But yeah on the happiest days there was always something missing and on the hellish ones, always a way out. So this world was almost always something but never anything at all which made it a peculiar hell...

Checking in from my couch where my little guy is sitting on my left arm so I’m trying (with some success) to type this with one hand.

I’m so glad I got clean when I did, or he never would have existed. My life today is so worth living, when for so long I didn’t think it was.

Check in here.

I'm sure ill get some heat or possibly banned. I just left a 28-day program and I'm still struggling. Been struggling with kratom since 2016 and it has been a NIGHTMARE. I'm officially going to meetings. The effects are barely noticeable at times but the withdrawals for me have been worse than heroin. I get that it should be respected but there's a reason quitting kratom has more users than this page. Its a silent plague in my opinion. If you can use this drug responsibly than kudos to you. I almost lost my entire life and I was looking sick. Sorry for rambling. Insomnia is a bitch.

Hey guys. So I got hurt at work 5 months ago and was perscribed 100mg of tramadol a day. I have not gone over that dose except the last month where the script was changed to every 4 hours. So the last month has been like 150mg a day. I use to have a heavy oxy habit 7 years ago and that was the worst experience of my life. I have changed Dr.s and he will not continue the tramadol. I'm really nervous about stopping. I am not psychologically addicted but I'm still nervous. Need so help, support or advice. Thank you all

I am a mother of an almost two-year-old who was in chronic fentanyl addiction when I got pregnant. I had my son at a hospital for addicted mom's and they got me on to the medication that Im on today. I'm on a high dose of fentanyl patch and they only put me on this after getting me on to a high dose of Kadian and Dilaudid and that wasn't working to manage my symptoms so they put me on the fentanyl. It's been almost 2 years and I have come down off of all of the Dilaudid and most of the Kadian. I've been with my current doctor for a year and they're the only doctor in my city who was willing to prescribe my medication. He's been very supportive up until my last appointment. He asked me if I was ready to come down and my medication and I told him that I am not feeling ready that I am very stable right now and he got really angry and told me that with the amount of medication I'm on, if I was to take off one of my fentanyl patches I shouldn't be feeling any withdrawal and that Its in my head. I got really upset and explained to him that he doesn't have a right to tell me how I'm feeling. I'm feeling really stressed out now that I'm going to be forced off my medication before I'm ready and I have a little boy relying on me. Has anybody ever been through anything like this and do you know anything about my rights as a patient?

Hi everyone! I wanna share the positive side of my journey in cleaning myself from opioids. I made a post some weeks ago while I was in withdrawal stating that I wanted to get clean. That very day I called the SERT (clinic for rehab from drugs in Italy) The secretary on the phone was a bit idk, it was hard to explain things on the phone, but we managed to set up an appointment for first approach. l asked her if I should keep using or stop by myself before the appointment. She said the best thing was to keep things stable and keep using so that the medic could decide better based on my situation.

About using, l've been using OxyContin for about one year and a half. For the past half a year l've started injecting it into my veins. At first I wasn't doing a bunch, 40-80 daily, but then it got more and more into it, and for the past months my minimum daily dose was about 420mg (A full blister, which is 12 pills, of 40mg Oxy), doing single shots of 40mg to 80mg. | could go all the way up to do 1.120mg in 24hours (a whole box of 40mg Oxy), and that wasn't uncommon at all. Maybe one day I did a blister, next | did a whole box. It got even worse then my last post, where I was doing a blister a day. A whole box a day is just too much for me, I literally have a needle in me every 30mins. It has gone to the point I don't feel shit, I just do it. To be real I don't OD only because since I always have pharma Oxy, I know down to the last mg how much l'm taking, and I don't do more than 3 pills at once. But I literally feel so little since I do it so much often. It has no point anymore, but I still get the withdrawals if I go one day without it. I just wanna stop. But I was too used to it.

So, clinic day arrived, and I had a meeting with the medic. She was really a kind woman, took my matter very seriously, and was really willing to help, without judging or making me feel bad. In the clinic there are three supervisors to take care of you. A medic, a social worker, and a psychologist. I haven't met the last one yet, but literally everyone and the nurses as well are so kind it melts my heart.

I really felt cared for in the clinic. I really felt I was getting the help I needed. I'm really positive I want to stop, and I want to do it also because those women believe in me, and I want to make those women proud. The medic said she had flashbacks, cuz a 21 y/ o girl addicted to opioids IV was something not common at all in 2024 in Italy. It was more a '90s thing, and she is sad seeing someone my age using so much. The nurse is really nice as well, she asked how young I was and then said I was young like her nephew, and made a sad face. The social worker went to almost crying when we did a questionnaire about my clinical picture and there were questions about mental health and suicide. Those women are really amazing. They really wanna help you without judging at all. Wholesome moment: I had a talk with the medic about medical profession, since that's something that always interested me but I'm not diligent enough to study medicine. She said that being a medic is like having many drawers in the brain, and for every patient you fill the drawer, and maybe take out experiences from an old one. Since l'm kinda an uncommon case in 2024, I said "I hope with the drawer you make for me you'll be able to help someone else as well!" And she replied "I honestly can't wait to retire, but I won't retire until I'll make something good for you [my name]"

Everything feels so better now. I decided to go to a clinic exactly because I felt I couldn't do it alone, I needed someone to have my back, and I really found people who do so. And mind that SERT is a free state clinic. It's not a fancy clinic, you don't have to pay anything, you also get exemption from the meds and medical visits. Everyone can go there and everyone can get help.

And that's the reason I wanted to write this long ass post. I felt like I couldn't do it, I felt like there was no point in stopping, I felt like people wouldn't care whether I stopped or used or even died. But people do care, you just have to find those that see you as valuable and want you to get better. Help is there, you just gotta reach into it. Everyone can. Whoever you are, whatever your age, whether you're broke or not. Going to the clinic really helped me. Not only with stopping the addiction, but also with feeling good while doing so. Feeling like the bad times won't be for nothing, but someone will really care seeing me getting better.

You can recover as well, we can all recover. ❤️

To this day, I did some blood tests, ECG, medical visits, etc. At first I wanted to stop with just getting whatever I could take to ease the pain. Sertralin, Xanax, whatever... but now I can stop in a much safer way. Still won't be easy, but I really feel I can do it now. At the time I'm still using up to the therapy appointment, as discussed. I'm still doing too much a day, but I'll try to diminish as much as I can on my own these days. I will start my substitution therapy on the 6th. It will probably be methadone as we discussed that, but l'll see what the medic decides. I'm truly happy I can put an end to all this.

You matter too ❤️ Take care of yourself

I just had a friend tell me about this new detox drug that is helping people get through WDs called Lucemyra. He said it helps tremendously but doesn’t make it completely go away. Anyone have any experience with this?

I hate myself sometimes. I'm so glad I have an anonymous place to vent this. So in 2013 my little brother died in a car crash, we where really close long story short I lost my shit and started using heroin. I was addicted to that for 3 years hard core. I also had a toddler at the time..I quit cold turkey for him because I was sick of it. I have had 3 more babies since then(last one was last year) it was my 4th c section and I had a hard time recovering, I was sent home with 10 5mg oxy, a joke. I was still in so much pain I ordered pods...used those for it but but couldn't afford it anymore switched to seeds. Place shut down. I'm going through withdrawals that feel just like heroin and I can't fucking believe I put myself in this position again. Idk what I'm looking for in this post, just hate myself. Also my husband and kids have no idea about any of this with the seeds and I have no idea how to get through these withdrawals with no one knowing Also in the midst of my heroin addiction I went to jail for 8 months, it was really bad..and I fucked with opiates again, with 4 fucking kids. I really am an asshole

I'm just starring Buvidal and felt like writing some stuff. Please give me as much feedback as possible cheers

I've been lay in my bed for multiple days now. Communication is impossible, let alone watching Trailer Park Boys to take my mind off the buckets of perspiration dripping from my armpits like a broken freezer. I'm smoking cannabis to alleviate the dark fog in my head, where the only thing I can think of is how to get my next hit, yet the only thing I'm hitting is the ground with mylclonic seizures.

I've run out of money, no one will lend anything, I sold a couple of guitars but the money for that went down the drain quicker than my sweat forming on my forehead from withdrawals.

Staying in the hostel was dyer. It wasn't the first one i was in but I've never really lasted a week in them. My dad picked me up from the first hostel, and we lived a previous chapter. The next part of this story takes a massively chaotic incline.

well the title kinda says it all. most times waking up, I am unbelievably cold and have a weight of anxiety on my chest. is this normal almost 4 months in? i won't lie, a lot of other things have gotten better. i have been running almost everyday for the past month, my sleep for the most part is pretty decent. energy is good, but anhedonia and depression is still pretty bad, with waves of deep depression coming and going. but the chills and anxiety when waking has got to be the most annoying, well maybe other than the anhedonia.

I know this is weird af, but I was taking pharma OxyContin for a year (w some breaks) last 2 months I did like 3-5x 80mg.

So I wanted to do cold turkey, but I got covid. And it’s weird af but I don’t have wds? Like I’m shitting crazy and I’m more tired, but that’s all. How?

Happy November everyone. Don’t forget to turn back your clocks on Sunday for the extra hour of sleep we all so desperately need, if you’re able to get it.

Check in here.

Hi r/OpiatesRecovery Community,

My name is Bryant. About a year ago, turned to this community for help and to hear your experiences. Now, I’m back to share the results that you made possible. 

I’ve thought a lot about how I’d come back and share this study with you all, and words don’t even capture how honored I feel to have been welcomed here. Your contributions made something very special possible, so let me show you what we’ve accomplished: 

Thanks to your insights, I was able to publish two papers both in the International Journal of Mental Health & Addiction, currently the top-ranked peer-reviewed substance use journal globally. It’s incredible to think that your voices and experiences have reached such a wide audience. You can view the studies here (or feel free to email me here or on ResearchGate for a PDF copy):

Paper 1: Perceived Addiction Potential: Preliminary Evidence of the Accuracy of Self-Assessed Substance Use Disorder Risk

Summary: Do people know when they’re at risk of addiction? Most people professionals and other people assume they don’t. My first paper flips a common assumption on its head – turns out, people do have a sense of their addiction risk :) I asked if people can accurately sense if they're on a risky path with substance use. Turns out, they can. People had a surprisingly accurate understanding of their own substance use disorder risk. This study challenges a lot of what professionals and even friends and family assume about substance use and addictions. It makes us rethink how we assess and talk about risk in healthcare and research. Essentially, it’s about trusting people’s awareness of their own experiences and recognizing that the discrepancies in substance use reporting (for example, people saying they drink 2 days a week when it is actually five) come from the consequences of use (such as losing access to a medication), not an unawareness on our part.

Paper 2: Removing stigmatizing Language in Self-Reports: Effects on Psychometric Properties & Respondent Beliefs

Summary: How does language impact stigma in addiction self-assessments? In the second paper, I looked at how language affects people’s attitudes toward addiction. Have you ever filled out a substance use self-report? I have and they do not always feel very welcoming. So, what I tested is if switching out typical “addiction” language for less stigmatizing terms changes the way the self-report measures substance uses and if it affects our beliefs or the beliefs of people filling out these measures. I found that it does not really chance what the self-report measures; However, people’s negative biases decreased, especially in groups who weren’t familiar with substance use. So, it turns out, the way professionals word things matter a lot. This study shows that small changes in wording can transform perceptions and reduce stigma, making the whole field more inclusive. 

Materials & Data: As promised:

I am giving the data back to you, the people, and anyone who thinks they can use it to advance our knowledge and our cause. These data are your, so dive in, explore, and share as we advance our knowledge together. If you find new insights, I’d love to hear them.

You can find all the full study methods, materials (e.g., questionnaires), and dataset with a codebook at my Open Science Framework page. I believe that these data below to the people, and that I just looked through them to find patterns. So, feel free to share with others, and as you explore your data, if you find any interesting insights or new discoveries – I’d love to hear about them.

Please share your thoughts with me! What resonates with you? What misconceptions need addressing? What insights would you want every researcher or patient to know?

You can learn more about my mission here and at www.BryantStonePhD.com and you can email me at Contact@BryantStonePhD.com. You might also want to check out the acknowledgment sections of these papers.

Thank you all so much for making this possible :)

- Bryant

P.S., I will be sending this info to top substance use researchers, people running organizations, and other institutions around the world. What you share here has a real chance to shape their views – tell them what they need to hear.

Keep the Conversation Going:

About Me

About My Plan

LinkedIn

ResearchGate

Twitter

I’m just curious here if anyone else agrees but for me all the benefits of having a pain killer free life out way the feeling but them first few days/weeks of having normal aches and pains that is just part of every day living you know things like being a bit achy when you wake up in the morning or for us women our first period off opioids it’s just crazy how amplified they are because for so long everything has been numb! Anything else anyone can think of that’s just blew your mind after coming clean???

Anyone here have extreme fatigue coming off of sublocade? I had my last shot in March and recently I have been so exhausted, my energy is just gone. When I wake up I have none. In the last couple weeks it has gotten bad. I’m at the point where I almost want to take a sub strip to see if it takes this feeling away even for a short time.

My goal is still to push forward and get off this stuff. But I’m at the point where I’m wondering if I have some type of medical issue that’s causing this. I just want to know it’s from the sublocade. I would only take it once. Is this a bad idea?

I don’t have RLS, sweating, goosebumps or any other symptoms but I have also started sleeping less, waking up more in the night/earlier in the morning and not sleeping as soundly. I’m scared this is just the beginning of WD coming on very slowly

Fatigue from hell, anyone else have it coming off sublocade?

Just hit 48 hours off of 50mg/day pharma oxy use, and honestly don't feel too bad. I've been mega dosing C and taking Clonidine/Lyrica at night. Stomach is not great, and some chills sweating first day. Slept ok with comfort meds. Still able to exercise both days and that actually helped a lot.

Question for those who quit a similar habit, which were your worst days? When did you feel like you turned a corner and back to normal functioning? Trying to figure out when I can re-engage with work, social activities, etc. but don't want to get too excited that I'm through it yet. : )

I have been clean for almost two years (I stopped counting and just live life). I still do get mental cravings..not often at all but probably once or twice every two months or so. What I do is go buy something that I want that is about $400…that’s the amount I spent on pills back then on reups…so today is one of those days, so I went to bought myself an Apple Watch and im enjoying the shit out of it. Any ex addicts on here that do that lol??

After like 10 relapses on F and fake 30s without losing my amazing job and completely fucking my life up, so close so many times but I’ve been doing this for 10 years… I’m 2 weeks off shit and on subs right now I take about 2 mg 3 times out of day and feel good now… suboxone used to be heaven sent to me in the H days but with fent it’s a whole different ball game lol just want to thank everyone for the advise and stuff I recently had 7 months off of all that shit and fucked it up so now I’m going to give it a real shot and actually put some effort in

I am currently tapering off of oxy, and am almost completely clean.

I have been switching off between my ambien and clonidine for sleep, because ive been having really bad insomnia.

I dont like having to take pharmaceutical drugs every night, so im wonder if there are any natural remedies you guys would recommend?

I thought about melatonin, but after looking through this sub, it sounds like it can worsen restless leg syndrome, which i get pretty bad.

Ive been trying ashwaganda, and am willing to try whatever else may work.

Thanks in advance for any help! If i find something that works even just a little bit it would be a miracle!

Happy Halloween, y’all. Somehow my body feels worse than it did yesterday and I worked out but I wasn’t able to keep up with myself. I’ve also been kind of listless in general due to some stuff in my personal life that only needs discussing with my therapist but it really is affecting me.

Check in here if you have anything to share today.

I barely post but when I do, I receive nothing but love and positivity from you guys since you guys know it best!

Tried to go sober for a bit..and withdrawals kicked my ass like a truck. Especially since I would be on it during work. Half of the time is for the pain of my lower back (herniated disc) and the other half is for the high.

Idk about you guys, but do you guys get a burst of energy while on opioids? Or when you used it? Idk if it’s just me but (sounding like an addict) I can function great and work fine while on it.

But after doing 60-120mg a day for the last week and a half, my guy ran dry until god knows when. He gave me a heads up, I tried to taper down so that I didn’t get too sick but fuck dude..the first 12 to 24 hrs kicked my ass. I was yawning so much, I couldn’t focus, my anxiety out the roof, legs keep moving, and work kinda getting done but not really.

I got really desperate and found an old script of mine for hydros and that helped me get unsick. But obvi my detox/sober clock reset. I just took it. I couldn’t sleep. I just wanted to go to sleep so that time could pass but I just COULDNT. Anyways just to express how I’ve felt. I spoke to my S/O about my withdrawals kicking my ass and she was supportive but she kinda made me feel like shit. Said how it was my fault in the first place and that I deserve to feel those symptoms. Idk if it was just the withdrawals making me angry but it hit a nerve that I didn’t want to get hit. I kept my mouth shut but I want/need support not bashing or anything like that.

Am I crazy for thinking that? I agree to an extent but there’s no need to kick a dead horse even more lol.

TW: suicide, family substance use disorder Trying to make it short but feels like a lot of details. My brother — in his late 40’s — developed an addiction to I believe fentanyl around 2 years ago (that I know of). At the time there was an intervention and rehab. And although my mom was hopeful that was the end of it, I knew this was the beginning of a journey for my family. Since then my mom has continued to support him in many ways and he has taken advantage of that support multiple times. Now it’s hard to know what is true and what is manipulation. He claims he is currently not on drugs but he has said and done things completely out of character to my mom and his family, and I don’t even recognize the person I hear about anymore. He has mentioned suicidal thoughts to multiple people. My mom has pushed him to get help such as therapy and doctors since he has prior health conditions. But it seems like he won’t do anything to help himself. I normally don’t post or ask for help on these things. But I feel desperate as we navigate through this. My mom is old and has to deal with the stress and worry of her son. She has talked about completely cutting herself off from him due to his disrespectful actions. I worry we are maneuvering through this all wrong and that we will regret not supporting him better.

Long story very short. I haven't had any experience dealing with opiates until recently. 10 days ago, one of my teeth got infected and the pain was excruciating. The earliest my dentist could get me in for a root Canal was scheduled for 2 months away, but luckily had a cancelation and I got it done 8 days after initial infection. In the time leading up to that, I had a bottle of percocet 5/325s left over from a surgery that I took 1 or 2 every 6 hours for about 10 days along with close to max daily doses of Ibuprofen. Well yesterday I had my root Canal and my tooth was so infected, I took 60 mgs total yesterday and This morning, I only took 1 5mg pill cause pain was getting more tolerable. My pain is at a point now that I'm going to just stick with Tylenol and Ibuprofen going foward. Well 22 hours after my last dose, I'm now laying in bed, shaking, nauseous, getting up to pee like every 10 minutes, can't sleep, hot and cold, and anxiety through the roof. All the research I've done said a short less than 2 week stretch of this lower dosage shouldn't give problems. People with experience, what is happening to me and how long do you think it will last? Just looking to put my mind at ease and move on from this tooth nightmare.

TL:DR No real opiate experience. Infected tooth. 10 days of Percocet 5-325s taking 2 to 6 a day, following prescription instructions. Now after not taking one for almost 24 hours, I feel pretty ill and full of anxiety. How long do you think it will it last?

Tomorrow will be day seven of methadone detox and I’m just laying in bed now not able to sleep since I napped earlier in the day. I’m coming off of 2mg down from 90 tapered over the last six months and I can’t tell if the worst of it is over. Just been sneezing / yawning a ton the past six days and this is the first night I’m having very mild rls. I’ve read different accounts of people saying it didn’t hit them until week two, while others say it was over by week two lol.

I’m hoping it’ll be somewhat over by mid November since I’ll be moving. Tomorrow is also the day of the week I go to the clinic, but I don’t think I’m gonna go. I still have my doses from this past week and plan on throwing them out once I’m fully in the clear.

Hi,

I was traveling, did raw opium ( tarry black latex called afeem in local language) for 3 days in the row at night first time in my life with no history of opiate use. 29 M.

Just for fun as my bro had those, it's been 48 hours and only issue I am having is bit diariha and insomnia.

When will it pass ? I did pea amount all 3 days.

Rest everything fine and no it was just experiment and no motivation to repeat it.

Let me start this off by saying that I am not promoting anyone to try this method without consulting a doctor first.

So obviously it’s extremely hard to switch from Fent to Subs due to the fact that if you don’t wait 3-4 days after your last dose you get sent into immediate precip. And who can wait that many days?

I read an article showing the different ways some doctors are dealing with this problem. One route was to give yourself a dose of Narcan, and once you’re in complete precipitated withdrawal, you take the sub. It said it essentially clears your receptors and gives the subs the room to cling to them. So instead of suffering the 3-4 days you wait to take the sub and still risk being in precip for hours and hours, you send yourself into pure WDs immediately, take the sub and just suffer for the 45mins to an hour it takes the sub to kick in.

Has anyone ever tried this? If so what was your experience? Would this even work?

I had been taking 4 5/325mg Percocet, every day for a long time. I ended up recently having to get an emergency procedure done, where they have prescribed me 1mg dilaudid, which I was taking 2mg every 4 hours but now I’m down to just 1mg three times a day. I don’t like the dilaudid, it does nothing for my pain. I figured though, since it’s been over a week since my last Percocet, it might be easier to get off of these things entirely, with the help of a drug I don’t enjoy. Is this a delusional thought? Everyone is scaring me telling me just how much stronger it is, but it doesn’t feel like it. For the first time in a long time, I’ve been waking up not sick, enjoying my day without worrying about when I’m gonna take my next pill. Am I screwed bc the Dilaudid is technically stronger?

Well.. what can I say bumped into a mate, got 14 pressed diazepam msjs, and 90mg of codeine by a friend. Lol "friends" ay. Well had 5 or 6 feel like low dosed bromazolam. But yeah I'm 24 years old and just can't shake the cravings of feeling mellow and nice. I know I'll lose control. Been through clincs being sectioned. Nothing bothers me Been a heavy drugs user for 8 years. Crack heroin Xanax pressed opaites real opaites surred grand mals, I just always think fuck it I've tried everything. Just trying not to beat my self up about today and get on with it smoke tons of weed to, got a baby on way in january a house mortgage with the love of of my life. Rant over apprictate any comments.

So, I’ve kind of been doing that. Some people say to not do any drinking at all. Alcohol has never been my thing. I bought a six pack and it took me a few weeks to finish it.

Does anyone have any experience with this sort of thing?

Basically developed a whole bunch of health problems while using and got worse after stopping opiates completely. The histamine intolerance came after quitting methadone