This is so embarrassing but I’m not sure if it’s menopause related or if I need to see someone. I have wet the bed twice in the last two weeks? The 1st time I took cough mixture so I thought it was related to that but last night I hadn’t taken any medication. This has happened on 2/3 other occasions but in the last 18 months so seemed so far spaced out.

What can I expect? Any tests they'll do? What was your experience when visiting the ER?

I can't stop bleeding excessively heavily for several weeks now. Daily crime scenes. The fatigue is beyond debilitating and I can barely leave the house. Going to ER in the morning. My doctor told me last week it is not advisable to take common meds prescribed to stop bleeding or birth control due to other health issues I have, so I'm wondering what they can even do at the ER. That was my original plan to go on the pill. She said to go to ER if bleeding won't stop after another week or so which it has not. She also mentioned possible surgeries but to wait a little longer before deciding.

I wrote this a response to someone else’s post. I feel so resentful that I was uniformed about perimenopause. If it’s normal, not even threatening to men, why is it shrouded in secrecy or deliberately ignored?

I feel like I’m going to hate myself if I call myself a crone! It sounds like a witch to me. 😭😭😭

I’m already struggling so much with all the symptoms and being blindsided by them. I wish there was a kinder approach towards menopause, more like puberty being a positive thing. I feel like menopause is so stigmatized & everything about it is silenced. There are no words I want to use to talk about it - like “the change of life” or “crone” or even menopause!

Maybe I’m being stubborn or in denial, but I feel more like myself than ever, besides the medical aspects. I don’t feel like adjusting to or defying labels or expectations, especially stigmas. I don’t want words that center around how sexy or unsexy I am. I just want to be myself for once, not fighting against a bad female image, as usual.

I never used to have much body odor & rarely wore deodorant. I wasn’t able to sweat much for some reason.

Lately my sweat smells terrible when I have hot flashes. I am horrified.

I randomly came across info about how menopause changes your body odor. Then I saw an article about “old-people smell” caused by “nonenals” in sweat, requiring a special persimmon soap to remove it. WHAT? I never noticed my grandmothers smelling badly. I remember them smelling really good!!

I’m freaking out because of all these shocking changes I knew nothing about. Was I also not told that I am going to stink from “nonenals” & need a special old-people soap? I’m exhausted.

These days I don’t get too many good days. Today was one of them. I decided to save my money on all the latest skincare gadgets or expensive products. I took my first Tango lesson. I have always wanted to learn how. So today I did it and it felt great. Just thought I would put it out there to my fellow ladies on Reddit.

Also, am I the only one who takes perverse pleasure in plucking those spiky chin hairs that I seem to get pretty regularly now? You know the ones that are super short and hard to grab and hurt a little as you get them, but once you pull them out they are like 5 inches long somehow?

Okay, buckle up because this is a longer one.

Tl;dr—I literally threw the sucker in my mouth down a hallway today because human beings suck so much and the rage overwhelmed me. Toddlers are wiser than we give them credit for.

Things you should know:

1.) I’m using suckers and nicotine pouches to quit smoking. I smoke about 4 a day, normally. (Cigarettes, not packs. It’s 2024, not 1950. Also, nuerospicy, late diagnosis, hand to mouth self soothing stim. Yes my doctors know about the smoking.)

2.) floral designer, own the shop, rural area, only certified designer on staff, previous full timer took a new job a week and a half ago.

3.) it’s Mother’s Day week. I’m a mom. My kid is 12. I haven’t seen them on Mother’s day for 7. Fucking. Years. Because I’m making sure asshole men who don’t plan ahead have flowers for the mother’s in THEIR lives.

Asshole customers are the worst, and we got a complaint today from a customer who PICKED THEIR ITEM UP IN SHOP, EXAMINED IT, SAID IT WAS PERFECT, TOOK IT HOME WITH THEM AND THEN CALLED MY SHOP TO SAY THEY HAD NOTICED A BIT OF BRUISING ON ONE Of THE BLUSH PRAY ROSES AND WAS RUDE TO NOT ONE BUT FUCKING TWO OF MY STAFF MEMBERS BOTH OF WHOM ARE FUCKING MOTHERS!!!!!!!!!!

I handled the situation, without letting the customer know I thought they were an entitled douchebag because that’s my job. But first I threw the sucker in my mouth down my back hallway (I warned the staff and made sure the hall was clear before I did it). And it was incredibly cathartic.

Toddlers are onto something with those tantrums. 😂

Thank you to this board for making me not feel so effin alone on this journey. Ive learned SO much from y'all but recently added creatine to the supplement stack bc of all the raves here and OMG. After menopause I just could never get back into lifting weights the way I used to (was a total gym rat) bc I didn't have the strength I used to and workouts felt futile.

But four days on 5mg creatine daily and I feel like my workouts are actually productive again. I feel strong again. I feel like myself again. This is definitely a game changer. I am determined to lose my menopause belly. Menopause has already taken so much from me and I'm determined to have some agency over this. Thank you to this board so much.

Also, might be in my head or bc my workouts are so much better, but I feel happier. I'm no longer full blown depressed like I was a year ago but it lingers sometimes and I have a tendency to let things bring me down easily but since creatine, I'm finding myself a bit more resilient.

Other things I'm doing before adding creatine just for full background:

• HRT (helped me with hot flashes and some with anxiety/mood)

-magnesium glycinate (helps me stay asleep)

-l-theanine( helps me with anxiety/mood)

-daily multivitamin, vitamin D, fish oil (have always taken)

• calcium (have no clue if this is helping my bones or not)

-joint supplement (to help with all the crackle lackle in my wrists and joints... Jury's still out on this one)

TLDR- 4 days into creatine and workouts are significantly improved which was like the last lingering thing that still felt off and I feel like myself overall thanks to to this board ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️ Creatine is my game changer.

Looking for some advice. Last fall I started having issues with insomnia (falling asleep and staying asleep). I’ve had trouble falling asleep in the past but have never had issues staying asleep. This coincided with cycle irregularity (didn’t have a period for 3 months) so I figured it was peri related (I am 52). My doctor agreed that it could be related so she gave me a trazadone script and a progesterone script. Trazadone did not work at all and didn’t feel much benefit from the progesterone so she gave me a script for ambien and increased Progesterone to 200mg. The progesterone made me spot for a month straight and I still wasn’t sleeping well so she reduced me back down to 100 mg (much better) and gave me a script for Buspirone. It’s been almost a month and a half and my sleep is still no better! I go to bed around 9 usually sleep ok until 11:30-12 and the it’s a constant cycle of waking up. I use the slumber app and that helps me get back to sleep but by around 3:30 it becomes really hard to fall back asleep. I was having some mild hot flashes before the progesterone but those have mostly disappeared and I’m not feeling overly anxious when I wake up. Based on my sleep app on Apple Watch I am averaging about 5 hrs 45 min of sleep a night with some nights much worse. I also take magnesium glycinate, melatonin and Ashwaganda every evening. Hoping for some tips and tricks to actually stay asleep. I would be in heaven if I could get 7 solid hours. Unfortunately can’t do any cannabis or THC due to my security clearance.

I’m 43 y/o and have had perimenopause symptoms for the last 4 years. I still have regular menstrual cycles and high estrogen some days, but not often.

I was prescribed and currently taking bioidentical progesterone 50-100mg daily and low dose testosterone cream 1.5mg daily for about 1.5 years now. Since my natural estrogen and progesterone constantly fluctuate by the day, is there anything that can be taken on low estrogen days to counteract the low/depressive mood symptoms?

I would love to try a low dose estradiol patch but was told I’m not a candidate for estradiol therapy since I still have a uterus and regular cycles.

Was just wondering if this was the case for other women that still have a menstrual cycle or were you still prescribed estradiol therapy anyway along with progesterone?

Any insight or things that have helped you would be greatly appreciated!

Ok, jokey title, but it does annoy me that menopause is kind of a misnomer, and creates all kinds of confusion and misunderstanding, at least for me.

My ENTIRE life I assumed that menopause was what happened after your periods fully stopped. Then the crap happens - mood swings, hot flashes, etc etc. Nobody told me about peri-menopause. My 40's were full of me being extremely forgetful, emotionally up and down, my work suffered, my relationships suffered. But I've always been a bit moody and forgetful (ty undiagnosed female ADHD), and the 40's can be tough anyway, plus I didn't have hot flashes, and still menstruating. So I just thought "hmm, this is a tough time right now, whatcha gonna do?🤷‍♀️". In retrospect, knowing what I know now, I WAS IN PERI-MENOPAUSE! Which is frankly what we all think menopause is! Gah.

So ok, I found out about peri. Now waiting for proper "official" "menopause. Fine. My periods stopped for about 10 months at 50, then I had one more, then I went the the full year by 52. Ok, cool! I'm now in menopause! And wow, I kind of feel better? Weird.

Then I find out - no, I'm not in "menopause", I'm "post-menopausal"!! Because post-menopause happens RIGHT AFTER youe periods have stopped for this (random number) 12 months!

But just before this happened, I was "peri-menopausal". So wtf, is "menopause" the nano-second before and after you stop your period? 🤣🤣

Menopause - the most useless "scientific" term ever. I find this largely funny, but it also pisses me off that I spent almost a decade not realizing that I was in FACT going through the classic "menopausal" symptoms that I was expecting would happen AFTER my period stopped.

To end on a good note - for me (I recognize that this isn't true for everyone!) post-menopause - that thing that happens RIGHT after you are "technically" in official menopause is much much better. Also, I'm warning all my early 40-something co-workers that the shit they are feeling IS FKN MENOPAUSE as they've been led to understand it! Despite the fact that you still bleed every month!

Sigh. This should be flaired "vent" lol.

"Post-menopause refers to the stage after the menopause, and marks the end of the reproductive stage of your life.

Post-menopause officially begins 12 months after your final period (the menopause)".

Like wtf lol?

Started HRT in January. By February I was having issues with what I thought was a rash around my eyes and on my neck. Figured out it's yeast going nuts. I have been able to keep it controlled but every time I get it cleared up it comes back within a week. Had my follow up and my doctor said it my be caused by progesterone. So what does she do? Ups my dosage!!!! I asked for an oral antifungal in hope that will kick it out, but if that doesn't work she wants to switch me to Duavee. Ugh, why can't I be normal?!!! At least I am not getting vaginal yeast infections so that's a plus .. Right? Anyone else ever have this problem?

I just got my new health insurance paperwork only to discover it's from another state and there are next to no in-network doctors at all in My area. No OB/GYN in my state at all. And I've been waiting over a year for this insurance. So I may not be able to see any of my docs about meno, but I'm in dire shape with the atrophic vaginitis. Any suggestions?

I’m in perimenopause I have been having issues with Vaginal Discharge with odor since last week. Discharge is heavier than I usually have I have consulted by gynaecologists who gave me antibiotics for a week but called for vaginal ultrasound after a week. So The thing is I have extreme health anxiety and doctors freak me out soo much. I have been researching alot about this and the results online are too scary. Does anyone have any normal stories regarding vaginal discharge with smell?!! I’d love any ladies support and comforting words

I feel like I'm experiencing something hormonal for the last few days, and I noticed my skin looks flushed around my whole body. My face is flushed, and my body is slightly pinker than usual. Is this normal for hormone fluctuations?

I look in the mirror and feel like WTF happened to me over the past 4 years since being in full meno??? Despite eating well, excessing daily and even started some lifting and Intermittent fasting as recommended, I am just getting fatter and my belly is huge.I haven't slept in 4 years and I look tired, dark circles around my eyes and my skin is a big mess with hormonal acne. I even have jowls now too LOL. I feel so disgusting that I have no desire to go out anywhere or be seen. Finding an outfit that fits or hides the bulges takes forever...even putting on makeup is so strategic now to cover this or that. I just want to stay in my house in my elastic waist sweatpants and die alone with my cats. Ok...yes I am totally being dramatic here LOL, but I can't stop crying....I feel so defeated by this. Just needed a good rant, sorry .

Not sure if I comment on this before, but has anyone had TMJ worsen with progesterone? I’m pretty sure the progesterone is giving me a flare. We adjusted my HRT and I’m finally sleeping much better but I’ve had a tension headache and jaw ache for most of the week.

I should add: I am aware of ALL the TMJ therapies etc. I’ve been dealing with it since college, have a grind guard, know the physical therapy drill, have been taking Advil. Yesterday I got acupuncture which helped for a few hours but it’s back. I haven’t had a bad TMJ flare in years. Probably the last time was in 2019 when I was selling my house and moving cross country while dealing with my late mother’s elderly special needs dog. While work had been a bit stressful, this past week was actually much less stress than the past few weeks (got more sleep and work projects calmed down). So the only variable feels like the progesterone: the doctor changed my dose right when all of this started.

I just got my patches and was wondering where the best place to put it was. For those that use it please give your thoughts. Thanks.

I'm 45 (F) and have recently experienced weight gain around my middle that doesn't at all reflect diet or exercise. I read somewhere that low estrogen causes weight gain in that area as the body attempts to compensate for lower estrogen using stored fat, but everywhere else online it says that high estrogen and low progesterone causes weight gain, with only an occasional mention that it can be caused by low estrogen.

Similarly with hot flashes, some sources say it's caused by low estrogen while others blame it on low progesterone. And in general the symptom lists of both seem to basically be the same. WTF?!? Why such a woeful lack of accurate information? Is it really just that either can cause any symptom depending on the person? That seems ridiculous to me.

I get that it's about the ratio of one to the other, and that managing perimenopause is about managing symptoms because things are still changing, but the only way to effectively address the symptoms in my view is to adjust the hormones. But how are we supposed to do that when there's no way to tell what hormones cause what symptoms? Aaargh!

Can anyone actually shed some light on this? Thank you!

Just venting:

I was so sure I was over with everything, no bleeding since September 2023. And I was happy! Today...spotting!

I tried to be calm and collected, telling myself it is just a matter of time- but I really feel betrayed by my body somehow. Now I can start counting the months again.

While writing this I recognize I was happy with identifying myself as being over all this. Yeah, it is not a drama but it ruined my day.

The hot flashes, sore joints, moodiness, sleepless nights, and my brain phase shifting out of existence aside, I am grateful for the emotional and societal changes churning away.

It's nice to leave the Women Wars we were all thrust into as soon as our breasts started budding and crushes snatched away our senses. Because the average man can't tell the difference between kindness and flirting, here we were thrust into this strange gendered struggle. Being even a semi-attractive woman is a strange power to navigate through life.

My hair is falling out. My belly is squishy. I can't be bothered to put on make up. I'm 30 pounds heavier than I used to be. No one is going to worry if their husband has to work late with me. No one is giving me the side eye for making small talk while waiting on line. I can be kind or sassy or friendly and it is all taken without subtext. I really love that.

A took a whole box of fucks and only kept the few worth having. Chucked the rest right out the window. It feels so damn good. I don't care if people don't like my purple sequin shoes. I am going to dress how I want and say what I want and be who I want.

Mothering was an amazing experience that I am really glad I had. I'm also glad to have my life back. I don't really know what to do with it yet. But, it's now years, instead of minutes, I can focus on my own interests. I am looking forward to finally getting to know myself.

These new stealth powers are awesome! I pushed a cart of groceries out of the store without paying the other day just to see if anyone would say anything. No one even glanced my way. I felt bad so I went in and paid for them but I can at least daydream about being a new supervillain.

I have had anxiety for over a decade, but since menopause it’s turned into relentless fear and dread. I have to sleep with my lights on and other fear reducing things. Is this common/normal? I never experienced this before. It’s honestly ruining my quality of life.

Had a date night…couple of drinks and a late dessert. Here’s how I slept…

My elementary school hosted a one time information session which explained menstruation. Only the 5th grade girls and their parents were invited to this thing and it took place at the school on a weeknight.

As 11yo me sat there listening to what would eventually happen to my body I was fucking horrified. Devastated. Beyond devastated.

When the session ended one of presenters asked if there were any questions. I had one. And I eagerly raised my hand to ask it, ooo, ooo-ing at the presenter.

“So what happens to boys?” I asked in earnest.

The presenter looked at me, puzzled, then offered, “Nothing.” I was devastated. Beyond devastated. What do you mean nothing happens to boys in this respect? What do you mean only girls are cursed like this? How is that FAIR???

Of course all of the asshole boys were talking about it the next day at school, about the secret information session that only the girls got invited to.

My little brother, poor bastard, asked me that day after school, “So what happens to boys then?” He asked me sincerely, as his only and older sibling. And I replied, “Butt stuff.” His eyes widened and a look of concern shadowed his freckled little face. “You bleed out of your butts.” This rumor took over the entire school for several days and for several days most of the boys faced that same horror I was facing (but not even as bad!). Some jerk teacher put the rumor to rest and again, it was only the girls staring down the inevitable misery.

I could only pray it wouldn’t happen to me until I was 17. Sadly, one year later a few days after my 12th birthday I awoke to terrible pains in my stomach. I rushed to the bathroom only to find my little white undies with the little pink strawberries all over them full of blood. I cried on the bathroom floor.

And it was all downhill from there.

Until recently where I again faced the curse known as not having a dick, only this time it wouldn’t destroy 1/3 of my life. It would destroy 24/7/365.

Again I thought, “So what happens to men?”

I laughed to myself because they DO get butt stuff, enlarged prostates that cause them some degree of misery. Just not until they’re old.

And again I felt that uncontrollable anger over not being born male reach an unbearable point. It isn’t fair, what happens to us. And although nothing in this life is fair this feels particularly so.

And I’m angry about it.

I always have been.

But it’s so much more now.

And I never once spoke about it, not really, not with other girls/women. And I wondered if it was just me. And then I joined this sub and I thought, it’s probably not just me.

Peri symptoms fell on me like a ton of bricks a couple years ago, including many of the greatest hits- fatigue (I had no idea it was even possible to feel this tired), brain fog/memory issues, body pain, tinnitus, insomnia, mood/anxiety issues, and intense anger. I was also diagnosed with a painful and chronic medical issue at the same time.

I approached my boss about needing a little time to get my newly diagnosed medical issue under control, but I didn't mention anything about peri. She immediately started demanding more from me, belittling me in front of my staff, and treating me like garbage. She also promoted someone who had no experience or skills in what our team did to a position above me, seemingly just because he was a man, and specifically told me I was still expected to supervise the team staff, since the guy she had just promoted and given a huge raise to didn't have the knowledge or skills to do so. I felt miserable and filled with rage.

All the physical symptoms, along with my boss treating me so poorly and promoting the unqualified guy, felt like more than I could handle. I decided to take a job that was similar but had fewer demands and responsibilities, but also involved a significant pay cut. My rationale was that my physical and mental health were worth it. I've been at the new job for a few months now, and I hate it so much, even though it is less demanding, that I cry almost every day and feel like I've made one of the top three mistakes of my life.

Does anyone have any anecdotes about professionally "downgrading" after peri hit and it being the right choice? I'd love to hear that it worked out for anyone out there. Please tell me there's hope it might get better and I didn't "downgrade" for nothing.

Thank you, and best wishes to you all as you navigate this horrible, no good, very bad phase of life.

Hello, I joined this sub mainly to keep myself informed since I will also go through the battle myself eventually but I wanted to share a hack my mom used when she was going through the worst hot flashes.

She got bunch of cooling dog mats (those that you don't have to put in a fridge), put them on her sofa and bed and covered them with a thin sheet. It cools really nicely and it's not very expensive :). I hope this will help a bit.

I have been suffering with ridiculous symptoms from menopause. This sub helped me tremendously with hot flashes and night sweats by suggesting the BedJet (which should be covered by insurance). Now I want to give back.

A friend of mine told me about the supplement Methylene Blue. She said it would help with my menopause fog brain and concentration issues. She suggested I read the book, “The Ultimate Guide to Methylene Blue” and then decide if it would work for me.

I got halfway through the book and decided I wanted to try it. I’ve been taking 20 drops in 8 oz of pineapple juice, every morning for three weeks now, and I cannot believe how quickly this worked.

I used to either trail off while speaking or stop abruptly because my menopause brain would turn into a vast wasteland in a nanosecond. I would be embarrassed and frustrated because I knew what I wanted to say or what I was thinking, but the hazy fog would roll in and obscure it.

My work was suffering because my brain was so sluggish that it was taking me twice as long to do even the simplest of tasks, never mind come up with solutions for problems. Everyday business correspondence became an albatross around my neck.

I haven’t had any issues since I started taking the Methylene Blue. Even if I don’t get enough sleep, I’m still sharp and have zero issues concentrating. I feel like my pre-menopause self.

Of note, your urine will be blue or bluish. If that is a concern for you, then this is not for you.

I purchased both the book and the supplement off Amazon. I actually ended up buying quite a few bottles because I want a cushion in case there’s supply chain issues with it as there are with so many other products these days. I do not want to return to having menopause fog brain.

Please note: I am not a medical doctor and am not giving medical advice. I am just giving anecdotal information on how Methylene Blue has worked for me. Neither I nor my family profit in any way, shape, or form from sales of the book nor the supplement.

EDIT: I almost forgot, if you use this, drink it with a straw and make very certain the straw is well behind your teeth, otherwise you will temporarily stain your teeth blue. Blue teeth are cute on children, not so much on professional adult women.

I'm getting desperate regarding the lack of sleep caused by muscle and joint pain in my legs.

I've been HRT for 9 months now. Started in 50mg patches and 200mg of progesterone for 12 days per month. The first week I started was the best week I've ever had. My thighs and back reverted to a low ache that was tolerable and didn't effect my sleep too badly. But as soon as the 12 days of progesterone ended, the crippling tightness came back. I didn't mind too much, I thought with my next cycle of progesterone it would calm down again, but it never did.

I'm now on 75mg and 100mg daily but still no joy. I want to go to 100mg but my doctor says no. They say I have arthritis and I'm on an 8 month waiting list for a specialist for that. But I still can't sleep.

I go to a physio and do all the exercises given, they also insist it's the arthritis. I have a dog so I walk plenty, although I now have to keep stopping due to pain.

Things I've tried: massage therapy, a chiropractor, this is my 3rd physio, my GP, fish oil, magnesium capsules and cream, codeine (did nothing, not even a dent), vitamin D, reduced gluten and sugar in diet, increased protein. Exercise with weights.

So hit me with your suggestions!

Just curious if anyone has worked with these companies and if they would recommend them to a newbie in peri.

So anyone else have their music tastes change dramatically? I'm listening to old playlists like im listening to playlists for someone else.

.. with depleted energy. I barely get through a full 40 (sometimes 45-50) hour work week, then when the weekend hits, I'm like a shell of myself. I sleep in until 10, sometimes 11am.. can barely eat then lay down again until 4 or 5pm and waste the day. This isn't like me. I used to be up at 6am to go for a run but in the last year, I've felt like a slug, gained 35 lbs and feel absolutely worthless. On a recommendation I bought these Fungies gummies to help with energy which worked for a few days but again, back to feeling depleted. I see a hormone gyno next week and pray that the low cortisol can be righted, I can get my energy back and regain my life.

Anyone else? Anything that helps with energy?