I’m a Hmong female and my fiancé is Indian. In the Hmong culture with weddings, groom pays for the bride, whereas in Indian weddings, dowry is reversed and bride pays the groom. We both do not want to have an Indian or Hmong wedding with dowry involved. Our families are Christian, and we both desire to just hold a wedding at a church before a pastor. My Hmong mother disapproves of this idea and demands for us to follow through with everything (bride price, alcohol, $$$$ etc) whereas his Indian mother will not reinforce the Indian wedding or dowry and supports our decision.

I have asked my mother to be fair in this as well as his family will not reinforce dowry, but she will not back down on it. My family likes him a lot, and his family also approves of me.

How can I approach this subject again? Will my side of my family split and give me backlash and not talk to me anymore? My mother has straight out said that our culture is more important than his own, and more than our belief as a Christian, etc. This initial discussion lead to a heavy argument over the value of our culture. I had asked her if this is the only thing that identifies me as “Hmong” and nothing else does, and she said yes, but I know there is more to my culture than this bride price and Hmong wedding.

Have any of you dealt with this, and what is your best approach? My fiancé and I are trying to do everything as rightfully as possible, but we do not want to do the Hmong wedding.

Born and raised in a multicultural country in which the common language is English, I was embarrassed to use my Chinese given name and instead went by a boring 'white' name. I'll be starting a new job in the UK next year and have been thinking about reclaiming my given name, but don't think I have the confidence yet to walk into a room and introduce myself with pride. Does anyone have experience with something similar?

UPDATE 11/19 -

Thank you so much to those who've taken interest in our story. We have tried to contact the corporate office that owns this property and obviously, couldn't get in contact with any real human being. My brother and I left a bunch of voicemails detailing the egregious situation but to date, we have not heard back. When I asked to speak with her supervisor, the property manager said, and I quote "I'm as high up as you're gonna get. I will not disclose his [her supervisor] information to you. You can try and contact the corporate office - you're gonna leave a bunch of voicemails but guess what, I'm gonna be the one who gets those voicemails"

Re: the police - they said we could not file a restraining order as it's a voice recording only and does not actually prove that the neighbor was directing those comments/threats to our parents. All the police could offer to do was to speak to the property manager to help us get separated from said neighbor.

Thank you to those who recommended reaching out to local council and/or the korean senior center, we'll definitely try those avenues next!

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Hi everyone - I never thought I’d be posting here, but I’m feeling overwhelmed and don’t really know where else to turn, would appreciate any and all guidance you can provide!

I'm in New York, and my Korean parents live in a senior housing community in California. They've loved living there, but recently this new neighbor moved in who's been blasting music post 10pm and just being very loud. They raised the noise concern directly with the neighbor and with the management many times, but it only incited the neighbor even more - the neighbor started slinging hate speech and actually threatening to kill them - "Go back to where you came from" "I'll put a bullet through your pan-eyed effing head" "This is my country, get out of my country" "you ain't qualified b**ch, I'll run you over"... and we have all this in recording.

My parents no longer felt safe living there and sharing a wall with the neighbor, so they evacuated. We spent days trying to get in contact with the property manager in hopes of getting a unit transfer, but she did not pay us any attention until finally, we got the police involved. We shared the recordings with the police and they said that they couldn't do anything re: the guy because the recordings don't prove that he was saying these things to my parents directly. The police did however go talk to the property manager and that's when she reluctantly gave us the transfer. In her email to us, she said "As a courtesy, I'll approve the transfer" - which, to me, is ridiculous, considering this is a situation where one would have to share a wall with somebody who's constantly making death threats and racial hate comments. There is no courtesy here.

My family and I are seeking some guidance as to what we can do to get the property manager for gross negligence of the matter, and to at least cover the financial costs of us moving. They're going to make us pay rent on both units (the old and new), and we need some way to financially protect ourselves. Any comments or guidance is so appreciated, thank you for reading!

Growing up as an Asian guy in the West, many of us had no one to guide us through life’s challenges. We lacked role models who truly understood our struggles—people who looked like us and could inspire us to rise above the stereotypes and expectations forced on us.

Bruce Lee was the symbol of what was possible, but he’s been gone for over 50 years. Since then, we’ve been left to figure things out in a world that often refuses to see us. Sure there's been the rising tide of Kpop/Bollywood, but it's still not all that popular in the West. And yeah, we got Simu Liu in MCU's Shang Chi, both their first Asian superhero but also the very first male lead superhero that did NOT get a romantic interest in all of the MCU.

So two steps forward, one step back. This absence of representation has real consequences. It chips away at our confidence, our self-image, and our ability to connect with others, especially in relationships, self-esteem and mental wellness.

That’s why I created this video, "Generation Lost: Why Role Models Are Important for Young Asian Men." It’s not just about recognizing the problem—it’s about starting the solution. Asian men can and should step up as leaders, as role models, and as examples of strength and success.

It’s time to fill the vacuum ourselves. Watch the video and see how we’re breaking down barriers and building the foundation for a stronger future. Let’s show the world—and ourselves—what we’re capable of. 💪

I'm Viet and a lot of Viet immigrant families seem to be big Trump supporters. My family is also Catholic, so they are pro-life.

If you've been able to get your family to understand your "progressive" point of view, how?

Source

Voting breakdown by women: https://pbs.twimg.com/media/Gbv_9AiWUAsw5v9?format=jpg&name=4096x4096

Voting breakdown by men: https://pbs.twimg.com/media/Gbv_9h9X0AcdMKE?format=jpg&name=4096x4096

I have (well, had, we're no contact because of this) a male white friend who always goes after Asian girls. There doesn't seem to be a certain type of girl he likes, just as long as they're Asian. Like once, I introduced him to an Asian friend of mine and even though she's tatted and pierced (which he doesn't like) he was smitten with her after only an hour.. All his friends also seem to have an Asian girlfriend. They often travel to Asia s well. He purposefully puts his dating app radius very far away so he can match with Asian girls abroad as well. He seems really desperate to get a girlfriend and I think he's scaring a lot of girls away by being way too eager from the start.

I once asked him what the appeal was and he said he obviously likes the looks but also that Asian women are often more traditional while white women are 'too much' 🚩. When I confronted him about that expression, he obviously felt attacked and told me 'You only go for white guys as well? What's the difference?'. But I don't think that's the same at all. I live in Europe and I AM half white, so obviously I'm going to meet more white guys?

I'm just not 100% about it being yellow fever, because he's not your stereotypical cringy weeb. He is really respectful about it and he seems genuinely interested in the culture (and not only pop culture) etc. He's never said gross sexual shit about Asians, the only real red flag he's given me is what I mentioned above.

So this made me think. What IS the difference? When is it just a preference and when does it turn to Asian fetishism? Though it feel icky about it I'm not too sure about the why and how and would like to have a more solid opinion so I can better discuss this stuff when encountering people like him again.

Edit as people are asking about it, I decided to add this here: while my last two serious relationships were with white men, my attraction is definitely not solely to white men. But unfortunately it hasn't turned into anything with any of the non-white guys I liked. I'm guessing he said that bc 1) I'm not telling him about every damn crush I have 2) I'm also not making a big deal of the ethnicity of every crush I have and 3) he probably only remembers the two recent guys since we lost contact for a long time