Hi everyone! My name is Jamie Taber (they/them), and I am a transmasculine nonbinary doctoral student in the Health Psychology and Clinical Science program at The Graduate Center of the City University of New York. I am working with the Baruch College Sexual and Gender Minority Health (SGMH) Lab to conduct a paid research study on measuring trans-specific dissociation. If you are a trans or nonbinary adult currently living in the United States, you may be eligible! Participation will involve completing a 30-minute online survey to test and provide feedback on a new measure of trans-specific experiences with dissociation, which we recently created in collaboration with trans focus group members. I am especially interested in the perspectives of Black, Indigenous, and other trans people of color. If you are eligible, complete a brief Zoom verification call, and complete the full survey, you will receive a $10 electronic gift card.

You can find more information and complete the screening survey by clicking the link or scanning the QR code in the flyer below, or by going to: https://baruch.az1.qualtrics.com/jfe/form/SV_1OnJ0hpxbbcA0Zw

The Transgender Research Informed Consent (TRICON) disclosure statement can be found in the comments or at https://linktr.ee/TransDissociate.

Thanks!

[Image Description: A square flyer with a white background containing information about the research study. In the top left is a banner saying, “Paid Research Study: Measuring Trans Dissociation” in black text over a blue background. In the center are two abstract rectangular shapes that look like brush strokes. The left shape is blue with the text, “Provide feedback and help test a new measure of trans-specific dissociation by completing a 30-minute online survey, and receive a $10 electronic gift card”. The right shape is pink with the text, “You may be eligible if you are a trans or nonbinary adult living in the United States! Find more information and start the screening process at https://linktr.ee/TransDissociate”. Across the bottom, under the text, there are eight cartoon people of varying races and gender expressions wearing the colors of the trans and nonbinary flags. There is also text in the top right corner that says, “Baruch College SGMH Lab, Contact us at sgmhlab@baruch.cuny.edu, CUNY-UI IRB – 2024-0618-Baruch – 09/18/2024-N/A.” There is a QR code in the bottom right corner.]

https://preview.redd.it/duh50vw5ylge1.png?width=1080&format=png&auto=webp&s=d0fe26f074e135b19da78e57af7878c1cbe2c372

It doesn't need to be a grand gesture, it can be: completing chores, getting out of bed, getting a new job, staying alive, doing something scary, taking a shower, etc.

Share what you are proud of from this past week. Pat yourself on the back. Treat yourself to something nice today.

If you need self-care ideas, tips for finding a therapist, or links to call/text a hotline check out our Resources Wiki Page here.

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Hi everyone I go by JD and I and my Co host Jahmal are British of Jamaican descent and have a podcast in life, mental health and well-being and we recently recorded an episode on Self Care and the 7 pillars of self care. Here’s a link below.

https://open.spotify.com/episode/2SJCCicgBwPu4XtE2oIakR?si=OHb—ulxSYmOEyVATrfZ0w

I just can’t participate or contribute anything to people who use endless sarcasm, culture blocking, and don’t allow freedom of thought. Both conservative and liberal whites have elitist/class/race/disabled issues, so guess I’m out from all white spaces. I am autistic, disabled, black, poor, and not attractive. I’m a frugal person. I keep to myself because I’ve honestly never really liked most people all that much. I am basically a non-people person who has no reason to harm others although I have been verbally and physically harmed by others.

If you want to know why I bothered with posting here, I’ve just been banned by r/poor. I say that’s a good thing. I don’t want to participate in anything with people who think I’m a threat to them.

This is your monthly reminder that we have mental health resources & events listed on our Wiki page.

📑 Our Mental Health Resources Wiki page includes (but are not limited to):

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We continually update this list. Feel free to post mental health-related resources in the comments below and we'll add them to the Wiki page.

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The biggest barrier for me to receive therapy catered to my needs (trauma informed, Black female mental health professional) is incredibly difficult. I have TRICARE, but it seems like not many places like dealing with my insurance. Or many don’t accept insurance at all?? Who can pay $140-$200 per session?

I’ve suffered traumas which are further triggered by poorly trained and insensitive therapists. It’s exhausting. And I don’t have much of a pool to pick from. SMH. Recently I did an intake with a therapist who would offer services covered by a grant. During the intake I was so triggered by this woman. Apparently the racial and medical trauma (also racially motivated) was not a substantial amount of trauma for her. Then she kept asking me what my goals were for therapy, which I said and repeated “I want to not feel numb anymore. I don’t want these traumas to continue to impact me in my life. I want to talk to someone about what I’m going through. I know the coping skills and such, but I keep everything bottled in.” The gist of what she said was that the goal wasn’t clear enough. She kept asking, I kept repeating. Eventually she made up a goal for me (to heal from sexual trauma, even though that was years ago and it’s not the MAJOR event in my life).

I’m in grad school, getting a second masters (MSW clinical). I have a toddler, no family support (just husband and I with toddler), live in a red state, doing an internship, and trying to stay on top of class work. I just need support. My school could only do 6 sessions with me. Mental health supports in the country suck.

Edit to add: when asked about SI and behaviors, she asked why I stopped and I answered the last time I engaged in behavior was 2 years ago. I stopped because I want to be here for my daughter, she is my light. Then she asked me to put myself back in the mindset of back then engaging in the behavior and what stopped me then because I didn’t have my daughter then, I said idk I don’t want to go back there, this is an intake, and she wants a quick answer. I was so uncomfortable and she kept pushing. I just said because Im stubborn, don’t want to give up. That wasn’t good enough, so I said I wanted to travel. It was like she wanted specific answers. That triggered me so bad, so told her I’m done talking about behaviors. I explained no SI now because I’m no longer in pain, and told her that’s it because I didn’t feel comfortable sharing more on SI.

I want to pull my hair out, no joke. I’m so angry about our current political climate, so scared. My mother has been accusing me of being involved in a setup to have her killed for months. Accusing us all of siding with my aunt in a conflict she made up in her mind. She just slammed the door hard, she had asked me to get her soap in the bathroom while she was in the tub was screaming at me. Yes it’s wrong that I still let her make me food while she’s disabled but the way she responds to things is not okay, she was an abusive parent. Was screaming at my family member in rehab earlier tonight on the phone about how if he was involved in what she believes he was involved in he must repent. I have to get up early to babysit but I’m crying, this is just such a terrible time period. I hate my life today I do. Nothing about my life is normal I can’t cope with it right now I can’t stop crying

TW - MENTIONS OF SUICIDAL IDEATION

I've wanted to die for 9-10yrs now. I didn't see myself living past 19 and I turned 23 this month. I'm a little surprised but then again I'm not. I guess if I really wanted to die then I would've tried to. My reasons for not attempting were guilt and fear. I'm just now getting over the guilt part, I feel like those who care about me will be ok without me. As far as fear goes, originally it was because I don't know what happened after death and I was told that suicide is the greatest sin of them all - regardless of religion/belief. So I was scared but still yearned for an early departure. Now the fear is of failure, sure I'm still a little worried about ending up in hell or whatever but failing scares me more. If I try and the end up in a hospital, I'm not only going to be upset but embarrassed. So I figured if I didn't attempt and I don't necessarily plan to attempt (unless there's 100% chance of succeeding) then I must be doing this for attention.

I honestly can't tell you if I'm making this shit up or it's how I really feel. I try to ask for help but I don't think I ever follow through with what I'm being advised to do. It's like I'm knocking on a door and someone answers and tells me to come inside but I just walk away. There's no point of knocking if I'm not going to walk in. I don't like wasting people's time or taking resources from those who truly need it. I feel like a waste of life. I don't want to be here but if I truly felt that way then neither fear nor guilt should stop me.

I get frustrated with myself because I can't seem to decide whether or not I'm going to stay. There are times when I'm like "You know what, it's alright, I can stick it out till I'm 80, let me try and enjoy life and make the most of it." Then I make plans and all of these goals, only to lose that optimistic outlook a day or so later. It's a constant cycle, an inner battle between the part of me that wants to live and the other that desperately wants to cease existing.

I don't even understand why wanting to kill yourself is a bad thing. It's just me, I'm not taking anyone else with me. I don't want to be alive anymore. I've heard that things get better and I won't feel this away forever. I know 23 is fairly young and I have yet to experience life and all that shit but I truly want out. I never asked to be here. Hopefully by the end of the year, I'll either have the desire to live or courage to end it.

A former really close friend of mine, a supposedly antirracist ally, benefitted from institutional racism in a career move and got caught (unfortunately I cannot be more specific, but shit here is huge, believe me). Every black person that I know who was close to him is utterly devastated, since he always posed as this big progressive person both in words and action. All his whiteness just popped out, and he's acting like he's the victim and doesn't need to answer to the all the black people who are feeling hurt by what he did. It's White Fragility 101, it feels like I've never known that man. Other white people who I thought were nice and reliable were involved in the matter too and helped him. The black person who was directly affected by his actions is suffering, but steady and trying to get some justice. A lot of black people are with the victim, giving him support.

Since that I'm experiencing a lot of racial trauma symptoms, like crying a lot, regular nightmares where everyone I know is racist, anxiety, and my depression is coming back. I can't sleep, so it's hard getting my work done and even little day to day stuff, like house chores, seems too hard. I'm absolutely terrified about trusting my white friends. Don't even want to go out and see the day.

I wont say I'm mad about it, it was needed. But my god.... Just about an hour talking about what in the FUCK is going on. I am just... There are so many feelings going on. For starters, why... why did I decide to get my shit together now? For the first time in a long LONG time, I am not depressed. I am trying to better myself by going to school and now you are telling me this dumb ass wants to get rid of financial aid? He wants to cancel snap, he wants to undo the 14th amendment and the civil rights act for what? To line the pockets of billionaires?

It pissed me off that all it seems like we are doing is talking about. Why aren't the dem fighting back? If we ALL CAN SEE he has lined the government with his lackies.. why are we just allowing it to happen? I am so tired of seeing white and Latino people crying now because of what is going on. I want to be mean and hateful towards them. I want them to suffer, but I know that will not change anything. Im so mad that people were so worried about what people do with their bodies, I am tired of people being ignorant when google is FREE. I am tired of allowing white people to just get away with everything. I am tired of having to "educate" them on stuff. I am tired of having to prove why we feel the way we feel towards them. Im mad that people say getting rid of the DEI programs was a good idea. Do those dumb fucks even know what the programs are? Its way more than a diversity hire. On that note, I am tired of seeing people say that now companies will have to hire based on "merit" That is the DUMBEST shit i've heard in my life. These knuckle draggers think that they will hire ANY because they would met the quota. It makes me question their intelligence. People ACTUALLY believe that the people who are hired for these jobs aren't qualified. Black and brown people need to MORE qualified to even get in the god damn door. I am tired of other races need to be close to whiteness when they are the enemy. I am tired of pretending that they ARE NOT THE ENEMY. Im pissed that they will teach us the ins and outs of the holocaust but don't even starch the surface of slavery. Why do we have to educate ourselves on the terrible things that happened to our ancestors. Im tired to the pink mole rats thinking they are the superior race when in reality they aren't! Everything that makes them "great" was stolen or taught to them. If it wasn't for Black, Asians and Latinos this country wouldn't be worth a day. When it comes to black people, our influence and swag is global and yet people still aspire to be white. Im pissed that because to these people we(Blacks, Asians and Latinos) are so divided.

What I am pissed about the most... the meds make it so weed is not as effective.. So I can't even get my head out of it. I JUST had to want to get better now. The way I wish(not really, but kinda) that I could disassociate again.

I am a Brooklyn based black man and have recently found that not all therapists are equipped to be a sounding board or advice on treatment for some of the issues I have. I receive a lot of empathy but I'm looking for more of a solution-based approach. I would like to work through one or two things but I keep getting very fluffy therapy in the form of generic worksheets and monotonous 'how was your week' type of questions. I was diagnosed with Major Depressive Disorder and ADHD, and I have been seeing a therapist for a few years but recently had to move. I would love to see someone who comes into sessions prepared with a plan of action and knows which questions to ask. I am not always open but talking about many of the issues impacting my life can be very tough sometimes. I guess I am looking for advice on finding a therapist who is a good fit. I can do it virtually but also open to in-person.

I have no energy I know it’s because of a few things. I binge eat junk food so I don’t get enough from food. I lay in bed all day and I have constant anxiety or anger emotions I’m dealing with . I can’t talk to my mom about it cause she gets annoyed. I’m tired and then I’m hurt cause no one in real life cares. :( I think I’m having a silent crash out I feel so sad and low energy like I just cried but i haven’t cried

I am on the waiting list for EMDR therapy for my traumatic past. This is my first time ever doing therapy.

And I just wanted to ask. What red flags should I look for when it comes to psychotherapy?? How does EMDR therapy even work?? How does a therapist approach my trauma??

Yes I’m gonna vent about this! Almost every white man in this country that I’ve come across hates me for not making as much money as them. They hate black women, poor women, disabled women, women with children, old women, their own moms! They hate us so much that they make laws to hurt us physically and get away with it. Let’s face it. These rich boys hate us women and it’s finally showing in their actions. Just look at the many who have killed their girlfriends, wives, and children! Women right now need to fear all men! We need to fear them because they are so clever that they’ll use women to attack other women. That’s why they suddenly love female police officers. It was the same when they started hiring black police officers. Get us to kill each other so their own hands will look clean!

Unfortunately, there are but a few white men not like this, and not many men of any race left in this world who actually accept us as we are. I should also say there’s few women who care about anything more than money either. Every relationship is about money and looks. It’s nothing more than that now. Politics and money has ruined all of life.

Checking out now.

Is it a good idea to go and try to get a diagnosis for my mental issue with everything going on in the states right now? I’ve been searching for places in my city that accept insurance and I’ve found a couple, and I really want to know what’s wrong with me. I just don’t know how smart it would be to have any official mental disorder/illness diagnosis on my record that could potentially be used against me? I’m sorry if this doesn’t make sense.

I’m at the point in life where I don’t think medications work for me anymore, I been on mental meds since 12-13 years old. I am now 25 I’ve been exposed to some pretty traumatic and gruesome things in life. I had been able to deal with my depression and problems for years with little to no issues. After I had my daughter it’s like my mental health took a turn for the worse . Especially after her dad passed 2 years ago. I have been diagnosed with cptsd and depression. But my family thinks I may also be autistic. When I take my meds I feel like a zombie my meds are being changed every 2-3 months bc I just can’t feel normal I feel so out of reality on em. But anyways Ive been so fascinated with true crime since high school and it’s been kinda hard to pry myself off of such weird things. I want to die so badly sometimes but the thought of dying and where my soul will go after death terrifies me. I’ve lost 2 people to suicide my grandmother and my daughter’s dad. It’s like I have nightmares about there death but I crave all other kinds of gruesome things. I’m in cognitive therapy as of rn but I don’t feel like it’s working. I’m scared to talk to anyone about what’s going on in my head. Idk tbh I feel like I’m going insane honestly. No I’ve never had feelings to do harm to anyone but myself. No I don’t like seeing people get hurt. But I do like seeing autopsy photos and things like that. I use to want to be a mortician but I thought that it’d be weird. Sorry for rambling but P.s. my child doesn’t stay with me. She’s in a safe place. I would never and have never put her in harms way. I feel like her being away destroys my mental health worse but I get it I guess. No I’ve never expressed these emotions to anyone. And no my daughter being away from me has nothing to do with this stuff. I just wanna feel normal for her. For myself…

How would your mornings go?

You would wake up after a good night's sleep and roll out of bed, hop into the shower, let your hair get wet, the lukewarm water would be comfortable on your skin. You do the morning routine and get dressed as you let the hair dry naturally or use a few minutes of the blow dryer before getting dressed. You have a cup of coffee or whatever drink you prefer with breakfast, and you eventually go out into the world among a majority of people just like you or at least similar. They might say hello, might not, but you don't cause any suspicion in the neighborhood because you are white like just about everybody else there.

If you see a non-white, you might be suspicious of them. Most people like them are not able to afford your neighborhood. In fact, you got out of the low income non-white part of the city as soon as you made enough money to leave. People like them rarely even attend your church, and if they do, they aren't very well accepted with that hair and those ill-fitting clothes and that culture.

Your mom and dad taught you well enough, and part of that was keeping your distance from "those people." You won't ever need them in your life because whites take care of other whites, have the knowledge and strength to take advantage of every aspect of life and all other races if necessary. It's not your fault that no one wants them. Your life matters. Don't waste time pretending theirs does.

How about your afternoon?

Ahhh, lunchtime. The boss likes you and lets you take an hour because he trusts you to bring him back some food. He doesn't dare let one of those blacks do it. He says they can't do anything without someone looking over their shoulder with a whip in one hand, time clock on the other, and they sure better not take more than thirty minutes because give them and inch, they'll take a mile. That's what your boss always says.

The evening goes great. But then you come back home just to find out that the suspicious person you saw that morning was an old black lady moving in next door. You already feel sorry for her, but then you don't really feel much at all because her bad luck of the draw wasn't your fault. You also know she's going to be closely monitored by the neighbors and authorities. She'll be walking around with eyes on her back, that's for sure.

Life is good to you though. Another evening, glad to be white. It's more knowledge, more friendship, more activities, more opportunities to do and see and go wherever you want without question. Your parents taught you to never to settle for less, that's why being born white has been so good. At least you've got five-minute hair and a huge load of people to blend in with.

Now, you'll go to bed and good another good night's sleep. Life is far from perfect, but at least you're white.

I’ve had trouble posting this for since reason. Guess I’m blocked by a lot of users here and that’s good. I don’t want to be seen by those who don’t like me at all.

I’ve found enough proof that some people don’t want to talk about this. They want to say everything and shut you up because you live in “their” world. I don’t understand why those types of people even bother coming into a room if they expect everyone to be exactly like themselves, unless they really want a world of robots.

I have experienced trouble from all races in all environments all over the world. They do things not only to me but to just about anyone they want. It’s deceitful people, and now I believe more people have become deceitful, and more coming every single day. That’s just the way life is

It doesn't need to be a grand gesture, it can be: completing chores, getting out of bed, getting a new job, staying alive, doing something scary, taking a shower, etc.

Share what you are proud of from this past week. Pat yourself on the back. Treat yourself to something nice today.

If you need self-care ideas, tips for finding a therapist, or links to call/text a hotline check out our Resources Wiki Page here.

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I'm a Black woman who lives with Depression and I feel like I don't belong anywhere. I've felt that way my whole life for a lot of reasons. Also, not only do I feel like I don't belong within humanity. I don't feel like I belong amongst other Black people, either, and even slightly more so than with the general population. I feel like there's so many things about me that if they don't conflict with one group of Black people, will conflict with another.

I have so many difficult, painful "isms" that I have to deal with because I belong to so many marginalized groups including "Black" and "Woman." I grew up differently than many other people, Black or not. I have an atypical and painful family history.

I have likes, interests, romantic and physical attractions and ways of seeing things that separate me from some Black people. I have a financial and life situation that separates me from some of the Black people I would possibly relate to more because some of those Black people tend to see eye to eye with me when it comes to some more progressive, open-minded ways of looking at things save for the whole romantic and physical attraction thing.

I have a certain kind of temperament that I feel is looked down on in my community and at large. I'm more introverted and don't really like people that much because I've been hurt a lot throughout my life. I have a lot of trauma and find my nervous system being dysregulated often.

I also have mental health concerns that 'normies' simply can't understand whether they're Black or not and even some people who also have the same challenging concerns with their own mental wellbeing, lack compassion for their own struggles which leads to them having a lack of compassion for your struggles as well.

All of this and more combines into a situation where I just feel alienated from other Black people and more generally, all of humanity. Thanks for reading.

Are there any melanated true loners like myself in this group? It's a challenge to not fit in with the majority of the world let alone the community. I can't believe this life at times. I'm just seeing if it's other people that I can relate to and not normal people. I'm from another planet I swear.

I feel like a sitting duck.

I have been a Christian for most of my life (with the exception of a 5 year gap). And I have never felt more alone, misunderstood and rejected. I grew up in one of those non denominational charismatic churches, where everybody speaks in tongues and has spiritual powers or whatever.

One of the biggest red flags is the level of control they have over members. My mom is 100% committed to the cult - she loves them and specifically, the pastors more than anyone. It's all she has. To have a relationship with her, I have to go to the church. I learned this the hard way.

I stick out like a sore thumb bc I can't get down with the controlling aspects of the church. I can't even pretend anymore. They'll pressure members to be at church at least 2x a week (Sundays, Wednesdays, Friday special services, Saturday staff meetings, etc). And they guilt trip you HEAVY if you can't go to something. And they have favorites - the favoritism is a bit on the extreme end, as the favorities there have deep political connections.

Between the controlling aspects of the church and the currenr political environment, I just can't do it anymore. Thankfully the church isn't part of the MAGA cult. They are, however, super pro-Israel and anti-Palestinian. None of them connected the dots between blatantly supporting genocide and the rise of fascism in America. Very odd. Some of the ideologies I'm seeing from black Christians in America are getting more and more extreme. they're more misogynistic and paternalistic than before. Like, it's scary stuff.

I still believe in God. But his Christian ambassadors SUCK. They're judgmental, hypocritical and constantly seeking power and influence over others, without earning it. Can't tell you the last time they actually raised funds for local charities in the city. And when I asked them to consider this, they ignored the request.

It's causing me to lose hope in people altogether. I should've known better but I still had hope. Maybe I wanted to believe my mom would be taken care of by these people, and believing in their "goodness" would ease my mind. It doesn't.

currently closed - Unfortunately I got a lot of bot traffic, working to fix that before relaunching. will update when I do.

The purpose of this study is to understand whether an online training is helpful to people with mood or anxiety symptoms. All participants will receive information and resources related to mental health.

The link will take you to a survey that assesses whether you are eligible. The only identifying information collected is your email, so that you can receive the follow up surveys and payment at the end of the study.

Thanks for your consideration!

Clickable Link to Prescreen Survey

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Edit: added flyer and link (apologies!)

Let me explain: I have experienced black/African individuals set me up as a thief when I paid for everything and the actual person who was stealing was a white. I have shopped at these places for years being a regular customer. I had one cashier not take off tags on purpose or not want to bag items. But when I ask for the receipt they get mad. What is going on in my area?

TW- Mentions of Suicidal Ideation, Self-harm

Idk how else to say this other than I'm tired of being here and I want to kill myself. I don't understand why feeling that way seems to be a problem. I asked my therapist why and she told me that talking like that will get the police sent to my house and I'll end up in the hospital. I'm not tryna be put on no hold n sent to a facility again so I stfu. I have another appointment with her and I'm currently struggling, hence this post, I don't know if I can continue being honest with her nor do I feel that I would be safe doing so. There was this one time when I had mentioned to another therapist that I wished I had the desire to live and to live for myself. I feel like I'm living for other people, and she said that "we're supposed to live for others" and that's our purpose or sum like that. Idk if I'm just a horrible person but that shit sounded whack af. My reasons for staying were guilt and fear. Guilt from leaving those who care about me and fear of what happens after death. I no longer feel any guilt, I understand that ppl will be hurt but there's nothing I can really do about that. My sister told me she already made peace with it so that's all I really need. As far as fear goes, I'm only afraid that I won't succeed in my attempt. I'm sorta on a fuck around n find out type of thinkin when it comes to what happens after death. Now my real dilemma is the constant back n fourth between wanting to stay or go. Part of me is over it, ready to write the goodbye letters, transfer money, etc BUT another part of me wants to do better, chase after my dreams n all that. It's like a constant battle between the two and its exhausting. I just end up frustrated with myself and my inability to make a decision. The level of frustration I feel when thinking about myself is so intense that I feel the need to be violent towards myself. I just want to hurt myself, if I could physically beat my ass I would. I'm so angry with myself, I wish I could stop being a little bitch and just end it already. I deserve to die, I'm a bad person masquerading as a caring one. I'm so ashamed of my existence and I feel guilty that I wake up everyday. Idk, that's how I feel towards myself, at least that's how part of me feels. The other part, is actively trying to be more compassionate and understanding towards myself. Affirmations, making plans, positive "I want to live" type things. It's difficult feeling this way, I feel like I contradict everything I say all of the time. Well this is pretty long so I'll stop here.

With so many laws being overturned and only day 3, I am very worried about whether I’ll be able to eat the same food I’m eating now. I hear rumors that orange wants to get rid of the FDA, but the FDA makes sure manufacturers properly label their food for people with food allergies. If that gets shut down, what happens to our food?

Life is already hard enough having to inspect all the food I eat and make sure I’ll be safe eating it, and being black on top of it. But now I’m scared things will get worse.

I don’t know what to do. On the one hand, I don’t think it’s unreasonable to be worried about this and being worried about the country becoming more fascist. On the other hand I have GAD and OCD. I don’t know what part of me is rightfully worried or taking things out of proportion. I can’t tell if this is the OCD or not.

I want to get information but the news triggers me. I want to be prepared in case something happens but I’m also so anxious I can’t move. Does anyone have any advice? Anyone here with food allergies?

Ever since the inauguration my sleeping patterns have worsened, I've lost interest in most things and I'm growing more and more hopeless knowing that we still have four years (and arguably even more) of Trump. I can't move out of the country because I don't have the funds nor do I feel right leaving my family behind and let's just say, it's best if I don't have a gun right now. We've already begun sliding backwards already in the first week. Everyone around me is fine, giving me the impression that they don't understand the severity of what is going on or I'm overreacting.

I hate going to Reddit now because every five minutes it seems like there's another article of Trump reversing something good or implementing something bad. Yet I feel if I disconnect from news/politics (at least for a while) I'll be out of the loop at something that might affect me. It'll mean retreating into delusion to make myself feel better. I'm utterly lost and afraid of the future.

Update: A mixture of talking to others, going for a walk and adderall helped me a bit. Thanks for al the advice and words.

My mom is going to yell at me for another thing I got diagnosed with thyroid cancer in may and it started to get matted from there cause I got too sad and scared to worry about it now it’s so bad

…. :(