Disclaimer: Briefly talking about death

I have dealt a lot with death in my life. I lost my brother and 3 dogs. They were all extremely unexpected and I took it very hard. I also was quite bonded and cared very much for all of them.

This has led to me worrying about my current dog and my mom. Especially when I see any kind of change in them. For instance, today my dog hurt her leg jumping down from my bed and I keep thinking, "Oh no she's going to die!" Or when I see a mark on my mom that I haven't noticed before, I think the same thing.

I logically understand that this is illogical thinking, but the trauma from the sudden deaths years before have scared me. I've gotten therapy and whatnot; in fact it's a lot better than it used to be.

However, I wondered if any of you deal with something similar and if you have any tips for how you deal with it.

Oh and I posted a picture of my dog Minnie here, because she makes me happy. I'm hoping she gets better soon. Feel free to post pictures of your pets in the comments! 🤗

For a long time, I have had a kind of daydream about making a bunch of AAC bracelets that would be freely available to everybody, especially people living in group homes without money. In my dream, I would pay to have a bunch of them made and then send them to anyone who asked for free. The bracelets would be made out of silicone (if you google "silicone bracelet" or "silicone wristband" you will see what I mean). There could also be Tyvek ones...basically like hospital bracelets...that would stay on but be disposable.

I got this idea because someone who lived in a group home told me that it's really hard to keep an AAC device in a home because they get stolen so often. I thought that a silicone wristband might be a solution to the problem of theft or loss.

One dilemma I had for a long time was that I couldn't figure out what kind of icons or designs would be best on the bracelets. There are some super-cute ones on Etsy, like these:

https://www.etsy.com/listing/822198709/autism-visual-aid-portable-bracelet-to?gpla=1&gao=1&&utm_source=google&utm_medium=cpc&utm_campaign=shopping_us_-toys_and_games&utm_custom1=_k_Cj0KCQjw1Yy5BhD-ARIsAI0RbXbMvf5adf814D6X_3fbpUD-Ja7uGPc6u7AqNMHDazHCDM51aHQhokEaAiT6EALw_wcB_k_&utm_content=go_12665398257_121762925993_511610210343_pla-314535279060_c__822198709_142439124&utm_custom2=12665398257&gad_source=1&gclid=Cj0KCQjw1Yy5BhD-ARIsAI0RbXbMvf5adf814D6X_3fbpUD-Ja7uGPc6u7AqNMHDazHCDM51aHQhokEaAiT6EALw_wcB

But I am not really an artist.

But then the other day, I thought, "maybe emojis would be perfectly fine as AAC symbols." After all, there are emojis for different kinds of food and water and drink, and yes and no, and bathroom, etc.

So, I have a general question, especially for people who often use symbol-based AACs, or who have friends or family that do. Do you think it would be possible to have an AAC bracelet that was emoji-based? For instance, it could have these emojis:

🥛 water glass for "Water please"

🍎 apple for "Apple please" or "snack please"

🔇 mute symbol for "Quiet please"

🚽 toilet for "Bathroom please"

🚷 walking man with line through it for "I can't/don't want to walk"

🛑 stop sign for "Please stop"

Maybe other ones would be better. I just wondered if anyone thought this could work, and if so, what symbols might be most helpful.

u/Numismautistic, you were the person I was originally talking to about this. Do you think anything like this could work? Also, how are you doing, and how is your friend who lost their AAC device?

I was thinking back about my own recovery from pretty severe catatonia, and I wondered if anybody else had the experience I did about being super, super weak for a while.

Basically, when I started to get better/to get help, I had been in bed moving almost not at all for quite a long time, and I got weird kinds of sickness all the time that I think were actually related to muscle weakness. For instance, for quite a while, I couldn't ride in the car for more than 10 or 15 minutes without getting incredibly motion sick. A few months later, an OT told me that some people actually get motion sick when their neck isn't strong enough any more to support their head. Their head bobbles around on their neck, and because their head is kind of bobbling due to the muscle weakness, they are much more likely to get car sick. I think that was happening to me for a while. I also got really severe neck pain for a while that turned out to be the result of wearing my big headphones while also sitting up at a desk. The neck pain was so severe that it made me nauseated and I had to lie down for a couple days again sometimes. Usually, I wear headphones about half the time, but for a long time I had just been wearing them while lying down, so my neck wasn't used to supporting the extra weight.

I had a chance to do some accommodated Pilates, which helped me a ton, and eventually I got better and stronger. But it was a big problem for a while. I googled around and tried to find help or advice about maybe needing physiotherapy or something, but I couldn't find any referrals or information. Now, though, I know that when people are on bedrest in a hospital, it's pretty common for physiotherapists to come by to work with them so that they don't get too weak.

Anyway, I just wondered if anybody else had had this experience due to catatonia or extreme burnout...basically getting a bunch of different, weird kinds of sick afterward that turned out to be muscle weakness; or doing any kind of physiotherapy or light strengthening exercise, especially for the neck and core.

It’s really silly, but when I beat a video game I always feel this weird sadness or melancholy. I don’t want that game to be over but I know the story is finished. I especially dislike games that have sad endings or even sad send offs for the little side characters you meet along the way.

I feel like it’s overreacting, but I sometimes don’t finish games just because I like all the characters and want them to stay with me!!

Is anyone else triggered when they feel pressure to mask their autism? I am not great at masking and I can’t cope with the expectation. It makes me feel self conscious and flawed.

I was with my family and walking out and the noise and the amount of people was too much so I started hitting my head and keeping my eyes shut and making a noise that wasn't loud but I don't know how to describe. I hate being this way that I can't even deal with what most people wouldn't even consider stressful.

My psych recommended it to me and my PCP for my ADHD and is adjusting my diagnosis now that my ADHD assessment is also complete. Apparently some of my diagnosis categories would be Level 2 if my ADHD were brought under control which would be huge for me. I'm still Level 3 for communication and behavior (stimming, meltdowns, etc). So a mix of Level 2 and 3.

Particularly my "ADLs" (daily activities...?) would improve, which is what I'm assuming that is since I forgot to ask for clarification. But to be able to take care of myself and clean up after myself on my own more would be amazing.

I was just hoping to hear about other's experiences with it.

Hello,

I got diagnosed before there were levels. Is there a test online to see what level you may be at? From reading, I assume that I'm level 2.

hi all! i'm a special educator with adhd and (likely) autism though I have not been officially diagnosed. i am however certainly neurodivergent. i currently work with a wonderful 5th grade girl who has autism. she has a really beautiful and expansive internal world and communicates most often through body language / AAC / short and to the point sentences. no need for fluff. she is really intrigued by her own skin and also by blood. lately, she has begun picking her face to the point of bleeding, and then picking the scabs when the spots scab over. this comes with an intense desire to acquire small, circular, white bandaids from the nurse's office to put on her face. she often puts on the bandaid, then peels it off, and throws it away. I worry that access to the bandaids might be reinforcing her desire to pick at her face, and am looking for any and all suggestions / advice / ideas / critiques, etc.! All I care about is her wellbeing, anything we can do to get there and I'm in! I'm wondering if having unlimited access to bandaids would reduce or increase the issue. Same question with 0 access to bandaids. Skin picking silicon "toy" from amazon for replacement. more "pain" giving sensory tools / toys. what do you think? thanks so much for any and all help folks might offer!

So this post is talking about my relationship with my best friend, who has access to my Reddit and may, probably will see this, so hi, idiot(endearing term in our friendship)

We're to start, well I guess I'll start by saying my history with friend has been rough, in primary school(age 4/5-12/13) also my 3 or 4 "friends" either abused me or showed me sexisim or ableism, fun stuff.

Secondary school(age 12/13-18/19) was a bit different, I made friends with a group of three but we fell apart. I also made a friend, who is good but very unreliable and never makes it to plans, they are also a ridiculously dry texter.

Currently my friendshiops look like this, I have a friend/acquaintance online, actually made through this Reddit(Hi Caoimhe!) and I have someone IRL I'd consider my best friend. I also have a new friend I'll get more into further down.

So I'll call my best friend moth, because it's an inside joke that if they decide to read this post it will make it a... Fun Read.

Moth and I have been friends only since May/June this year but we have become very close. Moth moved here to Ireland from hungry. She and her parent nearly moved back home but them we met and that changed things.

Moth is also autistic(lvl 1). She didn't really make friends coming here, except one in the gurdwara. She had a good handful of friends in hungry but especially when she just came here the language barrier of not knowing English was very hard, now her English is amazing tho, but she still hasn't had that much luck making friends.

Me and Moth have a good amount of overlap in interests, my special interest is abnormal phycology, and Moths are in a few different areas around culture, language and animals(and others, but to sumerise them). Moth also likes phycology. We also both really like toys! Tho Moth and I don't share the same enthusiasm for all each others interests, a big thing we differ one is I like certain horror games(if they have lore and ways I can analyse the phycology) and will hyperfixate on them, Moth isn't much of a video game person in general, and Moth is interested in genocide and athletics(particularly bouldering and hiking among others), I can find genocide sometimes interesting and sometimes not and athletics, while I do like walks and swimming, I generally prefer team sports.

on Friday, I met a girl who is around my age(one year younger, but 2 school years younger) that has the same interest in horror! It's a long story how/when we met, we met up on Sunday and had a blast playing kinitopet together. Moth has also had luck in the friend department, meeting a girl who likes similar athletics, and maybe other interests I'm struggling to remember now, they met up today for the first time outside the group the girl and moth are in.

I'm happy for moth but I'm petrified that Moth will want to spend all her time with the new friend and leave me. We hang out nearly everyday, minus gurdwara days(Tuesdays and Sundays). I would trust moth with my life, I actually kinda did because my career was gone a few days and she stayed with me to make sure I ate and sleeped(I need support to do those things), she's amazing genuinely. I'm scared, I've found myself a second choice in most relationships, I'm scared that Moth having another option means she'll choice the other kid over me.

I need advice, realistically this isn't likey to change anything, but I just don't feel like Moth will like if she has another option and I really love Moth and am scared but also feel guilty, she should get to have other friends but I'm too scared of being disregarded because of Moth having a knew friend. What can I do to reduce my anxiety over Moth choicing the other girl over me? I'm scared I'll do something stupid and run from the friendship we the logical part of me knows I'm being stupid but I am scared of being hurt.

I also won't have my normal counseling for about a month wich is unfortunate timing.

I googled if one of my favorite characters was autistic just as a fun little question abt one of my special interests. I found a clip of the character’s VA talking about how he had gotten the same question from a younger fan who was also autistic. The VA confirmed that the character was indeed autistic and said it was one of his super powers. I personally thought it was nice and enjoyed the feeling of seeing myself represented in something so important to me. However the comments were really mad, saying that it was dismissive and undermined how severe of a disability autism is. (Also, most of these comments were coming from NTs and LSNs) I’m level 2/moderate support needs and yes of course, there are things that I struggle with significantly that are basically 2nd nature for allistics. I experience firsthand what it’s like to try and operate in a world that wasn’t made for people like me daily, and that’s putting it lightly. I get it. And I know that there are people with even higher support needs than me that struggle on a whole other level; but at the same time, they were acting like autism is a devastating disease and everyone on the spectrum was constantly miserable and that nothing positive should be even remotely associated with ASD. And that’s just not the case. I love indulging my sp. interests and they bring me so much joy. Sensory hypersensitivity sucks— but I love the way I can become fully immersed in and almost feel the instruments in the music i’m listening to. Just because my experience with the world is different doesn’t mean it’s all bad. (And btw, I am in no means talking about/defending people who try and dilute peoples struggles, through toxic positivity. that is COMPLETELY different!!) Holy crap this was a lot longer than I intended. But anyways, I wanna hear other autists’ opinions on this. :)

So normally I wear noise canceling headphones but with tomorrow being halloween I decided to do ear plugs so they didn’t ruin my costume. Are foam or silicone ear plugs better? Just for school, the bus, etc. ty!!

I feel it's important to say I'm ASD level one (and ADHD and anxiety and depression) but I relate more to the posts on here.

The way I talk. My family finds it adorable (even my autistic siblings). I have this high-pitched voice and this odd intonation. I pronounce everything correctly, but it sounds a little like a seven year old.

I want to be a voice actor, so I have a lot of voices I can do. I tend to mainly do this one voice, but sometimes I forget to do it, or I subconsciously slip out of it.

And then someone asks me a question. I hesitate to speak (I always do), but then I answer. I either proceed to give a three-word answer, or I proceed to heavily detail things only to be interrupted.

And even talking to my neurodivergent friends, I'm just nodding along, not knowing how to respond.

And I can barely control my emotions.

Ugh.

Let me preface this by saying I’m not diagnosed autistic, but I’m pretty sure I’m neurodivergent in some way or other. I’m the parent of a semi-speaking autistic toddler with high support needs, and I’m totally blind. This morning, my little guy was stimming in his chair, shaking his head rapidly back and forth and wiggling a lot. I didn’t mind. Shaking my head really hard is a thing I used to do as a kid. It made me feel good, and he wasn’t causing harm. I just had a hand on his chair to keep him from tipping over. My mother-in-law was in the kitchen too. She’s raised three autistic kids but the youngest is twenty-three so people know more about things now. She told me to give him some fruit because he loves fruit and it’d distract him from stimming. I told her I most assuredly wouldn’t be stopping my kid from stimming. He seemed happy and I don’t like being distracted either. (I spin a lot while listening to music and being distracted can really mess me up. Mother-in-law said it’s ok to distract from a stim with a prefferred activity. The idea gave me the ick. So, I wonder if I’m the only person who thinks what she said to just feel wrong to you?

so this has been a thing I've done for years. Since I am autistic and pretty much strictly do not speak to people, I don't know how to be a person I guess, or my own person? Anyway, I do use the internet and typically in the past I have what I like to call downloaded other peoples personalities characters or youtubers.

And it's been effective because I don't know what type of things to say or how to talk and stuff like that, so I think back to the character and what I've seen online and copy that. I've done this at times in my life when I've had to be around people, the last time I did this was over a year ago when I was attending university in person, and I copied Paige from atypical. Probably not the best character to have copied.

Anyway, I have been studying online this year and I actually have to start a new job and it will be a full time job as a primary teacher. And in the past before I learned I could copy other's personalities I had MANY part time jobs and didn't even know how to be human I guess and quit them all very fast! But I have homeless and very poor so I need to figure out how to work full time. It is hard because on paper I look fine, like the school I'm working at is just looking at my qualifications and just assume I'm good. But they don't know yet I am autistic and despite my best attempts just not very good at other things!

Someone I was looking at copying is Toby Hendy, who is a youtuber, and she has a very nice, calm, and smart personality. And I wish to be like her, however this will be a long time thing, as I will be trying to act like her for my full time job. So I am not sure how it will go and if I slip up, I'm not sure if anyone else in this sub has done something similar.

My autism makes me feel isolated. I have two friends but one lives far away and rarely texts me because she's busy and the other one that's near me is also busy, plus they're both not autistic so I feel like they can't fully understand me.

I have no other friends. I have very few interactions everyday and doctors told me not to isolate but how? I don't know how to make friends my age. I don't go to uni in my city or a sport or anything.

There's no club for something I like. I don't know how to socialize or to start a conversation with a stranger and I feel like a burden to every person because of my needs.

I don't know what to do. If you have some advice I'm here to listen. I like being alone but it's gotten to a point it's too much I haven't gone out with a friend in like two months.

ive never eloped before (that i remember) but whenever i get anxious or have meltdowns occasionally i feel the need to escape and hide. i feel really panicked and want to run away. is this what others feel before eloping? does eloping calm this feeling down? i end up sitting frozen in my spot for forever until the feeling dies down enough.

I was just prescribed wellbutrin alongside my ssnri and mood stabilizer and I was just wondering what people's experiences with it have been. I've heard a lot of good things about it. I'm especially curious to hear from people that haven't been diagnosed with adhd but happy to hear from all perspectives :)

Often when people speak, I cannot process what they say, I hear it as gibberish and cannot understand what they are saying even when they say it clearly. Even if it’s just one word, I cannot understand it and even if they repeat themselves a lot I cannot understand what they say. It’s as if they spoke gibberish or as if they didn’t say anything at all. It’s the same with reading sometimes. When I read words, it looks like gibberish and I don’t understand and the letters and numbers dance and jump on the paper or screen. Sometimes I just don’t hear people even if they repeat themselves loudly

Do you ever feel like you lack energy to pursue your special interests? Like you spend it all on other things like going to the supermarket or having your hair washed or trying to mask (even if you fail) and you have none left for what you really enjoy doing.

Aside from that, what are your special interests? Mine are animals (especially jellyfish), construction (plus plus), drawing and digital painting and fun facts.

I have ASD lvl 2 and live in Australia, in Australia we have mainstream schools where most students attend, and special schools where children with disabilities go, however you can only get into a special school if your IQ <70 regardless of other disabilities you may have.

Because of this in mainstream schools they do have special education classes within them. I am always in mainstream classes, besides maths in year 7 I was put into the special education class. However, I probably didn't need to be put in that class, but I had a friend in that class, and I wasn't really attending school and they said they would switch my timetable to match my friends classes if I attended more often. I'm assuming because I also have ASD that's how they were able to do it.

Anyway, flash forward to now I had been trying to get a job as a teacher, and had a job interview at a special school recently. Um....... During the interview I was asking questions about how special education is different to a mainstream class, and how classes are typically ran and stuff like that. I was told that in the school they pretty much just focus on life skills and don't really teach any actual academic stuff. And I was super surprised by this as I had assumed it would be both. I guess she saw my reaction because she then told me quote "These kids when they leave school they will never amount to anything or do anything, the most they will ever do is attend a day program". SHE LITERALLY SAID THAT. QUOTE EXACTLY LIKE THAT. I was so taken aback. I was planning to mention during the interview how I am passionate about teaching inclusive education as I am neurodivergent myself.

However because she said that to me I decided it would be best to say nothing, I know special schools and special classes in mainstream schools are different. But little does she know she was speaking to someone who literally had been in a special education class, saying people in special education go on to do nothing.... I am visibly autistic as in how I present (despite trying not to be) and also have a speech disorder. So pretty obvious I have some disabilities too..... Anyway, I was VERY uncomfortable and decided not to take the job there because of that. And I am literally NOT convinced that people that go to special schools go on to do nothing ??? My IQ is 86 which is normal, and I've never experienced having a lower IQ but basically just because someone has a IQ 16 points less than me, they are apparently never going to do anything in life????

Also, I was taken for a tour around the school and taken into 2 different classrooms. Now I am not a special education teacher, and obviously new to it all but in both classes the children were just all doing their own thing playing games around the classroom, with the teacher and teachers aide supervising. I'm not sure if that's how they are meant to be run...... But I would assume there would be at least some attempt at teaching going on..... I was told that's how the classroom looks all the time, and that's what to expect......

My support worker suggested making a weekly schedule which really upset me. I am wondering if my issue with it is relatable to anyone here because I always feel like my feelings on this are "wrong" and don't match people's expectations on autism.

I am naturally very rigid. I develop routines "on accident" and then become distraught when having to deviate from them. The thought of being given a whole black-on-white list of which events are to happen at which time on which day, all of which will profoundly upset me if they do not happen the way I expect them to, seems extremely unhelpful. I need my environment to have the flexibility that I lack myself. I feel like I need a multitude of "undefined" hours on my day in order to deal with the stress of transitioning between different tasks/parts of the day, and in order to be able to cope with unexpected things that come up.

When I was diagnosed I was given a daily schedule that basically defined my day down to 10 minute intervals, and it made it hard for me to go to the bathroom and meant I never showered until after bedtime because I lack the natural flexibility to go, okay I am meant to be doing this task right now but it is okay to deviate from that to go pee. And maybe that's my own problem, but I've never been given a solution to it. Just an explanation that rigidity is good for autistic people and that the schedule will be helpful for me if I can just be less autistic about interpreting it (which makes no sense to me).

After I started crying my support worker said she heard me and that we can change it so we don't include times and that it's all about what's helpful for me personally which was really nice. But I still feel bad because her initial explanation when I said I need flexibility to be able to deviate from the schedule if needed is that the whole point is to stick to the schedule and that flexibility adds stress for autistic brains. Is autism meant to make me some kind of superhuman who can still stick to all the tasks I set out to do today even though I slept poorly and woke up already having anxiety chest pain and then had an unexpected meltdown? It is easier for me to let go of the expectations I had for today because they weren't in a real "schedule" but now I feel like I am doing it wrong and maybe making myself worse by not being more consistent with the things I do every day. There is already so much opportunity for things to go wrong with the routines I am attached to now though, I do not want to expand that further. Is it just me? Please tell me if you relate.

Every night almost I find myself incapacitated by fatigue around 7-8pm despite having energy during the day. As a result I rarely ever do skincare because I just fall asleep before I can even think of doing it. Also the sensory aspect of washing your face/ putting on skincare is usually enough for me to skip it altogether, I do floss and brush my teeth every night tho.

Why is it I get treated like a little kid every time I leave the house? I don't remember the last time someone not my family had a regular conversation without pet names and deferring to whoever's with me. This even happens when there is no one with me. If my parents go meet with people there's like zero expectation I participate in the adult conversation and I should bring something else to do. It's not even a few people, it's like everyone ever. I do look younger than I am, but I know I don't look whatever age these people act like I am. I work part time with little kids and that's like the only time and place I am ever my actual age.

The crazy thing is I actually enjoy it? I really like not getting talked to and someone else absorbs all the socialization I don't want. Even if I'm alone I still seem to get the kid treatment, which is weird (unless people just don't want to talk to random kids?) Don't get me wrong, I never really want to stop swinging and going trick or treating, but I don't know how to feel about it being ALL the time?

Here in the US we have elections going on, and while I do feel strongly that I should always vote since I can. I do still find the process to be really difficult for me in a lot of ways.

Honestly there was a portion of my life when I first was old enough to vote where I felt like I genuinely just couldn't understand the things I was voting on well enough to feel qualified to make a decision on it, at first I'd skip voting on things I felt that way about and only vote on the things I'm sure of.

Now I do try to vote on everything. The only things I still consistently feel hesitant on are things like bonds, taxes, wages, etc. Anything that affects the economy. I don't feel like I can recognize whether somethings is an economically viable plan or really wrap my head around the potential consequences of a given change, I can't even manage my own budget without my mom helping me with it.

The problem I do still run into every single election though is just how much energy it takes to find, read, and process the information I need to make a decision. It's exhausting, I usually have to spend at least a few days on getting through just the quick reference voter guide. And I always feel burnt out and less able to function during election season because of it.

I definitely thought I had more to say on the topic but between reading the voters guide and a recent change to my meds I'm kind of out of brainpower right now. I still think it's important that I vote I just wish it were more accessible. I am at least grateful that where I live everyone is sent a mail in ballot so I don't have to go out to be able to vote, just have to remember to fill it out and send it on time.

I'm curious to know if anyone here has similar experiences or feelings towards voting

I was wondering how many of you are employed and what do you do?

I’m level 2/MSN and have been out of college (BA in education) for a year and a half now and worked as a substitute teacher, special education teacher, and I’m now a paraeducator in a special education classroom.

I had to quit my last job because I struggled with severe burnout and other mental health issues because of the stress and too many demands. My current job expects much less of me in comparison and I work 35 hours a week, which is better, but I feel myself slowly going into burnout again and I don’t know how to prevent it. I worry that it’ll always be like this no matter what I do. I need to work to afford to live because I don’t think I’d be able to get disability. I’ve also noticed it’s really hard to find a job in an area you don’t already have experience in.

I just wanted to make a post talking about my boyfriend and how helpful he is. He is autistic too, but LSN and very good at masking. He is very self-aware, and I am very unaware. I grew up with my mom telling me I am "unteachable" and she pretty much gave up ever trying to help me with most things, and pretty much drilled it into my head that I'm going to have to end up in some kind of home or psychiatric institution as an adult because there's "no hope for me." She made me just accept that people wouldn't like me, I wouldn't be able to work or live alone, etc. I'm glad I have my boyfriend now to help me learn and grow. He lets me know when I'm staring at people, talking too loudly, or talking about things that I shouldn't talk about in public. He helps me understand why people may be feeling a certain way towards me, and what I can try to do to have people feel a bit more positively about me, like making sure I'm looking in their general direction when conversing. I like how he understands why I do or don't do certain things, and doesn't make me feel bad, but explains how my behaviors might make other people percieve me differently from how I want them to. I also tend to lack "common sense" (for a lack of better terms) when it comes to doing certain tasks, and he helps me learn how to do things more efficiently and successfully. I love him and appreciate him so much, and he's helped me so much. <3