/r/ABCDesis
ABCDesis (Abroad-Born Confused Desis) is a place for members of the South Asian diaspora who were raised outside of South Asia to share their experiences and be a part of the collective global Desi diaspora community.
Our purpose at /r/ABCDesis is to foster a sense of community among the South Asian diaspora.
While this subreddit has been named 'ABCDesis', commonly used as an abbreviation for American Born Confused Desi, this subreddit is for ALL people of South Asian heritage who have migrated away from South Asia, no matter how many generations ago.
This subreddit is also for anyone who is not of South Asian heritage and those that still reside in South Asia to gain a perspective into the lives of South Asians who have migrated abroad. We just ask that you respect the community it is intended for in how you discuss and interact.
Thank you and please enjoy your visit!
[1] — posted every 1st and 3rd Tuesday
[2] — an ‘introduce yourself’ thread will be posted during the first week of each month
Click here to see our wiki for more detailed info about /r/ABCDesis, including our Crisis Resources list and other original material, community-sourced info, and related subreddits.
While the origin of ABCD has the "C" standing in for "confused", we've chosen to leave its interpretation up to our members. Confused or Confident. Charismatic, Creative, or Cunning, we are what we make of ourselves and every experience is different.
1. No Bigotry
No racism, casteism, sexism, homophobia, transphobia, etc. This also extends to toxic nationalism and/or clan/tribe as well as discrimination against religion. If in doubt, remember to always be civil, even in your disagreements.
2. Keep It Civil
No matter how correct you may (or may not) be in your discussion or argument, if the post is insulting, it will be removed with potential further penalties. Remember to keep civil at all times. We also have zero tolerance for doxxing.
3. No Trolling/Brigading
This includes topics such as toxic masculinity, white worshiping discussions, religious slander, 'FOBs' vs 'ABCDs' topics. Brigading from hate subs will also result in bans.
4. No Low Effort/Repetitive Posts
Posts that require little effort such as a simple meme or posts where the discussion has already been posted recently and has garnered attention will be removed.
5. Relationship or Family Related Posts On Weekly Thread
Any dating/relationship/family related questions should be on the weekly threads in order to prevent clutter. Threads that are created outside of these will be removed without a valid explanation to the mod team beforehand.
6. No Misleading Submission Titles
Submission titles of web pieces must be comprised only of the copied and pasted headline of the piece, a continuous quote taken from the piece, or both the headline and a continuous quote taken from the piece. Submission titles should provide clarity.
7. No Discussion of South Asian Politics
No discussion of South Asian politics. Topics or comments that fall into political discussions of issues current/past in South Asian countries will be removed as they are not relevant to the primary demographic of this community. Discussion of diaspora politics that are relevant to the Desi community are permitted. Topics that may be based in South Asia but deal or can be linked with the South Asian diaspora directly are allowed provided it does not break any of the other rules.
8. No Advertising Without Mod Approval
If you would like to advertise a survey, your own media creation, or anything else, please seek approval from the Mod team before posting. Submissions without prior approval will be removed. If your submission comes through the Modqueue, it will be assessed there.
9. Reddit Content Policy
Violations of Reddit's Content Policy are not allowed, and may result in a ban from both this sub and Reddit. Reddit Content Policy rules include (but are not limited to): no spamming or ban evasion; no revealing personal or confidential information; no sexual or suggestive content involving minors; and no linking or sharing of illegal content.
1. Don’t link to porn.
2. Use link flairs when possible. They help draw wanted attention to your posts.
3. Use the No Participation domain when directing to other comment threads on reddit.
**4. Only post about dating, relationship, and family issues in the weekly threads. However, moderators will make exceptions for time-sensitive situations if communicated prior.
Credit to user /u/ck2875 for the subreddit design; Sidebar images from instagram users: hatecopy, RajPattanam, cheekybillo, mari_young_park and parvati_pillai.
/r/ABCDesis
The 2001 Bollywood movie Asoka, starring Shahrukh Khan and Kareena Kapoor has inspired a new make up trend on TikTok and instagram for make up artists all over the world. The audio is usually the song “san sanana” with artists trying to imitate Kareena Kapoor’s ancient look. What do you guys think of it ?
Does anyone know where to find decent quality and a wide selection of indian formal wear that can be shipped to the United States?
This was very unusual
I didn't grow up talking much as I was essentially raised by myself as parents were off working 2 jobs and that whole ordeal. I spent majority of my time alone.
Now I am made out to be the bad guy because I don't want to go to family events or weddings or talk to cousins who i didnt even know existed come over to the house.
My siblings are the typical loud and extroverted desi types who will sing, drink and dance the night away. I am the type who if i 'have' to go puts noise blocking earplugs and sits at the table the whole night.
Majority of the brown people around me are the extroverted loud type. Now i'm getting snide comments on why i don't go outside and find a wife. even to the tune of 'get married before i die'
like fuck you have other kids go pester them.
sorrry if this was incoherent, blood was just boiling today
We are trying to reissue my wife's OCI card due to name change, but her information is not coming in up when filling out OCI Miscellaneous Form. Her passport # (US, with maiden name), OCI number, and DOB are apparently not found in the database.
I also noticed that the passport number field automatically changed when I clicked proceed? (using Chrome, from the US). The number I type in is not what displays in the passport number box when I click proceed.
Additional details:
Her OCI card was issued when she was 16 (28 now). I saw the OCI had to be reissued after she turned 20 anyway? Does that mean we need to file a brand new OCI card?
She also just got a new US passport number with her married name a few months ago. I tried using the new passport number too, just in case, but it didn't work.
Anyone go through this experience or have any tips? I heard that contacting VFS can be helpful, just have to pay after the first 5mins. Thank you!
As per title, I dont know why its feel peace and satisfying to listen old black and white old songs. Anyone here feels same?
I recently overheard a conversation, about how Indians (probably meant desis) are cunning, on the way to work.. I should note that they weren't POC. perhaps they didn't know I was within earshot or didn't care
It reminded me of a post(which was about something else entirely.. Immigration,etc) that I read a while back advocating against open borders and "not all Indians are rocket scientists" & Most go for minimum wage "stealing jobs from locals" kind of post.
Anyway in that comment section also, I remember people talking about the exact same thing to which a commenter was defending that I'm assuming is a desi (may be not) reply with statistics on "how Indians & Chinese in crime statistics are under represented compared to other races" and one commenter replied to him saying "yeah of course, they are too devious to get caught" or something along those lines and I don't need to tell you that there were tons of upvotes on that comment and more comments in his favour too. Basically complaining about desis plotting, scheming, abusing any loopholes (be it immigration or otherwise, nepotism, favoritism)
Thoughts? Asking cos I for sure am a pushover
Edit: to the replies that are saying they've never heard of this.. you probably have heard it being mentioned in a different way "Indian scammer phone calls?!"
The weekly discussion thread is a free-for-all. This thread will be posted every Friday at 9 AM BST.
Career news, fitness tips, personal stories, delicious things you've eaten recently, shows you've watched, books you've read - anything goes. And if you're new, please introduce yourself! We want to get to know you - plus you might find a friend or two!
idk, if in his diminished capacity, he realizes India is pushing 2 billion people of its own, and would like to provide for them better before allowing mass immigration?.
https://www.cnn.com/2024/05/02/politics/biden-japan-xenophobic-us-ally/index.html
https://globalnews.ca/news/10460060/white-rock-community-safety-forum-stabbing/
Dimitri Nelson Hyacinth, 27, has been charged with aggravated assault in the case of Jatinder Singh, who was stabbed in the neck as he sat on a bench with his wife on April 21.
Singh survived but faces a long recovery.
Also, Hyacinth was arrested on April 29 in Surrey in connection with the homicide of Kulwinder Singh Sohi, also on the White Rock Promenade.
He died at the scene.
Very sad. I think it deserves more attention and there needs to be some recogition / investigation into if this was a hate crime (both men killed in the same park while relaxing with their significant others
There was a fundraiser for Kulwinder (who was a recent immigrant to Canada) started by his brother to help repatriate his body to India but seems they are no longer looking for any more donations.
It's mango season y'all! Are there any reliable places online or in person where I can buy Alphonso mangoes? I know that they can be ridiculously expensive but I'm craving some so bad right now. I've tried looking in a few stores near where I live but I can only find other varieties. For added context I live in Colorado but feel free to share where you can get them near where you live.
Sorry if this is frequently asked.
I've been hearing that Indian students in Canada have been causing a lot of issues in Canada.
I've also heard that Canada is letting in too many and that the Country is suffering as a result. Are the recent indian immigrants in Canada that bad? I’ve seen some hate and uneasiness towards immigrants from the southern border in the US but it seems that people of all kinds, liberal and conservative, white and non white, absolutely despise Desis in Canada.
I went to Vancouver in 2014 and had a great time, although I didn’t socialize with anyone there. Not sure how different it’d be now.
Mayoral elections and London Assembly elections today, don't forget id!
I’m a stressed college student. Like welllll past my limits. I wrote that sentence imagining a stress-strain curve at yield that’s how bad.
I have spent a lot on samosas this past week and can’t stop. They’re too addictive and I can’t stop at a few. I’ll fry 6 and the next thing you know I’ve somehow I’ve gulped all 50. Because of this, I just get 100 packs, which encourages me to eat 15ish at a time but I’m getting through too fast.
The issue is I’ve been skipping actual meals for samosas and my stomach never feels good afterwards. What’s a good replacement?
I see sosososo many videos of people in India preparing food on a dirty floor and using their feet like the latest one I saw was them making papad and the lady was cutting out the circles with her bare feet lmao.
Who is recording these videos? And why are they letting them record? Who is sending the video out? It’s so embarrassing
We have a 6-month-old and would like to get her ears pierced and the associated rituals/ceremonies done at a temple. Is that something that is feasible on location at a temple in the Bay Area, or do you pierce the ears at a professional parlor and then head to the temple for the rituals? Any other things to be aware of?
What's your view on the students protest, which has been compared to the antiwar protests of the vietnam war era. Should Indian students really be protesting ?
Got offers from both Uni of Edinburgh and Uni of Glasgow.
I'm an American student, but a bit worried about the possible lack of diversity/how I'll be treated. Has anyone studied at these Unis or lived in the area?
I bought one from US but I’m scared it won’t work in India now. Should I return it? It’s a lot of money wasted so any help is appreciated.
The weekly thread is for all issues related to your parents/family. It will be posted every Wednesday at 9 AM BST. All other posts about your parents/family during the week will be removed.
Feel free to vent, ask for advice or moan about your familial woes.
Is there a subreddit for pronunciation questions? Yes, I can ask family and friends, but I'd prefer another approach.
As an aside, how do you say gha vs. ga? When I say it, they sound the same.