r/FTMOver30 Rules

I think it was in this sub I heard a couple years ago, that paypal was terrible for letting you change your name. Well, either i was misinformed or they've changed since then. But it is incredibly easy to change your name, as long as you log in via full website not just mobile app, and as long as the name on your card matches what you put on your profile. Hope this helps anybody who might need to hear it

Im curious, especially for those of us who discovered later in life, how do you perceive yourself in your dreams and how had that changed over time?

Are you trans? Are you male? Are you female? Do you have a body? Do you have a gender?

I used to not dream about my body and had no gender in my dreams. My dreams were frequently just reoccurring nightmares. Then I realized Im trans and came out and since then most dreams are lucid and I perceive myself and my body and gender, I am either male or aware that Im trans in my dreams.

Last night for example I had a dream that a witch told me I was some kind of witch princess and I immediately felt dysphoric in my dream and corrected her that actually Im trans and Im not a woman so Im not a princess, and she corrected herself and said my soul had reincarnated from the princess but nature is always changing so she shouldn't have assumed. XD If you want to share your dreams feel free.

I've got an appointment to start T in about 2 weeks! I'd really love to do something to ritually mark the start of my medical transition. Is there anything anyone has done, or wishes they had done? Especially if it's connected to a spiritual practice (I'm pagan), but non-religious/spiritual ideas are welcome!

Like the title says lol. Are people reading me as a strange woman or a strange man? A teenage boy? A butch lesbian? Who knows! Sometimes I feel so manly, and other times I'm plagued with imposter's syndrome. I know I'm not far into my transition (and my dose was only upped a little while ago), but I'm feeling that awkward stage. I don't know how to act around people because of it. I am getting some weird looks 😂 Not necessarily looking for advice per se, but to anyone further along in transition, how did you deal with the awkwardness? Is patience my only hope?

21. Socially out since 2019. On T since 2021.

For the first time ever, bottom dysphoria came and hit me like a truck and I haven’t been able to shake it. I can’t even watch porn without feeling like shit, it’s insane. Everyone wants a big dick, everybody praises having a big dick. If you’re not a woman that wants her man to have one, you’re a man that wants one.

I’d rather have a biological micro dick than to have whatever this is. It’s a big confidence killer.

How did you guys deal with this feeling? Guys who experienced surgery or none at all please share whatever advice you can.

Any dating app recommendations ? Seems like they are all pretty similarly shitty. Curious what yall are using, I’ve tried Taimi, Tinder, Grindr, BiggerCity and now Facebook dating.

Seems like it’s rough out here for a trans guy. Lots of being treated like a zoo animal

Anyone who started hrt during perimenopause/menopause care to share their experience?

I realize it's going to be different for everyone, but I'm interested to know about the possibilities. Even folks with unique experiences.

Heck, anyone who just wants to vent/celebrate about their experience, I'd love to hear it.

42 yo, started T on Friday. Day 3 and feeling wild. I have chronic pain in my elbow (felt like a strained tendon), and it’s completely gone — which was a bit of a surprise! I can grab a bottle of laundry detergent with one hand again! The easiest way to describe it is I feel like my muscles are doing more work than my joints.

Mentally I feel euphoric, though I’m aware that could just be the relief at finally starting to work on aligning my body with my mind. Still, I’ve been able to do tasks without attaching negative emotions / brainspinning, and that’s VERY new. I feel calmer.

Also, the bottom growth is starting. Nothing visual yet but it’s a bit pinchy and uncomfortable — nothing I can’t handle as of yet.

The biggest change has been the increase in energy combined with the lack of brainspinning, I went on a mile walk yesterday like it was nothing and even wanted to go again later.

Any nagging thoughts that maybe I’m not trans have completely evaporated. This is who I’m supposed to be. After 40 years of struggling and not allowing myself to understand why… yeah I feel pretty f*ckin good!

Grateful for y’all and the overwhelming sense of support from this sub. 🩵🩵🩵

TW: TDOR, discussion of violence against trans folks in general (no specifics or details)

Editing to add: thanks for all the replies! In the interest of respecting everyone’s capacity for emotional labour - I’ve got what I needed with some great ideas and feel much better about what to say at this point.

If anyone else wants to chime in, please feel free and I’ll do my best to reply, but I may not be able to if there’s lots more that get added today.

My work has asked me to say something (just a minute or two, nothing lengthy) at our event/moment of silence on Wednesday and having done this type of thing at other kinds of events, and being comfortably out as trans there, I said no problem.

And now I’m panicking a little about what to say.

My main struggle is over the general focus/content for the day:

Do I just focus on lives lost this year? Or is it ok to touch gently on politics and the darkness/heaviness we’re all feeling about the future?

It wouldn’t be taboo or inappropriate to mention these politics in this particular setting in general, just not sure about this day if I should stick to remembrance of the individuals.

We’re in Canada and from what I’ve found there isn’t a main list of victims’ names that I could read, but we are facing an election next year that could head us down a similar path to the US and it feels weird to me to ignore that dangerous elephant in the room.

If anyone has done this kind of thing or been to so many of these events they can share a general outline or whatever I’d really appreciate it.

Just looking for input on how you all have handled processing anger.

I've struggled for a while with a general feeling of anger at the world for how it tends to treat us. I'm only a bit over a year into my social transition and am 7 months on T. It was getting a little better as my dysphoria lifted and I kept having weekly meetings with my therapist.

But since the election, there's so much anger and rage in me. And also grief, bc of how many people have taken their own lives since the election, especially teens and kids. I mostly feel the anger surface when interacting with cis people who give me weird looks. This unfortunately happens a lot bc my job is extremely social. I do generally pass as a cis man, but I am GNC and wear jewelry so sometimes people don't seem sure what to gender me as. The other factor is that if someone does think I'm a man, I can still get shitty responses bc they (accurately) see me as a gay man.

My mood at work has been very shitty too and I know I'm putting some people on edge (they all know I'm trans bc I've been transitioning while working there). I think they're worried about me but don't want to approach me about it. I try my best to have a good attitude but I've felt so burned out this week that I just can't keep that mask on all the time.

Luckily my workplace is fairly welcoming to trans people. I've had several other trans coworkers, and our cis manager tends to cut trans employees more slack than others (not punishing for too many call offs, less disciplinary actions, etc).

But yeah. I've been stuck in my head so much this week, and as my anger has gone up, my self confidence has crashed. I'm now paranoid that people are misgendering me behind my back at work, etc.

I think part of it is that I need to get a new job for a fresh start. But I don't want to lose my private health insurance here for the time being. So I need to get better at managing myself.

My therapist (also trans) hasn't exactly been helpful this past week bc they've been talking about politics (read: discussing trump and republicans) even tho I've said I don't really want to talk about it. And they said last week during group therapy that they think trans people should try to make themselves look more respectable for cis people, even going so far as to say angry protestors make us look bad. Which quite honestly made me lose a lot of faith in them, bc I have a big problem with the respectability politics argument. Two other people in the group have just been disconnecting without explanation if the therapist starts talking politics with others in the group. I think our therapist is losing focus on the well-being of clients at this point.

I know this is a rant. Just had to get it out bc I currently don't feel like I can discuss all of this with my therapist.

I started experiencing atrophy a few months on T (or well, it started when I was 20, but got much worse on T). Pain in my bits making sitting difficult, pain and cramps in my lower stomach, frequent and painful urination, bleeding when inserting even the estrogen applicators, frequent UTIs but I also get the same symptoms even without anything growing in the samples. I tried estriol cream, which did very little. Moved onto estradiol suppositories, which were better but not enough. I’m now on daily suppositories and another medication for the urinary symptoms which worked for a while but it’s getting worse again.

At this point I’m wondering if there’s something else going on, or another treatment option I haven’t tried (besides yeeting the whole setup, which I’ll do as soon as I can get a referral, which won’t be for another year or so). My endo was not interested in the problem beyond “haven’t ever heard of someone having that much difficulty” nor was she willing to prescribe me anything else to try. Am clear for STDs and not having partnered sex anyway, nor using the front hole for anything.

Not sure if this needs a trigger warning if so please let me know and I will add.

I just purchased the Meta-2 Extender. I don't think the product is going to work for me. It's a little too flimsy in my opinion, makes it difficult to use to STP. My issue is Banana Prostetics does not do returns for just about any reason. That was a lot of money to spend on a product I can't use now. Any recs on what to do? Are there any like gentley used sites to sell on? I'm kind of afraid to Google it, and would want a person to recommend something anyway. Any help is appreciated. Thank you!

I've been with my gf over a month and we've had sex several times. I can't penetrate her with my growth because despite its size, it's held down by tissue. Thankfully this hasn't affected my ability to satisfy her, but it's difficult to find positions where we're both receiving stimulation.

This last time she was really determined to make me cum, so I asked her if she would suck me off. She's cis and has only been with cis men, so there's a bit of a learning curve, but it felt amazing. The problem is I can take a really long time to finish even on my own, too long to make her do that lol. I would get close and then it'd slip away.

Eventually I felt bad and gave her a suction toy to use on me, hoping that would speed things up so she wouldn't be on her knees all night. Unfortunately it wasn't happening. I reassured her it wasn't her performance and that I loved everything she did and am incredibly attracted to her, but I can tell it bothers her. And tbh it bothers me too.

I'd heard using toys, jerking off too much, watching porn etc can affect it so I waited several days before she came over, hoping that would make it easier, but that didn't work. Now I'm worried that something is wrong with me and this is gonna end up causing problems for us. It's making me pretty depressed and withdrawn.

I feel like this wouldn't be as big of an issue if I just had a "normal" cis dick and could fuck her the way I want to. I do have straps but nothing that gives me stimulation, and I'm too broke right now to justify buying any more toys.

Has anyone else had this problem? How did you and your partner handle it? Any advice is welcome. Thanks

Yall, I could just used some validation or clarity from other trans people on this. Feeling very elevated and unclear on the whole situation. Obviously will talk about this in couples therapy, but in the meantime, could use the help with understanding semantics or just others listening.

Ended up telling my partner that what he said was dysphoria inducing and his reaction to that is causing me some confusion. Basically we were pointing at funny pictures of silly animals and he pointed to this pic of a monkey falling on a rope that was clearly spreading its crotch (sorry tw? Unsure) and then said its expression looked like my orgasm face. I said what? Idk what that means? Cause to me the monkey looked it pain. And honestly I felt very panicked.

He said that me saying it was dysphoria inducing was a misinterpretation of what he said. He said my interpretation of what he said was “insane” and that he doesn’t understand how his words caused me dysphoria. I proceeded to feel panicked and this lead to a drawn out conflict.

He apologized for how my interpretation of what happened caused me to feel harmed by him, but he stands his ground with saying he doesn’t feel bad because he doesn’t think he did or said anything hurtful. I’m so confused. I truly don’t believe this is a situation of me just feeling triggered by myself.

For more context, we have a complex history with him accepting my transness early on. We’ve been dating for 6yrs and I came out a little over a year ago. Because of SA trauma he struggles with seeing my genitals in a phallic way which is a huge deal for me. I think him choosing to say that the picture of the monkey looked like an orgasm face, made my brain jump to him thinking I want things inside me, which I’ve expressed I do not. I guess what I’m also most scared of is him not getting what’s harmful and not to trans people. Early on when I came out he said he wasn’t attracted to masculinity, which he later realized he meant “toxic masculinity” and I just feel like I’ve put up with so many harmful things because he needed the space to learn. And he has learned. But now I’m like wtf is real and what is me feeling triggered. Like is it wrong of him to say that he doesn’t think he said anything dysphoria inducing when it’s MY body?Like I get to say what causes dysphoria about my body, and only me.

He also struggles with his own identity things for himself and it’s hard for me to wait and give grace and patience. I’m feeling so much anger for having put up with our history and a grass is always greener feeling with that my life could’ve been so much easier if I was in a t4t relationship with someone who could really be on the same page as me.

I never feel sad nor particularly happy. It’s like I can’t hold on to any happy feelings because randomly bad things happen and my brain just automatically detaches itself from any sad/bad feelings or even from feeling any bit of sadness or pain.

I guess I know bad things will happen in life and I just think: “WelI, I will see what happens whether things improve or not with this bad thing that is happening and hope for the best”.

I don’t know if this is just me or if anybody else has experienced this while on T?

EDIT: I don’t take SSRIs/Antidepressants and never have in my life.

EDIT 2: I don’t fit the DSM 5 criteria for Depression, but I do have ADHD and I’m on the Autism spectrum (used to be called Asperger’s).

So here’s an update on my health. I visited with my MP last week. We went over my AIC score on my blood test. It was over 300. My MP wondered why I haven’t had a critical health event like a coma and death. I haven’t had a blood test in 5 years mainly because I was afraid of the results. My A1C could have been over 300 for years. Honestly, I looked and felt ok all these years. All of a sudden last year I started losing a lot of weight. I knew in my heart that that wasn’t a good thing but I felt imprisoned by my alcoholism and completely unable not to have at least a drink a day. Friends and meetup groups were rejecting me because I was always a little tipsy.

I work in a high stress industry so basically I’d went to work and came home and drank. In those years I had bottom surgery and had some other issues. I bought a house. That just increased the pressure I felt as I now had a responsibility to support a household. Last year I dealt with two toxic friendships. Both of which I ended for my own mental health. I changed companies a couple of times. My dog of 21 years passed. I’ve been dealing with a toxic relationship with my own mother/family. I don’t like drama but it seems to like me. Anyway, lots of reasons for my heavy drinking. Water under the bridge.

So I’ve quit drinking all together. I’m on Ozempic, Arvostatin and lisinpril. I’m 100% wfh in my job and doing well in the position. I’ve had a couple of financially positive things happen recently. My MP says that if I completely change my life for the better that I can completely recover from my health issues. I’m drinking a lot of low calorie and zero sugar non alcoholic beers and seltzer waters and it’s been helping with the cravings.

So let’s talk about the current situation in the US. I’m naturally a positive person. I’ve gotten a lot of negative feedback from trans redditors when I assert that I refuse to freak out and live in fear. I’ve gotten feedback from trans redditors that that say “you can’t tell me I can’t freak out” and so forth.

Listen peeps, this is FTMover30. Part of adulting is dealing with whatever crap life throws at you whether is fair or not. We’ve seen a bunch of shit already and the shit show will continue. I’m not going to accept negativity in my life. There are a lot of gifts being given that I refuse to receive.

I’ve been a Buddhist most of my adult life. My approach to life is practical. I see a lot of fear mongering on the internet by a lot of different groups. I was reading a post by an urban car dweller. The post was all about fear. It went along the lines of that Trump is getting rid of illegal immigrants for a reason. When all the illegal immigrants are gone he’ll use the detention centers as a place to keep every US citizen that is not white, higher income, cisgender and heterosexual GOP evangelicals. He’s then going to enslave these tens of millions of people in prison to work as an enslaved population in US run pseudo Chinese factories which he has eliminated in the US economy through tariffs. Trump will have militias from the red states invade the blue states in order to get this done. Ok, so there’s a lot of things about this train of thought that is simply unrealistic.

The US is big place. 52% of the popular vote is not a landslide. Not all republicans back 100% of everything Trump says or does. There are states that are already stating that they won’t participate in the immigration round up on day one. Yes the senate, house and juridiciary are republican. It’s easy to think the worst. In my experience, the things I get stressed over the most never happen or are different than I imagined them to be. The states still have a functioning legal system.

My humble opinion is that there is a lot of chaos making right now. Trump is about enriching himself and his buddies not about creating a new world order. Trump is talking about using the US military to round up liberals and immigrants. I was in the military myself. The rank and file of the military are immigrants and children of immigrants as well as working class people and their children. Immigrants can use military service as a path to citizenship.

As far as my situation, I’ve prepared mentally, finance and with my medical/legal history for whatever comes my way. I refuse to live in negativity and fear. I can’t do anymore on my end. For me it’s a wait, see and consider my options game for me. A lot of people are going to suffer, we aren’t the only targets. I’ve become a lot more selective in what I do and who I reveal myself to. WFH is great to because I’m just a voice on the VPN. No one cares about my gender identity. My mortgage, credit card or banking companies I deal with don’t care.

The best revenge is a life lived well. I get a lot of negativity because I’m trans, a good, honest mentally fit person and I’m successful. That kind of hate I don’t mind. Peeps, it’s about surviving and thriving the next couple years. I’ve found a lot of good resources online but I’ve also found a lot of nonsense and crap. Because we can’t know all things, when we start out on the path of learning, we must first determine what is worth knowing and focusing on those things. Before you accept all gifts, determine what gifts are beneficial to you.

So, I'm one of those trans people who needs testosterone for my mind and body to function properly. It fixed my lifelong sleep issues, and going on T essentially cured my anxiety and depression, so I don't need long-term psych drugs (I was out as trans for a while before T so I know it was specifically the T itself). I also feel deep euphoria the first day after my shots, even 7 months in (my doctor says I metabolize T quickly so I'm usually pretty low on the day of my shot. I'm assuming this feeling is my levels balancing again). It's so essential that I feel as though going off of T would be life-threatening for me; it feels like a total rebalancing of my brain.

But I don't really know how to talk about this without giving cis people the wrong (truscum) kind of ideas about trans people. So I haven't really talked to anyone about it except my doctor and therapist.

At the same time I think it's extremely important to talk about this experience that many trans people have. For so many of us, there is an important biological aspect. And I think it needs to be talked about more, especially in America as this shitstorm is about it happen.

If I talk about it, I'm going to put a lot of emphasis on the diversity of the trans experience. And how emotional factors are the root for some people, but then other people have a strong biological factor that needs the correct sex hormone (and how dangerous it is to take that healthcare away).

Still worried about people taking the wrong message away tho.

I've done some reflection on what I actually want out of a career, and I know that I want a change. I am passionate about being the person I needed at some point in my journey. I've been looking at times in my life that were really scary and hard, and thinking of who I needed on my side in those moments. Times when having a visible trans person would have made a huge difference for me.

For me, most of these have been in the medical field, and I could see myself making a difference there simply by being visible. For example, having a trans person in the operating room during my surgery, or a trans ultrasound tech during OBGYN visits (or anyone in the GYN dept for that matter).

What are some times you wish you'd had someone along the way that just understood? Or maybe you didn't have to wish, and had someone special that changed the experience for you?

Trigger warning: sex and masterbation

I am a 32y/o trans man. I started on T 3/2023. I just had meta done beginning of August 2024. These last few months my sex drive has gone through the roof. I need to get off at minimum twice a day - usually an average of 3-4 times in a day. It is constantly on my mind and sometimes I will do it at work and other inappropriate times. Does anyone have any recommendations or is this just normal and I'll get used to it? The main issue is I have severe dysphoria after climax with the inability to ejaculate so it feels great in the moment but then I'm dysphoric.

Edit: some of you have gone down the shame route becaumen I mentioned work. Trust me - I don't need you to shame me, I feel it enough already. I have such an unhealthy relationship with sex already. I don't really need the additional shaming. I said that work was an inappropriate place to do this. If I am asking if something is normal- obviously it is bothering me for some reason. I was asking for advice on what to do since my sex drive is so high and it's bothering me and some of you come at me for that? It's clear that I don't feel good about this. Why add the additional shame factor?

Please no negative comments - this is a sensitive subject that causes a ton of dysphoria. I'm just looking for support and genuine advice.

In my pubes of all places 😆 wonder if I'm on my way to a salt and pepper bush 🤔

I've been using the 1% gel and it's so liquidy (maybe it's the brand?) that I frequently find myself fighting to keep it from dripping down my arms and stomach when I apply it. And sometimes it spurts out of the pump and then I'm scrambling to get to it before my dog licks it up lol. I seem to remember someone saying that the 1.62% gel is thicker. Can anyone confirm?

..coming out in '22 was not only do I feel 100% at home in my tmasc body, but finally real happiness knowing the ladies now understand and appreciates my attraction to them. Before, guilt overshadowed every spark of desire I felt. This shift has meant everything. I had to share this today.

Possible TW's: internalized transphobia, general transphobia, the Election, substance use.

I've debated about making this post for several days now. I don't know that my situation is necessarily related to being trans, but I feel that I need some words and care from people who will understand all the nuance and where I'm coming from. Please bear with me, I'm sorry if this gets long winded. Happy to clarify anything.

Some details. I'm a 33 year old pansexual trans man, only discovered my true self last year at 32. He is a cis male, 35, bisexual. I came out 8 years into our marriage and was incredibly fearful that he would not be attracted to me anymore after I started transitioning. He has been incredibly supportive of me, helped me pick a name, and regularly defends me (and his other trans friends) to anyone with negative views of trans people.

We've had our issues in the past, but never anything that I thought would end our marriage. I've always been willing to work on things and compromise, and I thought he felt the same. He's autistic, and I have always done my best to be accommodating, I am neurodivergent myself, likely ADHD but I have no formal diagnosis. Anyway.

The Saturday before the election, I came home from hanging with a friend who is going through some shit. I had been drinking lightly, and continued when I got home. I caught a weird vibe from him and decided to initiate a check in with regards to our relationship. Turns out, he's been unhappy for a while. He was saying things changed about a year ago, basically exactly when I started testosterone. I don't know how true this is, but initially it sounded like the divorce was because of my transition. I told him that I was shocked, shattered emotionally, and had no idea this was coming.

That first night he kept insisting that it was just that we grew apart or he fell out of love. I was confused and hurt, still am. He had given me no indication he was this unhappy. Three weeks prior to this, he came to me and told me he thought he was asexual and felt guilty for not being able to fulfill my sexual needs, which has been a mild issue our whole marriage. I have a much higher sex drive than he does and have long considered asking for a slightly open situation. During this conversation he told me I should start pursuing other people to meet my needs, as long as it wouldn't affect our future together. I agreed, but hadn't initiated anything other than expressing more direct interest to a cis F friend of mine that I've always had a thing for. It hasn't gone anywhere yet.

On election night, I decided for some stupid reason to ask him to clarify his reasons for ending this marriage. It didn't go well. Turns out the issues we had previously were significantly more serious than I thought. Every time he has brought them up before, they seemed momentary or more of annoyances. I would make changes, and he would not bring it up again, not even to say he appreciated me changing or doing different things. I cried and reiterated that I still didn't understand why he wasn't giving me a chance to be better. His mind was made up, I guess, and he still isn't giving me any opportunity to repair the damage.

Then, last Friday, he asked me if I had a chance to think about what I wanted to do about the house that we own, like did I want to stay or not. I said I was unsure, mostly because of the election results. I have been dealing with a lot of fear and uncertainty, considering fleeing the country if it becomes necessary. He basically told me I'm being paranoid and said that I'm crazy for thinking "Nazis are gonna come get me" and that I'm being ridiculous. It became a fight, I said fuck you after the Nazi comment, something I've never done before.

He told me he is tired of me never doing the things I say I'm going to, procrastinating all the time, and said I have fucked him over consistently with regards to things he wants to do or have done around the house. This is one of the issues I mentioned earlier that I didn't realize the depth of his frustration. As a side note, I am fully aware of my inability to complete tasks and I find it just as frustrating. This is also the reason I suspect I am ADHD, executive dysfunction and feeling overwhelmed by too many tasks, leading me to freeze and not be able to find motivation to do stuff. In the past, he has pushed me to do things and it makes me even less likely to do the task in question. Well apparently he's just over it and it's enough that he wants a divorce and there's nothing I can do or say to change his mind.

I again told him he's pulling the rug out from under me with this, and he insists that I did know and that this isn't a surprise at all. I told him that he should express his needs better and communicate with me how he's actually feeling. He said, "all you do is smoke weed and go drink beer with your friends and think it's doing things but really you're just a drunk." I walked out of the room after that. I'm not an alcoholic, but I do go out on weekends with my friends because he never goes anywhere with me. He hates crowds, alcohol, being social, or really leaving the house. He goes to work and hates it, comes home and scrolls reddit and YouTube in his free time.

I feel like he has just given up on me entirely, and it's pretty obvious he has resented me for years. I keep wondering why he didn't bring this up earlier and he keeps insisting he has. I'm angry and I feel abandoned and gaslit, especially given the timing. I was already afraid of the future of the country and now I don't even have the person that was most important to me. What the fuck do I do now?

I don't really know the point of this post. I still don't know if this is really related to my transition or not. I'm afraid to ask, because it would kill me to know the truth of that. I just wish he had made it clear to me the depth of his dissatisfaction, or at the very least hadn't continuously insisted that I not ruin our future. Then he turns around and destroys our future and refuses to give me any say.

I'm sorry for the rant. Thank you for listening if you made it this far. I don't know what I'm looking for other than commiseration I guess. I've struggled to not hate myself for ruining the best thing that ever happened to me, I hate myself for being trans if that's why he is leaving, I hate myself for maybe being ADHD. I hate that I have tiptoed around his autism our whole marriage, and he can't give me any grace at all for my mental health.

I'm angry, confused, devastated. I feel like I can't trust people anymore, because how could I if I didn't even see this coming.

I know sometimes getting a Hysto helps to speed up or increase the rate of changes/masculinization, and some guys are able to lower t dose. I just wondered if this applies after you have already gone through "the change." What are your experiences?

Cross posting this from r/ftm

I was about to start T in the next couple of months after getting top surgery earlier 2024 but now after the election I’m scared to. I feel like im not ready to fully change my gender marker to M on my documentation but feeling uncertain about being on T with a F gender marker (idk if that makes sense).

Anyway is anyone else feeling the same way and like if anyone can ease my fears that would be lit too

Shout out to trans ppl

Hey boys, need some help. I’m looking for an stp with a funnel similar to the peecock gen5. I like to pack in front and I like the style of it, but it’s too damn floppy so I need something to either replace it or strengthen it up. Not in a place I can open TMDicks right now so I’m posting here before I forget. I appreciate any help yall can give!

This is meant to be kind of a fun/silly question, because of course watching people in real life is the best way to actually learn. But what are some enjoyable movies that also feature a lot of masculine body language and nonverbal cues? Exaggerated is fine, since I am neurodivergent and sometimes clueless, but some naturalistic options would be good too. I'm hoping that focusing on body language will help me internalize some of it. I don't know exactly how I learned femme body language - I guess by observing and internalizing - but my movements and stances are pretty clocky and I'm trying to work on that. Plus, movies are fun!

I've been waiting since August!

I was super nervous, but then I walked into the waiting area of the courtroom and a bunch of other trans people were waiting too. Nobody could come with me bc my partner had a doctor's appointment and my mom is disabled and gets too exhausted from walking around in public. So a very nice woman invited me to sit next to her and her trans daughter while we waited.

I'll be honest: it wasn't all happy feelings. I'm so glad I did it. But it felt like the last nail in the coffin of embracing that I'm now a certified social outcast/freak. I live in a red state that's already banned care for minors, and they're coming for adults next.

The trans woman I was sitting with described her emotions as both "a wedding and a funeral" bc she felt the same way.

But the important part is that I'm doing my part to defy those assholes. I've been struggling with apathy and depression but I won't obey in advance. And it was so reassuring to be with other trans people while waiting.

Now, to rush changing everything ASAP! Next week I'm going to discuss with my doctor if he can "update" all of my information to prescribe me testosterone as a cis male with low T. He's a local trans rights activist, so I'm sure he'll work with me to see what he can do.