So obviously I'm not trying to compromise my job. But the store I'm currently at is pretty lenient. But I'm also not trying to offend anyone. I'm not great at this, I genuinely avoid it. I've spent going on 6 years alone after being in a long relationship.

But I'm trying to move forward with people in genuinely interested in and no one else. But honestly, I tend to meet them at work because I'm only at work and idk what to say without being offensive or overbearing.

I saw a girl with pink hair the other day that I thought was stunning and I told her I liked her hair. I figured it's a start. Apparently she comes in often and I didn't know because I'm never in the drive thru window, one of my crew members is gonna keep an eye out for me. What do I say next 😂.

I am sure there are so many posts just like this one. I am 29F and I am turning 30 in 6 months... I am still single and I have been single for almost three years at this point. My prior relationship ended up really hurting me and I honestly was never able to really imagine myself dating someone for a while. I decided to try and put myself out there more on dating apps, going to a new gym, joining a pickleball league, etc. I have been out with 12 different guys over the past six months and nothing has materialized with anyone. I did not feel a spark with a single one of them & I went on a fair amount of 2nd and 3rd dates to give them a chance.

All my friends who were single have recently met someone. I mean like 3 of my best friends met someone last fall. I feel so hopeless and left out. I spent a lot of time working on myself after my breakup & I didn’t think it would be this hard once I accomplished those goals. It seems like things are finally working out for those around me, except for me.

Is/was anyone else in a situation like this and have some words of encouragement or advice?

So I (25f) was seeing this guy (25m) for about a month. We were going on dates once a week until we reached the sleepover stage. I thought he was gonna become my bf by the way we were moving. The first time things were cool we didn’t have sex cos he had man issues or nerves idc. the second time he clearly wanted sex but we didn’t do it cos of my girl issues. This was when he started acting weird (not texting me, no effort whatsoever) and I was gonna happily cut him off cos atleast he didn’t hit so instead he said he was dealing with stuff right? So we sorted it and kept texting each other. the whole time he’s telling me he likes my personality, Im pretty etc. we finally meet again after awhile for another sleepover we both kinda knew what was gonna happen…. And it did actually happen. I just need to add this guy lasted 1 sec each round we went (I’m not exaggerating) Anyways I was so nice about it cos I actually liked him and idc about performance I think people can learn to be good. Guess what he does a week after that??? I start noticing a change in his behaviour e.g slow texts etc? He then tells me he doesn’t see things going long term between us??? Im like huh? I was so shocked bc his actions and words were telling me sth else. So now I feel used and played cos wtf he denied it but honestly I cant help but think that was the case and now I regret sleeping with him cos he made me believe he liked me…. And I feel shit

I 31 female recently started dating this 28 male. We have great chemistry. He’s sweet, handsome, hardworking, and pretty much everything I’m looking for in a man right…. I recently noticed his teeth in the front are slightly discolored like it’s the early staging of decaying. It’s very unnoticeable from the naked eye you can’t see it because his lips cover the top of the teeth. I noticed when we were laying in bed and I was looking up and seen. I did notice his breath is slightly strong but not disgustingly stinky but I figured since It was morning breath it wasn’t something to worry until I seen the discoloration. I want to ask him to look at his teeth but I’m afraid he will get insecure and embarrassed. If anything I want to help him address it. We’ve talked about what kind of health insurance we have thru our jobs and I know he has insurance so he can get some dental work done I’m sure there will be a cost but still. I’m not extremely vain but I care about my appearance and my health. I go to the dentist regularly and I’m just not sure how to mention to him that I have an issue with personal upkeep on hygiene. Don’t get me wrong he is a well kept man he mentioned as a kid growing up his family didn’t have money and he’s worked for everything he has but I need to approach the teeth issue. How should I tell him?

Title.

I (28M) am in my final year of law school and am finding it difficult to date right now.

This year I’m managing both school and work where I work in immigration which is super volatile in my country right now (my placement in immigration is just until the end of the school term and then I’m going to be shifting to tax law hopefully).

Anyway because of this, it’s hard going out to meet people and almost everyone I’m interested in at school is taken. So all I have is Hinge.

So I’m curious for those in similar situations, how do y’all date? Where do you meet people? How do you make time?

Hello, I’m 23M if that helps. I haven’t had a crush ever since high school, everyone just doesn’t interest me. Recently I’ve been attracted to this model online. No interactions, I’ve just been admiring her posts. I’m starting to like her more and more.

I know this is very parasocial and ridiculous, but I still have this feeling. I’m not going to pursue since we don’t even live in the same country. Also I haven’t been actively trying to date IRL due to personal problems that I’ve been dealing with. I’m just wondering how do I get over this feeling. I’m feeling like a major loser for liking a cosplayer I don’t have a chance with.

So me F25 and M28 had sex recently after three weeks of seeing each other and his whole attitude changed. He rarely texts me now and he used to always give effort and text me all day long. Like today I’ve gotten two texts the entire day and very dry. Honestly, it sucks and it makes me feel bad. Dating nowadays is so hard you don’t know anyone’s true intentions and it just ends up making me feel like shit. Lol

I hate dating. I found myself played for a fool by a woman I really like, I was crashing out for about a month after it had happened, and I couldn't understand why she didn't find me attractive. We had sex twice, and could talk for hours, but after the first two dates she just wasn't into it all.

I think after experiences like this, I always regret not trusting my gut. Multiple times in the past year, which is the year I've been able to date the most due to some pretty good glow ups, Ive thought that the women I was dating were better than they were, but all my anxieties and worries turn out to be true.

I don't know how one can date. I look back at these situations and wish I treated these women worse, because I opened myself up only to get shit on. Part of me thinks if I chased sexual encounters and hit and quit scenarios rather than romance, I would get substantially more happy, knowing all that I do in retrospect.

I'm not happy, this experience gave me time to reflect, I think it's a good idea to take a break from dating, but I can't help but have my opinion of women in a romantic sense and dating as a whole altered in some way.

I hate being compelled to date, because it never really makes me happy. I find someone I really like and find out they are a piece of shit afterwards, or that they are unwilling to date me because I'm assuming I lack a physical characteristic they require (legitimately certain that this last woman rejected me in the end cause I'm 5'9, due to reasons).

The worst part about a rejection is being told lies about why it happens. Just say you aren't attracted to me. Don't try to spin a story about how you're thinking of going for women exclusively (you're not, I saw you on hinge a week ago), or that you're gonna be too busy in the future, or some other bullshit, I would rather hear you're not attracted to me.

On top of this, a thing that makes me jaded is the idea that I've only been able to date these women cause my face finally matured and my body is chiseling out. I'll go for women I'm not physically attracted to because I like their vibe, but I'll forever hold some sort of resentment against women that take me now because they wouldn't have taken me when I was physically worse off. People are so shallow and pathetic.

I'm not a complete asshole, I had a few experiences with some great women, it's better they are over, but there were some where there were legitimately valuable lessons to learn, and I wish them the best, but there were a few particular people that just soured the whole bunch for me, naturally, due to human nature, those are the ones I remember.

26F was briefly dating a guy and within time I realized we weren’t compatible and tried politely having that conversation with him. Maybe it would lead to a breakup, maybe it would lead to us working on the relationship and just having a tough conversation. In response he freaked out as if he was an emotional high schooler, started insulting me and trying to make me feel bad and guilty for God knows what. Then never heard from him again. There was no reason for things to end in the manner that they did.

Men, if you do that (the slew of random insults then go ghost), why? Do you want me to do some self-reflecting so I’ll come running back to you feeling all bad and guilty? It feels like a tactic. Women feel free to share your thoughts too

EDIT: he was 33 so wild behavior from someone older than me

My old fwb and I would see each other almost weekly for about 7 months. Started out a little relationship like but nothing was communicated so nothing happened and we just kept it casual. It ended kinda bad and both sides are to blame, for different reasons. Fast forward it’s been since the end of October so about 4 months since we talked and saw each other in person and he unadded me on snap. I go to the bar with my friends and it’s a small bar which I know he goes to as well but I never go out anymore so I just was thinking maybe he wouldn’t this one time.

Well he was there and we ended up directly next to each other while I was standing and he was sitting at the bar. I had lost over 30 pounds since I had seen him last and he didn’t turn around and look at my body but turned and just looked in my eyes for quite a while until I broke eye contact. He’s always been big on slow kisses and eye contact and what not so when this happened all the memories with him have been replaying for the past 2 days and I can’t get past it.

and before you comment, yes feelings were mentioned at one point on my end i ended it shortly after that anyway

My friend noticed he had been looking at me and pointing while talking to his friends the rest of the night so we decided to leave since i got all in my head. I was drunk and thinking too much about it.

How can I get past this or get back into it? I’ve tried going on dates, texting others, hooking up with others and I always think about him. And this made me take 1000 steps back.

Am I overthinking

The guy im currently seeing ran into his ex with me and they didn’t stop to say hi but he told me they stared each other down. I noticed he kept laughing and staring at his phone so i asked and he said oh such and such said something funny. He kept having like nostalgia i guess through out the evening. I felt kind of stupid kind of bad actually. Like wth am i there for? His head seemed to be elsewhere. We get home and i can tell hes still smiling and idk if they kept talking but i assumed so since he had told me she had texted him something funny. I went to bed and i was waiting for him and he was texting someone idk if it was her in the home office room. I felt awful. My chest hurt. I should mention ive been seeing him for 3 months now talked for about 4ish and he still hasnt asked me to be his girlfriend. I should mention shes married now. The ex but him giggling away in front of me made me feel some type of way. Am i over reacting here?

I’m 32 years old and have never had a girlfriend. I can approach girls and start a conversation. Can make small talk without any issues..

I’ve not been on many dates.. Mainly because of my Muslim upbringing and how you must wait until marriage before you get intimate etc.

I can still ask out Muslim girls who are a little more modern and open to dating. I’m a little worried that I’m quite boring. I’ve been on 2 dates my entire life because I only started pursuing women for dates like a year ago as I started to take it more seriously.

I was rejected after both dates with long paragraphs about how they think I’m great but just not compatible. Met both on dating apps.

Most women I tend to like are quite successful and accomplished in terms of job roles etc.

I work in Sales and make like 22-24K a year after Tax, have no side hustle and no hobbies.

I go away on Holidays once a year which I suppose is somewhat enthralling but outside of that I just watch movies, sports and thats it.

I’m worried there’s not much excitement in my life and I can’t offer women much.

What tips or advice can you give me?

Curious for those who started dating again after a fresh breakup, liked the person they were dating, realized they weren’t ready to date, and broke up. After you found yourself ready to date again, did you have any desire to date that previous person again? Just curious if anyone has any stories around that.

So me F25 and M26 had sex yesterday for the first time and I thought it was good sex and everything like that. Well, afterwards we were laying there and he said oh if at one point you’re not feeling it (like the connection with him) don’t be shy to tell me and I thought that was kind of weird to bring up idk? I then went home and he texted me saying to text him when I get home. I did and I said “I’m home, just changed into some comfy clothes.” And he didn’t reply until this morning saying “good morning and aye nice” which I feel is very dry especially for him and his usual texting style. It’s been a few hours and no response which is also not his usual self. I’m now overthinking if he’s still into me or not lol.

So I don’t have an Instagram account, or any social media actually. I never really had any. I have a LinkedIn lol - if that counts.

Obviously this is unusual for someone in their 20s. But at this point if I create an Instagram, I’m not sure that would look much better, because I’d have hardly any followers (initially) and hardly any posts.

For context, I’m an average guy as far as looks, work, friends, family. So it’s not that I couldn’t have a normal-ish Instagram.

What do you guys think?

How would you take this response?

I met a girl at a gig earlier last week. She caught my eye, she said I caught hers. She actually came up to me and asked if I had a GF and if not could she get my number.

We went out Saturday night. Date went well, went for over 3 hours. The next day I messaged around noon said thanks for coming out again, I enjoyed it (I mentioned at the end of the date be cool to do something again)

She replied with No worries, I had a nice time 😊 Then asked how my day was getting on. After that though the convo from her end didn’t really flow she didn’t ask any questions.

How would you take her response about the date? I’m going to wait a couple of days to ask about catching up but would be interested to hear people’s thoughts on her response

I’ve been seeing someone for a short time. We’ve both been hurt by avoidant exs. She’s pulled away a couple of times. I’m trying to understand if it’s a red flag or if it’s to be expected. It’s only been a few weeks. I think the connection has taken her by surprise and freaks her out a bit. I think it makes sense because she was really fucking hurt by an avoidant ex and she didn’t even know that’s what it was but when she told me about it it was obvious to me. She got discarded. I’d never do that to someone. I have secure attachment. But my avoidant ex triggered anxiety in me: I actually ended that relationship because it wasn’t right before I was discarded. But before I ended it I tried to communicate my feelings and needed and they weren’t met. So I don’t just abandon people. Anyway, the first time she pulled back she told me what was going on and I appreciated that she communicated and then we were all good. I’m sensing it’s happening again. She hasn’t communicated to me. It’s triggering me. I’m considering her perspective and it makes sense that she’d be scared of being hurt again. I’m scared of ended up with an avoidant again too. I don’t think she is avoidant. Is it normal for non-avoidant to be scared and pull back when starting something new? Do you think it could be anxious attachment from someone who’s been hurt showing up? How does someone who’s anxious and has some abandonment trauma from an avoidant show up in early dating? I think I can handle an anxious person but not an avoidant.

I hooked up with this really hot guy today and I cannot get him out of my brain. I have a lot of casual sex but this man was out of this world. He was like my perfect 10/10. He was handsome, tall and fit. He was smart, articulate and nice. He was such a sweetheart during the interaction and it was some of the best and passionate sex I had in my life. He is educated and funny. And best of all he has kind eyes. We had a lot of things in common and our conversation flowed so well. We are also very sexually compatible. I am hoping to see him soon. I think I got dicked down too good. I have never started to fall for someone so quickly. How do I stop this? We agreed we would keep things casual before meeting since neither of us are in the place to be involved in anything seriously.

so this happened literally 6 months ago but I still can't stop thinking about it and it has definitely affected my self esteem. I met a guy on an app and we went on three dates, including intimacy on all 3. it was casual on both sides, but generally fun. he ended up ghosting me, fine whatever.

once (pre-ghosting) I sent him a selfie and he said I "don't really look like that" and that I "don't really look like a lot of my pictures". this was pretty devastating to hear because as a plus size woman, I'm ALWAYS scared of accidently cat fishing someone, I would never want to portray myself inaccurately. I have a range of pics on my profile (none are selfies) all from the past 8 months, including a full body VIDEO. I'll be honest with you guys, I photograph well. I'm photogenic and have a lot of practice (have even professionally modeled years ago) and I probably am a little less attractive in person. I never use filters or editing though, and I don't only have "flattering angles" on my profile.

I've also asked several friends to review my profile and specifically asked to make sure it looks like how I look irl (since I know it can be difficult to asses ourselves accurately) and they have agreed that it looks like me.

are my friends just being nice? was he being crazy? is he just mad that I photograph well? I cannot figure out why he said that or why it is still giving me anxiety, I don't take selfies anymore and definitely don't send them to any guys I'm dating, even though that was a classic flirty move for me for years.

if you’re open and looking to date someone, where do you go or what do you do to facilitate that?

as for me (34m), i feel like i’ve done a bulk of the things you’re “supposed to do”: found a good therapist, eating decently and exercising regularly, figured out things that bring me joy and making hobbies out of them, found a small but regular friend group, generally taking time to focus on me as an individual, all the classic hits.

when it comes to approaching people, that’s not too huge an issue for me, either. i’ve been told by my non-male friends that i do well at exuding “i’m not a creep” energy, and have no problem congenially keeping it moving in the face of rejection.

my particular issue is that i’ll cold introduce myself to someone, we get a nice rapport going, and things are good until they reveal to me that they are the most in a relationship person in the room. for example, the last lady i talked to at a show kept buying me drinks, inviting me out for cigarettes, even grabbing my hand and pulling me back in when the next band’s set would start, only to find out she has a boyfriend when i asked to hang out. this has happened numerous times, be it a spouse, a casual partner, what have you.

don’t get me wrong, it’s always good to stretch that particular set of social muscles and to know that someone felt THAT safe around me, but it’s ultimately not what i’m looking for. i plan on continuing to do the things i do for myself for sure, but am I looking in the right places? logically, i know it isn’t the case, but at times it feels like everyone has either paired off or relegated themselves to hermitdom once they hit 30 😮‍💨😮‍💨

I (M28) Went on a dinner date about 10 days ago, she (F25) said she had a good time in person and we texted after that night and she echoed it again, also saying she would like to hang again BUT her schedule gets super busy over the next couple weeks.

A few days later, on a Monday, I checked in and asked how her weekend was and she said it was good but busy. Overall, it was a pretty short convo, didn’t ask anything back to me, but she said her upcoming weekend was going to suck as she’s working the weekend, but does have Friday off with her mom coming in town for her Mom’s birthday.

On Thursday, I followed up again, and said hope you have a good time with your mom, asked if they’re doing anything fun. And then asked if she was free at all next week to do something fun, like bowling.

No response. So, given not much effort to keep the conversation going from Monday to Thursday, and no response between my message on Thursday till Sunday (yesterday), i ended up messaging saying:

“Hey, I’ve enjoyed getting to know you so far, and I know you’ve had a busy week, so I just wanted to check in because I’m getting the sense you might not be that interested. No worries if that’s the case, just wanted to be upfront rather than to assume”

And she responded: “Omg dude I am sooo sorry!!! I suck I have been so busy!!! I did enjoy my time with you but I think I am realizing that I am not in a place to prioritize building a relationship when I am working such long and busy hours and that is not very fair to you. I truly didn’t mean to not respond to you!”

Now I don’t think interest was ever super high, however she did say she had a good time and wanted to do it again in person and through text. I fear my persistence in messaging forced her hand to say “I’m too busy”… thoughts?

I ended up replying, as the final message: “I totally get it, and I appreciate you letting me know! I’ve enjoyed getting to know you, and if things ever slow down and you’d want to meet up again, feel free to reach out. No worries either way, but glad we got to hang out!”

Apologies for long message.

We didn't even do anything but i was so happy i could die lol. Like i was just looking at him thinking "omg is this real, i'm so happy aaaa".

So it went like this: he called me saying he just saw a dream about me and asked if i'm ok. It was such a cool dream but i'm not gonna decribe it bc it's so long. But i was surprised bc he's my friends' friend and i've only seen him a couple of times with them. Then he asked me to hang out. We went out and just drove in his car for a few hours until he suddenly said how about we go get molly? So we did and he said "we'll go insane if i just drive while we're high on molly and it's cold outside so let's go to your house"

We went home and i was thinking is he trying to sleep with me? Asking to take molly and then convincing me to go home. Bc that's what the other guys do all the time. And i wouldn't be able to reject him bc i like him so much but it would be so disappointing for him to do that, it's literally the first time we're actually talking to each other. But he was sooo nice, he didn't do anything, he didn't even touch me! We talked for like 6 hours straight and he also played the piano and sang and i was on clouds lol.

Then we watched a tv show and he didn't even get close to me, we just sat next to each other and watched the show. Then the REALLY good part came. I suddenly got a headache and nausea and i told him and he said "do you want me to massage your head?". I layed down on his legs and he started massaging my head and then my neck and shoulders and he was also touching my hair and stuff. He kept doing it for 45 minutes straight and i was sooo happy, literally all my physical problems went away, my headache and nausea went away completely 😂 lol he said i think you didn't even need a massage, you just needed some caressing to fill that hole in your brain. I don't know what he meant but i keep thinking about it, tell me if you guys have any idea.

After the 45 mins he had to go bc my parents were coming over and when he went home, i was literally sitting on my bed for 3 hours and thinking about that 45 minute. God help me, i'm doomed.

I have been on two dates this year. Two of them said we didn’t “click”.

It sucks, because I look back at my past relationship and I never remembered dating being this difficult. I know not to take it personally, but how can you not?

I’m well kept, employed, going to school, have a car, kind and genuine, but not a pushover. I’m an asian male, who’s on the short side. (But height isn’t an insecurity factor). I have a cleft lip, I doubt that’s the reason. Maybe it’s just my personality?

I’m kinda losing interest in dating because I go on these first dates and they go well. Then later they tell me otherwise. I don’t want to force a connection with every person, I realize I only need one person that will say yes and like me for who I am.

On these dates, I took them to a coffee/bookstore, I pay for the date, I don’t push any physical activity such as kissing because that’s too soon for my preference, I’ll hug them and open doors and guide them through etc. I don’t talk about sex or things like that. If anything I’m trying to see if I like them as well. During the date we talk about life, goals, ambition, religion.

I have been engaged before, I don’t tell them this stuff. So I’m aware that I have the ability of being a good person and someone worth loving. It’s just weird because sometimes I feel inadequate after these “failures”.

Hello all!

I'm not exactly dating someone right now, but I have been "long distance talking" to someone who I think is absolutely amazing. There's a lot of issues about that "long distance talking" thing, and if anyone wants me to elaborate I will, but I won't unless someone truly wants to hear it.

I feel like I might be coming up a little short...I'm 22M only 5'6" tall, pretty stocky build. The girl whom I am talking to 22F, I am estimating her to be about 6'2" tall, and she's of a slender build.

What is the general consensus on tall girls liking short guys? I don't have any photos on my profile of my full height, whereas she does. She doesn't know how short I am. Likewise she likely doesn't know that I've noticed how tall she is.

It makes me feel like, no matter how good we're hitting it off on everything from common interests, shared values, shared activities (when we actually meet someday in the coming months) that I'll be too short for her.

I don't have a problem at all with tall girls. If a girl is taller enough, that means every time I hug them I get a face-full of tiddy lol. What I'm afraid of is how she'll view me being so much shorter than her.

Caption, basically. This is gonna be long because I’m bored at work and I’d like to really paint a picture with this.

TLDR at the end.

I was out with a group of friends - more like friends of a friend, it was a group I never met before but I felt very comfortable around everyone because they were friends with a person I respect and enjoy. We’re at a bar and playing card games, and this guy, we’ll call him Ezra, and I ended up playing War with each other and bantered the whole time, it was fun and I think he’s cute. I then went on to introduce everyone to the game Spoons. Not one person at the table knew how to play lol. I could tell Ezra was having fun, and I could feel him looking at me throughout the game.

When we were done playing, Ezra and I chatted while everyone was finishing up their drinks, and then we headed to the next bar. Ezra stayed back to use the bathroom and to talk to his sister who he ran into.

At the next bar, I was chatting with somebody I had graduated with, Cameron. We had a lot of the same classes together, so it’s fun to catch up and see what he had been doing since graduation. It’s important to note that Cameron is as gay as they come, and his boyfriend was in the endless bar line trying to order drinks. I do think if you’re not truly LOOKING, then Cameron can come across as straight or ambiguously oriented. I may just know him too well to NOT see him as gay.

Anyway, Ezra finally rejoined the group at this bar and sees me talking to Cameron. After chatting with some other people for a while, he comes back to me, Cameron, and three other friends that are standing with us, and chats with all of us for a bit. At one point, the conversation lulls and we break into two groups, and it becomes me, Ezra, and the friend that brought me, Veronica. We were talking about our jobs, and I like that he’s super passionate about what he does. He then leans over to me and says “Hey, that guy you were talking to was pretty cute, don’t you think?”

I was confused for a second because my mind couldn’t compute liking Cameron in that way, lol. But at that very second Cameron was directly next to me, and I was pretty sure he saw Ezra looking at him, and I felt I couldn’t say anything yet! So I changed topics, the group reconsolidated into all 6 of us, and we all started talking about traveling. After a bit, we went to get more drinks Ezra asked me again what I thought about Cameron, “I’m pretty sure he likes youuuu.” So I told Ezra, “I’m pretty sure he’s gayyyy.”

Ezra stopped for a second and definitely had to think about it. Then his face changed, and he gave one of those long “ohhhhhhh”s to me. It was pretty funny to be honest.

But I can’t tell if he genuinely meant it or not. Is this something that guys do sometimes to flirt with girls? They see a girl they like interacting with one other dude, then, when the guy talks to the girl again, he suggests that she might like the other one? Is he trying to get me to say “no, I don’t like him, but I am into you though”? If so, I wish I made that more clear, because we never exchange numbers or socials and I have no way of reaching out to him, since the friend that brought me didn’t really know him either, she vaguely knew his sister. (it was a friend group where some people were closer than others)

TLDR: Met a guy through mutual friends, we flirted quite a bit. He later saw me chatting with a guy (who was gay but that might not have been obvious), rejoined the group, and went on to ask me 2x if I thought the gay guy was cute. Is this a common flirting tactic?

I (F/47) had a break up in May 2023 from a 5 year relationship. A few months after the break up, I wrote out a list of all the qualities I want in my next relationship, physical and emotional. I told myself not to do what I always do when I get lonely and pick just anyone in order to not be lonely anymore. Well, that list went out the window and I ended up in a non-committal on again, off again situationship with a man who just wanted a friend with benefits.... heavy on the benefits, very light on the friendship. So I did it again, I chose wrong. I always choose wrong, and now I'm single and heartbroken. But that man was also an avoidant and ghosted me all the time. I did a lot of learning and healing of my childhood self in order to calm my own anxious attachment. This past ghosting, I just walked away. I didn't want my 2025 to look like my 2024. Ghosting like that when you think you really like the person is a different kind of hurt.

Anyway, I'm debating getting back on the dating sites when the weather improves. Sometime in March or April. But I'm so scared. Anytime I think about what type of partner I want or what I should put in a dating profile, I freeze. It's not that all men are bad, as social media seems to want us to believe, it's that I'm a bad picker.

My whole life I've been a bad picker because of my anxieties. I'm scared of being alone the rest of my life, I'm scared of rejection. I cling to people like a leach to flesh. This past year, thanks to Mr. Ghosting, I've really learned how to self soothe when these feelings come up. I learned how to sit in my own discomfort and be okay with delayed text responses or no responses at all, and not bombard with a wall of text. But in my past, I've picked men who are alcoholics, abusers, cheaters, unemployed, uneducated, ex-prisoners, all because they give me just the slightest bit of attention. I'm like a magnet for men who want to remain boys. They see me from a mile away. I don't want that to happen again.

I have it all planned out, the questions to ask, the confidence to walk away when I see red flags, how to see actual red flags. I took the rose-coloured glasses and smashed them to pieces. Or did I? I'm so scared to start dating and just end up with an emotionally unavailable/immature, substance using, abusive, cheating man all over again. I just can't. I can't do heartbreak anymore, and I can't be the one responsible for the heartbreak again. I'm the problem. I'm the bad picker. I'm the one breaking my own heart when he says "don't fall for me, I'm not looking for long-term" and I see that as a challenge.

I (30 male) been dating my girlfriend (30) for 2 months. Its fun to plan dates together and just text/talk on the phone. I am usually the one who sets up dates, texts firsts or asks if she wants to talk on the phone/facetime. I enjoy being with her or talking on the phone. We have gotten very close over the last months and spend the night at each other places. She said she is terrible at making decisions, so I am always deciding what to do. I don't mind being in control and making the decisions, but it would be nice to have text first or say "hey let's go next week here". I haven't been in a lot long term relationships so maybe everything is fine but feel a little exhausted from this at times mostly emotionally. Life two has me a little burnt out but trying to be better about myself and trying to do things for myself. I am trying to not forget to have my hobbies or a life outside of my girlfriend. Should my girlfriend step up more in the relationship or should I just keep going with it and not say anything?

Hey everyone, I’m feeling a bit lost and needed to vent. I’m 34 and new to dating apps, and it feels like a huge step for me. My wife and I were high school sweethearts, and I’m a widow now. I promised her before she passed that I would eventually start dating again. It’s been two years since she died, and I’m slowly getting myself out there. I don’t even know if I’m truly ready to date yet, but I’m just starting to try.

It’s hard being a 34-year-old widow because most people on these apps can’t really relate to me. When I open up about my past, I tend to get really attached to the person I’m talking to. It’s a lot to share, but it feels like a genuine connection. What really hurts, though, is when I get ghosted after being vulnerable. I’m not looking for anyone to fix my pain, but being left hanging after opening up like that is tough.

I’m just not sure if modern dating is for me. It feels like it’s all about swiping through people and not really about building something real. I’m learning the ropes, but it feels pretty discouraging when things like this happen.

Anyone else feel like this? I could really use some perspective.

Thanks for listening.

So I (m20) Have never been in a relationship/dated, and it's probably not going to be the easiest to start since i have a stutter, im broke (cause online college) and not the best looking but I would really like to but I just don't understand how people find thier Partners/start dating.

I have friends that have boyfriends/girlfriends currently or have had multiple relationships, And whenever I ask them for advice like how they started dating their partner/How did they meet them? They always say "it just happened" or "hobbies".

I'm not meaning to be rude but that doesn't really help much. I don't understand like how does a relationship/dating, actually start?

Where do people usually find their Partners? How long after starting talking to them till they usually ask them out? When do they know if it's the right time to ask them out? If they reject you, then how do you at least try to keep a friendship? I could really use advice.

Edit: I'm not meaning to sound rude in this

I get that lifestyle choice is compatibility issue, but would men care if the women you’re dating drive a better car than you (Mercedes, Porsche, Maserati, Lambo)?

Say you meet a girl who’s friendly and down to earth in person, would you judge if she drives a luxury car when you walk her back to her car?