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/r/AskMen
I’ve gone through a few breakups and notice that a recurring theme is that I don’t share the same hobbies or interests as the men I’m dating. Personally I don’t think that’s a big deal but it seems like a big deal to them. Is that common amongst most men?
I have nothing to be excited about, so I wanna see if you have something to be excited about! Share me you reasons
My decision is I’d rather find my gf when I’m broke so I know atleast she likes me for who I am and not my assets or what I can offer her financially
So I live in a college town and I've been noticing a rise in young men's desire to perform hypermasculinity in order to attract women. Now, I totally get it and I also recognize the influence of manosphere and manosphere-adjacent content creators in this rise.
However, we also have examples of nontraditional masculinities in the form of Prince, David Bowie, Michael Jackson, K-Pop artists (and just normal korean men with crazy skincare), arguably Elvis, etc who are all REALLY androgynous and borderline feminine looking. Despite this, they are also seen as cultural sex symbols for women. In conclusion, I'm wondering why more men, who are looking to impress women, don't integrate androgynous or feminine components into their presentation? Like maybe combine being a buff, masculine dude with touches of androgyny or feminity?
I'm not saying to go full femboy or anything and I'm not saying you should present in a way that doesn't agree with you. I'm also not saying that women don't like muscles or traditional masculinity, alot of them do. I guess I don't understand why hypermasculinity seems to be the straight male dating strategy of the current zeitgeist when there seems to be cultural historical evidence that doing the exact opposite could be just as successful if not more so? Additionally, if most men, usually younger and straight men, are adopting the same hypermasculine strategy, it looks to me like it could create a red ocean situation where you fail to stand out. I see this on dating apps where there are tons of men with samey 'showing my abs in the mirror' pictures.
Idk, can someone give me their perspective on this? BTW, I'm male too.
Edit: LOL looks like I struck with some folk and some of yall are getting all culture war on me. I'm not necessarily saying masculinity is bad or even that hypermasculinity is bad. People are what they are. I'm noticing a trend with young men moving toward a very particular brand of masculine presentation and performance and I want to know why they think that strategy the is best strategy when there appears to be other strategies that seem likw they can work just as well. Btw, I know androgynous men who get laid, but people like Prince seemed like a better known entity than random people I know. This question is about optimization not some veiled 'masculinity bad blah blah.'
I can read the literature, but I'd like to hear from people who have actually gotten a vasectomy.... what was it like? Any pain or issues afterwards. I'm nervous and need some reassurance.
The "why" part is all clear, so no worries on that front.
I “dated” a guy for a week. He asked me to give him a chance then by the second week “broke up” with me. Air quotes cause I barely consider it dating, more like hooking up. We both go to the gym though; I joined after I met him cause I had been debating it since June. When he asked me to start dating, it just so happened to be the week that I had enough money to start a membership back up. I had also been talking to a coworker for months about signing up to her gym. So when he matched it was the last straw that told me - it’s time to get it.
But now that we’ve “broken up” I see him at least once a week. He smiles big and says hi… I’m nice back, but not overly interested in trying to talk to him or pay any attention other than my regular crowd watching. I see him looking at me but I try to pretend like I don’t notice and do my regular thing.
It still manages to get under my skin though. I’m wondering if it would have the same effect on him as it does me? Would this get under your skin?
I have a wonderful male friend who means the world to me. I truly hope he remains in my life for as long as I live. He has been such a tremendous support, always there to listen when I'm facing challenges. We spend hours talking, sharing our thoughts and feelings. However, I sometimes find it disheartening that when others see us together, they often suggest that there's something more than friendship between us.
What do you guys think about m/w friendships?
Isn't it interesting how some people believe that men and women can't really be friends? It makes me wonder about the complexities of relationships and how societal expectations shape our views.
I am not talking about approaching women on the street and talking them up. I'm talking about the stage where you've known each other for sometime. You know things about her, what she does, places she likes, things she does when she's free. I am unable to move away from the surface level topics to like deeper conversations. What all things should I talk and ask about beyond that?
I’m gonna be honest I’m a target for bullying im short skinny and have basically no muscle I’m 15 and want to get stronger there are no gyms around me and I haven’t got a lot of weights but I do have heavy items I could lift in general I just want some confidence in myself to stand up for myself in case any of them go over the limit
I’m 33m and was recently dating someone who is 39f.
We just broke up because she would need to have kids now or pay 20k to freeze her eggs, and I want kids, but I’m not ready yet. I also want my own kids.
We were in love, and still are. It’s really been heartbreaking because she said she wants to meet her forever person, and thinks since I am younger, I will leave her once she get to her 50s. This is why she doesn’t want to freeze her eggs.
Will I stop finding her attractive? If she stays fit, but just ages, will my eyes start wandering?
I know this is extremely subjective, but I would love to hear your experiences.
Hi I'm a 33 old male and I know I take things too personally even with friends and it's coming to a point where I'm ashamed to say I lash out; funny thing is I didn't used to be like this you could say a lot of stuff to me and I'd just shrug it off don't know why it all started getting to me. I know this is effecting my personal and professional life and I really want to get this under control, any and all advice would greatly be appreciated. Thanks
I have a wedding next week. Dress code calls for a suit. This is recent news to me. I don’t have a suit, and I have one paycheck between me and the wedding. Where can I get a cheap suit?
Pretty usual for sale in Russia, maybe some chinese low cost brand. But i bought it several times last 2 years.tho one
So I’m currently 32 years old male decent looking guy and most of my interactions with women throughout my 20s and 30s have all been hookups never been in a long term relationship before. I noticed some guys through out my life always stayed with beautiful girlfriends and always wondered how they did it. Meanwhile everything would start out intense and fizzle out after three weeks of dating. Im a confident and assertive guy but lately I’ve been trying myself trying hard to get a girlfriend but I just can’t do it. Ironically enough I always meet women when I go out with low or no expectations. Could it be that I’m trying too hard? What gives?
Including all kinds of sugar like in fruits or wheat – not just products with added sugar.
I have seen some posts on here about guys keeping stuffed animals from childhood or growing up & things like that. However, how many of you still buy stuffed animals as an adult?
I’m 22, but for the last few years, I have bought the occasional stuffed animal if I see one that catches my eyes. I don’t really tell people, and kinda just hide it away, but curious if any other guys do the same!
Met a guy on hinge in June this year, it started off pretty well but he said he doesn’t he himself dating me. Left him on read and it’s now 2 months since I’ve seen him and I left him on read a month ago. He hits me up we stared texting again. I found out I scared him off with the what are we question.
He proceeds to ask if I want to be exclusive fuck buddies. I asked him why me he said he already knows he likes having sex with me and we both know we won’t catch feels. He was correct I used to like him but I don’t have anymore feels. I agreed because he’s amazing in bed. I went over it was fun he cuddled me all night I sleep over. I went again 5 days later and his attitude totally changed. He went straight to sleep. he woke up and said u still here and I said ik you don’t want me here and he said yea I don’t what you here. He offered to walk me but his grandma was awake and I met his grandma. We’ve been texting every day for 2 weeks since he hit me up again. I know and I don’t expect to here back for him until he want to see me again. So I’ll play my part and let him be.
I want to know why exclusive and for guys who wants to be fwb with girl is there no feelings what so ever? Is his attitude a way of saying he doesn’t want this anymore. He had this behavior once before when we aren’t Fwb yet he was quiet after he use to text me but didn’t. So I figure it’ll be the same this time.
I recently started having sex with a friend of mine who almost seems to pride himself in being cold & never using his words to be flirty. He communicates more using memes actually. I care a lot about him and would like to be more aware of the ways he does show he cares, like making time for me. So, for you quiet ones, how does a girl know you’re pretty into her? :)
Are you not looking for anything? Wanting to see where it goes depending on the person you met? Looking for a friends with benefits? Please add your insight
My wife and I have two kids. She really wants me to get a vasectomy. I'm basically fine with that but what if it turns out down the road that these kids aren't biologically mine? I'd be pretty upset about not being able to have biological children because of her/the vasectomy. Would I have any legal recourse during a divorce if that came to light? i don't really want to get a DNA test before the vasectomy cause that's going to be a whole thing with my wife.
I (40M) am looking for an interesting hobby that will provide a social connection. I enjoy pottering in my workshop (a section of my garage) and my vegetable garden, but outside of that have become reliant on my partner for social connection. I’d like to be able to find something outside the home that will generate friendships so that I’m less reliant on my partner (who is quite happy to while away her day buried in a book). I live in a small town, so a lot of the city options are not available to me, and my town doesn’t seem to have a lot of groups and clubs. I’m reasonably fit, so most sports are a possibility for me, and am willing to give most things a go once to see if I like them. I also have children from a previous marriage that I have 50% of the time, so commitments that take a lot of time (e.g. golf) on my weeks with the kids are not realistic. Hoping to get a scattering of ideas of how other fellas spend their leisure time to provide inspiration and see if any of these are a realistic possibility for me.
Sometimes random old people I don’t even know tell me I’m good looking but I still ain’t pulling no girls except for the fat ones (sorry 2024 mfs I ain’t trynna be fat phobic or whatever y’all be calling it) can someone explain why that is or do old people just have no taste (with old I mean 30+) I don’t really know where to ask this but are there some guys here that know the answer?
Normally it’s the man who initiates right..
To those who has experienced it the other way around, how was it? How did it feel? Are you guys still together?
To give some context I am 22 year old indian,and to be honest I did quite a lot of things from my bucket list. I am an architecture student and an artist and a designer. But the more days pass by the more anxious I am getting it's my birthday in almost a month and I'll be 23 I simply cannot process aging. I don't want to have regrets in life and for that I work very hard in all sectors of my life. Older men of reddit how did you process getting older?
I stopped being vegan after 7 years. Is my new diet good for testosterone?
———————————————————
[What I Can Eat]
(Wild game meat when possible to Buy or Hunt)
Elk
Bison
Venison
Rabbit
Grass fed beef so far
Any Seafood
Root vegetables
Raspberries
Blueberries
Honey
Quail Eggs
Duck Eggs
Vegan Butter (to avoid dairy) Vegan nutrient fortified milk (to avoid dairy)
Grass fed beef tallow Duck fat
Plant herbs and herbal tisanes for herbal medicine hobby
——————————————————— [What I don’t want to eat]
-chicken
-Pig
-boar
-Milk
-butter
-Dairy in general
-Eggs from chicken
-Gluten
———————————————————
I don’t really care about dairy or gluten but for some reason my cognitive function declines dramatically when I eat either. I’m autistic and my challenges from that get worse with gluten/dairy.
———————————————————
My dinner last night:——- Last night I ate a grass fed tenderloin seared in grass fed beef tallow and some garlic/ steak spices.
My first new diet breakfast today:————-
A packet of smoked Salmon from “chicken of the sea” brand, heated in a pan of vegan butter.
3 soft boiled quail eggs
1 duck egg fried in a tablespoon of duck fat
Frozen Raspberries heated and sautéed in veg butter and a drizzle of honey.
More realistically for dinner I have a week worth of grass fed beef to eat 16oz every day for a week. I’ll throw whatever garlic or ginger into it to help my body digest meat again. And spices. Cooked In the beef tallow and vegan avacado butter gently melted and drizzled after for taste.
I’m out of money until next week so I’m sticking to my new diet but I’m curious if this is why I feel better. It’s helping me feel light, satiated, carbed up, and a 200% better libido for some reason.
Hormone levels and testosterone. What are your thoughts?
3 days into not being vegan
Lemme get straight to the point. Me and this guy have been dating for maybe a month and I'm here to complain about my faults because unfortunately I don't have a therapist and I need a males perspective.
So basically I learned that I have an avoidant attachment style. But I do things that I don't even understand. Like sometimes I don't want to show that I'm too interested in him of fear that he might get bored of me or think he has me wrapped around his finger. For example, when I see his text, I usually wait a while to answer even though I could answer straight away but It's part of what I mentioned above.
Sometimes I might not even try to show any interest at all even though I literally love this man. He even told me that sometimes he feels I'm not interested in him. I'm not scared for him to leave me, because even if he did, I know I would eventually get over it. But I guess I am just afraid to show affection or open up. Any thoughts on what the root cause of this could be?
I find it incredibly difficult to find an available, relatively inexpensive deodorant that I like. I do like this Dove men+ care deodorant, but it's annoyingly hard to find. Every time I try an old spice or other commonly found brands, it smells like chemicals to me and I really dislike it. I cannot wear antiperspirant and only want deodorant.
I am wondering what deodorant you like, what you've found smells good or isn't too noticeable. Any recommendations will be greatly appreciated. I don't have a huge odor problem or sweat a lot, just need something normal.