It might be worth the hype. It looks like red wine and I’m actually getting sleepy while drinking it. No buzz obviously but paired with a joint and I’m not missing the booze currently. Day 2 now for me. I had almost 2 weeks but sometimes I drink too much caffeine and feel like alcohol is the only remedy 😭 Shitty excuse but I swear alcohol is the remedy for ODing on caffeine lmao

as the title shows i’m at day 1 or better yet, day 0. for context, i used to hate drinking to the point of panic attacks if i tasted alcohol. i moved to a city almost three years ago and started going out with friends in a safe environment and began to feel comfortable socially drinking again. for the first 6 months, i never drank at home, only occasionally when i went out. i’m talking barely knew how to order at a bar at 26 inexperienced.

when i moved out on my own, it became a few times every two weeks then within 6 months of that, a few times a week. and i would often black out when i drank outside of my home. fast forward a year later, i have a BAD night out. tldr version; i passed out with my head in the toilet and my bf couldn’t wake me up. i was sober for two months after that. i messed up. i started drinking at home and at that point it became every 2 or 3 days and would end with me being completely inebriated. for the next year and a half, i would drink typically on weekends, monday (bc i was off tues) and wedn (bc i worked at 10 on thur) so 4 days a week.

then my position at work changed and i worked m-f 2:30p-11p so i spiraled due to the stress of my job. this year i have been slipping so bad and drinking at least 4-5 days a week. i do not drink liqueur typically and drink wine or hard seltzers. to add to it, all this year i’ve been trialing medication for my anxiety, adhd, and depression. i had a friend sit me down and tell me that i need to get it together and it’s hurting our friendship, this is a best friend of nearing 10 years, we haven’t talked in almost 3 months now. for the first 2 weeks, i completely stopped drinking. i relapsed and it spiraled. i have been drinking constantly to the point of blacking out. in the past week and a half, i have not had alcohol 2 days. yesterday was day one. today i had a migraine and was very nauseous but i was able to eat correctly after days of hungover inabilities to eat.

i just feel lost. i want to stop, i hate drinking at this point. but it feels like the only thing to stop the constant anxiety and stress. idk what i’m looking for from this post but i needed to vent my feelings. if anyone has been in my place and made it out, how did you do it?

What is the #1 thing that you are doing, or have changed, to help you quit?

Hello,

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Hey everyone. New here. I have been sober once before for 3 years but decided I wanted to drink again when completing my degree!

I’ve learnt that I’m not an everyday drinker but when I do, I go hard. So a binge drinker I suppose?! The binge causes blackouts, not being able to walk, talk , function. Not a good look for a professional person who is trying their upmost to give their kid a good life. After last weekend, I decided enough was enough and tbh I don’t particularly like myself being out of control and unsafe when I drink. I’m not a bad drunk- but I just can’t say no. So I want to take back control. I’ve done it before, I can do it again! But I’m feeling anxious about what’s to come. Is there things I should look out for? How do I stop cravings or just thinking ‘yeah sod it, just one will do’. Any advice welcome. Lovely to find this group- think this is going to help me A LOT, rather than last time going it alone!

Disclaimer, not asking for medical advice. Just asking If this is common. This was removed from stop drinking so sorry in advance if this does go against community guidelines:

Been over a month since my last relapse and one thing that remains is my eyes always feel super strained in the evening. They are usually pretty red and just feel generally weird and strained. I do vape also so that might be it- probably use screens too much too. Just curious if anyone has felt really bad eye strain following alcoholism?

Of all the things that my active alcoholism has scared me about, this is the one. There are too many instances per day where I’m like.. what am I doing? Why did I walk here? Why did I open this cabinet (just reaching for salt as I have a simmering pot of chili I tasted that needed it) I am a bit scared lol. While driving sometimes I get this feeling of almost Deja vu, but I don’t recognize where I’m at. For a very quick second. Anxiety, probably. Right?

I keep forgetting words, very simple words. All the time. I am having trouble forming arguments so I just avoid it. Or I guess not even that, sentences. I am having trouble forming coherent sentences when I want to say a thing. The words don’t come to me.

My family has a huge history of Alzheimer’s and dementia. My aunt had early dementia-/ alz by my age.

I guess I’m just scared? Has anyone recovered from memory problems like this? I just need a bit of encouragement, I guess.

The opposite of addiction isn't sobriety. It is community.

I was smoking a cigarette during my brake and I just realized that The Thrist™ hasn't hit me this week. It was a daily battle just a few months ago. Active resistance was all I could do. If The Thirst hit, I would call a friend, hangout somewhere in public, be away from the cursed street I live in, haunted with licor stores and bars.

I then started to just call them to hangout just to be around them. Just because I enjoy their company. I still feel like shit, but I'm crawling out of the hole.

And just now I realized. This whole week, from Monday to Thursday. Not once I called someone because I needed to be away from the bottle. I called them because I wanted to be near them.

There was no battle with the bottle. There was no struggle to pass in front of the store with money in my pocket. No desire to spend dinner money in vodka. No rush to spend my afternoon drinking instead of reading. No impulse to take a shot before doing the dishes (and the next shot, and the next shot, and the next shot, and to do the dishes tomorrow, and the next shot, and the next, and the next, and the next).

This week, I simply didn't feel like it. I don't remember the last time this happened.

The opposite of addiction isn't sobriety. It is community.

Good morning, has anyone had any success doing hypnotherapy to help break alcohol addiction? I'll go like 3 or 4 days and then just relapse into a week bender. Having my first baby anyday now and just coming off a bender. What a life. If you have used hypnotherapy therapy any recommendations?

I’m such a fucking motherfucking fuck-up. It started so benign, I used to just have 2 or so glasses of wine to wind down with my LD girlfriend while we hangout, play games, watch movies, etc. I then started drinking even when it wasn’t “relaxing time” after work… then I started buying a bottle of wine every other night. Then I bought a bottle every night with a smidge left over for the next day. Then I started getting back into hard spirits because I actually do love the taste. I somewhat teetered between the two because they taste good and admittedly to my sick brain.. the ABV is much higher than anything else.

Then I stopped buying wine… I started delving more into whiskey and other spirits.. soon enough I couldn’t remember the last time I even purchased a bottle of wine, it was only liquor.

1/3 of a 5th every two days became every day. Then it was 1/2 a 5th…

Then I realized three weeks ago that I was going through an entire 5th of whiskey or vodka every day or two..

I started pouring vodka and mixer into gatorade bottles to bring to work. It’s a higher end retail job and I know it’s so fucking stupid but I’m performing very well. I even got a raise that I wasn’t expecting for my performance but goddamnit I freak out if I might not have anything to bring to work certain days… I noticed that I get slight shakes in the morning(because it’s been half a day since I took a sip) and I have to have a few swigs before I roll into work otherwise I’ll be shaky and disoriented..

I feel like a bag of worthless human garbage, why did I do this to myself.. I’m trying to taper but it’s so difficult, I CANNOT lose my job, taking a leave would ruin the small semblance of money and security I have left in life, I cannot lose my girlfriend to this sickness, I don’t know how to tackle this.. I cried in the shower for 30 minutes the past few days thinking of every fuckup I’ve ever done and I simply hate myself.

Please, someone, tell me I can do this, please tell I will get better….. tell me it gets better…

It's spring time where I live, almost 80 °F. I'm 2 months sober currently and really happy with myself but damn, I'm having a real hard time with cravings latley. Getting off work and feeling that spring temprature makes me desire a beer soo much. I'm really struggling to stay strong. I really miss the cold weather, it didn't triggered me at all. But this hot days only make me have one thing in my mind: COLD BEER. I hate it. Just needed to vent.

Looking for participants for a South Asian Adult Children of Alcoholics for a Masters thesis research study.

I'm looking for individuals within Canada who are South Asian Adult Children of Alcoholics for my Masters thesis research study. Therefore, I'm hoping to post on this forum to gain participants. I've attached a brief description of my study.

"I am conducting a research study exploring the experiences of South Asian ACoAs (Adult Children of Alcoholics) and the meaning they associate with alcoholism. I am seeking to interview individuals raised in South Asian households with an alcoholic parent or one who misused alcohol, to better understand the cultural and mental health dynamics involved.

If you know anyone who may be interested in participating, I am looking for South Asian ACoAs who:

Identify as South Asian and were raised in a South Asian household.

Lived with a parent who struggled with alcoholism or alcohol misuse.

Are 19 years or older.

Are fluent in English for a 1-2 hour online interview.

Participation is voluntary, and participants can withdraw at any time. If interested, please contact me at Shobia.vaseeharan@mytwu.ca or 604 446 5229."

Thank you so much.

So I’ve been a big drinker for the last 4 years. It’s gotten so bad I’ve been keeping a spreadsheet. Expect a r/dataisbeautiful post on New Year’s lol. I’ve blacked out or had 7+ drinks a lot more than I’ve been sober days.

Anyway, I went on a 10 day bender drinking probably 5-6 beers in the day to keep the shakes away and most of a fifth at night. Honestly don’t know my exact numbers cause I blacked out 4 times and 6 times was extremely fucked up. So Sunday night, I was drinking and feeling okay but not going insanely hard. Went to sleep at 1 am feeling like shit and woke up at 3:30 with a big jolt to my brain with my first severe withdrawal. No idea what a seizure feels like so idk if that was one. I’ve been shaky before but this was the real deal. I had uncontrollable tremors, nausea, constant sweating, the ungodliest amount of anxiety ever, and hallucinations. I spent a few hours just shaking and sweating and staring at the back of my eyelids seeing black squiggles, demonic monsters, and people having sex in what felt like a 20 frame per second slideshow from hell. Felt like a really fucking bad acid trip mixed with the fact I know I’m on the path to the reaper. Spent a lot of time counting down the 30 mins for 1 beer to make me feel not as shit until it’d subside around the 1 hour mark and I’d drink another beer, rinse and repeat. Tapered that way the rest of the day and went to bed Monday feeling shitty but woke up Tuesday after about 4 hours of sleep feeling less complete hellish but had severe tremors and terrible anxiety and sweats.

So I’ve still been tapering with beer and have been timing and extending time as need be. Yesterday I only had 12 total, today will be 11, etc. Honestly scared the shit out of me so bad I plan to quit for awhile once I hit 0. Also chugging liquid IV and was able to eat food yesterday and today. I feel okay-ish now. So my question is: Am I done with the thick of it or is it possible for the bad shit to come back? First real experience with this so curious what more experienced drinkers would know.

TLDR: Am I through the worst of it or should I be more smart with my taper

hello again day 1. hello again overdrawn bank account, missed classes, shame and crippling panic. every single time i begin to advance in life, overcome my anxiety, and start to put all of the shit i’ve destroyed back together, i let alcohol come knock my feet out from under me. i can only tell myself “no” so many times before i just want to stop fighting and i give in to the drink. a week without drinking seems like nothing from an outsider’s perspective, but in that week is a million instances of battling my mind to a near breaking point. i know you all understand that, and right now that is keeping me holding on because NOBODY in my life can understand how incredibly powerful alcohol’s grip on me is and how exhausted i am. every glimpse of hope and beauty i get in life is turned to shit because of this stupid substance. it is so fucking lonely and debilitating living this way. i’m only 26 and i already feel hopeless. it is so terrifying not being able to trust myself because as bad as things have gotten, i am almost positive i will do this again and i’m terrified that there is no way to stop it from happening. i wouldn’t wish alcoholism on my worst enemy. i would do anything for a hug right now. i’m so sorry for the negativity, i know my current mindset is toxic and i really hope it isn’t triggering to anyone. i just have no one else to talk to

The longest I’ve made it in the last 13 years was 53 days. I did that back in July and August. I really wish I kept going as I would be more confident in my sobriety now. I’m at 16 days since last slip. Been to rehab twice and tried AA dozens of times. I really don’t want to drink but alcohol was always my safety net to dull away the pain and my mind. I suck at moving forward with my life. I’m tired of watching life go by and everyone I know moving forward while I’m stuck at a dead end job that I hate. I really should practice more gratitude and not compare where I’m at with others I know. Just looking at pics of old friends killing it in life with a beer in their hand. They’re able to move forward and enjoy a drink from time to time to relax. If I drank it would be a wrap for the week. I would down a whole bottle of vodka and then call out sick for work and then go through withdrawals. But I should be grateful that I want to get better. That I have a job. That I have a loving wife. I want to move forward but I just feel stuck. I did apply for some other jobs today which makes me feel like I did something productive at least. I miss not giving a shit and that’s how I felt when drunk but it lead to where I’m at so I regret my decisions so much. At least I know I won’t drink today.

...and are dry today (or mostly dry)

Did you use cannabis before you quit alcohol?

Did you use weed on Day 1 and every day thereafter? Do you still do so?

Has it helped you stay dry?

Just wondering what people's experiences are. I know it's not ideal to trade one addiction for another, and I know nothing scratches the itch like booze. But Jesus...anything that keeps us out of CA territory is a win.

Another Day 1 from another new account cause I obsessively delete every trace of anything when I'm drunk...

I was doing pretty well. I was practicing gratitude. I was feeling genuinely lucky despite my objectively crappy life. (Crappy as a direct result of drinking of course.)

Anyway, I gave in one day then I gave in the next and before I knew it I was skipping work to drink and all the usual bullshit. Sending embarrassing messages to people I haven't spoken to in a decade or more.. the whole bit. Searching for something I KNOW and have learned a THOUSAND FUCKING TIMES is not there. It. Isn't. There.

And now I don't feel lucky or grateful or any kind of optimistic but I guess I do know it's possible. Just gotta sail through the initial doom first right?

So so SO sick and tired of this cycle!

It would be ten days today but I decided to have a couple drinks yesterday. I still need to learn how to regulate intense emotions without alcohol. I enjoyed my drinks I guess but I don’t want to do it again. Normally I’d be craving a drink immediately after waking up but I’m not. My eyes feel puffy and I hate that. Yesterday I finally got to the point where your poop is solid too and today is not anymore 😭 Oh well I guess

Been drinking every day the last five years recently managed to quit for two days but couldn't sleep at all in the end just drank again to sleep.

Can anyone here recommend anything to help with sleep please? I will be trying chamomile tea and I've heard magnesium helps but what else is there? I was also told by someone that vitamin B supplements are good for a recovering alcoholic are there any other supplements recommended?

Thanks for any suggestions

The first week was trash.. second was mid., started eating real food, veggies,pasta,rice, beans eggs,pedealyte. For the past two weeks I been pooping real solid poo. No more piss poo.. I discovered that taking a solid poo while cleaning your ears with a q tip is an experience. yes I taper down during the first 3 days , to me is still a win..so I'm not gonna drink today but tomorrow I will. And I will say the say the same thing the next day...

It's 2am ish here right now but yesterday was my 1 month being sober from alcohol. I cannot believe I have made it to this point. I almost caved to my cravings a few times but so thankful I held strong.

Weekends are the worst for me. I wanna drink so badly on the weekends. I have to keep reminding myself that my liver is FAT AF and I don't need to mess it up even more lol

Also, my sister is crocheting me a blanket to go along with my journey. For every 30 days, she is going to crochet a granny square. Eventually there should be enough for a big blanket. So that is also a cool thing to think about to keep me going.

I didn’t get sober to lose weight, and i certainly didn’t expect to shed my beer belly instantly, but it’s been 2.5 months and I’ve gained 9 pounds. My eating habits have gone back to normal by society’s standards, and I’m much more active than I was before. I’m just still putting on weight. My skin is also getting worse than it was when I was drinking. Way more pimples and uneven skin than there was before.

Idk. I know looks aren’t everything, I’m just really struggling to love my body and it’s discouraging to say the least. Hoping this will pass.

Sending love to all 💕

Edit to update: thank you all for your support and advice, idk where I’d be without yall 💕

Former Weekend Warrior (used to be able to control/not drink at all Sun-Thurs but Fri & Sat would often involve uncontrollable binges, blackouts, etc. - you know how this goes). In 2023 after a pretty rock bottom moment I resolved to change my ways - since then I’ve bought a home, been promoted and lost a pretty significant amount of weight. My drinking has been moderated almost to the point I’m getting very comfortable without it - going through my calendar and photos I think I’ve only (as if it’s such an achievement) been drunk 15 times - say, in comparison to 2022, where this number is over 100. I’m not yet perfect, but it’s a very significant reduction.

One thing I’m finding is I miss the chaos. That feeling once I got to the weekend (even if Friday evenings were getting earlier and earlier) that “anything could happen” - it’s not the shame, the fracturing of relationships, poor decisions and health consequences I miss - of course not. But I do miss that feeling when you’re out to f*ck it up. I have no regrets over the changing of my lifestyle, but struggling with how restrictive being responsible 100% of the time is

72 days sober.

I’ve made huge leaps in my life. I’m working again, repairing relationships I thought were permanently broken, lost weight, look better, sorting out legal problems, fixing finances. All the good things.

I just get to the end of the day and I feel so sad and lonely and empty. And I feel like I keep having to pile stuff onto my schedule to be this better and better and better person, is there an end to it? Will I ever get to the end of the day and feel happy and content and satisfied with myself?

I wonder if I have PAWS maybe? I can’t totally remember what I was like before the alcohol years. I seem to have a fair amount of anxiety

I do therapy once a week and AA 1-2 times a week just to be in a group setting to talk about stuff. I don’t want to do the 12 steps.

I’m wondering about adding more exercise in. I’m walking quite a bit, but maybe something more strenuous like jogging and/or getting back into yoga.

I might go back to school in the fall if I get in somewhere, sometimes I question moving forward with that though. I don’t really know. I’m feeling kind of lost overall. Help?

Day 9 today. I am all of the above; hungry, angry, lonely, and tired. Well actually maybe not so much tired considering I did get good sleep last night. I’m about to give in. Not permanently, and I know alcoholics cant moderate whatever but like I can’t regulate my emotions bro. I did everything I was supposed to do, I went outside in the sun, I ate some food, I drank seltzer and regular water, I went for a walk with the dog. I’m still absolutely about to cave. I can’t regulate my emotions, I had a blowout fight with my partner, it’s still not fixed and he just wants to go out to eat now and I’m ready to order a martini. I don’t know I don’t know if I can do it. I hate my stupid addict brain. But at the same time normal fucking people get a glass of wine after something like this happens. No they don’t go on binges or blackouts but this is normal it just sucks that I can’t experience it normally.

I’m just going to rant for a bit because I don’t know where else to do it. If it’s too much please just delete and don’t ban me:

Why me? Why fucking me? Why can’t I just be normal? Why can’t I just have a drink a couple of times a week like a normal fucking person? Why does someone as socially inept and lonely as me need another obstacle when it comes to meeting and talking to people?

What happened in my life to cause this? My parents control it. My mum drinks a bit much sometimes but not really anymore. My dad barely drinks at all anymore. Neither does my brother. My friends don’t drink much, never did.

Why is my pattern of drinking so fucked up? Why do I always revert to the same exact unit average no matter how many days a week I drink or how much I binge on any one day? Sometimes I think if my problem kept getting worse I’d be forced to deal with it. I always correct just before things get too bad, only for them to build up again.

Why hasn’t coming off my medication helped? I wanted to believe so badly that stopping my medication would help me quit. The timeline lined up so well. I have been drinking a little less since I quit, and longer periods of sobriety, but still too much, and now I’m worried I’m getting worse again and it won’t make any different at all.

My hands hurt. They tingle and there’s shooting pain. How long now until the physical problems really begin? I’m scared I have neuropathy or something.

Why don’t I want to stop? Why is my will never strong enough? Why do I wish I was dead? Why wasn’t I happier when I got sober for 2 months? Why wasn’t it enough for me to stay sober?

I can’t answer any of these questions. I know myself, I know that, despite what AA say, I can keep this bullshit up forever. I won’t spiral, I won’t die anytime soon. I’ll just waste my life. Alone.

My last drink was about 30 hours ago, I feel 100 times better than yesterday, but still shaky and my brain is working against me. Do you think I’m at the point where I should just stick it out, or would it be a good idea to get a couple beers tonight. I didn’t eat anything yesterday, but I was able to eat a full bagel today. I don’t wanna permanently fuck my self up, but I also don’t want to send myself back into peak withdrawals.

I’m terrified to stay sober, but also terrified to drink lmao

Thanks for any input. Also, I was drinking all day everyday for like 1-2 weeks, it was all kind of a blur, I I couldn’t even begin to try to think about how much I was drinking a day, anywhere from 10-20 units every given day, Although I’m sure I went well over 20 some days.

Hello all!

I'd like to include some media (podcasts, youtube etc) to help keep me grounded in maintaining my sobriety. I have pretty broad interests but am not really a "gratitude" type person, and not into the new agey stuff. (Not that that's bad, much of it is quite good, just not my thing). I'd like something that's pretty matter-of-fact, either in discussions between folks or just a one/two person show. It can be just tangentially related as well, science-y, cultural or otherwise!

Thank you!

Hi all, I've read the posts here and hope you lovely people can help me out. My sister is a heavy user. It started probably about 20years ago at uni, though she was always susceptible to 'helpful tools" to make her happy or part of a group (she started smoking at14). Well, at first she was hiding her drinking with only a few people recognizing it for what it was. In the last 10 years is got worse and the last 5 years it got completely out of hand. She lost her job and can't hold down anything new (highly educated she get offers, but gets the boot after a few days or weeks at the most), her marriage is done for (her husband is a complete tool, but that's a different story). Three weeks ago her husband called for us to pick her upas he didn't want to "deal with it". She was completely out of it. Never seen anything like it. When it didn't get better, we got her to the hospital the next day. Turns out she had pneumonia, fractured foot and other things. She almost died ... Her health is getting better, at least they got her stabilized after three weeks. She is terribly weak still and can hardly walk. Now to my question: she is getting released in two days. But she refuses to go to therapy.She says she can manage by herself. This has been her second hospitalization/detox.... She almost died (apparently she drunkenly slept outside.., fell etc), but she doesn't want to understand. What can I do? I'm afraid next time we want be there in time... Please HELP... What did help you to see the light and accept help?

Thank you...

So i'm sober a week now and have been hitting the gym for about 3 weeks (even before quitting booze) and I'm concerned about my face redness and bloating. I think it may be subsiding but its still early to tell. Would it be a mistake to use creatine supplementation to increase my lifts during this early phase of not drinking if im still concerned about facial bloating?