Hi everyone, I’m a gay man and I’m 31 years old. I’ve never had sex, and although I’ve tried to meet people both in person and through apps, I always end up failing. Socializing and trusting strangers is a challenge for me, and I feel especially out of place in noisy or chaotic environments, like bars. I’ve a hard time connecting with people in these contexts and tend to feel overstimulated and overwhelmed, which makes interaction even more complicated. I find dating culture in the “gay world” quite hostile.

To make matters worse, I live with my parents, which greatly limits my ability to have an intimate space. Furthermore, I've a lot of difficulty concentrating on studying, working or simply enjoying my hobbies, because my sexual desire has become too strong, and masturbation no longer gives me relief like before. This frustrates me a lot, but I can't find a way to relieve myself or manage this situation. I’ve talked about it with my psychologist, but she downplays it. I’ve also tried to contact an LGBT association where I live, explaining my case, but they never responded. I feel quite alone and desperate.

Has anyone gone through something similar or have any advice? Any help or experience will be very welcome. Thank you for taking the time to read me.

Hello everyone. I’m new here. I just want to see if anybody else has experience with being super horny all the time and wanting to have sex but when it comes to it you back out last minute because you feel like it’s too much? I really like masturbating with other people and exchanging nudes but I want the real thing! How do you overcome this? I’m FTM and bisexual so it’s already hard enough to find a partner to explore with. Especially one that understands you.

Anyone online bored I need so help 😘😉🍑

Ever since I met a girl with autism and got to 3rd base with her I've had constantly only thought about having sex with girls on the spectrum and can't get it out of my head

I really want to want to have sex. I've been basically celibate and avoiding sex or anything physical besides really calm snuggling/gentle touch since the spring after a massive shut down. My husband has been so patient and compassionate, but understandably confused and sad about the loss of intimacy. I've been trying to find other ways to be physically intimate but everything feels so MUCH.

It's not that it feels bad, it's that any physical stimuli hits a certain threshold and then it's just overwhelming and I shut down. I can't even say "I'm done, let's stop" because I'm overstimulated and overwhelmed. If we keep going at that point, I'll dissociate out of my body and then it's not enthusiastic consent. He is not about that and doesn't want to traumize me.

Has anyone experimented with ways to sort of "numb" their body? I have an Ativan Rx, I was thinking about maybe that? I don't really want to get drunk or high to have sex because it's not about getting out of my brain. It's about making my physical body feel less, if at all possible. Like, I want to avoid an orgasm at all costs because it basically floods me and I'm completely disregulated until I can get a weighted blanket and headphones and my heart rate down.

What an insane problem.The sex is too good and I want to feel less.... Task failed successfully??

I got pizza! Chuwwo and bweadstick!

I’m not getting enough done I’m not getting enough done I’m not getting enough done I’m not getting enough done I’m not getting enough done

I'm a young autistic girl (high school age). I've recently been trying to explore my body, mostly rubbing my clit. It feels great for a second but then it feels... icky. I get hot and I shake but then I get really overwhelmed. How do I make it feel "normal" or better? I want to enjoy it.

I don't know because nobody will tell me

Hi I'm Jess 29 f bbw im polyamorus pansexual and AuDHD i would love to get to know more hyper sexuals like me and maybe chat with one time or find a online partner my mom dont let me out very much on my own so its hard to find physical intimacy so if anyone would like hmu I'd be down to trade experiences or just fun

I'm 29F, officially diagnosed with autism since age 26, and identified as asexual since I was 15. Since then I've become a bit more flexible in that identity, and in the past couple of years my interest in intimacy has suddenly skyrocketed, but at the same time I dislike most people I meet and avoid social situations, except at work.

I very rarely if ever experience attraction to people I meet IRL, which makes dating a puzzle because there's no 'spark' and the chance of me wanting to see them again is slim (ok to be fair the only date I've ever been on was accidental and almost no one has ever expressed interest in me in that way). But lately I've become obsessed with the idea of making out, and it's really eating away at me. I just want a kind and patient man to give me my first kiss, but I have no clue how to go about that. I'm not NOT pretty so I'm sure someone would want to, I've just been pretty sheltered my whole life and my lifestyle could be described as 'hermit who goes to the office'. So I'm stuck between wanting to experience certain types of intimacy but not wanting the whole package deal of dating someone or having a ONS...

I'm probably making this harder for myself than it has to be, but I've been touch-averse my whole life so these desires are very new to me. I still can't figure out if I really want to, or just like the idea of it.

Anyone out there who can relate?

Just commented on another thread about making a woman come and I touched on the fact my partner is essentially horny all the time. She has ADHD. I’m autistic and also have an incredibly high sex drive, and when I think back, I’d probably say 90% of the girls I’ve had a sexual relationship with have had ADHD (either diagnosed, or strongly suspected they did based on symptoms) and it made me realise that I’ve probably been attracted to them for this reason. And, when I also think back, probably 90% of those have been hypersexual. Is this just my experience or have others shared it? I’ve read a lot on here of autistic people not liking touch and sex etc, but that’s the opposite for me. Sex and touch is basically a need, and my partner and I typically have at least 2-3 sessions every day.

When I go shopping for clothes, I often prioritize how clothing feels over how it looks. There are certain silky materials, usually athletic wear that I seek out for what I understand is sensory seeking purposes related to my autism. Certain materials that are silky or cool to the touch(I am really sensitive to temperature) just turn me on to touch them. I guess this is stimming but also it's sexual as well. Is anything else like this?

Serious question. There are days I can’t help it but fantasize ALL day about strangers asking me to jerk off in front of them. The fantasy it’s overpowering. Really, REALLY, overpowering.

Is this a tism thing?

So... I reject cis male labeling out of hand, despite my lack of phallic interest. I accept my own anatomy just out of the idea that's what I was born with and have always had.

That said, I have no issue with the idea of cuddling or even making out with a guy. I've had some thoughts of trying anal toys, but haven't worked up the nerve to actually do it.

For as much as I frequently masturbate and love being on the giving end of intercourse (vaginally or anal), I find myself favorite sexual activity is eliciting reactions from stimulating "afab" bodies with hand, mouth, tongue, and toys.

As of now, I classify myself as a panromantic allosexual gynesexual queer individual. Seems a bit of a mouthful and I have a very hard time justifying that I'm not just a hypersexual cismale, comfortable enough in his own body to be somewhat flirtatious with men.

Looking for thoughts; willing to answer any further questions if I seem to have left out any relevant information.

Edit for clarification: I'm 36, almost 37. Self diagnosed Aspergers/ASD, supported by casually given professional opinions, still looking into official evaluation.

I think my original post kind of had to do with how we discuss sex, with the NT community, or with each other.

I struggle because my primary prerogative is ensuring that I’m not making anyone feel reduced to their sexual elements, but stating “I’m horny” seems globally reductive (albeit not altogether false in this instance).

I’m used to working with my ASD as like a guided bluntness. Sometimes that’s when I’m at my funniest, or most sociable. But with sex, I’ve really never found a way of discussing it right, and surely not in a way that feels productive for me. I enjoy so much the human element of it, that it’s difficult for it to exist in an arena where the more evolved your social skills are the more likely you are to have it.

I need eye contact when I finish whether I'm masturbating or having sex with someone. With it, I get the wonderful oxytocin high and without it, I feel gross. How do the rest of you feel about eye contact during sex?

I want to learn in-depth how to make a woman orgasm effectively. I want to learn this because making other people feel good is very gratifying, and also to mask my sexual inexperience and insecurities. I don’t think finding a partner is on my list of priorities right now so I’m just wondering for the future.

Is it possible for me to learn these skills without any hands-on practice with a partner? If so, what can I do?

Hi everyone! I'm a 21F, self-diagnosed Aspie, and I'd like to talk about how we experience physical intimacy and sensations.

My experience: I recently started seeing someone and we've become intimate. While everything feels safe, comfortable, and emotionally connecting, I notice that my physical sensations seem different from what's typically described:

• I experience very specific physical sensations (like feeling my fingers tingle behind his back, noticing how my feet rest on the car seat, being aware of hand positions)
• While kissing feels nice and pleasant, I don't feel those intense "sparks" or "electricity" that people often describe
• I feel much stronger emotional than physical connection
• Eye contact with him creates more intense feelings than some physical touches
• I can clearly tell when I need a break or when it's "enough" (my body feels heavy or tired)
• I respond strongly to verbal/emotional stimuli (like certain words or compliments)
• Cuddling and holding hands feel very safe and comfortable
• I enjoy the intimacy but sometimes wonder if I "should" be feeling more physically

Questions for fellow Aspies:

1. Do you also experience intimacy this way?
2. How do you experience the balance between emotional and physical sensations?
3. Have you found ways to better understand your unique way of experiencing intimacy?
4. How do you talk about this with your partners?
5. Does anyone else sometimes wonder if they're "supposed to" feel things differently?

I'd really appreciate hearing your experiences. Sometimes I wonder if this is just my unique way of experiencing intimacy or if other Aspies relate to this.

Note: All experiences and perspectives are welcome! Share as much or as little as you're comfortable with 💜

I always get very overwhelmed and tense during masturbation and sex and therfore cant orgasm. Often I end up painfully cramping… Do you know this? Do you have any advice? Because I am very horny and want to have Sex - its just such a struggle. How can I relax during sex?

Apologies if the title implies incest, I couldn’t figure out how else to word it.

Hi everyone, I am a 23 year old man with high functioning autism, ADHD, OCD, a high sex drive(strengthened by OCD),etc. I sometimes have trouble with social skills and because of this my parents don’t think I should be in the BDSM community, which I very much want to be part of. They strongly worry that I will get raped, pushed past my limits, kidnapped, etc, and always try to stop me. I’ve tried to keep my sex life private from them but they always find out and get mad or upset. I agree that my social skills, especially reading people’s intentions, need work but that will take years to get to the point where I can be safe enough to do things myself. And I hate lying and keeping secrets from them, and I don’t want to lose their trust. I also have struggles with being independent enough to manage the whole situation myself. And I How do I convince them that I’ll be ok? I really need to join the community now, I’ve been waiting for too long. I’m so touch starved and I’m stressed about it.

One of my special interests is learning about romantic/sexual relationship dynamics and psychology. I’ve never been in a relationship but still, I frequently think about what I would be like. I would definitely want to be the submissive boy toy for a nympho domme. I just really find the idea of a confident and bossy woman pouncing on and controlling me to be extremely hot. Like, I need to have my face forcefully pushed into my domme’s pussy for me to eat her brains out, then get fucked while I’m physically restrained. Although I’m a sub at heart, I’m not into sissification, ENM, anything related to beating, inc3st, or age play, rather I just want to be ravaged by a horny domme who can’t keep her hands off me.

IMO this inclination comes from my preference for direct communication, as well as mistreatment by mostly female school teachers and admins during elementary and middle school. I also get overwhelmed by too much responsibility, which isn’t a problem in my work and academic life. Still, I feel like I need a break from this so the idea of being taken for a ride is comforting.

I’m wondering if anyone else feels the same way.

… and that it’s different for everyone. (26f) I was raised as a catholic so let’s just start there… When I wasn’t aware of my autism I used to be scared of casual sex because I observed my female peers “catching feelings”

And now that I’ve tried it, I’ve realized how black and white I can be. Meaning if I’ve put someone in the casual sex box, I can basically hook up, leave and never have a thought about them ever again. Without feeling drained in any way. I used to Google how I should feel about sex and romance. Well, the diagnosis is what made me more open to understanding that maybe this is another area where I’m not like my peers and I don’t have to be.

Just my opinion about this, I'm a dom and been into BDSM the last 15 years, this is something I heard more and more often lately and I have to disagree when people say that being submissive is because they are weak.

This goes for any dom/sub relation, petplay with a pet and handler or any kind of BDSM really where one person is being submissive, and I'm not talking about being physically weak here. This doesn't go for everyone but thought I say it for people who need to hear it.

My opinion is that it takes a really strong person to willingly give someone else the reins. For me personally I feel proud that someone felt they could trust me so much they gave me control of the situation and their body, that takes a really strong person and there is nothing to be ashamed of even if you might think so, you are not weak because of this.

Keep having spicy fun, if being submissive is your thing, I am proud of you.

Thinking about owning one. I’m a high functioning adult male. But my 1 bedroom apartment is very small and worried it will be discovered or will be asked what is under lock and key. Just in general, what are parent’s opinions? Obviously don’t not planning to tell parents about it. Just to be clear, it wouldn’t have a head and not body of a child. Obviously this is a taboo subject, at least in western culture. I don’t feel like paying for a locker because that just seems overkill.

As some of you know me by now know I use a velour rubber ice bag, filled with cool water, as a sex toy. But what I can't seem to understand is why I feel such a free and open need to talk about my experience as I am using it, and why I feel like I lose my senses and want to share exactly what's happening to my body as I go through the process of it. Why are autists so open about sexual encounters with their sex toys and feelings. Is this normal? Or is it because I am single and would share it with my partner so I feel lonely and need someone to talk too that can be there for me when it's "time for blue"? Please help me understand, I wanna talk about it and get a handle on this.

Also some times I feel bad about being so open because I was raised stuff like that is intimate and personal, which it is, but yet, some how using blue, my sex toy, feels normal for me like it's really ok to be so open about it.

I don’t know how to handle my sensory issues during sex. It seems that I (afab) go from feeling too much it hurts to feeling nothing (for example I don’t understand when I am aroused). But when it’s time for penetration I can’t relax my body. In the past I have asked my ex partner to hug me and make pressure on my body and by doing this my muscles relaxed and could penetrate me but this was before I was diagnosed.

Now that I have a new partner it’s the first time that I can have sex with the awareness of how my brain works so that I can get a better experience… That’s why I’m writing here now. Any advices? How do you do that?

At least in your experience as one and discussing them with other autistic people.

Throwaway acc!!

I (F, NT) met a guy who came into my work (we don’t work together) (M, 25 y/o, ND) who i’m really attracted to. He asked for my number, and took me out yesterday.

He is really really sweet, but i’m only interested in casual sex. The problem is he told me he is a virgin, and he seems to be very very interested after having my number for just 2 days and taking me out once.

I have no idea if i’m belittling him by assuming that he’ll get more attached to me if I take his virginity, but i’m not sure if it’s the right decision considering the circumstances with his autism, the interest he seems to have developed in me already so quickly, and him being a virgin and potentially having not even kissed anyone before.

I’m not sure how to even bring the conversation topic up with him, do I do it over text, or in person? Should I even suggest a casual sexual relationship or could this hurt him, even though he can make his own decisions I feel with him being a virgin maybe he won’t know how he’d really feel until it actually happened.

Any advice or insight helps, I know there isn’t a blanket answer to this situation, I just don’t want to hurt him!!