I have absolutely no experience with older women so I was just wondering what are the best ways to go about meeting them? Any advice appreciated

I find myself really atracted to older woman, but whenever I get the chance to talk with someone I always end up talking very formally, cant get past that mental barrier of speaking to her like someone my age, I dunno, I feel like they impose some kind of grown aura? Sometimes I feel like they can see trough my soul

I'm active on this dating website conceived for the region I live in. Today I contacted a woman 42 years older than me (I'm 20) and after a few exchanges we decided to meet up next week at her place (she said she'd cook for me and that I could stay the night). I'm very excited and can't wait to meet her, but I also can't help but think that I might disappoint her with my inexperience. I've only had relationships with girls around my age up until now and I don't know what to expect when I'll finally be face to face this person. I'm not worried about her physique, but she might want me to take charge and I might fumble, become nervous, etc. Any advice would be appreciated.

Recently, this female coworker (51) of mine that ive (M, 30) had a thing for for a while now straight up asked me “Do you wanna go to the mountains with me?”. For context, it was completely random, it wasn’t in the middle of a conversation or anything like that. We were actually at work when this happened. Anyways, I told her I was down for it, and then I asked her when this would happen, and she said she didn’t know yet but would let me know. We live in NC, btw.

We’ve known each other for a long time, I already have her number, and we text pretty often. She has a history of asking me to go out with her, but then kinda leaving me hanging. So I’m not really getting my hopes up about this little adventure. Seriously, she’s asked me to do so many things with her. Go walking in the park, go to the movies, go out to eat (with her and her oldest son), go to the state fair, and maybe some other things I’m forgetting

A little bit of info about her, she has two sons (22 and 15), she’s a Latina, she’s been married before, and she’s somewhat on the shy side. She relied on me to help her get a new car when her previous car stopped working, but I didn’t, nor have I ever spent any money on her or given her money, so this isn’t a case of her using me for money.

Like I said, I don’t want to get my hopes up about this trip, but I just can’t stop thinking about the mindset she had to have been in to ask me something like that, and I feel it’s a super positive sign that she has serious feelings for me, but perhaps she’s shy or has some kind of anxiety about dating me.

Thoughts?

Tell me about power dynamics between older women and younger men. How have they shown up and/or surprised you?

Edit: added this in a comment but adding here too:

I realise I’m not very clear about what I mean about power dynamics. I mean, do you find yourself treating your younger/older partner differently than you would someone your own age? Do you find yourself being looked up to or looking up to your partner more than you would with a partner closer in age? How do the axis of age and gender cross?

Am musing because I realised that I’ve sometimes been more accepting if same age or older partners personality quirks for being ‘stuck in their ways’ and expecting a bit more from partners who were even five years younger. I only realised later I was doing this.

Curious what others experiences are.

Hey, I'm 24 M - living these days in Pakistan. I've been attracted more towards mature women since as long as I can remember, and this is when I wasn't even exposed to anything at all.

Through the years, I've tried to explore the 'Cougar and Cub' scene here, and even across the region.... but somehow it appears to be non existent or, rare. It's not like I never found anybody, I did but it was more like dating apps and workplace. Most of them would never appreciate an age gap, only few rare ones would get close and things went off to nice chapters.

Please note here that I'm actually one of really mature guys around, wherever I am. I'm decent looking I'd say at the least, and a great orator, so I know my way around people. And yet, still facing the same issue kind of creates the question I am asking.

Is it possible that women in these region prefer something else, or have a different tendency?

Could this be true? What could be the reasons?

Thanks :)

Is it really true?

I am 44 years old and I just got asked on a dinner date and bars for afters .

This is my problem.

1. I don't want to pay

2. I don't drink alcohol

3. I am riddled with anxiety from perimenopause

4. I can only wear sneakers because my whole body hurts

5. I am not good at getting dressed to go out as look kind of shabby

6. The guy is 29 and handsome I am 44 and AVG we are going to look weird together

7. I am afraid I a being trolled and will be stood up.

Help please.

We met through a few turns of unexpected life events but ironically we're also in close proximity for about a decade without ever knowing or seeing one another.

Long story short she's about to be 51 and I'm 33.5...because I'll take that extra half.

Never have we found love like ours, get along so easy. Heck, we often think the same if she's thinking I'm speaking it and vise versa.

We're moving soon and saving for a house, making plans for future.

Sure, it's only a year, but we've both never been happier ☺️

A few concerns are the 18yr gap, not for looks because when I'm with someone I'm with them more for who they are. It's mostly the physical, knees, joints, fun stuff. When I'm 50 she'll be 68 and likely not going on any hikes anytime soon.

Bed is another story, menopause and all but I've never been too into having kids or too much into sex.

It was a rocky start because she didn't think we would work because of the age gap or maturity but I think we all can be immature at things.

I really truly do love her with all my heart and excited for another year ahead!

Anyone else?

First time poster, friend led me here.

Everything is okay but when i think about the future like 10 years I bit scared. You know 37 and 49 people get older and older, i mean 12y difference not much but still. How do you do when to comes into this?

Cougars/Cubs What have you gained or learned from your relationship/s that was positive, and unexpected? For me, I lost 40 lbs without trying (and I’ve kept it off). Tell me your experiences please

Let's get some discussions going.

My top 3 would be:

1. Even when you discuss things and think you have communicated your needs and negotiated and agreed upon things that you are able to commit to there's always a chance that your younger partner may grow and feelings may change as they mature. This is always possible in any relationship but I feel when you date younger people with little relationship experience they may not know exactly know what they want or need.

2. People may accuse you of being a predator, disgusting, foolish, naive and a range of other nasty things simple because you have given someone younger a chance to get to know you. They are usually people who have incorrect assumptions, people who have trauma in relation being taken advantage of when younger or simply jealous.

3. You will be told over and over that age is just a number and on the surface yea that's true but sometimes disregarding the age gap is not enough to get over the generation gap, differences in life and dating experience, stage of life conflicts and family dynamics.

Disclaimer: mine relate mainly to serious dating and only from my personal experience. Your experiences may differ.

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There was a recent thread about “younger man” so I thought why not a “woman”.

PS: I hate using the word “older” so I didn’t include it in the title, but I am sure you guys know what I am talking about! Also, try to keep it SFW, otherwise the mods will remove your comment. I hope we can describe woman’s body without being too sexual (at the end of the day, it’s just a human body) we have all learnt it in our science books.

In my personal experience, I get a lot of compliments on my shoulders, small waist, and muscular butt. Sometimes arms

But I am asking what do you all think is the most attractive part on a man, whether it is:

Height Abs Chest Arms Glutes Back

Or anything else?

With this obviously being an age gap related sub, it's very likely that both people grew up in different environments/generations. This can lead to different tastes, interests, etc.

What has your S/O introduced to you from their lives that you now enjoy? This can be something like a woman sharing a music artist she grew up listening to in her youth or a guy sharing an activity he loves to do that's popular with his generation.

Just watched the movie with Anne Hathaway. What did everyone think? Will it help break down barriers at all or at least help with further conversations?

I’m 30m and the women I’m interested in is 41 the reason she don’t want to do anything is because in 5 years she’ll be 46 I’ll be 35 she thinks I wouldn’t want her. Why do women think we wouldn’t still want to be with them and what should I say when she says it again

Previous post

So she told me this morning that she’s made up and recommitted to her previous partner, and likely won’t be seeing me in person again any time soon.

I really have shitty luck with women 😞

Hi All,

When I 29(M) was a senior in college I had a wild summer fling with a woman older than me.

It was an absolutely amazing experience on both an emotional and physical level. To this day I look back at the experience fondly and have great respect for the woman I was with.

Long story short, I made a rash decision to break it off during my senior year because I wanted to party with local college girls - the lady I was seeing was from a town 3 hours away.

Fast forward to now - I am moving to this lady’s town for work! This career move came out of the blue and I’ve had no contact with this lady for 8 years.

Do I reach out to her when I get established in her hometown? Is a casual relationship or FWB totally off the table? Should I not even reach out?

I know it’s weird to reach out after all these years but she’s someone I know I could trust and it would be better than starting new in a new city.

Thanks in advance for your advice !

Cub

I'm a 23 year old wasian (half white and half East Asian) man and my girlfriend is 36 and South Asian. We met almost a year ago at a social event. Ended up hitting it off with each other and hooked up. We started out as friends with benefits for a while until I asked her to be my girlfriend. She was hesitant at first but agreed to go out on a few dates and after a couple she realized the feeling was mutual and we've been official for a while.

Then again, our relationship hasn't been without a few roadblocks, especially since we come from different Asian backgrounds. Both of us look really young, but I'm practically baby faced and we've gotten a few stares while out together. As for families, her parents have been really nice and generous with me while my parents adore her (although it took a while for my mom to warm up to her, mostly due to our age difference). Dealing with extended family has been a bit tougher. A few of my Asian relatives have made snide comments about how "old" she is or how dark her skin is while some of her relatives have given her flack over my particular Asian background and for "dating so late" or whatever. It somewhat sucks having to deal with that, but I feel like bonding over our shared experiences and traumas brought us closer.

For anyone else currently in interracial relationships, what's your story? Have you faced similar issues?

My bf (22M) and I (33M) have been dating since the beginning of the year, and we are planning for him to stay with me over the summer. He is a senior in college and will be mostly looking for work because he is graduating at the end of the year.

I told my dad about this, and he went off on a long monologue as I expected. Saying I should make sure he is equally contributing financially, giving me several examples of women he knew who were in relationships with younger men who used them and then said bye bye. The examples he gave involved men who needed a visa to stay in the country, but I just let him have his shpeel 🙄

My dad has pretty sexist views. I pointed out to him about the start of his relationship with my stepmom who is 8-9 years younger than him and how when they met he paid for most stuff and that the money didn't matter to him. He said it's different, that "the man should take care of you" etc etc. He also has a divorce under his belt, and though my stepmom hasn't divorced him yet, they are pretty much roommates and he constantly dates women who are my age or younger without any intention really of divorcing my stepmom.

With all that said, I do value my dad's feedback and opinions. He has been right about my last longtime ex. And I obviously don't want to be used.

So despite my excitement over the prospect of my current bf agreeing to live with me for a couple of months, what my dad said is affecting me...

TLDR: Bf is moving in for the summer. My dad is apprehensive and doesn't want me to be used. How did you handle finances with your cub/kitten when they moved in with you? How did you deal with the opinions of your parents? What makes you reassured that you are not being used as the older one in the relationship?

Edit: Thank you for your comments and reassurance. I'm proud to be a part of this sub.

🌟 IT'S MONDAY!! This is our weekly "Off Topic Post" where you can chat with other members, check-in, tell us how your day is going, what plans you have coming up and generally what's going on in your part of the world. Remember this is our Off Topic post. No questions related to dating etc.

🌟 As a prerequisite to posting in this thread you must take the time to read the RULES & FAQs

🌟 Are you new here? Check out this post too!

🌟 If you don't you risk having your posts autodeleted by the automod bot and bans may be applied.

🌟 This is POST AND OUR SUB is strictly NO Soliciting Contact/Seeking/DM requests. The sub rules still apply across the board and it's expected that you've read them.

🌟 If you are looking to meet someone please go to our dating sub r/COUGARSANDCUBSMATCH and post it there. Read the rules before posting.

#REMINDER:

​

This is a discussion sub - no soliciting contact.

​

If you are seeking a match please go over to our dating sub r/CougarsandCubsMatch.

​

Read the rules/wiki/post requirements before you post/comment there.

​

You can make a stand alone post describing yourself and what you are looking for with 25 combined karma.

​

Or post a brief comment in our weekly **Thursday Roll Call** and a **Sunday Hunt** posts

- 10 comment karma/ASL (age, sex, location) and relationship status required.

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Was it awkward, not what you expected, awesome

Couple of weeks ago I met with someone off the internet for the first time , we're both living in the same small town and we met discreetly, which made it feel extra spicy. we have a nearly 21yr age gap and we were both INCREDIBLY shy at first but it ended up being one of the best moments of my life that I probably won't top. Anyone have any similar experiences for me it was nearly magical curious how rare that is

My boyfriend and I met on March 17th. We hit off very quickly and I’m not the first older woman he’s dated, he stated to me when we met that he is attracted to older women and he doesn’t have much luck with women his age. He is responsible, polite, was raised well, and has morals that align with my own. I had a difficult time justifying dating him when we met because I had never entertained the idea of dating someone that much younger than myself, although I have found some certain younger men attractive in the past. Typically more mature looking younger men, to be clear.

I had a conversation with a friend today, who is 5 years older than me, who had some very negative things to say about my new relationship. Possibly out of jealousy. He told me that if he dated someone with that far of an age gap, he would be called a pdf-ile and that I’m stupid for being in a relationship with someone that young.

Another friend of mine said it seems like I’m moving a bit fast, which I’ll agree, but I’ve never been this confident in being in a relationship and it working out. I have also, for the first time, felt happy with someone and not doubted where we’ll be in a few months when the honeymoon lust has tapered off. I’m legitimately happy. Every other relationship I’ve been in has had instant red flags and gut feelings that it isn’t going to work out in the long run. None of that here. I know age gap relationships can be successful. It may be opposite gender roles and I’m willing to take the risk.

He’s moving with me to Colorado in a few weeks and I couldn’t be more excited to start this new chapter and share the adventure with him.

TL;DR I’m frustrated with the backlash I’ve received from friends for dating such a younger man for my age and it’s making me feel a bit guilty and self conscious, but I’m not willing to break up with him because of other’s opinions when I’m so happy.

So I have been chatting with a younger guy I met here and he wanted to move the conversation to What’s App so I did. We exchanged pics and he started sending me dirty texts and I just played along. Then he sent me nude pics and asked me to send him one. So I did, I regret it and I feel stupid but I did it. He’s asked me to send a video of me masturbating. I’ve become uncomfortable and I plan on letting him know how I feel and I don’t want to talk anymore. I posted this on a thread for Women over 30 dating and I said I felt dirty and sick and I was told something is wrong with me because I’m acting shameful over this and nothing is wrong with nude pics/vids but I need extreme help. I know what I did was wrong and I’ve learned from my mistakes but saying me acting shameful wasn’t appropriate, at least to me. I’m not saying nude pics/videos are bad, just don’t plan on getting any from me because it’s not something I do.

I made my first post the day before yesterday about me (23M) and my girlfriend (31F).

Link: [insert link here]

I feel like she is too motherly toward me. After 2-3 dates, we started dating. For a month, after which I lost my virginity to her. But during this one month time, she comes to my apartment to deliver food to me as she knows I don’t know how to cook enough. When she comes to deliver, she brings her bag too with her laptop and all, which is kept in her car. She asks me if she can stay for the night, and if I say yes, she runs and brings her stuff over. She works 9-5. I feel like she is too motherly, like bringing me food and paying me weekly some money, even though I don’t demand anything. I massage her often to balance it. She is too kind to me. It almost feels like im using her too much. She also somehow corrected my inferiority complex. LoL. I keep saying her why did she choose me?. I couldn’t ask more from her.

My question is, is being motherly a part of it? I don’t complain about it. She is my first girlfriend so I don’t know much about it. Im still doing my Masters.

Met an older lady yesterday(age unknown) with her granddaughter while doing some rideshare driving. She got in my vehicle and immediately commented on how handsome I was and asked if I was single or married. She then followed up by asking where I am from and told me where she was from as well. She spent a majority of the ride talking to her granddaughter and once or twice inviting me into the conversation. At the end of the ride she got out and reached both hands towards me, I grabbed both of them and just held her hands. She thanks me very much for the ride, commented on how handsome I was again and how soft my hands felt. She then asked about my relationship status again and invited me to come by the house for coffee and gave me her number. I don’t want to assume but I feel “coming over for coffee” has an underlying meaning. Any ladies can tell me what this May mean or am I just overthinking it.