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Hi,

i just saw this briliant video: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0gks6ceq4eQ

it makes a lot of sense to me. I find myself constantly having predictions going on in my brain, so much that i ignore what my body is telling me sometimes. So watching this video was a wow moment for me, because it really opened my eye about how i tend to have bad predictions all the time. Like focusing only on the bad things, and not spending a minute on the positive ones.

I have no clinical issue, but since i changed my life from the ground up, it seems like i havent got enough experience so im constantly feeling anxious.

How do you feel about this video? Have you got any luck implementing it in your life? Thank you!

yk the guy that says really deep, philosophical, meaningful things. how can i say things like that. like when im really spaced out, i would say something really deep.

for example:

The worst feeling is when you find out you didnt mean as much to someone as you thought you did, and then you feel stupid for caring so much. i wish i didnt care about anything. but i do. i care too much. sometimes the only reason you wont let go of what's making you sad is because its the only thing that made you happy.

I am someone who feels a lot and some people call me really sensitive. I'm tired of that label because people in my life often use it to validate any sort of disrespect towards me. At this point, I'm just tired and want to stop feeling things too deeply. I want to be unaffected by things emotionally and develop a thick skin. I know it's not the healthiest thing to do but I just... I'm tired. How does one become less sensitive or turn their emotions off?

tl:dr:
How to get my sister to move to my city WITHOUT her abusive boyfriend (if only temporarily)?

The sequel to this ugly situation:

https://www.reddit.com/r/UnethicalLifeProTips/comments/1fsvlf4/ulpt_request_get_my_sister_to_break_up_with_a/

Summation: my sister lives with a REAL piece of work, and I've been trying to figure out how to leave him

Despite everything, I haven't quite worked out how to get her to break up with her abusive boyfriend. I haven't even convinced her to move out of his place, but while I can't get her to MOVE OUT, we had a conversation, and I might convince her to MOVE.
I got her to agree to a sit-down soon, where we'll discuss the "how" and "when" of her moving near where I live, from her semi-urban location to my rural one.

The tricky thing, however, is that I want to convince her to that moving without her abusive boyfriend is a good (or at least acceptable) idea.
She probably won't agree to this in the capacity of a breakup (I've never known abused women who could just be talked into leaving), but I figure if I can get at least a month or a few months of separation between the two of them, she might reevaluate her life choices, like how devoid of stress life without him would be, and perhaps make a decent decision.
Might even convince her to see a therapist. I've been told she could benefit from assertiveness training.

How? I know he has urban sensibilities (he likes to club and parkour) and there's none of those amenities out here, so that might be an angle.

https://www.reddit.com/r/Manipulation/comments/1fsm5ye/how_to_get_someone_to_dump_a_manipulative/

In the thread linked above, I asked the simple question: how to get my sister to dump a manipulative narcissist who'll only beat and hurt her if she stays in a relationship with him.

I've asked this in various circles, and I liked the answers I got (some of them, anyways) but all the good-sounding strategies rely upon one thing I don't have: a thorough understanding of the dude's personality.

Sure, I know he's a liar and an abuser who'll smack her through a wall and throw things when pissed off, but it seems the key to getting him to reveal his true colors is to have a knowledge of him I don't currently possess.

His strengths.
His weaknesses.
What he likes.
What he hates.

I need to know all of this, and more.
The long route of casual conversation isn't acceptable. I'm not going to have the occasional talk with him to glean a bit here and there, while he uses my sister as a punching bag.

So, I ask:
What are some good ways (I'm imagining personality tests) to figure these things out about someone?
I remember the vile underbelly of the internet where PUAs lie, there are tests to entertain or figure someone out quickly, but I'm not looking to date this wife-beater.

In a few days, for one hour, I'll need to have absolute, unbridled confidence. I need to fear nothing at all, even if I feel like collapsing as soon as that hour is done. I just need to be unwavering during that one hour.

Is there a way I can do this? Alcohol doesn't count.

When people say something offensive frequently in passing, it may be a lot easier to shut it down than address it. Furthermore, if people remember the initial mistake, they might be more likely to repeat it in imitation or social behavior. Therefore, I want to know how to change the narrative of something someone said, so that people don’t remember the words as they were intended by the offender.

For instance, if someone says something offensive, will less attention be brought to it if it is followed by silence or if it is followed by a lot of noise and information? Are people more likely to forget something if it is surrounded by other information, or are they more likely to forget it if it is left unanswered?

Additionally, how does the emotionality of a potential response or continuation of the conversation change people’s perception of it? Will apparent apathy enable better manipulation, or will it just lead people to believe that what was said is okay to say? Will a response like anger or sadness incentivize people to change their behavior, or will it just egg them on?

Would talking over the offender or repeating an altered version of their words be a useful strategy for changing people’s memories of the words used by the offender?

I am a chronic pain sufferer. There is no fix for my pain and I will be dealing with it the rest of my life. I am fairly young still. The doctor says that the only way to manage my pain is by taking narcotic pain relievers for the rest of my life. This is a nightmare because anyone who is on regular pain medication has to visit a pain clinic specialist by law in my state. You have to go monthly and they have to check your supplies and your urine to make sure that you are not overdosing or taking other drugs. They treat you like a criminal. That in and of itself is ridiculous! However, my main dilemma is that a dose of narcotic pain medicine starting out at a small dose may take care of my pain in the beginning but eventually I know my body will build up a tolerance to that medicine and over time the dose will have to increase more and more. Eventually I will get to the point where I'll have to change to a stronger medication and then increase that one. Once I'm hooked on this medication and I'm dependent upon it to function at some point in my life there will be no more increases or stronger medications available. Because of this I would like to avoid starting pain medication for as long as possible. What are some psychological tricks for ignoring pain or at least increasing tolerance to pain? I know there are trained military professionals who are able to do just that as well as some martial artists that are able to push away pain in times of battle when they need it most for their survival. Is there anything like that?

How to have much better reflexes and reaction times

for example.

If something falls of a table i can catch it even though i wasnt looking there originally.

Yk to be cool

or catch a ball flying towards me the second I turn around

I wanna develop my normal skills to be better.

So like

train peripheral vision a lot to be really good and look at things in detail without directly staring at them

i want to be able to focus on different conversations in a loud room

i want to be able to memorise things or be really alert (a bit like Jason bourne)

and read body language really well.

And also kinda mess with someone’s mind without them realising

and reaction times developed a lot

all for peaceful purposes obv

I work in a place where some of my coworkers are always saying offensive things (racist, ableist, sexist etc). If I reported everything, it would be a second full-time job, so I don't even bother. I need this job for the benefits and pay. It's a systemic problem within the industry I work in, so even if I did report something, it wouldn't really matter, anyway.

It seems like every morning I visualize imaginary convos with coworkers and get myself all worked up and ANGRY at the injustice/frustration of working with these people. It's to the point where I actually have started to recognize that "this is the angry portion of the morning," lol. I don't want to even think about work when I'm not there. What are some tricks to stop this? It's started to infiltrate other parts of the day, too. I hate that I am literally stressing MYSELF out about this.

I'm interested in knowing such tricks or methods which will help me understand the true nature of a person, by which I can make them reveal their true nature

Hello guys, I was diagnosed with ED (I've a mix of vigorexia and ortorexia), at the same time the working out stuff is really a struggle in my every day life. I cannot live without thinking of moving, burn calories and I always have the need of training, it's obsessing all this thought and continuously on my mind. I'm also obsessed by fact that others train or workout and I'm not, not everyone but only specific friends and family members. Please guys help me how can I tackle this?

These books broadly cover two larger areas as I see it. First set of books cover the physiological aspects of the brain and why brain works the way it does. Second set of books deal largely with how our behaviors and motivations are affected by our brains and how we can take more control of our own thoughts and feelings.

1. Brain Function and Evolution of Brain:
   1. How the Mind Works by Steven Pinker
   2. The Tell-Tale Brain by V. S. Ramachandran
   3. Synaptic Self by Joseph LeDoux
   4. Dragons of Eden by Carl Sagan
   5. The Man Who Mistook his Wife for a Hat by Oliver Sacks
   6. The Selfish Genes by Richard Dawkins
   7. Sapiens by Yuval Noah Harari
2. Understanding Behavior / Motivation/ Self -Improvement
   1. Thinking Fast and Slow by Daniel Kahneman
   2. The Art of Thinking Clearly by Rolf Dobelli
   3. Emotional Intelligence by Daniel Goleman
   4. Influence by Robert Cialdini
   5. Nudge by Richard Thaler
   6. Drive by Daniel Pink
   7. Predictable Irrational by Dan Ariely
   8. Flow by Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi

The above set of books should work as an excellent primer to get started without getting intimidated by this complexity of this field.

Would be great if more books can be added to this list. If you have any books in mind, please do comment with the names.

If something minor happens, or even if I don't get validation for who I am and my competences, I imagine this is because the person hates me and want to hurt me. Then I start spinning. It becomes obsessive. I imagine scenarios where the person is humiliating in me in public, wanting to punish me etc.

It is always someone there. I obsessed over a sibling and their partner recently, how much they hate me and disrespect me EVEN THOUGH THESE PEOPLE HAVE DONE NOTHING. I fantasise nights, I can't fall asleep. Then a switch goes on and it changes direction. It targets someone else.

It is now at the point where I prefer if it's a family member or someone close and not someone in my professional life, because that makes working hard. I am currently preparing material for a job-thing, but it so happens that the person I'm thinking about in this way is a colleague. So it makes working unpleasant. I imagine that this person believes I am fake, I am worthless, I should disappear, and actively conspire against me, is actively out to humiliate me. I know that most likely it isn't so, and I also know that even if it were so, I would not be able to read another's person mind.

One time I was hesitant to write a job application because I imagined my future boss thought about me in this way. He did not and I ended up getting the job, which was the best I ever had. So then my belief was falsified.

It is worse when the object of obsession is a woman than a man. If it is a man, I usually feel hate and contempt in return. If it is a woman, I will not hate her in return, but I instead become completely neurotic. I just want approval and love. I am myself a woman. Maybe this is projection and "mommy issues". It has come to the point where I prefer if it is a man because then it is not so all-consuming.

The object has just switched from a man to a woman so I write this post.

It‘s not really a productivity problem. I can do everything I need to do, except studying. I procrastinate until the very last minute and I have been failing for quite some time, but that didn’t give me a lesson. What can I do?

Sorry if this doesn't go here. Since I was a child I would 'punish' myself, especially when I was having a meltdown over failing/feeling stupid. As I got older, I did it less and less, but if something really bad or upsetting happened that had to do with feeling stupid, I would still hit my own head. A couple hours ago, I got an email that basically said I won't be getting my Bachelor's this year (finally after nine years of struggles both within and outside of my studies), because there is a problem with the amount of points I have between electives and obligatory courses. I want to die. I am going completely insane, hitting my head, slamming it into my closet, and cutting my arm. I feel I have to. All this... anger and frustration and sadness and shame, they have to go somewhere. It helps calm me down temporarily, and for now I can sit and breathe and type this, but I know this won't be the end of it. What trick is there that I can use besides hurting myself to bring me back to some sort of self control.

I feel like I'm always non deserving and I let other people pass by and I always feel as if I'm sitting in a bench watching life go by. Seen so many people successed and found their potential. I don't even know why I'm sitting in life like a frozen statue. I'm sick of it. Why is it so hard for me to take actions. I don't understand

I fucked up. I lost my best friends because I had a psychotic breakdown and blocked all of them, and when they contacted me in worry, I scolded all of them, and now they're pissed at me.

I realize I fucked up. This is my fault. I was terrible to them, and now I have a reputation of being manipulative. I don't expect them to forgive me, all I want is for them to realize that I know I'm the problem.

How can I communicate that?

Whenever I argue with my dad, he changes the subject either because he's stupid or because he's trying to manipulate me. In fact, I win the argument on every issue, I explain his mistakes, but he either says that he is not that kind of person, that he has never done such a thing before, or he changes the subject to a mistake I made a long time ago. He always starts the argument by shouting and insulting us. Even though I answer calmly, after a while I always start crying. I don't know what makes me cry, I know I shouldn't do this but I can't hold myself back. When I try to calm myself down, he always asks questions, and if I don't answer him, he says, "Why don't you answer? Don't I always yell at you just because you don't talk to me?" he shouts, and if I answer, I continue to cry. How can I control myself? How can I win against him?

I made a list of yearly goals, and most of them are large enough to breakdown into milestones / smaller goals.

I've been laying out 5 or so goals each month that ladder up into the yearly goals.

I've been thinking of gamifying my goal completion a bit by "rewarding myself" each month depending on how I do.

For example - 3/5 goals = reward 1, 5/5 goals = reward 2

But I'm not sure what the rewards should be?

Hello everyone. I recently told a friend that I had feelings for her and she just had platonic feelings . Cool, rejection happens, but man I feel such a strong inferiority complex. I wasn’t even in love with her, heck I was somewhat still a little unsure if I really liked her, but after the rejection I felt so inferior.

I can’t help but feel she is better than me, even though I rationally don’t think so at all. Even when I think of something related to her, I get this feeling that says “this belongs to her a lot more than it belongs to you”. I had this with my previous crush as well. We both liked marvel movies, Im a fan of superheroes since I was a child, but I couldn’t watch a superhero movie without feeling that she’s (strangely) more worthy of it. It sounds super silly and I’m battling it with rational and positive thoughts, but I sometimes still can’t shake the feeling. Any help? 🥴😅

As in the tactic

Technically, I (42f) have ptsd from doing cpr and watching my husband die right in front of me and the images and sound of the paramedics working on him once they got there after about 10 minutes.
The last few days my flashbacks have not been of that as that like usual. I’ve been reading some of my favorite books again recently. I read one that, well, filled my head with memories. For 4 days now I can’t get them to stop. They play over and over like movies stuck on replay. Most of them are very good. For the first time in a year and a half, I was filled with contentment and maybe even happiness. Made me feel, made my heartbreak not so painful. But, starting yesterday, they fill me with heartbreak and sadness.
I’ve tried everything I can think of to get them to stop, but I can’t. I’m constantly on the verge of tears. I randomly can’t function like I’m in a trance just watching them. Wondering what they mean, what I could have changed.
I need more ideas on how to get a handle on this. I fear if I can’t, it will only get worse.

My brother, in his mid-40s, was diagnosed with executive function disorder. I would like to help his family, but I am unsure about what I could do (asked them, but they’re not sure either).

He has 2 kids between 7-10 years old. His wife is completely at a loss with all of this ( he is now in the hospital because of a heart problem). He might lose his job, his finances are really bad and they’ve been slowly isolating themselves from the rest of the family.

I suggested that I bring or make a meal once a week, or take care of the kids while they rest or tackle some financial stuff.

Anyone has any other ideas of what I could do or not do to help?

It would be nice to have the input of someone who has this disorder, or someone who knows or live with a person with this disorder, but any suggestions are welcome.

Many thanks.

As title says, I get really really stressed about it and it’s on my mind all the time and I can’t seem to get it off. My girlfriend is super patient and really loving but I constantly feel like she wants to break up or cheat even though there is no reason to think it and sometimes I mention it and over the years it’s added up and although she is extremely patient she is slowly getting pissed off by it, so please can you try and help me because i dont know what to do? Thanks a lot.

For example, it could be a harsh encounter with a stranger, an inflammatory post online, or the like.