Hi everyone. I’m an activist and I’m trying to curate a list of activities that families and parents can participate in to combat the development of internalized anti-blackness.

Right now I’m putting together an exhibit of all black toys and positive images of the Black family unit. I was wondering what type of activities and conversations are being had at home that I can add to my programming.

If you know of good Black MonoRacial content, books, film, art, music I can include please share

So this happened to me after a workplace situation gone wrong. Ironically when I'd moved to this state there was a man who lived in my apt complex experiencing something similar. Now he didn't tell me the exact reason but he'd literally been dug out of his apt. I'm not sure if he'd already been evicted or what the situation is, but if he never had showed me the huge dirt pile and him using his computer chair as a raft through his front room I would of never believed him. I took was improperly evicted in a similar "environmental" manner. He was also black and now I wondered if maybe the landlord and state were too scared to evict him properly. I notice in other states the gentrification process seems similar to what my apt resulted in complete with the boarded windows etc. Has any other black person had to experience this? Or maybe something similar?

My mother has been having a breakdown over the past two weeks. I’ve posted about it on here multiple times. I’m also on the second day of my period. She’s threatened to call the elder abuse hotline one when I quite literally go out of my way to avoid talking to her because of how badly she stressed S ne out. I’m a black woman and all of this is too much. She plays her conspiracy videos loudly every. Fucking. Day. I already struggle with depression, I don’t know what I want major to be and I can’t handle this. Last night she asked me out of the blue if anyone ever sexually abused me, because I “treat her like shit” and claimed her tarot card readings said something about it this shit is not NORMAL. I must repeat that it is not NORMAL. I know that her mental health is failing but I feel like she is going out of her way to try and trigger me. I finally had to email my county’s family services. My father took $10k from me and still owes me $4k of it he lied and was showing me the bank statements every fucking day he started taking this money when I was 17. As a black woman this is just all TOO. MUCH. When you are black in America (I know some racist Redditors are going to downvote me and disagree but I have to say it anyway) you already have a target on your back. As a black woman, I receive no protection from anyone. My community’s men do not protect me. Most men I meet do not want me. My parents don’t protect me, the state isn’t protecting me. I do have money saved up, but my area is very expensive to live in so I had really wanted to save more of it. Everything is always so uncertain. I have about $22k saved, am supposed to have $26k in my savings account (father still needs to give me some of my money back…) I had hoped to live here while saving some more money but with the way my ownfucking parents are trying to ruin my life, I’m not even sure that I can. I would be lying if I said this isn’t impacting my mental health. It certainly is. I am biting back the urge to throw something, the urge to pull my hair out, the urge to do something drastic, especially with how painful my period already is.

I’m sorry but what a fat bitch. I don’t even care anymore that she’s mentally unwell, how the fuck does a mental illness drive you to CONSTANTLY accuse your 19 year old of being involved in a “setup?” I tried playing music over it like my aunt suggested (over her bullshit rambling) and she quite literally got up in my face yelling while I had my headphones in. And then when I came into the bathroom while she was smoking in there she started mocking me with a sick smile on her face talking about how she’s going to call the elder abuse hotline even though I swear to god that I never talked to her. I couldn’t have headphones in this time. Just this fat bitch, I mean I’ve avoided calling in a professional to help her out with her mental health because I know she’s just going to say awful things to them.

Hey friends! I am about to be as transparent as possible because I need some advice. I can't figure out ways to improve my situation besides having hope. But hope is pointless with no plan.

1. How do I get out of taking ubers?

Due to being sold a shitty car, I've been left taking ubers/bus/getting rides for the past year now. I have been trying to save up for a car but the downside to that is that I literally can't. I take ubers about 3 or 4 times a week. Each ride is 45-50 dollars one way. So you can imagine how that is fucking up my savings. I take the bus 2.5/3 hours to get to work. Where I live the transportation is not the best. I can get to work(3 hours early) but getting home is the problem. I've been applying for jobs closer to my area but its like no where is hiring. Im 33, I've been working since I was 16 and have done about every job under the sun, so I have the experience but I can't even get an interview at McDonalds.

2. Trying to save and paying debt to be able to move.

I came up with this game plan earlier this year. I want to go back to school because of the lack of jobs. I figured if I can't find a job then might as well go back to school and get a degree to improve my chances. So the full plan is to start getting my gen eds out the way this spring semester, save my financial aid and move to Chicago in May, continue and finish school there so I can transfer to a school out there that does a duel degree program. However in order to even do this, I have to pay off some major debts off first. The ones I think would prevent me from getting approved for a place would for sure be the 2k I owe on this car, I have some other smaller cc debts. I have figure out how to pay for that, while saving to move while trying to figure out how to save for a car. All on $18 an hour. Its been a year and I know people are tired of giving me rides and I am REALLY tired of depending on others to get around. What is also weighting on me, one of the people i've been leaning on is planning to leave in February. Without him here the uber costs are about to go up.

3. Would it even be smart to even get a car if I plan on moving to Chicago?

I go back and forth with this because I KNOW having a car would help right now, but in the long run, if I am moving, I won't need a car. Chicago's transportations is LEAUGES ahead of where I am now. If I can get around easily I don't mind not having a car. But I know I need one for when I am here, Trying to get to and from school and work is going to be hard without a car.

Now before you suggest cutting back, let me lay out what I am paying for.

Entrainment(crunchy roll and playstation)=15

Phone/internet=190

rent=400(don't go crazy... I live out of my uncle old office)

food=100 for 2 weeks(I only eat once a day) this lasts me till right before I get paid again.

misc= 50 a week. I buy water and energy drinks in morning for my commute

Ubers= around $270-300 a week

Health insurance=5 right now but going up to 30 on the first(adding dental care)

I was just approved for $75 worth of food stamps...Its better than nothing, but still(Bombastic side eye!)

The only idea I've had is to empty my 401k(only about 1k) combine it with the first disbursement of my financial aid to pay the car off. Thats really it. I am trying to set my future up while trying to live in present.

Im just at a loss as to what to do. I can't quit this job because then no money would be coming in. I truly can't find anything in my area that is actually hiring or a place paying the same or more than what I am making now. I believe that school and this move are the right next steps for the long run, but its now that is getting to me. I can't pay these debts because all my money(and then some. Thanks Chime for afterpay!) is going to Ubers. Im really trying to pull my shit together.

So I made it home from school for winter break. For the past 2-3(?) years, my grandmother has been having an ongoing nervous breakdown over financial issues with the death of my grandfather. She has loud outbursts and screams and calls our names all day. She doesn’t sleep at night, so she keeps us up. I say all this to say, that I want a relaxing break, but we live with her until my mother can figure some things out. I have no where else to go, if I want quiet. I can’t talk to my therapist because she left the company 😕 So what can I do to handle the stress that comes with my grandmother? I love her but it’s been hard.

So at the beginning of the year it started off rocky for me. I was literally being bullied at my now part time job. I decided that I needed to do something different. I good certified as a cna and got a better paying job and weren’t part time at my other job. Recently I just started going back to the gym to help with my mental health and to lose the weight I’ve gained over the past few years.

Been feeling discouraged about the state of racism and misogyny in the gaming space. The DEI stuff, gaming being ‘ruined’ by diversity and representation etc. I love games, grew up playing them and relate a lot to other gamers, but oftentimes I feel ashamed, unaccepted or like I’m being watched bc of all the discourse. I’m also studying games development at a PWI, and it hurts me that people surrounding me might have the same sentiments about DEI. I love what I’m doing but also feel uneasy and unsure I’m going the right direction, and like I’m losing my passion for games in general. How do you guys deal with these complicated feelings?

The more I hear about what trump has to in store its starting to worry me. I can admit, i've never really given a fuck about politics. I have always felt like the president is front, they have no power. But with this orange monster has minions who can actually make his plans a reality. The things I've become extremely worried about are the talks of dismantling the board of education, I deiced to go back to school in January. I've heard that they are talking about cutting ADHD meds, I just got medicated this year. I am so scared of just being stuck.

Its amazing to me how people are just ok with all of this. How could so many people think that this is way America should be going? Why does this country want to take steps back? I know history repeats itself, but good god, I am not the sharpest tool in the toolbox, but even I can see all this shit is gonna FUCK us up. It irritates me because I've clawed my way out of depression to better myself, now I don't know if ill be able to get an education, I don't know if ill be able to get my mental health under control, I don't see how to not dwell on this.. How can so many Americans hate others so much to block them from knowledge? Block their access to care? Why aren't we revolting? Can we seek asylum in a different country? I just... I just don't see how greed is the ruling force here? Things are undeniable.. We can see the effects of global warming, we can see them actively trying to erase history, we see neo nazis on the rise. I just don't see how everyone who voted from him can't see that this tv celebrity felon should not be in charge of air.. It just scares me and I've never been scared of living through a presidency

My family is VERY dysfunctional. I’ve posted about it here multiple times, like an insane amount of dysfunction. My parents are emotionally abusive and I knew that cousin posted that to her story in regards to me. It was enough for me to take her off both my spam account and my main account. F that. I have the right to complain about people who stress me out more than they support me.

I have to work in a few hours. I agreed to go to a babysitting gig, it starts in about 4 1/2 hours. My mother has, for almost 2 weeks now, been accusing everyone in the family of being involved in a plot to kill her. I didn’t do anything to her today, I never talk to her. She came into the bathroom when I was brushing my teeth talking about how my energy is “off” and about how my aunt (who she claims set her up to be killed) isn’t my mother. I slammed the door on my way out because as someone who is already depressed I don’t want to hear this bullshit every day. It’s been 2 weeks now, she won’t stop. I have $22k saved, am supposed to have $25k saved but my father took some of my money. I have to babysit soon but I’m about to start crying or at least I feel like crying because I just… I just feel like my parents wants to ruin my life. My brother has been in rehab for years. With the way they treated him when he was younger, it’s obvious to me that deep down inside, they didn’t want to see him succeed either. My father even apparently said when my brother was a child that he wouldn’t succeed in life because he was dark skinned. Well, these two bastards don’t want to see either of their kids succeed. I had planned to stay with my parents while I saved more money, because my area is expensive to live in and I HATE spending money since I grew up poor. It’s becoming clearer and clearer to me every day that my mother will just never stop. Even after she starts taking her diabetes medication again, she likely won’t stop. She’s been toxic for years. Mentally unwell or not, this is just who she is. But I’m just so angry because if I have to move out, it’s going to be a lot harder for me to acquire wealth. This is why I can’t stand my parents. This is why years ago, I said that poor people shouldn’t have kids. To some it may sound wrong, to some it may sound mean, but having kids when you are poor… you’re just setting them up for failure, especially when they’re black. I believe that some of what my mother is doing is intentional. I believe that she wants me to remain impoverished. I believe that both of my parents don’t want their kids to do better than them, because they’re losers. I really do believe that.

It doesn't need to be a grand gesture, it can be: completing chores, getting out of bed, getting a new job, staying alive, doing something scary, taking a shower, etc.

Share what you are proud of from this past week. Pat yourself on the back. Treat yourself to something nice today.

If you need self-care ideas, tips for finding a therapist, or links to call/text a hotline check out our Resources Wiki Page here.

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Black women we really do have to start protecting our female family members. And these young girls from perverts and these men. I don't know what's going on with you, but you can not let a partner or bf or even a brother or father think or be too comfortable to put his hands on your baby/female family and think he's gonna be ok.

You protect these creepy b@s t#@ds.and it's tragic.

A women/ young lady is owed protection. it's not her being spoiled or all about herself. simply because she wants to control who touches her body tf. it's basic human rights. As ladys we are suppose to be feminine, but if there was ever a time to be masculine it should be when your female family/friends/children are being harmed mana bear needs to come out period!

I am 39yo and have had various friendship changes. I have one friend who has been my friend for a long time but she is distant. She doesn’t update me on her life. I have one who is married with kids. And I’ve just had some people to fizzle out. I kind of like being by myself but I want other people to experience me! I have a lot of people who I’m friends with but the friendship is not deep.

I am a married 34M, love my wife and her success but sometimes I just can’t shake the feeling of not being or doing enough. To be clear, I have a successful career and enjoy my job. But my wife is a college graduate with 2 masters and a phd, she is extremely intelligent, and just seems to be successful no matter what she does. I am a very secure person but do get jealous from time to time from all the opportunities she was presented to get herself to this position. While my go was very very rough through life, it just sometimes feels like my only role is to work and bring money. I don’t feel like I have much of a personality or hobbies, no interests or anything cause I was always driven to work my fingers to the bone. Now that I’m older and more stable it’s still just work and more work. Just really don’t know what to feel from here.

I wouldn't recommend that ANYONE call these people in the midst of a mental health crisis.

During a recent mental health episode that I had, I disclosed how and why I was struggling to the person on the other line for a good minute. Their response? Pausing for a good while and asking, "So what's going on with you right now?" nonchalantly. I repeat what was incredibly triggering to say again. They pause - again. Say, "I'm here for you," in the most bored, uncaring tone ever, and then hang up on me after saying literally nothing again. My stomach just about dropped when this happened. I'm a Black person in crisis with no one to talk to and that's how I get treated?

When I called back twice to inquire about how they handle such dismissive and unprofessional behavior for mentally fragile people and formally complain, I was continually interrupted and given vague answers in a passive aggressive tone by one person, and coldly told to just write an email by another. No apology, no empathy, nothing.

Go write in a journal or something instead. Calling this place honestly made me even more suicidal, and it's downright appalling that this organization touts itself as a being "safe" nonprofit for Black people. Just disgusting. I will never call a crisis line again.

Edit for spelling and additional info: I've called crisis lines a couple of times prior to this, and ironically, these ones that were actually kind and professional weren't even primarily focused on Black/BIPOC people. Lmao.

Every time I see tweets of people saying the most gruesome things about us I just wonder what the point of living is. I am so insanely tired. I just want to check out of life for a while. It really sucks. It's everywhere. I can't escape it. Taking a break isn't enough for me. Knowing there are a lot of people like that in real life, and knowing that there's someone like that coming to office on January 20th. I just do not want to be here. For a very long time. I wish I could go away somewhere. Where I don't have to worry about my people. My family. Me.

I have anxiety. Due to a lot of different things that have happened throughout my lifetime I often don’t feel safe. I like James bc he seems like he’d keep you safe. He seems like he’d protect you from danger. I really like that.

It is what it is. I don’t have any answers or solutions to anyone problems, not even my own. I grew up in white neighborhoods, mostly on AF bases and have zero childhood friends, never lived around extended family (it was mom, dad, brother, and me), I’ve always been plain looking and short, no figure, undefined facial features, autistic, schizoaffective, hospitalized for both physical and mental conditions since early childhood. I was the kid in school that everyone bullied, and once becoming an adult, everyone hated me. I have decided to pull away from people and isolate because just about every time I go out in public, there is always someone, or several people - white, black, and all others - who find me as their target. People automatically have a problem with me. I have been verbally attacked on buses without saying a word. Men sit across from me and start talking weird stuff to me while I ignore them, or they hold up their phones to take pictures of me and laugh. Women yell at me that they are going to beat me up (the black ones), or yell at me that I am from a criminal race (the white ones). I really do hate this world and most of the people in it.

Context.

I received an email yesterday saying that my site will suspend internships next semester, meaning I have no longer have an internship. They already removed me from their website. I then received a message from my supervisor saying essentially that this is my last week. I have to find a new site in order to graduate next semester. I've sent a message to my school about the sudden change and haven't gotten a response. I have a meeting with my professor about feedback later today. I've gleaned that my professor and my previous supervisor/site are friendly with each other and have had conversations outside of me. I think I'm going to ask her to be direct with me.

I've sent messages to potential internship sites and gotten no responses. I reached out to the local group for Black professionals in my area and had no response. I even reached out to my state's board for help and was told to reach out to my university, something I've already tried.

I'm just so tired. I'm just so, so tired. I feel like there's something about me that's just totally unpleasant and undesirable.

I said nothing to her. I honestly did not. I came home from work and was immediately yelled at and sweared at. I’m getting outside forces involved now, I’ve waited too long and this kind of tension is going to stress me out badly enough to a point wherein I get fired from my job. I feel calmer at work than I do at home, which is not normal. She yelled at me claiming that she “had” to clean up a face mask I had put down on the table (I did not ask her to.) She said I “don’t clean up the shit” in my room. I am happier at my job as a behavioral technician than I am here. She’s been accusing us all of conspiring against her for a week and I can’t handle it. I can’t even just come home from a day at work, I should honestly work more often. I struggle to sympathize with her because she is a 52 year old, I pain or not, who is intentionally combative with her 19 year old daughter. Of course I’ve felt like vomiting my guts out over the past week. This is what having an abusive parent is like. She wasn’t always this way but I try not to think about that. I honestly don’t feel safe around her even though she’s never physically harmed me because her energy is veerrrryyy off. I really don’t like her. I know she’s unwell and that some would say it isn’t fair, but I just don’t like her.

Tl;dr: I feel as it's hard to not be a bit irate at preposterous behavior of others. But realize you have to be calmer because of stereotypes

So Edit for context(sorry if there is typos):

I also, feel like while situational I do think this is not a simple answer it's layered. So I think I wanted a discussion because I know what I want to do versus what I feel like doing or what's appropriate.

This is a lot of context. But I almost got kicked out school because I would get very defensive about people being racist. I grew up in a racist hometown I don't play that shit at all. So when I got to college and still experienced racism. I was very up front not putting hands on anyone but letting g them know if they keep being racist we're going to have a problem. A few months later they report me saying I have behavioral issues.

I am part of this new program after college. The most outspoken black students are given bad reviews and treated poorly. They are ignored and overlooked. They even get made fun of by faculty who talk down on them to other students. It's a cycle.

I've been embarrassed on dates where I should have stood up for my date. But I became paralyzed because of how bizarre the treatment was. My date unhappy with how their meal was prepared asked for a warm plate. The lady pretended to help but came back with the manager and pressured her to be okay with the meal. When she affirmed it was too cold they got mad. Gave us the free meal. I was upset. It was on my face and she came back got in my face and asked if I needed anything. I fought to keep my composure.

Going to stores. At first it would only happen when it was just me getting asked if I need help being followed in the store. But when I go with friends I often get searched. Went to one store with my girlfriend at the time and they were looking at us through a different aisle. We couldn't even see them looking at us repeating do you need any help. It was crazy even if we needed deep we don't know who's asking. It was almost the most embarrassing threat of don't steal we're watching you even if you don't see us.

Going to the gym. Racist men (racism doesn't always come from white people some are nice). But I will be followed in the gym. Eyed down while working out. Then after eyeing me followed around the gym. At first I thought it was a coincidence but I went to the gym last night and they would point and laugh st me mind you I'm not even doing anything to them. They only behaved like that in a group. I have never been so angry. I did have when solo guy I think get mad I was doing planks. He was staring at me so hard I was just like I'm going to move because the only other thing I wanted to do was punch him. Like who the fuck are you looking at. I don't know why but it boils my blood when people don't mind their business.

I don't believe in micro aggression or mini racism. There is no little bit of harassment, sexism, molestation, or anything but when it comes to bothering people who are black these things are supposed to be chalked up to minor inconveniences.

However I didn't want to provide context because people seem to think actions don't have consequences and reputation doesn't matter. In fact, I feel as if another way to control other races is to make it their responsibility to represent their race and bring them up. Every decision is on you to fix problems and if you don't you're lazy cause it's hard out here.

Tl;dr: I feel as it's hard to not be a bit irate at preposterous behavior of others. But realize you have to be calmer because of stereotypes.

We can easily become consumed by our mental challenges and life difficulties, losing sight of the dreams we had as children. What did you want to achieve or become when you were a child?

My mother has been having a breakdown. It was better for a bit yesterday but the behavior made a return as I suspected it would. I honestly don’t want to be around her but I’m also very intent on saving up more money.

I'm a masters level student, and the last part of my program requires several hundred hours of intern work. For the last few months, I've been working at a site I was excited about, though that excitement has died down significantly.

It started dying down when I was told the hours I was supposed to get fell off the schedule, leading to me having far fewer hours than needed for graduation. I was then set up with a new supervisor, and we haven't clicked well. This supervisor (who is white) commented that I should refrain from wearing a hair bonnet to a meeting, something I have never done before. I recently told her that this comment felt stereotypical and made me feel uncomfortable. She didn't say sorry - she just said she wouldn't say it anymore.

Before I gave this feedback, she said she had feedback for me. She told me I tend to over apologize - something I admittedly do need to work on. But then she followed it up by saying it makes me seem incompetent and unreliable. After the hair bonnet comment, I couldn't help but wonder if she felt that way about me anyway.

I'm looking for a new site to work at, but I haven't gotten any responses so far.

I'm just so tired. This site prides itself in being queer and BIPOC friendly, but I can't help but feel unwanted.

**Update:** Got an email saying they will be suspending their internship next year. The original agreement was that I would stay with them for two semesters. Sent a message to my school for an update. Felt it coming, but still stinks.

Hey everyone so my stepmom and my youngest sister had an argument about how my stepmom feel like my sisters and I don’t like her because we don’t talk to her about anything.And I think my youngest sister is upset because our biological mom is gone from cancer and I hate that she feels that way because she was so young when we lost her (she was 5 and I had just turned 18 when she died) and she never had a chance to spend time with our biological mom like I did.I love my stepmom and at first I didn’t want to let her in my life because I was still hurting and I still am but I still accept her.And she feels like I don’t like her because I don’t talk to her and I am always in my room all the time but my room is my safe space and always have been since I was kid.And I apologize that I made her feel that way and I wanted to tell it’s not her it’s me ;I’m going through a longggg battle with depression.But I didn’t tell her because my dad butted in and was yelling saying that she buys for us and takes us to places to spend time together and if we don’t like our 2nd mom then we can get out and live with our grandma and see how she treats us.

I haven’t told them how I feel suicidal at times ; it’s not I want end myself but I just wish and hope that something terrible would happen to me (like a car accident,or I go to sleep and never wake up,or someone taking my life etc.).I guess you can call it 2nd hand suicide and the reason I don’t say anything because I feel they wouldn’t understand or care to because when I first went to a therapist I was diagnosed with severe depression and anxiety and all they told me was I need to leave my job because that’s what’s causing my anxiety.Like completely skipped the depression part especially with my dad and if you are a black woman or man you know black parents don’t care about mental health until their child is dead.So I don’t know how to explain it to my stepmom that I’m dying on the inside and I wish I was never born and maybe their life would be better if I wasn’t here.

I don’t think we should be focusing on the racism part as much as the mental health part as racism will always be here. If my research is correct he was struggling mentally and his family wasn’t involved in his life. There’s also a history of criminal activity. Not that that’s a reason to kill the guy bc there’s no way the killer knew of any of that. If he was actually a threat to the people on the train I can see the reasoning for doing something to stop it but killing him was not needed. America is already known to have a mental health issue and he was a result of that. I do believe race 100% had something to do with Mr power ranger stepping up and killing him especially if there was that many people helping to hold him down. As we all know just being black is polarizing in itself and there’s a lot of people that wouldn’t mind taking one of us monsters outta here right? Ofc he would’ve lived if he was another color but I think this is different from an innocent being killed. The whole trial being acquitted is terrible and he should definitely face some consequences. There’s a very small chance that we can eliminate the hate in the hearts of those people but we can watch out for our people (family and friends) it costs nothing to suggest some therapy or listen. I am saying the killer is still wrong but we can’t get much done about it but make preventative measures in the places we are able to. These people don’t give a fuck about why he was killed it’s a game to them so who are we even preaching to?(there are some people who’s eyes are open but it’s not many

thoughts? I am 100% open to any additional information on this please don’t come on here with the ignorant shit

She said that she is feeling better. I know that with how bad things were for a little over a week it may return to the way it just was (what I’ve been posting about) but she’s been playing music all day today, no more conspiracy videos!

I am not perfect. Far from. I am 19, and I may very well be “lazy” like my mother said yesterday. I work, though I’ve been working less often ever since my mother had a mental breakdown (9 1/2 hours now.) I am also taking finals for college this week, still don’t know what I want my major to be. I do have money saved ($22k, and my father took $10k from me without my knowing so at this point after paying me back some) but I hate hate spending money. I don’t cook, clean or do my hair (have curly hair) bc I have realized recently that I am honestly still very depressed and mentally “stuck” in the past to some extent (in a state of arrested development.) My mother screamed at me yesterday when I suggested that no, unlike what she’s been saying, she is obviously not a very moral person if she used to hit her son (who has been in rehab for over 3 years) that “everyone hits their kids” and that if I had “gotten my ass beat” when I was little I may not have such a mouth on me. She’s been having a breakdown and accusing everyone in the family of conspiring to kill her. It’s all too much to deal with, I had been getting better but it’s worsening my depression and anxiety I just feel so stressed out and sad. I know that I’m going to have to eventually call a mental health professional to come in and deal with this. I don’t feel bad for resenting my parents, some may say I should but I just know - I just know - that they don’t truly care about my brother and I. Maybe when I was v young they cared about me but not now. As a woman I feel so lost seeing my mother go out like this. I feel like crying all the time. And I had been getting better before this too.