Charisma accounts for 82% of how others perceive you, according to a 2007 Princeton study.

That’s a staggering figure—and it’s good news for us because charisma isn’t about being tall, rich, or conventionally handsome. Here’s what the study says: People judge us on two key traits—warmth (friendliness, approachability) and competence (confidence, skill).

Balancing these two traits is critical. Too much warmth without competence, and people may see you as likable but not serious. Too much competence without warmth, and you might come off as intimidating or aloof. It’s about mastering a balance between warmth and competence—two things anyone can learn to embody.

For Asian men, navigating stereotypes can feel like an uphill battle. Society often boxes us in, portraying us as either passive and invisible or overly competent but cold. To break free of these perceptions, charisma can be a game-changer.

So, how do we put this into action?

1️⃣ Warmth:

• Avoid the Asian Poker Face! Smile often, especially during introductions. A genuine smile signals trust and friendliness.
• Start by being genuinely interested in others. Use active listening—nod your head, tilt slightly toward the person speaking, and make consistent eye contact.
• Compliment others sincerely. When approaching women, instead of generic compliments, make them specific: “I love your red dress, you're very confident”.

2️⃣ Competence:

• Slow down your speech and lower your tone when speaking. This conveys authority and control. Avoid rushing or ending sentences on a rising intonation, as it can sound uncertain.
• Stand tall and practice open, expansive body language. Avoid crossing your arms or slouching, as these convey insecurity.
• Share stories of your experiences or achievements when appropriate. Competence is more impactful when it’s evident but not boastful.
• Your style and having a complete identity in your sexual avatar and social presentation, and paying attention to detail, can show a high level of competence.

I go into more detail about this in my latest video, breaking down how anyone can RizzMaxx their charisma.

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Check it out if you’re interested: https://youtu.be/khvfdpNflXw

Hello everyone,

As part of my capstone paper, I'm interested in understanding what 'American Identity' means to you. In your opinion, what are the key elements that define being an American? How do cultural, historical, and personal factors shape this identity?

Thank you in advance for sharing your insights!"

Hi Reddit,

I’m looking to connect with anyone who has experienced similar cultural identity struggles. Here’s my story:

My dad was an international businessman, and my mom was a computer programmer. They worked for a company that frequently sent them overseas, especially to Thailand/Singapore/Japan. When my mom became pregnant with me, they decided to live in Asia, primarily Thailand, since they spent most of their time there. They came back to the U.S. for my birth so I’d have American citizenship, but by the time I was six months old, we moved to Thailand, where I spent the first seven years of my life.

While we lived there, we were financially comfortable. I was raised by a Thai nanny who was like family to us. Her two daughters, who were my age, grew up alongside me and were essentially like sisters. My nanny even traveled with us and had her own household and family, but she was treated with deep respect and love. My early childhood was immersed in Thai culture, language, and traditions.

When I was seven, my parents decided it was time to move back to the U.S., where I attended private schools with predominantly Asian and Southeast Asian students (Chinese, Taiwanese, Indian, etc.). While I still felt somewhat connected to Asian culture through these peers, there were no Thai people around, which created a cultural gap for me.

Now I’m 24, and I’ve been struggling with my identity. I’m white, but so much of my upbringing and values feel deeply tied to Thai and broader Asian culture. I’ve visited Thailand almost every year since we left, and I cherish those ties. But because I’m not Asian, I often feel like I’m walking on eggshells when connecting with Asian culture—I don’t want to be seen as fetishizing or appropriating it.

For example, I enjoy a lot of Thai/Japanese/Korean/Chinese media and resonate with Confucian values, but I hesitate to share these interests with others for fear of being judged. At the same time, I feel like I don’t fully belong to either culture—Thai or American. I understand that I am not Asian, but it feels like this culture I was raised in, that I love so much, I am not a part of. This disconnect has left me feeling isolated, and I’d really like to hear from others who might share similar experiences.

If you’re Asian American, a white person who grew up in an Asian country, or someone who’s navigated similar cultural identity issues, I’d love to hear your story and how you’ve managed these feelings.

TL;DR: I’m a white woman who spent the first seven years of my life in Thailand, deeply connected to Thai culture. After moving to the U.S., I’ve struggled with cultural identity—feeling like I don’t fully belong to either culture. Looking to connect with anyone who’s experienced similar struggles.

Thank you for reading.

Growing up as an Asian guy in the West, many of us had no one to guide us through life’s challenges. We lacked role models who truly understood our struggles—people who looked like us and could inspire us to rise above the stereotypes and expectations forced on us.

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Bruce Lee was the symbol of what was possible, but he’s been gone for over 50 years. Since then, we’ve been left to figure things out in a world that often refuses to see us. Sure there's been the rising tide of Kpop/Bollywood, but it's still not all that popular in the West. And yeah, we got Simu Liu in MCU's Shang Chi, both their first Asian superhero but also the very first male lead superhero that did NOT get a romantic interest in all of the MCU.

So two steps forward, one step back. This absence of representation has real consequences. It chips away at our confidence, our self-image, and our ability to connect with others, especially in relationships, self-esteem and mental wellness.

That’s why I created this video, "Generation Lost: Why Role Models Are Important for Young Asian Men." It’s not just about recognizing the problem—it’s about starting the solution. Asian men can and should step up as leaders, as role models, and as examples of strength and success.

It’s time to fill the vacuum ourselves. Watch the video and see how we’re breaking down barriers and building the foundation for a stronger future. Let’s show the world—and ourselves—what we’re capable of. 💪

The Anti- Asian Hate movement springs up apprehensively whenever one of our elders gets shoved or assaulted. I say apprehensively because the public fears backlash from those of the race that usually targets us. The left will say proposals to curb shoplifting, drug use, and violence disproportionately targets black and brown. Notice how we are not included in their concerns though? Most times we just keep to ourselves and even shrug off verbal abuse, but anything more than that is unacceptable. We as a community do not get out to vote enough though for the anti-crime measures and candidates. San Francisco is at least a third Asian. If we all got up to vote to exercise our rights, we can actually shift California more to the right. If we are not voting, we are not gaining a voice or power in the U.S. What can we possibly do to get our community out during election season?

For years, I struggled with dating while constantly comparing myself to my 3 white friends who were my main wingmen. They seemed to be succeeding effortlessly, getting dates and making connections while I felt like I was always falling short. And we had all started at the saame time, but like a couple of months in, I felt like I was being left in the dust by their progress and the immediate, positive reactions from women they'd get.

Every time I saw them with women, I couldn’t help but wonder, What am I doing wrong? This constant comparison nearly ruined my confidence and my dating life.

I was putting in the work—going out four to six nights a week, practicing my approaches, racking up hundreds of interactions—but every small win felt like it wasn’t enough compared to their success. It was exhausting, and each time I compared myself to them, I felt more discouraged. I started to internalize the belief that my race, my height, and my appearance as an Asian guy were holding me back. That’s when I realized I was stuck in a toxic loop of comparison.

But here’s the breakthrough I had: Everyone has their own unique journey.

My white friends weren’t necessarily “better” at dating—they were playing the game on a different difficulty level due to societal perceptions. Once I stopped measuring my progress against theirs and started focusing on my own growth and improvements, everything began to change for me.

It wasn’t easy, but the moment I shifted my mindset and began to focus on my own journey instead of feeling inadequate compared to others, I started seeing real results. I embraced my uniqueness, worked on my self-confidence, and let go of the idea that I had to match anyone else's progress to feel successful.

If you’ve ever felt like you’re not measuring up, or if comparison is holding you back in dating (or life), I want to share my story and how I overcame this mindset. My latest video dives deep into the struggles I faced and how I finally let go of comparison to transform my dating life.

You can check out the full video here: https://youtu.be/dmqMBKtYOrI