My wife gave birth to are daughter 2 years ago but since then she hasn't been very affectionate is this normal after a birth or is there anything I can do to help her regain her affection or should I accept she is under alot of stress now with the little one and the relationship is at a new stage it's not bad by all means sex is still active it's just more the affection I miss

specifically speaking on those relationships that ended without any disrespect (ie. infidelity or any form of abuse)*

i’ve (31F) been pretty selective in my dating process and, sadly, had only been in a series of “situationships” throughout my 20s. i’ve grown up the only child so being alone is pretty much my comfort zone.

i’ve been in my first/current relationship for a little over a year, now. i love him but he’s a bit of a project when it comes to the emotional and spiritual aspects of a relationship; therefore, communication has been pretty bad. however, i try to give him grace bc i can tell he genuinely does want to do better … he’s just trying to learn how and i’m afraid my patience is starting to run extremely thin — biggest problems being lack of emotional support + consideration. it’s been over a month and i’m pretty irritated every time he comes around and i feel like i’m starting to pick on even the smallest things, now — and yes, we have had a successful conversation about this two days ago but i still find myself getting irritated, sadly, by his presence.

i guess my biggest point of struggle is that i’m pretty comfortable being alone & i want to make sure i’m not being too avoidant, not giving him or the relationship a fair chance.

TLDR; with this being my first relationship and all, i’m wondering is it possible that this 1 month+ long irritation could just be a phase? i’m honestly more interested in hearing others’ experiences, rather than advice … but am open to it, if you feel in your heart it’s needed* TIA!

Wondering what your experiences were like when you had to tolerate or coexist with your S/O’s best friend? Did you talk to your S/O about it and were they supportive?

My partner’s (M) best guy friend is a nice person but knows nothing about boundaries. Tagged along us to our honeymoon (yes), family functions, stayed at our studio apartment when visiting, etc. While I respect my partner’s friendship with him, we don’t get along super well and that’s usually ok in my opinion; we don’t need to be best friends. But his lack of respect for boundaries sometimes drives me nuts. I talked to my partner in the past about this issue; while he understood my point, it’s against his personality to draw the boundaries clearly with his best friend of over a decade.

Recently, I accidentally heard he had planned a surprise trip to visit us for two full weeks. We’re his only friends in this city so I immediately felt the obligation to host and entertain him. Tricky part is we’re not supposed to know his plan (because his intention was to surprise us) so I can’t really tell my partner about it. This got me so annoyed that I’m thinking maybe I should get away while he’s here.

So, I’m wondering how everyone else handles situation like this? Also any tips? Thanks in advance.

I want to thank this subreddit for all your comments and support on my post last week regarding a breakup I am going through. Story is in my history if you're curious, but it's boilerplate (left a relationship that wasn't serving me).

I feel a shift in my mind and body that I'm not hung up on dwelling on the pain much anymore, I'm really ready to start distracting myself and expand my world! Or at least, the online version haha

Id like to revitalize my home feed and get some fun/artistic/funny posts on my algorithm. What hobby/art/fun/nature subreddits would you recommend I follow?

(Trigger Warning Mentions of Abuse)

So writing this on the behalf of my best friend (34F) whom is trying to escape her abusive marriage. Her husband (33M) doesn't work, he's verbally/emotionally abusive, he's threaten to unalive himself-in fact he shot the floor of their old apartment some years ago, he fucked his brother, he drank all the time and she is super fed up with it. This guy is so awful during one of their fights he had tossed water on her and try to break her chrome book and almost hit her. She wants a divorce however financially she's struggling and is stuck. Her husband took away their secondary vehicle which he states his parents don't want her to drive it, his parents still own the secondary(her vehicle needs breaks and rotars badly). She's barely making it ya'll and is at the point where she may end up being homeless due to finances. Is there any resources or anything she can do? She's wanting to go back to the East coast where home is.

Note-Her apartment is in both of their names, she also is the caretaker of her mom. I'm worried about her safety and am unable to do much except provide support and assign her with this post making.

She also is the only one working.

there is an older women at my gym (possibly around 35ish) i am 23.

she’s very beautiful mashallah, tall and fit. ive been seeing her off in on at the gym for around 6-7 months i dont usually go to that gym as much but i always see her when i do. recently i’ve noticed her staring at me and it is very obvious. today it was even more obvious even my friends were like damn go talk to her already she came to where we were doing our workouts like 3 times. i didn’t do anything other than staring back when she did and held it until she broke the stare. i was a bit nervous and cautious as i don’t want to make it awkward for her or me in the gym. she eyeballed me like crazy when she was leaving she litterly was looking back at me head tilted as she was walking and leaving. i do like her, sure she’s older than me but if i know she’s interest i would love to take her out too. should i approach her ? i dont have any experience flirting with older women. i do look older for my match and the beard also adds cherry on top so idk if she thinks i am her age or just likes me.

Just curious if it’s pretty normal to get totally absorbed into things you’re passionate about. For example, I have a small house DIY project in mind, but it’s like I can’t stop myself from thinking about anything else. I’m spending hours researching and drawing up my own plans. I am sleeping less, eating less, doing anything else way less. I don’t even get up to pee for long hours because I don’t want to break my concentration.

I used to hyper focus like this a lot when I was a child but it always left me exhausted so I stopped taking on new projects and stuck to a routine. Not sure if that’s what’s happening here.

We have been friends since we were 8 years old. Her family basically raised me. I’m looking for a present that would be meaningful and lasting… but I’m at a complete loss. I don’t want to spend $1000 extravagant, but willing to spend $300. She lives in a different state than I do. I’m a terrible gift giver. I’m the person who gives money in a card. (Don’t kill me). I just need some ideas! TYIA

EDIT: she likes concerts but her husband won’t go…. And flying in to see a concert isn’t an option for me right now. She loves cheese, looked at a subscription but they don’t seem all that great. She has tattoos… but unsure about who she’d want to go to for one. She loves animals and has several cats and a golden retriever. She works a 9-5 and is doing a couple classes to finish her associates.

This should really be current events/silly stuff, but I can only choose one flair.

Alright, at the risk of sounding like a tinfoil hat person, what do all of you women of a wide range of ages and educational backgrounds think the whole drone/plasmoids in the sky situation is? Don’t hold back.

I’ll go first: the drones are the Department of Defense. Plasmoids are naturally occurring phenomena, they’re just studying them. This is not Project Blue Beam/Book whatever they call it.

Hi ladies, I'm hoping y'all can give me a hand with something that drives me insane. I was a skinny and small kid. I didn't get my period until I was 16. I wore an A cup bra until college, when the freshman 10 went to my boobs and hips.

On my wedding day, I weighed 135 lbs. My mom had always said I was "too thin" but after being married I put on about 40 lbs and she left me alone. Then in my late 20s, I got cancer, and my weight plummeted to 95 lbs. I almost died, but I had a Gtube placed and had it removed once I got back up to 130lbs. Since then, my weight has peaked at 150, but after finally getting well again, it's held pretty steady at 135-140. For some reason, my mom is convinced this is alarmingly too thin, and every time we are together, she nags me about my weight.

My mom has been morbidly obese for as long as I can remember. I don't generally worry much about it, but I know she binge eats in secret. The problem is that now she has decided to make my eating her misdirection, or possibly use me as an "anorexic" object lesson.

When my niece was engaged, we all went dress shopping and had lunch together. I had a salad with beets, goat cheese, spring mix, candied nuts, and I finished my plate, but my mom made comments about "that's all you're eating?" and again said I'm "getting disgustingly thin."

I'm two dress sizes bigger than my niece, who is my same height and build, even down to our shoe sizes. My mom doesn't think my niece is too thin, just me. At Thanksgiving she was trying to bully me into eating a cupcake that I didn't want.

She says nothing to my sister who is 70lbs overweight, or my brother who's also overweight. My nieces are fine in her eyes, I'm her special project.

I've tried pointing out she wouldn't like it if I policed her plate, and I see my doctor regularly. I've even said "if you keep remarking on my weight, I'll start bringing up yours" but to no avail. I can't have kids so I don't understand her need to pick at me.

Ladies, any advice?

This is going to be SUCH a silly question but what do you do to keep all your socks organize. Mine are all over the place. I rarely have matching ones. I think my problem is my laundry and clothes are all over the place too. They are in a separate space from my husband and I do hang up my clothes but have random odds and ends floating around because I don’t have drawers but rather a walk in closet. This is just my area. I make sure my sons clothes and socks are all organized but when it comes to my stuff it’s a free frall and I want to get better at it. I also think it’s because I have like 2 laundry baskets full of random odds and ends of clothing and they aren’t always dirty by I wash them anyway. My clothes hung up are nice and organized but it’s the random socks and random clothes that just sometimes lay on my floor. Any advice?

Lately I’ve been feeling like I want to renew everything in my life: my business, my personal style, my habits, my home decor. I feel like I’m finally “growing up” at 33. I feel like this should have hit in my late 20s or early 30s?

I feel so unsettled in my life, even though I live a very settled life. I live with my partner in their home which they own, I’m an entrepreneur, growing my business, my relationship is good, childless by choice—but I feel chaotic all the time. I’m overwhelmed by the amount I feel I need to do-like I’m playing catch up or something?

I feel sooo over the “old me” and all the things I used to like—even six months ago. All of a sudden I want to dress better and work out and be on top of everything in my life.

Did anyone else experience this kind of big transition feeling around this age?

I can’t stop comparing myself to my bf ex. My bf and I are on the verge of ending. It’s been a long time coming so I’m not too upset over it, we just keep extending things bc, idk, I guess immaturity. During the beginning of our relationship he threw his ex in my face A LOT bc he felt bad about things so he wanted to make me feel bad. He would say she was more beautiful, smarter etc, and I’ve always had low self esteem, so even tho I tried to pretend like it didn’t bother me just so he would stop doing it, it would eat me alive. I’ve talked to him about it since, he’s apologized, he said he didn’t mean anything he said and he doesn’t actually think that of her, he just wanted to hurt me. Part of me wants to believe him but I’ve heard those comments so many times that now I believe she is that person compared to me. I recently gained some weight, got laid off, and started creeping on her profiles. I found out she has a pretty cool job at a cool company, moved to the city I always wanted to move to, and has been traveling. She seems to be living the life I always wanted. And it really has made me feel like crap. I don’t usually compare myself to other people but with her I always feel something deep that makes me compare everything. I wish I could go back and not look her up and continue being oblivious to her success and focus on me. But I just feel like such a loser and like I haven’t achieved as much as I should. Idk if I’m asking for advice or if this is just a rant, but I’m feeling pretty bummed and I don’t want to lose motivation and fall into a deeper hole.

I’m so sick of holidays. I hate Christmas shopping I used to love it but everything is so expensive and my family is hard to shop for you don’t want to get them blankets or candles but you can’t spend too much. And what do you get the people that have everything.

Post idea : fillers and tox for the first time before wedding day

One more quick question!! Keeping it anonymous to avoid judgment.

I turn 34 a few weeks before my wedding, so I was going to buy myself my first ever Botox/ filler / sculptra to look my best! But, thank God I had the thought to go to Reddit to investigate as there have been countless women (especially with those with autoimmune conditions) have weird reactions and chipmunk face to some of those things.

While I was excited to try it, it may be a risky idea for before the wedding?? Anyone have similar worries or success stories?

Using my friends account as I got a suggestion from the ask men subreddit to post here.

Got a wax for the 1st time ever and have some redness/irritation. Is that normal? What can I do to make it go down? Hasn't been an hour since the wax happen BTW. Did anyone else experience this when they got a wax for the first time? Also - got waxed as a part of a dare before any asks. Chest was waxed but a tiny spot.

Im a 20 year old girl and currently a junior in college. I feel as though I have my life together pretty well for someone my age. I’m a deans list student, don’t spend money recklessly and can hold a steady job, don’t drink too much (for a college student, won’t oversell myself too much here 😬). My only pitfall is men. It’s like a guy tells me he’s been to rehab and my brain falls out of my head through my ears. I always seem to fall for the worst ones and even worse let them treat me pretty terribly. It’s like I know they are treating me poorly and that I almost don’t care. I would never tolerate the same disrespect from a friend that I do from a man. Will I be this way forever? How can I stop?

After 3 months of dating (2 months being official) I am about 3-4 weeks pregnant

I found out this weekend which feels surreal and I have a lot of emotions running through me. My boyfriend knows and he has voiced his concerns (primarily due to only knowing each other for 3 months) and he wants to have an abortion. I also wish we knew each other longer.

I feel like we are too old to have an abortion .. I am 34 and he’s 40. From a financial perspective, I make $90k a year which just gets me after student loan payments and he makes around $350-400k so we’re ok with that aspect.

I’ve enjoyed getting to know him and we have a wonderful relationship so far - we communicate great, are respectful, loving and caring, dedicated and have fun together. When we first met we talked about what we want out of a relationship and we both agreed that we are looking for a relationship that can lead to marriage and a family one day.

I do not want to get an abortion but we have a consultation for one on Wednesday 😥 I feel like if I have an abortion it will be very hard for me to stay together with him because I’ll have the feeling of guilt with me. If I have the baby, of course there are so many concerns and worries with that.

Has anyone gone through a similar situation?? If yes, what was the outcome?

Partnered people, please don’t reply to this.

If you’re single by choice and you’re actually content/happy about it, do you see yourself staying single for the long term or do you think that eventually you’d want to end up with someone?

Have you tried it and have you noticed any hair damage?! Thank you!

The new exec at my office is going to roll out a return to office (RTO) plan next month.

This comes after surveying all staff with results showing people live the current hybrid approach where they self-select AND are more productive and happy than ever. The results don’t matter because our exec will gain political clout by showing their power over us peasants, amongst their fellow execs from other organizations.

It’s so depressing that literally hundreds of hours of my life - that I won’t be paid for - will be take away just to feed one man’s ego. Time is our most precious resource and it means nothing to people in power.

I know that’s always been the case but struggling with it. I was very unhappy when I had to work in the office previously and feel doomed with this arbitrary return.

Mostly venting and hoping for people who can commiserate on how dumb this is.

Has anyone ever stayed in the relationship after your partner has cheated on you? Is it worth staying? Does it get better? My partner cheated a year ago, found it he was actually doing it on and off for 2 years. If he's showing signs that he's remorseful and wants to stay with me do I stay? We also have 3 small children together

I f(25) broke up with my ex m(26) a few months ago. We are in the same friend group so I couldn’t go no contact, especially since a lot of our friends don’t really go out so we’ve ended up spending time with each other a lot.

I would really like to focus on myself, have some distance from him and enjoy this time in my life (because I know being single at this point in my life can be an amazing thing), but the only way I can think of this working out is by going no contact with him, but that would mean that I would almost never go out and socialise with a familiar person. I feel terrified with the idea of not having any opportunities to go out since all of my friends are busy with their partners or don’t go out at all. I’ve tried joining groups of women that go out occasionally and it’s been nice but they don’t go out much, and when it comes to joining groups I find it very easy to talk to people but difficult to join an already established friend group because I feel like I’m bothering them.

Do you have any tips on how I can feel less bad about the fact that I don’t have anyone to go out with? How I can meet new people that are in similar situations like me? Or what worked for anyone in similar situations like this.

TIA

I’m baffled. I did not except something like this from him like ever. First of all we aren’t even friends on Snapchat! Secondly we were friendly but nothing beyond that because I knew he had a girlfriend and thirdly I haven’t spoken to him in 3 months since I left my job. I obviously blocked him and his number. I just can’t. Why do men do this?! If he wanted to check in all he had to do was text me and say hey how are you not send me his 🍆. 🤦🏻‍♀️🤦🏻‍♀️🤦🏻‍♀️ Anyone else a victim of this? How did you respond, what did you do?

I never went to college, am a bit shy, and always had a SO that didn't like to go out w me. So, I missed out big time on music and night life. I really miss this now and am finding as I get older the shows I like here in New England US where I am currently from are filled with a younger to mid twenties crowd.

I like edm, jazz, art, and music festivals. I still take care of myself and don't over do it but wish I had a few of these events spaced out or else life feels dull. I am also a huge night owl. Its been really hard finding like minded women who haven't outgrown this phase and I am into more alternative art culture stuff than mainstream clubbing.

Does anyone have any advice for this? Does anyone live in a city that offers these options?

Hi! First time poster here.

I feel a lot of shame sharing this but I just need to vent.

So I am 36, and I was with someone for 2 years (he is 40). I was with him until last summer.

We had quite a toxic relationship. I don't want to seems to dump everything on him, but sometimes he was mean and disrespectful. Especially when he drank alcohol and playing on his Playstation. Sometimes it was so hurtful that I tried to defend myself; and when I did, I was accused of being mean and toxic.

Exemples: if I had the audacity to ask him to lower the sound of the TV when he was playing because I was not able to sleep (at 3AM), he told me I was controlling. If I asked him to not let the rest of his cigarette on my entry console, or to not smoke with the door open (I have asthma and I can't stand the cigarette odor), he was mad at me. He had zero trouble calling me a bitch, stupid, etc.

I find he was a little misogynistic... for him, men have to control and take lead of everything. Basically men are better than women for him. So everytime I was proud of myself for doing XYZ, he shutted me out.

On a few occasions, I had bruises from him, but for him it was all because I provoked him.

So fast forward last summer. I just had enough. I was so tired, I was not able to continue our relationship. So I asked him to leave (he was living at my home). We tried to see each other a few times, and he kind of spiraled. One time he did not show up at his job. He dranks a lot.

Since a few weeks, I missed him. So last weekend I asked if we can see each other. I learned he was seeing someone and that he had no feelings for me anymore (after spending 30 min asking if I was with someone, if I had sex with someone else, etc). And now, I am HURTING. And I know it don't make sense. I don't understand why I feel this way. I even went this morning to sending a bunch of pictures of us and letting him know to think about our relationship and that he have until December 24 to think if our relationship can survive. Crazyyyyyyy

I am so ashamed of this. My guess is maybe it is my ADHD talking; the toxic relationship gave me a lot of dopamine, which I don't have anymore. But, how can I go forward and not have the urge to contact him? How to make disappear this insane feeling of rejection?

Comments and suggestions are welcome :(

I don’t know what I’m looking for here, maybe to vent, find some words of wisdom from this group, or maybe feel like I’m not alone in this.

My boyfriend (38M) and I (33F) have been together for almost 5 years. We have a home together, no kids, and a dog.

I would say things were going well until last Spring/Summer, when I started to feel like the mental load was overwhelming and That I couldn’t depend on him with even the most simple tasks around the house. He has only gone to the grocery store twice throughout our relationship and I feel like everything is up to me to figure out. We don’t go out on dates and everyday is just him getting home and playing video games in the living room until 1-2am. Anyways, I brought my frustrations up to him last Summer. I told him that I needed help and I was not able to work full time, run all the errands, cook for both of us, take care of the dog, etc all on my own. He doesn’t even serve himself food when I cook for him on a daily basis. Don’t get me wrong, I used to enjoy doing this for him, but when he sees it as an expectation, it really made me feel like he was taking advantage of me. Anyways, I told him that I was on the verge of starting to feel resentful and that it was not healthy for our relationship. We got into a disagreement, didn’t really speak for a couple of days until I put my pride aside and literally begged him to help me out. He said he would try to be better. I asked about couples counseling, he said no.

Things have not gotten better. In June 2024, I broke down in front of him and told him that I was unhappy and told him that I feel resentful due to his lack of initiative to do anything, and asked for couples counseling again. He seemed very sad and heartbroken that I felt this way about our relationship and said that he would be willing to go to counseling. Due to his lack of initiative, I thought that a good starting point was for both of us to do research a counselor and come back within two weeks with one that stood out to us and we could make a decision. He never even looked into this( he is a veteran so I was hoping he would go through the VA for options) and then I decided to look into this for us. In the end, I gave up on this bc I once again felt as if it were up to me, just as everything else.

Lately, I have become so detached from our relationship and irritable that I just would rather not be next to him and look for excuses to leave the house to be in my own. We literally have not had sex since January 2024. He is NOW finally asking if I need anything from the grocery store, what he can do to help me out, but I’m over here like “LOOK AROUND?!” I am SO EXHAUSTED of being a caregiver to a grown man.

If/when I leave him, he will not be able to afford the mortgage on his own alone (I make more than he does so I do 3/4 of the mortgage, groceries, anything else related to home, and he does the 1/4 remainder of mortgage and utilities). I would like to still help with mortgage for at least 3-4 months as he figures stuff out (the house is under his name, I know, very dumb of me) but I feel like I can’t leave him bc I’m worried about him and his well being (he has PTSD, Anxiety, depression but refuses to seek out help for this). My best friend, the only person I have told about this, thinks it’s crazy that I try to even help with mortgage considering he’s the one that wanted everything under his name.

I’m also scared of starting over bc at this point, maybe kids won’t be in the picture for me. He approached me two months ago stating that we should try for a child and I almost had a mental breakdown just thinking about taking care of a grown man, dog AND A BABY?!

I’m also on this breaking point where I need to focus on myself bc all I have been doing is focusing on him and him only and I feel like I was never prioritized…nor did I prioritize myself and I feel like my health is really starting to take priority due to being recently diagnosed with alopecia, PCOS, sleep apnea, to name a few.

Any words of wisdom, suggestions, anything helps.

Update!!!!!!!!:

@ Everyone!!!!!!! Thank you so much for your words, your tough love, words of wisdom, and knowing I’m not alone. This is what I have been needing as I never put my business out there (my best friend was pissed when they found out bc I had not shared my grievances before). I have always had a good head on my shoulders, and very financially independent. It’s clear that I need to move on and I think the part that I’m having a hard time with is….timing? I’m in the weeds of holiday season and my thought process is: do I want to mask and pretend things are good until the holidays are over, or do I want to spend Christmas moving? Nonetheless, I appreciate you all for rallying and giving this girl the harsh truth of my reality at this moment.

My fiancé and I have been together for 10 years, engaged for 4. I have a 12 year old from a previous relationship and we share an 8 year old. Our relationship has been a constant struggle for the past 7 or so years. Our libidos do not match, our communication styles are different, our work ethic is different. He is a phenomenal father to our daughter. They are so, so close. His relationship with my eldest is a bit strained, but not terrible. Our biggest issue is sex and communication. I have a terribly low libido due to my medication and I struggle to prioritize sex. I am also employed full time and in school full time. If I do not have sex, my emotional needs are totally ignored. He will withhold affection and intimacy as well as human decency if I don’t have sex with him. This obviously doesn’t make me want to have sex so it’s a vicious cycle. My 8 year old is so bright and kind and gifted and she has never really had any hurt in her life. The thought that I could break her heart and derail her future all bc I don’t have a sex drive is absolutely sickening to me. He doesn’t hit me, doesn’t scream, doesn’t cheat, doesn’t stay out all night. He actually does more of the household chores and cooking than I do. He’s wonderful in so many ways, but the compatibility just isn’t there. I don’t think it should be this hard.

How do I justify leaving if it will hurt my child? How do I stay and resign myself to “just good enough?” Do I need to talk to a doctor? Am I the problem?

Please be kind.

We are celebrating Christmas at my MIL’s house this year. I have no idea what to buy her. Can you share what you are buying for your MIL?