Listen here

I've been up and down on a bit of a rollercoaster the past week or so. I've been seeing a lot of weird wifi networks like "FBI Surveillance Network" and "FBI surveillance van (alphanumeric sequence) undrcvr." Intellectually I know any fool can name their wifi whatever and there are some weird ones out there. If I WAS actually being surveilled by the FBI, I'm guessing they wouldn't announce themselves with publicly visible obviously named networks, but as we all know, anxiety isn't exactly rational. Things had been going so well recently and at the moment I feel like crap. Just saw one of these networks when I was out getting coffee with a friend and got a massive adrenaline spike like being hit by a lightning bolt, and my body still aches.

I (M19) had a severe depression for about 2,5 years with beïng sudicidal for 3 months and almost got admitted to a mental institution. After a year of therapy and medicin for this I felt good enough to stop treatment. Now, about 7 months after my last appointment with my therapist I am starting to reguarly feel depressed again. I've had days where I was happy and days where I was sad and I think it is just a part of life everyone has to deal with and full recovery is still far away. My question is how do I move on? I became depressed because of multiple reasons but one of the major one's was bordom. I have learned how to deal with feelings yet I dont know how to "entertain" myself. Slowly my good, fun and interesting days are turning into days with bordom and lack of fun. I lack the social contact but I am clueless as to how I make new friends. On top of finding friends I have trouble keeping them, most people just simply don't fit me even if I genuinly try.

sorry for the bad spelling/grammar. english is not my native laguage.

I’ve lived in NYC for over 6 years now because I wanted to follow my dreams. I came from the west coast and didn’t know a single person in the city or anywhere near. It’s been hard and exhausting and wonderful at the same time but when I have family visit or when I visit them, it’s getting harder and harder to say goodbye.

My dad is in Nevada, my mom’s in Mexico, my brother who doesn’t talk to any of us now is still in the west coast. We’re all separated and if I’m lucky I get to see my mom and dad once a year (rarely twice).

The last two times we’ve parted it’s become more difficult to say goodbye to the point where we’re all holding back tears. I thought it would get easier over time but it doesn’t.

I have wonderful amazing friends in NY now but nothing can replace family. I was lucky enough to spend the holidays with a visit from my dad but we just parted ways at JFK and I spent the train ride home, devastated.

Sometimes I wonder if I should move where he is just because this doesn’t get any easier. I have no desire to live in Nevada but there’s also a part of me that wonders if I’m wasting precious time I could be having with them.

I’m here in NYC to accomplish my dreams but sometimes it doesn’t feel worth it.

It makes me sad when good characters die like leia and Kylo ren in Star Wars. I also hate it when they die I dnd campaigns

I tried to buy a ps4 OB craigslist bit I got scammed so yeah things are greatb

Hello r/goodbyedepression,

This is not my first rodeo with depression subreddits as I have had multiple breakdowns on r/depression but I am tired of that life and want more from myself.

I was diagnosed with severe MDD about a year ago and since then my life has been in complete disarray featuring multiple suicide attempts and even a hospital stay for suicide ideation back in Septemeber. Since my visit there and changes in my medication I have not been suicidal but besides that my life has not gotten much better. I have been at community college studying for pre-med and have managed to get 3 A's and a B this past semester but since the classes are so easy for me it doesn't feel like much of an accomplishment. I often found myself still laying in bed watching Youtube endlessly not pursuing any physical or mental pursuits I have. On top of this, my cousin suggested that I start smoking weed to keep myself balanced and less anxious which has worked somewhat but I am still not accomplishing any of the goals I have for myself. How can I learn how to play guitar, read more, go to the gym and lose weight, become vegan, and eventually start my blog when I can't stop laying in bed being lazy. What do I have to do to get motivated and get my life back on track and better myself?

You all cane down on me yesterday like the teenagers you are you’re all bullies and I have no paytience for bullies I dealt with enough in high school which is how old you all are you don’t know anything about being an adult and real life, I do, I was beaten like a negro as a child by my gramma so I know what pain is

Long story short you guys are assholes I’m finding friends elsewhere you’ll neber join my dnd game

Hey guys Ive been deiress lately. My gf and I are in a rough patch because she says she’s too busy for me but still spends a lot of time doing webcam shows so it’s like you fucking bitch pic your priorities or I’ll beat you, not that I would cuz she’s my gf abd we’re long distance so I couldn’t but even if I could I wouldn’t.

Also my online pet business isn’t doing too well. I had a whole box of turtles die on me cuz the fedex guy left the package outside overnight and they all froze to death. I had to break them apart in the kitchen sink and that pissef my grandma off cuz she’ll parts kept flying around the kitchen so she verbally abused me

But yeah akso I want a new ps4 for Christmas but my mom said she wouldn’t get it so I’ll hsve to do it myself thankfully I work at Best Buy

I feel like my whole life is meaningless that all I can do is poss people off and none of my relationships last longer than 2 months and it is starting to weigh on me and I feel like suicide is the only real wander please someone help

I'm super glad to say I no longer feel depressed. But I now just have this habit of filling up my life with busy things that I don't have to use my brain much for cos I know that stops me feeling bad. When I don't do that, I don't feel ever as bad as I did when I was depressed. But just very restless. I find it pretty hard to sit down and do things that require me to actually focus by myself. If I'm by myself I'm always doing 100 things and switching between them. But mostly I fill up my time with way too many pointless social engagements and chatting to random people and going to class and work and focusing on it just enough to get by. I don't really know how to stop distracting myself for long enough to get anything worthwhile I care about done. Maybe for a week or 2 I'll be great at it and really disciplined and productive... At least for schoolwork I should actually be doing anyway as a bare minimum but usually am not. For things I actually want to do I just never spend the time to do it, unless it's something that involves me physically leaving my house and going somewhere - cos I can never stay in my house even for a single day any more since I was depressed. I cant even commit to TV shows lol. I've always been sorta noncommittal with things I do but it's gotten so much worse to the point where I can't decide on anything to do even second to second and I literally don't ever touch anything I feel like id sorta like to do.

I dunno any advice?

A friend told me noticed the other day that I was upset. I've been in the crying part of depression for around two weeks now and I have been trying my best to hide it. She made me explain what was wrong, and I said I was stressed, and when pressed further I admitted to her that I was feeling worthless and unlovable. She gave me a hug and told me that if I was unloved, no one would care about me if I told them how I felt.

So today I was open. Friends and classmates saw the sadness and asked if I was okay. I told them I was not, but not to worry, and each person I talked to immediately asked how to help or what I needed. One friend walked with me to start counseling as I was too afraid to go myself. While the back of my head tells me that I'm worthless, I've seen genuine empathy and care from people. Not only people I am friends with, but people I've barely spoken to cared.

It's not too late, guys

People care

You just can't see it right now.

I know this makes no sense, but then again, depression really doesn't. But I'm finding I feel low grade guilty for doing well and kind of wish I was depressed again. What the hell?

Hello everyone! We (Future Thinkers) are unveiling our first course, designed to be a full-system mental upgrade. Our course in personal evolution is [rolling out now](https://courses.futurethinkers.org/a-course-in-personal-evolution/], and your thoughts/opinions would be amazing during our early testing cohort. :)

I've been more conscious of my internet habits lately, and I can't help but wonder if my internet/smartphone habits aren't making my depression worse. A lot of stuff I watch on YouTube is from spirituality and mental health channels, which are helpful, but at the same time, it can easily turn into a distraction, trigger for sliding down into the muck, etc.

I've had some degree of depression since high school. Over the years I've mostly gone the "medication and counseling" route, but over the last couple months I've found the following absolutely life changing. I'm not a medical professional, so think of this as just one rando sharing his experience and consult with your doctor before making any changes:

-Meds: I found a combo of psychiatric drugs that work for me and seem to have minimal side-effects. Would I like to ween off them at some point, maybe even soon, definitely, but I'm not averse to using traditional meds. For me, getting stable on traditional western psychiatric medication was absolutely critical to being able to do any of the rest of this.

-Supplements: 2000iu dose of vitamin D daily. Vitamin B Complex, not sure what the exact dosage is, but its just the vitacost.com store brand (not a paid endorsement). Fish Oil capsules (these are verging on horsepills size-wise, so would LOVE a recommendation for a good fish oil supplement that doesn't necessitate swallowing two massive pills).

-Physical Activity/getting outside: I started out with 10k steps a day, and am slowly increasing. my current goal is 12k, but I hit significantly more than that a few days a week. I also do yoga, sun salutations in the morning and afternoon, plus some relaxing yoga in the evening before bed focusing on destressing and an easy inversion. On good days I'll walk to a park or hang out on the swing on the back deck and hang out/read/nap.

-Meditation: I've had some type of meditation practice off and on since high school, and I swear its made a difference. Currently its a more devotional style, but I do use the breath as a focus as well. I practice based on the teachings of Patanjali's Yoga Sutras, not Buddhism, so its a bit different than the practice thats being popularized in the wider culture at the moment. Its had a major influence on my relationship with my mind though.

-Digital Minimalism: This is the one I'm focusing on at the moment and honestly struggling a bit with, but I've been severely limiting laptop use, turned my iPhone grayscale and deleted all apps except messaging, phone, audible/podcasts, maps/moovit for public transit stuff. I have YT/social media blocked on my computer most of the time and don't have either installed on my phone. This has helped sleep and mood both.

-Sleep: Go to bed early, get up early seven days a week, have a set morning/evening routine involving bathing, Sun Salutations, meditation, study of a spiritual text in the morning, and reading/study of spiritual text, journaling, yoga & meditation, and listening to an audiobook podcast as I fall asleep (that last bit is something I've been working on cutting out).

​

I HIGHLY recommend checking out Spontaneous Happiness by Dr Andrew Weil.

​

Hopefully this is helpful to others, its certainly been life-changing for me.

Hi everyone, I'm currently working on a mood tracker that takes as little effort as possible... something I myself would find accessible when I'm struggling. I'd love people's feedback!
Here's the link to the interactive prototype:

https://xd.adobe.com/view/86904381-7859-4867-47a0-4f21a1d16c8b-f0a1/?fullscreen

I'm 25 years years old. I've achieved nothing since the age of 18. Everything has gone downhl since then and continues to go downhill. Every year I lose hope more and more and I get closer and closer to just giving up.

I dropped out of university after the first year because of crippling depression. I'm now enrolled in a part time course but even with this in struggling to find the motivation to study.

My physical health isn't better, my teeth are almost all ruined because of my sugar addiction and smoking. I've been in excruciating pain for 3 years and I'm too chicken to go see a dentist. I barely eat and have a bmi of 16. I hate how I look in the mirror and have zero self confidence.

I have pushed all my friends away apart from one and the loneliness is unbearable.

I don't see a way out. I take medication but can't afford therapy. I feel like my mental health will continue to get worse with age and there's nothing I can do about it.

I have a method written up dealing for overwhelming feelings that I figured could help some people here.

I just got this email from a local meditation center called Insight LA. I'm posting it here in case anyone might be interested in attending or learning more.

The subject of the email was "MBCT can be as effective as prescription drugs"

I’d like to warmly invite you to join me for Mindfulness-Based Cognitive Therapy at InsightLA East Hollywood beginning Tuesday January 8th.

One of the most insidious things about depression and anxiety is that it colors reality. We think things are bleak therefor they are bleak, but thoughts are not facts. Thoughts are simply thoughts. In Mindfulness-based Cognitive Therapy, we learn that thoughts are merely thoughts and from that point, we get to choose the reality we live by and whether we're happy.

Over the years, I’ve taught many students these simple, research-backed tools and have joyfully watched as their lives improved, just as mine did. I hope you’ll join them!

With warmth, Michael Stroud

MBCT (Mindfulness-Based Cognitive Therapy) is based on the MBSR program developed by Jon Kabat-Zinn. The MBCT program is designed specifically for people who suffer from depressed mood and was created to help prevent relapse into depression. In this program, you'll learn how to use different skills: cognitive therapy can teach you how to be aware of distortions in thinking, and mindfulness can teach you how to ground into the present moment and see your thought and feelings as simply mental events in the mind that come and go. Rather than trying to change or eliminate difficult mental experiences, MBCT teaches you how to develop a whole different understanding of and relationship to your thoughts, feelings, and bodily sensations.

The MBCT course consists of eight weekly 2 hour classes, and a daylong meditation retreat. Sessions consist generally of guided mindfulness meditation, in-class exercises, gentle yoga, and discussion. There are also practices and homework assignments that participants complete during the days between sessions. The structure of MBCT requires strong commitment to doing the homework, but the rewards can be lasting.

The latest research proves that MBCT can be as effective as prescription drugs in preventing relapse, and more effective in enhancing your quality of life. The study also showed MBCT to help people with a history of depression stay well in the longer term.

MINDFULNESS-BASED COGNITIVE THERAPY FOR DEPRESSION MICHAEL STROUD JANUARY 8TH - FEBRUARY 26TH 8 TUESDAY EVENINGS 7:15 PM - 9:45 PM INSIGHTLA EAST HOLLYWOOD

Registration link: https://insightla.org/Calendar/Event-Calendar/EventId/767/e/mindfulness-based-cognitive-therapy-mbct-for-depression-8-jan-2019?utm_content=InsightLA&utm_campaign=InsightLA&utm_source=SendGrid&utm_term=Newsletter&utm_medium=Email

Financial support or work exchange opportunities may be available for this program. There is special funding allocated to People of Color (POC), Queer people, folks with serious medical conditions, and young adults (age 18-24). Funding is offered on a first-come, first-serve basis. Financial support is budgeted per class, retreat or event and because of high demand, can run out quickly. For more information, please contact: financialsupport@insightla.org

We're especially looking for more people to join our voluntary support team and help out on the server by talking to the wonderful people who need a bit of a pick me up.

Angel's Wings Support is a Discord server dedicated to helping anyone who may need a little bit of help. We help people with their emotional problems, mental health problems, and even help them learn to do simple things like cook and checking. We're a peer-support server, meaning that you can help people too, and we'll return the favor. We're a server for anyone who may need us. We'll help everyone to the best of our ability. We focus on our support system, and our community. We cater to all ages, and all diagnoses, and those that are non-diagnosed. Our staff team is active, and enforce the rules to keep everyone safe. We hope you come and join We're here for you: to teach you, and to help you.

❤🌸We have:🌸❤

● a friendly, welcoming, and accepting community

● Lifetime support-- those who can help you learn how to do activities that your parents should be teaching you(and may not be able to).

● Mental and physical health support. We'll help you through that break up or that depression.

● active staff members

● active support staff

● helping channels and channels that you can share your art in, talk to others in, and voice chat in.

● rules that keep the community safe

● we have a place where you can get feedback on your writing and artwork.

Come one, come all. Join us if you need support, or a friendly community to become apart of.

Invitation Link: https://discord.gg/KgE4UCc

We also have a subreddit for those who can't get on the Discord server. The subreddit serves the same purpose. r/Angelswingssupport

DISCLAIMER: We are not medical professionals. Our support team members are volunteers. People who claim to be medical professionals are not vetted by the staff. We are also not professional chefs, tech supports, etc. We're just people hoping to help other people.

Mods: I didn't see anything against this anywhere, so I hope it's okay. feel free to remove it if it's not, just trying to help some people ^.^

I've had allergies for a while, and have been taking over the counter antihistamines for a couple months. A few days ago I read a Dr Weil article about allergy meds interfering with anti-depressants, especially SSRIs. Since I started taking the antihistamines it felt like I was sloshing through the shallows of depression. I'd slip into the depths for a day or a couple every once in a while, but most of the time it was still there in the background. A couple days after I stopped taking the allergy meds and the stuff had worked its way out of my system, my allergy symptoms were back, but that underlying depression was gone completely, and I'd call that a win. I'll take a tickle in my throat, post-nasal-drip, etc, over a constant depressive buzz any day. If anyone is interested, I'll see if I can find the article again and post it.

I've been delaying/not bothering to schedule my yearly physical, and I'm not quite sure why, but one thing I've been thinking about doing is talking to my doc about transitioning off my meds. The more I learn about how we don't know much/anything about the long term effects of being on these drugs for years, or even if they really work, the more I don't like ingesting this garbage, and taking them (Citalopram & Bupropion) reinforces an identity as a broken, depressed person, which doesn't feel like who I am or want to be. its been something like almost a decade that I've been on the current drug regimen.

Near as I can tell, my depression is inherited/genetic. My grandmother was clinically depressed, my dad self-medicated for depression, and my brother is depressed, and it originally hit me back in high school, when I tried to commit suicide by taking pills. At the same time, I wasn't very active, spent a lot of time in front of screens, ate a decent diet, usually got around six hours of sleep, and felt like I was drifting. Living alone and self-isolating for a while after graduating from college probably didn't help either. That said, I'm doing yoga and walking in local parks basically every day, being more intentional with and limiting screen time, regulating my sleep (go to bed between nine and ten, wake up between five and six), and working on cleaning up my diet (quitting sugar and coffee. I'd also like to cut meat & carbs, but am meeting resistance from family).

Anyway, calling to schedule a physical with my Dr is on my to do list today, and I'm curious: what should I ask him about/ be sure to tell him that I might not think of? Any other suggestions would be great.

You'd think that being in the military would mean that I've got steely self discipline. But I don't. In fact, the military killed my resolve.. it broke me, mentally. Most days I fuck around and do nothing. I sleep ten or so hours each night because I crave the passage of time. I used to sleep 5hours a night because I was so motivated. I feel so anxious now.. to the point that I can't control my breathing whenever I think about working on my Master's thesis or about having to move states in a few months or about having to wake up for anything at all, including feeding my dog.

It used to be that my depression was only an internal thing; from any other viewpoint, I am pretty darn successful and beyond most of my peers economically, etc.. being a military officer does that. But I feel so broken inside. Everything I do is just to avoid the pain of having to do anything actually painful. I used to work past it... but nothing feels worth it anymore. Relationships too.. I go through boys like a can of Pringles. None seem worth the seemingly inevitable heartache that will come later down the line. I'm thinking of rebreaking up with my current guy right now, he did say he didn't want to continue dating once we move away 5 months from now. Is there a point to even try a casual relationship now?

I feel like Dorian Gray's portrait.. just getting uglier and uglier with every day that I don't reach the goals I used to have for myself. I hate myself. I imagine putting a knife through my own eye socket five times a day. I don't want to think about the failure of academia, even though "grad school is hard for everyone," said the counselor I talked to. My only reprieves are nighttime when I get to escape into a book or tv or working out until I get to sleep. I can't even sleep right now, despite the 11-7 schedule I've kept for weeks now. I can barely even enjoy my distractions anymore.

Does this get better? Is it only because of my station in life, like too young to appreciate or too egotistic to see past my own uselessness? I can't sleep right now. I need help. I can't do this alone. I feel so alone. I feel myself getting to the point of numb

--peace

32/m, I've been on meds for a year plus now, and I'm stable, but I also feel like I've stagnated. I know there are things I could do to help myself, I have set wake up and bed times, as well as a morning routine, working on establishing an evening routine, started letting myself get more sleep and I've been getting 6-8 hours the last couple weeks. I've played around with letting myself wake up naturally, and sometimes I do around five, which is great, but if I sleep in I feel like the day is shot and my motivation goes out the window. I do some yoga and walk in the park most days, but my social life is on life support. I've got a friend I've known since we were toddlers that I have coffee with once a week. I vid chat with my best friend from childhood once or twice a week, but that's basically the extent of my offline social interaction, other than cashiers, baristas, etc. I'm my best friend's son's godfather and I feel like I need to get my shit together for that little boy if not myself, but I'm kind of lost. Am I being too hard on myself? Any advice?

Today I went to see a friend. A specific friend whom I love. And, while at first things were good and all, later it got...uhh...heavy. She told me, that there's a small chance (don't ask please), but I'll need to: Find help for my mental state, work on my diet and then work on my physical health. Then again- talking about all of this doesn't give me a "chill vibe" but I got along with it...only to realize, that half of the night (it's morning now) I cried, and the other I was mad at myself. And on top of that I had several other friends who recommended that I seek help, but all I do is just destroy myself mentally even more. So uhhh...I would want to know a way to deal with this stuff...at least until I find professional help (I have a hard time finding). I'd really appreciate it. Like seriously. I just feel freaking awful to the point of crying, and there aren't a lot of places where I can write about it...

I feel so goddamn relieved. I struggled with depression for so long, cycling back into it every few weeks. It was awful. Then I found the right med combo and within a few weeks the depression had been completely annihilated.

Granted, some really bad arguably more dangerous mental health things have wrought havoc on me since then but hey the depression is gone! Now I just have mania and psychosis to deal with, the latter becoming increasingly worse but I still have insight so I might be okay.

I'm not saying meds are the only way out, but they sure as hell can help give you the leg up. In addition to the Rexulti, I had been making sure I had routine and hobbies to occupy the time and that really freaking helped a LOT. It can be done!

Im having a rough time staying focused on anything today, so I thought making a playlist would help cheer me up (and maybe you guys as well.)