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Going to Jamaica for my honeymoon in may, I haven’t flown since before I got my ED and I’m worried about setting off the machines. I had to get patted down the last time I flew (pre ED) because my dick is above average size so it was flagged on the scan. Is this unavoidable? It was so uncomfortable and awkward. Is there anything I can do?

Hi everyone, I had stage one at Beth Israel with Dr. Cauley . I was under the impression that during stage two he would be connecting the clitoral nerve to my fellas, but turns out that he is more conservative and does not do that. Instead, he does the burial of the clit and tries to extend it as much as he can into the phallus to create erotic sensation. I have talked to him about wanting to do a clitoral nerve hook up, and he stated that he is strongly advises against it. Now I am looking for other opinions.

For those of you not following along, I had a full thickness graft taken from under each bum cheek to cover my arm. It had surgical staples the whole way round and dressings over the top which went into my arse crack and made it so hard to pee without soiling them that I was getting anxiety around using the toilet

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I literally just got home from getting my bum staples out and I am so so happy. The appointment took about an hour and a half (including getting my arm redressed which took a little while) but it was not as painful as I thought it would be. Some of them burnt a bit but most of them were pretty painless, if a bit pinchy and were out quickly. It hurt worse to get the dressings taken off and my skin is so irritated from them.

I had 3 that had gotten twisted and I think 2 were twisted together so the nurse had to use tweezers which was sore but I honestly just focused on taking deep breaths and it hurt less than some of the other ones!! And now they’re all out!

The nurse said she was happy for me not to put dressings back on and would rather I let it breathe. I had one problem spot that had gotten a little damp from being in dressings for so long but she said it’ll scab over quickly.

Now to take things slow and gentle but I’m already so much more comfortable, even with the soreness from it being irritated.

My tips-

• take sweets and a bottle of cold water. Sucking on a boiled sweet has kept me from feeling lightheaded with dressing changes and with this. Sucking on it or sipping on water was a good distraction and just made me feel a bit more with it.

• press yourself against a chair (this also goes for dressing changes). My legs have been shakey since I first stood post op but it gets worse/ comes back when I’m in pain. I’ve been bending my knees slightly and pushing them against something keeps me stable.

• if you’re changing your dressings already, change them to something less painful and time consuming to take off. This appointment is long and painful as is without those thick ass dressings the hospital gave me that practically melt into your skin. I put on mesh ones when my dressings needed changing this morning because they’ve been the least painful to take off and I didn’t need to pee before my appointment so I didn’t soil them

• when it’s painful, breathe. Focus on taking nice deep breaths. I have not been deeply breathing naturally since surgery and have to remember to do so a few times a day. Breathing deeply gives you something to focus on and helps reduce the pain

Looking for NY surgeons??? Anyone have any ideas or recommendations?

Will a uti a week before urethraplasty affect my surgery? I’ve reached out to my surgeon, and I see him today, but I’m still worried. I just need this catheter out so I stop getting them.

I had MLD phalloplasty a year and a half ago. I definitely rushed into it, even though I wasn’t very severely dysphoric over my natal genitals. I liked my T-dick, and at first actually wanted to get meta.

I did actually schedule a meta surgery, but then changed it to phallo after some thinking. My country’s transgender organisation gave me false hope (“you’ll gain sensation as time goes on”, nope, not with MLD at all, “you’ll have UL to the tip after stage 2”, nope, you have UL 1/2 up unless you do many more surgeries for it, and even then it’s more on the bottom of the tip, not the actual tip itself), and I hadn’t researched enough here on Reddit. That is completely my fault.

I knew I was going to have no sensation, and that didn’t seem a problem to me at the time. Any penis felt better than my natal genitals… except that I was wrong.

So, I have zero sensation in my penis, pretty much. My urethra is halfway on the shaft. And all my scars on the penis healed very hypertrophic and are honestly very ugly.

I’m also very worried about people being attracted to it. I wouldn’t say I hate it, because I don’t, but I’m worried. Sex wasn’t an issue before I had bottom surgery, even with my natal genitals, as long as I had bottom growth. Now? Big problem. Which is funny, because people usually get bottom surgery exactly for that. But, while I’m not attracted to penises, I wouldn’t think anything of being with someone with the same genitals as me. I wouldn’t think of them as ugly or anything of the sort.

So, I wish I’d gotten meta. I should’ve gotten meta, but then I switched it to phallo without doing enough research because I thought that’s what I needed. But, I do get euphoric. I love having a bulge, actually having something there that isn’t the size of a thumb nail, standing to pee, saying that I have a penis, because it is a penis. I’m not sure if that outweighs my want for meta and the content I’d have with that. However, as I looked at the surgery outcomes on the surgeon’s site after stage 2 with glansplasty, they all look absolutely great, and I think I’d be happy with that. But we can’t determine how healing will go, which sucks so freaking much. You could have the most perfect penis after surgery, yet time can make your glans flatten, or your scars to thicken, as it both happened with me.

I will be going into therapy with my gender therapist soon over this. But I just needed to express my feelings somewhere now. Maybe I just need more time to accept it and get comfortable with my body, as it’s only been a year and a half since I had stage 1.

Right now I have been saving money to get phallo and am about at 6k, I am 18 and have been on T for 7 months and have wanted phallo for years. Should I schedule an appointment now even though I don't have the money for the full surgery at this moment? I keep seeing that clinics can take years just to get a initial consultation and I know I will have the money by then. But I'm also concerned bc I live in the US and honestly idk whats going to happen.

Any advice?

(also any recommendations on teams, clinics, and drs is appreciated I have a few saved but just the more info the better)

Hey everyone, I’ve been a longtime watcher of this forum and have found it to be super helpful and informative. I live in Southwestern VA where there isn’t much of anything close by. I’ve been going to UVA and they’ve been wonderful. They did my top surgery and did fantastic. I have a bottom surgery appointment in the future, but my issue lies with electrolysis. I personally would prefer to not get all my arm hair removed. I know there are several surgeons who don’t require that but UVA did. Another thing, I don’t want urethral lengthening for myself but I want everything else. That’s just a stage I’m okay not going through. My question is, has anyone went through UVA and not had to have electrolysis? And does anyone know of any other surgeons in the surrounding area in case UVA doesn’t work out? I hate to go elsewhere since they’ve done well for me personally, and I may just have to consider electrolysis. But it would be much easier to go somewhere that didn’t require that. Especially since I don’t want urethral lengthening. I appreciate everyone’s input, thanks guys!

Next week I’ll get my referral for phalloplasty, but I can’t find any info about Dutch surgeons. So do any of you have information about (good) surgeons? Or experience with a surgeon? Or maybe pictures of results?

I've been on this upwards battle with vancouver for 8 years, half of my problems started with misunderstandings, miscommunication and things that should have NEVER happened ( which i recieved a poor apology for by the surgeon), paper work being lost, all attempts of interaction being ignored or forgotten unless i got a 2nd party involved after months waiting for responses back. I should have had surgery and been done stage one February this year. So yes I'm a little sad over it

Only to find out if I'm lucky maybe in 2026 I'll have surgery. As now after signing the consent paperwork is now 2-3 years for surgery with vancouver as of sometime this year which I found out through a 3rd party instead of the clinic itself.

So instead of 1-2 years, I'll be lucky if I even get surgery this time next year as I've been on the consent paper work for over a year now. And i can't even get any sort of information most of the time other then cryptic responses like middle of the middle of the middle for spot location. And that doesn't help me at all.

Like the title says I have my very first consultation for Phallo tomorrow and I feel extremely underprepared. Honestly I kind of didn’t believe it would happen I think I tend to make things worse in my head so I don’t get disappointed and since phallo has been such a distant dream for so many years I think it just doesn’t truly feel real that I’m actually making some progress in this. But now that I’m sitting in bed putting my alarms for tomorrow it really just dawned on me that it’s really happening and I don’t have anything prepared for it. I don’t have a list of questions to ask and I honestly don’t even really know what I should say, this is probably stress but I feel like it’s my very first time interacting with a medical professional like as if i haven’t already went through the process of setting surgeries for gender affirming care.

I just need some last minute advice on what I should bring up tomorrow, I don’t want to miss anything.

I have been fortunate enough to have completed a handful of phalloplasty stages and am almost complete with the process. I am very happy with my results, and I am also fortunate to live in a state that is one of the more protected states from the next President. It looks like I may not have to worry about my future surgeries being affected because of the next presidency.

But I can't help but think of all of you who are planning, just beginning, or in the middle of these surgeries during this time. Those of you who do not live in a blue or protected state, and are worried about how their surgeries will be affected by the next president.

I want to say I feel for you, see you, hear you, and give you a big internet hug. Even if I am protected and almost done, does not take away the pain I feel for my fellow trans brothers going through or wanting to go through their phalloplasty journey. It is already hard enough being trans and going throughout this painful process; then to throw in hateful people who do not understand us just makes everything that much harder.

But please know that no matter who is in office, transgender people are not going away. Whether they try to get rid of us or not, more transgender people will still be born. It is called evolution. And this is the way it should be any ways- to have a progressive world, people like us are needed.

This is still a major blow, but the trans community has come a very long way. We've had blows before and gotten through them.

Give yourself some extra love today. There is nothing wrong with us- just a fearful world that doesn't quite understand yet. Take care guys.

Was so confused and devasted to wake up from anesthesia and see no catheters... i was supposed to get UL hookup and burial, woke up only with a glansplasty and a lil fix to the base of my dick, due to a presence of a small fistula. I had a cystoscopy 2 weeks ago and was all clear, so no idea how one opened up betwen then and now... My team does not do UL without vaginectomy, but my surgeon was willing to do it for me since I had my meta UL done already with my old team. He said he'd only perform the hookup if I was completely fistula free, and I got wheeled into the OR expecting I was all good.

My surgeon says he's not sure if I'll be able to get a repair, as this is the 2nd fistula repair and his team would want to use a gracilis muscle to reinforce the UL, but this would mean I have to compromise and get a vaginectomy (and a hysto, which I planned to get eventually) which I've not wanted to do for solo reasons.

He's currently going to consult with some other surgeons from the crane group to see if they feel theres a way to reinforce with the gracilis muscle without needing a full closure.

I feel stupid for not wanting to make this compromise, but also so upset the idea of never being able to STP..

I feel heartbroken and devasted, I thought this would be my last surgery, but now I'm going to have atleast 2 more no matter what plan. Who knows how long Ill have to wait inbetween each as well.

I cant believe how crushed and disappointed I feel to not wake up with a catheter !!!

Hi Team lol It's open enrollment season and my job just hit us with an insurance company change. It's worse and more expensive 🙄.

I'm scheduled for ALT mid January with Coon in Boston but I might actually lose my date since insurance changes 1/1 and the hospital won't have much time to request authorization from the new insurance company, never mind the fact that these new guys are more restrictive with everything and require referrals for some things.

Anyone have a date in late December and willing to be a hero and switch with me? If I can do surgery before 1/1, I can use my current good insurance to cover it. Plz ask your friends as well.🙏🏾

Tldr: O'Brien-Coon Surgery Date Swap I offer mid-January for your late December.

Can anyone help get in touch with dr freet’s team I want to ask questions ? Does anyone know all the insurance he accepts for abdominal phalloplasty ?

Hi, I had a question about Dr. Bluebond. I am scheduled for a phalloplasty consultation with her, but she requires a hysterectomy surgery prior to any of the phalloplasty stages. From what I have read, the hysterectomy is usually done in the second stage of the phalloplasty. Did anyone else have to do this?

trigger warning - body dysphoria, depression, sex

im about a month out of recovery from phallo and was generally liking the results. i liked standing to pee even if it was a mess and i liked the weight of my dick and absence of what was there. i could look at myself in the mirror entirely naked which i have never done since puberty and only feel mildly repulsed by my hips. well then i found out my now ex gf has been fucking some cis man and all my budding feelings of self love died a violent death. now when i see my dick i feel disgusted. i obsess over little things that didn’t bother me before like the way the glands didn’t set all the way around or things i recognize from my donor site. i spiral about how long it will be til i can sex and how many times over she can fuck whoever she wants. and what will sex look like for me? i wanted to have sex without having to explain im trans but that dream feels years away since i dont have implants. if it’s even possible - i know i’ll never cum like a cis man or get it up in the same way. im driving myself up the wall thinking about this. i just wish i could nuke this information from my life and go back to how i felt before. about my body. instead i just think about his god given dick and all the things he can do. all the things he gets to do so easily to my ex that i will never get to do to anyone. im worried i’ll be stuck in this hellhole until i can have sex again and even that is just a band aid. meaningless hook up sex isn’t solution but it sure would help my sexual confidence. but of course it will be so long before that is even on the table not that i’ve ever been someone who has much success in hooking up. i’ve been too sexually abused and too lacking in sexual confidence to do it. i thought with this my new dick i would try it in earnest. i could finally close this gaping insecurity that haunts and prevails in all my previous relationship and build the sexual confidence held by all of my cis friends. but instead i was kicked so violently when i was down. instead my insecurities were exploited by my ex - someone so close to me - in such a careless and easy fashion that i feel as though i will never be whole again. because i know as soon as i start trying to hook up the timer in my head will start counting down the time it took her to hook up and i know i cant beat that time. i hate feeling like a loser. i hate feeling so empty when i was so close to feeling something like self love. if anyone can say anything to help me out of this bottomless pit i would greatly appreciate it. please. and to my fellow Americans - today we grieve but tomorrow we fight. we fight together. it will hurt but what is the trans american experience if not pushing through pain to find happiness?

Does any one else feel like they disassociate before/ after these surgeries? Now that I’m heading towards the final chapter of my medical journey…everything feels not really real. Like I’m just floating through life. Not bad. Not good. Just…like surreal…

The past 8 years of my life has been consumed by this transition and has greatly further showed me the fallacy of what is possible/impossible.

When it’s all said and done. I’ll be able to just move in with my new body. Same soul. New body…

What is even life😂😅🥹 anyone out there go through this? Is post surgical life polarizing in this sense?

Wish me luck my body is freaking out so bad but I am so ready for this. Hoping the anxiety quits once I get out of surgery. Wish the election didn’t put a damper on things but I am still trying to keep my brain on what is here and now. My therapist tells me to focus on the fact that I am currently safe and I can keep on moving. God this has been a long time coming. I remember being a teenager just dreaming of the day. The amount of stress and work and awfulness I’ve had to endure to get here has been genuinely insane. It is not the end but for me this is the most important step in my transition after or maybe tied with testosterone. Aaaaaaaaaa give all the good vibes and prayers and whatever you do LOL ❤️

I’m now 11 days post op stage one rff and tonight is my 6th night at home. Being at home has been really tough for me in ways I hadn’t even considered and it’s honestly 90% because of my bloody bum staples.

For context once you’re unaware- my surgeon uses a full thickness graft from under the bum to cover the arm. This means I have a big incision running under each arse cheek with an ungodly amount of staples holding it together. They’re covered with long dressings which are the bane of my existence right now and the whole area is super tight

So the most significant issue I’ve been having is using the toilet- going for a piss in particular is so distressing to me. The dressings go into my arsecrack because so do the incisions but this plus the sheer amount of swelling I have in the area means that it’s practically impossible not to piss on the dressings and then it’s really challenging to clean. The dressings they gave me (thick mfs that practically melt into your skin because they’re so sticky) hold up ok in this scenario but smell gross and stay sticky if they’re not 100% dry I’ve found (which is horrible because it’s impossible to keep dry which is making me dysphoric too). Regular waterproof dressings are ok but don’t stick as well so are more likely to need changing.

The problem is that, although I am getting slightly more used to it and the swelling is going down, after nearly a week at home, I’m still experiencing full on anxiety around going for a piss which is meaning that I’m not drinking much either. I know my partner will change the dressings multiple times a day if I need them to but that in itself is painful and makes me feel mildly sick

I also am getting really bad back pain and disturbed sleep because between the staples (that I can’t fully sit on, especially not without severe pain) and the abdominal incision (that hurts when I engage my core muscles), and being one armed atm; I’m unable to lie flat in bed because I won’t be able to get up! I’m sleeping with an adjustable back rest in the bed with pillows on it because this provides me a solid surface to push my back against so I can get up and the ability to get my arm under me. It’s entirely impractical to sleep on though because my back has been hurting on it since night 2 and I’ve been waking up all week because I’m desperate to move but I’m so limited on what I can do beside bend my knees a little.

In general, I’m so bored. I normally stay out of my bedroom except to sleep really but now I’m in it 24/7. I’ve tried my recliner but it’s too low and too wobbly for me to sit gently and be able to get back up at the moment. I have tried changing up what I’m doing to keep myself entertained but I can’t focus on much still and having one arm makes things harder, plus I can’t sit up fully to do anything still. My partner or my family will sit in with me for an hour or so most days but other than that, I’m alone with my phone. I also don’t really have the energy to text much so that rules out chatting to people online a lot. I do feel a whole lot more like myself but that’s not really been all that helpful yet! It’s vern a very lonely, boring and depressing week really.

In terms of pain, I’m doing well. My general soreness, bruising and swelling is going down day by day so I’m now able to stand straight after a few seconds rather than minutes, which is good. I started taking arnica a few days ago, by which point the swelling had started to go down but it seems to have really helped push things along. I look very yellow and green still but I feel so so much less sore.

I have started getting nerve zaps on all my surgery sites, mostly my hand and bum but also in my abdomen and around my dick. They make me jump a little but don’t really hurt- in line with most of my recovery, it’s a lot of discomfort more than its pain.

All of my incisions that I can see look good. I have developed a tiny blister at the base of my dick on the top but the nurse did not seem at all concerned when I had a phone check up the other day. I also have one spot on the very end ( luckily the outside end) of one of my bum incisions that keeps bleeding pretty heavily on and off. We keep having to change the dressings because of it, especially after I use the toilet (because my anxiety needs that 😭). We can’t see where it’s actually bleeding from exactly so my theory is that it’s bleeding slowly under the skin and then when I sit on the toilet sometimes, it presses it at just the right angle that it pushes it out so it appears to bleed loads. It’s not a major problem, just means that I will likely still have to dress that bit after my staples come out and the rest of the dressings will hopefully be able to come off.

Speaking of the staples coming out, I have one more whole day and a few hours to go- not that I’m counting down at all 😂 I’m quite nervous for the appointment for two reasons- the first being that I’m not sure they know how long this appointment will be but I did tell them the surgery site and give them information about it in advance so 🤞 it should be ok- and the second being that I’m finding it really hard just to have the dressings changed by someone I trust! Let alone have them take off the old dressings, which hurts like a mf and my skin is super sensitive to adhesive; have them take out staples, when my partner cleaning them makes me feel nauseous and this is going to take much longer and be much more painful AND I’m going to have to stand for probably over an hour whilst feeling lightheaded and nauseous and in pain. I need them out so bad that I’m just going to have to get on with it but I’m thinking about taking the dressings off at home and either using some tape and a bed pad in my pants or some less painful, less effective dressings so that it’ll be quicker for the nurse and less stressful for me. I’m also going to take some boiled sweets because I’ve found that sucking on them really helps during dressing changes because it gives me sugar to help the lightheadedness and gives me something to focus on.

I’m yet to shower apart from one at the hospital but we did manage to wash my hair by me sitting in a chair and lying back over the bath the other day, which made me feel like a new man. I’m so looking forward to recovery after the staples because I feel like, with the abdominal pain reducing, I’ll be able to sleep flat in bed; with the ability to sit at new angles, I’ll be able to sit in chairs and cars so I can go to see my family some days; with no staples to protect, I can be largely bandage free so I can shower and go for a piss easier and I’ll be more wipe clean than I am now and so much will slowly be opened up for me to move back towards normal life.

As hard as all this has been so far, there has not once been any part of me regretting my choice. I look down and see my dick poking out of paper underwear and I smile, knowing that it’s there for good. In another week or so, I’ll be wearing normal pants with my own bulge and that’s enough for me. I wrote myself a letter the night before surgery and I haven’t read it but I know what’s there and that sticks in my head more than the bad stuff and I’m so grateful for that. I might not be enjoying it but boy am I grateful to be here.

I remain optimistic for the coming weeks and even stage 2 and 3 because this has been the worst it will be and I will never have to do this part of recovery again. Week 2 has been hard in different ways than week one but it has flown by really and it’s not far from over. Me and my penis have nearly made it through to the next week and hopefully it’ll be full of progress and more enjoyable things!

Forgot to ask my team lmao

Hey there everyone,

I was wondering where to go to schedule a consultation with Dr. Freet in Texas. I found a UTHealth Houstin site that had the option of scheduling an appointment through there but wanted to double check to see if that is the correct site prior to entering all of my personal info. I used to search bar function for this subreddit and couldn't find any specific info about it.

Site in question: https://www.utphysicians.com/provider/daniel-j-freet/

Thanks

So trump is going to be the next president. I have surgery scheduled for July 31st of next year in Kansas. Kansas is definitely a red state but they do have a democratic government and they have not passed any bans on trans kids medically transitioning. Do you think I’ll still be able to have my surgery next year?

I am far from the actual surgery, but I want to know out of curiosity what are the advantages of the surgery. I mean which one has what disadvantages, because on the one hand rff is rather uncomfortable for me due to the visibility of the scar, that's why I considered other options like alt or mld but it's harder for me to find anything especially about mld. so I want to know how they differ in the final effect especially comparing to rff (sorry if there are any mistakes here but english is not my first language)

Since many Trump supporters and Trump himself are transphobic and our health benefits for transitioning could be on the line. Do you think us FTM’s who want Phallo in the future might get that right taken away ? How we feeling about this? It just crosses my mind because I’m worried.

Like it says up there^, I’m going through with bottom surgery, and I need advice related to my specifics if anyone has gone with something similar to what I want! I don’t know my date yet but I’m getting a partial hysterectomy first bc I don’t want to birth any children ever. For phallo I’ve decided I want RFF, glans, scroto, UL, and a nerve hookup w/ skenes gland reroute. If anyone has any tips for the surgery, recovery, or healing afterward let me know or dm me! Thank you!