And do you host for thanksgiving? We always host and I feel like I want fall decor up for thanksgiving but want Christmas decor up early 😫

Apologies if surveys are not allowed. I did not see it listed as a rule in the subreddit.

Link to survey: https://discover.kennedykrieger.org/jfe/form/SV_8zR4Vxsgd6JnSce

We are asking parents to complete an anonymous 10-minute survey that involves watching videos of a child at different points in behavioral treatment. You will be asked whether each video comes from before or after treatment. Each video is about 1 minute and there are approximately 8 videos (there may be fewer depending on your responses).

Thank you for your consideration!

Hi everyone. Just looking for some advice or guidance. I'll put it in bullets so its easier to read

• Me and my husband both worked crappy entry level jobs and I had our daughter in 2016 when I was 23.
• Husband kept working shit jobs and I stayed at home while we were barely getting by, homeschooled during covid when she would have been supposed to start school.
• Throughout the last 8 years my husband has been laid off from every single job he's had and ends up back at square one. I know it's my fault for staying home and not getting educated in some way and trying to depend on someone who doesn't make a lot of money.
• Daughter went to school last year and I got a couple crap jobs here and there but nothing really worked out. Husband finally got a decent job, entry level still, but union and paid the most he's ever made in his life. We were living pretty comfortably. I finally found a part time job 6 months ago that was paying more than I've made in the last 8 years as well.
• Last month me and my husband both lost our jobs within a day of each other and now we're both unemployed. Husband plans to live off employment insurance which will 100% not be enough to get by and I've been applying for jobs like crazy with nothing but rejection. Probably applied to over 150 jobs at this point. I'm in between knowing if I got into trades school or not right now.

So basically I feel like a huge piece of shit because I feel like I've spent the last 8 years doing absolutely nothing with my life and on paper, on my resume, I'm basically 20 years old again with no education and no skills ON PAPER even though I've gained so many skills the last 8 years. I'm just on the cusp of getting accepted into trades school for Welding (I find out in a couple weeks if I've been accepted) but we're just struggling so bad right now. The thought of both of us being unemployed, about to have no car, I feel like such a failure. Everyone keeps telling me "Oh but you did so much, your daughter is so smart and you did the most important job!" But what about me and my ability to make money and have a career, be able to support myself and not be a loser? I thought I was going to be a stay at home mom and homemaker for the foreseeable future but watching my husband become less and less reliable over the years forced me to roll up my sleeves and realize this is not okay and not sustainable. He straight up says he doesn't want a career and has no ambition. Does anyone have any advice on how to navigate something like this, or even just similar experience? Thanks...

Not really wanting any advice to be honest i’ve read a lot of these posts before and i know the advice is usually prepare savings, apply for jobs etc i just need a safe place to have a little moan and a panic!

Partner has been in this job since june we moved across the country to be able to get the position and me and toddler have only just moved back to our old town where we loved living and partner comes back at the weekends. everything was so good other than partner being gone a lot but we were sorting our finances to start being in a better place with no debt and getting some savings built back up. even talking about saving for a wedding and trying for a second baby and now in 6 weeks that might all come crashing down.

it sort of already has i mean how can we plan the future when we don’t know what will happen in 6 weeks. its more frustrating because theres nothing i can do either i can’t go to his job and do it for him. i just have to trust that hes got this handled and he doesn’t even seem worried.

im just wishing that we were older, wiser and he had picked a career he actually really enjoys. im doing part time uni at the moment and dealing with a very all over the place toddler i also can’t get a job that will pay enough to cover childcare or the cost of a nanny or childminder and even if i could our toddler would not manage.

i was so excited to start planning fun things for the future. beyond that as well we only just moved we have been living here for a month! we cannot afford to move again, toddler is barely coping now let alone if we upend him again for the 3rd time in 6 months.

how do you cope with the anxiety of job security and finances while having no control over it! does anyone have any reassuring stories of their partners who struggled in corporate life at first and then succeeded? my partner is a plumber by trade but struggled to find opportunities and can’t afford a van or tools to go out by himself.

please no comments about us not being married. we have been together since we were 17. we are planning to get married we just didn’t want to have a rushed wedding when i got pregnant. i understand the legal implications but under uk law we are common law married and our welfare system is decent.

Not even sure if this is the correct sub, but I’ll give it a shot.

Throughout our parenting journey (nearing 3 years), it’s become clear that my partner had a (totally un-communicated) expectation or desire for me to be a SAHM. I stayed home for the 1st year of our LO’s life, and then went back part-time until very recently, when I extended my work hours a bit more.

In many, many fights over these years, he’s pointed out that he wished I would not have gone back to work (we could afford it), how he, in my shoes, would have stayed home (this, we could not afford), etc.

In the rare occasion when he needs to stay with LO while I work, he undermines my job in front of her by saying things on a clearly demeaning tone “let’s do x, y z, because mummy has her meeting”, etc. 

Meanwhile, I’m always the one taking leave when LO is sick, to cover school holidays, etc.

He grew up with a working mum so I have no idea where all this is coming from. But he does manage to make me feel a bit guilty, and a lot more pissed, and on top of that I think it sends a very bad message to our daughter. 

How do you deal with that?

After 6.5 years as a SAHM I’ve officially reentered the workforce. It all happened a bit quicker than planned and I’m not sure exactly how I feel about it. I have 2 children (6 and 3) my eldest is in school and my youngest in preschool. We are in the UK so my youngest will start school next September when he is 4. The plan was for me to go back to work then however a job came up which I was worried about missing out on so I decided to apply and I got it!

I’m pleased and am looking forward to earning some money again. It’s also great hours as it’s in a school so I’ll be able to do drop off and pick ups as normal and have school holidays off with them rather than worrying about holiday clubs etc. So much to be thankful about and I do think I made the right decision but I’m sad. Not so much about starting work again but that my precious days at home with young children is over. I have so many wonderful memories and I know there’s still plenty to come in but I definitely feel like I’m grieving a little bit.

I can’t even bring myself to unsubscribe from this sub because I don’t want it to feel real. I know the days can be really hard and the SAHP life definitely isn’t all sunshine and rainbows but enjoy it as much as you can whilst you have it. And don’t let anyone tell you it’s lazy and wrong to not go back to work! You’re all doing an amazing job.

I'm a stay at home mom that isn't married. My child's father works out of state traveling for 85% of the year so we decided when I got pregnant that I would stay home. I take care of my kids and our home all by myself. I have a child from a previous marriage that I share joint custody with and he pays me $200 in child support a month. That's the only income I have. Should I have to give up my child support money to my partner or should I be saving it as back up in case we break up since we aren't married and nothing is in my name and I have no current job. I don't want to be stuck with no home or car or income if we break up. But my partner is always yelling at me because I am not giving him my income and he doesn't think I should be saving it.

This thread is for:

• Sharing your art and craft ideas for doing at home
• Sharing your completed arts and crafts for inspiration
• General arts and crafts chit-chat

Please be respectful of others in the discussion.

I’m a SAHM working part time for the next few months. I’m considering hiring someone to help out with my 8 month old and 2.5 year old during the week so I have a reliable window to work, book appointments, work out, and get a little breather. I’m thinking 4-6 hours per week. Curious if anyone has input on whether a 4-hour chunk on one day or two 3-hour chunks on two days would be more beneficial?

How can I be better?

My son's father, my boyfriend of almost 5 years, does so much. I feel like I could do more. I honestly don't even know why I'm writing this. I feel like I'm doing all I can, but am I really? I feel, not useless, but like not living up to what I am able to do. I don't know. He works full time + overtime He goes to the laundry mat every Sunday, we don't have a washer and dryer. He goes grocery shopping He handles bills He comes home and plays with our son after work while make dinner He helps with the dishes He helps with cleaning up after the kiddo He takes care of the car He mostly takes care of our dog when he is home(feeds him, walks him)

I clean I cook I keep the kiddo alive & happy & clean I make the grocery list

If I didn't clean or something, I'll apologize & he says "I do not care. The kid is happy & healthy." If I don't feel like making dinner he will bring something home. If I wanna take a nap or leave the house or just need space, he doesnt hesitate to say it's okay.

I just feel like I should be doing more. Maybe it's just our situation. We share a one car, so he knows it's easier to go do the laundry & grocery shop by himself rather than me going with our son. Our son gets extremely car sick as well.

I feel inadequate. By no means am I complaining about all he does. I just feel like I could be doing more.

TIL that my state gives you a two year recusal from jury duty if you’re a non-working parent/primary caregiver for a young child. no clue how working parents manage jury duty!

My father's 79th birthday is today and I can't help but feel sad that my 1,3, and 5 year old sons only know him now. He was such a delightful, funny, wonderful dad. He's had multiple strokes and his mind and voice just arent all there. I want my kids to know their grandpa and I'm not doing enough to encourage a relationship...but it all feels performative and contrived. "Say hi to grandpa!" "Give a cookie to grandpa" "Take a picture with grandpa". My dad literally doesnt even say hello to them much less ask them how they are or play or read a book. I'm so frustrated and sad. How do I connect to him? Any others sandwiched between generations?

I'm fairly new to SAHP life and I was recently seized with anxiety over the notion that I should be responsible for teaching my child a bunch of things before they enter Kindergarten. For context, my toddler is about 2.5 years old. He knows his shapes and colours, the alphabet, can count to 20, recite his name and recently memorized and can dial the phone numbers of several family members and so on. Things he's not good at yet tend to be related to fine/gross motor skills (e.g., dressing/undressing himself, threading string through small objects, neat self-feeding), mostly because he refuses to practise with us and I struggle with knowing how to teach in that area. Anyway, I assumed (incorrectly or not) that daycare kids have all that and more covered, either directly by the program they attend or would learn indirectly through their peers.

I raised this concern with my husband and he said his only expectation while I'm at home with him is to ensure he's well-fed, safe, clean and happy, and if I identify anything that needs to be taught and I might not know how to go about it (e.g., potty training) I can discuss with him and come up with a plan together. That was reassuring, yet I am not fully convinced I even know whether I can identify all the important things.

I think I'm putting a lot of pressure on myself to fulfil this role without really understanding what that "should" involve and worry about putting my child at a disadvantage by school-age. I also struggle with expectations because my understanding is kids in and around the same age can have such a vast range of skills, interests and knowledge, so it's hard for me to evaluate and determine what I definitely need to be accountable for educating my child on and what are just "nice to haves" if that makes sense.

Any advice, insight and experiences would be appreciated. Thank you!

Hi, I hope it is okay for me to post here. I am a researcher and am recruiting 13-16 year olds via their parents for a survey about gaming, gambling and live-streaming. If you have children aged 13-16 years old that live in the UK and are fluent English speakers, and are interested in them taking part, please follow the link for more information https://swanseachhs.eu.qualtrics.com/jfe/form/SV_9v5aR4p2e0f4ymW

My in laws always have a passive aggressive tone, asking me if I’ve been busy and about my work hours and they look like they hate me when they ask it.

Work wants me for more hours (I only work 8 or sometimes 16 hours a week) but I can’t ask my mom to watch my 2 year old more often because she has a long drive. So everyone at work also seems to think I don’t do enough.

Just feeling down. Nothing I do is enough. I just want to be respected but everyone acts like being at home with children is free time.

I don’t know if it comes from a place from caring- we are doing just fine financially and don’t have a ton of debt and own our house. Maybe it’s guilt because they sent their kids to daycare and worked full time. what’s the deal?

I am thinking about getting a divorce but I have no job and no degree and I don’t want to leave because I know I won’t get custody of our son. I feel trapped and I was wondering if anyone had words of wisdom or experience.

Edit context: We have been married 7 years. Lately I feel as though I am constantly being attacked and blamed for things that are out of my control and I admit I have my faults and some criticisms are valid. But for example our son (almost 3) hits someone and it’s my fault because I am the sahp so I should of taught him to not do that by now or my partner will spill water or something and it’s my fault somehow. When they are gone on business trips I find myself stressed the whole time about what they will find wrong when they get back. I am not happy when they get back I am stressed. I have no idea where I would go if we separated, I could go work at the grocery store and tell them I am going to stay in the basement I guess.

Edit: I want to point out that I am the dad. Usually I avoid telling people that because there is a slight stigma about it but it feels important to point out in this case.

Like pointing you to resources you might not be aware of (prenatal classes at hospital, local parent groups, classes, books, online resources/apps/websites…), etc?

And stuff that could be overlooked by your doctors like make sure your prenatal vitamin has DHA, give baby vitamin D drops and this brand is best, take prenatal classes, etc.

Were you grateful you had them close by to share their parenting knowledge and wisdom or not so much?

In addition to advice, did they share hand-me-downs too? Thanks.

View Poll

Ok so how long of a break do you need to feel refreshed? Is it possible to be able to be productive during your break and still feel recharged after?

Ive needed a break for months so my husband took my toddler and baby out this morning. They were gone for two hours. I used the time to switch my clothes from summer to winter which was tedious since I’ve been pregnant or nursing for 3+ years. I got half way through before they got home and had to toss the remainder of clothes in my closet.

The thing is I almost feel worse now. I have a half done project and got thrown back into parenting mode but also feel ungrateful for the little break I did have. Do little breaks work for anyone? How long do you need to feel refreshed? Is being productive during your break an issue!

Trying to figure out if this is normal or not. My only goes to preschool 3x a week for 7 hrs a day and I am still burnt out. I think I am over complicating my time off, but also it’s the time I clean and run errands and before I know it the time is done and I’m not rested at all. Is this normal? I feel like I’m supposed to be this amazing do it all mom with all of this time off but before I know it it’s pick up time and my energy is zapped. I’ve had this break for about two months now but for 3 years before that it was all me for so long. Only is 3.5, is anyone else struggling with the weight of the entire responsibility of running the house? I’m so so so sick of thinking about meals I could scream.

This thread is for:

• Sharing your art and craft ideas for doing at home
• Sharing your completed arts and crafts for inspiration
• General arts and crafts chit-chat

Please be respectful of others in the discussion.

My husband got laid off two months ago, and he’s been applying and interviewing a ton and lots of rejections. He also cannot drive due to vision disability. He’s in finance in tech. we have two kids, ages 1 and 4.

I’m panicking because I think I need to go back to work but not sure!!! I’ve been a SAHM for several years now. I’m not sure how to juggle working plus child care plus husband needs to still really focus on the job search plus housework plus grocery and cooking. I hope if I go back I can handle a full time job, but I’m scared I won’t be able to.

Does anyone have any advice?! I am looking for real tangible solutions to get me back to work if I must.

Is working at night and weekends the only option (to make up for lost time during the week)? Am I going to get burned out fast?

Yes we are looking into benefits but it’s not enough to cover the mortgage.

If I go back to work maybe we could save a little bit after child care expenses.

I just feel really overwhelmed because I’m already busy as a SAHM and I just don’t know how I’m going to fit a full time job in. My husband can’t see well and I just don’t think he can watch them all day, he might go crazy - plus he needs to focus on the job search and spend time interviewing etc.

I just recently quit my job due to a very toxic environment. My partner and I are in a good place financially where I don’t need to be working. We just bought a new house and moved in this week so my time will be spent organizing that. But parents who had a career turned stay at home parent, how was that transition? My kids are 6 and 4 so I’ll have a lot of time to myself. I stayed at home with them when my oldest was born-3 and I had extremely severe PPD that entire time so I’m terrified I’ll fall into another depression with all the time on my hands/ no structure. (I am medicated now and do therapy biweekly so I’m already in a better place than I was!) but what does everyone’s routine look like? I’m a hard worker but not a great self starter without an already established structure so I’m struggling. Any advice appreciated!

God, this phrase makes me want to slam my head in the car door. Whoever tells me my house doesn’t have to be perfect has clearly never met me, because my house has never been perfect a day in my life (including pre-parenthood).

I’m not aiming for “perfect.” I’m aiming for “livable” and “not disgusting,” which I am also not accomplishing.

I really wanted to be a “no/low screen time” family but it’s just not happening. I defo got stuck in a rut for a bit and we watched too many movies while staying at home. Then I finally started to break out of it and we were going out every day and staying busy… and now we’re all sick and the tv has been on for 2 days straight.

I know i am an attentive and engaged parent and I do lots of activities w my kids. I could always be more present and I’m working on that. But I’m really harsh in myself when we watch tv. I really start feeling like I’m failing my kids and I imagine myself years from now wishing I could go back in time and be more present w my young kids instead of wasting all this time in front of the tv.

Anyone else feel like this ? Where does this come from!? I basically was raised in front of the tv and computer growing up and my parents didn’t think twice about it

I was a children’s librarian before my daughter was born. I planned to go back to work, but due to some birth-related trauma, I felt I needed to stay home at least for a little while. And it turns out I LOVE it and think I’m doing really well at it. Not to toot my own horn too much, but she’s learning so much and getting so many rich experiences each day with me.

However, this can’t go on financially. We just can’t afford higher living costs, and a couple of unexpected BIG expenses have left us with several more bills to pay each month that are dwindling our savings to cover. I already work an evening-shift job 24 hours a week to help bridge the gap. (I guess my husband could work on the nights I don’t, but then he really would never see our kid.)

Going back to work, and adding the expense of daycare, really only makes ends meet with maybe a tiny bit extra to spare. That knowledge makes me want to stay at home, BUT I also don’t want to end up in credit card debt. I do like my career choice, but I love being with my daughter.

For those who have to transition back to work or have done so previously, how did you mentally and emotionally handle the change?

I’ve been living far from my family for 11 years now, and the loneliness is really starting to weigh on me. My partner tries to understand, but I just feel like no one truly gets how isolating it can be. It’s like I don’t have anyone to talk to who really understands this—everyone says they do, but unless you’ve lived it, I’m not sure you can.

I’ve been depressed for a while now, and it makes me feel like I’m letting my kids down. I try to put on a happy face, but it’s exhausting, and most of the time, it doesn’t even feel like it helps. People tell me to get a hobby or distract myself, but honestly, human connection is everything. You can have all the distractions in the world, but if you’re feeling disconnected, it’s hard to find any joy.

I’ve tried reaching out to my older sisters, but they’re all really close with each other, and I’ve always felt a little left out because I’m the youngest. They told me the best way to “get over it” is, ironically, to spend more time with friends and family.

Anyway, just needed to vent. Thanks for listening.

It is becoming apparent that it may soon be time for me to turn in my SAHP badge and return to the workforce. But I've been doing this for the last four years and my husband and I have gotten somewhat entrenched in our respective roles. I know that I will not be able to handle the housework/admin work/mental load that I currently manage take on and will have to delegate some of it to him. (Our child will be going to preschool for the first time, so we won't be splitting childcare, but we will be adding dropoffs/pickups)

Does anyone have advice for this transition time?

My wife of 5+ years has been a sahm for almost as long as we've been married. On top of this being a physically and emotionally draining 24/7/365 job with no pay or benefits, she's also added to her resume the daunting task of homeschooling. She's somehow able to keep our oldest child engaged in his lessons, usually in a manner that lends itself to his enjoyment and leaves him with a feeling of accomplishment. The level of patience and compassion she holds while managing to keep not only me, but a 3yo, a 5yo, and 2 dogs happy and loved will never cease to amaze me. There are times where I can come home from work and be overwhelmed and overstimulated in the first 10 minutes. Her job is not only exponentially harder than mine, but significantly more important. So I wanted to say that she's amazing, and I truly appreciate everything she does.