/r/parentsofmultiples

Photograph via snooOG

A place for parents of twins, triplets, and beyond to discuss the unique challenges of raising and parenting multiples.

A place for parents of twins, triplets, and beyond to discuss the unique challenges of parenting multiples.


Rules:

  1. Please don't be a jerk. If you can't keep things respectful, happy, and uplifting, feel free to post elsewhere.

  2. Pictures and videos are a-okay! So long as they are YOUR pictures and videos. Please don't claim stuff that isn't yours. That's weird. And kind of creepy. Also, please use Imgur or Reddit for photos/gifs, Gfycat for large gifs, and Youtube or vidme for videos.

  3. No memes or other low effort content is permitted.

  4. No blog posts. This includes linking to them anywhere. Please contact prior to posting anything that could in any way be considered spam or self promotion - we often say yes, but we'd like to have a look first. NO SURVEYS! Please do not message the mods about posting surveys - they are not permitted.

  5. Medical questions about pregnancy or your children are best directed towards a medical professional. Discussing medical related experiences is fine.

  6. No bots/bot-like behavior or novelty accounts.


Other Parenting Reddits:

Parenting - General parenting

NICUParents - For parents of NICU babies

Daddit - For Dads

Mommit - For Moms

ParentingInBulk - Support For Parents of Large Families

Twins - For Twins and Parents of Twins

Single Parents - For Single Moms & Dads

SAHP - For Stay at Home Parents

Buying For Baby- Devoted to buying gear


Multiples Resources:

Twinstuff - Articles, advice, & forums

The Twinning Podcast - A podcast about life with twins

The Australian Multiple Birth Association - Resources for our friends down under

/r/parentsofmultiples

36,407 Subscribers

3

Anyone didn’t keep their twins on a schedule?

Our twins are almost 7 weeks, born at 38 weeks, exclusively formula fed.

One of our twins started fussing when we give her the bottle (crying, turning her head away from the bottle, spitting out the milk). The other twin still feeds okay, but we’ve seen similar behaviour already with her.

I asked my lactation consultant about it and turns out we are probably overfeeding our twins. I feel this is partly because we try so hard to keep them on the same schedule. We almost always have to wake one twin up to eat.

We were advised to feed both on demand for the next 2 days and give smaller bottles (appearantly we were giving too much for their weight) and try to fix her “hunger” like that. And basically not keep them on the same schedule.

We will obviously follow the advice but I’m a bit worried about what this will mean in terms of sleep. 😅 My in-laws are here for another week to help us, but after that I will be alone with them during the day. So if I don’t sleep a lot at night I will probably also not be able to sleep during the day, when my in-laws are gone.

Anyone went through something similar? What helped for you? TIA.

7 Comments
2024/11/09
10:49 UTC

1

Babies fall asleep during breastfeeding.

Please advise.

Babies are 2 weeks old today and they constantly fall asleep at the boob so they aren't getting in food properly :-(

What should I do? Will this stop one day? Please help 🥹🤦🏻‍♀️

3 Comments
2024/11/09
08:42 UTC

3

Potty training twin boys

I have twin boys that are almost 2 and potty training is looming over us! Lol! I started listening to the “oh crap” audiobook and it was alittle overwhelming so I’m slowly making my way through it. Even though in the book she talks about the concept of “being ready” isn’t really a thing, I feel like one of my twins is more ready than the other. Twin A likes to follow us into the bathroom and will sit on the potty when we are using the toilet. He also occasionally wakes up from naps with clean diapers and on 2 occasions his diaper was clean from overnight! He is really starting to communicate now and I could see potentially starting potty training with him.

Twin B doesn’t seem as “ready” and doesn’t show much interest but the main thing is that he is a late talker (we are seeing an OT and a SLP) so we are starting to sign more, but communication is still limited. With twin B we’ve had some clean diapers after naps, but never overnight.

I’d love to hear your stories about potty training twin boys specifically! I’m curious how old were they you did it? Did you do both at once or one at a time? Anything that worked well or you would have done differently? I had a friend wait till closer to 4, but I think that might have been pushing it a bit.

Also any other books or recommendations you found helpful would be great!

Thanks everyone!

4 Comments
2024/11/09
08:01 UTC

3

Advice for preemie twins who cry every feeding?

My twins are 8 weeks old (5 adjusted) and they both sob throughout every single feeding. One of them has reflux (spitting up, reflux burps) and I don't think the other does, but they both scream every other minute with their formula bottles and I'm not sure what to do. We usually take it as an indication that they need to be burped but even after we've gotten some solid burps out they'll still cry. Our pediatrician gave us famotidine to try but after a month we're not seeing any real difference.

Our pediatrician doesn't want to switch them to a different formula yet since they're preemies and need to gain weight so we're still on Neosure for a little while. Anyone else deal with this with their babies?

1 Comment
2024/11/08
18:32 UTC

11

Our feel like our marriage has soured

It happened. I never thought I would see the day where I get the "it feels like we're just flatmates" comment from my husband. We are first time parents to beautiful boy and girl twins. We are 7 weeks in and the sleep deprivation is a killer. My husband has just finished his first full week back at work which has been hard for him. Night feeds are hard because we usually have a small argument about something. We don't have time for each other anymore, it's all about the twins. No sex life, no cuddling, no dates, nothing. He said to me this morning "I don't know how my life went from exciting, to so mundane." I offered for me to stay at his mother's place once or twice a week so he can get a full night sleep, his response was "I don't give a f*** what you do anymore." And walked away from me. He's not even interested in counseling.

I feel so heartbroken. I thought we would get through all of this together. Now it just feels like it's all ruined. I don't want my marriage to break. I don't know what to do 💔 I feel like my heart has been ripped out of my chest.

12 Comments
2024/11/08
18:53 UTC

3

Light bleeding at 10w

The other night I woke up to pee as per usual being 10 weeks pregnant with twins. I did have some light crampy feelings in the left side of my uterus, but nothing crazy and it stopped when I stood up. When I wiped I was surprised to see pink on the toilet paper. Horrified as I turned the lights on, it looked like there was blood mixed with the monistat that I inserted vaginally a few hours earlier (which could be important here?) It was gone with a few wipes and when I awoke a few hours later to pee again, there was nothing when I wiped.

I ended up calling my OB the next morning and she said that as long as it wasn’t a lot of heavy, dark bleeding and/or bad cramping, that she wasn’t too concerned. She said I could have possibly just irritated my cervix with the applicator or something.

I am already an incredibly anxious person so this took my pregnancy anxiety to the next level as I have read up on vanishing twins etc. My 12 week scan feels so far away (13 days to go). Anyone have any experience with this?

I should mention that I did have an ultrasound at 9w5d and both babies were measuring exactly as they should be, both with a great heart rate in their own sacs and ultrasound tech thinks they’ll have their own placentas.

Thank you in advance!! - A worried FTM

2 Comments
2024/11/08
19:06 UTC

2

Vbac vs schedule c-section

Hi,

I am a mom of 2 year old mono di twins...and we are expecting our third baby earlier next year. I delivered my twins via c section at 35 weeks due to preeclampsia. I had a uterine atony and needed 6 blood transfusions due to that... it was scary and I still deal with some trauma from that. Now for this baby I am given the option of a vbac or a scheduled c section. I am leaning towards a c section just to have a better sense of control but also to have childcare figured out while my husband and I are in the hospital. I am super worried about having another uterine atony but my dr has told me that since this is a single baby chances of this happening again decrease drastically.

I wanted to see if anyone had any insight into vbac vs a scheduled c section... also did having a scheduled c section give you some relief knowing you were able to plan out childcare before you were admitted.

1 Comment
2024/11/08
19:16 UTC

2

Parents of twins

How much more challenging are twins during the newborn and toddler phase?

My sister and her husband are going to have twins in December. She doesn't have family/friend support in the area and will rely on paid help. She believes it will be easy because you will get through the tough phases at the same time.

4 Comments
2024/11/08
19:28 UTC

3

Managing the anxiety of mo/di twins - just found out

Hi all, I found out I was carrying twins at my early ultrasound but had been told they were di/di. I was already anxious for the next 10w ultrasound but was told today that after looking at the images again, they appear to be mo/di. The dr was open about the risks and I’m left feeling even more anxious and uncertain about what the future holds. We were overjoyed when we first found out but I’m having trouble making sense of how big the risks actually are. I guess I am just looking for some positivity because I know a lot of people here have gone through the same. Thanks, everyone

9 Comments
2024/11/08
19:43 UTC

2

Infant twins - wagon vs. double stroller - dirt roads

We're expecting twins next spring. We live on a hilly dirt road and walk frequently (~2 miles/day) and want to continue doing so with the twins, which makes stroller choices difficult as it needs to be able to handle 4-season dirt roads.

We're thinking of either getting the Veer All Terrain cruiser, probably with the nap system which turns the wagon into a bassinet and would allow for the babies to lie down before they can sit on their own, or a Thule Urban Glide 3 with the newborn inserts, which allows for newborns in the normal seats before they can sit on their own. Both have car seat attachments, but they both only can take 1 car seat, not two. We'll probably end up getting a cheap snap n go stroller that takes two car seats for when we need to go into town, but figure that 85%+ of our use will be on dirt roads.

Is it crazy to get a wagon as our main stroller? I've heard a lot of people say the wagons are way more useful once they're toddlers, but the bassinet system in the wagon seems better than the newborn insert option in the Thule. I feel like at some point we'll probably end up getting both, so I guess the question is what's the best option if we only do one of them during the newborn stage?

3 Comments
2024/11/08
21:04 UTC

13

Are you guys eating or showering or what???

When I have help at home (my parents and husband) — I can shower and eat. Lol. But if I have no one at home with me, I have no time to even drink water. It’s insanity. Pretty sure I went the last two days without water. I chugged a couple of coffees down. I’m still alive though. Girls are 3 months… I know it could be worse. I guess I’m just frustrated. And stink. Rant over.

13 Comments
2024/11/08
23:18 UTC

4

32 weekers

What did your 32 weekers weigh when born?

15 Comments
2024/11/09
02:55 UTC

1

Mini Cribs vs. Full Size Crib

We are wanting to buy cribs soon, especially with Black Friday around the corner. We have a 3 bedroom house, 2 of the rooms are taken so the twins will be sharing a room until we move (5ish year plan on that). The room is I guess medium sized? Like if I had to estimate about 100-130sqft. Trying to save on upfront costs since we know these babies are going to come with lots of hidden costs down the line, so we are looking at the mini cribs that convert into toddler beds and twin beds.

My question is, does anyone regret getting mini cribs and wish they’d gotten full sized cribs? I’m trying to look ahead to leaving space in their room for toys and such as well since we won’t have a dedicated play room for them, and mini cribs just seem like a better option. Also am debating on getting the ones that have lockable wheels so we can move them into our room or the living room if needed (I have read that you can never have too many containment devices with twins lol, so a portable crib sounds like not a bad idea).

Any brand recommendations? Been looking Amazon but open to other stores as well.

10 Comments
2024/11/09
00:12 UTC

0

Travel for thanksgiving? 16w mo/di

Hi all, just looking for some additional advice. With mo/di twins, I’m starting MFM ultrasounds every 2 weeks to monitor for TTTS. With the current schedule, I’ll miss one MFM ultrasound appointment if we travel for thanksgiving. Is it too risky/not worth it to go home & miss?

My doctor said as long as long as the scans leading up to it look good, he’s not that worried.

Here’s my current schedule:

Nov 12 - MFM ultrasound

Nov 20 - regular ultrasound

Nov 26 - MFM ultrasound (the one i would miss)

Dec 4 - fetal echo

Dec 5 - regular ultrasound

Dec 9 - MFM ultrasound

Also, the MFM office refused to change it to the week before or after so that’s not a possibility :/

10 Comments
2024/11/08
22:38 UTC

5

25 weeks & 5 days w/ triplets & completely over it

Im so annoyed right now. I don’t know i am just really over it at this point. . I don’t even want to talk to my husband. I am annoyed with him too. I don’t know why sometimes i feel this way. I just do. I can’t even get myself to act like i am okay. Im just not. I kinda miss not being pregnant. I just am so bothered and triggered by little things . I don’t want to talk to anyone and i don’t want to be bothered with my husband either. Anyone else had this feeling before? Sometimes im happy, sometimes im not. Im just over it & tired of the weekly dr appointments and test & everything else.

6 Comments
2024/11/08
22:31 UTC

7

How long did you bleed (lochia) after twins?

It feels like it’s never going to end. Wondering if it’s lasting this long because I had two placentas in there.

34 Comments
2024/11/08
22:26 UTC

2

Snoo using Parents of Multiples: should I cold turkey out of the Snoo tonight?!

Back story: I have twins who will be 6mo next week (5mo adjusted age - born 4 weeks early) who have been in Snoos in our bedrooms basically since we came home from hospital. We’ve always said we’d move them into their room and cribs around 6mo.

So in preparation, we’ve been arms out for naps for 2/3 weeks now and have never allowed Snoo to go past level 2. They basically sleep through the night 730p-630a w/ a dream feed at 10:00 and occasionally need a binky soothing in the middle of the night. I was planning to start weaning mode tn BUT we decided to test run a couple naps in the cribs today and they’re on nap 2 of the day, in the crib, with Halo sleep sacks.

Would you attempt overnight at this point or continue naps for a bit and then transition to crib sleep once they’re more used to their room?

(Cross posted to the /Snoolife subreddit)

4 Comments
2024/11/08
20:25 UTC

3

What to expect upon discharge: premie babies + car seats

Hello, I've asked my OB and one of the MFM nurses but neither were totally sure of the answer and said we would find out more from the mother/baby nurses.

We have two high quality car seats (Chicco Fit360). They are heavy and bulky car seats that are semi-permanently installed and not meant to be clipped in and out. Per specifications they fit newborns as small as 4 lbs. However I have heard that this is not always accurate. My babies are on target to be born at approximately 5 lbs.

Those who took home very small babies, how did it go at your hospital? I know they want to check that the babies will safely fit. Did they make you carry the car seat up or did they observe proper fit at curbside? If they determined the babies did not safely fit, what happened next?

28 Comments
2024/11/08
20:15 UTC

4

Too much amniotic fluid

Did anyone experience too much amniotic fluid? My MFM said this is common in twin pregnancy but also is a risk for preterm birth and prom. I’ve been put on progesterone suppositories and will continue to be monitored. I’m also an older FTM (40) If anyone else has experienced this would love to hear your how your pregnancy went for you and when you ended up delivering. My goal, hope and prayer is 37 weeks~ I am at 20 weeks now.

10 Comments
2024/11/08
19:51 UTC

2

When did your babies start teething?

My boys are almost 4 months, 3 months adjusted. However they are showing signs of teething and constantly chewing their hands and will scream if you try to take their hand out of their mouth. I know all babies are different but how did their teething happen with their age?

5 Comments
2024/11/08
18:19 UTC

1

Ftm and I’m overthinking my newborns emotions

My didi twin girls were born 3 weeks ago today. Sophie is a fussy baby and requires a lot of attention and takes longer to get to sleep etc. Lilly is a very chill baby and rarely fusses. When I have the night shifts and my partner is sleeping I get so sad and overwhelmed bc Sophie is crying and I’m trying to settle her and then a bit later Lilly will whine. Not full on cry but I get in my head bc I’m wondering why Sophie is so fussy and if Lilly is sad bc she gets less of my attention sometimes :(

4 Comments
2024/11/08
18:04 UTC

0

Mazda CX-90 for 3 adults and twins is good?

Hello all…! We recently realised that my wife is pregnant with twins and they are due next year. We are first time parent and now have to upgrade to bigger vehicle. Currently using Mazda CX-30 that is good for us and our Dog.

Has anyone here used a Mazda CX-90 ? The way I was thinking was to put one baby in the second row and another one in third row. Wife would be sitting in the 2nd row. I am opting for captain chairs.

One seat in the 3 row will be down for the boot space strollers and all….!

I know that minivan is suggested but I need an AWD car for suburban Canadian Winters and a PHEV.

19 Comments
2024/11/08
17:05 UTC

57

Let’s share some wins!

I saw a post several days ago where a twin momma-to-be said she was nervous because of all the posts sharing about how overwhelming life with multiples can be, and another momma mentioned a weekly win post, so let’s do it!

I’ll go first in the comments. This can be a big win, like graduating from no longer needing to see a specialist, to a tiny win like marveling at how sweet your babies look when you finally get them down for a nap!

We ALL get it. Life with multiples can be so challenging and overwhelming. It stretches us in ways we never knew we could stretch. But, at the same time, it’s the most rewarding and wonderful life and we here have the unique perspective that only we can understand.

Ready? Go!

154 Comments
2024/11/08
16:33 UTC

0

Do any mom have vaginal birth stories to share?? Are c section mamas still able to breastfeed after?

I am a 35yo FTM with di/di twins. The discussion around vaginal/c has been occurring since my 8 week appointment, with my docs leaning HEAVILY towards a C. As of 24 weeks, one baby is breech and one is oblique. I understand that babies can flip 100 times from now until delivery so thats not particularly concerning. What seems to bother my doctors is that I could deliver one baby vaginally and still need a C-section for the second baby. Id ideally like to be able to breastfeed and I am getting mixed feedback from other C-section moms saying a C impacted their ability to produce milk. Please share your experience!

61 Comments
2024/11/08
16:18 UTC

4

Small growth

Hi all - me again! Currently 25w with tri/tri triplet girls. Today was a growth scan and it came back that baby A is a bit on the smaller side - all together she’s at the 7th percentile. The other 2 are 14-15%.

Baby A femur is what pulled her numbers down. The dr said that her abdominal circumference is measuring accordingly at 13%. The dr said her Doppler levels were great but because the %is low and she has a marginalized umbilical cord - they want to take precautions. Which I totally am fine with.

We are starting weekly scans for her and will do another full growth assessment again in 3 weeks in all three.

I understand trips grow differently and smaller but wondering if anyone had similar stories/situation? I really want to keep the girls in as long as possible but now I’m worried we won’t make it to the 32-34 week stage.

7 Comments
2024/11/08
16:13 UTC

1

Breast pump for hospital?

Trying to get the last few things in my hospital bag! Did anyone bring their pumps & use them? I have a spectra, portable momcozy & the haaka manual.

I don’t really think I need any of the electric pumps but I was considering packing the manual since it’s so small.

Curious if anyone did or didn’t use theirs. Did you bring anything to collect milk like the bottles or bags? Did you have enough to take home with you?

TIA!

6 Comments
2024/11/08
15:26 UTC

4

I swear my kids get on opposite sleep schedules just so they don’t have to share me

My 1 year old twin boys have recently started to get overly jealous of splitting my attention between them, especially times like when they both want to use me as a jungle gym while we’re playing.

They’ve always been especially clingy with me, and will get fussy on and off over sharing toys just as a norm, but generally play well together, and have no problems sharing daddy.

Now they regularly get Big Sad or frustrated when both coming up to me for attention and having to share. They get emotional and shove each other and try to wedge the other out of the way.

They used to both sit on my lap to fall asleep for naps when they were younger, now I have to take turns nursing them to sleep for nap time, and whoever needs to go second always gets Big Big Sad the whole time I’m trying to put their brother down.

I am SAHM, we don’t have family nearby to visit often, so I understand why they need more attention from me in general. But how do I help ease the situation now that they are getting bigger, and having bigger emotions?

Any advice on how to manage is much appreciated!

1 Comment
2024/11/08
15:24 UTC

3

Looking for gift ideas for mom…

Hello friends and superheroes.

My wife is due with twins, our firsts, in early December. I want to get her some kind of jewelry with both boys names on it. Everything I find is for just one name or seems of poor quality. I really don’t want to have to buy two pieces but I want it to still be good quality. Anyone here have any ideas or experience or maybe a something that you have that you love?

Thank you in advance!

3 Comments
2024/11/08
15:18 UTC

75

I am drowning in debt after having twins and I'm scared.

I am lost. I'm so scared but I've tried everything I can think of to survive. Im drowning and I don't know how much longer I can stay afloat.

I have two beautiful 6 month old twins. They are my everything and I wouldn't change that for the world. I never knew I could love anyone as much as I do these two tiny humans. That being said... they were not planned. My husband and I were trying and we were blessed by not one but two! Budget wise though, we could only really afford one. We both work as assistant teachers, so we didn't make much, but enough. I figured once maternity leave was over, we find daycare, I got back to work etc. Well, in my area, daycare is 400$ a week, for each child and there is a 1 year waiting list for one spot, let alone two.

Needless to say, we tightened our belts as much as we could, removed any and all unnecessary financial luxury - no cable, internet is 10$ a month with low income assistant, bare bones phones, etc. It's still not enough.

I've applied to every income based program I can find - WIC, SNAP, TADFC, PFML, utility assistance. I go to our local pantry every two weeks as allowed and the local monthly baby assistant program. We got approved for SNAP ($500 a month for a family of 4) and WIC. Between that and the pantry, food costs are covered. It's not perfect but we are grateful that is one less thing to worry about.

Everything else, we got denied. Paid family medical leave isn't covered by my job, which is technically a government job, working for our town. We make too much money for TADFC. And utilities were somewhat covered, but not until Winter. We own our home, not able to take out a mortgage because of an odd circumstances with owning the house but leasing the land. We have no car payment. We are behind on so many bills. Our bank is consistently overdrawn. We applied for a loan and got approved for $2,000 but even that is dwindling away. We won't loose our home and food is good, so I know we are better off than most but we just cant keep up with the costs. I can't even afford diapers right now and have been relying on the pantry and charitable opportunities grabbing what I can. I feel like a beggar and it makes me cry that I can't provide better for my family.

I can't afford daycare but I can't afford not to work either. I dont have anyone who can watch the twins, everyone around us is either in poor health or old, including our close family. Even if I could apply for assistance with daycare, it's still a year long waiting list, possibly longer for twins. And that's IF I get them into a decent daycare. Most of the surrounding area daycare have terrible reputation.

I just don't know what else to do. The only thing I can think of is getting a second job, and working when my husband comes home from work. I cant do much right now from home, the twins are very demanding of attention and it would be almost impossible to dedicated proper time to a remote job for more than 30 or 40 minutes at a time before I had someone screaming or needing to be fed.

I just don't know what else to do at this point. Sell a kidney? F*ck, I'd do it if it kept my babies home with me. We only have to survive until they turn 3, when I can go back to work and they can be in preschool with me (I'm specifically preschool) but I just don't know how we are going to stay afloat for the next 1.5 years.

If you got this far, thank you for listening to my venting. I don't expect answers or even any real advice but I just appreciate knowing I'm not alone.

59 Comments
2024/11/08
15:14 UTC

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