Hi Everyone! Join us on Mon, February 10 from 7p-12a. We’re on the Lower East Side of Manhattan. 21+, free. Private.

To RSVP, please send your name, vaxx card (buffed out identifying info ok) to polychrissy@gmail.com and take a rapid antigen test at home before arrival. We will confirm!

Cupcakes and cheer at 9:15pm. Bring snacks to share! (No drinks please.)

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For those who have never been, we’re an 18-year-old monthly social of over a hundred attendees who are between the ages of 21 and 87 with the majority in their mid-20s-mid 50s. We’re nerdy mutual aid enthusiasts who meet in a non-cruising space in community and solidarity.

There’s a cash bar for reasonably priced boozy and non boozy drinks, and people often bring snacks to share.

Questions? Reach out! Hope to see you soon!

Hi, I’m new to this subreddit so just wanted to post to say hi.

I’m in a polyamorous relationship (FFMM) originally my girlfriend and I were together but not long into our relationship we decided to have someone else join so it became a throuple, and only recently it changed again as another person joined our relationship.

Because my partners and I aren’t very old, I’m only 19, my partners and I live together but with my Mum. She’s super supportive of my lifestyle and relationship so she’s happy living with me and my partners ☺️

And when I’m older we plan on having kids and raising a family together in our polyamorous relationship. I’m really excited to be a Mum, and I think it’ll be good for my future kids to see and learn about polyamorous relationships from me and my partners ☺️

How did starting a family impact your other relationships?

If you’ve started a family, I’d love to hear your experiences. How did having kids impact your dynamics with your other partners? Were there challenges or changes that you didn’t anticipate? How did you navigate those changes?

I’m especially interested in any ways that your relationships were affected in ways you couldn’t have predicted or prepared for.

We (MMFF) are celebrating our anniversary this weekend. It's hard to believe that on Monday we start our fourth year as a committed live-in family with children! Many good times but also many struggles. Wouldn't change a second of it!

This is not your usual podcast advertisement post. We don't just want you to listen to our podcast, we want you to be on it!

Spilling The Tea on Non-Monogamy is a new, UK based podcast where we are talking to a different person each episode about their own stories, thoughts and ideas about how they practice non-monogamy.

We want to talk to people from all side of the non-monogamy spectrum. Those who identify as non-monogamous, polyamorous, swingers, people in triads or polycules, people who identify as hotwives, stags and vixens, kinky play partners and anything and everything in between!

The idea behind this podcast is to talk to as many people as we can to bring together a wide range of stories, thoughts and ideologies all in to one place, where anyone who is interested in non-monogamy can listen along and get first hand information directly from the mouths of people who are already living it.

As this is a subject that a lot of people would rather keep private, we have decided to do this podcast as audio only with no video component so you won't have to worry about anyone recognising you, and we are more than happy for our guests to use pseudonyms so as not to give away their real names.

If you are interested in being a guest on the podcast. please send an email to Spillingtheteapodcast@outlook.com with the subject I would like to be a guest! and leave us a message with a brief description of yourself along with the name you would like to go by as well as pronouns if you wish to and let us know where in the world you are so we can work out the best time to record with you based on timezones.

We are yet to launch the podcast because we want to record a good amount of episodes first, but rest assured, our guests will be the first to know when their episodes will be going live and we will be sure to advertise the launch of the podcast when we are ready.

We look forward to hearing from you all!

I've recently heard of Grandparents Rights. My partner and I are considering trying for children in the next few years. My parents are a non-issue for us. My partners parents however are filled with cult-like religious zeal and vehemently disagree with our queer/poly lifestyle, and have openly said how they believe it is not a healthy or psychologically safe environment for children. My partner and I discussed that in the event we fall pregnant, we may not disclose it to their parents until after the birth, if at all, since they are still determining where they want their boundaries to be. Since learning about Grandparents Rights, I fear they may try to legally force visitation and even go as far as demanding custody because of our lifestyle should they find out. All that said, Has anyone encountered or heard issues like this, where custody / safety has been challenged with poly lifestyle being the focus? Thanks.

We are a hard working professional couple who have been together 20 years, and married ten - we have no children and I am looking at the whole triad relationships and how these work.

Ive seen a lot of posts that a lot of these three way relationships where kids are involved, but as we don’t id like to find out more about this way of Living.

Im assuming the following:

• Nothing changes within our house, just have another one of us living here (maybe need a larger bed!)
• Do hobbies together? And spend most free time together??
• we own our house, assume we wouldn’t need to change this to meet the three of us, this would be a possible thing after many years?
• share friendship groups?
• always doing things as a three that we all equally enjoy

So many questions But I’m currently at the exploratory part of the whole thing!

While I've been poly for quite a long time, I'm newly a father and getting a chance to navigate completely new challenges! 𝐈'𝐦 𝐩𝐫𝐢𝐦𝐚𝐫𝐢𝐥𝐲 𝐢𝐧𝐭𝐞𝐫𝐞𝐬𝐭𝐞𝐝 𝐢𝐧 𝐡𝐞𝐚𝐫𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐟𝐫𝐨𝐦 𝐨𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐫𝐬 𝐢𝐧 𝐡𝐨𝐰 𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐲'𝐯𝐞 𝐧𝐚𝐯𝐢𝐠𝐚𝐭𝐞𝐝 𝐧𝐨𝐭 𝐡𝐚𝐯𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐢𝐫 𝐲𝐨𝐮𝐧𝐠 𝐜𝐡𝐢𝐥𝐝𝐫𝐞𝐧 𝐚𝐜𝐜𝐢𝐝𝐞𝐧𝐭𝐚𝐥𝐥𝐲 𝐨𝐮𝐭 𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐦 𝐭𝐨 𝐩𝐞𝐨𝐩𝐥𝐞 𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐲'𝐯𝐞 𝐝𝐞𝐜𝐢𝐝𝐞𝐝 𝐭𝐨 𝐧𝐨𝐭 𝐜𝐨𝐦𝐞 𝐨𝐮𝐭 𝐭𝐨.

I'm interested in how people navigate this in a wide variety of contexts (privacy with a landlord, workplace, school, etc.), however my own context is privacy with my daughter's grandparents. It's very important to me to live my values/principals out to my daughter (including poly) rather than hide it until they are older, however I have concerns regarding what she might innocently say that could seriously challenge these family relationships.

I've never experienced this but I've seen it being mentioned a few times and I've have been curious. Has anyone ever date their partner's best friend or their best friend's partner? And actually get into a long term relationship like getting married, moving in, having kids with that person? If so, what's your story?

Hello! I am a NB queer social researcher at Bath University doing affirmative research into how queer community practice family: https://app.onlinesurveys.jisc.ac.uk/s/bathreg/lgbtq-survey

The survey aims to describe the diverse ways LGBTQ+ people form and practice family and to help improve these families' experiences of health and social care services, particularly around end-of-life.

The survey takes about 15 mins and details of participation and consent are available through the link. The study has full ethical approval and results will be accessible, the researcher's details are: Polly (they/them) email: pem40@bath.ac.uk

Anyone in a MFM V who all live together? What kind of arrangements do you have when it coming to financials, quality time, sleeping arrangements? What kind of rules or boundaries do you have for PDA, physical intimacy, etc?

I'm hoping in the year 2025 I could find a polycule. I debate if I should get involved in one that's established or get an anchor partner first. I'm a little scared to do this again without an anchor. I was in a ffm triad and it was a happy time in my life. I miss the couple I was with so much. But things didn't work out. I wish I could find something like that relationship... before it went bad. Bc prior to that time, I felt so at home with them. I really hope I can find love like that again... But this time I hope it leads to a life long partnership

Trying to find it via live events and lifestyle meetups

Dear community,

I’ve been with my husband for 15 years, we have two young kids, and I’ve been with my amazing girlfriend for one year. I’m fairly new to poly, but so far both me and my partners have been doing “the work”, and I feel very happy where we’re at, how we communicate, and how we work together to make sure everyone is respected and everyone’s needs are met. My girlfriend lives far away, but we’re figuring out ways she can spend more time close to where I live.

I am very committed to both partners, and I truly believe that I can nurture long term relationships with both of them, but I keep getting questioned and put down by family and friends who just don’t get it.

“You’re a mother, there’s no way you can maintain two romantic relationships”, “you’re going to confuse the kids”, “you’re being selfish”, “isn’t this all too much?”, “isn’t your husband enough for you?”…

These are just examples of things I hear, and although I feel quite confident, it’s hard not to be shaken by these words which come from people I love.

I would love to hear success stories of folks who have maintained healthy long term relationships with multiple partners, and also of poly folks with kids or who have partners with kids. There’s no poly community where I am, so I feel quite isolated and misunderstood.

Thanks for your help

I've just been observing or I perceive an attitude towards people have children as being less desirable to date in the poly community.

I'm curious if anyone else has similar experiences.

Thanks!

Fifth together and first at the house my boyfriend just bought in the UK, having moved from the US to be closer to the two of us here. (We also applied to move the other way, but he beat us to it, so here we are. It's so nice not having to fly across the ocean all the time anymore to be together!)

Anyway, hope you're all having a wonderful Christmas! 😊

Recently, a younger friend of ours, who we have over to watch Survivor every week, asked what my poly partners do for me that makes me feel loved. She was very heartfelt and a bit vulnerable when she asked, so I told her that I was pretty bad at making my partners feel loved earlier in my relationships. I kept giving them what I wanted, which was rarely received. So I had to learn to look and listen for what my partners wanted and then give them that - even if it did nothing for me. I followed by telling her many things that my polycule does that make me feel happy and loved, but I'm wondering what other things people do or receive make them feel the most cared for. So what does your poly do that makes you all gooey in your core?

Im new on Reddit and hoping to get some insight. I’m looking for any MFM V out there and I was wondering if anyone has this dynamic? Most of the time I see FFM and I don’t see much about MFM.

Okay so me (M21) and my Fiancée (F20) are talking about having a poly relationship with our close friend (M21). She’s been in a mid-term poly relationship (2 years) before and knows people that had similar doubts and worries, but ended up enjoying the lifestyle and have continued long-term relationships. She and our friend had a relationship in the past and are now friends but he’s realized that he still loves her. He has had a similar relationship before and they talked about it briefly before bringing the idea to me. She has talked about boundaries they want to put in place to help me ease into, and she’s made sure that I know that I am her first priority and is willing to end it if I’m not comfortable with it. He is also willing to respect my decision and just continue being friends with us if I decide not to. However, I am a bit anxious about it because I have never done anything like it and I don’t want to accidentally make things weird between us and lose them both. I tend to overthink a lot of things even to the smallest detail, and don’t want to end up getting jealous and ruining it because I didn’t communicate. I want to give it a try but I need more information. I have done a some research already and my fiancée has explained it to me as well but I just keep finding my self getting anxious, but I do want to try. I just want more advice from people who have done it before.

Question for the community: when do you come out to parents, kids, friends?

I have 4 kids, ranging from 11 to 17. My parents are my husband's as my own have both passed.

Should I tell my church family?

Your wisdom on the matter is valuable. Thanks everyone!

Hi everyone!

I am working on my master’s thesis about intersectionality in polyamorous relationships. My research focuses on the stigmatization of polyamory, its impact on relationships and well-being and how intersectional identities shape these experiences.

I am a poly and queer psychology student. Including intersectional perspectives in psychology and research around polyamory is really important to me, and I’d be so grateful if you could participate and share your experiences!

What to expect?

If you consider participating, are in polyamorous relationships and are at least 18 years old, there will be an completely anonymous online survey with open-ended questions. The questions will focus on your personal experiences of stigma regarding your polyamorous relationships and (intersectional) identities.

You can take the survey in English, in German, and also in an audio-version.

It takes about 30 minutes (you decide which and how many questions you want to answer and how long your answers will be!).

If you have questions or concerns, reach out anytime! e.g. at Wolferst@students.uni-marburg.de

Take the survey here: https://www.soscisurvey.de/intersectionalpolyamory/

Via this link, you will also find information on data protection (no personal information will be gathered!), your rights and helpful ressources.

Thank you for your time and the mods for hopefully approving this post.

This study contributes to the master thesis of Vera Wolferstetter and has been approved by the Phillips-Universität Marburg Ethics Committee (Aktenzeichen: 2024-69k). My advisors are Anne Vogel, M.Sc. and Prof. Dr. Melanie Fischer.

Hi Everyone! Our very last PC in NYC will be on Mon, December 9 from 7p-12a. We’re on the Lower East Side of Manhattan. 21+, free. Private.

To RSVP, please send your name, vaxx card (buffed out identifying info ok) to polychrissy@gmail.com and take a rapid antigen test at home before arrival. We will confirm!

Our next event won’t be til February, so join us!

———

For those who have never been, we’re an almost 18-year-old monthly social of over a hundred attendees who are between the ages of 21 and 87 with the majority in their mid-20s-mid 50s. We’re nerdy mutual aid enthusiasts who meet in a non-cruising space in community and solidarity.

There’s a cash bar for reasonably priced boozy and non boozy drinks, and people often bring snacks to share.

Background: We are a 3 person family unit. Two of us are having a baby together and are taking parent roles, and the 3rd person in our unit is going to help with caretaking, but definitely doesn't ID as "dad" or "mom". Uncle is a clear option, but are there any cute, creative names y'all have heard for kiddo to use for the "other caregiver"?

Any MFM V who live together? What are your arrangements? What kind of boundaries do you have? How do you guys make it work?

New to this.. please be kind.

Started dating a married couple a couple of months ago. They have a couple kids. They’ve been married for multiple years. How do I start to integrate myself into the family?

My hope is that this all continues to go smooth. I’d love to be a little more a part of the family, just not sure how to bring it up yet. I don’t want to “force” myself in but also want it known that I want to and am willing to be a part of their family.