Which group of Asian men do you think have hte most success in AMWF pairings in western countries? These days people say korean men have the most success because of their pop culture thing taking off in the west but if we factor in the whole average.

chinese men, japanese men, korean men, vietnamese men, phillipine men? etc

you could also include chinese - (insert country from the west) men and apply that for korean, japanese, vietnamese, thai etc.

what do you think?

For me, I've noticed that growing up in a (Shanghainese) family where negative communication was the norm has made it challenging for me to express positivity and give affirmations. For example, my mom talks mad shit, has never said anything nice in her life, and etc. - I joke that she's a stereotypical Asian mom on steroids. Anyway, I've noticed that this norm of negativity has rubbed off on me as I find it easier to be negative or sarcastic and struggle with giving positive comments or affirmations.

As an Asian man, I find dating (white) women from cultures that value positive reinforcement quite difficult to navigate, because of the above cultural differences. Similarly, I find it hard to be extremely expressive or overly positive, which is a skill I am currently trying to develop (I am in therapy and I talk about this a lot with my therapist). For my (AM) brothers and (WF) sisters, has anyone else experienced similar challenges due to cultural or familial backgrounds? How have you worked to overcome them, outside of therapy, especially in this cross-cultural situation?

So my husband, mother-in-law and I went to a mid-size mall in Toronto, Canada with the intention of looking for some gold jewelry to purchase and put away for our daughters' future weddings. They recently opened a Chow Tai Fook store and I'd heard they carry gold hair ornaments (something we were specifically interested in.) When we arrived, there was a line-up, no big deal so we wait with two couples ahead of us. When our turn comes, the doorman asks my mother-in-law in Canto if she wants to wait for a dedicated salesperson.

She explains (in English as Canto is her 4th language) that her son and daughter in law want to see the styles they carry and if they want an agent, they will come back and wait for an agent after having a look around. He then says, "okay" and moves the "please wait" sign aside to allow us to enter. Except that's not what happens. He let's my mother-in-law and husband enter and then physically pushes me back with the sign and puts the sign in front of me and loudly says "wait!" This is store doorman by the way, not the security guard who looked shocked at the interaction. I tell him that's my husband and mother-in-law you just let in ahead of me and he moved the sign and allowed me to enter without even saying sorry.

I told him that was extremely rude and he just waved me off. I was so put off that I didnt even bother to look, simply called out to my mother-in-law and husband and said I was leaving and would never spend a penny there.

Am I blowing this out of proportion? I can't help but feel like he did that because I'm white and my husband and MIL are Chinese. Do I call the store and tell them what happened, or just let it go?

To clarify there are fboys who are wanting you to get to the hotel as fast as possible or toxic Asians but majority of Asians are introverted/or not the type to walk up, like any other human Asians also vary in personality anyways most Asians won’t be the one to approach either because of lack of English or thought of foreign women not liking Asians or shyness in general most relationships in Asia are friends to lovers or someone introduced or in the friends group it’s very rare for Asians to be active on dating apps or at the club and more likely at a restaurant/cafe or home studying or reading manhwa/watching anime. The guys on interviews are usually extroverted and walking around the party areas most Asians won’t approach or get on a interview for the same reasons like shyness or being introverted

I'm a 28 year old, 6'2 AM and I live in Asia. Most of my previous relationships have been with WFs, because I'm more attracted to them and also tend to get along better with them for multiple reasons. I was educated in the US, mainly consumed US media growing up and have an American accent so I find it easier to communicate with WFs (especially American WFs) than local AFs who don't speak English as well and might not get my jokes, pop culture references etc.

I do decently well on dating apps and get 4-5 matches per day and generally don't have an issue with getting dates. But I'm curious which cities in Asia I would get the best dating results in, especially if I'm looking for a WF. A lot of the WFs I match with are just here for a few days and therefore it's difficult to really pursue something serious. I know most people on this subreddit are in the US, but moving back to America isn't an option for me because I would need a visa, and most companies aren't keen on hiring foreigners these days (so please don't suggest moving there because it's not realistic). I also think that in some ways, being in Asia is better because the WFs who move here are already somewhat more openminded and therefore might be more willing to date someone outside their race. What do you guys think?

Ok so, my future in-laws gave me this necklace today. I’m in love with it. When it was given to me they emphasized that due to the ‘s’ looking clasp and gold that it shouldn’t be taken on and off in order not to damage it. My fiancés father and mother both have similar necklaces in different shapes/marking. Hers is jade and his is a white colored stone. (he didn’t seem like he wanted me to touch it to look at it closer very much. They also emphasized that I should keep it on because of the significance of it ( maybe the jade stone) or something.. however it can be incredibly hard to understand with my huge lack of knowledge and their broken English. For context I am white girl white and my fiancé is Chinese and Vietnamese, first generation born in America.

I understand there is apps like Tinder, Bumble, Hinge, etc but those don't focus on the niche of AM and WF relationships/dating.

I see people here with their partner and looking happy, etc but where did you find your partner? Dating site or apps, etc?

Recently I have come to the understanding that most European background women don't care to date outside their race, and so most of the time you are attracted to one and they don't reciprocate anything back.

Any advice on where to meet WFs who do want to date an AM?

Thanks everybody, have a great day!

I will make the assumption that many of the WFs here have thin, high bridge noses. If you're currently dating an Asian man, do you find this wide/flat nose attractive and why?

If he looks so much different than a Euro centric man who is considered average or above average, why not just date the white guy with the more prominent/sharp nose like yourself?

Ive heard lots of stories from people in AMWF relationships about the huge cultural difference between East Asian and European/American mentality. One of the girl i know told me that she was dating a Chinese guy who lived in China, and they literally couldn't find anything to talk about because they were just too different, he wanted her to change something about herself and for Europeans its a huge disrespect while in his culture its seems normal even desirable to change for your partner (?) Another one was saying that the guy lacked the ability of critical thinking, he echoed the same old shit everyone else were spoon fed with. Before i got married i met some Asian guys and i have noticed that there was some really big differences between us, with literally everything in life from the way of talking/mentality to mundane things such as shows we watch/music we listen to. i was baffled first time in my life that "cultural differences" does indeed exist,before i thought there is no such thing and its just a racist concept. Even when i was living in Europe my friends were mostly Arabs and Desis and i have never noticed any major difference,my husband himself is a 4th gen Qatari of Central Asian origin so he is more Arab than anything else,with him everything was so familiar, we had a lot in common. Im not talking about people (both AM or WF) whos are Kpop stans/Anime fans or something like that, because obviously they will have things in common. What are your thoughts on this?

For example, if you were dating a white lady, and you liked Licorice Pizza and Breakfast at Tiffany's, do you purposely avoid watching these with GF since you are afraid she will laugh at the "jokes" or accents used in some scenes for both?

And in the off chance you view a new movie or show and something racist happened, are you worried or judging how your GF would react to what she's watching?

Like would you dump her if she laughed or enjoyed said scenes?

My bf, AM45, who is originally from Hong Kong doesn't really compliment me. Is this normal for a relationship with someone from that side of Asia? I know that compliments in general aren't that common in relationships in Japan for example (obviously I haven't done any market research, but YouTube videos by English speaking Japanese people i have come across in my time, have given me this insight!).

I don't want to generalise too broadly over the continent, but I also can't find any articles on Google where people have mentioned similar.

.. I'm wondering if this is normal and it needs to be a brief like "I'd like it if you mentioned things you like about me/our time together" or if it needs to be a deeper conversation..

For context, I'm WF 35. This is both of ours first AMWF relationship. If this was a WM, I'd probably assume he wasn't that in to me, but this guy asked if I wanted to move in with him after 3 months of dating.. so.. I mean, good sign, right? He also likes to lightly stroke my face and look at me before he kisses me (in the strict privacy of the house, because he's too shy to do any more physical contact than holding hands in public.).

I'm used to being complimented/people liking my fashion taste, but this guy literally doesn't say a thing. I asked him if he liked my shoes the other month and he said "The laces are long." And I laughed because that did not answer the question (I assumed from this he hates my shoes.)...

TLDR; AM born in Hong Kong doesn't compliment me, WF born in the U.K. doesn't compliment how I dress. Once mentioned liking my hair. I'm used to WM being complimentary to me and my style. Is this culture or something deeper?

First post in this sub, please be kind. I am seeing many reditors that have found or are finding their partners in USA and Europe. I barely read any post on partners meeting in Asia.

For context, I'm a humble AM26 from Singapore, looking to make friends with WF, and hopefully progress further if things work out. There are many expats in my country but most are not in my age group. I tried dating apps but most are way younger than me. I don't really know where else I can go to meet WF organically or online.

Any of you WF redditors in Singapore? Maybe we can have a chill chat and meet up someday haha. You may also dm me for any questions.

Thanks for the read. Bless all the couples in this sub!

So I have met a girl who is half White and half Hispanic, we both are date to marry type so this topic came to discussion. She likes her last name, I don’t mind changing mine to her, and we both understand that our future children is of American culture and I don’t really like my last name, so having my last name was thrown out quick. We both thinking if I should have her last name or I should keep mine, she keep hers just simply pass down her last name to our children. We also thought about hyphenate but since my last name is a really short Chinese one with only 3 letters and hers is pretty long we think it won’t mix well. I wanted to change to hers but it might causes confusion with future job interviews and stuff if they are expecting a white male based on the last name.

Any of y’all who is married, what option should I take, we both keep our own or I take hers?

Hey guys I came across this subreddit and considering I'm Vietnamese and my wife is born and raised in Texas, I thought I fit the description.

I see some of the posts being about people feeling discouraged from some or other sorts of demeaning treatment (either it be feeling like you're not as valued as white men, or not being Japanese and Korean and feeling you're not as valued as Japanese or Korean).

I just need to get this off my chest. Yes, how you feel is reasonable and you shouldn't let anyone gaslight you into thinking you're just delusional or overthinking it. There are a lot of disadvantages and struggles that you face, especially if you're in a Western country like I am. And it is totally natural to feel some pressure from that.

However, don't ever take that lying down. Don't ever define yourselves as victims. The black community has faced lots of discrimination in the past. They fought for their representation. They dominated NBA and the music industry. And with the strong and growing presence of Asian media we have now in the West, along with some phenomenal athletes that have made a name for themselves recently (Shohei in the MLB for example), this is the best time for you to fight for your representation as well. You're a fighter, not a victim. Remember that.

In the mean time if you ever feel like you're less of a man because some dumb ignorant person said that to you once or twice, let it roll off you and strive to prove to yourself they're wrong. Work out, pick up sports, learn good social skills, learn empathy, be bold and extend your friend circles, be good at a niche and have influence, etc. Whatever you do, don't wallow in the misery, keep moving forward. It worked for me and it can work for you too. Fighting!

I know women like Korean men and maybe Japanese men, but I feel not confident and slightly ashamed of being Chinese.

Women tend to not like Chinese over say Korean or Japanese.

Has anyone ever lied about what type of Asian they are, or is this likely not a good idea?

I am the WF. Well, technically the half-WF in my relationship (I am wasian). I married my husband relatively recently but we’ve been together a long time. For context, I grew up essentially in his culture even though I’m not from that Asian ethnicity myself, so I’m generally very familiar with customs, food, etc. That said, since my parents aren’t from that culture I don’t know everything like the language or sometimes specific table manners for example.

I find my husband will occasionally make hurtful comments towards me based on my culture. Like “oh she’s white, of course she doesn’t know that,” or just “white people” pejoratively.

Probably the most hurtful thing was when I started taking lessons to learn his language. I’ve always wanted to learn it for myself and wanted to be able to communicate with his family etc, and I thought he could be my language learning partner. But he just would say that what I was learning was “too formal, no one says that, why are you bothering to learn?” And he said that trying to communicate with me in it felt cringey because it was like I was a three year old trying to talk with him.

Has anyone else experienced this? It feels weird to feel so “othered” by his comments but I don’t know if this is maybe a cultural expectation and I’m overreacting.

any of you ever wondered how the asian american men that are successful at dating white women or non asian women in america succeed? so far from what the statistics show amwf pairups are still pretty low compared to the overall group of interracial pairups. What i mean by that is what is it that they're doing that yields them the success that they got?

because if it's the common traits such as being in shape, or confident, or funny witty, charismatic, approaching etc if that were the case than why are the amwf pairings still so low in america? or is there more to it than what meets the eye beyond the obvious?

what do you think?

This is a spur of the moment post. I just want to thank all you WF/XF here who love our asian culture.

Thank you ❤️.

Obviously we know that in Western society generally, AMWF is rare compared with WMAF. But you could at least say that normal people aren't aware about the social forces that are affecting their preferences.

However, I have noticed about spaces where you have more educated and sympathetic people, where people better understand or even study the Asian experience, that the same thing happens there too, which is perhaps more surprising.

An example I have seen is looking at Asian studies faculties at colleges. I have often seen that the male professors will have AF partners but the female professors will not.

I have more often seen white guys who have been journalists specializing in East Asia, or have written books about Asian food and culture, having AFs partners than I have seen white women doing the same having an AM partner.

Preference is formed by forces in society as well as exposure to other people and cultures, both while growing up and experience over time. So how do you think the disparity can be explained in spaces like specialist college faculties where you would expect more of a balance?

Obviously I am speaking quite generally here so sorry if that annoys people. All comments will be taken with a grain of salt.

If your anecdotal experience of spaces like these is the complete opposite of mine I would like to hear it and happy to be proven wrong.

Looking for recommendations!

I know there's some western TV shows and movies featuring AMWF romance, and it's becoming more and more common these days to see AMWF in the real world. But one type of media where I haven't really seen AMWF is K-dramas. It's ironic since it was the popularity of K-dramas that led to an explosion in perceived desirability of Asian men around the world, but when it comes to the actual K-dramas themselves, it seems like AMWF is nowhere to be found and all the couples are AMAF. Granted, I'm not a huge K-drama expert so I've only seen the most well known ones like Squid Game, but I've literally never heard of a K-drama starring an AMWF couple. Can anyone point me in the direction of a show like this, or does it actually not exist?

Update 1: She agreed to revise with me on Wednesday along with a couple of friends. I’ll ask her out after the study session and let y’all know the result. (I didn’t ask her out on Tuesday as she was absent.)

Update 2: She said she was busy this week so I plan to try again next Tuesday after the exam. If that fails, so be it.

Update 3: I ultimately got rejected as she said she isn’t interested. Thanks for all your support, it’s been a good run and I’d now be able to more efficiently search for the one.

Background: I (19M) am currently studying at a university in the Southeast. I am an immigrant from East Asia but people generally assume that I am U.S. born and raised based on my rather-Americanized accent. 

Starting this semester, I have developed a crush on this Italian-American girl (19F) in my physics class, let's call her “Anna” for the purpose of this post. We have four class sessions per week. From what Anna told me, she was raised in a mid-Atlantic city (not going to specify which). I also happened to be her lab partner for that mutual class (we have a separate lab session every week), and to be fair that was how I got to know her. 

I believe I have quite a lot in common with Anna. Academically speaking, both of us are into mathematics, given that she is a math major and I am an Electrical Engineering major. Both of us are more introverted. Outside of class, both of us love skiing and exercising. I have known Anna for approximately 3 weeks, and so far we have had some good conversations on our common hobbies. We also complement each other quite well during labs.

Right now, I have managed to get into Anna’s friend group (around 5-7 people). We revise together on homework and exams once per week for a few hours minimum. I also managed to find extra commonalities with one of Anna’s closer girl friends, due to my ability to speak Russian as a fourth language (in which that friend is quite impressed with my vocab and accent). I am not sure how I can make use of this situation to my advantage.

I really want to bring our relationship further, and ultimately I hope to make her my girlfriend. But I am unsure how exactly I should execute my steps. This is made worse by my deep-rooted insecurities stemming from my childhood - I have been that stereotypical fat kid all along until finally shredding more than 50lbs of fat last summer. Back in high school, the culture was very academic-focused, which further prevented me from forming dating experiences. I now weigh 174lbs (79kg) and am at 6’0 (183cm) but subconsciously I still have a repulsive self-image in mind. It does not help that Asian men are generally not positively depicted by Western media, which is an additional insecurity on my side. Luckily, I am slowly getting rid of such intrusive thoughts after having received subtle signals from a few girls. 

Despite all the outstanding insecurities, I decided it is time to chin up and try pursue Anna. I believe she is one of the few girls in school embedded with a strong sense of modesty, which is very important, if not a dealbreaker, for me as a Christian. Therefore I would rather get rejected than to miss out such an opportunity, so my goal is more so getting an idea on how to approach her, instead of whether I should do so or not. 

To more effectively gauge her current level of interest, I have briefly summarized some of my observations of her behaviors:

1. Anna approached me saying she recognizes me from last semester’s class (frankly I did not have much of an impression of her back then). That was during our first lab after I sat besides her.
2. Anna seemed rather excited after learning that I am into skiing and that I am in the same Ski club, even asking if I went to the club’s Christmas ski trip (which I did).
3. Anna engages well with me when I ask her questions (giving mid-to-long responses) and generally returns questions to me.
4. Anna followed me back on Instagram (given she only follows 70% of her followers back).
5. She seems generally comfortable around me, although she still keeps a little bit of space from me (which is frankly something that I also do).
6. It took Anna 4 days to accept my follow request, and she hasn’t viewed any of my stories (4 of them since she followed me) yet. But tbf she does not seem active on the gram (judging by how sparingly she likes/ comments on posts of even her closest friends).
7. She occasionally seems more shy around me than around others.

My current plan is to ask whether Anna wants to hang out with me. I am thinking about dinner after lab (as lab sessions end at 7:30-ish) but am wondering whether that is too big of a leap. I also don’t want to seem too out of the blue with my actions but after all I am willing to take the risk of rejection and showing her an appropriate amount of interest on my side. 

Please leave suggestions on how I should engage/ invite her out. 

TLDR: I'm a 19M Electrical Engineering major, and I've developed a crush on "Anna," an Italian-American girl in my physics class and lab partner. We have a lot in common, from academics to shared hobbies like skiing. I'm in her friend group and trying to figure out how to move things forward and make her my girlfriend. Despite deep insecurities from my past, like being overweight and feeling the pressure of Western media stereotypes about Asian men, I'm determined to pursue her. I've noticed some positive signs from her (along with some potentially negative signs), but I'm unsure how to approach asking her out, like maybe inviting her to dinner after lab. Looking for advice!

So I recently watched Never Forever (which, by the way, was sooo good), and now I’m on the hunt for more movies with that AMWF (Asian Male, White Female) dynamic. Loved how Never Forever handled the relationship—it was emotional, intense, and just super compelling.

I’m looking for something with a similar vibe, maybe a bit more modern if possible. And if it’s got that heartstring-pulling drama or romance, even better! You know what I mean? 😊

Thanks in advance, y’all! 🙌

I've always had a preference for Asian men and have had since good long term relationships over the years but for the past few years I am constantly getting rejected on dating apps or Reddit and told that I'm not their "type"

Currently I'm a normal body weight not overweight at all, fit in shape nice curves , average height and average/above average looks I would say brown hair brown eyes white skin I'm Irish German and Italian mix In the past exes have said my face resembled Emma stone Also in the past I was significantly overweight but I still had positive dates and relationship before

I really don't understand what they are searching for and it's frustrating me to the point that I think I am considering not dating asian men at all anymore

I've had long term partners in the past who were asian and happy relationships while they lasted but something has just changed in the past years not sure what. I'm really not judgemental as to what people look like. I would say I'm average/slightly above average. I literally don't care about looks much, just a pleasant face, don't care about their height weight I really am searching for a compatible person in personality and lifestyle which are most important to me and I just cannot find one. Qualities being wanting monogamy loyalty and similar lifestyle I don't drink don't smoke I'm not promiscuous I'm childfree and spiritual.

Should I give up?

Edit: Please reply to the post here and don't send me private messages

I'm looking for answers from the community

thank you

Does anyone have any book recommendations?

For example, maybe you're a WF from the US Midwest, and you're curious about East Asian-British guys who sound like Colin Firth, or maybe something closer to home like the experience of Asian guys from West Virginia. Hell, maybe you're even just curious about Asian guys in the Midwest, if you've not met any yet!

I exclude Asian Asian guys from this answer because it's probably relatively easier to find information about and examples of 'typical' guys who come direct from Asian countries.

Ok so I thought of this one time how on forums like this if you had to summarize it in a nutshell is for asian men having a harder time dating in a western country and trying to get with women from other ethnicities (white or Hispanic or black etc) they're asking for tips or complaining about difficulty they perceive /deal with.

I get it the internet is not real life and it's basically a microphone that can amplify anything by 1000 folds.

So my question is you guys know how over the generations Asian men in western countries assimilate to the new mother country. For example you don't really hear about Japanese American men 4th/5th generation really complain about dating in western countries. When do you think we will no longer see Asian men in western countries complain about the difficulties they face in dating or need anymore tips (on average) For example the 22nd century? 23rd century? 24th century etc...

So far Asian men have come to Western countries since the 1840s so it's been 184 years do you think the progress has been fast enough?

I don't specify the ethnicity/race because I think the points I outline below apply to all women who are brought up in Western countries in a predominately western way.

1. Social circles - some girls in some social circles will never date an Asian guy. These girls believe if they date outside their social circle, it will degrade themselves within that social circle. These girls look for a certain type of guy to fit in within that social circle. It is not culturally acceptable for a women to date an Asian man. There is a stigma and she will lose social value for dating someone from a group considered to be low value and unaccepted by her culture.
2. Lack of knowledge - from my experience, most girls have never talked to an Asian guy before. Asian guys are just people in the background, they never imagine an Asian guy as a partner because there are a ton of white men that are their natural fit. the concept to the majority of them is inconceivable.
3. Comfort zone - Women are worried about stepping out of their comfort zone and dating a guy who's another race/ethnicity. These girls tend to be very ingrained in white culture and breaking away would be too big a change fro the string of white men in their past. I can see how it would be taboo to brig home some Asian or black guy to their parents when all their lives they imagined have white grandchildren.
4. Cultural fit - I would argue that the most important thing that this sub misses is the fact that you have to fit into their cultural ballpark. In other words, you should present as someone of a subculture familiar to the girl; whether that's styling, values or lifestyle. Much of dating is having to abide by social norms of the culture you are dating in. Women oftentimes have an ideal guy in their heads which they want to date, whether that's from what the media ingrained in her or her friends, family and surroundings. So if you fit that bill, she might be receptive to you. However, if you present yourself as being from an unaccepted subculture, your chances are much lower for obvious reasons. Also, you gotta keep in mind that if you date her, she's probably going to one day present you to her friends and family members. Women in general have strong in-group biases and if you don't fit her cultural ballpark, then it becomes weird. 
5. Expectations - Many of the women attracted to Asian men are not the ones that would be considered conventionally attractive to men. It's common to see obese Otaku women obsessed with Korean and Japanese men because they watch too much anime.