How can i play freely,how i want to,without caribg if people laugh at me ?

A girl came into my life this year and many things happened it was like a roller coaster ride, still something happened and i left her, but great experience now i go for running at 4 am everyday and will start boxing just building up the stamina for 1 month, idk how i alway's thought that it will not get fixed in this life or i need to go to a councellor or psychiatrist but maybe something changes you in your life

I have worked the same job for over a year and it still seems like nobody knows who I am. I have a couple of friends but mostly people ignore me and walk right by me and nobody starts a conversation with me or takes interest in me. The management has always been really quick to point out any flaw in my performance no matter how insignificant.

Recently they hired some women and I can't help but notice that they'll receive much more attention just for being women and existing. Coworkers who still ignore me after over a year of working with them will be so friendly and charming to the woman who started last week, taking such a strong interest in them and asking them all kinds of questions about how they're doing and complimenting them and supporting them. Even the married men will just take such strong interest in the women. I witnessed one of my managers actually hugging one of the new hires and telling her she's doing "such a good job!" after she admitted to making a mistake, and she didn't seem against the advance at all. A mistake that he would have crucified me for making even if it was my first week. I remember when I was new at the job, that manager in particular had no sympathy for me if I made a mistake or didn't know how to do something. But I'll notice how the women are supported and coddled and people take such strong interest in them and rush to assist them for any small issue.

I get that it's not always "good attention" but I still can't help but notice how differently the women are treated. Dudes who've never spoke to me after a year will rush to befriend a woman. I witnessed this one girl who only just started a few weeks ago just getting bombarded with all this praise and support and it made me jealous. I myself don't know how I could ever befriend a woman if basically every guy is trying to talk to her all at once. It's crazy to me how differently people can treat you just for being a different gender

I’ve taken ashwaganda naturemade gummies and L-theanine. I took ashwaganda for a week then stopped because i didnt have no use for it as i finished my presentation and graduated, so i was just home all day. i’ve been taking it for the past 2 days, once a day, for my virtual job interviews. yet i still feel no difference in my anxiety as it’s still noticeable. when im nervous, i run out of breath fast (i am also overweight so idk if that also plays an effect), also at the interview i cant even look the person in their eyes. any tips

I go into panic mode during dentist appointments and my blood pressure shoots up so high that they don’t want to risk treating me. I’ve had to delay procedures and reschedule several times. My primary monitored my bp and signed a release saying my bp was within normal range but I still had reschedule recently. Does anyone have a similar problem and take something right before appointments. I take Bupropion and Zoloft. What should I be asking my med doctor for? TIA 😊

I was bullied in elementary school and high school and have a lot of trauma around friendships. It’s really hard for me to make friends and even harder to stay friends with people. Well, I became friends with someone in 2023, and we decided to become roommates in mid 2024. After living with her I think I came to terms with the fact that she had been making fun of me to people, and talking down to me. This has happened a lot where I become friends with someone only to realize later on that they don’t see me as an equal.

Several bad interacts with my roommate later, everything from accusing me of throwing her stuff away when it was MY stuff, forcing me to look after her cat for 2 weeks without even asking me, every time I have a conversation with her and a group of people she would try to triangulate me. Now, it’s extremely awkward and neither of us have spoken to each other in months. The funny thing is, when my boyfriend comes over she’s super friendly to him, and sometimes she will include me in conversation in these scenarios. But it just feels really weird and makes me uncomfortable for some reason. It makes me feel like a toxic jealous girlfriend or something but it’s not in like a “I think he’s gonna cheat on me” way, it’s a “I don’t want him to like and be friends with someone who obviously doesn’t like me” way.

I feel so uncomfortable in my apartment and I try my hardest to use the common areas like the kitchen and living room when she’s not there because it feels so awkward even though it probably started when I stopped making small talk with her? Idk how to talk to her about even the smallest things unless my boyfriend is there because that’s the only time she even addresses my existence. But every time there’s a small inconvenience or anything she tries to blame me which I think makes my anxiety around it even worse. Like, she told me I need to use my lamps less often because our electricity bill went up, but lamps don’t use a lot of electricity, it was because she puts the heater up really high since her room is furthest from the heater, so I boil all night in my room while the heater tries to reach her room.

Sorry for my rambling if anyone reads this, this was certainly not coherent. I just feel like everything is my fault because I don’t know how to communicate with people and advocate for myself.

18M and don’t have many friends, have extreme anxiety and not attractive in the slightest. I know that’s negative but I don’t think I actually have things to be positive about.

I know this sounds stupid but I just feel awful about it, like I am some lazy idiot paying for someone to do something I should do on my own and I get anxious even as I hear the guy putting the groceries on my doorstep. I just imagine him getting mad at me and feeling resentment at me for delivering my stuff this way. It's all because I am too anxious to leave the house.

My 9 yo daughter Hayley has always been very quiet when in group settings with people she's not comfortable with (etc. Always quiet at school, she has soccer once a week and won't say a peep while there even though shes known 4 of the 10 girls for years. When visiting the school for parent teacher interviews she pretty much shuts down and speaks in a faint whisper)

She's always kept 1 or 2 freinds close while at school but never more than that. These are the only 2 people she will talk to during the school day. She's not comfortable even getting up infront of the class to get a kleenex or asking the teacher for help if she needs it.

For about a year now she's been getting migraines pretty often. The last month it's been nearly daily. On Wednesday this week one of her 2 close freinds Mia, had her final day at school before moving to Germany, understandably this was very hard for Hayley. She had to be picked up from school Thursday midday because of a migraine / upset stomach, Friday she stayed home from school and stayed in bed all day dealing with this migraine. Today is Friday and she has developed another migraine.

All this said were starting to wonder if these migraines are social anxiety/ stress induced. There seems to be a link between the two. I'm just posting here to see if anyone has had this or seen this before, what their experience was, and if there's anything that helped.

Personally I've struggled with social anxiety quite a bit as a child, and a bit as an adult aswell. So I can relate to what Hayley is dealing with.

We've tried a number of things to try to find the cause of these migraines but nothing really seems to be of much help. She's hydrated, has electrolytes daily, we've taken her for massages, chiropractic, acupuncture, avoiding sugar and caffeine, had doctor visit, etc etc. Usually end up giving her Ibuprofen and an ice pack on the forehead which takes the edge off but isn't a real solution to the underlying problem.

Any input us greatly appreciated!

hi i wanted to start this by saying i have had major self esteem issues ever since i was a child. i was always shy and anxious, awkward. now as a 21 year old miraculously i have a good bit of friends, most of them are from high school but ive just never understood why they want to be friends with me in the first place, i dont think im very funny and i definitely dont have my shit together im awkward. i know it doesnt help that i put my friends on a pedestal but i genuinely adore them they are all so beautiful and creative and just all around amazing people. i would die for them. i come from a small town in florida i never thought i would have what i have now, i felt very isolated as a kid. im utterly shocked when people reach out and want to see me, i dont necessarily hate myself i think i have a few good qualities but when im around my peers i am soo anxious. i hate the sound of my voice and the way the words come out, i feel like my body language is always off i never know what to say or how to react without coming across as weird unless i drink of course but i dont want to rely on alcohol to feel comfortable around my friends. the only reason that makes sense to me is that they are friends w me bc im “attractive” i dont feel this way about myself i think my face from the front is okay if i have makeup on, but i am very insecure about my profile. i spend hourss getting ready just to have a casual night with friends i feel like if i dont look 100% my best then i wont feel 100% but no matter what i do the whole time im STILL thinking about my insecurities it takes me out of the conversations, instead of reacting genuinely im focused on how im coming across, how i look, the tone of my voice etc and it’s exhausting, even through text im worried about using the right words or emojis, i dont even know if i really know who i am because im too focused on trying to be who i think everyone wants me to be.

It’s honestly so true like every girl nowadays is so glam, perfect skin, gorgeous hair, everything. I don’t mean this is a bad way but in the old days people were not this glam. I think part of it is the makeup we have now, fashion, and maybe girls just care about going to the gym a lot more than back then. Idk, it just seems like everyone is so much prettier now. Secondly, I feel mad about this because I am nowhere near as pretty as other girls. Plus, I hate “gym culture”. Like I know if I worked out more I would have a better body but I literally don’t have time for that and I hate working out in public because of my anxiety. How does everyone find time to go and workout every single day?? And why does every girl make it seem like if you don’t workout then that’s a horrible thing?? I’m just upset that I feel criticized for not being a perfect gorgeous completely healthy lifestyle. Tbh half the people who are glam are the ones who have a ton of money. I’m poor and can’t afford luxury, and I feel criticized by that. Maybe it’s just the place I live, in the South because it’s a massive pattern here. Anyway that’s my rant, people have changed over the years and I believe it’s the glamour and luxury (some) people get.

i've come to a realization recently, something that took me a while to truly understand, but it’s become clearer with time. the only way to truly overcome social anxiety is to intentionally put yourself in the very situations that make you uncomfortable. there’s no shortcut, no magic pill, no way to escape the discomfort of those moments. you just have to dive into them headfirst, even when it feels overwhelming. it's about gradually desensitizing yourself, learning to stay calm and collected when your mind is screaming at you to run.

if you’ve ever struggled with social anxiety, you probably know what it’s like to avoid situations where you could be the center of attention or feel exposed in any way. it’s the natural instinct to retreat, to seek safety in solitude, to protect yourself from the discomfort. but here’s the thing: the very act of stepping into those spaces of engaging with the people, of facing the potential for judgment and awkwardness that’s where the magic happens. it might be painful at first. it might be awkward and feel like you’re stumbling over your words or making a fool of yourself, but that's part of the process.

i’ve realized that there’s no other way to grow. the process isn't about suddenly being perfect at social interactions. it’s about embracing that discomfort, letting it be a part of the journey. it’s about the slow, deliberate act of rewiring your brain to see social situations not as threats but as opportunities to connect, to learn, and yes, sometimes to fail. it’s all part of the human experience.

yes, it will be awkward. yes, you will cringe. you’ll probably say things that you wish you could take back or moments where you wish the ground could swallow you up. but you know what? those moments are invaluable. they teach you more about yourself than any textbook or therapy session could. each awkward interaction, each uncomfortable experience, is a small piece of the puzzle that helps you get more comfortable with who you are and how you present yourself to the world.

and at the end of the day, that’s what life is really about, isn't it? it’s about learning and growing. the discomfort is a sign of progress, of transformation. we only grow when we push ourselves beyond our comfort zone, when we face the things that scare us and learn to navigate them. it’s not easy, and it won’t always feel like you're winning, but each step forward, no matter how small, is a victory.

so, if you’re stuck in the cycle of avoiding social situations, i encourage you to step outside your comfort zone. embrace the awkwardness. embrace the cringe. it’s all part of the journey of becoming the best version of yourself.

i'll be heading to school/classes and my internship workspaces. yes it's hard. yes it's overwhelming. but that's what the beauty lies.

I’ve always been more introverted & developed more severe social anxiety in my adolescence. However, I often didn’t raise my hand or speak in large group discussions because I’d either think too slowly or not say anything unless I was 90% sure I was right.

All my life, my report cards told my parents I was quiet & they wished I could speak up more. However, IMO should people be graded based on how much they speak (no matter if the statements are inaccurate and such).

The title says most of it. I had just moved from a private school to public school and I’m a junior. I have a hard time making friends and I feel disconnected from the kids from my school.

I’m sorry this is gonna be long. Hi. I’m a 16 year old, straight As overachiever with a perfectionist attitude, quiet, a people pleaser, a let people walk over who has never gotten in trouble and I feel hopeless at life. Every day, I wonder ‘what’s the point of this?’

I have no proper outlet at all. I give myself time to write down and process my thoughts somewhere, but never express them. After starting to attend a boarding school, I realized I never knew how to comfort a person because I’ve never been comforted and just told to suck it up or shut up/been hit my parents. I’ve learnt to just repress everything because that’s the only way to conserve my energy and keep up with the high academic stress I have. Though this year I’ve completely lost it all, finding no purpose in studying or getting a degree or a job, and I just spend the majority of my days in depressive episodes like this, all while hiding it perfectly. I’ve pretty much never talked to anyone about my feelings. It’s always ‘I’m fine’ but I SERIOUSLY go through huge efforts to cover up as if it is illegal or something. My friends point out how weird it is that they’ve never seen me cry. That I’m sometimes ‘too happy’. I don’t even know why I feel this way. Most of the time I assume people won’t be of much help. But also, I can never ever trust anyone with anything about me at all. In fact, I know for sure I’m the most boring person around because I’m so terrified of anyone having any dirt on me (even though I’ve never done anything wrong) or just anything to make fun off. Nobody knows about any of my interests unless they’re the ones to share them first. Nobody knows what I watch on YouTube, what kind of music I listen to, etc. I am deathly scared of being perceived in this world. In a way, I love thow I’m invisible to people that they don’t even realize I’m in the room until hours later.

I see so less of myself that I’m genuinely surprised when a person acknowledges me or tries to make me part of the conversation, tries to include me in something, or when a new person meets me and treats me like any other person, I realize how numb and accustomed, even expecting, I’ve become of people ignoring me and discarding me as an unimportant part of the conversation. I don’t have a single close friend, and those whom I call ‘friends’ at school are… well it’s kinda complicated. They leave me out a lot, and I feel so worthless that I don’t even try confronting them. I am left alone in my room for weeks or months on end while the others go to parties or hangouts I’m never invited to. But on the other hand, I don’t want to force them to make a friendship with me, especially when I don’t know what they’re talking about half of the time… and yet still, some days it really feels like we’re goofing off like real friends. I’m given all the ‘goss’ even though the only thing I can do is mimic the ‘OMG’ reactions I’ve been carefully perfecting over the years.

Not only did I wish I could find people with the same interests, but also I have such little experience with literally everything, growing up quite sheltered and under helicopter parents who I’ve only now come to realize think of friends as a way to just stall time and nothing that actually serves to be an important part of life because ‘family is everything’. It’s been killing me how badly I want a real, deep connection with anyone at all because I’ve never been close to anyone around me at all. My family kind of sucks and I have been convinced to practically never talk to relatives more than small talk because they’re all ‘evil’. I was also told to never tell anyone about what went inside the house, what hobbies or extra curriculars I did, or where I went out the day before to my friends since literally fricking junior school. Truthfully, I live in a society where the culture is to be very judgemental and nosy and narrow-minded. But this all just never made sense to me. I always felt so isolated from my peers, biting my tongue down every time I wasn’t sure if I could share a minor detail because who knows what kind of reaction that would provoke at home. There is still a lot I don’t understand about social situations and friendships and just stuff that ‘should’ve come to me naturally’. Even living far from my parents, I find it difficult to interact with my peers in high school. I’ve never even been bullied, probably because I just became so reserved and secluded that nobody had anything substantial to go off of. I just feel like a spectator of my own life.

There are people I want to make friends with and talk to but I literally just cannot and at this point I’ve developed like ‘friend crushes’ on them but I am so deathly scared. At one point I became a bit too obsessed with this guy and I think he started to notice and this just completely ruined everything because I didn’t want to come off as a creep so I just completely avoided him forever instead of actually talking. It sucks so bad I worry so much I can’t even make friends with people. I keep coming up with scripts but freeze up when I actually try to talk to people. My grade is really weird with people shoved into their own closed off groups, and nobody wants to advocate for others or have any interest in talking in general casualness like I've seen other grades do. The people in my school are so exhausting. Everybody hates each other’s guts and I’m tired of keeping track of who to talk or not talk to. I’m not the biggest fan of my friend group but honestly I have very little options. And talking to someone outside of my group just feels weird and would lead to judgement and confusion on their part because why the fuck would they want to talk to me. I’m so tired of everything. I’m so scared. It hurts to walk by people in the corridor whom I so badly want to learn more about. Sometimes I just accept the death of those imaginative fun interactions I could have just to spare myself the pain.

I also feel too afraid to try to be cool or do things that I even know I’m good out, and I have no idea why, whether it’s the fear of being seen as a ‘try hard’ or just having high expectations set for me? I don’t know, it makes no sense. I’ve been too afraid to try cool slick nicknames as my friends did or have fun making chibi art… all because of what? Seeming cringe? Even to myself? Or what others thought of me?

Honestly, it’s like I don’t even know who I’m supposed to be. I feel like nothing but the wind to everyone around me. I know I shouldn't be so worried about not getting everything at such a young stage in my life, but sometimes I don't even know how to feel about some situations. I wish I had anyone at all, if not a friend, then an older brother or sister, or even a teacher/adult/guardian who I could actually talked to instead of having to deal with all my struggles all alone.

Almost 4-5 years ago, my mom once took me to who she described as a ‘personality development expert’ to possibly talk about my ‘shyness’. Needless to say, I didn’t say a single word for the entire 2 hours we were there as my mom kept on chattering with the woman, with me welling up with tears and digging my nails into my tense frame every 10 seconds, trying not to break down. My mom didn’t even notice. After the session, when my mom was getting outside, the woman quickly locked the door and finally talked to me face to face and I just burst out like a volcano. Still, I wasn’t able to communicate with her my problems and she ended up just telling my mom that ‘I would grow out of it’. Since then I have gotten way better at self introspection and requested my mom to talk to a counsellor just a few weeks ago. After a lot of guilt and shame about wasting money, I talked to her, but because I had repressed so much I literally couldn’t connect with those emotions and exactly explain to her what I was going through. I only had two sessions with her, because by then we had already spent too much money and I had only told her the scratch surface i.e. “I don’t have proper friends” “I have low self-esteem” “I’m a people pleaser”. Maybe she wasn’t a good match as the advice she gave to me was just literally everything I had already tried, but because I was too scared of challenging her by opposing her too much, I just nodded and yes-ed my way out of those sessions. I really wished I was in a more determined headspace so I could push her to actually help me, but I think I was heavily set on avoidance mode for those weeks.

All the fun in my life seems to be sucked out. I don't feel like doing anything though I fantasize a lot. I've lost the point in studying and my grades are falling below average. I'm scared this is the death of my teen hood. Of my peak social development years. I’m left mourning the life I could have had, every single day. All the people I could talk to, all the things I could experience, if only it weren't like this. If only I wasn't just stuck in my room. I wanna have a fun life so bad... even with things like late night road trips, or stuff like hanging out with friends after school, exploring cool places or skateboarding or just lying in the grass. I've never done any of that.

Change seems to come naturally for other teenagers, but for some reason I really resist it. I feel so scared. It should be expected, parents should be dealing with rebellious teenagers, but I feel the irrational need to live up to the view people see me as, as much as I hate it. I don't know why. Suddenly using better vocabulary or dressing differently or just acting different... I just can't do it. I feel so stuck.

My mom is really controlling and everyone in my family just needs to point out everything and make fun of it. Even my teachers, even with little things as trying out black nail polish for the first time, and she wouldn't shut up about it for days. I've been so terrified of acting obedient all the time, even so much so that I would be afraid to laugh in front of teachers or make a ruckus which makes me tense up a lot around friends as they seemingly couldn't care less about those things. My mom's also been restricting me by not letting me go out for university away from home, even though I have no care for it, and pressuring me to follow a career choice I don't want. And anyways, I find it hard to argue with her because I don't know what I want to do with my life anyway and I knew that if I actually moved away from home I would never talk to anyone and be even more fucking lonely and probably die alone.

Another random thing, I feel so worthless I feel guilty for buying myself things, or maybe it's the fact that I'm so deprived of financial literacy so I can't tell if I'm making the right choice or not. Even the idea of gifts just makes me feel bad, like I'm just gonna end up with more clutter to hoard and resort to over consumerism and harm the environment. I've got a terrible perfectionist attitude at efficiency and sustainability.

I overthink so much and I love it. I love analysing shit nobody gives a damn about and all of this thinking has led me in too deep or philosophical for too many things I really shouldn't be worried about but I can't share them with the people around me without being called insane.

I wonder if it is possible if I'm become slightly desensitized or just numb to all the pain and suffering because trying to get myself to cry to let stress out has taken too many frustrated failed attempts.

You know what scares me? More than dying, that I’ll spend my entire life being suppressed and suffering in silence, trying to stay afloat looking fine on the surface. That my entire life will go by, and I'll just keep waiting for it to begin. Sure, I keep reading about how people's lives get so much better in their 20s, 30s, 40s- but what about now? What if I always use up the energy I have to survive rather to resist and change? What if I just become someone’s silent, oppressed, submissive ill-deal-all the burdens mother like character? I don’t want to carry all this misery forever

This is only a fraction of everything but I needed to get something out, at least something which could help me. Please, let me know whatever I can do or any advice you have.

What are your thoughs on having a group for socialisation irl with other anxious people ? Like to practice being social and talk.

Would that be a good idea or not ? Thoughts ?

I have faced this feeling so many times...everytime I try to come out of my comfort zone I feel this anxiety like feeling. It's like stress almost like I don't want to.
It's a very irritating feeling almost like you want to cry a bit. You just don't want to do it cause it feels overwhelming...it feels dangerous and unprepared.

It is partially boosted when when you see people around you doing so much and you see the designation you are trying to reach is too far almost impossible.

I'm not talking about something like buying things at the store but like, how people go to places and meet new people, and have small talk and conversations even with people they don't know, and talk to someone without being scared, and have friends who also have their own friends, things like that. "Normal" social live type stuff. People say they think about something everyday as hyperbole but I, no dramatisation of the fact, think about social interactions everyday. Is this completely normal, or a by-product of social anxiety or is it something completely unrelated, can anyone even relate?

Also idk if this is the right place to ask this, should I try elsewhere?

So basically i come in late very often to school because i live very far away from it so i always end up being like 5 mins late and this obviously leads to a lot of eyes on me whenever i enter the classroom so i put up a fake facade of confidence and walk in without “caring”.

Now this fake facade has been detrimental to me because now my classmates think i have main character syndrome and this girl always makes jokes about it. So guys what should i do now? I dont have a big ego and im a nerd on the inside. Should i keep up the facade or walk in looking anxious

I’m only 17 years old but I feel like I’ve hit rock bottom of my anxiety/depression. I’ve been depressed for around five years now and social anxiety followed soon after because of years of bullying and bad experiences. I don’t even know how it appeared but it was like one day I woke up and it was there.

My life has been completely ruined by this because I used to be a big extrovert and I didn’t really care what anyone thought of me so It’s really painful to go to school with people that knew me before I had anxiety. Every time somebody speaks to me I flinch and my whole face turns red. I can’t even finish what I’m saying without shivering and shaking all over the place. And I just know people notice it and think I’m some weirdo. I haven’t gone to any social events in over two years and I can’t go to the grocery store alone even though I know that it’s not so bad but once I get there I have a full on panic attack.

I hate school and my classmates. I have no real friends and I struggle to socialise with family members (excluding my immediate family) I feel like I’m fucked for life if this doesn’t get any better because I don’t want to live like this. Everybody in my class has girlfriends and I can’t even look at the girls there. Every single interaction I have feels like a massive chore and sometimes I really want to do something and I just can’t because of the anxiety. I couldn’t even get my drivers license.

So how the hell can I get over this horrible curse that is Social Anxiety?

Does Anyone Else Struggle with This?

I’m curious if anyone here has experienced something similar. During conversations — regardless of who I'm speaking with — I eventually start feeling this strange pressure building in my head and face. My face feels hot, and it often starts with a sensation like butterflies in the lower part of the back of my head.

It’s hard to describe, but it feels like a mix of growing anger, fear, or anxiety that I desperately try to control. I think I may turn red during these moments, but since I can't see myself, I’m unsure if I become very flushed or perhaps pale instead.

This typically happens when someone talks continuously without a pause. In those moments, I have a strong urge to end the conversation and walk away, even if I genuinely want to engage. This reaction occurs even with people I like and with family.

For context, I was diagnosed with suspected Asperger's Syndrome at 36. I've struggled with social anxiety for as long as I can remember and possibly generalized anxiety. I also exhibit many ADHD traits and have CPTSD. Social interactions are incredibly challenging and mentally draining for me. Making eye contact or having face-to-face conversations (especially across a table) is particularly uncomfortable.

This sensation is perhaps the most distressing aspect for me. It’s as though my brain sends me a sudden signal that the conversation is becoming unbearable or that I feel trapped, even when I initiated the conversation myself and genuinely want to connect. The worst part is the fear that others might notice my discomfort, perhaps thinking I'm annoyed or irritated by their talking — which only adds to my stress.

Interestingly, I’ve found that Phenibut helps mitigate these feelings significantly and allows me to enjoy conversations more naturally.

Does anyone have similar experiences or advice on how to manage this better?

keeping this brief and loose because it's 12:30am and I don't even know why I'm writing this 17yo, started 50mg Zoloft a month and a half ago maybe

had a school counsellor deliver a note to a girl on my behalf because she was always nice to me and I didn't want to lose her to changing schools. no mention of a relationship further than friends

went well and we exchanged numbers

extremely anxious texting her at first but trying my best to conversate with her. manage to have a 2 sided conversation for a couple hours

eventually gets easier to talk to her. she's invites me to see a movie

nothing really happens and we're both nervous but we have a good time

after a few more times I get better at seeing her in person

have a long and meaningful conversation at her place

we're now both flirty to each other and I feel barely any discomfort and we're meeting again soon

Idk what the fuck is happening to me but I'm the happiest I've been in like 5 years

Absolutely deleting this tomorrow okay bye

Like I say. Is there anyone who has experienced SA develop in their 20s (or any time) who can remember a time where they weren't like this?

In a way it feels just as bad to go from one end to the other. I used to have very mild SA when I was 18-23. It wasn't really disruptive to my life. I had a good group of friends who were a good influence on me, and I had a girlfriend. Wasnt bothered about going on nights out/trips/parties etc. But I let bitterness and depression control me and ended up single. Then my friends settled down or their careers took off. Over the course of my mid 20s I changed drastically and being "myself" got harder. Now it's hard to get to know people because im always plagued with negative thoughts that put people off. I can't really say anything positive and seem genuine anymore.

I got one friend and she's an anomaly. She can tolerate my negativity and depressive rants without it getting her down and still likes to hang out with me despite it. But I feel that's so rare I can't expect it to work with anyone else.

Maybe you developed it later in life than me or earlier. Did you ever find a way back to your old self? What do you think changed you the most?

how can a normal human being be this bad at something that's supposed to like, innate to us or whatever? I screwed up a very, very important interview today because I'm really just that socially inept. Diagnosed in 2023 and though I've went to therapy and started gymning independently, I feel like I've fallen back to square one all over again. This is so painful.

Like once you join a hobby, and you regurlarly meet with the same people, I don't get how others just become friends. It's like a piece of the puzzle is missing. I can sometimes say something or a joke, but it's always just a quick one off interaction. Something is not clicking. All the typical advice like "Ask thoughtful questions" is terrible and if you observe people, nobody actually interacts like that. I feel like you literally just have to brute force it, say random things, feel cringe, and let your mind acquire the skill overtime. But it's like your mind blanks when you're in these settings with new people. I know it's possible because I've somehow made friends before, and it's also easier with people you have more chemistry with but those people are rare.

I feel like I've been anxious every day for six years now. I started taking Xanax a few months ago, and I feel like I need it for life. I feel like I should bring it everywhere with me. But the question is: is it dangerous to take this for years for the brain 🧠 ???

I figured this could be a good place to look for some friends since we all share social anxiety. I've been gaming more lately and in my gaming sessions I'm always hoping to find friends to play with but people don't really seem to care to talk, team up, etc... Then there's the issue of my social anxiety making it difficult to play games where talking is required/available. I'm not comfortable with voice chat. Anyone interested?

This is exasperating that I'm hesitant to initiate a conversation unless it's absolutely necessary. It's not that bad with people I know but when talking to a stranger or in any formal situations I find it difficult and barely manages to squeeze through the conversation. I've had this for long but only recently I'm paying more attention to it and I noticed that my tone of talking drastically changes and I tend to forget what I want to say; I can't be coherent.

If anyone experiences similar problems how do you pacify yourself and what helped you overcome this? Thank you!

I've always been anxious in social situations. I also grew up poor so my social fears go into hyperdrive around affluent people. There are already so many rules and expectations and norms for behavior/appearance that I don't know about around regular people. I can't even begin to understand the rules for the upper middle class and above. I am a teacher, so I've been able to happily avoid the office politics and small talk of the upwardly mobile in my professional life.

Unfortunately, I fell in love with and married my complete opposite. My wife is very career-driven and recently had a huge promotion. Her new job comes with an expectation that she will attend events outside of the work day. She would never require that I come with her to anything and always lets me off the hook if I'm too wound up, but her co-workers all bring their spouses. I love her so much and I want to support her. But I'm terrible in these situations and end up panicking about whether I shook someone's hand too hard, or stayed seated when I should have stood up, or had my hands in my pockets when someone wanted to shake hands or hug but I missed the window and now it's weird.

How do I play the role of the smiling, social spouse that she needs me to be? I am so proud of the work she has done to get to where she is and I don't want her to feel like she can't bring me to work events or be so anxious I make everything weird. Has anyone else been through this and figured it out?

Please, Please, Please, Let Me Get What I Want - THE SMITHS