I feel so lost. I want love and a deep relationship and a community. But I feel so flawed and unworthy after the end of my toxic relationship. I have no clue how I stand socially as I haven’t had a chance to form an adult community because of Covid. I don’t know where my value and worth lies within society.

My biggest flaws: -High anxiety -A little out of shape (renaissance body let’s say lol) -I don’t drive (too anxious) -I lack a dependable friend group -I can be slightly co dependent -I feel deeply and require a lot of openness -I love my cat more then anything -I’m unmedicated ADHD and I can struggle to meet and work on goals

Im blonde and young, conventionally attractive face and I have a successful career. College education. In therapy. Straight female, 23.

Do I need to work on any of those flaws in a big way? I just feel overwhelmed and embarrassed to bring up these insecurities to those closest to me. I feel like I lack some social engagement and community to be able to determine my value and worth externally. Please give your insights. Thanks

I like playing geometry dash but getting mad just makes it un enjoyable and less fun how do I stop getting mad

I feel like as if I am constantly being compared to others. As if I am always in a competition but I’m NEVER THE WINNER. Social media ruined my life. There is always “the best” and I feel like I am so out of this race. Not being first or the best at sth is just driving me crazy. This makes me think:

-I’ll never ever going to be able to:

.get the dream job, .move to the dream country, .get married to THAT girl (since no one will ever choose me as a husband since there are billions of “better” man out there), .draw attention of any person about anything, .be a person who is “the best” in his field. .be a handsome guy

If you just go up and search for anything, you find out it has already been made by others in the best way possible. It is so hard to take your place in the human race.

Best youtube channel owner? position occupied. Best Vlogger? p. occupied. Going hundreds of country? done by others already. Studying in one of the best universities in the world? who do you think you are to do so.

I don't know when it started but I've found myself becoming unable to do stuff I would normally do. The earliest example I can think of was having an aversion to brushing my teeth. I would procrastinate it until it would annoy me that my teeth were really dirty. My worst habit is not sleeping. I don't normally sleep. I find myself staying up for around 2 or 3 days before passing out the moment I'm in my bed. The things I've seen myself not doing are washing my face, brushing my teeth, sleeping, drinking water, working out, and eating. It's genuinely affecting my life alot and I don't know what to do about it.

When I try to do one of the previously mentioned tasks, I freeze up and feel like I have no controll over my body. I'll know I want to do it, but I won't. On the outside I seem like a perfect student, but these things are making it much more difficult to live normally.

Does anyone have any advice? I don't think I'm close enough to anyone to reach out to and therapy isn't an option. I want to work on myself but my mind is the main thing stopping me from it.

I am a skinny, not super attractive teen. But I wouldn’t say ugly either. I get bullied a bunch at school and I don’t know why, stuff with my forehead and hair. But I don’t think it is that bad. Any tips?

I am afraid of making decisions that I might regret as I age and struggle to understand myself

So I have this weird problem where I am very good on leaving a great first impression with people. I have never had a bad reaction from approaching women, outright complimenting them right from the beginning, or from going on dates from dating apps. But once people start to see how I talk, and get to know me more, it always goes downhill. Maybe about after five minutes of talking. They see that i'm a loser (obviously I just say the negative self talk here but I fake it in real life) with no hobbies or passions and that i'm depressed. My looks carry for the first bit of the conversation but when shit gets real, the women I talk to start distancing themselves from me very quickly. Is this a sign that maybe I am not ready for dating or maybe I should take a few years off at the bare minimum?

I have a lot of numbers saved in my phone, which doesn't even mean anything, hundreds of numbers of women. But if you would ask me how many of them can I text and would actually answer, would probably be 0 of them. A lot of sparks from the beginning and then nothing. If I give up now, then i'm going to have regrets, but if I don't give up and keep getting rejected over and over it's going to ruin my confidence even further to keep getting my hopes up and then destroyed. I know other people have it way easier, but it's never been that way for me. And even in rare cases when I do get close to getting into a relationship, it's never what I expect it to be, I don't feel intensely attracted to them, or a deep connection. Worried something may be wrong with me.

whatever, I have a problem with not using the computer, or more precisely playing, I've been to Monk Fashion a million times, but always after a week there was one day where, I said to myself and that one time and I played all day, and then the next day I was a wreck, and so on, until finally I increased to 2 times a week, until I came back to playing again, I had it with my phone too, but with my phone it's easier for me to grasp it, and I don't feel the need to sit on it,Anyway, I use it once every 2 weeks, but it's literally not harmful, plus I use it like that, no because I'm addicted, at least I think so, but as for the gaming computer, it's two different stories, when I enter to play a game no matter what it is, I fire up the stupid savage in me, I start reacting, fuck everything on one card, And I say that I'm going to fuck this monk mod right away, and that I'm going to play 24 hours straight, I feel like a total wreck who can't hold on again,so I have a few questions, how to start to stop playing anymore, I really want to stop because I'm very addicted, I can during these sessions, if I die in the game, I can use aggression on everything, e.g. hitting my fists on the wall until I bleed, even though I know that these are bad habits, I have a habit of hitting the wall with my fists until I see how blood will flow on most of my ankles, So I'm a savage and a terrible one at that, I've tried Monk Mode a few times, but I kept coming back, and the question is where to start?and how to start? The second thing is how to start reading books? because I rarely read, somehow I couldn't how to start, I can stop masturbating, and I can also meditate so that's all

when its friendships, ill push them away.

when its relationships, ill eventually blow up

when its family, ill avoid them

no matter what, I seem to avoid connections

One time in particular, I had a FWB situation, and ended up becoming aggressive, and arrested in the process

What is wrong with me? Please help. I am alone, dont wanna be, but I keep destroying everything in front of me

My actual question before self babbling is: How to figure out what actionable things I should do to be what I aim to be.

Hi, I'm 27 years old, post graduate in computer science, was working with some companies and realized sh*t I don't want this, so I switched to a different domain and became a game tester. Salary is laughable but I'm happy with what I do and people around me talk about things I'm interested in. I'm truly happy here.

I've been very active on internet since 2015, had lots of internet profiles and my digital footprints were everywhere, I deleted most of my social accounts half a decade ago. Deleted Instagram few months ago. Now I only have YouTube, Reddit, Discord, and WhatsApp. I'm barely spending 20-30 mintutes on these apps combined, so I think I'm doing pretty good in this area.

I'm trying to learn German as a hobby on Duolingo, got a streak of more than an year. I'm not serious about it but I do it when I'm on WC and got nothing better to do.

Since I don't make a lot of money, and gyms in my area being stupidly expensive, I used my company fitness reimbursement program and bought a bicycle for myself. I'm cycling everyday, at least for about 40 minutes to go and come back from office. I'm happy with this instead of going to the crowded gyms.

But... I constantly feel like it's not enough.

I don't want to work on blockchain or cloud enterprise again, it's a headache and I hated working there, but they paid well, so my peers and my parents expect me to make on that range of salary. Which I'm not making right now.

I stopped using social media, now my peers (unintentionally) makes me feel like I'm missing out on trends or current affair topics that I'm not aware of. I feel like I'm the old guy with limited knowledge while these young people know a lot about many things.

I'm just doing Duolingo lessons, I don't even know what I'm going to do after learning this new language, my English is barely qualifying. What's the point?

I'm neither underweighted, nor overweight. But I'm not fit. I'm the most average looking guy. Cycling does help but is it enough?

Now, I did think of a few things like

• Get into reading books, take recommendations from knowledgeable people on Reddit or YouTube
• Get into calisthenics, watch some videos on how to begin and start doing it at home
• Try to find a side hustle or get a part time second job

I know this can help, but I don't know what's stopping me, why I'm hesitant. Is it procrastination? I don't think so. Nervousness? Maybe. I think I don't know where to start and what to look for. I often feel like things I do are pointless, yet, at the same time, I feel like I need to do more, achive more, be more.

Asking here on this subreddit is the first step I'm taking towards this, hoping for a favorable response. Thanks.

For my whole life I struggled with genetic face fat I tried cold water techniques healthy diet, it didnt work but I finally found the perfect formula. Guasha and hot water, in about 3 days I lost so much fat in my face when I continuously dripped my guasha in hot water and put it over my face and jaw area. It metabolized and killed the fat cells immediately! I finally got a jawline but I’m still working on losing more fat and I’m not really sure why this technique isn’t popular yet. Guaranteed this will work for everyone don’t use cold water that only preserves fat and doesn’t kill it, it only depuffs. Heat will kill your fat in your face!

I (19M) lost my virginity to a prostitute. it has destroyed me and I dont ever wanna have sex again.

I feel so disgusted, ashamed, pathetic, and angry to have had my first time this way. I did it because I felt lonely and ashamed for being a virgin at my age.

The sex was horrible and ngl, I even despise those massage parlor workers.

To put it simply, people with nasally voices annoy me. I want to improve on this. I've known it was a problem for years, it emerged in high school, then became a non-issue when nobody in college had a nasally voice. But what if I end up ignoring a great relationship because my friend or partner has a nasally voice? That's bad.
It might have something to do with a perception of nasally-voiced people in cartoons being frustrating or annoying. I may also have a nasally voice.

Those are the cards on the table, smattered as they are.

Hi! I’m a 20F in my junior year of college. Would love to know any positive ways to handle my current situation.

I have a wonderful boyfriend and a few very close friends. This summer, my boyfriend and his friends are taking a trip to Europe which they’ve been planning for months. Coincidentally, one of my best friends got an internship in London for the summer too. My other friend is visiting her family in Romania. And the icing on the cake, my parents are taking a trip to Rome and my other best friend flew back to the other side of the US for the summer.

I live alone. I am almost completely blind, with only 20/400 vision left in my right eye and can’t drive (obviously heh) so it is very lonely. I’m trying really hard to be happy for everyone, but it’s eating me up inside. I’m not jealous, I just wish I was there with them or had something to share too. I have my own work-from-home internship this summer too, but it’s terribly boring. Friends and family keep sending me photos of their adventures and I’m responding positively, but it leaves a huge lump in my throat and I feel miserable. I don’t want to tell them about how I’m feeling, because I want them all to enjoy their trips, but it’s really really painful.

TLDR: How can I be happy for the people in my life while handling my intense FOMO? Is there any way I can make this hurt less?

I'm 18 and I work at mcdonalds right now and it's absolute hell for me. I get avoided by everyone, very little hours, talked crap about me badly and even the managers make fun of me. It makes me wanna off myself. Anyways are there any jobs out there that I can go into? I just got out of highscjool and I really have nothing going for me. If I don't find a better job I will be kicked out of my parents house because they are demanding I work atleast 36 hours (which is fine by me, I'm not lazy I just need a job that'll let me work that long) I do not care about pay but I need anything right now. Any suggestions

In need of something to get me going in the morning, physical activity alone isn't enough, I need something where I can react quickly, where I have to be mentally focused and make quick decisions to keep my mind engaged. I play table tennis (somewhat competitively) and that works, but it's only a couple days a week.

Any ideas?

I hate everyone there. I don't talk to them much because my manager yells at me tok do stuff everytime I do. I feel genuine rage towards most of them and wish I could do something illegal but I don't I don't have the guts to do that. Anyways my manager yelled at me asking me why there's more cars held and I said you only have me 2 bags so I gave them to the right cars. He told me I should've asked what their orders were. Since when do I have to ask for someone's orders that I thought you were making to give to me to handout. Anyways I may have said something sarcastic and got sent home but before I left I cussed a few people out. Is it time to get a new job?

Am currently a high school student graduating next month. But ever since high school I never felt that am successful and I have always undermined my capabilities. I Always see people better than me academically. Hoping to study abroad , I took many external exams. However on each exam , I was never confident about scoring well . I always feel that there is something I didn’t study and on test day, that feeling stresses me more to the degree where I have to pee 2 times before and once the exam starts. Well regarding my marks , they are average. But the only reason they are average is because I took the exams multiple times. Never scored a good score from the first time despite relentless hours studying. I literally gave up all my social life to focus on the many exams I took/taking.

Reason am writing this is because I was taking a look at other people’s marks of the same exam am taking and for some reason I cried. I cried because I do study alot but haven’t achieved dream score even after taking some exams multiple times. Its tough when I aim to the stars and stay stuck in the clouds.

I'm going to try to keep this as short as i can. I (16f) had a very traumatic childhood as my mother and brother had serious substance abuse issues and my parents often fought physically for most of my childhood. I am the youngest and i think i was kind of neglected. My mom got sober when i was 13 and it was really weird because it was like being around a whole new person and she also has lots of mental health issues and trauma so it was a lot to get used to. I have a pattern of falling out with friend groups and recently had one that really made me do some self reflection. I was very toxic and manipulative to my friends and would talk about them behind their backs when they would make me mad and i would manipulate them to not care about it when they would find out because i did really care about them and wanted them to be in my life but i still kept doing it. i didn't even realize what i was doing was toxic and didn't even notice i would do it until they pointed it out to me. i always deflect the blame onto someone else when confronted with my actions. i was very depressed during the main time of me being toxic to them and attempted to end my life and i think maybe some of it was because i was focusing on my own hurt from everything in my home life and stuff and not caring and just doing what benefited me in my friendships. i feel so horrible and i think im a very disgusting person for being this way and i wish so badly i could take it all back and i have apologized so many times but they all hate me which obviously i understand. i wish i could have realized sooner but the way i act is just my like default i guess like im not sure how to u it but like i just can't control my emotions super and i just naturally go to thinking about myself and not others feelings even in small trivial ways. I being this way and i wish so badly i could take it all back and i have apologized so many times but they all hate me which obviously i understand. i wish i could have realized sooner but the way i act is just my like default i guess like im not sure how to word it but like i just can't control my emotions super well and i just naturally go to thinking about myself and not others feelings even in small trivial ways. i decided i was going to be better and never hurt anyone like that again but i did it today to my cousin because i left her alone at a party while i talked to someone else and didn't think about it and then when another person confronted me i got mad and said it was not a big deal. i realized a few minutes later how wrong i was and i love my family so much and i hate myself so much for adding to her pain even in a small way it shows i have not really done any growth and she is the last person i would ever want to hurt i love her so much and i hate myself for being this way. I think about a lot how everyone in my life would be better off if i was not here however i realize that they would all be in a lot more pain of if i ended my life and that would be the most self centered pain cuasing thing i could do. I just feel like i do not deserve veryone who is kind to me and cares for me and i go to therapy but i just feel like I don't deserve help. Why do i automatically deflect when confronted with my horrible actions and act like a narcissist and why do i do this stuff without even realizing at first? is it because of my trauma and if so how can i go about unlearning these behaviors and stop hurting people who care about me and that i care about as well. i feel like such a failure in all aspects of my life and i feel do not deserve to live but the people in my life were sc when i attempted and i don't want to put them through the pain of if i actually did it

Like I literally know that I’m ugly. I’m not stupid and I’m not fishing for compliments, I am just well aware of the fact. I got really into self improvement and weight loss and it was quite the eye opener when I lost all this weight and starting changing so much of myself to improve and like I still wasn’t pretty. It’s just like oh yeah like people don’t really find me attractive. Okay. Whatever. But I got really depressed and kinda regained all the weight my life fell apart whatever. I’m trying to get back into it but a barrier I have that holds me back is like - what’s the point if I’m still always gonna be ugly. Like I will never be “that girl”, what’s the point of trying if I already know that it’s gonna be a wasted effort?

I heard this on a Theo Von podcast and it really sticked with me.

My whole life I have being putting excuses for then doing the things I want to do. for example:

When I'm muscular and jacked I'm going to start dating and partying.

When I have a good job I'm going to travel.

When I have a better room I'm going to bring friends to come and chill.

And this quote makes me want to do everything and makes me kinda re think my life choices because with that mentality you are wasting so many opportunities in life and so many good memories that you can make. Of course it gets better when you have those things but... you can't wait on everything to start living your life lol.

A light load of a day. I actually made myself breakfast which was quite amazing. Eggs and toast but gosh I love when I have time to make eggs. I love crisping them up in oil and seasoning them very hardcore. The oil becomes spicy from all the seasoning and it mixes in with the yolk. It's a dream just to think about. I need to get a lunchbox for work. It will make keeping my food and thoughts in order when I bring it there. I ate healthy throughout the day and my stomach is feeling better than it has been for a long time. I'm kind of loving that part!!! Work was good and the customers were too.

I had to drive my dad around to get groceries and then had dinner with him. I was pretty quiet around him today but I didn't really know what to talk about. I've been upset with him for trying to put so much of his life onto me. It feels as though he wants to force me to do the hard parts of his life for him. I watched him do it for my grandmother when she did the same. I can't let the same pattern repeat itself. I just don't know what to do about the guilt that I feel. He was not a bad father. He cared and loved without holding back. But I can't be bound to this area and his new found anxiety. I want to help without doing it all for him. I want to assist without feeling like I failed when I walk away. A burden I want to shoulder with him rather than be Atlas and hold it all.

Today I reached for my phone a few times to just kill time and swipe on Hinge. It felt weird not being there but I felt relieved not having to look at the beautiful people. I know it is better for me. A self fulfilling cycle of rejection is not what a man needs when he already has low self esteem. This will make me better. Future me is thanking past me now.

I got ingredients for carne asada tacos this week at some point. The top round at work looked amazing so I got to try it with that. I'm excited and haven't had this in a long time. I'm going to jazz up the spice levels with some habaneros so I'm also excited for that. I wish I could post the photos when I make it. Imagine the food there in spirit filling one's belly.

I now sign off with my sister leaving tomorrow. The day I dread but also feel delight for. I don't know what my reaction will be yet but I know to be strong. Thank you my conjurers of the corneas. May you read and decipher this ancient text.

As the title suggests, i'm looking for foods that i can eat or have in a smoothie that will hopefully get rid of a gassy stomach. I think the gas comes from drinking coffee, but i only have like 2 a week, yet it remains. This problem stops me from running on days when I would like to as I feel way too uncomfortable, so I am extremely keen to change my diet to something better to avoid this. What does everyone eat for lunches at work which are easy to make everyday and cheap?

My best friend started talking to one of my other friends, who was her old classmate that she never talked to before, 2 months ago. Eventually, she developed a crush on him.

During the spring break, they would stay up on call with each other all night. They still do this, but only on the weekends. They would watch movies, play games, talk about their secrets, and I can't help but wish that she would be able to do things like these with me, but she usually falls asleep on our calls (that happen at night). Also, whenever we all call, I always feel like a third wheel. One time, I got completely ignored, but I think that is because they didn't hear me.

It also seems that she trusts him more than me, even though she has only been friends with him for 2 months. She doesn't want to tell me things like her grades, because I apparently judged her by looking surprised whenever she got below 90, but I honestly don't care about her grades the way she thinks that I do. In fact, she may be getting better grades than me.

Although, she's more comfortable telling her crush about her grades, even though he does better, and apparently "clowned" her for not meeting her expectations in the class they shared, even though it was a 1% difference. But maybe grades shouldn't matter...

For the last 2 days, my best friend and I went on a field trip for a club. Her crush wasn't able to come since he did not join the club. I took this trip as a way to finally be able hang out with her alone, since my parents never allowed me to hang out with my friends outside of school.

BUT... she was talking about her crush half of the time. She still payed attention to me while talking to him, but I still wasn't too happy. I don't know if I should be feeling this way.

Yesterday, I told her about how I am always a third-wheel when I am hanging out/calling them, but she denies it, so I told her about the one time I felt completely invisible while I was on a call with them. After, she apologizes. I don't remember if it was COMPLETELY genuine or not, but I just know that she did not take it as seriously as I wanted her to.

I think it is worth mentioning that I often tell her that she replaced me, and say it in a jokey way, but she denies it. She also unknowingly replaced me with someone else a year ago, but I never talked about it.

However, she still considers me as a close friend since we talk about our problems with each other, but I'm not her first choice. I'm always a second choice.

This situation has got me crying for a whole week straight before, so I decided to try and move on by limiting our conversations. That did not work, and I eventually went back to her.

I want to move on from her, but I don't know how. She is the only one I can talk about my personal problems with (other than this one). I understand that this is something that should be discussed with her, but I absolutely suck at confrontation.

What should I do?

I know that a lot of self improvement posts like encouraging self improvement and goal chasing, no matter the age, which is fine. But I also think the more cynical and real view is that a certain point, there are certain bridges that have burned and ships that have sailed. But that doesn’t necessarily have to be negative, it’s more so just about a balanced perspective. It’s not just about the ships that have sailed, but the ships still in your harbor.

With all that being said, what are some things that are too late to do at the age you’re at now? How about some things you can likely still do?

I think for me, off top, at the age of 27 (turning 28 later on this year)? It’s too late to have the makings of a varsity or professional athlete (but that’s fine, because it’s never had a desire for sports). It’s too late for me to have such excellent oral hygiene that I can bring back the tooth I lost. It’s too late for me to salvage certain relationships that I lost out on, especially due to my own mistakes or because too much time has passed.

On the other hand, I don’t think it’s too late to get married, to learn new marketable and lucrative skills, to start building good habits and quit bad ones, to move out of my parent’s house, to finish my degree, and to learn more about my religion as well as other interesting subjects I enjoy learning about.

Hi, are there any Muslim men in this forum that are committed to their self-development? If so, comment below on what limiting belief is holding you back.

Would love to hear from you.

I (16M) have important exams coming up, and I’m doing well and prepped, but I’m spending too much time on my damn phone! I’ve been averaging ~6 hours a day on it, and it’s eating up time I should be lifting/studying in. Any tips on how to reduce? Thanks

Hi, i don't have much Time to go to the gym, My max is 1:30m, do you guys know a good begginer routine for that Time?, My purpose Is losing weight

I (25F) is a newly graduated dentist, I’ve moved back to live with my parents in a small isolated town while looking for internship. I’ve always been shy and introverted my whole life, my family thinks I must be on the spectrum because of my lack of social skills, but I think that’s just how I am , a very awkward and clumsy person, really indifferent about people, I never managed to form a deep connection with people and throughout college I just had superficial friendships. Now I’m all alone, I live pretty far from everyone I know and there's no movement in my life. I feel so lonely sometimes and wish I had someone to ask for help because I feel despondent about my life but when I check in with those acquaintances they’re all living productive lives, achieving new milestones and it just makes me feel worse, since we all started at the same time but now they’re miles ahead of me. I seriously wish every night I go to bed i wouldn’t wake up because someone like me cannot survive in this world on their own. I don’t know where or how to start changing myself but it feels hopeless at this point

My hair is frizzy, thick, wavy, messy. My skin is rough and red. My face is bloated. My posture is bad. I look tired…. I want to look better, but I am too lazy. I can’t manage myself. I need help.