I’ve never been to anything like this, even talking to my therapist openly makes me shake and get hella anxious.

My boyfriend thinks it would be good for me to give it a try, but I have general anxiety before adding in feeling exposed.

Could someone maybe walk me through the general expectation of what happens from walking in the room? Is it similiar to what we see on tv for AA???

As it says my brother P (42) is a meth addict. He's in denial and no level of intervention will reach him because our mom (and to a lesser degree our dad, parents are divorced) will not let him reach rock bottom. I have, thru a lot of therapy come to terms with this and will no longer try to "make them see the light" at the cost of my relationship with them. In short I will not let P cause more pain in our family over my need "to be right". I've also come to the place where I have found love for him over the anger after lost of therapy.

P will not get help not for his addiction nor for the severe mental health issues, one of a number of "awesome" family genetics. Our dad, P and myself all struggle horribly with chronic depression. Mom and I (and probably P to some degree) suffer from anxiety disorders. Add to this P was a stand out HS football player in a small town and had at least 3 concussions that sent him to the hospital during that time. If you could see the difference between his friend group who were star football players versus those that weren't, you would truly understand the reality of CTE, it's breath taking and heart breaking. After talking to my therapist, who's got a lot of experience in addiction therapy and co-morbid personality disorders things P has borderline personality disorder from a combo of genetics and brain injury prior to 18.

P has a defibrillator implanted because he's been in last stage heart failure since he's late 30s. The men on both sides of our family tend to check out early with heart conditions, our dad being an outlier because he did a whole life 180 at 50 after being rushed into heart surgery after doing a stress test. So in short P started with a genetically bad heart and has been an addict of some sort since at least 19, which was an arrest for coke possession. Bad heart plus his choice of upper drugs equals bad heart throwing in the towel 20 years earlier than average for the fam.

Now he's managed to get disability benefits because of his heart condition, he worked construction.

So I guess point of this is how long do we have now that he is getting regular money before the call comes? We live in Appalachia, he lives (at least when he's at mom's) in one of the worst hit counties in our state for opiates. Somehow him being on disability has reawakened the whole guilt about knowing I will feel relief when this is all over. And while all of us, parents, and siblings will be devastated, we've been mourning for so long already. I love my little brother more than he can understand. But fuck I'm exhausted at every bit of "good news" about him just being a hidden dagger. Money to buy drugs, a defibrillator that will basically give him a "mule kick" (his words) to the chest every time his heart stops. The idea of him ODing but being constantly "restarted" until the battery dies haunts me.

I just had to write this out to the ether. Thanks for reading.

My husband has been clean from opiates for almost 10 years. He went from opiates, to Suboxone, to Kratom. He has been taking kratom for 9 years and it’s excessive. At least a kilo every 3 weeks. My passion is traveling and he loves it too but his kratom use has hindered us from traveling out of the country. A year and a half ago I told him I was planing my dream trip out of the country for July of 2025. He begged for more time. I told him I wasn’t asking him to quit, I was just asking him to figure it out (advice from my therapist). I also told him I do not want him to wait until the last minute to try and withdrawal because then we will both just have a miserable trip. 6 months away from the trip now and he is still taking a kilo of kratom every 3 weeks. My family says I should postpone the trip so he has the time to get clean; I refuse, and this is where the guilt comes in. I love him more than anything in this world and all I want to do is help him recover. I feel like if he can’t get clean in a year and a half, another year will make no difference. I’ve offered all the help I can and at this point I’m ready to go on this trip alone if it comes to this. I feel like this boundary is abandoning him and it seems cold and harsh. We are a team and I’m suppose to be there to support him in every aspect of life so it seems wrong. On the other hand, without this boundary, I don’t think I’ll ever be traveling out of the country.

A quick backstory (can view my previous post for more details), but a year ago I had gotten my own apartment due to the past 7 years of my husband relapsing and never making it to at least 1 year of sobriety and the lack of willingness to work on recovery deeper than just being sober.

The past year he had been working with his counselor at the methadone clinic he goes to and has been working on tapering off his methadone as he feels he no longer needs it after being on it for 3.5 years and has agreed to getting the vivitrol shot once he is able to after he’s done with methadone. He also would be continuing sessions with the counselor at the clinic.

He’s tapered down from 120mg the past year and has been doing great, until last week when he went down from 5mg to 3mg. He stayed home from work due to the lack of sleep (minor withdrawal) and instead of staying home to rest, he went out and found his DOC (H which is always mixed with F nowadays). He’s been using since until he got too messed up on the 4th night and left it out, so I threw it away. He’s spent yesterday sober and is no going through the withdrawals worse than he was before he used H. The methadone clinic let him go up from his 3mg to 10mg today, but 2 hours later he woke me up saying he’s sorry but he feels like shit and doesn’t know what else to do and is now on his way to get Kratom.

My lease ends this month and I was going to move back into our house together but now I’m just not so sure I want to. I feel bad as I understand he’s going through hell right now and there’s nothing I can do to take away his pain and I am just too tired from everything. I am trying to be supportive and only acknowledge positive behavior, but I’m struggling with the idea of giving up my place because what if this is not a slip, and what if this cycle continues on past just this week. I put in boundaries for myself that if he were to pick up H again this month, I would see if I can renew my lease. Although he’s not picking up H right now and is communicating his actions and I do believe he is sorry, I don’t want to say to him that he just needs to suffer through the withdrawals but I’m not sure what he or I can do right now. I guess it’s a wait and see if things change this week but I also don’t want to wait until it’s too late and get stuck again. It’s hard when I believe he is trying but I also expect him to not use, but I can see he is suffering. I don’t want to be cold but also don’t want to be too empathetic or enable this behavior. His last two slips lasted 2-4 weeks where all the times before were 1-4 months, not sure if that makes a difference.

I know the decision of what to do is up to me but I’m looking to see if anyone else can relate and if it’s possible that this is just a one off slip or if it’s going to escalate further as it has always done.

I kicked him out but he hasn’t returned his keys. Apparently his family knew and didn’t tell me. He stole $350 I was saving from my daughter’s dresser drawer :(. I’m so sad. We’ve been together for 10 years. So sad for my daughter. What do I do next? If anything? Completely alone in this. Should I tell my family? Should I file a police report? Let it go? How do I help my 8 year old understand her Dad won’t be around anymore?

My 19 year old was homeless for 4 days and injected himself with heroin fir the first time.

What are the long term effects on meth?. My brother has used for a few years and now is experiencing finger tip pain. What else can happen. What are some ways to help for his treatment? He wants to get better but where do we start.

My Q is my boyfriend. He came over on Wednesday and told me after his latest detox in late November, he has been using and lying to me. Without thinking, I broke up with him. I am heart broken and regret how I handled things. The very vulnerable, human, and albeit codependent side of me keeps thinking "Why didn't I offer him my help again? Why didn't I ask him if he wanted to do a program? Why did I have to use the works break up?". The logical side of me knows no matter how I cut it, I do not accept a person who is in active addiction and has shown very little initiative at recovery.

At first, he was remorseful, apologetic, and saying he would stop... to which I said, "Yes, you need help, and if you want, I can support you through that", and other firm but kind things. Then he got nasty, saying I abandoned him when he most needed my help. Our last text exchange is me asking if he wants to stop doing heroin, him saying "Yes I do. But I'll do it myself. I don't want to bother you." And now texts asking if I am okay, and that it is weird to not talk.

Idk what I am looking for here. But boy am I hurting. I have never been this emotionally uncomfortable in my 31 years on this planet, it feels like my brain and skin is on fire. I'd love nothing more for him to get on track with a program. But I know I am not doing him, or more importantly me, any favors by engaging with him. I guess I just need some works of encouragement. Been crying the last 24 hours. Sooo many big feelings.

My mom has been an opiate addict for 15 years. We had an intervention with her 10 years ago and she swore up and down she was off them and we had no proof that she was using. We still have no proof even though she’s been fired from two jobs for stealing prescriptions from patients (she works in nursing homes) an investigation was done the first time by attorney general and they gave her a second chance. She was fired the second time this month so who knows if another investigation will be done. She got on adderall seven years ago and obviously abuses them. She stays up for several days in a row, she picks at her face and has sores all over, she makes up delusions in her head and verbally abuses me about it, she told my sister last week that she has stolen drugs from multiple family members. When we told my dad all of this three days ago she denied everything and sent me crazy hate texts telling me to fuck off and that she’s disowning all of us. My dad 100% believes her no matter what we tell him. He is the only one she can control and manipulate and I don’t think there’s any way she will get treatment unless he stops enabling her. We’ve already distanced ourselves and taken away access to our children and she couldn’t have cared less.

TLDR: my dad is my mom’s enabler and won’t admit there is a problem.

The other day I was caught in some really bad rumination about the lies and I had told him I needed some time for myself and he asked if I was mad at him and I was honest and said I was feeling anger from the lies and he’s been depressed ever since. He’s also upset about me not wanting to sleep with him because he would feel bad for asking. I should have ended things then and there knowing how deep a wound it struck… and it’s barely been even a month since this happened why would imma trust be so easily given..

I don’t really know if this goes with the sub, but I’m really struggling with my fiancée’s weed addiction. So basically, I’ve been with my fiancé for a little over 3 years. We met at work and we instantly clicked. He was really honest about his addiction but we live in a country where weed is “tolerated”, so basically everyone says it’s okay. At first it was fine, I didn’t really care since it didn’t affect our relationship. The only problem i had was that we were always hanging out at his house (his mom smokes too so they smoked inside), and he never wanted to go out to do stuff. I was new to the country so I really wanted to discover new places, but it was hard with him. Eventually, when we started to have arguments, it got really frustrating since he was too stoned to actually be a part of the conversation. Thats when i started to have a problem with it. Anyway, we kept going and things got serious. We got engaged 1 year ago and a month later we moved in together. Everything was great at the start, but once I started realising the amount of money he was spending on weed, i had a conversation with him about quitting. He basically got really angry and said “this is my life, i only live once and i want to enjoy it” and completely discarded the idea. For a couple of months we went back and forth having conversations about it, and in one of those he told me we would choose weed over me. Also, one of those times I grabbed his bag of weed because i was really angry, and he grabbed me really hard leaving blue spots on my arms. I thought about leaving him several times but i was so blindly in love that I thought i could manage. Fast forward to last October, we went to visit my home country. He offered to come with me, and even when i said no because i knew it was a bad idea, he insisted, so i got us both tickets. The week prior to the trip, he was really anxious, and it was getting me a little anxious too. He started having cold feet and was really grumpy. In the end, he did come, and it was amazing. In my home country, weed is not illegal but it’s only allowed for personal consumption, and the police can take it away if they want. I had a friend who managed to get me 3 grams, but even then, he went from smoking about 8 joints a day, to one joint per two days. I was really excited, I thought it was going to stay like that. I told him how proud i was and he was also really happy with it. Once we came back, he kept that pace for about 3 weeks, then shifting to 2 joints a night. I still thought it was good, but I reminded him the goal was to quit. Now, here we are. All the progress is basically gone. He is smoking 4 joints a day (always after work), and he went back to being angry all the time. Im posting this because we just had an argument, I reminded him the goal was to quit and he screamed at me and left the room. Our financial situation is not the best at the moment, i had to stop my full time job and only work weekends because college started demanding more time from me. And he is finishing his internship so he can only work weekends too (and his internship doesn’t pay good at all because in the country we live in the tax situation is crazy and they basically take 50% of his salary), so our wedding had to be postponed because of this. Now, I’m honestly done with this. He came back with the “this is my life and i do what i want with it” argument, and i just think i cant fight that. Part of me wants to stay and make him understand how much i care about him and how much i love him. I want him to realise his life affects me too, that i don’t want to lose him, that i want to have a sober person i can talk to, who doesn’t forget everything i say. I want to have a life with him, because other than this, he is a really nice and caring person. But the other part of me is so tired. I only go out with friends, i cant plan a vacation because “how is he going to smoke?”, i cant do anything with him because all he wants is stay in the couch smoking until he falls asleep. I am tired of worrying about the future, about the health problems this may bring, about our financial situation. I just don’t want to get married, have kids, and then realise i cant take this anymore when it’s too late. Should i give him a chance to quit? Should i keep pushing? Or should i leave and let him live his life how he wants? Or am i in the wrong here?

I know weed its not a drug that will kill you, and i know there is way worse things. So I’m sorry if this post is not right for the sub, but I really needed to get all of this out.

Btw, I’m sorry if there is any mistakes, English is not my first language.

Thank you for reading.

Do you tell the person (my dad in this situation) you are done? What if they end up recovering? Do you leave that door open?

I’m so sick of going back and forth on the situation every few months sober to relapse to sober to relapse again. But if one day he is in recovery and is stable I’d be open to having a relationship again.

Hi everyone,

I have been wondering whether to post here for quite some time but I have finally got the guts to do it. Reading all your posts and comments makes me feel seen and heard. My story is the following. I met my Q one year ago and at the time she was an active C user. We dated for 3 months initially but she was going out of control and I decided to stop seeing her. She didnt want to lose me and promised me to start recovery and I gave her a chance. Unfortunately, after 5 months she relapsed this week and everything that followed was a shit show. She got drunk and then called her dealer. We had a fight because I cannot tolerate that and made that obvious from the very beginning.I left her place in the middle of the night. On the following morning she apologised and promised that it would not happen again and that I should give her another chance. I know deep down that things would never go back to normal even if they ever were. I'd be happy to hear your opinion.

My Dad is using like 4 substances besides alcohol. He was sober for maybe 6 years ish after getting out of prison (which he was in for majority of my childhood) until he received a diagnosis that gave him a life expectancy of 2 years. It has been more than 2 years ago that that happened and he’s still alive but that caused him to start dabbling in things like coke. He’s doing so much coke and so much heroin like it’s insane. My mom is not talking to him right now because of his violent and irrational behavior and I don’t blame her, he’s scary right now. He called me high on crack at 5am talking crazy asking me to call my Mom and tell her to call him it freaked me out SO much I was then bombarded with texts and calls that day of the same nature, but he got angrier and angrier. He’s spamming my brother and my mom with the same calls and texts. I had to block him because it’s so so bad. He’s becoming more threatening and violent towards my mom mostly but he has also called my brothers girlfriend a bitch and said he was coming to my brothers house which is super scary. He will lie and say he is in town even though he’s states away. Unfortunately he is actually in town right now and at the house, me and my brother have since moved out but all of our family pets are there. I don’t know if he’s taking care of them properly and we can’t find out because we’re all too scared of him to go to the house. He has moments of clarity where he will apologize to my brother or ask what he can do to be back in our lives which breaks my heart into a million pieces because I love my dad but I just can’t listen to his drug filled rants I don’t wanna see him like that. I feel so guilty for blocking him because I don’t want to waste what precious time I have with my dad because of his illness. There’s so much more to it but I don’t want to type anymore. I just wanted to talk to anyone else who has gone through something similar.

My Q may be entering it this weekend and I was curious how it went for others.

We all come here and are faced with everyone telling us to run away and they never recover, but does anyone have a happy ending?

Just looking for some positive outcomes as well as staying away and educated on the negatives. Thanks!

Greetings! I’m new here and not really sure if I’m in the right subreddit. I’m currently living with an alcoholic. I need to find a support group and wondered if this is narcotic addiction only? Thanks

Last night my hubbs of 24 years brought up the idea of us using flower together. Im 46 ... never touched drugs, but also have alot of religious " ingrained teachings" He told me months ago that if I feel like i missed out in my 20s he supports me if i wanted to do something. I really dont think i could ever feel comfortable with this. Im like waaaay too freaked out to make a mistake. I'm working on giving myself room to be imperfect. He was like ready to go get some. And I was like dude, I dont think I could really do that, and I'd never want it in my home. That would just not feel right. He's in recovery but it's like his idea of recovery is different than it used to be. It seems like he gets a new idea every couple weeks.
This morning he was a bit of a jerk. He got rude and snippy when I said he was quiet and asked him if he was tired. I was hurt and then all shaky bcuz I was upset and mad. I'm just so tired of the up and down. I started wishing I lived on my own. And I feel like scared with how different things are compared to how they used to be with us. . He's dealt with and still dealing with stuff in therapy and loves himself and feels so much better about himself. He's not hard on himself like he was. But that doesn't mean I'm ok with my husband that is easily addicted to things , using Marijuana!! That's just crazy. I'm just so tired of this craziness. Anyone daydreamed of a life alone ( with kids)and feel guilty about it?

i’ve been thinking a lot about what it will look like when my ex gets out of rehab, assuming he chooses to stay clean (and i know that’s highly unlikely).

i know that active users feel no empathy so when he tried apologizing for everything i told him it didn’t mean anything and to stop.

when i said my goodbyes to him on the phone (while he was in a psych inpatient facility a couple days before his mom picked him up and took him to an out of state rehab) i told him that at the end of this if he gets clean and i hoped he did that i deserve a real apology, one that he means, and that i deserve to tell him to go fuck himself for everything he did when he does.

now that i’m two weeks removed from it i guess i do still have a lot of questions, mostly involving the cheating and the validity of our relationship. i guess i just want to hear why i wasn’t enough, based on the receipts i got from his phone the cheating got severe when he started smoking crack and really ramped up after he started doing meth, but there were times before he moved away and things got bad that i caught him being sketchy around girls in college.

im kind of numb to the situation at this point though, and those questions are starting to wane.

i guess im wondering if he reaches out at the end of this to make amends do i pick up?

not to take him back, there will be nothing between us at the end of this regardless, but just to close out the relationship officially.

would it do more harm than good?

i don’t know.

let me know your thoughts please.

for context here’s a link to a post i wrote right after i found out about his addiction and infidelity: https://www.reddit.com/r/naranon/s/75ESc81Ji0

So me and my now ex went long distance pretty early. I didnt know but he had long been struggling with a meth addiction. I am fairly sympathetic with addicts but i would have asked for space and to not continue dating if i had known.

Basically at some point early on we had also had issues with our relationship being a bit up in the air and it wasnt fully exclusive at this point and we didnt know if we were going to make it happen long term, but then at some point he had decided he wanted to take our relationship serious ans we should be exclusive. Once he decided he wanted to the relationship serious he decided to try quit meth. He left the place he lived to find a new work as he used to work in a very party environment. However at his new job someone offered him meth so he quit that really quickly. He had a month off so went on a road trip with some friends, so he had managed 1 month no meth at this point. On the road trip he bumped into an old friend of his and they smoked meth together, he then went to go try find his friends at the bar they'd been at but they had gone home, so then he bumped into some people from the place they were staying and hung out with them, carrying on drinking a bunch. They all go home and then this one girl asked him if he wanted to carry on drinking and he just wanted to keep the party going. Obviously one thing led to another and they had sex. Funny enough at the time i remember him crying to me the day after but he didn't tell me why he just said he'd felt really depressed (this was common at that point- he would call me in afternoons really upset and depressed. I now assume this was because he was on a comedown).

So yeah he said after this he really knew he needed to get off meth. He thinks he had been a bit over confident that he wouldnt do anything bad because he had had no desire to sleep with anyone. Um so yeah i think he smoked meth a week after this again but didnt meet up with anyone he was just on his own. Then i think after that he really realised he could not keep himself off meth on willpower alone so he moved back in with his grandma to keep himself away from his meth friends and the party lifestyle. He said he knew it was his fault for cheating because he had chosen to do meth but that he doesnt think he would have cheated without it because he had been drinking with this girl before and had never had any interest in her.

Hes taken accountability and decided to quit after it happened as he realised if he continued to smoke meth it could just continue to happen again and again. but for me it makes me too sad to stay with him even if he is sober now, which he is pretty understanding of. It took him a long time to admit to as well. He really seems so different now than before i feel shocked i didnt notice it before.

I was just wondering if it could be true that he didnt want to cheat on me when sober but might still cheat when high on meth? And also if anyone else has dealt with a former addict partner and how it felt realising there were two different people you were dating. Like honestly who he is now sober is wonderful, and now finding out he used to be this awful person (and could be again if he relapsed) is hurting me. That I found someone I had a really great connection with and it could have been so great if it wasnt for this addiction of his. He used to lie about pointless things, things that didnt even need to be lied about (although i only found out they were lies recently). Its been a lot, im glad he is sober now and i hope he stays that way. Even though because of the distance i dont think his addiction affected me really so very much i feel a bit retroactively shocked, hurt and decieved. I feel like im questioning every aspect of the relationship now, if he even loved me.

Sorry for long post.

My Q (34m) and I (32f) have been together for a little over 4 years and have a 1.5 year old together. I found out about the drug use (crack/coke is his doc) about 6 months in but it was downplayed for a while. He had one year sober in 2022 and a relapse/hospitalized overdose in June after his mom was diagnosed with cancer. He was then sober until he relapsed again until March 2023 when his mom died and I was already 5 months pregnant. The remainder of my pregnancy was spent in active addiction until the night before I went into labor when he said he was serious about getting clean. He was sober from July 2023 until August 2024 with one relapse. Again he said it wasn’t worth it or worth losing his family over. He started an outpatient program, regular drug screenings and therapy and I thought he was doing well. I found texts in his phone yesterday from last Saturday asking someone for drugs. They never answered him. I was with him the entire weekend and know he didn’t get drugs but I told him I found them and he was apologetic at first. Said it was a moment of weakness and he wouldn’t do it. We ended up fighting because I was obviously hurt and tonight he left and picked up and is currently high. I won’t let him inside because I’ve always told him he would never bring drugs anywhere near our child. I’m a wreck, sobbing uncontrollably and cannot pull myself together, trying to take care of a toddler. Does this ever get better?

It’s been about a week since I kicked him out and I have started the divorce process. Today he was sectioned and I was granted a RO. My anger is turning into guilt thinking about how sad and helpless he must feel in detox right now. I keep remembering “good times”. And although my brain can rationalize how awful it was, my heart strings are pulling and I’m feeling the trauma bond. Looking for some strength to keep me pushing in the right direction.

I’ve lost all sympathy. This is the third time my husband has relapsed and is now withdrawing. He is miserable to be around, so explosive and impatient, and it’s like walking on eggshells around him. I’ve lost all sympathy I once had for his struggle with opioid addiction. I was in the ER last week with what I thought was appendicitis and he was withdrawing, and I couldn’t even trust that he was in a good enough mental state to take care of our two kids. I know the struggle he’s in withdrawing right now, but losing trust that I can have something happen to me and not be 100% sure my kids will be okay, just doesn’t sit right with me. What do I do when I just can’t take the shit that comes with withdrawal and who he has become? I’m so tired. It’s affecting my mental health and my kids, too.

I’m looking for insights and experiences from people who have been in relationships with crack/cocaine addicts or have dealt with them as family members.

It seems like every substance brings unique challenges, so I’m curious about the specific dynamics of dealing with someone using crack/cocaine.

1.	What has your experience been like as a partner or family member? (Feel free to share both positive and negative stories.)

2.	Have you found light at the end of the tunnel? Are there any success stories of sobriety?

3.	Is it true that quitting crack/cocaine—especially for those smoking it from a glass pipe—is almost impossible for addicts?

4.	Does the black soot from the pipe leave stains or damage in areas where they smoke?

5.	What are some of the common behaviors you’ve observed when they’re high? (For example, do they tend to rummage through things, mess up their home, become calm, overly talkative, or agitated?)

Any advice, insights, or stories of hope would be greatly appreciated. Thank you in advance!

Should I give up and leave for good?

My bf of a year says he wants a future w/ me and needs my support w/ not using meth, but then never talks about it, isn't in any actual support groups, and still surrounds himself w/ users "b/c of his job". I ask him to at the very least not bring drugs into my home (I'm scared for my cats and also, I mean it's meth so I don't think it's that outlandish of an ask), and I have found them repeatedly. Then a blow up happens when confronted, we break up, I'm suckered into giving another chance, process repeats under the pretense he will stop using.

2 weeks ago I was going to leave for good after finding residue in my basement and we had it out, and he agreed to get clean/be honest if he slipped up and consent to drug tests. I haven't implemented drugs tests yet but after he left today, his tissues from the trash, and other things, tested positive for residue. Without telling him that, I asked when he used last and he responded 2 weeks ago.

Clearly he's lying, again, as usual. He's great at hiding it, but doesn't know how great I've become at finding it. Lucky me a new skill for my resume!

My question is, when is enough enough? I know it's an addiction, I can't fix him and this isn't the life I want or deserve. But he's not a monster either.

If I could give myself advise, it would be to get out and cut ties/block altogether. But I never listen.

thank you everyone who read my story and responded with advice or encouragement, it has helped me immensely.

i finally got my std test results back and by some miracle every panel was negative. i’m going to repeat the test in a few months just to be extra safe but i feel so relieved.

through conversations with his family, friends, and just reflecting on my own conversations with him i’ve concluded that my ex has been an addict longer than he hasn’t.

he started stealing pills from his parent’s medicine cabinet in 5th grade and has been substance seeking since then. his doc is cocaine, but when that got expensive after he moved away 2 and a half years ago he started smoking crack since it was cheaper, the meth has been a recent addition within the last few months.

it’s all so heartbreaking, but i haven’t felt like crying since Wednesday just more so numb to it all.

i’ve been going through old photos, and videos, and texts of ours before he moved away. he was still an addict then, that’s clear to me now, but he was still in relative control.

the difference between him then and him now is obvious, the darkness that he had explained away for so long wasn’t there in those old videos.

that has helped me a lot, the man that i loved left me a long time ago. the person that i’ve been with since is something else entirely, and saying goodbye to “it” is much easier.

i sincerely hope that he is able to gain sobriety, though i know that the chances he relapses are staggering. i’ll miss the person he was before he left me, but it’s out of my hands now.

i’ll be okay.

my story:

https://www.reddit.com/r/naranon/s/1nNbzaYw2b

Our son is across the country at college and dealing with depression and self medicating with weed. He has been dealing with episodes of depress off and on since Highschool. He is freshmen in he managed 1st semester and got decent grades. However he lost a lot of weight and at home on break revealed depression and that he was using weed excessively to cope. Made a plan to see therapist back at college. Start going to gym and stop start getting involved and doing more self care and stop self medicating.

Since he has been back he has been making effort to get back to gym and eat healthy. He has made it to class but he is still self medicating. He feels since he cut back it's better. Part of the problem is his only 2 friends are in same situation. So basically they are enabling each other. He claims to have cut back but knows it's a slippery slope. We finally got him to make an appt with counselor. However he is still avoiding help from other resources and starting to still hide away in dorm if not in class. Are our expectations reasonable ? We have kept non judgemenal open communication and reminded him it's a process . Secretly I am heartbroken that he will not get more help. I have suggested peer support groups, resource counselors and stuff as simple as make sure to do HW in library don't eat in your dorm . Are the steps we are asking unreasonable for a person with depression. Or is going to class the bear min? He is supposed to meet with counselor on Tuesday.

Or in most cases they continue the same patterns, decisions, addictive behaviors? I ask this because ll the addicts I personally have known have all been abusive mentally and physically (family, partner, friends) have NOT changed. Improved at some points, never consistent. However, none of them actually have done therapy,behavioral programs or classes…

Let people face natural consequences. Don't create drama or crises for consequences to occure to the Q. That's what I understand about "Do not create a crisis". I hope i got it right...

Assuming that I do, or am at least fairly close, how far do we take that? Personally, i think if we know someone is putting others in imminent danger (such as driving drunk) we can let the proper authorities be aware. But I had an incident tonight with my Q that has me wondering what is the best thing to do.

Q got out of jail on probation 3 days ago. Obviously he has conditions, which I am aware of 2 hes not following (using substances, and not living at the address he gave them). I saw him last night and knew he was high, but he was in control. I saw him tonight as well and things were going fine (we were in public because hes not allowed at my house if hes using)...until they weren't. I literally watched him go from his normal high self, to psychosis. I'll spare the details, but essentially I think he tried to car-jack me while pretending to be a different person (he suddently adopted a really thick British accent, complete with British slang, calling me "the driver" and himself "the Boss"). Which is insane even for him. Hes never ever done something remotely close to that.

In the end it was a low-effort attempt and he wasn't violent. I actually thought it was a joke until he reached for my keys, which he obviously didn't get.

But he's camping near a highly populated area with a lot of parking/people. And I know from experience with him that Day 3-4 is the day he starts his psychosis when hes using....although historically it hasn't been so prominent this early. Do i reach out to the court in the morning to report him not following probation and his current state of mind? Or do I let him ride this out, do whatever he's gonna do, and likely miss his next court date in a week, if he doesnt get picked up for psychotic behavior beforehand?