I am holding a small birthday dinner for myself in my house this coming week.

I invited 10 close friends and 7 have RSVP'd yes. Two added their girlfriends as plus ones despite the invite saying "please ask in advance for plus ones"

I reached out to one to say we might not have space and he replied "its not a big deal, she cancelled something to make it, she can always sit on my lap"

I would prefer to not have her there. How do I best navigate this?

Possible options:

1. make a common enemy, say "no ring no bring because we don't like X's girlfriend" which is true, no one likes her
2. panic

About a month ago my sister was explaining how her grandsons baptism was being planned and explained how she hoped I can be there to help with some tricky blended family issues. The baptism is coming up fast and I have yet to actually be invited or given details on where, when etc. I'm thinking that now I'm not invited and asking if I am invited would make it akward. Suggestions?

Hello, with the holidays coming up and wishlists being sent by family members, I was hoping to get some advice on how to communicate that I do not want to/plan to get a problematic person a gift.

For context, my sister just had a baby with her boyfriend of less than a year - unplanned. The boyfriend has proven to be problematic for a myriad of reasons, such as: consistently picking fights with my husband over things relating to my husband’s career. He has also proven that he does not respect my family - my 10 month old daughter included - with things he has said or “sub-posted” on social media (cannot share details at this time, but the disrespect is to the point where if he wasn’t the father of my nephew I would never interact with this person again).

With all of this, I have no interest in getting him a gift for the holidays, but have no idea how to approach this without being an asshole. We don’t currently have any plans to have a shared holiday gathering so that does spare us the awkwardness of not giving a gift in front of others, but I worry that if I get gifts for my sister and my nephew that this will just cause drama and stress for people I don’t want to drag into the middle of this.

TL;DR: How do I handle not giving a gift for someone who I would not give the time of day if they weren’t tangentially related to me without being a complete jerk?

I’m throwing a NYE party—it’ll be a casual open-house style gathering with lots of guests invited. I’d like to keep up my Christmas decorations. They’re very traditional and vintage, lots of red, white, gold, pewter, silver. There’s nothing super commercial about any of it.

Thoughts?

*add not ASS!!! (For the poll below) 🤦‍♀️

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Hi everyone! I need some opinions. I am 23f and increasingly getting frustrated with the people around me. I get invited to birthdays where the person will set a theme for how we’re supposed to dress (not black tie or anything, think like everyone needs to be someone from Oz) stuff you just wouldn’t have laying around. Then they want ether a night out clubbing and a separate day for a meal. We as guests are expected to pay for all of this on top of getting them a gift. I understand most of us are broke at this age but it doesn’t sit right with me to ask me to spend 300+. Last year I had a birthday where I invited my cousins and there bf’s and my bf payed for everyone and he’s the youngest out of all of us. My cousins are 28-32ish. I just think if you want a special birthday you should cover all costs. I’m in the us rn but in my country when ppl have birthdays and want a theme and a gift they give you a really nice dinner at the least. Anyways what’s yalls thoughts?

Question: is it incorrect to wipe hands on aprons and kitchen towels while cooking without having washed hands first. In other words: is it ok to get these items dirty or should they be left only for drying water?

My friend and her new husband got married in a very small ceremony in early October with only their parents in attendance, and have been quietly and slowly telling friends about it during one on one conversations. They’re very private people, so I’m happy they made the experience what they wanted.

I’m wondering about a wedding gift. I’d love to acknowledge the occasion with a card and a reasonable amount of money. It feels appropriate 99% of the time, but then I start overthinking.

Do you think a wedding gift would be appropriate here?

Most folks probably have someone in their life who just talks too much. My discomfort is with my mother, who talks non-stop, to the point that she won’t allow quiet interludes in conversation. I can excuse myself, even walk out of the room - she’s still yammering. On a long drive I’ll turn on music or a podcast, she’ll talk over it. She talks when she has nothing at all to say.

Recently I must have expressed some annoyance, because she texted me, a long text, and she signed off with “I know this must be too wordy for you, but I won’t follow your rules. Sorry”. My ‘rules’? Clearly I offended her, I never want to offend her, but I do wish she’d just be quiet sometimes.

How can I very gently curb her talking? Or should I improve my patience / get better at tuning her out?

My husband and I got married in October 2023. Within 6 weeks I found out I was pregnant. It was a whirlwind first year between adjusting to newlywed life and having a baby. I'll save you the relationship drama and make the issue short. As much as I know it was the wrong choice, my hormone addled brain decided the hill I was going to die on was that after planning the wedding solo, managing the finding of and moving into our new apartment, and doing 99% of the home management, I was willing to die on the hill that the least my husband could do was write 14 thank you cards to his closest family and groomsmen while I did the other 61 on top of all the baby shower thank you cards.

My cards all went out long before the baby came. Going on 14 months later, my husband has not finished his cards. As life (and hormones) are finally leveling for me 4 months post-baby and I begin to do christmas cards, I'm feeling absolutely HUMILIATED that we have thank you cards unsent. I wrote all the ones for his extended family but didn't send them until we had cards for all his guests because I didn't want aunts/uncles getting offended when their children got thank yous but they didn't (again, bad judgement on my end).

I know what to write in terms of gifts given, but what do I say to the groomsmen? My bridesmaids got personal thank yous for standing by my side and all they did. Ideally my husband would do the same for his groomsmen (who I barely interacted with outside of photos). So as the bride, are there any suggestions on what I could write to them so that we can get these out and close this chapter of our lives?

Title

We have elderly neighbors we became friendly with when we first moved to this neighborhood. We invite them to holidays (when we're home) and anytime we have a party.

Sadly, the wife has started to show definite cognitive decay. And her husband has his own challenges. Their respective families aren't much help. They're financially secure (not sure why I mention this, but so be it).

If I'm being honest, she was always a bit brusque, and worse when she drinks which was all the time. Loud and disorderly.

Well, now with the early dementia, she's started to pester my teenaged daughter relentlessly which was clearly evident this Thanksgiving. I made some kind but clear comments along the lines of "stop asking" to no avail. My daughter was clearly bothered.

If we invite them to Xmas (and let me be clear I do not want to but do have empathy) I don't know what I'll do if she starts the same thing again with my daughter. Her husband is not in a position to help. And she has dementia...logical discussion does not work. But what I really want to do is usher them out the door.

Anything to suggest? Maybe a perspective I haven't recognized?

I’m having a lunch party at my home and will be serving beer. Will keeping it in plastic buckets on ice be sufficient to keep it cold for 2-3 hours? I could keep it in my fridge, but I don’t want guests to feel awkward opening my fridge to get a drink.

I hung out with a friend a few days ago, and we got something together which I fronted that was rough $19, so 9.50 each. I asked them today if they would be able to send me the 9.50? Idk if this is too weird because it could be arguably a small amount, but I have also done a lot of favors for this person (ie drive them everywhere they needed to go while visiting my state, which cumulatively was for approximately 3 hours). Or should I just let it go? (I honestly am willing to let it go I just wanna know for future reference). Thanks!

Edit: okay yay they paid back

I went out drinking with one of my best friends and one of his good friends a month ago. I opened a tab on my card and the bill came out to around $240. At the time, they both said to let them know how much they owe me. I procrastinated thinking about it for a month and now feel uncomfortable asking a friend of a friend for $80 for a night from a month ago, but I also do not feel that I am obligated to cover someone’s drinking for a night.

Should I feel comfortable texting him asking for $80 from a month ago? Curious to see what others think!

Recently, a coworker emailed to let everyone know that they had lost a family member, but did not want to talk about it at work until further notice. For context, this family member is one that was brought up in conversation semi-regularly, so otherwise one of us might have asked after them, not knowing about the loss. My question is: even though the coworker expressed that they didn't want to talk about the loss at work, would it still be appropriate to get them a card and have folks sign it expressing our condolences? I wasn't sure if that would go against the "not talking about it" request from the coworker, or if this was still an appropriate way to express our sympathy. Thanks in advance for your opinions!

I'm American, and we just had Thanksgiving. I didn't host, but rather took a dish to a friend's in-law's home. For context, I'm English/Arab by descent, and something has confounded me.

When I host, I always make a TON of food and always offer to send some home with guests. It was just how I was raised. This in-law, however (white-zero offense intended. I say this because several people have told me this may matter) seems to think all food brought is hers and, even though there is a lot left over, never offers a bit of it to anyone to take home. (All those videos about what to do with Thanksgiving leftovers, not a problem here).To me this is strange. Of course the host keeps some leftovers for themself, but this notion that the ton of food that is left over is all theirs kinda boggles my mind. Am I insane? Is she doing the proper thing? Thanks!

I live in a 6-unit building with only 1 washer and 1 dryer shared between units in the basement. I don't know any of my neighbors. How long do I wait to take another unit/apartment's wash out of the washer? I don't know who it belongs to, obviously, so do I just set it on top of the dryer (the washer is top loading, so I can't set it on top of the washer)? Do I leave a note saying something like "I'm sorry, but I waited a few hours"?

My ex-girlfriend's father died suddenly a few days ago. We dated almost ten years ago, but we were together for a couple years and I saw the family regularly during that time. We're still friends though I haven't talked to her since 2021. Under normal circumstances I would attend the viewing or funeral, but like so many others I am out of town this weekend. I'd like to express my condolences but a phone call after all these years seems like it would be intrusive under the circumstances. On the other hand, a Facebook comment seems a bit too flippant and low effort. She was in grad school living with her parents while we were dating and I was over there almost every day, so I know the family very well and feel horrible about what happened. Any ideas on how best to express my sympathy?

my friend offered to let me stay for a few nights at her parents house. will a thank you note suffice? should i get them a small gift? thank you!

edit - i am from the us but this will be in the uk if that changes anything

Hi, I work at a popular fast food chain that has an app where you can earn points, get coupons, etc. I would say about 50-60% of people who come through use the app when they order, but a lot of the time, here's how it goes in our drive thru:

"Hi, how can I help you?"

"My code is 8614."

Or

"Hi, how can I help you?"

"Mumbles"

"I'm sorry?"

"8614!"

I find that people give their code for the app unprompted, and while I understand that taking their codes is part of my job, I can't help but be put off when a customer skips "hello" and responds as if we've been replaced by an AI (we haven't - not yet, anyway). Maybe it's something minor, but I wanted to hear more opinions on it!

I'm in graduate school, and usually my research lab does a social (some sort of activity and a meal) approximately once per semester, which is now coming up. I've just been so stressed and not in the proper headspace to socialize lately -- the progress of my project is not going great -- and I would rather just stay home and focus on it. I've also gone to the last few socials and they were honestly not an enjoyable experience.

What can I say to my advisor to politely and professionally back out of it? I do not want them to resent me for not wanting to go. Or should I just force myself to go anyways?

I was invited to a bridal shower at a restaurant (Sunday brunch) and the invitation noted that the cost was $40. To the extent that it matters, the average breakfast meal at this place is under $15, so not only is the host not actually hosting the guests to anything, it sounds like a fundraiser.

It’s been about 20 years since my peers were getting married, so I know I’m not in touch with the latest wedding trends. Is this normal?

I threw a NYE party last year at my house and it was a great time, and I thought it would be fun to host again but my friend wants to throw a NYE party. She still lives with her parents and they are way in the suburbs. We have the same friend group so it wouldn’t make sense to have two parties. We discussed co-hosting but at my and my husband’s house… which feels weird to put her name on an invitation when it’s at my house. Thoughts ?

It is 7:30 a.m. on the east coast of the US. I'm up, drinking my coffee and getting ready to start my day. Today is Thanksgiving! So I just wanted to wish a Happy Thanksgiving to all the American users of this subreddit!

I'm Thankful for all the users of this Subreddit! I enjoy coming here each day and reading posts and comments. :-)

i want to get the name of the cutlery set used in the Fancy restaurant

Hello--it's that time of year again, when I reach out for gift giving etiquette.

In my family, gifts are for kids--adults might get a gift card, or a meat and cheese box (For Tradition), but it isn't expected or necessary. This year, I'm doing pretty well financially, so I can get the adults (6 in total) each a small gift card. I'd like to enclose the gift cards in Christmas cards, so I'm not just like "Here, have some plastic" when we pass out gifts.

My question comes mainly from the "grouping" of each adult--it's my two grandparents (married), my aunt and uncle (married), and my mom and her boyfriend of about a year. In my experience, couples usually share greeting cards: you'd send two Christmas cards to your mom's siblings who live together, but one card to Grams and Pop Pop, etc. [[It symbolizes you see them as like...a team? A family unit? Idk, it's What Is Done]]

When it comes to gift cards, however, I think making a couple share would be really tacky, especially since I can only put a small amount on each gift card.

So reddit, what is the polite and correct way to divvy these cards up?

A. Six gift cards, six greeting cards--everyone gets their own.

B. Six gift cards, three greeting cards--each greeting card has a "To X and Y", but each person still has their own gift card to spend.

C. Three gift cards, three greeting cards--couples can share gift cards if I combine the amount on both.

I saw a TikTok about this and realized idk the etiquette rule

According to formal dining etiquette, one should break bread with the hands rather than using a knife. I searched all over the internet, but couldn't find a valid reason.