporarily. They claimed that I'd need to reupload a pic because my eyes were closed or I was wearing sunglasses.

My eyes were fully open, and I never wear glasses of any sort. I've dealt with this brand of racism since I was four-years-old, even from my white relatives.

I'm just a little bit E Asian (maybe 6.25%) and a little Latino/Central American (also an estimated 6.25%), to explain my eyes. My great-grandfather came from an E Asian country, ironically where Company X hires its call center wage slaves.

I tried to discuss this ridiculousness with their powerless call center employees, who are much more Asian than I am, but they could only repeat what the stupid app told me.

Eventually, one told me that a customer "may have complained". When isn't a Karen trying to ruin my day at my job?

My eyes are surprisingly very Asian-looking, but many refuse to accept that I'm part-Asian. I often get stupid questions like, "Why do you squint all day?" I wish that I could make that idiocy up.

I guess that people need Asians to be fully Asian, be short, petite and have thick accents. No, I don't squint my eyes and cosplay as an Asian. No, they can't open wider.

Also, if the gig work company were to refuse to accept my next picture upload, no Asian rights organizarion would assist me, as I'm barely Asian and I have no cultural ties to Asia. I feel naked with having dealt with some anti-Asian discrimination, my entire life, yet I would have no protections or help from often xenophobic Asian communities, in case of a work-related job discrimination issue.

This is just like when the idiot at my state driver's license counter laughed in my face and told me to lean back, so as to take my license's pic. Would that happen to a fully Chinese or Japanese person, for instance? Would the government drone laugh in their face and tell them to open their eyes?

No. People often feel safer to be prejudicial to mixed people.

A side issue is that many of us can thank our ancestors, grandparents and parents for wanting to pass so badly and be accepted that many of our cultures were erased from our families.

I'm filipino (80%) chinese (20%), but just ethnically ilocano (filipino), because chinese were acclimated to our culture in the philippines many centuries before the spanish colonization. We might have been called chinoys, not sure if the word is used much anymore.

This question isn't for me but saw some white guy telling a half black half white guy who called himself mixed race, that "mixed race" doesn't exist.

In my head I really tried to argue it but couldn't in the end, just realized the word "race" isn't really accurate.

I think blood is more accurate. Bicultural and ethnicity and sub ethnicities is more accurate as well, but then you have these different socially defined racial genetics. Maybe it could be subrace.

Anyone ever think about it?

Let me start off by saying I already had beautiful eyes in the first place. I just couldn't see it due to be so insecure and self loathing and battling low self esteem. I am mixed with Indigenous features but even if I wasn't I hate how society praises colored eyes which are very over rated! beautiful eyes can mean your eyes shine and are big or they are chinky or just the fullness of your eyes is beautiful maybe your eyelashes are long beautiful eyes doesn't always mean colored eyes. White Supremacy has done a lot of damage for centuries and it's still doing damage idk what could have happened to me if I didn't stop I could have went blind . Btw honey is harmless some people put it into their eyes for eye infections maybe one or twice but I was over doing it.

My family is culturally native, kind of. I was raised off the Rez, but around native family, my grandpa was Native and he spoke the language and taught me a lot. And my mom is a registered member of the tribe. I am not because I am below the required blood quantum to enroll. But I still feel indigenous and the tribe still accepts me as an enrolled descendent which means I still am enrolled and get the benefits and am recognised as a Native American I just can’t vote. I look white. I have been wanting to get more connected with my tribe lately and get more involved. But I feel like I missed out on a lot because I was raised Christian. My grandpa was also a pastor on the reservation. And he did a lot of good and helped a lot of people but I still think it’s weird that my family followed the colonisers religion. But because I was raised Christian my mom raised me afraid of a lot of tradition and kept us away from a lot of the dances and the drum circles and the ceremonies and even pow wows, she said something happened at a pow wow when she was a kid and it scared her and she never wanted to go back. So it’s frustrating because I feel like that makes me even less indigenous because I feel that disconnect with my people. When I am around indigenous people and they talk about the healing drums or anything ceremonial I don’t know what they’re talking about. I feel like it makes me even less credible when I try to explain to people that I really am indigenous even though I’m white passing. I don’t know if I need advice here or if I’m just venting. I feel out of place everywhere … im not religious, so I don’t feel comfortable with my religious family, and with natives I feel super white but with white people I feel super indigenous, and white people make the most ignorant comments sometimes… I feel like a fish out of water all the time.

From a South Asian family and there's a lot of racism/colourism within our community unfortunately. I was wondering if anyone here is mixed race as mentioned in the title, and is there anything you wish your parents had helped you with, things related to your identity you learned later in life, experiences that were positive or negative, etc that you feel go unnoticed, or just want to share?

I'm in a relationship with someone from the Caribbean of African descent and I wanted to have some insight on what my children may experience from both of our families.

I want to start off my saying I am 15 lol. I am 75% black and 25% native American (meskwaki). I've been raised more around native people, always danced in powwows (Jingle, and traditional), always went to feast, and always follow that tradions my koko (grandama) taught me. I moved to a new state where I am around more diverse people, mostly black and what I've came to notice is that when I try to make friends with them they say I am white-washed for the way I speak, and do things. But then for the Natives I am too dark for them. I've been denied my heritage because of my skin color. So I guess what my question is; Am I mixed or just black?

Idk my dad is Black but my mom is medium complexion with hazelish eyes. My Grandma from her side is half white and was very Light skinned. I myself am medium complexion and Light Brown eyes

So I’m white/hispanic and am from a small town in the Midwest, USA, where it’s 99.3% white people.

Let me tell ya, white children say some of the most racist shit imaginable.

I’m ambiguous-looking, and every day of my life as a child (and somewhat frequently in my adult years) I was asked: Are you Japanese? Are you Arab? Are you Hawaiian? Are you like a quarter black or something?

People always used adjectives on me like “exotic” or “foreign.”

And I got called plenty of slurs and had stereotypes attributed to me, even tho the person was assuming I was a race that I’m not. It’s really weird to have someone screaming “ch*nk” at you when you’re not even Asian.

I was asked if I was literally everything except what I am, German/Mexican. It’s usually white people who do this stuff, but all sorts of people (even complete strangers on the sidewalk) feel the need to either question me about my race/ethnicity or just tell me their guess.

Y’all been dealing with this, too?

My father is biracial (black and white) and my mother is fully black, so I’m majority black for the most part. But I feel as if I can’t really claim my white part as much because I look pretty monoracial. And then I wouldn’t want to offend any other mixed people who are visibly mixed by claiming my own. A few years ago I posted my ancestry results on TikTok (I know) and tons of people started attacking me saying that I was a self hater, that all black people have white dna and that my European dna all came from non consensual experiences, and I could never identify as mixed because I literally just looked black etc. which caused me to spiral because I didn’t exactly know how to identify myself back then. I also posted here a few times and got met with the same invalidating comments here and there, but people were mostly understanding and welcoming. This isn’t a “what do I identify as” post or anything because to the public eye and society I know I’ll be seen as black, but I’m just wondering if any other mixed people have these same sentiments.

We are heading into the weekend, what plans do you have?

This is for discussion on general topics and doesn't have to be related to mixed race ones.

Hi, r/mixedrace!

I am a Korean who is born and raised there (so racially 100% Asian) and then emigrated to the US. My husband is a White, green-eyed American. We live in Phoenix suburb where the vast majority of the residents are White, and plan to live here for the foreseeable future.

We are currently in the stage of trying to conceive, and I am not really sure how to approach the name situation. I do feel strongly about the child having a Korean name (either first or middle) they can identify with and use in Korea, if they choose to live there. I also have a Korean last name, and do not plan to take my husband's name. I would like to include my last name if possible, but that is not necessarily a must.

Some of the options that I have are:

• Option 1
  • First name: (Regular English name)
  • Middle name 1: (Korean name that exists in English, think Jane/재인, Hannah/해나, Shane/세인)
  • Middle name 2: (My last name)
  • Last name: (Husband's last name)
• Option 2
  • First name: (Regular English name)
  • Middle name: (Korean name that exists in English)
  • Last name: (Husband's last name)
• Option 3
  • First name: (Korean name that exists in English)
  • Middle name: (My last name)
  • Last name: (Husband's last name)
• Option 4
  • First name: (Regular English name)
  • Middle name 1: (Korean name that exists in English)
  • Last name: (My last name) and (Husband's last name) hyphenated

I wanted to ask your thoughts based on your lived experiences living as a mixed race person. How were you named, and how do you like it? If you had a choice, what would you have preferred?

I look pretty white, though I grew up with native culture and was always around other native peoples. I was taught much of my good medicines from an Elder, my grandmother (who was stolen from my great grandmother and adopted to a white family) taught me about my people and heritage, I grew up with these amazing things and for some reason I can’t stop hating myself for looking how I look.

I hate being seen as white, I hate people “correcting” me about what ethnicity I “actually am” when I discuss being native. I don’t know how to not let this bother me.

What can I do?

They couldn’t imagine anyone racist having a relationship with someone of a different race. I feel like it happens all that time and has happened thoughout history in very documented ways. I personally have had to deal with racism within my own family. I feel like I got downvoted because they just don’t like what I have to say, but don’t ask a question without expecting an honest response.

Something ticking you off? Want to get some frustrations off your chest? Post your rants here and go into the weekend feeling refreshed!

As always, please follow reddit rules and our own rules (https://www.reddit.com/r/mixedrace/wiki/rules).

Hi - I'm Chinese American and my husband is Indian American. We're trying for a baby this year and also looking to move. The problem is, we're trying to figure out if our mixed kids will be better off in a mixed neighbourhood (primarily white neighbourhood with some visible minorities), mainly Chinese or mainly Indian neighbourhood? I feel that both communities (Chinese and Indian) can have their moments of close-mindedness about mixed kids, so I want to protect my kids from discrimination as much as possible.

r/Mixedrace - what are your thoughts? If you could choose the ideal type of neighbourhood to grow up in, what would it look like and why?

My hairs naturally big loose curls but since my hair was cut a few years ago the curls went away and I now have straight hair. I’ve been told to just grow it out and I’ll do that later this summer but, I wanna know the length to get my curls back. (13 and a male)

I've seen this a lot in the art world, but there are other spaces like college dorms that are designated "black only".

I don't think these spaces amount to "segregation" or whatever because of the historical and political history that word implies. But being mixed race, I don’t how to engage with these spaces because if I enter them, I feel like a lot of people won't think I'm black enough and I'm intruding where I don't belong. And if I don't enter, I'm denying my blackness.

Also, I've heard people defend these spaces as wanting to create a comfortable environment around other people who understand your experience. But theoretically, a black-only space could include a creole-speaking Haitian immigrant and an African-American person. I'd venture to guess that a random American of any race who grew up in the same neighborhood as that black American would have more overlap in experience (language, culture, education, etc) than the person from Haiti. So at the end of the day, the creation of these spaces seems to hinge more on appearance than experience. So it seems like a strange way to draw a line between who can share in a space and who can’t.

Anyway, I'm not begging for inclusion for my light-skinned folks into these spaces. I'm just curious how others people perceive and engage with them.

I’m very glad to see that this sub exists! I’m mixed indigenous Mexican/white (around half European, mostly Iberian; the rest indigenous with a pinch of African). I’m white-passing most of the time but was only raised around Mexican-Texan culture by my brown family members, so I’ve had a complicated relationship with my race for a long time. My dad and his siblings are very much white passing (both parents are also mixed indigenous/european/african), but my mom is not and still regularly struggles with racism when visiting smaller cities/towns. It’s strange seeing and experiencing all different sides of how strangers perceive us, but I’m not ashamed of who I am, even if I have no cultural connection to my European side and don’t look much like my Mexican side.

To any of y’all who are in the same boat, hi! 👋🏼

Are you monoracial presenting and want to know if your experience and feelings are valid?

Do you want to know if you "count" as mixed?

Have you recently done a DNA test and want help processing your feelings?

Does your phenotype not match your cultural experience and you need advice?

​

This thread is for all kinds of identity questions, not just the examples above.

This thread serves as a place to collect many similar questions about identity that often are posted to the sub. Please post in this thread rather than starting your own.

If you were asked to post in this thread, please copy-paste your question here.

​

Your question might be similar to another person's question. If you are asking a question, take some time to read through the other questions and answers, too!

Filling out a form (US) and I am biracial. The only options are: Asian, black, white/Latino, Native American, and unknown. No option to select multiple and no “other” or “multiracial” option. I identify with both my races and I don’t know what to choose. What would you do? It feels wrong to choose one over the other :(

Growing up, I considered myself white. I believe that my features make me look more European, and both of my parents look the same. When I was 15, my mom told me she was part Chinese, and when I was 18 I took a 23 and me test to find out that I am just above 30% East Asian (though im not sure how accurate they are). I know getting technical with the percentages is weird, but I was honestly surprised by the results. Growing up, I was always the “white friend”, but now everyone is telling me im wasian. I don’t know how to feel, because If I say I’m white it feels wrong now, but if I say im wasian it feels like im lying or using it to my advantage to get diversity points (if that makes sense). I don’t want to be that person that switches which identity I am depending on the situation, but I honestly don’t know what to identify as. I don’t want to offend anyone or feel like I am saying I’m part East Asian just for the title.

Could you tell me what you look like? I want to see how others of the same race mixture look like, if you’re feeling brave, could you send me a photo of yourself (PLEASE NO NSFW) thanks!

I’m not trying to point fingers or anything or say that ‘this’ person is bad or whatnot, I just need to get this off my chest and BREATHE.

I’m the eldest mixed child in my family by about 10 years difference(I’m about to be 20 for reference). I have 3 mixed cousins and 2 mixed sisters. I’m basically the biracial ambassador of my family lol.

Being the first sucked major ass, the family we come from is ‘colorblind’ and/or avoids talking about race like the plague. So I had to figure out my own identity, what race/culture/ethnicity is, and how it relates to me. I had to figure out how to navigate the world as an ambiguous person on my own which was soooo confusing in our predominantly yt town in the Midwest.

Growing up mixed was honestly awful for me (I’ve come to love myself and my mixedness now), and I blame that mostly on not having anyone to discuss these topics with and generally being the only one like me.

The last think I want is for my mixed family members to experience the same thing, so I feel responsible to step up and advocate for them. I want to teach them how to take care of their hair and be a provider of good resources when needed. I don’t want them to grow up ignorant and confused and miserable like I did, I need to be a safe space for them to come to.

The only problem with that is my family won’t let me. I bring up problematic behavior/beliefs they exhibit, I get shut down, ignored and argued with. I bring up hair care to my aunts and uncles who are CLEARLY struggling and letting their poor kids walk around looking neglected, and they get offended by the very idea that I would bring up that their child’s hair has different needs than theirs. I bring up anything about my own experience growing up as a mixed kid and they play the victim.

It’s a mess, and I’m so sick of it. I honestly harbor some resentment towards a lot of my family for this reason, no matter how kindly I word it, or how important the topic, they genuinely don’t give a sh*t about how their intentional negligence to recognize race hurts their mixed kids.

I am 17, and mixed with Black, Portuguese and Puerto Rican but people just assume I'm Dominican, I've been threatened with a knife standing at a bus stop for being "dominican" and alot of people speak to me in Spanish first before English, I literally got robbed and the dudes were yelling at me in Spanish before switching to English when they realized I couldnt understand them, and the police detective who came to interview me spoke to me in Spanish and I had to tell him I only speak English, a guy spoke to me in Spanish once and when i told him I only spoke English he accused me of lying to get away with ignoring him. It's like every other day someone tries to speak to me in Spanish and I have to explain I only speak English. I just feel really weird because I grew up with black people and I only really identify with black culture but it feels weird when I call myself black because I think people think I'm lying, and when I'm hanging out with my mom or my sisters I get weird stares from people because people dont think we're related, and when I used to try to hang out with other black people they never treated me like I was one of them, and I always was left out and mistreated because I just didn't look the same as them and even now I feel weird calling myself black or participating in black culture because of that. I just want to fit in somewhere but I'm not enough of anything to hang out with one group of people.