I’m 37WF and I’m meeting my bfs 39AM family this weekend. We’ve been dating for 8 months. He has met my mom and brother and we have met a lot of each others friends and co workers, but this will be the first of his family that I’ve met.

He and his whole family immigrated from Southeast Asia when he was young so he is mostly “Americanized”. He told his mom that he was going to bring me this weekend to meet them and she thought at first that we were going to announce an engagement or something, but he assured her that wasn’t true and we’re still getting to know each other. His parents, older brother, SIL, and brothers 3 young kids will be there.

Anyway—- I’m super nervous and need advice on what I should wear or be careful of or.. anything and everything really. I want to make a good first impression.

I have a small gift from a Buddhist temple I visited for his mom, and some special snacks from the last place I visited. In my family, you never show up empty handed, so I thought I would bring a dessert to share or something.

TLDR: I want to make a good first impression on my southeast Asian bf’s family… advice?

I know it's not the most eloquently phrased question, but even though I live in Asia, I don't find most AFs attractive because I prefer a curvier body type, and a lot of AFs tend to be very thin and have smaller boobs/butts than women of other ethnicities. I also noticed that AFs, while skinnier, tend to not lift weights as much as WFs. As an AM who's 6'2 and goes to the gym regularly, I prefer fit women. Based on my observations, WFs tend to take working out much more seriously, and will put lots of effort into building their glutes, abs etc. compared to AFs who just want to look as skinny as possible. On top of that, I grew up consuming American media, so I was also influenced by Western beauty standards. There are of course lots of non-physical reasons for me preferring WFs, but those aren't relevant to this post.

All of this has led me to have a strong preference for WFs. In fact, I've only ever dated one AF - the rest of my relationships have all been with WFs. But is it wrong to write off AFs entirely? Am I unfairly stereotyping them for not having big butts/boobs etc, similar to how AMs get unfairly stereotyped as being smaller and less masculine? I know a lot of AMs complain about self-hating AFs who only go for WMs and refuse to date men of their own race, so I want to make sure that my physical preferences aren't equally problematic.

I'm doing my first stand up open mic night next week in a city in Southeast Asia which is famous for having a lot of WMAF couples (usually older white guy with younger local girl), so I figured I'd do some AMWF related material as a bit of a subversion of the jokes that usually get told at the group.

Some that I've managed to come up with so far

• Like WMAF couples here, my wife and I also met in a bar where she asked me "how much?", but in her case she meant "How much do I have to lower my standards to get a date in this part of the world?"

• When we got married I had to have a talk with her to adjust her expectations for the wedding, that it will be a lot bigger than she expects, and she won't know most of the guests

• Dress up parties are hard for AMWF couples. Either I need to whitewash, or she risks getting cancelled.

TLDR; It seems many Americans under 25, including kids, are going to speak Mandarin a lot and the girls are especially keen to have a Chinese boyfriend.

I've just skimmed about 150 pages of transcripted videos from TikTok and Xiaohongshu/RedNote by Americans and Canadians, being agitated, radicalized, outright angry at what they see on the posh, upper class short-video platform, RedNote. (RedNote is a Chinese Instagram/Lonely Planet/Michelin guide that turned into a go-to lifehack search engine; the company makes most money from cosmetics ads. It's for the lifestyle addicts.) They're not angry at the Chinese, they're mostly amazed, jealous, stunned, and confused, when it comes to "China", from what I've seen, they're not very exposed to travelling abroad, let alone being interested in China or Asia at large, but they appear to be very angry now about property taxes, selling blood, kids with bulletproof bags, unaffordable food, moms skipping meals, poor quality food (like not fresh, no variety), overwork, insane health care costs, unbelievable tuition fees, quality of Kindergartens, etc. The videos made it into the Daily Show two weeks ago, where somebody figured out that 2 pounds corn on cob costs $0.94 in China's supermarkets, whereas 2 pounds would cost $7 in the US (but sold as 1 pound). There also is the notion of revelation: the US government/Congress are able to ban TikTok, but won't fix everyday problems, like homelessness or gun shootings.

I'm in Western Europe and highly confused, the videos appear to be melodramatic, overly emotional and exagerated, the women cry a lot, the people appear to have voted for Bernie Sanders, or so, and they're at mental war with "the government".

And then, the videos with the younger women often stated, "I'm going to China", such as life plans: learn Chinese, save money, move to China and find a husband there.

From the distance, it's a bit surreal. I'd appreciate your comments, thank you.

We all know the trope of the white (older) guy with the (young) asian girl. I would consider it a more negative stereotype (because power dynamics and fetishization ig). Since I am a WF who is probably going to stay together forever with her SO (AM), I am kinda afraid of being put in a box as a woman who fell in love with this man merely because of the rise of popularity of asian culture in western media and just in general (Kpop, Anime, Asian Dramas and Food, etc.) at the current time. Especially because I do like all of these things. It is honestly embarassing to tell people I like Kpop AND have an Asian Boyfriend. I don't wanna be classified as Koreaboo, Weeb or just Asiaboo in general, especially not by my future children. I would have dated him no matter what ethnicity he has and I am worried my love will be devalued and stereotyped in the future, as I can already feel this trope being applied to people who just date AM even without them liking any popular asian media prior to meeting their SO.

I don't wanna be grouped into the same box as people who fetishize asians, not now and hopefully not in the future.

Would love to hear your experiences :)

Are any of you guys (especially for those of you who fit the nerd, geek, dork, loner, socially inept stereotype who are fantasizing about dating most physically attractive white woman? (I feel this way) (17M)

I was touring around osaka & kyoto and saw a good number of AMWF couples that i couldnt count, easily over 10 across a few days. This wasn't a surprise as i knew japan is one of the most popular asian country. 10 years ago it'd probably be hard to spot even 1 couple in a week,so I am glad to see the improvement in numbers despite japan being a very conservative country and seeing it likely is the one with the lesser AMWFs compared to china or korea at least among east asia.

Hey everyone! This might lowkey be an “AITA” situation but I’m not too sure.

My partner and I were discussing marriage and he made an off handed comment about either taking my last name (an uncommon, but British last name), or joining them together. I told him that I hated the idea of that, as I come from a rather traditional family who have instilled in me from day dot that one day, I will take my husband’s last name.

He explained to me that he was picked on by other kids when he was younger and a lot of the comments would involve his last name (being Chen). He said he didn’t want our future children to go through the same experience.

I told him that I thought this was silly - that I WANT to take his last name and I want our future children to have his last name too. I think they should be proud of their Taiwanese heritage and that their first experience directly after leaving my birth canal shouldn’t be me “whitewashing” them.

How should I navigate this further? I despise the fact that he was picked on as a child for being Taiwanese (kids are assholes) but I don’t think it’s right for us to go out of our way to strip our children of an Asian surname. This is a situation that we don’t have to cross until we’re at the bridge, but I’m rather neurotic and like to have things established/planned well beforehand.

I’m half-Jewish so I understand wanting to hide something that could bring you trouble around the wrong people - but … my future children are probably going to be visibly Asian so it seems redundant to take away the last name 😭

I was born in the US (Hawaii), Chinese decent and Thai on my father's side, and Japanese on my mother's. That in itself is pretty abnormal because typically in traditional Asian cultures, those two (Chinese and Japanese)almost never marry for obvious historical reasons, which I think is just racist. I'm average at math, ADHD kid growing up (now under control), probably a little dyslexic too. I have tattos and I don't work in tech or finance. I'm a professional tree trimmer (arborist). I often found myself in my childhood and adulthood having a hard time connecting and relating to not only my Asian cultures, much love, but also fitting in as an American. Are there any others that can relate to me? I've dated every race, I love people (for the most part) but I also feel at times like I get judged heavily from all angles just because the way I look. I think that's why in early adulthood I was drawn to substances. Anything that would momentarily make me feel different at times, was my escape from the fear of what people thought of me. I'm now sober after years of trying to figure out the reason why I was a mistake, just to find out that it's okay to be different and to accept it because the world doesn't revolve around me! Oh and I rant on random reddit pages at 4 am at times. Anyway, if any lady's are in central Texas (my new home since 2 weeks) and are interested in meeting this genetically engineered person created by beautiful parents (now divorced but both happily remarried) who themselves went against the cultural norm, hit me up I'm taking applications. That was a lot of words. Bye.

Will there ever be an AMWF pop band and if yes will the popularity be popular as bands like OneDirection? (that's the only popular pop-band I could think of lol)

I’ve been having a hard time finding genuine connections in the dating world, and I’ve noticed something that’s been weighing on me. It seems like many AM tend to prefer blondes with colored eyes over brunettes with brown eyes like me. I can’t help but feel overlooked because of this preference. My ex would tell me to dye my hair blonde.

Another challenge I face is that when I open up about being deaf—something I see as a moment of vulnerability—it often changes how I’m treated. Instead of continuing the conversation about building a connection, the focus shifts, and I get asked if I’d be willing to be FWB. It’s painful because I’m just trying to be honest about who I am, and I genuinely want love and a meaningful relationship.

Seeing happy couples gives me hope, but it also makes me wonder if I’ll ever find that for myself. Why does being deaf feel like such a dealbreaker to some? And why does my honesty lead to being seen as less than deserving of love?

If anyone has gone through similar struggles, how do you stay optimistic and keep putting yourself out there?🩵

To preface I’m an East Asian residing near Manchester, UK. I get down south in London there seems to be better success on people getting matches, but up here in the North that’s not the case, so if any WF from the north side of England browse this sub want to direct us in the right direction or anyone want to give some helpful tips would be grateful.

I’m a WF and am predominantly attracted to and date AM (few and far between because I live in the mid Midwest😂). I’ve noticed something that makes it difficult for me to connect on a deeper level with most and it makes me wonder if it really is a cultural thing or if I attract similar types of men.

Either they are emotionally distant and show minimal empathy, lack vulnerability, and are over rational/analytical OR they are extremely codependent and get offended if you don’t have feelings immediately.

Please tell me that there is a healthy balance somewhere in the middle.

https://www.imdb.com/title/tt21375602/

We need to stick up for each other. It literally takes 10 seconds to make a free imdb account and give it 10 or 9 stars. Do your part!

Edit: To anyone who is wondering if I've seen the film and if the reviews may be legitimate. This is an UNRELEASED film that has only been shown at a single film festival. There is no reason why an *unreleased* film should be getting this amount of 1-star reviews. Not 3 star, not 2 star. 1 star. When people in general cannot have even seen it.

I can see from my post insights that this thread has already received 466 total views. If even 10% of those viewers decided, "hey, why not take 10 seconds out of my day to stand against blatant racism against my community", this issue would have already been fixed by now.

I don't even know where I should post this , although I don't want this depressive feeling to bottle up inside of me , because I don't have no one to tell in my personal life about , not even my family . I feel like I'm alone in this world tbh and I needed to pretend to everyone that everything is fine.

In context I am an AM/Filipino and she is the a WF/American . Everything has been going well before before it happened , we have planned the place where we would love together (a condominium in my city) ,what restaurant place we would eat to , where we would shop etc. Things have been going smooth between us until she just left me a text saying how much she needs to focus on herself ,that it I've been wonderful to her ,that she was hoping that maybe destiny will ctossed our paths again (I no longer hoped for that to happen) , and it ended with her just saying goodbye disappearing like a ghost . I was very devastated just reading that text over and over again just torturing myself with the pain and I pretended to be just like a normal person interacting with my family like nothing happened . I have messaged her expalining about what I feel as if it's a way for me to cope with my pain and there was no response until now .

On that day apart of me died, because it has been the 2nd time that I have been abandoned the same way . I just know that it would hard for me to ever trust again , it's like this negative overthinking has manifested itself to become real. I would love to convey how much I love her , but I know it would just be futile to do so . I have given my love only for it to crumble down to the ground . I'm gonna be starting my year living my life with half a soul and I don't understand why I'm still not used to this feeling like a lifeless zombie . Happy New Year to Everyone and have a blessed year !

I'm a WF with an AM partner. Ever since I met his family (not just my MIL and FIL, but his extended family members as well) they've always called me beautiful, but focus especially on my blue eyes.

Whenever the topic of our future children comes up someone will usually hint at or outright say that they wish our kids will get blue eyes. In some instances it almost seems like they expect our children to be white.

As this is extremely unlikely to happen, I worry they will get disappointed when we do eventually have children and they get brown eyes.

I'm not exactly sure if I should do or say something in this situation. I know that this will stop eventually (when we have children) and resolve itself, but on the other hand I don't want them to get their hopes up and be excited to see if our children will get blue eyes. I also feel icky about blue eyes being viewed as an achievement, or that our children will be better if they have blue eyes.

For the record, I think my partner's dark brown eyes are beautiful, and I would love my children and their eyes no matter what color they end up being.

Has anyone else been in this situation? Have your in-laws (or your own family if you're the AM) expressed that they wish for your children to have white features? How did you handle it? I'd especially love to hear from couples who have children already.

I had successful attempts getting WFs to go on dates but I just couldn’t secure a long term relationship. Is it because I live in the southern bible belt of the US and the conservative culture here makes AMWF dating scene highly unlikely? I had made so many moves but I just couldn’t get one and it is extremely discouraging. It would be interesting to hear any AMs or WFs in the same situation to shed some light to help me, an AM, to overcome this hurdle.

Is it something physical? Something about the culture? Something else? And what is your type specifically? (e.g. tall, brown eyes, dark hair etc.)

I heard some advice about going to places where I seem desired. Dating apps are garbage and reaching out to others IRL has been a mixed bag so I'm not sure where to go from here. Even trickier since here in toronto, most people don't seem to like or respect asians.

While out last week for dinner we sat next to another couple. The girl was extremely beautiful and well dressed WF. I didn't notice her date but realised later that he was a very plain looking Asian guy , slightly chubby, but with a k drama kind of look (hair and clothes). I could overhear their conversation here and there and it didn't look like he was blowing her away with humour or deep conversation (they didn't speak much and his English wasn't great). Anyway not sure how their date went but it was nice to see it that some AM are getting dates with WF who would have been considered way out of their league just a few years ago 😅

I find myself very often attracted to asian men, but in my circle I never talk with any. I just see them at work but they are all inside their own asian group. How can I attract asian men?

I am in USA rn, but I also wonder if they are really put off by, in my case, being from south europe so I'm small, brunette and tanned.

I am in Boston, 29, and I’m into technology, stocks and sports. I also appreciate someone to go out and explore at weekends and understand I must work hard during the week.

When I'm just out and about—at the mall, the supermarket, a restaurant, the park, or wherever—seeing an AMWF couple is extremely, extremely rare. Like no lie, I probably come across an AMWF couple (or even just an Asian man and White woman just hanging out) no more than every 5-6 months or so. It's so uncommon that, when I see it, it genuinely catches my eye or makes me do a double take, or mentally go "wow" or "that's interesting."

In stark contrast, I usually see multiple couples comprising a White man and a woman of color every day. The woman is usually of East Asian descent, but I'm seeing more and more Black and South Asian women as well. I see White women with Black men slightly more often than AMWF.

The only place I see any concentration or regular occurence of AMWF relationships is the internet.

In short, the rarity of AMWF that I personally witness lines up with two statistics I'm aware of: Asian female outmarriage being more or less double that of Asian males', and White women dating out less than anyone else.

I think I saw it a bit more often back in college.

Is it just uncommon where I'm at (North Texas/DFW suburbs)?

I hope it's more prevalent elsewhere and that things become more balanced over time.

Ok. So I am a WF (40), and my AM bf (43) is Vietnamese. We live in America. We've been together for 3 months now and were friends for 6 months before dating. I'm scared of meeting his Mom.

Lately, we've been talking about meeting each other's families. He invited me to a concert to meet his mom. I would have gone but he got sick that weekend so we stayed in. I was secretly happy because I was dreading the concert.

Another time I was over his place when he told me his mom would be stopping by. He offered for me to meet her, but I left very quickly. I was scared and not ready.

The reason I'm scared is because he told me that when he told his mom about me she gave him a very disapproving look. She wants him to marry a Vietnamese woman. And I'm not even Asian. Also, I'm 40 and she wants grandkids. So I know she's not happy with his decision to make me his girlfriend.

He told me that "she doesn't get to make that decision for me". But for context, before we got together she kept setting up dates for him with Vietnamese women. He went to appease her but wasn't really interested.

On thanksgiving, he took pictures of himself with his mom and sent them to me. I asked later if he shared any photos of me with her, and he said no "because she would just criticize, that's how she is". He seems to think that she would grow to love me after she met me in person.

I'm scared. He's an amazing boyfriend and I really like him. What should I do to encourage a happy relationship with his mom when I do finally meet her?

Thank you in advance for tips!!

Advise needed from both male and female perspective.

Context: I moved from singapore to Australia 9 years ago with my partner. Unfortunately, I found her unfaithful 4 years ago and I broke off with her, and has been single all these time. Wanting to re-enter the dating market, but didn't know how as I was out for many years. I have tried dating apps but didn't yield anything. Many scammers, OF creator, and flaky profiles.

So I focus on self development all these while, workout more, learning to have social skills, working on a growth mindset, and starting looking after my skin a lot more. As a result, I have glowed up heaps.

About 6 months ago, a mate invited me to clubbing, and I went. To my surprise, I have got many young Caucasian girls giving indication of interest. At that time, I wasn't really confident to approach as I still have doubt in myself, but felt happy that I still have pulling power.

I started going clubbing regularly since then. Even though I club a lot more but I'm not into drinking or smoking or vaping or any stuff that is harmful to my body. At this point, I should let you know that I am in my mid 40s, because I looked after myself, I looked like early 30s to mid-30s.

As I gained more confidence over the months, I approached these WF who have shown interest in me. Now, I start to see a pattern. Most of these girls are in their 20s, and there's 2 who are still in their teenage years. While these WF are beautiful, I feel that they are too young for me. My preferred age range would be 35 to 40, I I don't seem to be attracting these age range. I am attracting a younger age range.

I don't want to be a creep dating WF 15 to 20 years younger than me.

What should I do?

Thank you for reading this long post, and have a merry Christmas.

https://www.tiktok.com/@shadysakura/video/7234711671841869102

https://www.tiktok.com/@callheroppa/video/7228592702839901482

https://www.tiktok.com/@samilearnskorean/video/7362397505662799105

https://www.tiktok.com/@alenagnz/video/7177361591669656837

An extremely disingenuous word used to block White women from being interested in dating Korean men and being curious about Korean culture.

Usually used as a straight out personal attack by non Asian people to emotionally manipulate, shame and discourage.

As the woman in the second video points out, many generations of young girls/women all around the world are completely immersed in American movies, music, and pop culture. Even at the expense of their own local culture.

American/White men have been held up by the Western media as the leading sex symbols for decades and girls/women simply accept it. No-one bats an eyelid.

Places like Los Angeles/California/New York are even glamorized as the coolest and trendiest places in the world despite their actual reality.

As one of the women above question, why is there no such term as 'Americaboo'?

It's puzzling why Korean media, which has only recently become popular, already has a toxic negative phrase used to attack White women who are interested in it.

Even on this sub and other places many White women feel like they have to hide they are Korean media fans, wanting to visit Korea, or interested in dating Korean men to avoid being mocked by non Asian people as 'Koreaboos' or 'fetishizers'.

Where are the same attacks when White and Black men are hyper-sexualized by women in the Western media?

There are none because for some reason it only applies to Asian men.

My Chinese partner will be going home to visit his parents for CNY in a couple of months. We haven’t met each other’s parents yet since him and I live in the UK, and our parents don’t, but our parents are aware of our relationship. I would like to send a gift to his parents when he goes to visit - just to do something nice and to show them that I care about my partner’s family. Also it’s within my culture to give gifts and I genuinely enjoy it.

Any suggestions? Thanks for any advice.

This might be a me problem but any time I used dating apps in the past I noticed that British born Asian men didn't tend to match with me whereas Asian men who moved here later in life matched me back at least 90% of the time. I'm not complaining! Just curious if anyone else has noticed this? If so, is there a reason?

Which group of Asian men do you think have hte most success in AMWF pairings in western countries? These days people say korean men have the most success because of their pop culture thing taking off in the west but if we factor in the whole average.

chinese men, japanese men, korean men, vietnamese men, phillipine men? etc

you could also include chinese - (insert country from the west) men and apply that for korean, japanese, vietnamese, thai etc.

what do you think?

For me, I've noticed that growing up in a (Shanghainese) family where negative communication was the norm has made it challenging for me to express positivity and give affirmations. For example, my mom talks mad shit, has never said anything nice in her life, and etc. - I joke that she's a stereotypical Asian mom on steroids. Anyway, I've noticed that this norm of negativity has rubbed off on me as I find it easier to be negative or sarcastic and struggle with giving positive comments or affirmations.

As an Asian man, I find dating (white) women from cultures that value positive reinforcement quite difficult to navigate, because of the above cultural differences. Similarly, I find it hard to be extremely expressive or overly positive, which is a skill I am currently trying to develop (I am in therapy and I talk about this a lot with my therapist). For my (AM) brothers and (WF) sisters, has anyone else experienced similar challenges due to cultural or familial backgrounds? How have you worked to overcome them, outside of therapy, especially in this cross-cultural situation?