/r/ABCDesis

Photograph via snooOG

ABCDesis (Abroad-Born Confused Desis) is a place for members of the South Asian diaspora who were raised outside of South Asia to share their experiences and be a part of the collective global Desi diaspora community.

South Asian Diaspora

Our purpose at /r/ABCDesis is to foster a sense of community among the South Asian diaspora.

While this subreddit has been named 'ABCDesis', commonly used as an abbreviation for American Born Confused Desi, this subreddit is for ALL people of South Asian heritage who have migrated away from South Asia, no matter how many generations ago.

This subreddit is also for anyone who is not of South Asian heritage and those that still reside in South Asia to gain a perspective into the lives of South Asians who have migrated abroad. We just ask that you respect the community it is intended for in how you discuss and interact.

Thank you and please enjoy your visit!

SCHEDULED THREADS:
  • Sunday: Dating
  • Monday: Entertainment
  • Tuesday: Career & Academic advice [1]
  • Wednesday: Banter
  • Thursday: Tiffin Thursday
  • Friday: Eff Yeah Friday!
  • Saturday: Fashion & Fitness

[1] — posted every 1st and 3rd Tuesday

[2] — an ‘introduce yourself’ thread will be posted during the first week of each month

Click here to see our wiki for more detailed info about /r/ABCDesis, including our Crisis Resources list and other original material, community-sourced info, and related subreddits.


[C]

While the origin of ABCD has the "C" standing in for "confused", we've chosen to leave its interpretation up to our members. Confused or Confident. Charismatic, Creative, or Cunning, we are what we make of ourselves and every experience is different.


Rules

1. No Bigotry

No racism, casteism, sexism, homophobia, transphobia, etc. This also extends to toxic nationalism and/or clan/tribe as well as discrimination against religion. If in doubt, remember to always be civil, even in your disagreements.

2. Keep It Civil

No matter how correct you may (or may not) be in your discussion or argument, if the post is insulting, it will be removed with potential further penalties. Remember to keep civil at all times. We also have zero tolerance for doxxing.

3. No Trolling/Brigading

This includes topics such as toxic masculinity, white worshiping discussions, religious slander, 'FOBs' vs 'ABCDs' topics. Brigading from hate subs will also result in bans.

4. No Low Effort/Repetitive Posts

Posts that require little effort such as a simple meme or posts where the discussion has already been posted recently and has garnered attention will be removed.

5. Relationship or Family Related Posts On Weekly Thread

Any dating/relationship/family related questions should be on the weekly threads in order to prevent clutter. Threads that are created outside of these will be removed without a valid explanation to the mod team beforehand.

6. No Misleading Submission Titles

Submission titles of web pieces must be comprised only of the copied and pasted headline of the piece, a continuous quote taken from the piece, or both the headline and a continuous quote taken from the piece. Submission titles should provide clarity.

7. No Discussion of South Asian Politics

No discussion of South Asian politics. Topics or comments that fall into political discussions of issues current/past in South Asian countries will be removed as they are not relevant to the primary demographic of this community. Discussion of diaspora politics that are relevant to the Desi community are permitted. Topics that may be based in South Asia but deal or can be linked with the South Asian diaspora directly are allowed provided it does not break any of the other rules.

8. No Advertising Without Mod Approval

If you would like to advertise a survey, your own media creation, or anything else, please seek approval from the Mod team before posting. Submissions without prior approval will be removed. If your submission comes through the Modqueue, it will be assessed there.

9. Reddit Content Policy

Violations of Reddit's Content Policy are not allowed, and may result in a ban from both this sub and Reddit. Reddit Content Policy rules include (but are not limited to): no spamming or ban evasion; no revealing personal or confidential information; no sexual or suggestive content involving minors; and no linking or sharing of illegal content.

Submission guidelines and content restrictions

1. Don’t link to porn.

2. Use link flairs when possible. They help draw wanted attention to your posts.

3. Use the No Participation domain when directing to other comment threads on reddit.

**4. Only post about dating, relationship, and family issues in the weekly threads. However, moderators will make exceptions for time-sensitive situations if communicated prior.


Credit to user /u/ck2875 for the subreddit design; Sidebar images from instagram users: hatecopy, RajPattanam, cheekybillo, mari_young_park and parvati_pillai.

/r/ABCDesis

94,116 Subscribers

27

A reminder to fellow Indians, election is over, but the Green card wait will not change

Now that the election's over, here’s a reminder to all Indians in the US: the country-based green card cap isn’t going anywhere. If you look at the history, Republicans have consistently opposed lifting this cap, which disproportionately affects Indians. Republicans don't want to change so called "Legal immigration" problem. They just don't care about Indians, whatever Vivek says he is doing to to get a position in the White house or enter politics like Governor of Ohio.

The recent hype around Elon Musk being 'pro-legal immigration' sounds nice, but even Trump has tried this before to change it, he needs his party in Congress to support it—and they’ve repeatedly voted against doing so.

Check out the Wikipedia article on the RAISE Act for more on this: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/RAISE_Act

"The 2017 bill (in the 115th Congress) did not receive a vote in the Senate. A similar immigration bill[1] supported by then president Trump was defeated in 2018 on a 39–60 vote. In 2019 (during the 116th Congress), Cotton, Perdue, and other Republicans re-introduced the legislation. The bill failed to advance."

https://preview.redd.it/svv4r1sduxzd1.png?width=1125&format=png&auto=webp&s=a125743435cf745df9c27f749511260e2a6164f3

50 Comments
2024/11/09
20:46 UTC

37

Why does it seem like desis broadly are unintersted in worker rights/unions?

It is generally seen as a "right wing" position to say that a big reason for importing high amounts of Indians in place like Canada was to get slave labour and because indians are more compliant, willing to work shitty jobs for low pay and non unionize. However this doesnt seem enitrely untrue and does draw on some of my own observations. Its not just immigrants as well, but even for desis who have grown up in the west, there definitely seems to be a cultural gap and general aloofness about unionization/workers rights. As a group we just don't seem to care as much.

I used to work at a unionized place in a very brown city and around mostly brown coworkers. The most actively involved people were older white folks and they overall seemed to have alot more awareness of workers rights. Even when we went on strike one time a disproportionate number of desis didnt even bother showing up.

Similalry my friend who worked at air Canada told me that during his union meeting the older folks (who had better benefits back when unions were stronger) told their younger coworkers (mostly desis) that they aren't fighting as hard or actively involved as they should be and as a reuslt are losing their benefits.

Even looking at the subcontient as an outsider, unions seems non existent and i don't even know if they have any power as i never hear anything about them on the news as much as i do about tata, ambani, infosys etc. It seems like evryone is clawing each other's face to get one miserable underpaid overworked job. But even for the people who do get the job they become extra defensive corporate drones and lackeys for management who kick the ladder once the reach their destination so to speak. There doesn't seem to be any solidarity.

Anyways these are just very broad generalizations. I'm wondering if anyone has more context and nuance on this issue.

40 Comments
2024/11/09
15:01 UTC

19

A bit niche but any Canadian Tamils remember this?

7 Comments
2024/11/09
08:45 UTC

0

Does anyone else here follow the Indian Tech pro crowd on Twitter?

I'm talking about the following types of people

Balajis

Naval

I find them very insightful

A shame if they were involved on some shady business, but a quick search seems to be that they are not for now

10 Comments
2024/11/09
03:44 UTC

60

For those in the Toronto area. You clearly are seeing parallels between the Latinos who turned towards Trump in an effort to reduce undocumented members their communities and what's going on in the GTA right?

I'm just going to lay it out. Bare here compare the following

https://youtu.be/jD0cOMYc2tY?si=ApKaZ8XVEZuP8AQn

https://x.com/truckdriverpleb/status/1846709179618079018?t=jinGyeb7viyBi486qOc3gw&s=19

I mean they are similar situations but I just find it hilarious. How they almost perfectly mirror each other

Edit: here is another one. read the comments here

24 Comments
2024/11/09
03:39 UTC

0

Navagraha Stotram

Most powerful hymn to align planets in our favour. SATURDAY is a best day to learn and recite. Doing it everyday makes our life less stressful. https://youtu.be/GUwdl8A8564?si=EeK_yVwO9GSqlAWc

1 Comment
2024/11/09
02:55 UTC

0

Should South Asians other than Pakistanis be allowed to say the word "paki"?

The word paki has been considered a racial slur in the UK for a long time. It has also spread to north america and has been considered one here too. I was interested in knowing people's opinions whether or not people of Indian, Bengali, Sri Lankan and other South Asians other than Pakistanis should be using this term. My personal opinion as a paki is no.

Though people of brown skin in general may have been called the slur, it is short for Pakistani after all. An Indian person wouldn't identify as a paki, so that means one shouldn't be using that word.

This is why it rubbed me the wrong way when an Indian person referred to me a paki right infront of me. Not a huge deal but felt strange. What are other people's thoughts?

57 Comments
2024/11/08
21:56 UTC

26

Brampton, ON is on strike - as FYI

Brampton's transit system is currently on strike, causing major disruptions to daily commutes. For those living outside of Ontario or Canada, this news may not hold much significance. However, for locals, it has been two days since any buses have been running in or out of the city.

Wanted to pass this message along if someone coming to Brampton, ON..

Brampton is Brampton… again another headache for residents..

6 Comments
2024/11/08
20:01 UTC

0

Chanakya's 7 leadership lessons

1 Comment
2024/11/08
15:10 UTC

73

White people, especially young white men, feel as if they are disenfranchised. Anyone with personal experience to support this?

According to Pew Research, 48% of white people believe they face discrimination. 30% believe that discrimination towards white people has increased more than it has towards any other group in the past 5 years.

This perception seems to be what has allowed Trump to win the popular vote among this demographic for three consecutive elections.

Has anyone here witnessed such discrimination or disenfranchisement firsthand? Would love to get a better idea of why they feel this way.

67 Comments
2024/11/08
14:32 UTC

17

Survey (Racism faced by Indians abroad)

I am doing a survey for my final sociology project and collecting information about the racism faced against Indians abroad, I hope you guys take the time to fill this short survey which will allow us to gain a clearer insight from actual Indians living abroad and those who have travelled abroad, and also allow me to get a good score on my project. Even if you have not faced any racism do give the survey for that is also material and shows the reality. Please share your experiences in the link below.

https://forms.gle/WfK3LuveJNvHzDeJ7

17 Comments
2024/11/08
10:52 UTC

3

Friday Free-For-All

The weekly discussion thread is a free-for-all. This thread will be posted every Friday at 9 AM BST.

Career news, fitness tips, personal stories, delicious things you've eaten recently, shows you've watched, books you've read - anything goes. And if you're new, please introduce yourself! We want to get to know you - plus you might find a friend or two!

3 Comments
2024/11/08
09:00 UTC

0

Trump vowed to end birth right citizenship! What are you views on it? I actually support it

34 Comments
2024/11/08
02:23 UTC

0

Ladies what’s your dream: Tradwife or boss babe

Personally, I grew up in a pretty traditional environment so I always saw future me as being a tradwife. And that’s what I currently am right now !

What about you ladies ?

View Poll

27 Comments
2024/11/08
00:11 UTC

79

Surge in anti-Indian racism in Canada

Indo-Canadian told to go "back to where I came from" at least a dozen times (both online and in the real world).

https://www.reddit.com/r/britishcolumbia/comments/1gleamo/feeling_very_depressed_about_the_state_of_my/

23 Comments
2024/11/07
22:38 UTC

0

Triangle Indian community speaks on Usha Vance making history

60 Comments
2024/11/07
20:48 UTC

153

Roommate obsessing over smell of Indian food. What to do?

A little over a year ago, my GF and I moved in with a couple friends (let’s call them X and Y) into a house they bought on a whim and needed roommates to help with house payments. Everything has been pretty chill until recently, when we (my gf and I) started cooking Indian food once or twice a week. Nothing fancy, mainly Rajma Chawal and Palak Paneer and we keep the recipes pretty simple. One morning about a month ago, X politely asked me if I can ventilate longer after cooking as the smell is too strong for him. I thought that was more than reasonable so I started ventilating longer and set up a few fans with the windows open. Less than a week later, he brought it up again and went on a spiel about how landlords don’t like to rent to Indians because the food smell stays in the walls and furniture for a long time. I said fine, I’ll start cleaning the surfaces better, light a scented candle, run a diffuser, and boil some orange peels/vinegar to help dissipate the smell. Fast forward another week he wants me to buy Ozium spray and spray it around the house after cooking, but something tells me it won’t stop there. He has also proposed some kind of Ozone fan device that is pretty expensive, a gas grill for us to cook Indian food in the backyard, and using fewer spices (i dont use very many to begin with). I invited a couple non-desi friends over on separate occasions to see if it really is that bad and they said they don’t smell a thing. I often find X and Y trying to air out the house for hours on end to get rid of this mystery smell in the mornings and evenings. It seems they really want us to stop cooking Indian food, but I can’t help but feel that this is some sort of control thing or a mental condition like OCD. We’re not gonna stop cooking Indian food because we pay for the space and do everything we reasonably can to mitigate the smell. It’s also a much cheaper option and has helped us be healthier overall. I’m also not gonna buy an Industrial exhaust fan for $2500 (yes he proposed this as well). What to do? They’re a bit neurotic so if I bring up terminating the lease they might have a mental breakdown and try to fuck us on the deposit + bridges could be burned with other mutual friends.

100 Comments
2024/11/07
20:42 UTC

0

Anyone happy that Trump won?

Seems like Reddit is an echo chamber for liberalism but with Trump winning the popular vote by a landslide there has to be people who voted for Trump on this sub 😂

108 Comments
2024/11/07
18:22 UTC

145

IK this has nothing to do with elections but

my friend who's white took a snap of me and sent it in a random groupchat and thought she clicked out fast enough for me not to see the "Sandeep" jokes 😐. I mean I go to a predominantly white school, but like idk white people acting like Indians smell bad, clearly haven't been stuck in a bus with varsity football players before. It js pisses me off, ik it pisses a lot of people off too, but its crazy how I almost expect people to degrade me in their heads because of my culture when in fact most dont't gaf, and that something I need to work on. But everytime I start, another incident changes my mind.

33 Comments
2024/11/07
14:21 UTC

104

To people who still hold their “homeland” as their true home… Just go back to your so called homeland I’m sick and tired of these khalistanis and other Indian goons ruining the reputation of other desi people

Same goes to the religious nuts too like that Pakistani guy crossing the border to kill Jews in US

108 Comments
2024/11/07
14:11 UTC

3

Why order ABDs identify with Black and Latino culture

I see a lot of people discussing ABDs using AA vernacular, slang, the N word ending in A and acceptance of black culture among older ABDs and wanted to provide a perspective that younger ABDs and ABDs outside of places with huge Desi populations may not see or understand

I am borderline Gen Z/Millenial and growing up there was no Desi culture aside from bootleg Bollywood movies, the run down Indian sweet shop and Indian gas stations that carried basic Indian products.

You couldn’t immerse yourself in the culture of your cousins or grandparents because it cost like $20 for 20 minutes and you would have to buy an international calling card to call them and hope it didn’t get wasted by the connection cutting in an out on their end

We were not blessed to have access to our culture unless it was in proximity to white people simply because they were the ones practicing aspects of Indian culture such as Yoga or for example, none of my ABD friends in my generation know the movie “Kal Ho Na Ho” but I have had white friends, teachers and even random people at bars tell me they’ve seen the movie and at times even know all the words! In a place growing up that was White dominant in the south!

We didn’t have access to our culture and so we ingratiated ourselves with the communities closest to us at the time: Latinos and African Americans. With Latinos it was harder due to the language barrier but past that most of the time they would accept us and think of us as Latino until we told them otherwise.

With African American culture it was the ONLY culture that did not have a language barrier to be “a part” of their group and they generally accepted us even if we were different. This lead to a lot of people in our generation identifying at times entirely with the black community for better or worse because we didn’t have access to our own culture and were outsiders to even those that were from the Motherland

I’m not saying it’s right or wrong, I’m saying there’s a reason the older generation behaved in certain ways (That the younger generation doesn’t have much of an excuse for anymore) We might not be black/latino but this was the only space many of us were allowed to be ourselves, Indian and American, in.

13 Comments
2024/11/07
14:07 UTC

0

Can we stop with these Kamala lost posts? Most of the people here aren’t even Americans! It’s getting so annoying at this point

20 Comments
2024/11/07
12:55 UTC

17

How does trumps win effect us in Europe?

I think this is going to just increase hatred towards immigrants (regardless of them being legal or illegal).

34 Comments
2024/11/07
12:30 UTC

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