/r/OkCupid

Photograph via snooOG

Welcome to /r/OkCupid — a place for all things online dating, critiques, advice, and the weird little community we've built here.


► Rules

  1. Do not post identifying information! Blur out the faces of anyone who isn't you. Censor any name that is not yours.
  2. You can post your own profile, but you cannot post anyone else's without moderator's permission.
  3. Slurs and hate speech directed toward LGBTQ, people of color, survivors of trauma/abuse, or any other undecorous content may be removed.
  4. /r/OkCupid is moderated for quality, which means submissions or comments that provide little to no value — whether it be education, discussion, or entertainment — may be removed at the moderators' discretion.

r/OkCupid Rules


► FAQ & Common Posts


► Critiques & Advice


► Calendar

Most posts are posted at 1pm EST; Fashion Friday is posted at 2:30pm EST.

Post Day
Story Time Sunday Sunday
Ask Me Monday Monday
Rant Wednesday Wednesday
Critique-Any-Section Thursday
General Discussion Friday
Fashion Friday Friday
Selfie Saturday Saturday

► Chat

We also have a chat, just for us. You first have to register here, then click on this link and join #okchat. Be sure to use your Reddit username so other users can recognize you!

/r/OkCupid

255,177 Subscribers

1

Got email from customer support

This is what they said to me.

0 Comments
2024/11/09
19:25 UTC

0

How to recover banned account?

Hi, I need to get unbanned both from okcupid and tinder. Since I guess they see my MAC address, should I need a VPN and a new sim card? Does it work like this? Someone tried?

1 Comment
2024/11/09
16:47 UTC

1

ANY NEW UPDATE FOR OKC?

ANY NEW UPDATE FOR OKC?

1 Comment
2024/11/09
07:01 UTC

0

!31st

hours!+'☆°3/3?2was?qx

1 Comment
2024/11/09
01:43 UTC

25

When is OKC going to fix their broken app?

Ever since they updated the Terms and Privacy policy this past week or two ago, the app has been almost completely broken for me. I had to redo some of my account as if I just created it, my self-summary intro has somehow swapped places about 4 topics down with my 'current goal' topic so my bio is now my 'current goal' essay. Every single person now only has one photo on their profile and a very broad summary for most, it's like the app messed up and placed me in an algorithm with nothing but bots and fake accounts, fake accounts were bad before but now every single profile is one even on the match %. It's unusable now and I don't even know if other people see my profile. I really don't want to make a new one because this was my new one and I just made it about a week before the update after deleting my old one 4 years ago.

15 Comments
2024/11/08
21:47 UTC

1

Anybody else having problems changing preferences

I’ve tried deleting re downloading, disabling, going to the web version nothing freakin works

1 Comment
2024/11/08
20:42 UTC

40

Why is OKCupid so broken right now?

Video is just one example. They also decided to do a re-run of all of the intros for some reason(I was also confused when I saw over 70 intros in my app) which is bugged to hell. You also can't press X to get rid of the intros, you have to block people - I don't wanna do that? Also some matches you can 'unmatch' with but a majority of times you have to block people to get rid of them in your inbox. Is this a new (block)feature implemented so that you don't see people you've already swiped on? But then, what's the point if OKC is gonna reintroduce those profiles back into your pool ever once in a while anyway?

They also removed the custom answers for Questions, which I'd personally put a lot of effort into but that's besides the point.

Anyone else experiencing this recent major drop in quality/bugs/literal broken features lately?

(I'm on a Galaxy S23 Ultra.)

51 Comments
2024/11/08
12:49 UTC

0

Online dating as a queer woman looking for women

I just yelled "YES, OMG YES" more times than during the best sex (which turned out to having been abuse - but that's another story) I've ever had - I missed the article when it was first published - it's about Tinder, but OKC is 100% the same thing:

"It should go without saying, but queers aren't here to fulfill people's sexual fantasies. This exploitation is part of what makes the 'women looking for women' section of Tinder a minefield, especially for queer women like me. (...)

You know who really, really likes to use the 'women looking for women' setting? Couples in predominantly heterosexual relationships. They like to do this constantly, relentlessly, obliviously on practically every fourth profile I see. (...)

I just don’t want to have to deal with any more couples looking to 'spice things up'. Not really interested in having 'sexy fun' while anyone’s man watches. (...)

Queers are not anyone’s freaky adventure. We’re not some kinky lake of experience for 'daring' couples to dip their toes into and then step back from, shrieking and thrilled by their own bravery. We’re just people looking for dates online. And we are giving a hard side-eye to all those profiles that say things like, 'It’s my boyfriend’s birthday, and I want to give him a night he never forgets!' (...)

But speaking from the bottom of my cranky lesbian heart, let me just say: More than any other feature, Tinder needs a setting for couples looking for a third. Think how great that would be! A queer person looking only for other queers on Tinder would never encounter heterosexually-partnered couples casually using an entire community to get their fairly routine rocks off! Couples in the new 'couples looking' section could feel secure in the knowledge that anyone who sees them actually wants to see them and is already looking for what they’re offering. [the author is incorrectly assuming that the couples aren't just seeing bi women as sex toys and objects, but as humans] (...)"

"DO: Post clear pictures of both of you, together. Make it clear that you are a couple from the get-go. Being stealthy about being a couple is not the way to get anyone to trust you! (...)

DON’T: Send close-up pictures of your girlfriend’s genitals to queer people you are interested in as an 'enticement'. Definitely don’t do this without your girlfriend’s consent. Maybe don’t send these pictures at all, ever, because what on Earth are you thinking, Mike?

DO: Check out apps specifically dedicated to hooking people up for threesomes, including Feeld, Thrinder and 3Somer.

DON’T: Lie about what you would like to have happen during a threesome. Do not put in your profile that your 'husband will be present but not involved' if your husband is very much hoping that he will be involved, or planning on involving himself. Good lord."

https://archive.is/lxtSN#selection-415.0-419.6

5 Comments
2024/11/08
12:19 UTC

4

Can't see pictures anymore (desktop website), can't dismiss intros, can't like new people

Have I been shadow-banned or what. This has never happened to me before and I thought at first it was going to be a temporary glitch but it's been going on for a week or so now I think and nothing I do fixes it.

I've had an account on and off associated with this phone number for years and nothing has ever happened so it's weird that it would happen now.

I can't see anyone's pictures when browsing, and I have 2 intros waiting. When I try to open one of their profiles and click "pass" to remove the intro, it doesn't do anything. I sent a message to someone the other day right around the time the bug happened and they're still in my likes list and I can still write them, so I think my intro never got sent.

Has this happened to anybody else?

8 Comments
2024/11/08
11:28 UTC

5

Super likes being automatically un-super liked?

Normally people I’ve super liked disappear from my “you like” section. I noticed today the people I’ve super liked are back in my “you like” section with the super like removed.

Others have this happening? Anyone understand what is going on?

2 Comments
2024/11/08
10:57 UTC

0

Erotica

Open for a Collab Just a seductive imagination of mhhh kinda Woman 🌷🌷..... Pic credit;- Pinterest.

#erotica #domsub #lust #darklove #minequeen #minegoddess #seduction

Read my thoughts on YourQuote app at https://www.yourquote.in/unknown-shades-da808/quotes/dark-hairs-seductive-eyes-chocolate-brown-skin-melting-ice-crb43t

4 Comments
2024/11/08
08:43 UTC

4

What is this symbol that I saw in a guy's bio?

6 Comments
2024/11/08
04:47 UTC

31

okcupid now the same database as match?

After the big downtime/update earlier this week, I noticed that the ID's in the okcupid URL had changed from purely numeric to an alphanumeric string (i.e. they used to be like /profile/1234567890/ and now they are more like /profile/a1B2c3D4e5F6 etc.) Today, I happened to notice that match profile URL's have a similar ID string (i.e. /profile/a1B2c3D4e5F6 etc.)

So, I took one of the ID values from okcupid, plugged it into a match URL, ... and the same person popped up on match. Tried it with another person, same result.

There is either a shared database, or the profiles are duplicated across the two, or ... something.

This would explain why they are destroying okcupid and getting rid of all the unique things; they are slowly moving to a merge, I guess.

9 Comments
2024/11/08
04:24 UTC

7

Intro messages glitch?

You know how a user's profile will disappear from your "who you liked" section when you send them an intro message? When I try to send an intro message, it says it went through, but the person's profile is still showing up in my "you liked" section, and when I try to comment on their profile or message them, the previous intro message I sent is gone. So, messages are saying they're going through but are not actually. Plus, my profile says I must add at least 50 words to my "about me" section, but what I've written exceeds that requirement and any attempts to add more words is not recognized. I keep getting "you're at 26 words, please write at least 50."

I have the app and use Chrome on desktop. The app says I've met all the requirements as far as word count, but messages are still not gonig through on the app either.

8 Comments
2024/11/08
03:59 UTC

2

Service down?

Is anyone else getting this? It’s been a week. Even other people I know have gotten this when opening the app. The website also won’t load or let me log in when it does load.

0 Comments
2024/11/08
02:34 UTC

6

Out of Ten Messages you Send, how many do you usually get replies to?

If you send ten messages on OkCupid, how many people typically respond?

17 Comments
2024/11/07
23:12 UTC

5

The update made all photos not show up for me

My photos don't show up. No one else's photos show up. I'm guessing part of the problem is cause I'm using microsoft edge browser. I don't really care that much to sign in somewhere else, just thought I'd post this to let anyone else know you're not alone if this sort of thing is happening to you

1 Comment
2024/11/07
21:53 UTC

0

(cj) men are trash cont.

Hey y'all. Just sewing up my cooch over here.

How are y'all doing?

20 Comments
2024/11/07
20:54 UTC

5

How are you guys getting matches?

I opened my account a few days ago. I am not going to pay for premium but it says I have 18 likes. Every message I send gets ignored so I’m trying to figure out if there’s a way to get more matches or if I’m doing something wrong.

5 Comments
2024/11/07
19:12 UTC

4

Help if you don't see pics anymore after the Nov. 2024 update

Short answer:

You seem to use Firefox (or one with a similar anti-tracking feature). There should be a shield-symbol right besides the address bar. Click it and switch "Enhanced tracking protection" off (but keep in mind possible privacy issues). Maybe first use the "Report broken site" right below that option first and tell them you cannot see pictures, so you can use Tracking Protection again with OKCupid in a few days.

Technical reason:

Match Group seems to merge OKCupid more with it's main servers on "match.com", at least the content distribution and media serving framework. So now, media is loaded cross-site (not from "okcupid.com" domain name as up to the update). Since this might be seen as tracking, Firefox blocks that access.

3 Comments
2024/11/07
17:51 UTC

20

Men, do you care if a woman has a pro-choice banner?

119 Comments
2024/11/07
16:56 UTC

5

How to move around prompts?

Does anyone know if you can move them around? I really want my self summary at the top of my profile rather than 3/4 of the way down? Is this even possible?

5 Comments
2024/11/07
16:22 UTC

0

Lady’s opinion on age on profile and what’s your age range set at?

Lady’s what do you set your age range at?

Not trying to lie about age. But for search purposes and matches I ran into an issue on another dating app algorithm. I am 45 look 35 in great shape and take care of myself. Typically been dating girls from 35-40, not by effort and not about the number, just who I have been attracted to and seems to be more around that age range that take care of themselves. My opinion for the most part age is just a number to an extent obviously. Not talking Leonardo DiCaprio here!! I’d date someone older if we matched and were fit and we vibed.

For me it’s about being in the same place in life. I dated a 33 year old for about 6 months, was very mature and successful, kids same age as mine, ect… in all aspects before I knew her age I assumed she was about the same age as me. I also dated a 34 year old for 5 min that acted like she was 23 not what I’m looking for. It is crazy out there lol. So for me I don’t want to put too many filters on what profiles I see because you just never know who you’re gonna vibe with.

In my OPINION dating apps allow us to be way too picky. I’ve caught myself swiping left for stupid stuff but when you really think about it. I would bet if you met someone organically in person, 60% of the picky stuff we swipe left for would never be an issue.

But back to matching and what I’m asking lol. I just don’t want people to think I’m trying to just lie about my age. Just don’t want to miss someone that would be a good fit because of algorithms.

This is me just assuming and taking wild guess that most lady’s set there age range within in 5 years on dating apps. Google AI says women on avg set there age range slightly younger then there age. I have a hard time believing that. As in person I have younger girls come up to me all the time, they can obviously tell I’m older but they just don’t realize how old until I tell them and they’re shocked. Haha.

Lady’s what do you set your age range at for searching.

18 Comments
2024/11/07
15:22 UTC

15

Every profile has only one photo?

There has been lots of bugs ever since the maintenance update but i've noticed every profile has only one photo? Some profiles I remember having several but no longer. I can still see all my photos but maybe people only see one photo of me now? Anyone notice this?

11 Comments
2024/11/07
15:11 UTC

5

Randomly can no longer log in. Yesterday I went to login as I normally do to see the login window, attempted to log in and got this, sent a support ticket and yet to get a reply. Haven't talked to anyone there in a while, could I have been Banned for no reason? Any ideas?

10 Comments
2024/11/07
07:04 UTC

1

can others read your reply to your intros?

can others read your reply to your intros?

3 Comments
2024/11/07
05:14 UTC

0

Someone send me an intro and I replied. And I didn't get any messages from the intro I replied. Do you encounter this?

0 Comments
2024/11/07
05:09 UTC

0

Asking

Someone send me an intro and I replied. And I didn't get any messages from the intro I replied

0 Comments
2024/11/07
05:08 UTC

29

Anyone else having this problem with the intros?

27 Comments
2024/11/07
02:41 UTC

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