Honestly one of my biggest struggles. I used to love cooking for my husband and I, but now with these little monsters we aren’t as varied with our meals because they aren’t really adventurous eaters.

This is a gratitude post.

I'm a 29-year-old SAHM to a beautiful 10-month-old baby. I’ve worked in the corporate world before, in a high-stress job, so I truly appreciate the change of pace now.

It’s been freezing where we live, but today was one of the warmer days at 16°C. I decided to take my little one to the park around noon—her second time there—and we had the best time outside. Normally, it's snowing or just way too cold during these months, so this felt like such a treat.

I’m so grateful for moments like these, when I can spend time with her in the middle of the day. I know I’ll miss this special time when I return to work, which I plan to do soon.

I have returned to work after the birth of my first. Immediate regret and difficulty. It’s been about a month and these feelings haven’t leveled out- I’ve talked extensively to my partner about this, and the only thing that makes sense is for me to become a SAHM. Financially we can do it, and from a quality of life standpoint based on our current schedules, it will be so much better for us.

I wish I had realized this BEFORE I returned to work with a new position in my department. The only thing keeping me here still is that I have no idea how to talk to my manager about it. I want to be honest, but feel as though they will be frustrated that I accepted the position, made them wait, only to have me leave after being somewhat trained. There are so many negative perceptions around SAHM in the working world, and I feel as though I will have to “explain myself” to my manager and all of my coworkers. But I can’t do this much longer, I feel as though I’m wasting time and resources.

For anyone who has been in a similar situation- how did you go about it? How did you leave work after returning from work, and not burn bridges?

Hi, everybody. 👋 I’ve been a SAHM for 8 years. I have 3 kids (8, 5 & 1). Two of my children are autistic, one is nonverbal. Life is tough and lonely. I haven’t slept through the night in 6 years. I’m on antidepressants for depression & anxiety. We recently moved to a different state to be closer to my parents, so I could get a little more help. But my parents aren’t… how do I say this… emotionally available? They help by picking the kids up if I can’t make it, having the kids play over for a while. But we don’t talk about anything personal. We don’t talk about feelings or relationships. I don’t have any friends. I haven’t had the chance to make any since moving. My marriage has been rocky for the last 6 years. My husband and I are always on different pages. I feel like how he treats me or loves me is completely dependent on how much we have in the bank. We’ve been surviving paycheck to paycheck. He’s always stressed about not being able to pay bills. I get that stress, but I’m always sidelined bc we need to pay rent. I’m joining this group bc I know you mom’s will understand and know how lonely SAHM life can be. Maybe I could even make a friend. Sounds so sad, yeah?

Every month that my period hits I just feel drained, cranky, exhausted, and terrible the entire 7-10 days I’m on it. I’m on birth control but none that I’ve ever tried has made me bleed less or for less amount of days. I have my 2 year old daughter and 5 month old son to take care of until my husband gets home from work around 5-6 tonight probably and I just feel terrible. Yesterday I just laid around when not caring for the kids because I felt so terrible, today I’m laying around when the kids don’t need me again because I just have no energy (I feel awful but I’ve just let chores go for now because I don’t have the energy to deal with it all)

I got plenty of sleep last night surprisingly, but it just doesn’t help honestly, how much blood I’m losing just makes me feel so tired and terrible. My stomachs messed up as well from it, I’ve been to the OB many times for heavy periods and bleeding but haven’t found anything so I guess it’s just how my cycles are. Does anyone have any tips or recommendations on how to not feel as terrible during your cycle every month? I never struggled with them this much until I had my son and ever since I had him my cycles are heavier, longer, and much more painful (again I’ve been to the OB many times and they can’t figure out why) Any and all comments are much appreciated thanks in advance!

I feel like a burden to my SO because he is the one providing for us. he is supportive of our arrangement that I get to stay home to care for our kid.

But a lot of days I wish that I could divide my body by 2, one that could stay and take care of LO and one that would go out and work for extra income.

I recently became a SAHM after my husband started his new job. The problem is that he needs to leave for work around 3:30am every single day (drives a truck all day) and comes home anywhere from 3-5pm. It was really rough and lonely for me the first few months because I was pretty much alone taking care of our toddler with absolutely no help around the house all day until he comes home and pretty much passed out after having dinner. I tried to be as understanding as I could, given I no longer had to work and he was getting used to his new job which had very early morning hours not to mention pretty physically demanding. But let’s be honest here. It was pretty infuriating to see him every effin day like that, doing nothing but sleep when he comes home as if he had no other responsibilities at home and home was a hotel or something. It was rough, being alone with a high maintenance toddler all day, being touched out, no alone time, never ending housework, and everything else in between. Now that some time has passed, I have gotten used to this lifestyle so I am not AS resentful and tired all the time like I used to be. But the sad thing is that now I am too comfortable (?) with it for lack of a better word? In other words, I actually enjoy him not being home because I don’t have to see or listen to him moaning or groaning about how much pain he is in or how tired he is. I can just tell that we are no longer talking or listening to each other because we’re both so worn out and tired. If not that, our toddler is always between us interrupting us or screaming to the point that we just can’t have any conversation. At this point, texting each other during the day is the best way of communication. I also have gotten to hate having sex so much to the point that he started to notice and it kinda made me sad today. Why did I become like this? We used to love sex but my sex drive slowly dwindled after having our kid and after this tough SAHM schedule, I have grown to hate it even more, especially cuz he pretty much expects it every rare chance our toddler naps while we are both home. SAHMs with partners with similar work schedules, how do you do it? I honestly hate it so much and would much rather he went back to his corporate life with normal schedule and days off with other normalish humans!

*** DISCLAIMER - My husband has a work vehicle. The vehicle is free and his company pays for the gas. He uses this for work or small errands. He also has a truck that we barely use. I never have to worry about driving him to or from work. I am hardly, if ever, without a vehicle. ***

Hi all. My husband and I each have a vehicle (he has a 2015 truck along with a work vehicle while I have a 2021 SUV). We didn't make huge changed when I began staying home... minimal ones like minimizing going out to eat, shopping less, and canceling our cable.

Life has caught up with us and now the impending tarrifs and potential price jumps after inflation has me worried about finances. With those worries, I have considered going down to one vehicle.

If you went down to one vehicle - was the transition difficult? Do you ever worry about emergencies? Do you ever regret it?

This is my first time posting. I regret that I’m not posting something happy, but my hope is that if I’m writing, I’m not risking getting caught being upset by my family. They’re not uncaring people, which is part of the problem. I’m not angry. I don’t feel like confronting anything or anyone. I’m just sad and don’t want to deal with other people feeling guilty on top of how I feel.

Today is my birthday. Yesterday, we celebrated by having my husband’s parents, and my mom over to the house. My husband bought pizza. Because I was my birthday, I got a small of my favorite toppings. His parents got me the double airfryer my husband had requested for his birthday next month. My mom got me mixing bowls. This is the third set she’s gotten me. She also gave me Tupperware. My children did their best and to them I am grateful. I got a book and a board game.

As I’ve said, today is my birthday. I didn’t want to go out today, because I wanted my husband to check out our car. It’s making a loud noise. I told him I was okay with staying home, because I want the car fixed. That being said, we did go to church this morning. My husband felt something was off, so surprised me by letting me pick out a bread mix and dipping sauce that I can make for the family.

He didn’t end up working on the car. It’s too cold. He’s having some drinks in the living room. I’m welcome to join him, or stay here in the bedroom for “me time”.

I don’t care about the gifts. I’m not that materialistic. I just feel invisible. I feel like an after thought. Is it selfish to want one day a year to feel special?

Good day everyone. I rapidly became a stay-at-home mom to two teenagers shortly followed by a little one. I have been feeling so isolated that I'm getting to the point where I just feel miserable all the time. I have a very supporting husband and overall my kids are great, but I'm still not happy. I'm doing everything I'm supposed to to take care of my mental health and yet still seems to circle back to the fact that I feel very alone and I don't know how to fix it. What have you found that you've been able to do to be social and still feel engaged with her people? I'm a military wife, so I don't have family or friends around. Anyone have any suggestions?

Hi everybody - first time caller here…my husband and I are coming up on two years of marriage, together for four years total. We have a really wonderful 13 month old boy. My husband works a full-time corporate job from home, and I left my full-time corporate job to be a stay at home mom. While this was absolutely the right choice for us and I am so grateful to have the opportunity, we’ve had challenges as a couple lately.

I feel like it’s pulling teeth asking my husband to spend time with my son/partake in the things necessary to care for a child. He thinks that because he provides the financial support for our family that he is exempt from certain things like bedtime during the week. I also feel like I don’t get to have weekend days because he continues to work almost a full day on Saturdays and Sundays. He’ll maybe watch our son for 2-3 hours so I can go to a workout class/clean but then feels like he’s off the clock as a dad again after that. He just wants to enjoy being around our son but not actually put in any of the work.

We finally agreed that we need a routine/weekly schedule so that I can start getting the time I need to either keep up with the house or take care of myself.

For those with a similar situation, do you have a schedule that works well? How do you split weekend time up? And how much time does your partner usually spend with your LO?

Any and all advice is welcome <3

I have honestly been drowning in motherhood and with my youngest being 8 months old I’m feeling pretty spread thin between all my responsibilities and also taking care of the house. Recently I’ve been completely missing activities and it’s because I’ll have my days mixed up and or I don’t pay attention to the date or week it is. I’m just juggling too much all at the same time. Well yesterday during one of my baby’s wake ups around 1 am I realized it was the 2nd and not the 1st and I was mortified to realize I had completely forgotten to call my best friend for her birthday. I sent her a text letting her know I was severely sorry for this mishap and was beating myself up. Am I a shit friend? Would you forgive me lol

I'm really struggling, on one hand I am happy for her and her family. On the other I am so sad.

I have a 7 year old, 4 year old and 7 month old. I had a great community when my 7 year old was young, I'm still friends with those moms but they have since returned to work.

I reconnected with a mom who I knew since middle school when my middle was 9 months old. I've never connected with another mom so much, we just get each other, have so many shared experiences, and our kids get along great. Us moms were very good friends from ages 12-18 but lost touch in college and after. When we met again the friendship was instant. She is so incredibly caring and an amazing friend. She has been so supportive through my last postpartum. We hang out about 2-3 times a week. I didn't make a huge effort to make other friends to hang out with for my 4 year old, yes we have other friends but not on this level and frequency.

I find myself crying about this friend leaving. Am I crazy? I know we can remain friends even if she isn't local, I don't know why I'm having such a hard time coping.

Also I am supporting her and the move because it's what she wants for her family and I am experiencing joy for her while sadness for me. I haven't told her that I am sad she and her children are leaving because I don't want to bring her down. I am truly happy for her and her family as they are moving for their own reasons.

My husband will add on the time we spend on the phone to discuss something to the time he finishes his tasks. We have small children and I might need a hand, and instead of "I'll be done to help you at 6:00" it will become "I'll be done at 6:04" because of the time I spent explaining to him what I needed on the phone. No one I've met does this. AITA for just wanting him to stop doing this? Note - he's usually later than the "6:04" example anyway.

Hello! I am expecting in March. I ordered a few last minute necessities from this secondhand/overstock mom and baby website I found called Rebelstork. Website seems legit. They have GREAT prices. Everything is labeled either overstock or open box or used. Everything I ordered is labeled open box which means it's strictly opened and returned. I placed the order on January 25th (early morning, idk if that matters). The first shipping details I read stated it should be shipped within 3-7 days. Upon checking order status yesterday, there are no updates. It still says "Preparing Order". I called a customer service line to check on everything and was given an email. I emailed them asking about my order and they replied with an automated, 'no reply' email that said the shipping time is actually 3-9 days and that I should basically just wait. I know there's still plenty of time but I am getting a bit nervous because this order did include a decently priced crib and baby bath. Has anyone here used Rebelstork? If so, how was your experience?

Tell me it gets easier. We’re struggling, neither of us feeling like we are getting our needs met. I am just so tired of it all. I lack the energy to care because I feel like everyday I am mentally and physically giving so much. My husband feels like I am with him because of the monetary comforts and support - and I am starting to think maybe he’s right. At least for the season we are in with a toddler and baby on the way.

Would love to hear success stories if you’ve been through something, whatever that has meant for you.

Does anyone else with a little bit older kids (maybe younger too) feel like or like to take a nap daily or at least every other day? I usually do every other day and it’s between a half hour and an hour. I get enough sleep but I just feel like I need one!

Edit: I’m also on a medication that could potentially make me more tired.

I have a complicated story so I’ll try to keep it short. I was a sahm for 5 years raising our 3 little kids. Husband (not legally married) and I broke up but still lived together for 8 months, then got back together. During the breakup I was looking for work but ended up going to school to be a medical assistant. I just finished a grueling 7 weeks of slave labor (my externship) where I worked full time without pay and had to pay $2500/month for daycare. After which I would come home exhausted and still do all of the SAHM mom things because no one else takes care of the house. During my time in school, I was also doing gig work for money, and during my externship, my household completely fell apart. We are all ADHD over here, so you can imagine the chaos that ensued because mom was too busy and stressed to worry about the clutter that accumulated in that time. Everything is so disorganized and clutter everywhere. I am so happy to be done with school and finally feel like I can breath again. But now I have a whole house to organize once again. I’m so overwhelmed. And everyone keeps asking “So what are you going to do now?” because I’m done with school and they just assume I would go back to work. I don’t think I can do that. My mental health declined so much during those 9 months that I don’t think I can handle working. Not to mention that my paycheck would mostly be going to pay for childcare. So what’s the point? We don’t qualify for any kind of assistance, yet we are barely scraping by.

I missed being a SAHM mom and raising my kids. I just really hate that everyone seems to be disappointed that I won’t be working. But I’ve already had a taste of that life of working for free and no thanks LOL. Daycare is as much as our mortgage, which is ridiculous. I’d rather be poor and raise my own kids but literally no one understands that.

I have 4 kids (4, 2,2, 10 months) and I feel like I’m constantly on edge. Best way to explain it is that I feel like my nervous system is fried. I feel so burnt out right now! I find 0 joy in being around my kids right now especially my twins. But I’m 95% sure it’s because of their age. It’s constant fighting, screaming, crying. I just really need real advice on how to get back to center. Like what are you doing during the day to keep yourself grounded and prevent anxiety/panic from the overstimulation?

Hello all, I’ll be leaving the group this weekend because I’ll be starting a full time job Monday. I’ve been fortunate enough to be home the last 3.5 years with our last child.

As you can imagine- lots of mixed emotions. We need the money and hope to buy a house so that’s a big push to work. I do hate the amount of money I now have to spend on daycare, $317 a week!

I’ll miss seeing my little girl all day, random summer day trips whenever we want, not stressing over fitting in appts, doing shopping during a slow week day, morning snuggles while slowly waking up. I could go on.

Anyway, i mostly wanted to say appreciate even the hard days because they’re still days with your baby/babies.

First time SAHM, as much as I love it. It's winter time and it's not like I have many activities to do. I was told to sell clothes I didn't want online but it seems to be a busy. Unless I'm doing something wrong lol

I’m so tired of being put down every single day. He says I don’t deserve love respect or affection just for doing my “job” which is the typical housework. I’m constantly called lazy, worthless, a whore, a horrible mother who doesn’t care about her children over the littlest things. I’m told I’m not needed or wanted. That I’m the reason he drinks because I just want to be treated like an equal not less than. I don’t know what to do anymore. I have no one to talk to no one to lean on. I know my kids don’t deserve to hear me treated like this. I’m so tired of walking on eggshells trying to determine if he’s in a good mood. Trying to shelter my kids from his verbal attacks. I gave up a lot to be with him and stay home and he doesn’t understand. I put my life on hold to raise the kids but nothing I do is ever good enough.

Taking a poll to see how many sahm wake up their partner for work? Like everyday, instead of them using an alarm.

Are your partners kind to you when you wake them up or do they talk to you in a mean tone and tell you to F off?

My partner works 4 ten hr shifts in a warehouse. We have one baby I am the default parent. He doesn’t do a whole lot with the baby unless I beg him to.

My partner and me have been together for 3 years. He’s worked longer, harder shifts in the past as have I. We both would set our alarms to wake up and go to our jobs but now that I stay home and we have a baby both him and his mom expect me to wake him up daily for his shift. And if I wake him up too early that’s wrong and if I wake him up too late that’s wrong. And when I wake him up he tells me to F off leave him the f alone. He treats me very mean. So I decided I won’t be waking him up. He was late today; not by much but was mad that I didn’t wake him up. So he called his mom who then called me to tell me she’s mad at me for not waking him up. And when I told her it was a natural consequence that he may lose his job she said well then I’d have to work. His mother has been more supportive for us than he has been. Both financially and otherwise.

I told her and that yeah even tho her son needs support I feel this is coddling him and is not helpful for his growth as an adult man. She said she disagrees and will “coddle” him if that’s what it takes for him to wake up and go to work.

I’m so fed up with this. Thoughts?

My house is a mess and I can't keep up. I keep saying we are gonna end up on the show Hoarders one day. I swear to God I clean the house and then my husband and 3 kids just pig it up again to the point where you can't even tell it was cleaned. I'm embarrassed if someone knocks on the door. I'm 5 seconds away from just picking stuff up and shoving it in trash bags. It's so stressful sometimes I just shut down because it's ridiculous.

Ive tried to set boundaries and rules but If I tell them to help clean it turns into a huge stressful fight. It's exhausting. Advice needed! And no, I can't afford a housekeeper.

I have been a SAHM for 3 months now with my 21 month daughter. I have been very strong through all the obstacles of this change. Previously I was a HR Director and worked very hard to get to where i was and i feel like my identity is diminishing. I am extremely productive throughout the day. I wake up early work out/go for a run, make my daughter and husband breakfast, clean, cook, and laundry every day. There is days when i need a little me time like a shower, bath, skincare while she is napping. Today was that day. i put my daughter down for her nap at 12pm like i always do, she typically naps until 2pm. I did some laundry, cleaned up the kitchen, and finished my book. I started a bath at 1pm got in… then my daughter started crying her eyes out which is unusual for her. I checked the camera and my dog somehow got through the gate and opened her door and woke her up. WHEN I TELL YOU I WAS SO MAD. I never take time for me and had a mental breakdown. My hair absolutely needed washed, i haven’t washed my face in days and i just needed time for me. I never screamed and yelled so loud, i immediately started crying that i am ugly, fat, disgusting, i don’t feel pretty anymore. i feel awful that my daughter heard me yelling and crying, i am so disappointed.

I’m a military spouse and have struggled with career change and becoming a mom in a place with very little support and low access to family. We’ve been on the list for an amazing daycare/education academy for our toddler. We got the call today that we got a spot starting late February. Earlier this week we found out we’re moving sometime this fall or winter. my toddler is going to be in this daycare for less than a year. Its not exactly enough time for me to go out and find a new job for such little time. I do have a small business im starting up but its mostly a hobby business that i dont expect to take place of a full income. This is more of a rant/ talk it out more than anything. i’m not sure if I need advice or just to hear from people in a similar situation.

I’m (36f) who is in mat leave with a 3 month old and a 2y11m. I have no idea how to get my toddler to engage in activities while I’m with baby. I have no idea how to get toddler to nap while I have an awake baby. I hate screen time but can’t get baby asleep unless toddler is watching.

I have no idea where to start in divid time and everyone get what they need. I need the words and wisdom. I literally rage when my toddler wakes the baby.

Obviously this wouldn't work for people who have part time jobs/need to be in a place at a certain time. But I feel like daycare/child care is often the go-to solution when SAHM need extra time. Daycare is significantly more expensive than hiring someone to come deep clean/do your laundry 1xweek, right? Obviously a lot of housework is little things that need to get done everyday (i.e. it wouldn't be realistic to hire someone to empty the dishwasher everyday lol) What am i missing?

Curious if anyone does this or has considered it?