so i had two people that i thought were good friends most of last year who are both autistic with LSN but a few weeks ago one of my other friends told me that they were talking behind my back, saying im annoying and “too much” and that i talk about my special interests way to much.

i’m super sensitive to comments like this because ive been told stuff like that by so many people pretty much as far as i can remember, but it hurts even more coming from other autistic people :(

Hey guys,

I don't know what else I can say. I was already so overwhelmed with emotion after the death of my grandmother 2 weeks ago, that now, after the very unexpected death of my step father (someone I have been incredibly close to and consider a father figure in my life), I have reached breaking point. I won't say what I did or attempted based on the rules of the sub and to avoid triggers for others. But I am now scheduled in psychiatric ward for the next 72 hours (after which I will probably still here just not under a psych hold). I can't spend time with my mother due to this (despite her really needing family at this moment) and even if I do discharge, I wouldn't be able to travel to see her (I live in Australia, and my mum lives in scotland). I most likely won't be able to attend my step dads funeral, or wake or anything. All because I got so overwhelmed by his death.

I am so fucking depressed right now, despite being in a psych ward I barely have the energy to get out of bed. I don't even have the energy to call my mum or my brother (who both live together) to see how they're holding up. I'm angry, depressed, pissed off, betrayed, heartbroken and so many more emotions, and I just can't bring myself to call them.

I've never experienced death before now, and yet now I have lost two of my closest and most loved relatives in such a short period of time. This fucking sucks, I hate it, I hate how I can't be there for my mum and brother. I hate that I'm on a involuntary psychiatric hold. I hate that I can't talk to my step dad one last time to tell him how much he meant to me. Tell You what fuck this:

Dear Malcolm,

I know that this is a random sub reddit in your eyes, but to me it's one of the few online places I feel safe to be me. It is for that reason I am happy to write this anonymous letter, never to be seen by family or friends, but by alot of strangers who I hope will think of you and thank you for being the amazing father you were.

You didn't deserve to go like this, you had one of the strongest hearts one could ever have hoped for. You have always loved me, been patient with me, taught me life skills, shared my interests and joined me in celebrating my wins and weeping of loses. You were the absolute best.

I know that I never was technically your son, but my God would it be hard to tell. What you did to my family over the years, bringing us all together and loving one another despite many ups and downs was insane. And I am hoping long lasting.

Malcolm, I miss you so fucking much, you meant the world to me and I can not thank you enough for all you have done for me.

Thank you Malcolm.

I have and always will love you.

Love

Alex.

Thanks for reading that guys,

It really means alot.

Cheers,

U/bolticus13

Hi all, one of my special interests/passions is aviation, and given how many aviation enthusiasts have some form of autism, I was hoping to find some of you guys here on this subreddit.

Ever since a young age, I have been fascinated by the idea of aviation and flight, specifically commercial aviation (I also love military) and while others may find the idea flying a chore, I get excited whenever I am at the airport of fly, not just because of the destination. Recently, my love of history combined to add a new perspective.

In terms of how I nurture this special interest, I am interested in collecting and building model aircraft, sketching, and also viewing aviation related content online. I don’t really game like most, though

Does anyone out there also share my interest, and if so explain about your connection to the passion, your preferred aircraft, and what made you this way. I would love to hear what you guys have to offer!

Ive seen many posts from people who are waiting to be assessed for autism or self diagnosed outright asking the question; “What harm do the self diagnosed population do to those with diagnosed autism?”

Well, number one: autism is taken less seriously when there are so many people who ‘claim’ to have it.

Number two: the wait lists for assessment and diagnosis is very long and continues to get longer and longer. It also makes it harder for people to get on waiting lists even if they truely need it. In some instances it is causing children who need and deserve consultations and assessments to be pushed out for a time.

Number three: Autism groups are no longer safe and sometimes impossible. The same with support groups or any groups you, as an autistic person, used to find helpful and accomodating, no longer exist.

Here is the evidence I have for that:

I have severe autism and am generally very isolated, I rely on caregivers and support workers. One of the goals I have had is to participate in the community more often, ideally attend a group for autistic people regularly.

Initially I was able to participate in certain groups for short periods of time and had built up my ability and tolerance to attend a group for autistic adults.

On the first visit, everyone was welcoming and I tried my best to be comfortable and open.

Unfortunately out of that group of about 8 of us, only 2 of us were officially diagnosed. The others were self diagnosed and were jumping around, talking incessantly with each other (not me or the other diagnosed person), screeching, squeaking even meowing throughout the group. It was like it was a drama class on caffeine.

I did my best to last the whole hour and a half. At the end the guy who was diagnosed (I know the self DX and the actual DX because in the introductions everyone said that), he said it’s always like this. He said he can tell it was hard for me and that he also has a hard time with it. He said there arent any other groups that are any better either. I told my support worker who was with me that I dont want to go back, the topics were not relevant and the people were too much for me. I never went back.

The self DX are taking real support and resources away from people who have autism that affects them in every way. These self DX people have apparently mostly taken over all the support groups and day programmes. With people wanting to be inclusive they arent turning anyone away, therefore the programmes are full and mostly full of self DX folks.

I feel sorry for the guy that was at the group I went to. He said he has been attending for several months and he is usually the only diagnosed person there, sometimes someone like me comes along when a spot opens up but not often. I asked him why he still goes and he said it is part of his goals/planning with his cause manager so he has to attend somewhere and there wasn’t much better out there anyway, Apparently he tried several groups and they are all the same now.

Thats one real life example.

I know you've seen some of my other posts and figured out I am a 20 Year Old Autistic, Porn Addicted Virgin but I am making to ask if I'm able or worthy enough to find love because I do really want a wife or a harem of wives but can I really do due to all the self hate and self loaving I have?

Hello everyone I am wondering if anyone has experienced autistic catatonia because I think I am experiencing it recently. Can you tell me what it was like for you and how you have managed it? Yesterday I had to use AAC almost the whole day because I could barely talk and also my mom had to provide tiny detailed prompts for me to stand up and move around and if something was confusing I would freeze up until I could figure out what to do.

I marked this as nsfw just in case.

When I have meltdowns or panic attacks recently I have been punching my head very very hard. It’s causing significant pain for me. I stopped for almost a year but it came back recently due to a trigger. It hurts a lot but it also feels good which is why I don’t stop. But I know I need to stop for my safety so what can I do?

I have low-medium support needs and am generally thought of as "mildly autistic," which is true by some definitions; I've always had advanced speech and language skills, I've never had aggressive meltdowns, I know how to complete most ADLs, I can recognize and respond appropriately to danger, and I'm not visibly disabled beyond My co-occurring avoidant personality.

I've known for a while that I have MSN, but I'm only just now realizing how impaired I really am: the only meal I eat dinner (even though I'm hungry from the moment I wake up), I only use the bathroom once a day, I don't go to sleep until the sun rises (even though I'm often tired hours earlier), and I only bathe and brush My teeth once every several months. I have dermatitis neglecta from not bathing and at least five untreated cavities from not brushing.

I know how to do all of these things on My own, but My inertia and need for stimulation are so severe that I can't bring Myself to stop doing whatever I'm entertained by at the moment.

I need help and live with My mom, but I know she wouldn't help Me in any meaningful way; she believes that I'm (quote) "on the low, extremely mild, extremely high-functioning end of the spectrum" and mostly insists that I do things on My own.

she stopped making Me breakfast months ago so that I'd make it Myself, but I never consistently did this and she never intervened. she briefly provided direct support in getting Me to bed, but only with the purpose of encouraging Me to do it Myself, meaning that she stopped pretty soon afterwards and outright expressed that she found it disruptive while she was helping.

she generally tends to ignore My disabilities and health issues unless they're life-threatening (which My autism obviously isn't), so because I'm apparently so "high-functioning," her main goal is to just let Me figure out things for Myself, even though this obviously doesn't work and hasn't for years.

has anyone else here been in this situation? is there any way for Me to accommodate Myself? I try setting alarms and reminders or otherwise integrating ADLs into My routine, but when I'm really into something, stopping on My own gives Me anxiety attacks, so I often don't follow through. is there anything I can do?

I just want to say that I'm happy and that I survived thanksgiving and everything surrounding it. I was having a very rough time these past couple of months and to at least feel happy makes me happy.

This one donates to a charity for non verbal people and it came with a free sticker. Now I have to decide what to sew it onto because I have a lot of jackets and pants that I make

10/10 definitely ordering again

(Punksforautism.com for anyone interested)

I have no idea what to do with the sticker, I'm really weird about stickers and I protect them with my actual life for years and never stick them onto anything

I'm probably going to also post when my shirts get here so sorry for anyone getting annoyed by me lol

A few days ago, my father told my mom to tell me that i have to get "re"-assessed before i enter any college or university. He said i have to do this for accomodations, but i'm not sure it's required. But the next day, he also said that i would have to be assessed again this year, or maybe next year.

It was apparently because he went to a workshop for kids with IEPs/Special (Educational) Needs, it was for people who were going to transition to a post secondary pathway, like either heading to college or university or just straight to the workplace without post secondary education. That was the only information he told me, not even the name, but suggested that i actually attend another one as well so i understand more, i guess.

So today, i researched more on this topic and found out it seemed to be required in order to receive accomodations because apparently just having the diagnosis isn't enough for the college or university to be able to accomodate and otherwise support me and other students with IEPs. This was from websites based in Canada, so i'm not sure if this is only for students in Canada or internationally or just for North American students.

Has anyone experienced needing to do this to receive college or university accomodations?

Does anyone else have much difficulty transitioning from a task or situation to another? For me it's very difficult and I go in overload of information and get stressed very easily. I feel like a weight is on my head. What can I do to help?

Trigger warning: police/restraint/injury

On Thanksgiving, I was in a really tough spot because I was around family who I cut contact with, and it drained me of all my energy. After they left, I ended up having a pretty bad meltdown and threw/smashed some things. I didn't throw anything at anybody, nobody was hurt at all (except me, my hands got cut). I've never tried to or have hurt anyone during a meltdown in my life. My mom called the police on me, and my dad restrained me for the first time ever and it was so scary.

The police got there and I was not answering their questions because I was in too much distress. I was just sitting on the floor sobbing. All of a sudden they forced me to stand up, handcuffed me, and brought me to jail where I was scared and confused and it was traumatizing.

I opened up to my best friend about what happened and now they are scared of me and upset with me, and didn't offer any support after this terrifying experience.

Has anyone else had something similar happen? I feel so isolated and like a monster. Idk why I'm even posting this.

It's a group organised by an autism charity in my country. I'm excited but nervous. I don't know a ton about. Not sure if it's going to be mostly lower or higher support needs autistics. The form we had to fill in had alot of questions(how does you child communicate, how can we tell if their overwhelmed, etc.).

I'm excited but nervous. It's not til the 11th of December I think.

I can’t drive and it makes me feel like such a baby. My parents have to drive me to and from work and they always have to walk me to places and stuff because i get lost and overwhelmed but I hate it because it’s embarrassing and no body else my age I know is the same. I just wish I was normal. Feel like such a baby. I’m just tired of feeling like this m

A little background, I'm a male, 34, I was diagnosed this year with ADHD and then shortly after Austism (I still don't even know what this is to me). I've feel like i've been slowly going further and further downhill ever since, I've been pulling away from everone, starting fights out of confusion to the point my partner left me, which is a big part of the lost feeling as i derived most of my self worth from our relationship and others. I've been trying to hard my whole life to find somewhere i fit in or someone i fit with, every time i get close i destroy everything around me. I'm so sick of hurting everyone that gets close to me, i feel like I'm cursed to be alone, or be a burden that others have to shoulder. Thank you for coming to my Ted talk

Sorry the photo isn't the best, my tablets camera isn't very good sometimes lol.

My family is driving me crazy but I can't leave. I can't just get in a car and take a drive, because I can't drive. Can't call a friend to relax with, I don't have any.

I wish I could ... I don't even know what I wish for. Just for something different.

I know a lot of lower level autistic ppl love video games and even have some friends with autism that do but a lot of them frustrate me. I cannot do anything fast paced like games that involve fighting. I also have a lot of trouble with games that involve a lot of fine motor movement which is a lot of them. I still like some games like Stardew valley and Minecraft (though I only really play creative or in peaceful mode) and I like Pokémon because I can take my time with the turn based style of fights that aren’t timed. Sometimes my friends will play games together that involve shooting or some other fast paced thing and I always feel like I can’t join because they would get annoyed with me and it makes me feel left out. It’s frustrating too because when I tell a lot of people this they just say I need more practice but it doesn’t seem to matter if I practice because of my processing and fine motor issues. I’m mostly just curious if anyone else feels this way and has also gotten frustrated about it?

Basically for most of my life it was thought that I am level 1, however after stopping college and discovering new thing about myself I think there is a chanche that I might actually be level 2

Can I join?

and today me and dad listen to sesame street on the way to the hospital it help me my with anxiety and sensory of having a dry mouth cus im not allowed to have water because of sedation. and i grabbed a piece of ice and put in my mouth but my dad made me spit it out. i was not going to swallow just make my mouth less dry. but im not allowed i guess so he made me spit out well anyway this happy smiley face mask made me feel happier and i wanted to share that with you guys before i have my MRI whenever that is this morning they are going to put me to sleep for it.

I'm so tired of certain people (especially certain autistic people) complaining about my autistic traits, but then will later on say that autism isn't bad at all or even a superpower, and they'll also say that my autistic traits aren't a part of autism, when I've literally seen these traits on autism/asperger's symptoms lists given to me by doctors.

Has anyone else experienced this?

Well I’ll be moving to my own unfurnished flat via adult social care with 19 hours of support a week and was wondering what advice people have here. PS I’m from uk not USA as I think most people on group here are from America so things there probably won’t apply to me or will be different. Thanks for reading!

I hate the holidays. Thanksgiving is in just two days and then Christmas a few short weeks later.

This is my least favorite time of the year.

Family expects you to come and be present. It seems like no one understands how draining everything is for me. I don't want to go anywhere. I don't want to be in an exhausting situation to appease them. I just want peace.

So then if I accomodate myself by saying no and not going, which I've been getting better at over the past year, I still feel guilty from them, guilt trip myself in some ways, and feel bad for not going.

No matter what I do or think, it just seems like this time of year is going to be bad for me as long as my family is alive. And then when they're gone, I'll probably still feel guilty for not forcing myself to go in the past...

I don't know. Kind of a sad rant, I guess, but I've felt this way for a long time and each year I unpack another layer of why I feel this way (hello, autism).

Sorry for the negativity / sadness of this post, I just felt that I needed to get it out and maybe see if anyone feels or has felt the same.

Today I had to help my mum with emailing some documents to the company that will employ her to care for me, and it was awful. I feel bad because my mum helps me all of the time so the least I can do is help her with using technology since she's not very good with it, but just from the stress of trying to get these documents onto the email I was on the verge of a meltdown. I am thankful I already had my ear defenders on because I got a splitting headache and I was about to start bawling. If I were hearing raw noise at the time I am almost certain I would've lost it. I am also thankful that I took my anxiety medication and it helped a little.

I don't know how people can do stuff like that every day and still function. I wanted to crumple everything up and scream. I feel bad because I think I made my mum feel bad about not being able to figure it out by herself. I want to be a more helpful daughter in the ways that I can, but my autism always gets in the way. I really wish I weren't so easily overwhelmed. I wish I could take care of her more instead of the other way around. Stuff like this is just so frustrating. And I don't want to stress my mum out even more than she is by freaking out over something so comparatively little to what she does for me all of the time.

Maybe I should take a break next time and work on things in small pieces. I just wanted to get it all done at once so I kept working on it even though I was overstimulated.

My poor mum. I don't want to stress her out. She is so patient and understanding with me, but I know I can't be easy to deal with. She helped me feel better later. I really want to be a helpful daughter.

I wrote a comment trying to help someone but they didn't find it helpful and someone else replied in a hurtful way. I can't stop thinking about it and are tense even though I tried the usual things to calm down and distract myself.

It was a comment under a post about autism and adhd and usually the comment section is ok. The main person said they were struggling a lot with ADHD but they do not take medication because they had a bad reaction. I replied that there are different types of medication and even ones that are in different groups, so even if they had a bad reaction then that doesn't mean they will all cause that and I suggest they ask their Dr for advice and to try others.

I also said my friend had another condition but a very similar problem (a very fast heart rate that they needed to go to the hospital to get medication to make it lower, that the person said they had experienced that.) And that my friends new medication didn't cause a bad reaction at all and really helped and they wish they tried it sooner. I wanted to help this person avoid suffering unmedicated ADHD and to at least try something to see if it would help, I know that medication helps a lot of people.

However someone else replied that I was deliberately being mean and gaslighting the person. I replied that I was trying to be nice and help them and I don't understand what about my comment was mean and could they quote a part for me to understand. I said I wasn't gaslighting them and that accusation made me upset and that if anything I think they would be gaslighting me because they were saying I was trying to do something I wasn't.

Then they replied and didn't quote any part, and didn't explain why they thought I was sounding mean, or why they thought I was deliberately trying to be negative towards the person. They said I was trying to tell the person they didn't have a bad experience and was saying they were lying about visiting the hospital or something so was gaslighting them. But I didn't say that at all! I didn't even discuss their bad reaction, or the hospital visit, so I said that isn't what I meant at all and I believe them and asked which part sounded like I was saying that.

However their reply didn't quote me or explain what part sounded like I was saying I didn't believe them or thought they were lying. It was/is confusing because they said that I was gaslighting the other person because I was "invalidating their experience" and not sounding sympathetic enough. I said I don't think that isn't what gaslighting is and then checked Google and replied with the real definition of gaslighting (I said I wasn't sure and that I checked Google.) I also tried to explain that I didn't think I needed to say "that was bad" because I thought it was obvious, and that anyone would feel sorry for them but now I realize it isn't obvious and that I do struggle with that problem, so I will try to remember for the future to say things I think are obvious to me.

I deleted the notifications because seeing them was making me stressed. But now they haven't replied for many days and I think I might never get a reply. Which frustrates me as so often I don't know what I did wrong or what I said to give the completely wrong impression (I was literally trying to help the person not hurt them.) People don't give me feedback enough when I ask, especially the people who massively misunderstood what I was trying to say. I keep having these problems and can't seem to improve well and it is frustrating. But when I have nice interactions it makes me very happy and I get a lot of socialising online so I don't want to give up or become even more isolated.

I know this is a small thing but it's a mix of not being able to understand why they think something different from what I said, being falsely accused of gaslighting and my constant struggle to be understood that is getting me down.

It also seems like their reasoning doesn't even make sense like they said I was accusing the person of lying but then avoided that and said I was just not being sympathetic enough. Stuff like this is difficult I think about it a lot trying to figure it out because it doesn't make sense but I feel like I am just not following or missing something.

Where as if it is something like one person said "X celebrity has a pet dog" and I said "you are right they have a pet but they actually have a cat" and then they reply that I was lying and trying to make them look bad and they said they had a cat at first, at least that is clear cut they were lying, I can see the proof, and I can understand they probably felt embarrassed at being wrong. So I can understand and move on and not talk to them more and not even think about it again (I hadn't forgotten months until trying to think of an example just now.)

But interactions like this are much more confusing and stressful. I couldn't think of anyone to talk to who would understand, some people say it's like anxiety but the main thing is that I don't understand and that is the most stressful part. If if I got answers why they thought that or why they said it I would have zero anxiety and not being stressed. Anyway I thought someone here might understand or at least not be mean.

I'm not sure if it's SSI of SSDI but I applied for assistance and have a determination appointment with the doctor on Dec 2nd. I applied about a year and a half ago so this feels like a big deal. What are they looking for/what kind of questions will I be asked?

I'm nervous because it's a doctor, obviously, but also because I do need the help but I consider myself to be physically capable of work

My biggest issues revolve around workplace conflicts, understanding instructions, frequent meltdowns, time management, asvicaring for myself, etc but under the right circumstances (though they usually don't exist) I can work

For me to be able to work a traditional job I don't think I'd be able to work more than 3 days a week, it would have to be non busy hours, non customer facing, and I'd have to be able to move around a lot, No one wants to hire me because of my disabilities because I'm not suitable for customer service, however "no one wants me" isn't exactly what they're looking for I presume?

I'm not sure what to expect at this kind of appointment to have general responses thought out in advance. My mom will probably be doing the advocating during if that's allowed, but I want to make sure we're on the same page beforehand to avoid any mishaps that may ruin my chances at getting assistance