Someone here that don't go outside if is not drunk?, alchool make me social,I talk a lot at the bar,I wake up the next day embarrassed,I don't want to talk,someone try blue lotus for anxiety?

Basic question, I know. But I was just at a party and I was in the bathroom for like a third of it. Maybe half. I’m almost thirty for gods sake

To the people who suffer social anxiety and have kids, does your kid also suffer social anxiety? Is social anxiety can be passed down from one generation to the next? How can you avoid raising a kid with social anxiety? People who have social anxiety would not want their kids to also suffer the same.

Also to the people who currently don’t have any kids, are both or one of your parents have social anxiety? If so, do you think you have social anxiety disorder because of your parents? And does your siblings also have social anxiety?

Growing up do you think your parents or family have a huge impact on your social anxiety? Looking back in time, could you have done something to avoid having a social anxiety? Is social anxiety genetics?

I also have social anxiety, and I would NEVER want my kids in the future to also suffer the same. Going to school for me was HARD, and imagine thinking about your kid being alone in school would shatter my heart.

I feel like I have always been an anxious person in public, I dislike knowing people are judging me for what I’m doing. Shopping takes it to another level sometimes.

I already got my mom some stuff for Mother’s Day this week and my gf sprung it on my last minute that I should think of her mom and her sister as well in order to gain their favor (they don’t like me, it’s been 3 years, neither does she like her parents). I run some errands tonight to get flowers, chocolates, gift bags, and the works. I dislike that there are so many people on the aisles. They sometimes mention to me about being so last minute to Mother’s Day which validates my fear that they are mistakenly perceiving me. When I go to pay since I bought wine I usually go to the manned checkouts, the cashier mentioned Mother’s Day and her being aware of what I’m doing makes me irrationally feel fear. I go home with flowers and my own mother thinks they are for her so I have to awkwardly explain that they are not.

That is what made me write about this post but in addition to that I dislike it when running and people are running in the same trail as me because I feel like I can’t get away from them or that they are looking at me. I sometimes dislike doing cliche things in public with my girlfriend because people will look at us and make strange faces while my girlfriend really enjoys that kind of attention. I dislike going home because my parents or roommates will ask me what I was up to or what I have with me which makes me uncomfortable like they are looking for something I shouldn’t be doing.

I feel like that side of me is so misunderstood; people always tell me to just stop but I can’t stop panicing once I think that someone is judging me. If I’m panicing I’m usually quiet and therefore it’s taken lightly where’s when other people panic like when my gf had her car towed and I drove her to get it she was yelling at my intermittently about what I wasn’t doing when I was offering her reassuring words that it was gonna be ok and that I could pay it while she can get the money together. I wish that people offered me the same kind of reassurances that I could offer them rather than being upset that I’m not functioning the same.

I’m talking to sum ppl rn but I do very little in life rn and mostly zoning out so I don’t have alot to talk about which is making me embarrassed when texting with these ppl cuz then we have nothing to talk about

Like in online video games that require voicechat, my social anxiety is like 10x worse. It's like I cant rely on body language, face expressions, I cant see what you are like your age and stuff. I dont know who im talking to and my only cues are just tone of voice. It's so unpredictable, it's a lot easier to talk to people in real life rather than things like over the phone or online. My social anxiety and social awkwardness is so much worse while socializing online

I'm 19 and I feel like I missed my teenage years. I've been so lonely for 5 years.

I haven't had any friends since 8th grade. I'm scared that by now I've gotten so weird due to lack of practicing social skills that any interaction will just end in disaster. I feel like there's a giant wall between me and everyone else, even my family.

I can't look people in the eyes and I'm scared of going outside. I feel very lonely and really need friends. I feel like a giant loser for this.

How do I do it? I feel like I have nothing to say and am a terrible person, so it feels pointless.

People keep saying ,,Get a hobby" but how? What? It feels incredibly scary to do anything and just showing up for something doesn't guarantee you friends.

Any advice?

It's been challenging to fit in or get into the group here since we all live and work together. I been trying to be friendly and engaging but usually conversations don't last very long or grow into a friendship.

To be fair, it's only been a week and half. I just had past experiences people don't want to communicate with me due to me being different or may ask them to repeat. So I do have a little anxiety from those times.

How can I fix this problem?

I'm 28 years old, and tho I know I'm young I feel like there's no hope of having a happy future with family and friends. I have one friend rn which I'm incredibly grateful for but I know eventually he will have to move on in life and we wont talk as much as we do now. I always wanted a family until I turned 26 and realized that I dont have the fortitude to be a father. I also came to the realization I'm probably never going to meet a girl that's interested in me. Its been very hard this year because in 2023 I met a girl who I fell incredibly hard for while at work. We would talk alot, I felt over the moon but didn't have the courage to tell her how I felt. I was afraid because I had never been on a date before and had only ever asked one girl out. I eventually had to confess my feelings because they started tearing me apart. She didn't feel the same way. I felt so ashamed and worthless. I had never felt so drawn to someone before. I never had a girl be as kind to me as she was, and I just hoped that maybe this would be someone I could of had the family I always wanted with. I feel so lost and angry at myself. I keep thinking it I wasn't such a weirdo maybe it would of been different. The future seems so bleak. I go to therapy but I honestly don't feel like its helping. I dont know how to come to terms with the likelihood of never having someone to come home to.

Curious about others. My father likes to talk alot. He is actually really sociable but often jokes and talks so much it seems he doesn't listen and it feels alienating sometimes. In private he doesn't like talking about feelings and rages if confronted about anything. My mom is constantly negative about everything. Religion is big with her so any conversation ends up being why anyone is wrong, and they are wrong because they aren't religious enough. What about yours?

My step-sister stays here every summer and she noticed I hardly ever leave the house. I overheard her ask my brother "does she ever have friends over or go to friends house?" My brother said "no" then she said "you don't find that weird?"

What makes it worst is that shes into kpop, anime, and gaming. She isn't the 'norm' herself so I thought she wouldn't label me as weird. She is a very nice person, still has a lot of friends, goes places and has a boyfriend. She tries to be nice to me but I just can't connect with people.

Thing is she isnt even wrong. It is weird. And this is not a one-off situation. I have been called weird behind my back or to my face by other family members even roommates.

I hate being perceived. I hate being around people because it will be awkward when they inevitably pick up on how I dont have friends or a life. Social anxiety ruined my life.

A lot of post here are from young people with insecurities and this is exactly how I feel when I was growing up.

My life is really different, I came from a very sheltered and conservative culture. My parents are well off, I was definitely a little princess, I had nannies and drivers.
I remember my anxieties is always about school, and it's so severe, my driver drive me to school but I often had to tell him I don't feel well and would just like to go back home, so he'd drive me back to our other house, so I won't get scolded by my dad for skipping school. But it's so much better than my teacher scolding me that I missed school again and she will withdraw/fail me from her class for being late(I was only 11 years old).

Then being bullied for being different, I wished that I was allowed to choose my profession at young age, and that my parents just didn't forced me to go to school, that I was allowed to be homeschooled and then work on my art more. Because I really hate the social part of school, I am smart but as soon as I go to social settings I just feel so pressured, when someone one by one, would just finish their tests so quick. the thing is, I never studied and yet I passed all the tests and able to graduate, I have missed a lot of school because I hate them so much. Once I homeschooled, I learned so much and learned to read a book all by myself at the age of 15, and learned so much more than I ever did in my life!

But my parents wanted me to finally be out of my sheltered life and throw me into the pit to experience the reality of life, and everything changes when I am forced to live in America without all the comfort in my life back in my home country. Now the princess became the pauper.

Anyways, now that I'm an adult, and have felt successful to be able to go out there and able to live life fairly like every adult does, I have a job in a sector where I almost doesn't need to deal with customers.

But on the daily basis, I still have to have a meeting with my teams.
Now this is where it's starting to have that bad feelings again. These people would of course have the same ego, same culture, same mindset, I just thought, these people have got the same personalities the same age, and the same likes.
Well I'm brand new to the team, and as I'm trying to learn, these people would just start to mock and make fun of me, and then the best part is them being nice to my face just because they hated to be called "rude" and but I'm the one being called rude, when they're the one who have such rude statements, than trying to help the new team mate.
I am just over it, I'm almost too numb about all the names calling and bullying and harassing,

and I just came up with the best idea, that I have started a company, and would like to help the fellow kids out there who struggle like me just because they are outside of anyone's circle.
Why is it that when we go to work, we have to be part of this circle jerks of people?
I'm always going to be me, I never wanted to be like them, and the way I see them, they're young and they're not in school, they're there, going to be working the same job till the day they die, I have big dreams, but unfortunately for that, I need money to start a company, and so that's what I'm doing there, I'm working so I could have money to start my own business, I'm not there to be part of their circle jerks, I am not there to be friends with these kids who are just waste of my time.

I used to be in engineering degree but now changed my mind and leaving engineering because I thought if I'm just programming all day I just can be quiet and don't need to deal with people being jerks. But looks to me like I'm just running to the place the same people I'm running away from and even more worst!
Because more I went on those reddit sites, last being called out and bullied and these programmers calling me out that I need the soft skill to thrive to that place, so never mind. Screw that. I'm so glad I'm creating my own path in life, and soon will start my own business.

Anyways, that's all folks.

I just hope you who suffers from this, just don't give up and keep on dreaming and hoping because just because society put a label on you that you're not part of the society and not allowed to even get a crumb from that cake, you'd suffer from all of that. Life should be fair especially for Americans.
To those who badly needs a job, and too depressed not having a job, get a job at amazon, it's hard physical labor but at least you don't have to worry about customers.

I've been working on overcoming my social anxiety for about six years or so, and I keep getting mixed reactions on how I should be talking. My mom once told me that she liked it when I talked a lot as a kid and how it warmed her. Over time I've worked on talking a bit more, but for some reason, I got feedback from her yesterday that I talk too much and should talk less. She finds it that talking too much is a "turn off". How much talking is too much?

We often realize when it gets bad. Which is fine. But we should also celebrate the situations where we don't feel it as much.

For me, it's when someone else is vulnerable first. It gives me the confidence to say stuff too. I know it can't always happen, but it's nice when it does. What's yours?

Not because there is something wrong with me. I had a chance to talk to some people without anxiety being too triggered. I had fun even, but at the end of the day I thought. I never want to do this again. Maybe it's just the social anxiety incognito mode.

After isolating myself my whole childhood due to bullying and social anxiety, it's made me WAY too comfortable with being alone. It's worse now that I'm grown being aware that this is unhealthy, but I'm already so stunted in my social development.

I feel kind of "lazy" to meet people nowadays? Largely because in places like school you were forced to be with the same people, so minimal effort on my part.

But in the adult world you really do have to put yourself out there to make friends, and the thought of it scares me because I've never made the first move of friendship to anyone. It just feels so unfamiliar / unnatural to me and I physically feel so sick about it?

Perhaps I'm simply just not used to the actual process of creating and maintaining a friendship, but I just wish my mind didn't always feel so unmotivated and unbothered about trying to meet people because I feel so goddamn lonely 24/7. I'm too stuck in my comfort zone.

I would like to hear from you who reached an old age and had no progress and gave up fighting.

without ever having had a job, girlfriend, money, nothing... just existing in pain and loneliness.

I'm 30 and my life is an fucking tragedy.

What do you do to distract yourself??

How to have a good life in the midst of a total disaster?

How do you intend to spend your time until the end of your existence?

For me its when I think people are looking at me so im just looking at them back and forth not trying to make eye contact. Also not knowing when someone is trying to have a convo with me or not.

Hi everyone, this is my first post on this sub and I hope it's relevant to the topic. To give some context, I am 24 (M) with a relatively advanced physique. I have also been doing BJJ for 6 months now. I have dealt with social anxiety my whole life, primarily when it comes to dealing with other men. It especially escalates when I am in a fight-like situation. I am very insecure about my ability to stand up for myself therefore I always freeze whenever fight-like circumstances arise and lose all my confidence despite knowing that I could physically stand up for myself if need be. But because I get so scared I just can't do anything.

I have been to clubs few times but it was never an enjoyable experience. I just moved to another city and I really want to make some new friends and figured that most people my age are clubbing so I decided to step out of my comfort zone and give it a try. I bought a ticket to a club last week but got huge anxiety and didn't go at the last minute. I will try again next week.

The biggest problem is that I am worried that I will have to get into a fight because guys at the clubs are usually very disrespectful and often under substances which make their behavior very irritating. I don't think that I can just "mind my own business " there due to how crowded and packed clubs get. Additionally, I don't want to let people walk all over me because this has been my biggest issue and has led to me having suicidal thoughts.

Those of you who have been anxious about the same or have extensive experience with clubbing, what would you say I should do in such situation and how do I manage my anxiety and potential threat of a fight?

TL;DR Want to go clubbing but worried that will get into fights

Does/did anyone else hate school lunch? The food aspect of it sucks so much, but also, at least in my experience, I barely talk to anyone and I’m too shy to talk with my friends because my friends invite their friends in groups and it’s just sooo exhausting. I never know the right thing to say or the right time and I don’t think these kids like me that much so yeaaaa— social anxiety’s been kicking me in the tail recently hahaha 🫠

I’m a 19(m) and I’m kinda small like 5’5 and I’ve booked a ticket to see Travis Scott in London in July but now I’m panicking as 1 it’s my first ever concert and 2 I don’t live in London and I’m really nervous about being in a different city at night alone and I’m stressing like mad even though this is a good thing I think to help me get over some of my anxiety

Any tips?

I hate when someone says something and negatively judges my actions. It’s like to the point I shut down, I get a stomach feeling, my heart races fast, and I feel like a bad person who nobody wants to be around. I just want to go to the bathroom and cry. Anybody else feel this way when this happens?

I feel like a nervous wreck. My anxiety got better over the last year because i made some major healthier lifestyle changes but today i tried to get out of my shell and did some "exposure therapy".

I went to an open jam session alone with my guitar and i played on stage infront of an albeit small audience. It was a little rough around the edges as one would expect from a first time stage performer but people applauded a little so i guess it wasn't all terrible.

I had a little social interaction with people that i actually initiated. Very couragous but now im worrying that i annoyed them and that they thought i was weird. Im just super akward with new people. I really tried man....

I played 2 times and after the second time my nerves were just wrecked. I just sat around after that nervously fidgeting with my hands amd doing all sorts of weird coping mechanisms. Clawing into my arm skin with my nails those kind of things.

I feel terrible now. Im so nervous. Im proud that i build up the courage to do that but i feel like i over did it. That was to much at once for me. Should have left after the first jam and called it a day.

I hate being such a nervous wreck. I really tried my anxious friends i really did...

So for context right now im 18 years old male and have decent confidence and pretty much no social anxiety except for the slight amount that everyone has. So how did i do it? How did i cure my social anxiety? So no i have not been to a therapist, since i live in a very deserted place and my parents thought that it would be a waste of time and money to visit one, so i did not get an actual evaluation or whatever you call it, but i can tell you the symptoms were real. I was a shy kid all my childhood, and around the time i hit puberty i was depressed and socially anxious (lets just say my childhood was not very good and i have seen and experienced some bad things), it was so hard to go anywhere. Going to school started being a nightmare, if a teacher (or anyone really) asked me a question i would start to tremble and sweat and sometimes even be on verge of crying, all that would peak in my first year of high school. At that point i had liver issues because i was obese and i had to lose weight, that was the turning point of my life, after losing some weight i gained a bit of confidence and started working out at home. At this point i still had social anxiety but it got just a bit better, enough that i could sometimes be normal, so i decided to just throw myself in social situations, talk to random people or anyone really and it worked, 3 years later here i am and it has been about a year since i had those really bad symptoms, so what we can learn from this is that every person suffering from social anxiety has a root issue, it needs to be fixed one way or other, since an infected wound will not heal by itself. You need to treat it.

Sometimes I feel lonely, but as soon as I message someone my social battery is instantly drained, and I go play video games by myself.

Is it because I don’t like my friends? I only have two that I consistently talk with, but our conversations feel really bland and boring. I wish I could find someone I have a strong connection to (besides my bf)

ive had major anxiety and depression issues for four years and it all came on unexpectedly. i was twelve at the time and i was oblivious to all the signs that i had adhd forming. i went down all the roads, psychiatry, psychology, stomach doctors, ent doctors, i knew something was wrong but could never put the pieces together. i tried benzodiazepines, ssris, beta blockers, and nothing has helped me as much as adderall. my mind feels empty, everything feels quiet and im way more calm. i love life again after five years. i completely undermined how detrimental adhd can be, and im so glad i put the pieces together

Let me give you some context.

I am in the early 20s male. Since I was a child I was extremely shy. And didn't talk except my friends ofcourse. It mostly with my family and relatives I have problem. In their mind from the last year's I have made a mental image that this guy doesn't talk.

Again this is a less problem with new people but with relatives who have a mental image of me. So the issues I am facing are

1. I never initiate a conversation.
2. If they do I just awakardly laugh and shrug it off instead of replying.
3. Difficult to maintain conversation.
4. So next time if we meet by chance like we are walking I am afraid to talk and ig they don't talk because they know.

So what I want is I want to break the cycle and speak freely without restraints I don't want to think I really want to talk with them but it's just I can't I even don't know what to speak.

Dies anybody has any advice?

Im visiting my boyfriend for 3 weeks & he lives in a 2 bedroom 1 bathroom, super small house with his mom & sister. I have anxiety to poop or make any washroom sounds HELPPPPP

I’m so used to being the least wanted that being wanted feels so uncomfortable. Like someone actually letting me speak makes me wish they were like the other people and ignored me. it’s so ahh triggering

Over the fact that I’m socially anxious, I’m extremely sensitive and overly read facial expressions. Either because of this or because I’m actually boring, I just can’t go a minute without thinking that they don’t like me or value me. I feel like such a side character and it’s making me hate myself

I'm going to be honest right off the bat, i work as custodian so i go around cleaning up at my job. for the last 6 months there's this guys office who i have been cleaning up here and there. we would not talk at all, absolute 0 communication. i noticed he had a demon slayer poster up by his cubicle and would often read a manga volume i am familiar with. i wanted to talk to him for so long but my social anxiety would flare up and my intrusive thoughts would tell me "nobodys cares about what i have to say, why bother" so i would just do my job and leave right away, to make it even worse i would show up to his office around his break time so i def don't want to spark up a conversation in the middle of his break you know? some people including me like to relax and not talk to anyone during our breaks. this friday the department had a baby bash for a women who works there and we celebrated with pizza. i went to the bathroom and on my way back noticed we were both heading in the same direction so i held the door for him and he replied "thank you". he walked passed me and after that i had a moment in me that pushed me to blur out. "hey ummmm do you know when the next demon slayer season starts?" after that he looked surprised and told me the date and after that he proceeded to ask me "you watch anime?" i told him "yea" we talked a bit about demon slayer and a few well known animes. after that, to not overstay my welcome i told him it was fun and went back to work. five minutes later he came looking for me and asked me my name and told me his name and we proceeded to talk about more anime :) in the middle of his break. it was a really good time honestly. i def had trouble articulating myself here and there but i think the conversation went well :) we both love the movie "a silent voice" and love romance animes hahaha. edit i am a guy btw