I teach high school and it is that time of the year. We only have the month of May and 2 weeks in June. Kids are more apathetic than usual. Not turning things in, behavior is worse, but the work hasn’t slowed down. How are you guys taking care of yourself? I am personally trying to avoid taking home any work whatsoever. If it means that papers are graded a bit slower, than so be it.

Y’all, I’m only 20 right so I’m watching Martin for the first time and the court episode came up. That shit was HILARIOUS!!!! But at the end, what did he mean by “The day of the Geechie is over.” ? Was it a reference to a movie or something?

I'm asking this question because since 2020, I have seen so many topics about new rising stars and things like "it girl," that girl Heather on TikTok, and other social media platforms. I have seen girls like Olivia Rodrigo, Bella Porche, Addison Rae, Charli D'Amelio get super famous off TikTok, and actresses like Hoyeon Jung and Jenna Ortega get super famous, gaining millions of followers overnight. But no black girls, and I always wonder why. Even if there is a black girl that is a popular artist like SZA or an actress like halle bailey, they don't get nearly as famous as the girls on TikTok. Why is that?

I’m about to graduate with my Masters in Industrial/ Organizational Psychology in May, and the job market is very humbling 🥲. I have been applying to full time roles since August of 2023 and can barely get out of the interview stage.

I’m looking for roles within HR, Talent Acquisition, Learning and Development, etc. I have internship experience as a Talent Acquisiton Intern, a teacher aide, and in college departments as an office/student assistant.

I tailor my resume to the jobs I’m applying to, I even write cover letters to most of those jobs I applied to, but once again I barely make it to the interview process.

Any advice or any connections for anyone who works in HR? I’m trying to remain optimistic, but I’m getting a bit nervous about my life post graduation.

Warning: Tipsy brunch rant ahead…🥂

So there’s the saying of having to be “twice as good” to earn respect of nonblack people, (okay, white people) especially in workplaces. And to that I say, what do I look like exerting myself, denying myself of my humanity(flaws) and trying to battle against their subconscious AND conscious biases against me? Lol It doesn’t matter if I’m quiet or keep a smile on my face 24/7 or if I’m a little moody they’ll still see me as a walking stereotype/angry black woman if I show confidence/speak up for myself. So again…why on Earth would I overexert myself for a bunch of humans that are just like me? Last time I checked we were all created equally and formed in the womb the same way so why do I have to go out of my way for approval or to be seen in a better light when they already don’t accept me or have been taught how to view me?? One teeny tiny mistake can undo all of the faking I did to be accepted so why would I live as if I owe anyone anything?? Especially strangers??

I understand that if people have mouths to feed and a mortgage to pay they might have to fake it and I completely empathize, but my goodness I’m exhausted from their micro aggressions and lack of respect while I have to watch my mouth and actions.

Maybe I’m completely wrong and this type of thinking will get me nowhere in the workforce but I’m tired and no longer willing to play the game!!!

If you were to swap places with a white woman, how would you weild your privilege in a useful way? I'm deconstructing and wondered if anyone had some 1st point perspective to offer?

I will not respond with anything but questions of clarification and curiosity.

(Please remove if innappropriate)

Hey ladies. So i have a topic of discussion. I (34) am struggling with submitting completely to my man. I was a single mom for 10 years, did it all by myself. Jobs, household, kid, school everythiiiiing. Have always had to hold down & take care of me. Honestly, I’m tired of being so damn strong but now I’m struggling with submitting to my man. He (38 yt m) envisions his relationship like submissive type, he’s the man, he leads, sexually, as well etc etc. so my question is HOW lol how do i just let it all go? He loves my strong mind, my values, my communication, how i challenge him to grow and think differently… but at the end of the day he wants me to submit & relinquish allllllathat. So help ya girl out.

Edit: let me clarify a bit more. He does NOT want me to give up my career, my drive, my ethic. He wants me to still handle this part of my life. He wants me to ultimately trust that he’ll lead me correctly in any area. He simply wants to know i trust, respect him enough to allow for him to make those decision. I still have a say in just about everything that he takes into account. & we communicate through. But Relinquishing my idea of “i know best” or having to be in control all the time. He provides comfort, safety, trust and has my best interest in mind, at all times. When i say submit, i don’t mean I’m in the house being molly the fckin maid. But submit in a sense of his pleasure, his interest, etc.

Has anyone here seen this show? I’m on the third episode and I’m wondering if it gets better. Cause I’m not finding it all that funny lol. Also I don’t like the amount of diaspora wars. Do they have a lot of these conversations in the show?

—>Why do WW need to speak about their experiences in a place designed for WOC/Black women?

I have seen these things happen in numerous subreddit. For example, there was a thread about the fetishisation of East Asian women in porn and real life. These women began to deviate from the topic and began to talk about their experiences. Most of the comments I read where talking about how other races fetishise them(it’s true) and only few where talking about the topic of the thread.

Recently,I saw another thread discussing the racism and fetishisation of black women in porn and these WW instead of following up the discussion,began to talk about how they are sooo oppressed (😫) by everyone and it’s soo wrong.

Then another thread about South Asian women,aging and racism and this WW came and she doesn’t see herself as a WW(she’s from a Mediterranean country) and she sees herself as a POC. I am like 😐.

I am not trying to invalidate their situations but it feels like they are trying to talk over WOC and make it seem they are the most oppressed(😫). These women will come to WOC/ black/trans spacs and when topics like misogyny/racism/fetishisation comes, they’ll be like “what about me! I’m affected too!” as if you guys include WOC/trans at all.

—> Black Men!

Anytime,I see people on social media criticising a BW for simply existing, these BM will swoon and agree with them, they’ll say “ BW are ratchet/loud/hard to keep or prefer WW because BW are too manly”

Do these people not know that those guys they are trying to pander to will use a slur at them immediately they see them lacking?

Or are they trying desperately to be picked?

Sorry for the long vent,I wanted to get my mind calm because these things have been bothering me for the past few days.

Ciao :)

So many white men have thought that my wigs or hair pieces were my real hair. An old white man literally thought that my blonde synthetic ass wig from Amazon (with a screen door lace and concealer that didn't even match my skin tone)

How do you know when you are settling? Like, is there a difference between a “scarcity mindset” my interpretation is “decent relationships are far and few between let me stick with this person” and a mindset of “hm, there may be someone better than this person I’m with” sort of like the grass is greener.

Idk if that make sense. If not, you can just answer the main question at the top lol.

Thankss :)

Hey ladies,

I’m 27 years old and I’ve always been pretty insecure about my nose since I was 16 years old…I am very petite and have a small head, but my nose is fairly wide😩it just takes up a lot of face and I hate it! I’ve done so much to embrace it..self love affirmations, tried contouring and what not. I’m unhappy with.. But I realized it’s the size of my nostrils more than anything. It doesn’t make my face balanced..it worse when I smile..it just gets wider..

I recently discovered alar base reduction.. the recovery time is about one week..I didn’t plan on telling any friends or family members about getting it (just my mom) because people are so judgmental…If you know any one who has gotten or if you have gotten it before..any tips and how do you feel after the procedure??

How was your weekend? Have any plans for the week? See something on social media you just need to talk about? This chat is for anything and everything, so let loose.

Lurkers, come out and play!

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I don't know if anyone can relate to this but I go to a school that's highly estemeed for being progressive and inclusive of all races and stuff but I've slowly started to see through their BS. For some reason, everytime they promote Indigenous representation at my school, they always have a white person that claims that they're Indigenous but a lot of white people (especially in Canada and the U.S.) abuse that claims to receive benefits that they aren't entitled and I personally know one

Obviously, there are white people with partially Indigenous ancestry but there have been wayyyy too many false claims lately and the fact that they represent and try to speak on behalf of actual Indigenous students is so aggravating. There are actually Indigenous-presenting students at my school that understand their identity and can speak on their own behalf and I don't appreciate many students falsely claiming Indigenous ancestry while looking super white.

Take in mind that I've lived in a city where there is a significant Indigenous population. Idk my university just seems super fake with their equity and inclusion initiatives especially with the perfomative land acknowledgments while not doing much for the Indigenous community.

If you're on tik tok, you've probably seen the would you rather be in the woods with a man or bear question. Most women choose the bear. My first thought was a black man or a white man, cause my opinion is dependent upon race of the man. I've been told that thought is racist and anti-feminist. Am I really the only person who questioned race of the man?

I’m (F) so upset with myself. I installed a new style and tried feed in cornrows a couple weeks ago. I’ve never used hair extentions with cornrows before. I just took out the style and now I have patches of hair missing.

I can’t believe I did this, I know it’s entirely my fault since I didn’t maintain these well either. I skipped a few days of conditioning before bed. I never expected for this to be the result. After months of trying to regrow my hair from previous breakage, I was making progress but now the damage is worse than before. How can I save my hair? I just want to shave it all off.

Y’all, I’m in an interracial (Asian) relationship and I’m seriously dealing with some kind of PTSD. I grew up very poor. Like no furniture in the living room, dining table is that $10 fold up table from family dollar and you lucky if you had the chair to go with it. His family didn’t grow up rich but more well off than I did. The kids are extremely privileged and I get off put by all the complaints they make. For example, we got a $10k house rental on the beach for a week. 8 bedrooms, private beach, a kitchen the size of 2 master bedrooms. I’m thinking wow, I lived on the coast of Florida and never even stayed in a house within 20 minutes of the beach. The “interracial” part comes in because all the spouses are white and I feel like I can’t talk to the kids how I want as my true self, I say this because once I called one of the kids” dirty foot” as a nickname for the day because she was tracking mud all over the place and they said I was being aggressive. On the contrary in my family we call each other everything under the sun and we know it’s all love.

I’m here to ask y’all how I can grow up and stop taking all this personally for one. Second, am I wrong for not choosing to be around these people? My man agrees with how I feel but he is the type to block everything out and not care but I’m clearly not the same. Thanks in advance!

I’m 25 and most of my life I have been extremely skinny. Once I hit 24 and definitely now that I’m 25, I’ve gained so much weight and unlike before, it’s sticking sticking. I’ve also been stressed and in the midst of grief and food is truly my happy place. Any advice from other women on how to cope with the change in your body during this transition in your early twenties? Although the weights been hitting the right places, I don’t feel like myself and am really not liking how I look. I’m going to workout more and have recently started running but I’m really struggling with the new changes I see compared to the body I had for most of my life 😭

For context i am a 20 y/o. Enby. College has been very stressful for me And this plays into how im sure i have executive dysfunction or ADD aswell as Autism. Last year i seen the campus clinic and they referred me to another doctor that could help me with my issues i guess but i Don't have a method of transportation or money so i never went. I come from a family who thinks mental issues are " white people shit" and its annoying as fuck. Im not lazy I LITERALLY CANNOT DO MY WORK. I cannot focus, this shit is 10x harder for me than it needs to be and i don't know why anyone would joke or lie about shit like that. I am stressed and tired. My gpa dropped from 3.8 to a 1.5 within a semester. I hate academics and i didn't want to attend college in the first place because i was going to be a personal trainer and go down the certification route with NASM or ISSA ( and guess what i still have to finish my ISSA certification. I couldn't fucking do it with so many classes). I don't have time for my hobbies anymore or anything i really like to do because im so behind. Im not social in the SLIGHTEST so i don't have friends on campus and there is no " campus life" its just me staying in my dorm room doing work and if its not doing work im at the gym. Im so tired of this shit when does it end

Hello :)

I think I’ve really been struggling lately and I think it’s finally starting to get to me. I’m a grad student at a PWI. I’ve found it really challenging to build community with other black folks here, and maybe I just haven’t tried hard enough. I’m the “strong” friend in my immediate friend group and often the emotional support mule but never truly feel seen. Everyone has their person to do life with but I feel entirely alone. On top of that, lately I’ve really been struggling with the fact that I’m about to leave my twenties having never been in a relationship. I feel desired but not wanted. I don’t feel valued in a lot of my platonic relationships either. The town that I live in currently is so white. I feel like this place has taken so much out of me. This past weekend I invited a crush to come visit. We’re mutually attracted to each other but I didn’t wanna build anything up in my head. Despite this, I couldn’t help having this faint expectation that maybe this could be something. Anyway he hit me with the “not sure I’m ready for a relationship now, especially a long distance one.” Totally makes sense. On the flip side of that, I can’t help but wonder when my time will get here? I can’t help myself from internalizing that and questioning why I’m never worth the effort. Not just romantically but platonically as well. I’m actually so exhausted. I’m tired of being perceived as strong cause I’m really on the verge of tears every other week. I don’t know. I’m tired

(also posted in blackladiesdating - it would be great if that sub could be more active!)

Feeling guilty about dating out? Can anyone else relate?

Coming up on a year with my (Indian) bf and it’s really great. Never felt this way about any man I’ve dated.

But seeing just how many people in our community are (understandably) vehemently against interracial relationships has me feeling kind of guilty. Like maybe feeling like I’m doing something wrong or that I should be with a black man.

Like I see people saying that people only date IR because they hate their own race or because the two people are fetishizing each other. Or that black women should only be with black men, etc.

I didn’t choose my partner for his race. I chose him because he’s the most sweet and down to earth person I have ever met. We both requently make sure we are both educated on matters concerning racism, antiblackness, sexism, colorism, misogynioir, etc and the like.

Our connection is real and I love it. Is it wrong? Anyone else ever felt this way while dating out?

I’m not really active on Instagram. I’ll post a story here and there. But, I haven’t posted an actual photo in a year and usually I would get 450+ likes. None of them were high quality anyways. So I post a really good high quality picture of myself and I got 53 in 14 hours. I have over 1k followers and my account is private. So when I went to switch to a creator account to look at my post insights they didn’t show any engagement or boosts. I don’t think anyone saw my post either.