Im a mom of a 2 year old, currently working on trying for a second, and transitioning to be a SAHM in June. Am I crazy for giving up my job for this?

I've been working for 8 years and have a pretty successful and high level government job. I have the potential to continue to be successful and make my way further up the chain. However, I hate my job and am having a hard time managing it while being the primary parent for drop off, pick up, dinner, sick days etc. Its been impossible to balance being a parent, working, doing chores, being social, being healthy, etc all st the same time.

Were in a good place financially where my husband can support us. I just feel like I may be making a mistake by giving up future success but I also want to be happy and stay home with my daughter and future kiddos.

Any SAHP who navigated a similar situation, I'd love to hear your advice and how your transition to being a SAHP went. TIA!

Hello! I’m mom to a 7 year old girl and a 13-month-old boy, and I’m fairly new to the SAHM game. I worked full time for almost 7 years after having kids, and only stopped when my son was 8 months old.

I’ve got a great routine down at this point for when my daughter is at school and my husband at work. In the mornings, the little guy and I are out of the house either running errands, going for walks, or doing activities like the park or baby music class or social events. In the afternoon he sleeps while I do house chores and then we pick up his sister from school.

My trouble is late afternoon, and soon, summer. We live on a great kid friendly street, so usually after school my daughter is playing outside or hopping between neighbors houses. She doesn’t need entertaining really, but it does mean her brother and I are trapped at home, so things get a lot more boring for me (and him).

With summer approaching, I really want to think of things to do with both kids together for at least part of the day, but the age gap makes it tricky. She isn’t going to put up with long walks while I listen to a podcast and she is too old for any baby/toddler/preschool library groups or classes.

Anyone with more experience and advice on how to do things together this summer? For a little more context, my son can walk (badly) and takes one 2-3hr nap in the afternoon. I live in a very hot climate so outside is basically a no-go after 10am or so in the summer.

Thanks!

My husband and I have a 2 year old daughter. She's a sweetheart and really smart, but she is a toddler. So there are tantrums and bad days and days when I feel burnt out because I've been playing hide and seek all day, read the same story to her 10 times, I'm touched out, and I just wanna drink a cup of coffee, hot, from start to finish with zero interruptions.

That being said, when my daughter was born I got help from my mom for the first month so he was kind of on the sidelines. After that, he was kinda helpful, I mean we alternated nights for her nighttime routine but that was about it. I did every feeding and diaper change and I let it go on for too long. I always felt guilty for asking him to do things in the middle of the night or after he got back from work because I felt like he works so hard he must be exhausted.

I'm now coming to the realization that he was supposed to offer help regardless of whether I asked or not, because you know, his HER FATHER. I mean it's not like he ever offered and I said no or I micromanaged how he parented, he just, never helped unless I asked.

Fast forward to our baby now being a 2 year old and he still will not help. I still do the bathing, feeding, playing, any waking up at night, any time she gets hurt, I see to her when she's sick and he just, exists, around her. He does work, or hobbies, around her. He'll watch TV around her. He never WANTS to do things with her, even when I ask him to please try and include her.

He doesn't completely ignore her, but he might as well, he'll engage with her when she talks to him but never says yes to playing with her when she asks, he'll give her the occasional cup of water but never prepare a meal or snack for her. He'll yell for me from across the house saying she needs to go potty, but will never take her himself. He's been at home off of work for the last week and his presence has been nothing more than annoying to me. He won't do anything with or for his daughter except smile and talk to her. It's like he's a distant relative or something.

I'm done. I'm done asking, I'm done trying to get him to help by telling my daughter "go ask your daddy" and then hearing her cry 10 seconds later because he was busy on his phone and "didn't hear her". I know that I'm done, I've checked out mentally and emotionally from him, but I don't know what this means for my marriage. I don't know where to go from here. We had a fight I lost it, i shoved him away screaming at him for not helping and just sitting there. I know I had postpartum rage, but now that rage is directed towards him entirely. I hate him for making me do this all on my own. I love our daughter so much but hate that he made me think he'd be there to help and then failed to show up in every way.

I don't know what's the next step. What do I do now?

I don’t know why I can’t put the school dates in my iCal with an alert for each one. I am an idiot. My wife wanted to take the kids to school before beginning her work day. There’s no school. We were traveling all last week and just got home last night after a long day of actually smooth travel and well behaved kids and somehow I can’t get it together to know the kids are still off from school Monday and Tuesday.

Does any other mom struggle with not knowing what to eat or what the heck to get at the grocery store!?!? Or is it just me?… I have 4 kids and work full time so trying to figure out what to eat and when to grocery shop is almost impossible.

So Question: Are there any apps or services you can suggest that helps with meal planning, shopping and just finding something new? Or is it just not worth the money? please help.

my husband and I have been married for 5 years and we have a 9 month old daughter who we adore. we have always had a good relationship and although we argue sometimes like every couple, we are truly each others best friends.

I’m a SAHM and my husband works from home. but to sum up the kind of person my husband is well, he is all about actions. he does things. he cleans the house, he makes her bottles, he folds laundry, he helps me do bath time and takes over baby duty when he gets off work. he plays with her over the weekend and he loves cuddling and watching shows together with me. he’s kind and goofy and overall just very hands on dad in so many ways. I’m so grateful.

tonight we got into an argument (I’m due for my period next week so probably due to PMS). basically it led to me saying that I felt unappreciated and that he’s never once told me I was a good mom or thanked me for taking care of our daughter. after we yelled and got frustrated with each other he admitted he doesn’t really do words of affirmations. he does believe i’m a good mom, but he’s more of an acts of service and that i shouldn’t get so hung up on what he doesn’t say, especially when he does so many other things, like what I mentioned above. but to me, my feelings are hurt because I feel like he doesn’t see the mental and physical load it takes to be a stay at home mom and doesn’t give me the words of affirmation I need to keep going sometimes. he works from home but if you aren’t the one doing it all day, it might come off pretty chill, which it’s very much not.

ugh i don’t know. I do feel thankful for everything he does, and I know a lot of men wouldn’t do half the things he does if their wife was staying home. so i feel like it hard to be upset with him over the lack of affirmations.

what would you do in this situation?

SAHM of 2 young children. When I talk about being open to having 3, many people say we’ll be outnumbered. Am I alone in the thought that I’m already outnumbered when I’m with my girls all day (and some nights)? Or am I missing something? I’d love to know how other SAHPs feel about taking the jump from 2 to 3 children. I’m not shaming anyone for their choices—just genuinely curious!

My husband and I have been seriously discussing the possibility that I quit my job to stay home. We have a 2.5 yo and 6m old. One of the (many) things I’m grappling with re this decision is my 2.5 yo’s school. He’s been in full time daycare at a small Montessori that we LOVE. He goes from 9:30-5 and if I didn’t work, I’d be picking him up at 4 (so that we get home at 4:30 and not 5:30, which seems much more manageable for dinner/evening routines). It’s not an option that we take him out of this school because i’m staying home.

My 6m old is currently home with a nanny and I would of course not plan to keep the nanny (full time). Our plan was always to put her in school around 1 year (my son started at 18 months). 1 year always felt a little soon but that’s just what made sense for us. Now that I’m considering staying home, I wouldn’t start her until 18 months at least.

My question for you all is - what would you guys do in this situation? My husband and I feel pretty strongly that this school has been so amazing for our son, and of course want our daughter to have the same benefits too. But it feels weird to quit my job just to inevitable have both kids in full time school…should I just plan to keep her home longer, and maybe there are other benefits to that she will have that my son doesn’t? We can financially afford me to stay home and have them both at this school. Any experiences/perspectives/thoughts welcome!

I mean physically. When you go out alone with your kids, do you carry anything to protect yourself? Taser, pepper spray, etc.? I live in FL, I feel like that’s self explanatory lol

Sorry if this is a bit of a ramble. I have an 18month old baby and am about a month away from having baby 2. I looooove being a sahm so much, and I am so glad that I am not having to work. But I also have been feeling so lost. I have realised that while I am busy with my baby and feel like I have no time for anything, I also feel bored and unstimulated. Pre-kids I was a successful business owner, exercised frequently, looked after myself, would read books, was a dreamer and a go-getter. Now I don’t have time, and when I do i genuinely don’t know what to do with it. I’m in a weird inbetween phase too, because I am so heavily pregnant and feel like I’m too tired to start anything (not that I know what I would do), I barely have the energy to vacuum. I scroll on my phone ALOT and the only thing I really do out of sheer joy is read my books.

This “lost” feeling is now also causing issues in my marriage. I think I want connection and to feel some sense of importance, so I project on my poor hubby. I get resentful when he doesn’t pay me enough attention and I am needy to be around. I’m also no where near as bubbly and fun as I used to be, I’m so tired and lost. Advice?

Every single thing I do takes so many steps.

Just making a cup of coffee for myself can take up to an hour some mornings:

Clean out the old coffee grounds, take something out of the kid’s mouth.

Grab new coffee grounds, let the dogs out.

Pour said coffee grounds, feed the cat.

Heat up the water, pour a bowl of cereal for each kid.

Change poopy diapers and heat up the water again when it goes cold from sitting.

Pour the water, run out after the dogs because they’re going after the mailman.

Grab milk and creamer out of the fridge, change another poopy diaper (youngest always does 2).

Throw poopy diaper out but the trashcan is full, so take that out and replace the bag.

Forget what I was doing and stand there staring at nothing until I’m woken back up by another incident (wild card).

Pour milk and creamer, clean up spilled cereal bowl.

Reheat lukewarm coffee in microwave and enjoy :)

Most days we have a routine we loosely follow but some days we fudge the morning routine and then the rest of the day is off… it drives me bonkers. Not the routine necessarily but the way it affects my 3 year olds mood and I guess affects me. He gets more impulsive and I just want to rot, it’s a bad combination lol. Does anyone else have this happen? Fudge the morning routine and it just sets a mediocre mood for the day?

So a little bit of an exaggeration but seriously -

My husband and I got into a little argument last night about something unrelated to SAHP but still something that made me feel so unimportant and undervalued.

Down the rabbit hole of anger I started to consider how recently we put our 2yo in an in home daycare temporarily because I just had a baby and need some extra help. We pay this lady $150 a week and she watches him from 7:30-3. I started thinking why are we paying this lady $150 when, when I was watching him full time I was constantly worried about finances, finding ways to save money, depriving myself of things I would have liked to have and on top of taking care of the kids I'm supposed to cook and clean too? Why am I not worth at LEAST $150 a week to have as spending money.

Really, my husband doesn't care what I do or don't get done during the day as long as me and the kids are happy but I'm talking about the rest of society. If my house is a mess it's my fault for not "doing my job". My mom has made remarks about if I could clean like I'm supposed to then my husband wouldn't have so much on his plate, I had someone come to my house and made a remark why aren't the dishes in the dishwasher from last night!? Like it's my job to load the dishwasher (It's my husband's duty to load the dishwasher cuz he doesn't like how I do it)

Granted I do try my best to get stuff done around the house and I do try to cook most meals. I'm ALWAYS doing the best I can but why is my job a SAHM less valuable than someone at a daycare. Why do we pay people to solely watch our kids but expect SAHP to do everything in the house (my mom even said I should take care of the finances). Raising a 2yo and a five week old is a full time job in and of itself

I'm curious to see how other have doing baby proofing. Other than socket outlets cover how rigorous were you with Baby proofing your home. Because I for one did nothing other than socket covers.

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My kids are 4 & 2. It’s spring time & I am sooo antsy to paint their rooms!

The problem is, my husband works allll the frickin time (9a-7p on weekdays, 10a-2p on weekends)… when he’s not working, we try to do family time/fun outings/etc.

We generally don’t have family around that can help… and I have a tricky relationship with the grandparents that CAN help…

Anyway - any ideas? Tips from experience?

I fold all the laundry, wipe down the kitchen, put away all the toys (I have an infant so she's not doing this herself). Some days it feels so futile but my husband wfh and me and baby are home all the time so our house is LIVED IN. Which is fine. But I need it to be clean before I go to bed. Husband thinks I should use this as time to relax but I just CAN'T at the thought of starting the next day in the same mess we left yesterday.

I coordinated a weekend away starting tomorrow with my sister, who lives 5 hours from me. I compromised on the place, since she didn’t want to go where I wanted originally. This is my only break that I’ve had since 2019 when my stepkids moved in full time. Their mom doesn’t visit them, and my husband isn’t even legally or biologically their father, so it’s just hard and complicated. One has intellectual disabilities and the other has some mild behavioral problems. Not that I blame her, her mom basically just up and vanished besides phone calls when the was 4.

I’m currently 6 months pregnant, and have 4 kids total at home, the youngest best being 2 and 3 years old. I’m so tired and just want a break. I made these plans with my sister while communicating that this was mostly just so I could get some time away and a break. I’m being climbed on as I type this. This is also the only weekend that my husband isn’t out of town for the next month, he requested tomorrow off.

Now my sister doesn’t want to go. There’s a chance of rain so we might not be able to swim. She already has a backup plan of something she wants to do in our nearby city, but it’s the opposite direction of our booked airbnb. I do have travel insurance, so I’m pretty sure I can cancel, but I just wanted a couple of nights where I wasn’t woken up by a baby monitor and could sleep in past 6am uninterrupted. I also don’t want to go to the expo that she wants to go to, because I’m 6 months pregnant with my third child and walking hurts.

I’m just upset now. She doesn’t have kids and works a government job, so she gets a decent amount of time off while I’m “working” 24/7. I don’t really need advice, I just need to vent a little about how much I was looking forward to this and am disappointed. I still very much love my sister and am not really mad at her at all. Sorry if this is jumbled and makes no sense

I dislike it SO much. I already cook all the food, three times a day, make the list and shop for it. I also have to think of all the meals.

I also have a small time gap I can go without children, but I also need that time gap to study for school.

Also it really is hard when my husband always gets upset about the amount of money I spend. I try to make and stick to my list, but I always forget things, essential things. Last time I forgot butter. Even at home when I make my list I forget things.

I usually just get meat, dairy, eggs, pet supplies and produce. How often do you guys ship for produce? I go once a week, but my husband thinks that's too much. But it goes bad or gets eaten quickly.

Sometimes I'll buy a bag of chips. I don't buy sweets or any type of drinks.

I'm ranting. I'm irritable today. I really really have come to dislike grocery shop and put it off until there is nothing left in the house.

I'm not sure how to change this course.

I have a 9 month old and she just gets way more excited, is happier, and more engaged around my husband, her dad, who works all day. I’m with her all day and she seems to just like…not want to connect or interact with me or have the same reactions to me that she does to him? I did all of her nap training which was a long, tough process for both of us and I’m scared it ruined her bond to me.

EDIT: for typos

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I need some advice on how to feel better and do better. I am currently a stay at home mom for my 2 year old girl. I love being able to be at home with her but I also feel like I'm not doing a good job. I have been on and of trying to get on a good day schedule and a good cleaning schedule, I just can't get myself to do it. It's like evey month I have a week were I am super productive and I feel good about myself and then 2 weeks were I struggle to get out of bed or of the couch. This is not only affecting how I feel about myself but also affecting my marriage and it's just not fair to my husband and child that I struggle to get myself together. And for context my husband is military so I am not around family to help me with this. Any advice is greatly appreciated.

Does any other SAHP really struggle with mornings? I have 4 children, all under 6, and I get them all ready for preschool and their activities by myself each morning. The insanity of their needs / demands drains my soul. I just needed to share because I feel like my children are going to eat me alive and I will not survive.

I’m a SAHP of a 1.5 year old son after a successful exit from a great career. I don’t miss working, and love being home with my son. But I am curious how you make the days feel special. There was a lot of travel and dinners out at nice restaurants with my job. I really enjoyed breaking up the monotony of work/life. How do you add some of that in as a SAHP? Lunches out? Weekend trips? Curious what has worked for others.

Hello! I have a 4 year old and 16 month old. Up until now I’ve had my own career. However, my husband is finishing fellowship this year and will begin his career as a physician. With his demanding schedule we’ve deciding I will at least try staying home for a while. Since both of my kids have been in daycare until now, they have received curriculum through daycare. Now that they’ll be home I want to be sure to have educational time with them. Any recommendations on stay at home parent curriculum? My 4 year old will go to part time preschool. We also will try to venture out to the library, parks, etc as often as we can. Any other tips on making this a smooth transition are also welcome :)

I want to leave. I have nowhere to go. I have no income, no money saved. No job, no childcare, nothing. The last thing I want is to be here. I am the example people use when they argue against a woman becoming a SAHM. I just keep telling myself to wait until my child is in school 4 years from now, and then I’ll start a small job and putting money back. I don’t see it ever working anymore. I feel hopeless. I LIVE for my daughter. She is my entire world. And I feel like I am failing her because I can’t get her out of here. We aren’t in danger but it’s miserable

As the primary caregiver for our 2-year-old and our lively 6-month-old puppy, I've noticed my partner's increasing frustration lately. From snapping at the puppy for a minor spill to pleading with our toddler, his patience seems stretched thin. While I intervene when necessary, I'm concerned about his well-being.

How can I offer him support? He works Monday to Friday from 8-5, usually wrapping up by 3 pm. I carve out time for myself with Pilates sessions four times a week, while he opts for late-night video games. Despite this, I'm always there to accommodate his plans with friends or personal hobbies (making music). I handle the majority of household chores, but he's willing to help when asked.

I've attempted to discuss his short temper, but he's hesitant to open up. He seems to forget our toddler's age and unrealistic expectations only fuel his frustration. By Saturday afternoon, he's visibly drained, and minor inconveniences escalate.

How can I best support him through this challenging period?

I have gotten to the point where I am so overworked and exhausted and sleep deprived that I am resenting other people around me - neighbors, just people who happen to be there and I thought about it and finally figured out why. Everyone has it easier. Everyone either doesn’t have kids or they have kids and they have help so they can work a normal job or they’re the SAHP who also has hired or free help. Everyone has more help.

Everyone has it easier. I commented to my wife when we arrived at our building today that is the bag the neighbor sends out to have their laundry done because clearly they can’t begin to be bothered doing their own laundry. This is the same neighbor who left a package for UPS to pickup in our lobby for two whole weeks. She and her fiancé couldn’t begin to be bothered to actually drop off the box at the UPS store. My wife then commented the guy who doesn’t work is complaining about this.

All I do is work. I just never get paid. I’m always exhausted. I’m burned out. I can’t believe the level that other people can’t even be bothered to do their own chores and errands and then my wife doesn’t even get it. No one gets it. The plight of the SAHP.

I do not know what to do. I have been messing up every single day. I am exhausted. I never get enough rest. For context we live in NYC. My wife was supposed to go to the Statue of Liberty with our daughter on Wednesday; that is what my wife told me. I bought the tickets on November 1st. I made sure they were all set with directions and how to get there and they were on time and everything and it turned out the tickets were for Tuesday instead. I don’t know how I didn’t catch that. It was always my wife’s outing with our daughter so I also don’t know why my wife didn’t just have it in her iCal with an alert set. But I have to keep track of everything.

My wife was saying how the bathroom sink wasn’t draining properly. I fixed it and ran the water and stupidly plugged the drain to let the water build up a bit so I could be sure the water would all drain out and I left the bathroom and got distracted by my 3 y/o and doing other stuff and I flooded the bathroom. I almost had a heart attack.

My 3 y/o has swim lessons on Fridays after school but we come home first for lunch and my wife had told me that in the afternoon we were going on an outing (nearby) after picking up our 8 y/o from school. I was so tired I was almost falling asleep on the sofa with my 3 y/o while my wife was working from home on work calls in the other room. After it was too late, I realized I had completely missed taking my 3 y/o to her swim lesson. I was just focused on her and lunch and getting ready for this outing with my wife. But I checked and I didn’t even have her swim lesson on my iCal with an alert and this happened once before.

TL, DR: I cannot keep up. I’m the stay at home dad to and 8/5/3. I keep messing up and making dumb mistakes. I hate myself for this.

My daughter will be 2 later this year. But she’s pretty smart in comparison to other children I’ve known at her age (that’s not me bragging, just giving you the reason to want to start this) and so I want to start a school-like system in our home after her birthday once I see where she stands in terms of development. So, is there anything that you guys followed that wasn’t an actual school but just a curriculum that helped you?

I just had my 2nd 4 days ago. Overall, I’m feeling pretty good besides the lack of sleep and daily evening anxiety moments. I sometimes get into my head with overthinking some things with the baby too. I had a pretty good routine going with my toddler before and am craving to return back to our normal. The weather is also starting to get nicer so I’m excited to get outside.

I’d love to hear any (positive) personal experiences of those that returned to their daily life with their second baby. How soon did you start going out/doing your regular things? How did it work with baby?