My husband keeps commenting on how everyone else we know as first time parents seem to have it easier than us. I am exhausted a lot and he helps me out even during the workday with the baby.

I mentioned how many parents only see their babies for a few hours a day and weekends because their babies go to daycare. But we have the baby home 24/7, so it can get more tiring.

Does this make sense or am I just being a Debbie Downer?

Edit: I don’t want to compare but my husband keeps talking about all the free time another new dad has. That new dad is constantly asking him to do things but he’s usually helping me out with the baby in the evenings because I’ve been alone with her all day. I don’t know how else to make sense of it for my husband.

Also, I don’t know how to explain to my friends that I don’t have the physical or mental capacity to go out. I’m just exhausted and usually pass out by the end of the day. My mom friends have 2-3 young kids and full time jobs. Somehow I’m still more tired than them.

Hey parents!!! I am deciding whether to enroll my kids to a local gymnastics program, such as the LIttle Gym or My Gym. I heard a lot of good things about them, but what are the not so good things?? Anyone open to share what you dislike about the program or these places? Or something that you think it can improve on?

So, I'm a SAHM. My kids are 4 and 7 and they're both in school. My sister is visiting for Christmas with her 1 year old and asked if I'd be willing to watch my nephew for three days so she can arrive earlier. My immediate instinct was NOPE since my husband is going to be out of town and she and her partner would probably be staying with us too. I told her I'd be happy to watch him for a day or two if she can get her in-laws to take care of him one of the other days. My kids have to be picked up and there's a lot of running around in the afternoon that involves a lot of time in the car.

I want to be clear that I love my sister, we have a good relationship and she's not going to guilt me or make me feel bad. I just feel a bit ill thinking of taking on a walking 1 year old while being the only person to take care of the house, make meals, etc. I really like having a bit of time to myself during to day to clean and work on my writing and art. At the same time, she only comes out once a year and this is time with my nephew. Ugh. Last year I took care of him for a day and helped take care of him the next day because her in-laws were a little bit helpless and I enjoyed it but 3 days feels like a lot.

I just want to add that they are staying for some like 3 weeks in the area so it's not like it's my only opportunity to see my nephew.

Has anyone tried nannying as extra income? I'm done with having babies, but feel I could use my love and experience to provide childcare. In my head, I'd nanny like one child at a time in my own home for extra income. (For instance, there's always a pregnant teacher at my kids' school trying to figure out childcare that allows them summers and breaks off.) But then I think back to those baby years with my littles and wonder if I would immediately regret being tied down again.

I don't really know what I'm asking. Is anyone currently doing this? Done it in the past? How did it go?

This is something I’m struggling with at the moment and would love some advice.

My 1yr (14months) has started to walk and she now wants to join in and play in the park. Which I have no worries about, I don’t mind if she gets dirty or anything. I love watching her explore the environment. My problem is, is that my focus needs to be 100% on my 1yr as she’s so little and still learning to walk confidently. But if I do that then Its difficult for me to watch and play with my 3yr old and I feel so guilty

So what do you do in these situations? My 3yr old is quite independent and happy to play by herself or with other kids but she still sometimes needs my help. safety wise I’m finding it so hard to be in two places at once

I'd also love to hear what your routine is like, what time of day you workout etc.

So I’m officially out of the depths of having a newborn and a preschooler and I’m trying to keep on top of all of the things that need to get done to keep my house functional. I thankfully have someone come once a week to clean the house (she mostly focuses on kitchen and bathroom)..

But how are you all tackling laundry, dishes, floors, tidying and other things? Just winging it? Or do you have a system in place? I feel like I’m just putting out fires all of the time and a new one pops up.

UPDATE: I’ve never received so much helpful and positive feedback. And on Reddit?! Thank you guys SO MUCH. I will happily take the advice of understanding a 2yo is harder for some to manage, especially day after day. The chores alone get monotonous and most of all I will take the kids or keep them busy to give my wife the space to tidy up. We need this kind of community in real life. You guys are great.

We have 2 kids 2 and 6. Ones in school and the other is fun and low maintenance but energetic. My spouse manages to make it to the store for beer quite often, during the day. When pressed about what they do during the day, it’s the “I won’t dignify your mistrust with a response”.

I spend my Saturdays doing the laundry that piled up during the week. Cleaning the kitchen overrun with dishes and scattered items. Vacuum the house and strip the bed sheets. Yard work, trash, maintenance, air filters, etc etc etc.

They cook. Half the time. Leave dishes all the time. And it’s either a three hour chicken or 30 minute Mac and cheese.

I know I believe this situation is unfair to me. I can do a weeks worth of chores and handle both kids while doing it, in a day. I’m looking for a sahp that can tell me I’m wrong, or maybe someone can tell me how to handle this.

Thank you!

Hi! My partner is gone for about a week on a work trip and I’m alone with our very active 6m old. He takes solid naps, and has a few wake ups during the night but I still have found myself totally exhausted by the end of the day (and it’s only the second day by myself 😅). Normally my partner will take the munchin for a bit when he gets home so I can get a moment of time by myself.

All that to say, any tips? I’m not a big napper, but does that help?

I quit my job to be a SAHM 3 years ago. For almost a decade I've gone with my husband to his parents vacation house because that's where he liked to go on vacation. It's in the middle of nowhere and he hunts and fishes there and I basically hide in my bedroom without a lock while my MIL asks why I'm hiding (she's mean to me) and comes in constantly without knocking. I shared a bathroom with his parents and grandparents for probably 50 weekends and a few weeks over the course of our relationship. Every vacation we've ever taken has been catered to him, whether it's ice fishing, hiking somewhere, etc. I'm not really pro or anti fishing but it's certainly not what I'd choose to do if I was alone, and I do it because I see he enjoys it and I had the opportunity to make him happy so I did.

Now we have kids and I want to take them to Disney World this winter. I am not a Disney adult by any means, I just enjoy the convenience of the trip and warm weather and how much there is for kids to do. I also feel really safe there as opposed to visiting a major city or town. My older son is almost 3 and we took him when he was 1 and he loved it. I know he's still little but it's just a great trip, we enjoyed the resort and pools and shows and everything. I also love getting to some warm weather when it's cold at home.

My husband is refusing. He is 'compramising' by saying he'll go to a place that's a 6 hour drive away, but it's even colder than where we live and I just don't want to do it. Bundling everyone up multiple times/day, driving in snow and ice, making an entire itinerary for a place I've never been and don't even want to go to. He was even open to going somewhere like the Caribbean so price and flights aren't the issue.

I feel so sad because I know my sons will only want to go to Disney for a few years. My husband already takes our sons fishing and hiking and I can see that's where their interests will be. I love that for them, but for now while they're little I'd love to do these trips for me to enjoy them.

I've also just had a horrible year between losing my whole family and getting over PPD and am on the up and up now.

If I let it go I feel I'll resent my husband. I've already given my life to our family and I think 5 days of the entire year for him to go on a family vacation isn't too much to ask.

To add to it, I also haven't done the things I usually enjoy like going to the city on the weekend to the Christmas shops or museums (it's an hour away), the ocean beach (40 mins away), anything like that, because he doesn't like the city. I know I got myself in this situation but I don't know what to do about it.

Any football spouses out there?!

I'm sure this topic is applicable to many of you with spouses who work very demanding jobs where you solo parent for a majority of the year. I am a SAHM to an 18month old and dad is a D1 college football coach. This is our first real season where our son is truly getting a taste of the football family lifestyle. On top of being naturally attached to me as his mom and main caregiver, I am noticing that now as the season is coming to a close and dad is home more, things are becoming harder.

My son seems to be clinging to me even harder and refusing to let dad in on any of the routines. I am sure he is confused about the change that his dad was once working 16-20hour days to being home when he wakes up and goes to bed (which is rare in season).

It is making me not enjoy the time he is home and makes me feel that it's easier doing it solo (which is unfair to us all).

Do the kids ever adjust? Do you ever adjust? Any tips? Solidarity?

Help 😩

Wtf did your mornings look like. I've fallen into the habit of letting tot watch TV in mornings but it's adding 30 min to an hour of screen time bc I need the break later in the day too. Am I the only one scrambling to remember how to live and routine since getting pregnant and having a new baby?! I mean all the baby does is sleep... why is it so hard to function like before?! Am I incapable or is it normal to barely be surviving these first few weeks? I miss our routine and feel so guilty and incapable

I really hate how when you're burned out as a SAHP you don't want to spend time with the little people you love the most.

And then the guilt hits.

This thread is for:

• Sharing your art and craft ideas for doing at home
• Sharing your completed arts and crafts for inspiration
• General arts and crafts chit-chat

Please be respectful of others in the discussion.

I’m struggling to pinpoint the anxiety I feel with family holidays and travel- wondering if anyone feels similarly?

Recently had a second child (now have a 2.5 year old and a 3 month old). Thanksgiving and Xmas involve traveling to see family, and all staying together in one house. Very close with both families, and everyone gets along (I know very very lucky) but it’s A LOT for me for some reason. Many cousins, aunts, uncles, grandparents. I find myself getting super anxious. It almost feels like my brain is on overdrive the whole time trying to keep track of the kids schedules and needs while also mentally attending to everything else going on in my surroundings. Also worrying about illness spreading (pretty much inevitable but ugh). I worry about getting distracted by the socializing etc and missing a feed or missing that my toddler is unattended or something. I just want to go home basically the second we get anywhere, even though the family time is so great and so needed!

I think I also struggle bc I’m definitely the default parent (side effect of SAHP life) and I feel like I’m doing my regular job with all this other stuff going on. Husband is v helpful but ultimately I feel the coordination and mental aspects are on me. And it’s not like we are doing that much! Basically just hanging out, going on walks… idk why I’m so overwhelmed and I’m feeling really down on myself about it.

I am weird and introverted by nature. The pandemic definitely did not help matters. I really badly want some mom friends but I am soooo bad at human interaction. I struggle to initiate conversation, say random awkward things because I'm nervous, overthink every little thing afterwards and just generally suck at the whole process. I've managed to take the first steps twice, both times with a mom at the park. But both times I didnt know what to text then let too much time pass and felt awkward reaching out. This time I'd really like to do better. I recently went on a preschool fieldtrip with my oldest. One of his classmates and friends has a mom who I've met in passing at pickup/drop-off but never really talked with much. Though I've spoken to the dad several times and the child even more. I spoke to her several times throughout the day (I usually just quietly follow my kid around and don't interact with the adults much) and the 4 of us all sat together for lunch. Before we left i asked to exchange numbers to get the kids together. I know very little about her as most of our conversation revolved around the kids, but she's sweet and quiet (like me) and I'd really like to try to make a friend. How do I not screw this up? It feels like dating again, and I wasn't very good at that either (as my husband can attest)

Tldr: I'm socially awkward and don't know how to make friends. Please help

I (33f) am the bread winner of the family and my husband (39m) has become a stay at home parent to our 7 month old son. I’m getting frustrated with him because he doesn’t seem to be putting in any effort towards our son’s development. He keeps him alive, but doesn’t get on the ground to play with him, he doesn’t read books to him, he doesn’t talk to him much (feedings and changes are silent every time), he doesn’t do any BLW/purees (only gives his bottles), he’s gets very aggravated when our son makes a mess (if he throws up or makes a mess in the high chair for meals), he doesn’t take on walks and every time I get home from working my shift he’s sitting on the couch on his phone while the baby either plays in his play pen or stares at him in his bouncer. I recently suggested he start taking him to the local library for free weekly story time which he got annoyed at because “he doesn’t even understand books”.

Before this, he worked at a large company and was consistently recognized as one of the top performers no matter what job he did (he had 6 promotions). He was fired from that job after whistleblowing on his director and I told him to take a few months before finding a new job since he used to work 14hours/day, 6 days a week. That was 4 years ago. He never got another job for various semi-reasons (he threw out his back, he wanted to start day trading and when I got pregnant he said there was no point because he’d quit to be a stay at home dad within the year).

He used to work so hard and be the best at what he does, but he doesn’t seem to put much effort into raising our child. I asked him if he felt unhappy or unfulfilled being a sahd and he said it’s not the most exciting job but that it’s the most important one he’ll have in his life. But he’s not acting like it. How can I get that fire back in him?

I have a daughter who is 3 in a month, and a son who is 16 months.

I would love to take them both to the swimming pools during the day, both my kids are big water babies and love going swimming. I am just afraid of doing it on my own.

We would be staying in the very shallow toddler pool and there are always lifeguards around too.

Is this a silly idea at this age? Would you just go with your kids or wait until they’re both older?

I want to be safe here so if it’s a bad idea I’ll just wait awhile before going on my own, and we can go over the weekends when I have dad available.

Our town’s nonprofit family center, where parents and their children (usually five and under) visit for free with Monday - Friday in the mornings for play, snacks, and Storytime, closed its doors due to finances. We have our local library which is amazing, but this was such an incredible resource, especially for SAHPs.

I am considering developing a plan to create a similar nonprofit, but honestly I am unfamiliar with the nonprofit sector and fundraising.

Have any of you created, or had a strong presence, in a similar program in your community; and if you did, can you please explain some of what it takes to run this type of program?

And for those who do not organize, but actively participate in similar programs; what do you love about your program? What do you think would make your program better

Piggy banks, step stools, pillow cases, monogrammed purses, etc…which are a hit and which are a miss?

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My husband makes the money and manages the finances...or so I thought. I had a $50 transaction declined today and he admitted we're carrying balances from month to month on our credit cards. He travels for work and has reimbursements he hasn't filed for. We're paying interest on his corporate travel!

I'm just so fucking frustrated. I feel like if I dont manage things (the budget in particular) it doesn't get done at all. My husband is super smart and kind and well intentioned but my god this is not OK. We were planning to buy our first house in the Spring and I'm questioning whether we can regular house payments.

Hi guys, I am running out of ideas of what to do with my kids and where to take my kids to during the day. Currently, I take a walk with my kid every day and go to a neighborhood playground. I've also taken my kids to baby gyms but never liked the experience as it was so dirty and smelly.. Not a good experience..

Any suggestions from y'all? I wish there's a better place in my neighborhood to take my kids to but the options seem very limited.. Anyone else feels the same?

I live in the Bay Area

2 kids and husband are out of the house at about 0730. Kid one is in school until 15:30 and walks home, stap picks up kid 2 from kindergarten at 14:00 about 1 kilometer away. No car. No other kids.

We live in a relatively small apartment, no real workshop or hobby space.

Husband gets home about 17:00. He cleans up after dinner and puts the kids to bed every night. Usually done between 20:30-21:00

Also, how much cleaning, cooking, vacation planning, weekend planning etc...does the non-sah parent do?

This is just a vent because my feelings are hurt.

My mom lives 3 hours away in the home where I grew up. She announced during her last visit here that she’s going to sell her house and downsize and buy a smaller house within 10-20 minutes of me so she can see her grandkids more often. She said she’d love to take them one day a week so I can do errands and get some alone time. She said family is the most important thing to her now and she doesn’t want to miss them being little.

I was so excited at the prospect of having consistent help. I have a toddler and a newborn and some days I feel like I’m drowning, even though I love being a SAHM.

I texted her the other day and asked how the house hunt was going, and she nonchalantly said “oh, I should’ve told you, I changed my mind”

She said she didn’t want to leave her friends and everything she has established there. My husband just rolled his eyes and said he’s not surprised at all. He said she’s always so indecisive, he knew she’d change her mind.

We have been married for 12 years. 3 children, 10, 8, and 2… we have had a paid person (on/off ) that helps with house chores but we lost the latest one( as she got pregnant )on October and haven’t been able to find a new helper so close to December and the holidays. Whenever we have this situation when we don’t have paid help, my marriage “struggles”. I’m really frustrated as I have 2 jobs to try to maintain our way of living, Im the sole provider. My wife gets very angry and emotional and I feel her very unhappy. I get it, its a lot of work with 3 kids. She complains that when she asks me to do something I “make faces” but I have never rejected doing whatever she asks me to. I told her I just cant force myself to smile and be with my 2 yr old 3 hrs straight while I know I have work things to do (part time teacher, so checking exams, preparing class, etc) I have been getting up at 4 -5 am to cope with my workload. I feel Im just allowed to work, never relax and I never get to share my work chores with anyone so I got that 100% and then have to do house chores as well. Am I in the wrong? AITA? She is frustrated and saying things like maybe I made a bad decision deciding to be a SAHM, that she fells bad depending 100% on me and that she feels controlled and things like that, while I have never negated her any expense (she needs to consult me because expenses are so high and I just need to see if the expense is possible) and last week she got a botox treatment for example, and those comments never happen when we have the paid help. I love her and my family but Im really frustrated our marriage depends on having paid help to take care of house chores. Im placing another ad in facebook right now to find help as even with that she cannot help me.

My 8 yo is undiagnosed yet, there are some symptoms of ADHD. My problem is I feel low on energy all the time. It's gotten to the point that I am able to do day to day activities but with a lot of agonizing. It feels like I am in a boot camp and I have to push myself to get through the day because my energy reserve is so so low. I got my physical done and seem to be ok mostly except for high cholesterol and BP for which I am on medication. But the thing is I still feel low energy wise. It's not like my child stays up all night but I am unable to fix a routine for her and when I am sleepy, she's awake and by the time I make her sleep, I lose my sleep due to many interruptions through the night. I am a single parent and cosleep with my child. I dunno how to fix this situation and feel energetic again.

We are in a major cooking rut and have been ordering way too much takeout lately.

What are your favorite things to prep for dinner? And what do you as a SAHP eat for lunch regularly?

Nothing like being sick with Covid all week, like horribly sick to the point of begging your spouse for the first time ever to take a day or half day off (he has plenty of pto) to help you rest or be with the kids. But he tells you no, because the point of you staying home is so no one takes a sick day. Ok, fine.. so you struggle and push through all week waiting for the weekend where you might get a break or rest then. Well, the Friday comes around and guess who suddenly now has Covid and you’re dealing with middle of the night wake ups and the kids by yourself because HE now feels terrible and wants to rest. I just want a weekend or some resemblance of a break too 😭

Hi everyone!

Just wondering what everyone’s go to meals are for when they wanna make dinner beforehand in a slow cooker, pressure cooker or low stovetop/oven cooking. Preferably dairy free as LO is dairy intolerant through my breast milk

Dinner time seems to be our witching hour. 4pm-7pm and he is very spicy when it comes time for dinner to be prepared. MIL or husband usually take over cooking or taking care of him because he is inconsolable unless it’s me with him 😅

I wanted to combat this by prepping the night before or morning of so I can tend to baby properly while still eating at home. Eating out and door dashing is expensive

Any tips or any meals are appreciated! Even if they are not dairy free I can find a way to make them so (hopefully) lol

So far I love making soups, chicken tinga, meatloaf, stews