Just as the title says

I'm quite annoyed that my parents weren't supportive of my interracial relationship (we only dated for 1 month and a half & he was my first ever dating experience).

I'm 25F Indian and the guy I was dating was 27M Chinese

My parents didn't even give this guy a chance and outright refused to meet him because he is chinese.

Due to my parents threatening to stop supporting me financially and because I am financially dependant on them for the next 3 months I had to break things off.

What annoys me is that so many people around me and the some people I follow on Instagram are in Chinese x Indian relationships and their parents are so so supportive of them.

I'm just so frustrated like why can't I have that support? Why do I have to fight with my parents to get them to even meet the guy? It just makes so angry and envious.

Even if I get into another relationship and if it is interracial, I will have to fight again and I won't have support from my parents, and maybe even have to go low contact or no contact with them, which I don't want to do, but I just wish they were supportive.

While other parents seem to be very supportive of their children's relationships and really like their partners even though they are a different ethnicity.

How did you know your partner was the one?

Balancing Racial Identity and Black Spaces in an IR relationship

Hey all, seeking perspective from people who have been in successful IR relationships or are currently in healthy ones!

I’m in a relationship with someone I genuinely love, who respects me and my Black identity. I’m proud of our relationship, but sometimes I wonder if, in the future, there might be situations where I’ll feel like I’m caught between being fully present in Black spaces and my relationship. It’s not something that’s actively come up—more of a potential challenge that I want to be mindful of as we go forward.

I also totally understand that my partner’s presence might not always be appropriate in certain Black spaces that affirm me. I respect that, but I don’t want to feel like I have to choose between these parts of my life to feel connected to my identity.

For those of you in similar situations, how do you balance staying connected to Black spaces and community while also feeling happy and confident in your IR? What kind of spaces do you find welcoming to you and your partner. What does your community look like? Any advice or experiences would be so helpful. Thank you!

My roommate always makes a point to say to everyone and every black man she encounters that she only dates black guys. My boyfriend is black and whenever they are alone together with autistic adult son they both start talking about race and black ppl like it’s the only thing they can think of to talk about. The first time she met my boyfriend, he was upset about a cane corso dog in the hallway barking aggressively and lunging towards us everyday the first 3 days after we moved in and we had to call her just to leave our bedroom, she says in front of my boyfriend laughing that “yeah for some reason black guys are always afraid of dogs.” And later I asked her what makes her say that and she said because dog fights are done by black ppl and so they see the dogs as being aggressive. She didn’t mean that him or anyone that was black automatically takes part or supports fighting dogs but she said that it was known to happen in their community.

When I think of these comments and how she constantly says inappropriate things in front of my boyfriend about her body, I start to wonder if she’s wanting attention from him and what’s her angle with all the talk about race? My main question is what everyone thinks of someone who states immediately that they only date black men? I think it comes off seeming like a sexual thing and that when she says that, a person would automatically think she wants to sleep with them. I also think the ones who don’t think that would still take offense. My boyfriend says it comes off racist in a way because of the other things she says. I think it’s best to keep your mouth shut despite only dating or wanting to date a certain race. Anytime someone says to me “so u must like black guys” I say no I like who I like period…

My BF set up the punch line and I went for it… am I cooked?

For context I am a 24 BW and my partner is a 23 Telugu man.

We were watching a Tollywood film and towards the end of the file he said, “I’m telling you” to which I replied, “No, you’re Telugu!”

He’s on the opposite end of the couch now, am I cooked?! He said it wasn’t that funny, the regret is setting in. Any advice?

Edit: He has a sarcastic sense of humor and he knows I’m corny AF. 🥰

Dear all, I was wondering if you can give me advice about dating someone who is originally from India. So, I am a 36 year old, woman with was European roots, who started seeing a guy, same age, who lives in Europe for about 7 years. He was living in Australia before where he did his masters. It is still too early to tell where it is leading but I was wondering if there are things I need to consider approaching him.

Background is I was in a relationship with someone from the Middle East, who moved to Europe for studies and seemed to be western oriented. He was not fasting during Ramadan, drank alcohol and he refused to pray. However, after some time he told me he needs more than one woman but I should be the main one. Also he started to ask me to dress appropriately and not to reveal too much skin. Last thing was not a big issue but he left me for a younger Muslim woman because she may get accepted by his family as I am Christian not Muslim.

I am really interested in getting to know this man but I am cautious now.

Earlier this year I met a new friend, Jaz 22f. She’s biracial (black dad, Italian mom), lighter and her bf is white(possibly Irish heritage), 20m. They’ve been together for 2 or 3 years. We bonded mostly through double dates and even went to my bf family lake house. We stayed an entire weekend with them and never got a weird vibe. We were actually a lot more comfortable with them than other friends we’ve known for a lot longer.

Idk if it’s important to mention also being in an interracial relationship. I 20f am a darker black woman and my bf 20m is Italian. Jaz and I have a lot in common and clicked right away. Our bfs just have that ability to get along with everyone, so they got along pretty well despite having little in common. Recently Jaz and I hung out one on one. She confided to me that her bf casually says the N word.

I thought my facial expression would’ve told her I was uncomfortable but she just kept talking about it. She mentioned having to tell him not to say anything racist when getting upset at a black woman and having to break up with him before because of it. I just straight up told her that’s not okay. She followed up by saying “oh he never has said it to a black person though” and “he says racist things about all races, including his own”

A few days later she invited us on another double date but I told her I was uncomfortable with being around him. I was still willing to be her friend but she was pretty doubtful of any friendship we could have because… that’s her man and she’s gonna stick beside him. We agreed to stay friends but the friendship died, quickly. We haven’t spoken other than me telling her happy birthday. She grew up with her dad side so I would think that she’d know better but I highly doubt she’d leave him. My bf says he feels bad for her but I disagree. I’m 100% sure she knows it’s not okay and I’d do no justice trying to talk her out the relationship. Part of me thinks she’s desperate for a relationship or is trying to escape poverty. I instantly started to think about the possibility of their future child growing up with trauma.

TLDR; My friend confided to me that her bf use racist terms so I let our friendship die out.

I’m in a really tough spot and could use some advice. I (18 yr old female African) 18F have been talking to a guy (19 yr old south asian guy) 19M for a couple of months.

We were each other’s first everything, including losing our virginities to each other about a week and a half ago.

He was planning to ask me to be his girlfriend next week when he returns from visiting his parents.

However, things got bad. I accidentally called his cell phone while his mom was in the car with him.

not knowing they were in the car with him and she saw my contact.

she started interrogating him and asking what i do, who i am and what i am to him. I and what our relationship is.

He eventually admitted that we’d been talking for a couple of months and that he intended to ask me to be his girlfriend soon.

His mom freaked out and went silent giving him silent treatment the whole day and not happy about this at all.

she told him that she wouldn’t accept me because I’m not south asian or Hindu.

Since then, his parents have been giving him the silent treatment, and when he got home they even had a heated argument about it.

His mom warned him that if they find out he continues to pursue a romantic relationship with me, they will force him into an arranged marriage.

They’ve told him he can still be friends with me but nothing romantic.

This is suck for both of us. as he doesnt want to be with someone else and he said he was hoping it would’ve been me and him instead,

He’s hurting and feels guilty for what’s happening, and I’m upset too.

Before this, he told me his parents were strict but not in the dating department, and that they didn’t care but that as long as who

he dated took education seriously, didn’t interfere with his studies or influence him negatively.

He’s such a sweet guy who has always made time for me, he helped me move in, built all my furniture, and buys me cute gifts

whenever he sees something that reminds him of me, he never pressured me for anything sexual or to do anything.

I know he really cares about me, and it’s clear that this situation is weighing heavily on him, because he feels like shit that this is hurting.

i feel so guilty knowing i accidentally did something that is not only messing up his relationship with his parents but that is hurting him like crazy.

I’ve been crying almost everyday since it happened earlier this week because of the guilt as well as the hurt knowing we have to be only friends.

knowing we both already said the l word to eachother, are eachothers firsts everything and that i lost it to him but now were being reduced to friends.

I'm grateful that we can still be friends, and that he will still be in my life somehow but it's painful knowing how strict his parents are

and how this is impacting him. especially given how hard he works both in school and everything else.

anyway a short summary would be hes just a baby and i told him i would never make him

choose between his family or me but i just think its so outrageous that they would do a 180 like this and out of nowhere not accept it.

just based on seeing my contact show up, ive never met them, hes never mentioned me

to them before this either they didnt even know i existed or seen what i look like or met me and they're hurting him like this.

especially because im not a bad influence on him and don't understand what it is they think is so bad, i dont drink or do drugs, i get

good marks, i have a stable job, i don't sleep around, and i have a good major that will get me a proper job after he and i graduate.

Tldr: guys parents overreacted after finding out he has feelings for me (a non hindu, south’s asian) and planned to ask me out. I am hurting like hell due to the fact i want to be with him my first everything.

Always remember ladies, even in dating with different races especially ALL women of all ethnicities and background. Do not every look at the RACE of the guy always look at his CHARACTER.

How does he treat others, especially women? Is he a good provider? Is he responsible? Does he take care of you when things are going bad for you? Does he make sacrifices for you? Does he have a good reputation? Does he PRACTICE what he PREACHES ?

When you start looking at these qualiteis, trust me you will leat the TRASH take itself out, and you will have MORE TIME to find the real guys.

You will in the meantime have all the time for self care, foucs on the right guy and eventually marry the one who is above and beyond what you expected. Remember, you attract who you are.

I’ve entered my first interracial situationship. I’m black and he’s white. Well, I didn’t know that’s what we were doing. I made my intentions clear in the beginning, being as though I’m a single mom and don’t have much time to date bc I work in a doctors office full time. He understood, and shared with me that he also has a child around the same age as mine. I was happy about that bc I felt like we could understand each other from a parental standpoint.

I told him, I’d want someone that I can eventually have a relationship with because of my current schedule, I’m okay with things being lighthearted while we get to know each other. Dates, intimacy, spending time together etc.. and he says he was on the same page.

So we have a first date, it went amazing. And we continue to see each other multiple times afterwards.. he’s slept over a few times and vice versa and we have great chemistry. He even brought me to his job and I met a few of his coworkers and he tells me he “doesn’t normally do that” but then after a month, the energy changes completely.,

And I’m devastated bc I truly thought things were going wellll. He then tells me he didn’t want anything consistent, and isn’t interested in catching any feelings.. so I fall back, with the intention of protecting myself but apart of me kind of wanted him to chase me. He didn’t, he remained distant and ignores me. With time I get really upset because I start to feel like he lead me on to sleep with him and that’s it..

So I express myself to him, not in a rude way at all, but he seems annoyed by that, takes no accountability and blocks me. I’m still blocked but I can’t stop thinking about him.

Men, If you are in this sub I would love some perspective on why he would start to act this way? I genuinely thought things were going well..

I am from China 25F and my husband is from Germany 36M

Here I would like to talk about international dating experiences. :)

I would like to firstly share my story. I met my husband on Tinder. I know it sounds funny haha but surprisingly I found the love of my life. After we got married, I started online browsing other international couples in Chinese media , I came across some bloggers who posted their life of international marriages like me. I see how sweet they are meanwhile also a lots of ladies leave comment below that asking them how did they find the husband and could you introduce me a boyfriend or a girlfriend. Due to my work relation, I work with many foreigners here in China, many people come asking me how did I met my husband and ask me for some introduction of some good and nice men.

I want to support them and my friend Rachel reached out to me to start helping them. For now I managed to help around ten men find their Chinese girlfriends online ( some ladies they don’t have it yet.

so im caught in a situation i never thought id be in and i need some advice on how to handle it. im white british satanist (no i dont believe in the devil its just rules i live by most ir morally correct and common sense) and my partner is muslim.

we make the relationship work rlly well this isnt what i need advice on.

ive just started an adult college course and theres a woman on the course whose 15 years older than me and has been rather rude/ racist(??) to me. she is pakistani muslim who is from my knowledge 3rd gen immigrant. (idk if this is relevant but its here if you think it is.) she has been making comments about how she cant understand how my "pak1" (hes egyptian btw) bf would date a "white little bitch like that". (talking abt me). shes also been calling me a "fake muslim" tho ive never claimed to be one. i eat halal and dont drink as a show of respect to my boyfriend but never once have i claimed to follow islam.

ik these comments seem small in the big picture but theyre really irritating me. im horrible at confrontation. ill let stuff slide until i hit a breaking point and make the confrontation larger than it needs to be.

how the hell do i navigate the situation? should i pull her aside and try and resolve the situation myself even tho ik this woman is agressive outside of the issues ive had? or do i try and involve staff to mediate? what do i do?

TIA (ive tagged the post as possible racism. i rlly dont know if this counts bcs ive never faced these issues but id have to assume it is due to the "white little b1tch" comment)

I (WM 26) found this large study from brookings institute (https://www.brookings.edu/articles/rethinking-the-role-of-race-in-crime-and-police-violence/) and another from Harvard ( https://scholar.harvard.edu/files/fryer/files/empirical_analysis_tables_figures.pdf), and I want to discuss the results with my gf (28 BW) but I think their results would upset her and I wonder if I should avoid the topic all together.

There are similar things like this but genuinely not sure if and how to broach them.

And I guess I want to broach the topics because there is this sense of the truth being both important but elusive in society, and I want to be able to discover what the truth is openly with my partner.

Hello yall! So a bit of background, I am American (white). My spouse is a first generation Indian-American. His family (that are in America) are immigrants from India. Specifically Gujarat…..I need gift ideas! I want to do it right. I am buying gifts for future FIL & MIL. I am also getting gifts for sisters, brothers, aunts and uncles!

Any advice would be amazing!

Are there a lot of interracial couples among Christians in your neighborhood? I didn't see many when I was growing up, and it seems like it's still pretty rare around here. Do you think there's still a stigma or old-fashioned racism when it comes to dating as a Christian? I'm curious to hear about your experiences!

Today was her Aunties wedding

I am white/Mexican I do not like dating White girls I just don't find them attractive not normally at least I am more attracted to black women is it racist because I'm not attracted to white women or racist because I'm mostly attracted to darker skin women?

Update: thank you very much to everyone for helping me understand this it's not racist the same way not being gay is homophobic you can say or do things that make it bad but on its own it's not I thank everyone that left a genuine comment to help

ive noticed i have a high attraction towards east asian men. I actually just got out of a relationship with a korean man and have had a bit of interest from other koreans yet i wonder if it was just luck and itd never happen again. Theres quit a few east asain students at my school and ive considered asking this guy out but i was worried he just wouldnt be into me. I get really anxious about my race because all i see is something negative about dating as a black woman but i dont know i actually havent had much trouble dating so far i guess. I mean my ex was the one to ask me out not the other way around. If its important i am 18 and in university, i know interacial dating is more accepted in the younger generation around the world but still its the anxiety that makes me wonder if its just a lost cause. I really enjoy being able to exchange cultures and my ex even made me want to take korean and now its my minor! I genuinely really enjoy east asian culture but now i especially really enjoy learning about korea and speaking korean. Any input would be nice and i hope i dont come across as rude. Thank you!

My (19M) girlfriend (21F) and I are long distance with 8 hours and 500 miles between us. Up until now, every time we’ve seen each other, I drove down to her but this weekend we were going to meet in the middle, closer to me. That was the plan for a month but today she called me crying and told me that her dad won’t allow it. She said it’s hard for me to understand because I don’t understand her culture (she’s Hispanic) which is true. This is really hard because it will be over a month from now until the next time I get to see her. Does anyone have any advice for us? I’m really struggling

I know that a lot of black women have bad experiences with WF/BM couples and I've experienced that before too, but I had a wonderful experience recently with this family. I didn't feel disrespected by either individual, and they seem to really care for each other alongside their kids.

I'm a curvy black woman and I've definitely realized my attraction to Asian men. My current fwb is Korean, but it won't go past that. There is more to it, so please don't attack him. But on the whole, Asian men only want to sleep with me and prefer to date slim white or Asian women. If they date black, they prefer us slim as well.

It just sucks cause dating in general is difficult for me cause of my weight. I don't think I'm ugly, but I know how shallow it is in California.

Anyway, just random thoughts. Hopefully I can lose the weight soon. pcos makes it difficult.

I live in the south. I’m 24F and white while my boyfriend is 24m and Cambodian. We’ve gotten use to glares from strangers but sometimes we get comments that I just find weird, almost fetish like. We were with friends and one of them brought their aunt over (she’s 35f) and the aunt immediately said asked if we are dating. I replied yes and she replied omg I love wasian babies! You’ll have the cutest little wasian babies. How many wasians do you want? She didn’t ask our names or anything about ourselves. She only wanted to talk about wasian babies. She kept using wasian in every sentence to us the rest of the night even though it was obviously making us both uncomfortable. In the car ride home my boyfriend told me that it felt like she was fetishizing our nonexistent kid. I agreed and we both were so weirded out. Since this, a couple people from that night now mention wasian babies to us. Like, when the group is all talking about the future and having kids, they will talk about babies to eachother and then say wasian baby to us. I asked why do you keep specifying wasian to us but not say white baby to anyone else? Then I got told we are making the situation awkward by making it a race thing. We’ve also heard some colorism comments about our future baby. I am very pale and my boyfriend is not. I was asked by someone in this friend group if I ever wonder what my baby will look like. I told her yeah sometimes. I assume our baby will look more like him since he has dominant genetic traits like black hair and brown eyes. I know blue eyes and blonde hair are recessive traits but I don’t really put any more thought into it than that. I know I’ll love my baby no matter what he or she looks like. She then asks if I’m afraid of how dark the baby might be. My boyfriend overheard this and we were both VERY uncomfortable. He’s always been somewhat insecure about his skintone because he is the darkest of all his siblings. Her comment really struck a chord with him. I asked why should I be concerned about my babies completion and if she thinks there is an issue? I was again asked why am I making this awkward and a race thing. I told her because that is a racial comment and that I’ve never asked her if she’s afraid of her baby being too pale (her and her husband are both white). My boyfriend and me left early and in the car we were just so confused on why she would say that. He told his friend (her husband) about the comment. He was embarrassed and apologized for his wife. Like I just mentioned, my bf is darker than his siblings. His mom was excited that I am so pale because I will “cancel out his dark and give them pretty grandchildren”. My jaw DROPPED when she said this. My bf told me to just ignore the comment and that it’s cultural. Why are people obsessed with worrying about my future baby’s skin tone and why do they feel the need to specify wasian baby to us? My bf asked someone if they think he’s unaware that he is Asian and im white because they kept saying wasian to him all night. It made the person stop talking to us the rest of the night and avoid us. Are we overthinking this? People always turn it around as we are being too sensitive but I just feel like they are being racist even if they don’t mean to be. It weirds both of us out. Also his mom’s comment was a few years ago but still bothers me.

I 27M just recently relocated to Colorado where it’s predominately Caucasian and Hispanic people. I’m open to all. However, I’m from small minded South Carolina where racism is/was (depending on your experience) a thing. My personal bias is that white males don’t find black males to be rather approachable or attractive. (Yes, I’m gay) So my question to you all is, do I need to change my mindset?(if so, provide some tools) Is there a certain way I should a approach them? I don’t feel like we can negate that fact that we come from two different backgrounds/cultures. I would flair this as possibly offensive but I’m truly curious.