every time i see a phone call i just run and hide 😭😭😭😭😭 i hate getting them so much, i get so much anxiety over what is going to be said to me or what could go wrong! it just crushes me w anxiety. but good thing i found out i have this, any words of support?

Hey guys. I've always had an issue talking to people on the phone, whether it be to companies, strangers, or family members. I usually do okay with friends, but my general reluctance to talk on the phone still results in me calling them less often than I'd like. At any given moment I often have one or two people irritated with me because I won't call them back.

Anyway on to my point, I was looking for a hobby project to practice my coding skills. I wanted it to be something that I'd personally use, so I thought a tool to help me keep up contact with my family and friends would be helpful. And the result of about a billion hours of work that I probably should have been spending outside in the fresh air, is an app I call "Ketchup" (get it? helps you "catch up")

The way it works is you add people from your phone and set how often you want to talk to them. You can have a separate "intention" (as I call them) for text, phone, and "visit" for each person. So that way you can, for instance, prompt yourself to text your Dad every week, but also prompt a call every month, and maybe a visit every 3 months. Then on your Ketchup home screen you get a nice list of what's coming up which you can check off as they come up. It has notification reminders, and you can also launch a phone call or other apps (whatsapp, messenger, skype) directly out of Ketchup.

It's not done by any means, so don't expect Duolingo levels of polish. I'm just one guy working on an app in my spare time that I'm giving away for free. But it is at a point where it works pretty darn well. And I'm still adding tons of stuff, so you can look forward to it only getting better as time goes on.

Anyway, just thought I might drop this here because as of now I don't have a single user besides the IRL people I've told about it. And although it's nice to have Ketchup to use myself, I'd feel even better about it if I helped other people too!

HERE'S THE PLAY STORE LISTING: https://play.google.com/store/apps/details?id=com.brimby.ketchup

There are no ads, no in-app purchases, and I don't harvest any data. All your phone numbers stay on your phone at all times and never pass through the cloud to me or anyone else.

TLDR: I made a simple free android app called Ketchup to help remind you to call friends and family so they are mad at you less often.

I just found this sub. I don't have anything important to say right now, but I just needed to express that I am so relieved and excited that this crippling fear I have of phone calls that is completely detrimental to my life actually has a name and community. Right now I'm having so much trouble calling the utility company so our actual electric isn't shut which lead me on a google quest and brought me here and I'm literally crying finding others.

I mean, I'm sorry that you all need to experience this as well. But it feels really good to not be alone.

Ive been looking for a job since August last year and honestly i think because of this fear i dont have a job yet. I planned on working till end of August 2023 which is when my gap year is ending but now there are only few months left. If Anyone sees this how do you cope with this fear? Or any advice on how to overcome it?

📣 Hey Reddit Fam! Introducing VOYP - Your Personal Call Assistant! 🌟

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📞 VOYP acts as your personal call assistant, taking care of all the nitty-gritty tasks. Simply speak your instructions, and watch as VOYP handles the rest with precision and efficiency. It's like having a virtual sidekick that gets things done while you sit back and relax! 💼

🔗 https://voyp.app

I'm looking for feedback so if you're interested or know someone that may be interested in trying it out please share.

I rarely use the phone, but now when I must, it's such a relief when it's over. It's usually stressful making the call. I don't care to answer the damn thing either. Probably goes back a long, long time, like back to when my father hated the phone, and people, and his own family, and living.

Trigger Warning: Suicide

Hi everyone,

A Qualitative Examination of Suicidal Thoughts (QUEST) study is recruiting adults (ages 18+) in Canada and the US to participate in a study investigating individuals experiences of suicidal thoughts and behaviors. To complete the online survey/see if you are eligible, please scan the QR code below or reach out to us by email.

​

https://preview.redd.it/50j79d7h7jua1.jpg?width=1296&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=55e12a5909e3d0c7b550c9d12b034928c1a5b04a

I just stumbled on this online. I have a real fear/problem calling people. My heart beats fast, I stumble and sweat. I usually just don’t answer and try to have people text me or ignore them completely. I have a really nerve wracking call to make now. I wish this subreddit was still active

Trigger Warning: Suicide

Hi everyone,

A Qualitative Examination of Suicidal Thoughts (QUEST) study is recruiting adults (ages 18+) in Canada and the US to participate in a study investigating individuals experiences of suicidal thoughts and behaviors. To complete the online survey/see if you are eligible, please scan the QR code below or reach out to us by email.

​

https://preview.redd.it/mg5ivuw145ta1.jpg?width=1296&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=6d8358dba28157570259843c6ca9c0dc5ba0682d

Let's look back at some memorable moments and interesting insights from last year.

Your top 6 posts:

• "This describes my life honestly" by u/SnooTomatoes4281
• "F***ing Facebook always updates and resets to the default to turn my active status on so then people know I'm screening their calls😬" by u/Terramisu33
• "Didn't think it'd still be so bad" by u/Zeilin
• "I created a subreddit to post about your victories throughout the day no matter the size"
• "Happy Cakeday, r/Telephobia! Today you're 8" by u/AutoModerator
• "Any customer service reps or tele markers on this sub with stories ?" by u/Alternative5869

It's an uplifting community where you can post the things you've accomplished big or small and be proud of it. https://www.reddit.com/r/TheSmallVictories/

I just cannot bring myself to answer the phone. I feel trapped! I feel sickening dread which promptly turns to guilt. I need my calls to be scheduled. I wish people would throw me a text first, just ask me, is now a good time to call? I'll get a phone call and agonize over it until I can work myself up to calling them back. I had switched all my social media to incognito mode so I could look at content without being bothered but it resets every time there is an update. Now it was obvious that I screened this person's call. I hate that I'm like this! But I don't know how to be any other way! Why does a simple call make me feel like a trapped rat??

Let's look back at some memorable moments and interesting insights from last year.

Your top 10 posts:

• "Wait....this is a thing? Other people have???!" by u/MamaAvalon
• "I have no problem communicating face to face but, I dread phone calls" by u/undeadrisk
• "Article: Telephobia Is Real and the Pandemic Is Probably Not Helping Matters" by u/NYCWriterOfAllThings
• "I reeeeeeaaaaaaally wish people at customer services would stop calling and just respond to texts/emails, why is this a thing??" by u/SnooTomatoes4281
• "I hate my life. A rant." by u/lovelyrainbow29
• "trying to move forward with telephone anxiety which i need to address to end homelessness, not sure what to do" by u/serene_queen
• "I can't text back my friends" by u/missmariag
• "Fear of Calls or inability to make calls stemming from childhood abuse?" by u/OCDSUCKKS
• "My Stepladder for Phone-Related Anxiety" by u/good_enough_person
• "Happy Cakeday, r/Telephobia! Today you're 7" by u/AutoModerator

I've gotten help and significantly improved with my anxiety over the years. I remember sitting in front of the phone, absolutely paralyzed, not even being able to pick up the phone, let alone dial the number.

I'm at a completely different place in my life now and I've run into a wall with having to make phone calls for work. Even when I'm paid to do it, I still find my heart pounding with this intense feeling of dread or impending doom. I physically feel sick. I almost want to cry.

The stupid thing is that I know it's illogical but I can't get the feeling to go away. I wish I could get words of affirmation but it's such a 'simple' work task that I must sound ridiculous for even thinking it.

I thought it might be interesting for me to share what I’m doing regarding overcoming my anxiety related to phone calls.

I made the stepladder using the instructions from this free workbook for Social Anxiety (Module 4), along with my own personal modifications: Workbook.

I used some ideas from this reddit post about overcoming telephobia: Post

I found some phone numbers by searching Google that play prerecorded messages when you call them because that is less scary to me than calling real people.

AL = Anxiety Level, rated on a scale of 0-10 how much anxiety I currently feel when thinking about doing the described activity.

Completed: Activities on the stepladder that used to cause me to feel anxiety but no longer do, or at least not much.

· Look at phone while it is turned off and sitting on the desk -- AL: 0/10

· Hold phone in your hand while it is turned off -- AL: 0/10

· Look at phone for while it is turned on and sitting on the desk -- AL: 0/10

· Hold phone in your hand while it is turned on -- AL: 0/10

· Look at phone on the desk while the phone number dial pad app is open -- AL: 0/10

· Hold the phone in your hand while the dial pad app is open -- AL: 0/10

· Type the phone number for a prerecorded message into the phone and look at it -- AL: 0/10

CHALLENGE: Call the same prerecorded message number 7 times – 7/7 Completed

In Progress: Activities on the stepladder that seem possible for me to do, and I may have done successfully before, but still feel scary and a bit difficult

· Press the call button and call the phone number for a prerecorded message and listen to it -- AL: 2/10

· Listen to my voicemails -- AL: 3/10

· Call the number for a different prerecorded message you haven’t before -- AL: 4/10

CHALLENGE: Call a total of 7 different numbers with prerecorded messages including the ones that you already have – 2/7 Completed

Currently Too Difficult: Activities on the stepladder that currently feel too scary for me to do. Since they are too difficult I will avoid them for now and focus on the ones in the In Progress section.

· Order food with an app that requires you to put your phone number in, but they probably won't actually call it -- AL: 5/10

· Answer a random phone call -- AL: 6/10

· Type the number for a real business into your phone and look at it -- AL: 6/10

· Call the business and ask what their business hours are -- AL: 8/10

CHALLENGE: Call a total of 7 different businesses and ask what their business hours are

· Order food from a restaurant that requires you to call -- AL: 9/10

· Type in the phone number for a business that requires you to make an appointment, such as doctor -- AL: 9/10

· Call and make an appointment -- AL: 10/10

I was talking through Facebook chat to a staff member from my old student dorm to get a proof of address and usually when the conversation progresses enough, these people think it's a good idea to say "hey give me your number so we can talk more about it".

BITCH I CAN'T. I suffer from fucking auditory processing disorder and if you're going to give me important info on something, A PHONECALL IS NOT GOING TO REGISTER TO MY BRAIN. And of course most of the time I suck it up because people don't even ask, they just go "ah let's just talk, my number is this". I probably should grow a backbone and tell them that I need accommodation on this sort of stuff but I'm so anxious usually and people tend to brush it off and go "it's not that hard, just respond/call".

I have no idea why I'm like this, I hate it so fucking much. I have to make a phone call regarding college stuff and I'm feeling nauseous. I wish I could meet people face to face and finish my tasks. Fuck covid.

Hi,

Let us all help each other. Free online Social Anxiety Support Group meeting, this Sunday, 3 pm EST(Toronto time). Everybody from anywhere in the world is welcome. Let us gather and discuss social anxiety, anxiety and depression. These meetings have been going on for the past 20 years every Sunday and many people have benefitted from them.

See you all

https://fb.me/e/Wxb5lkyq

https://www.meetup.com/toronto-shyness-social-phobia/

I'm crying to the point of tears so I need to let this out. I have anxiety. I hate making phone calls but I had to make one to my driver saying I wasn't going to school because I'm staying home to take my test today. I was pretty much scolded and yelled at by my mother for not making the phone call and I broke down. My sister just thinks I'm crazy and my mom thinks I'm being manipulative. But really, I just have bad anxiety and I HATE TALKING ON THE PHONE. I try to explain that telephobia is a real thing; it's something I always had.

But my mom uses excuses like "It's just a dang phone. Why're you so scared of it?" How I wish I was still in therapy. I miss my therapist; she was the bridge into bringing some goddamn sense into my family's brains. She actually understood me and she made me feel that everything negative & positive was okay. At this point, my friends or family won't understand me. I'm so thankful for you all and I feel so at home here. I feel like I'm not the only one having to deal with insensitive brutes from a society that thinks that everyone should speak on their goddamn phone like it's a superpower. (I'm mad right now, if you couldn't tell.)

On top of all that, I have an EXAM to take in less than 1 hour and you made me cry, mom. (Thanks a lot. You world problem-solver.) Like why do you have to scold a child over a common and normal thing like this? Why can't people accept that this is a REAL THING that happens to people? Do they not know what mental breakdowns are? Do they not know what having anxiety feels like? Because from my understanding, no they don't.

At this rate, I can just go and kiss my diploma goodbye. I don't know how this went from crying and ranting of my telephobia to talking about my mental breakdowns and possible future outcomes, but whatever. I feel like absolute garbage right now. Thank you for listening and I'm sorry I wasted your time reading this absolute crap. Continue on with your day and I hope it's going better than mine.

Hi,

See title. But a little backstory first.

i'm autistic and i've had telephone anxiety for many years. in the past, i was unable to call anyone at all, although this has gotten a bit easier. as i've gotten older and had to make calls.

Eventually I get exhausted and I'm just not able to make required phone calls so things don't get dealt with. i sent emails and often things would not get done unless I emailed back multiple times over weeks. which just wasn't sustainable and was a factor into why I couldn't access support and became homeless.

I was previously given the completely unhelpful advice from my abusive family (who i had to flee from and refused to help like "feel the fear and do it anyway" and "you need to chase them up" which i ignored because it was invalidating. It's not a case of that I don't want to or don't see it was required, it's a case of that I physically and mentally can't and becomes exhausting. many services only had phone numbers to contact and wouldn't give out emails even when i asked directly, so the service basically didn't exist to me. even if I'm in crisis and need urgent help, i can't do it. or if i do i can barely speak on the phone, become semiverbal and often have to hang up. i have no clue who i'm talking to or whats going to happen and it's overwhelming.

I found it easier over time in some ways due to having to make calls, but unfortunately there are still things I struggle with. it's been compounded by trauma as i've been hurt by services refusing to help me (including on blatantly prejudiced grounds) which factored into me developing cPTSD and has only made things harder going forward.

But the biggest barrier I have as things stand now is calling estate agents regarding viewing properties, which as a homeless person is a pretty big problem. i've never rented before so I'd already have issues being accepted for any rental property, but knowing the amount of calls I'd have to make so call (i saw another relative, who i visited briefly for an hour, had to take 4 property related calls in 20 minutes) it's just not something i can physically or mentally do, especially as i'd likely get rejected further down for line for not having a job, being on social security or having no guarantor.

I'd send emails and request further info but i almost never got a response. I would see listings with the words "call to inquire" which basically is telling people who can't use the phone not to bother contacting them. even when i explained in my written messages i can't call due to my disability and need text communication initially, i would get no response.

I'm really not sure what to do to help make it easier as this is the biggest barrier for me to end my homelessness (and by extension, employment and getting out of this country to stabilise my life). I managed to get placed in temporary accommodation but realistically I will need to move on eventually. In part due to covid and the severe mental state i was in due to having to flee my abusers, I've not been able to actively look for properties again since autumn 2019. The one time i was mentally able to send inquiries again since (autumn 2020) i wasn't able to return the one call I got in response.

it just feels so daunting, scary and not worth the time or energy unless it's to leave the country or in with a friend or relative (the latter isn't possible). i don't feel mentally strong enough to deal with the rejections i'll inevitably get which will make my cptsd worse, and not knowing how to manage the anxiety is a major reason as to why.

advice would be appreciated, preferably from those whom have been in my position.

Legit thought I was the only one.

It's really tricky being a person with chronic illnesses with telephobia because so many things just have to be done on the phone from making appointments to calling to check whether to doctor put in that prescription/referral etc. It's agonizing. Why aren't there disability accommodations for this? I was trying to make an appointment with my neurologist and I asked on the patient portal for one to be set for me and gave times/days that would work and they just responded telling me to call in. So now I have no appointment. How is that okay?!

Good day,

My name is Michael Stahl and I'm a writer in New York City [www.michaelstahlwrites.com]. I'm working on a story for InsideHook [www.insidehook.com/author/michael-stahl] about telephobia.

If you are someone who's struggling with this and would be open to an interview about it, I'd really appreciate the chance to engage in a discourse. You can remain anonymous if you like, and interviews can be arranged through text or email messaging. I have my questions ready to go.

Please let me know a few details of your symptoms and some steps you may have taken to combat them in a message on Reddit or in an email through my website. If you look through my work, you'll find that I report from a place of empathy and sensitivity, and this process won't be any different.

Here is a Reddit post that is NSFW (sorry) but between the post and top comment it confirms my identity: https://www.reddit.com/r/PLASTT/comments/jrk3e3/a_big_thank_you_to_the_2_bears_1_cave_podcast_for/

I thank you again for reaching out if you feel so inclined.

Best, Michael

Let's look back at some memorable moments and interesting insights from last year.

Your top 10 posts:

• "me irl" by u/Live-Love-Lie
• "FML" by u/PostBookBlues
• "I Hope increased calls is not the new normal" by u/spiritbear872
• "I don't want to be cured, just to be taken seriously" by u/suepurrdawg
• "My work is now having me take calls and I really can't stand it." by u/MaybeCats
• "i have to make a really important call but i'm too anxious to do it" by u/my-soul-left-my-body
• "I panick whenever someone calls (except if it;s my parents)" by u/candyflora
• "I need to make a phone call about some medical stuff arggggg!" by u/desertrosebhc
• "New promotion wont help me get over my feat" by u/spookaaaayy
• "Ever take a song that relaxes you and make it your ringtone? YMMV..I, personally, can't recommend it." by u/murmi49

My telephobia stems from being hounded by debt collectors. In my youth that was perhaps justified, but as an adult Capital One chased me for a storecard bill that had been paid and called me up to 8 times a day. Each time they ignored my pleas to stop calling and follow up on the dispute. Eventually I got a £1,000 payout for the harassment but I had no idea I would be so badly affected in the long term.I live with it, and most of my family and colleagues accept it. But, now for the third time in recent years, a bank (TSB, like Lloyds and John Lewis before them) has blocked access to my online account and will not provide a means for me to answer their ridiculous security questions without using the phone. I'm in tears of rage when I even think about the prospect of speaking to them. I've complained online, and told them I do not use the phone...but they are leaving voicemails telling me to call them. What can I do?

So I work at a vet clinic and I've been promoted to Tech assistant. Well sometimes we can get slammed with appointments on top of having to call clients and or answer phones when receptionist are busy. Everytime the phones ring I have to hype myself up to answer it. BUT I'll go to the phone with the intention of answering, but never go through with it and it has been eating at me all week. I've read about telephobia and I still dont know if that's really what's happening, but performance anxiety is definitely at the top of "things I struggle with"

The moment I think it's okay the phone rings and I'm being asked to answer but I cant bring myself to answer. I'm someone like most....(hopefully) I have a fear of messing up. Doesnt matter if it's at work, in public, and even at home. The thought of doing something wrong and being judged or rejected or called stupid has just stopped me from wanting to engage 😭 idk what to ask or what I want, i just want to do my job right and not go in the bathroom and cry all day, because I cant do a simple task that's apart of my duty.