The first 2 years wasn't bad. But were year 4 into SAHP life and idk if I'm going to make it. I really thought I wanted this life but it feels like it's killing me somedays. I rarely get a break from my kids and I sometimes resent them for it. I've been floating to my husband that I want to get back to work after we've had this last one. I feel sad that the 3rd will have never had that time at home but I don't know that I can do this. Today has been non-stop. 3.5 year old woke up at 4:30am and refused to go to bed. We got rid of the TV 2 years ago so that's not even an option. Even the moments where they're playing together - in the middle of it someone has to come be on me, ask me for random things like water (perfectly capable of getting water from the little jug I put out every single day cups and all), or just stand on my feet because? Then I leave the room for 2 seconds to go pee and there's a gaggle of children behind me asking me 13680274 questions. It's never quiet. I'm never not being touched or asked for something. I'm always wiping a butt. I'm always cleaning a mess. I no longer feel like a person.

I get mad when people say, "you'll miss these days" because how can I if they literally are always there? We went away for a long weekend two months ago and can honestly say I didn't miss them the entire time. Not even because they're bad kids or entirely difficult at all. I just never get time away from them. The weeks are so packed too with me trying to make sure they're getting enough enrichment even though I'm pregnant and exhausted. I feel like I'm going to keel over. Sorry for my random rant. I'm tired.

I know we’re all heated right now, but I want remind everyone of our roles to be strong, calm and patient adult influences to our kids. A lot of our friend groups have splintered into their own respective echo chambers which is really too bad, but we need to do better and remember a basic tenet we were taught as children that you catch more flies with honey than vinegar, and my god the overall hate over a disagreement in politics needs to end. We’re parents now, if you can’t make up for the friendships and ties you’ve lost over politics in the past that’s fine, but time to at least seek self improvement so we can be better role models for our kids to be tolerant of others and definitely not resorting to name calling.

Now that I’m on my soapbox: also don’t yell at refs or get in fights at sports, don’t sleep with the other parents, do not kill… haha

I live in UK and find it so hard to go out in public transport. We live in Kent and any place takes long to travel, pricey. My baby is 13 months old and so bored around mid afternoon and really looks forward for her dad to come home. It all dark and gloomy by the time she is up from her nap. Husband works 6 day a week 8am-7pm and I can understand how exhausting it is and yet he is very much involved with the baby once he is home. I don’t know how to cope up with the weather(I had experiences of SAD previous winters) along with the baby. We are almost screen free till this point, but I feel like giving up. Any ideas on how to keep my child entertained? Any help of how to fight winter blues is greatly appreciated.

Our neighbor called the other night. She had last minute tickets to see a singer who I know and enjoy listening to, and could we go? We have no help, we have no nanny or babysitter to call, and even my wife offered for me to just go alone, I declined. This is because I knew that on a school night, the stuff at home just wouldn't get done. I was making mashed potatoes and a roman chicken dish for dinner. The kids were taking baths. They're actually going to bed a bit earlier due to the time change and it getting dark earlier. My wife also squeezes in a few work emails in the evening while all this is happening. I make sure everyone has what they need, prep for the next school day as well, etc.

I can't be the only SAHP who does this. I thought about the whole thing and while I would have liked to have gone to the show, it wasn't worth it. Things would have fallen apart. If it wasn't a school night then maybe, sure.

Anyone else?

Edited to add:

This phone call offer came while we were walking home from the playground, night is falling, dinner was halfway made (by me, earlier in the day), and my wife does tend to have to catch up on a few work things throughout the evening as she will take a bit of time here or there from her work day to drop off or pick up kids with/without me as the kids like to have her just pick them up drop them off sometimes, etc.

Our (very nice) neighbor doesn’t have kids and the neighbor who offered her the tickets also doesn’t have kids and I just feel like if you have small kids and you’re the SAHP you’re in charge of the ship and bailing last minute doesn’t really work that well.

Years ago my MIL would occasionally watch our kids while my wife and I went to dinner and every single time when we got home, the apartment looked like a bomb went off. Dinner was made and no one ate it, so I had to then make them dinner that they would actually eat (late) and it was literally just damage control the second we arrived home and walked through the door. Ugh.

This thread is for:

• Sharing your art and craft ideas for doing at home
• Sharing your completed arts and crafts for inspiration
• General arts and crafts chit-chat

Please be respectful of others in the discussion.

Before kids I loved that my husband worked from home (I often did too) because we could join each other for lunch and such and we got to have snippets of conversation here and there.

Now he works a different job that's high demand (one of the reasons I am now a sahp) and since there's no commute he's basically always working and there's no separation in home and work. And I hate it. I never know how long my day is going to be with no help. Ask for something but get shut down most of the time because "I've still got work to do".

I wish he worked an office 9-5. But in today's economy I have to just be grateful his job does so well do that I'm home with my kid.

Next week he's traveling for a conference and honestly Im not sure I'll feel a lot of difference. I'm mostly jealous because he's being fed for a week and sleeping in a quiet room after a day of talking to other adults.

Not sure what I'm saying here. Maybe looking for some solidarity.

I am pregnant with baby #3 and looking for a double stroller that a toddler can fit well in with the capability of an attachment on the back for my eldest who will be 4. I have the baby jogger city select but I am not happy with it mostly because the manufacturer sent it to us with a nonfunctional break (so dangerous) that they have yet to respond to my complaint.

Bonus points if you Iive out in the country where you have to walk on the road/side of road/gravel and have success with a double stroller.

TIA

My husband and I are currently expecting our first child. I have always been what I consider a, "work hard, play hard," type. I am a workaholic but also have a lot of hobbies/high socialization needs.

My husband is already pretty fed up with my job due to its high lifestyle/stress cost. Once the baby is here, there will be little financial benefit to counter those costs. I was initially hesitant to become a SAHM because my work is such a large part of my identity. However, I am realizing that my hobbies/friend groups are also a very large part of my identity. I have standing social obligations 4/7 days a week. If I maintained those and my job I would basically never see my kid and they would always be at daycare or with a babysitter. Given the choice (and I know it screams privilege for this to be a choice), I would rather maintain my social life than my job.

Basically, I'm thinking that if I quit my job then that ensures I will be getting sufficient quality time in with my kids during the day. Therefore, the thought is that they would suffer no detriment if I left them for 3-5 hours, 4x a week for social reasons. Two days a week my husband would watch them and two days they would be with a sitter.

Neither finances nor breastfeeding are a concern here. I am aware that those concerns prevent this from being a common arrangement. With those obstacles removed does anything about this sound unreasonable? I don't have a lot of exposure to babies/children so if anything about this post makes you go, “LOL tell me you're not a parent yet without telling me,” then please let me know what that is.

In pretty desperate need of emotional first aid tricks or hacks or something that can help me get through this day.

6 weeks postpartum with baby #2 and I don't know how I'm going to get through the day anymore. I guess my baby is a decent sleeper but I have a 2 year old I have to take care of so I don't have time to get the baby to sleep in the bassinet or anywhere other than in the carrier. I've been doing carrier naps all day for weeks now and my back and some muscle in my leg is not having it anymore. But he won't sleep anywhere else so I really don't know what to do.

I hit a breaking point and was told I have moderate PPD and severe PPA. I start Zoloft as soon as the meds come in. I don't want to take it but I know I need something. Everyone says to 'ask for help' and I've been hesitant, but yesterday I reached out to every person who offered and they're all busy for days or weeks. My husband can't take off work either. Realizing no one is coming to help me is just scary. The only options I have left are my abusive parents who I haven't spoken to in a year or a random babysitter from the internet.

We haven't been out of the house on our own besides doctor appts so today I'm going to try taking them to a playground.

Any survival tips would be greatly appreciated 😅

Found out my husband voted for Trump. When we spoke of politics before he has always been left leaning, and in the past has voted blue. He believes that voting for Trump will help a lot of people financially. He says that while he knows he’s a narcissist and a bigot, he is able to separate his personality from his policies. I am anti-Trump. I gather this means we have different values, meaning the relationship isn’t sustainable. The thing is we don’t have many disagreements outside of this. We are still in love. We have a 1 year old and I am a SAHM. I have no idea what to do.

Every post just keeps saying “divorce” as an answer but how? I don’t have a village. I am the primary caregiver to our baby not only by necessity but also by choice. We already are low income to begin with just on his salary alone. So in reality I would somehow have to find a job (most likely minimum wage) and get my own place to live and hopefully find a daycare? The idea of going to work to have someone else raise our child fills me with deep sadness. This is not to shame working parents. That is just not what I wanted.

I’m so conflicted. Do I just tolerate him for the next few years? Do I leave now so as not to give our child the memory of divorce? Is there anyone who is not for Trump that stayed in their marriage despite their partner voting for him? I have no idea what to do. I feel so powerless.

*Edit: Pretty much shocked at the callousness in some of these comments. I was asking for help, not a reason for you to feel holier-than-thou and put a woman down. For some of you that may not understand, I am not saying that he’s not allowed to vote for Trump (????) or that we even need to be aligned on every single thing. The point is, as Trump is openly a racist, xenophobic, and misogynistic person, my husband’s vote shows me that we have completely different VALUES and MORAL COMPASSES. Not only am I a woman, I also happen to be half Black, and immigrated here when I was a baby. We are a raising a daughter together and have a completely different perspective on what matters. Can you comprehend why this is problematic?

I was asking for a solution. Helpful perspective. Experiences. Those of you who provided that, thank you. Those of you who used this post as an opportunity to boost your ego, I will pray for you.

To our complete surprise, we are discussing my husband being a SAHD when I go back to work after maternity leave in April. A lot of things have been happening at work that is making him want to leave the company. We will probably be in an okay financial position so that’s a plus. I’m excited about the thought bc the bond him and our son will have will be so special. Does anyone have a SAHD situation and have any advice? What’s worked for you? How long did it last? Did it put stress on your relationship at all?

But really how much are we doing in a day? Especially a morning. Today we did chocolate milk and said bye to dad (I swear the milk and everyone’s desired participation is not quick), Bible stories, made waffles, had baths for three, lunch and dishes and then it was nap time.

I see so many people getting out and getting things done but I have time for like one activity a day. If we go to the park, we’re not going to the store, generally. Are you getting a ton done? How? Haha. Someone tell me it’s not just me or how you do it otherwise!

Background: I started staying home with my son last November. He is now two years old. We ultimately made the decision as a family because it was very difficult for us to combat all of the illnesses from daycare and my work as a teacher, as well as balance homemaking with us both working full time. We were drowning and decided to make the decision on faith because we couldn’t take any more PTO for illnesses and don’t have any family around. We had faith that we would make the difference ($700 short) monthly and we did! I started a small business as a photographer which helped with the difference and my husband got a higher salary position.

He is feeling nervous about his new position. Even though I have all of the faith in the world in him, he is feeling like he won’t know enough by the end of training. I keep reminding him that it’s all new and will be challenging until he gets the hang of it.

All of a sudden, that little inkling of doubt sent me down a road of thinking about what our life would look like if it doesn’t work out. I started to feel very insecure and unsettled because my earning capacity is much less than his and wouldn’t support our household. I have a bachelor’s in statistics but no good work history and my resume is a cluttered mess.

All I want more than anything in this world is to stay home with my baby, hopefully have another baby, and homeschool. I realize that it’s hard to live off of one income in today’s world, but for those doing it— how do you feel financially secure? I feel like I need to just have faith that we will figure it out, but I can’t shake the nerves of it all. I am always the person who likes to have a plan A, B, C, and D. I even started looking into attending nursing school while caring for my son so that I can have a full time higher paying job where I can work 3 12-hour shifts a week and still stay home with him and homeschool. Anyone have any advice or guidance on how to be at peace with SAHP when you are in a period of growth and risk?

I just never want to be forced to enroll my son in daycare or school due to financial reasons. I was able to do it for the first year of his life, but now that I’m SAHP, I can’t imagine going back to that. Nothing feels more important to me than staying home with him right now. I worked up until the morning I gave birth and fought for his first year of life where he wasn’t sleeping at all, went through all these sicknesses, to finally get to a place where I could feel at peace and be there for him and now I feel like that can be taken from me overnight. I don’t know what to do to restore my peace..

I took my daughter to the park the other day, and we were eating lunch by the pond. The weather was nice and we could see some turtles and ducks. She was talking about them, telling me their colors and saying hello to them and I just thought in that moment “this is one of my favorite days”. And I thought some more and I wondered if she’ll ever remember these days the way I will, probably not because she’s 2. And it kinda just sucks, and this realization has been the worst part to me about this whole SAHP journey. This part of my life will be the most important moments for me, getting to be with her all the time and help her grow; but to her it’ll be a little fuzzy memory in the back of her mind.

Sorry if it isn’t making sense but it’s been on my mind for some time, and I wanted opinions of others in the same boat if this is a common thought. I don’t want her to look at these moments as “when mom put her life on hold to raise me” because this time has been more fulfilling than anything I ever dreamed of doing with my life.

Hey everyone! I’m curious if you are starting a side business or hustle while managing the stay-at-home life. If you've got something, even an idea going on, I'd love to hear about your experience!

What kind of business are you starting? How do you balance it with family time? Any tips for getting started (or staying motivated) would be super helpful. Thanks in advance!

How are you keeping up with everything ? Physical calendar, to do list, calendar app ?

I’ve been using notes app lol looking for an app tho to upgrade my system any recommendations?

Anyone else making breakfast for the 7th day in a row (counting this week ONLY) without your partner in sight? For all 7 days? Mind you, he works from 4am-12pm mon-fri. But even on the weekends, we don’t see him until somewhere around 10am. Kids wake up at 7am IF I’m lucky. So IM UP!! He is SUPER grouchy in the morning so I try to get the hell out of the room before he ruins my day with his crankiness. But I’m just so exhausted and BORED. I don’t mind making breakfast for my babies but where tf is my partner. I want to ENJOY making breakfast, I want to ENJOY my mornings with HIM. But he stays up late on the weekends and sleeps in every weekend.

Did we see much of him yesterday? On his day off? Nope. He was fixing his computer 80% of the day. He legit got my kids excited for Movie night and I’m not going to lie.. I was excited too. It’s been some time since we’ve seen Moana and just like that, he disappeared. Back to his office he went.

Then he wonders why I keep to myself so much. IM LEFT ALONE ALL THE TIME with two kids who want nothing and nobody but mommy.

Please no judgement. I just came here to vent and for some encouragement and words of wisdom that will get me through another week.

How are you guys holding up?

Was reviewing our budget so far for the year and thinking we have some fat to trim.

We have two kiddos, a baby and a toddler. Would love to hear what you spend each month for the kiddos and what your strategies are.

Here are our monthly spends, year to date:

Formula: $500/mo. Baby had terrible allergies and needs speciality formula but insurance won’t cover unfortunately. Can’t wait for him to turn one.

Diapers, pull ups, toiletries: $325/mo. Baby does best in Honest brand. We lean on Target deals for these items. Costco for pull ups.

Activities : $250/mo. Mostly music class for both boys, pool visits, swim lessons for toddler, zoo, farm visits, tumbling class for toddler, etc.

Clothing: $125/mo. Sturdy new shoes once a season for toddler at $60 a pop tend to drive this up. Have room to work on this. Baby will get mostly hand me downs.

Toys: $135/mo. A few larger magnetile purchases, probably too many one-off purchases. Trying to be more intentional here. Have room to work on this.

Big Item Purchases: $300/mo. This includes two convertible car seats for new second vehicle. Nuna seats but purchased with coupons. Also a wagon, baby monitor annual subscriptions, a few other smaller furniture/organization related items.

Birthdays: $125/mo. Play place rentals for 2 hours around here run about $600. Add in some basic decor, pizza, homemade cupcakes. This year the baby will get a fun but more simple family party at home. The monthly cost is our sinking fund.

Holidays/ Gifts: $100/mo. Sinking fund. We try to keep friend’s party gifts to $35ish. We do lots of holiday activities but don’t go too wild on presents.

Babysitting/ Preschool: $1000/mo. $300 per month for twice a week preschool. $700 for two date nights a month and once a week 4- hr babysitter to get errands done and get to gym.

Total: $2,860

And do you host for thanksgiving? We always host and I feel like I want fall decor up for thanksgiving but want Christmas decor up early 😫

Apologies if surveys are not allowed. I did not see it listed as a rule in the subreddit.

Link to survey: https://discover.kennedykrieger.org/jfe/form/SV_8zR4Vxsgd6JnSce

We are asking parents to complete an anonymous 10-minute survey that involves watching videos of a child at different points in behavioral treatment. You will be asked whether each video comes from before or after treatment. Each video is about 1 minute and there are approximately 8 videos (there may be fewer depending on your responses).

Thank you for your consideration!

Not really wanting any advice to be honest i’ve read a lot of these posts before and i know the advice is usually prepare savings, apply for jobs etc i just need a safe place to have a little moan and a panic!

Partner has been in this job since june we moved across the country to be able to get the position and me and toddler have only just moved back to our old town where we loved living and partner comes back at the weekends. everything was so good other than partner being gone a lot but we were sorting our finances to start being in a better place with no debt and getting some savings built back up. even talking about saving for a wedding and trying for a second baby and now in 6 weeks that might all come crashing down.

it sort of already has i mean how can we plan the future when we don’t know what will happen in 6 weeks. its more frustrating because theres nothing i can do either i can’t go to his job and do it for him. i just have to trust that hes got this handled and he doesn’t even seem worried.

im just wishing that we were older, wiser and he had picked a career he actually really enjoys. im doing part time uni at the moment and dealing with a very all over the place toddler i also can’t get a job that will pay enough to cover childcare or the cost of a nanny or childminder and even if i could our toddler would not manage.

i was so excited to start planning fun things for the future. beyond that as well we only just moved we have been living here for a month! we cannot afford to move again, toddler is barely coping now let alone if we upend him again for the 3rd time in 6 months.

how do you cope with the anxiety of job security and finances while having no control over it! does anyone have any reassuring stories of their partners who struggled in corporate life at first and then succeeded? my partner is a plumber by trade but struggled to find opportunities and can’t afford a van or tools to go out by himself.

please no comments about us not being married. we have been together since we were 17. we are planning to get married we just didn’t want to have a rushed wedding when i got pregnant. i understand the legal implications but under uk law we are common law married and our welfare system is decent.

Not even sure if this is the correct sub, but I’ll give it a shot.

Throughout our parenting journey (nearing 3 years), it’s become clear that my partner had a (totally un-communicated) expectation or desire for me to be a SAHM. I stayed home for the 1st year of our LO’s life, and then went back part-time until very recently, when I extended my work hours a bit more.

In many, many fights over these years, he’s pointed out that he wished I would not have gone back to work (we could afford it), how he, in my shoes, would have stayed home (this, we could not afford), etc.

In the rare occasion when he needs to stay with LO while I work, he undermines my job in front of her by saying things on a clearly demeaning tone “let’s do x, y z, because mummy has her meeting”, etc. 

Meanwhile, I’m always the one taking leave when LO is sick, to cover school holidays, etc.

He grew up with a working mum so I have no idea where all this is coming from. But he does manage to make me feel a bit guilty, and a lot more pissed, and on top of that I think it sends a very bad message to our daughter. 

How do you deal with that?

After 6.5 years as a SAHM I’ve officially reentered the workforce. It all happened a bit quicker than planned and I’m not sure exactly how I feel about it. I have 2 children (6 and 3) my eldest is in school and my youngest in preschool. We are in the UK so my youngest will start school next September when he is 4. The plan was for me to go back to work then however a job came up which I was worried about missing out on so I decided to apply and I got it!

I’m pleased and am looking forward to earning some money again. It’s also great hours as it’s in a school so I’ll be able to do drop off and pick ups as normal and have school holidays off with them rather than worrying about holiday clubs etc. So much to be thankful about and I do think I made the right decision but I’m sad. Not so much about starting work again but that my precious days at home with young children is over. I have so many wonderful memories and I know there’s still plenty to come in but I definitely feel like I’m grieving a little bit.

I can’t even bring myself to unsubscribe from this sub because I don’t want it to feel real. I know the days can be really hard and the SAHP life definitely isn’t all sunshine and rainbows but enjoy it as much as you can whilst you have it. And don’t let anyone tell you it’s lazy and wrong to not go back to work! You’re all doing an amazing job.

I'm a stay at home mom that isn't married. My child's father works out of state traveling for 85% of the year so we decided when I got pregnant that I would stay home. I take care of my kids and our home all by myself. I have a child from a previous marriage that I share joint custody with and he pays me $200 in child support a month. That's the only income I have. Should I have to give up my child support money to my partner or should I be saving it as back up in case we break up since we aren't married and nothing is in my name and I have no current job. I don't want to be stuck with no home or car or income if we break up. But my partner is always yelling at me because I am not giving him my income and he doesn't think I should be saving it.

This thread is for:

• Sharing your art and craft ideas for doing at home
• Sharing your completed arts and crafts for inspiration
• General arts and crafts chit-chat

Please be respectful of others in the discussion.

I’m a SAHM working part time for the next few months. I’m considering hiring someone to help out with my 8 month old and 2.5 year old during the week so I have a reliable window to work, book appointments, work out, and get a little breather. I’m thinking 4-6 hours per week. Curious if anyone has input on whether a 4-hour chunk on one day or two 3-hour chunks on two days would be more beneficial?

How can I be better?

My son's father, my boyfriend of almost 5 years, does so much. I feel like I could do more. I honestly don't even know why I'm writing this. I feel like I'm doing all I can, but am I really? I feel, not useless, but like not living up to what I am able to do. I don't know. He works full time + overtime He goes to the laundry mat every Sunday, we don't have a washer and dryer. He goes grocery shopping He handles bills He comes home and plays with our son after work while make dinner He helps with the dishes He helps with cleaning up after the kiddo He takes care of the car He mostly takes care of our dog when he is home(feeds him, walks him)

I clean I cook I keep the kiddo alive & happy & clean I make the grocery list

If I didn't clean or something, I'll apologize & he says "I do not care. The kid is happy & healthy." If I don't feel like making dinner he will bring something home. If I wanna take a nap or leave the house or just need space, he doesnt hesitate to say it's okay.

I just feel like I should be doing more. Maybe it's just our situation. We share a one car, so he knows it's easier to go do the laundry & grocery shop by himself rather than me going with our son. Our son gets extremely car sick as well.

I feel inadequate. By no means am I complaining about all he does. I just feel like I could be doing more.

TIL that my state gives you a two year recusal from jury duty if you’re a non-working parent/primary caregiver for a young child. no clue how working parents manage jury duty!

My father's 79th birthday is today and I can't help but feel sad that my 1,3, and 5 year old sons only know him now. He was such a delightful, funny, wonderful dad. He's had multiple strokes and his mind and voice just arent all there. I want my kids to know their grandpa and I'm not doing enough to encourage a relationship...but it all feels performative and contrived. "Say hi to grandpa!" "Give a cookie to grandpa" "Take a picture with grandpa". My dad literally doesnt even say hello to them much less ask them how they are or play or read a book. I'm so frustrated and sad. How do I connect to him? Any others sandwiched between generations?