https://uofsc.co1.qualtrics.com/jfe/form/SV_6mNYjErHu0gexTg

Hello everyone! My name is Lizzy Combs (she/her/hers), and I am a doctoral student at the University of South Carolina College of Education in Columbia, South Carolina. I am recruiting for an LGBTQ and more health research survey that examines strengths-based factors such as coping strategies, individual resilience protective factors, and family resilience protective factors on members of the LGBTQ and more community, especially as it relates to substance use. I hope that the results of this study will inform counseling and other mental health treatment practices as well as treatment outcomes for LGBTQ and more individuals.

I am looking for participants who identify as part of the LGBTQ+ community, are aged 18 and older, and live in the United States. Participants should also be able to understand and communicate in English.

To participate, you may select the link above and answer questions (mostly multiple choice and multiple answer, also a few short answers). This survey may take between 15-30 minutes to complete. You will not be asked any personally identifying information. There is no compensation for participation.

If you are interested in this study, please select the link above. If you know anyone who may want to participate, please share the link above with them. This study has been approved by the IRB and if you have any questions, please comment below this post or email me directly at combsel@email.sc.edu.

IRB approval letter is available to share.

Thank you for your consideration!

Lizzy

…This isn’t a long post. It’s nothing complicated…I just wanted to say, for any trans person living in America right now, and anyone else affected greatly by the most recent election…I’m here. And I see you. I hear you. I feel you. And all of your identities, experiences and lives are valid no matter what anyone says or what happens.

Feel free to contact me here, or on Insta or Discord

Insta: sunnysmilearts_official Disc: sunnysmilez.02

Sincerely, with love, a cis LGBTQ person 🫶🏻♥️💜

Hello everyone, 

Researchers at Washington University in Saint Louis’ Brown School are interested in understanding Autistic adults’ experiences of trust in mental health care and crisis intervention services for psychological and emotional distress. Crisis services can range from police, EMT/paramedics, emergency departments, inpatient psychiatric care, peer respites, etc. We are recruiting autistic adults (self-diagnosed or formally diagnosed) who have direct lived experiences with mental health crisis services to participate in a 10 minute survey. By completing the survey, you can enter into a $50 gift card lottery. Complete the survey here: https://redcap.wustl.edu/redcap/surveys/?s=87HNAACD9WHJL4D3  

Also attached is the flyer for this study. Please feel free to comment any questions/concerns on this post.

why must it be so difficult to love someone who doesn't want to live? like i'm really scared that they could do it and i have never told them that i loved them. maybe he has already forgotten me. but no, he did recognize me just a couple days ago and smiled and waved at me, but we couldn't talk. the saddest thing is that i at least partly know why they feel this way. they told me their story the first night we met and it is so incredibly horrifying what happened to them. i can absolutely understand why he feels that way after what he experienced and the guy who did it wasn't even punished for it. but i wish he would find a reason to want to live, i couldn't hold myself together if he didn't

I'm 33M and my ex is 57M. We currently live together, but I'm moving out soon. We were together for about a year and some months, and we've been broken up for about 6-7 months. At the beginning of our relationship, he was abusing substances, and I helped him get sober. During that time, I took care of him, made sure he ate, and was there for him overall.

Recently, he started using again, and I caught him hosting a few sexual parties at the house we live in together, which he owns. I've decided to move out the day his family friends are visiting because I can't stay here during that time. He's been hanging out with the wrong people and abusing substances again. I've tried to talk to him, but he doesn't care.

I was really upset about the sexual party he hosted while I was out of town. He's been through this before and even lost a lot of money, by choosing the wrong people he lets close to him (ex friends, ex boyfriends). I’m pretty much the only good one he has ever met never stole anything or used him for his money. He thinks that just because his bills are paid every month, I shouldn't worry about him. I threatened to tell his family, which made him upset. I told him if he didn't sober up in the next few weeks, I would tell his family. I feel sad for leaving, but we're not together anymore, and I think he's choosing a life of partying and abusing sex and drugs.

I'm feeling really good and happy about moving out, but sad because I know what's going to happen to his life. He's an extremely depressed person. During the whole 1.8 years I've lived here, we didn't do anything together; we stayed home all the time and never went anywhere. I plan on moving out the day I have to leave the house, and he thinks I'm coming back after the weekend is over, but I'm not.

When I moved out of my last place, I gave all my things away, so I don't have anything. He has not offered any money to help me with deposits or anything. He's also a Libra and a millionaire. I told him I was already moving out in December but things changed and I decided on November.

Do you think I should go no contact and not tell him anything since he's very secretive with me about everything? I plan on not answering his texts or calls if he reaches out. What do you think?

I just wanted to let you all know, things are going to be tough, but they will be ok, I'm a pretty pessimistic person but I believe that.

If we stick together as a community we can and will make it

Setbacks happen, sometimes those setbacks are far bigger than others

But those set backs aren't the end. Not unless we allow them to be.

We can and should rest, and if needed, retreat, but we can never give up, never stop fighting for a better future, for our selves, for our friends, for our families, and for those like us.

Right now we can rest, we can cry, we can be afraid, but we shouldn't let it consume us. We can't lose ourselves.

Things will be ok, fight on, and look forward

Know that some of our Governors plan on protecting us to

For example. Look at J.B Pritzker

The governor of Illinois came out in support of Queer, immigrant, and PoC Illinois resident, and abortion rights in Illinois after he found out about the Election of Trump and loss of the senate stating in a press a urgent public notice:

"This morning, our most vulnerable communities woke up to new uncertainty about their future, scared that their rights will no longer be protected, and unsure whether this nation still stands with them. To women whose healthcare is under even greater threat, to our Black, Brown and AAPI communities, our LGBTQ friends and their families immigrants and first-generation Americans our most vulnerable Americans and those with disabilities, to all who have been made to feel unsafe and unwelcome by the Trump campaign and its allies know that Illinois is your ally. You will always be welcome here"

• 1

And later on Twitter, and at a press release

"To anyone who intends to come take away the freedom, opportunity, and dignity of Illinoisans, I would remind you that a happy warrior is still a warrior. You come for my people – you come through me."

• 2

But it isn't just Pritzker Standing up for marginalized Americans,

The Californian Governor Gavin Newsome of all people scheduled an emergency legislative session of the states courts to set up more protections for California's queer residents, environmental protections, and abortion rights.

• 3

And with Tim Walz still being the Governor of Minnesota

That means there is yet another state protected from trumps plans, I say this because Tim Walz has already done a lot as governor and has stated that he will fight along side us for the rights we deserve

• 4

Many more will most likely follow suite to protect their citizens. But only time will tell.

So for now sit tight, rest as much as you can and try to enjoy the next 2 months, I encourage you to prepare by stocking up on medication, HRT if you take it, and birth control, condoms, and abortion Pills no matter who you are, distribute what you don't need to others who do need them.

Sources below

1. J.B Pritzkers emergency statement

www.nbcchicago.com/news/local/jb-pritzker-promises-illinois-will-be-ally-to-vulnerable-communities-after-trump-win/3594718/

2. Pritzkers Tweets

x.com/GovPritzker/status/1854686495975551159

x.com/GovPritzker/status/1855042365947253187

3. Gavin Newsom legislative session

apnews.com/article/california-donald-trump-gavin-newsom-special-session-32511d5887409d68d692e094ed50a272

4. Tim Walz Tweet

x.com/Tim_Walz/status/1855035690372734998?t=XC8V6HTxbB86XSryln7fAQ&s=19

Right now I feel like I'm in purgatory awaiting my sentencing to hell. Each day drags on, a form of torture in and of its self.

I get to see the people who will be torturing me rejoice. I have to watch as those I care about commit suicide.

All the while knowing nothing I can do will help. Nothing can stop the inevitable

I'm diagnosed Autistic and thus can't flee, because immigration agencies in most countries would turn me away for "being to burdensome on the healthcare system"

And my partner is to.

It took me almost 4 years to get to the point I was at before the results of the election were anounced, I was happy, I was on estrogen and finally. I could see a future worth living in.

All for that to be taken away in one night. Hate won. They won.

The house, The Senate, The SCOTUS, and the POTUS. Nothing can stop them.

My only choice now is to detransition and hope they never find out I'm trans. Or die and serve my proverbial sentence in hell.

https://uofsc.co1.qualtrics.com/jfe/form/SV_6mNYjErHu0gexTg

this is my discord server there's nobody in it when i'm making this post and i'm hoping some people will join its lgbtqia+ and any minority is welcomed it's a safe space for all and it'll be really fun! https://discord.gg/sF3cJaNU78

Hi, I'm here to vent about something: I really like a guy (I'm a bisexual man), I've been attracted to him for almost a year at this point, but that guy doesn't want anything to do with me, I know this because he's probably 100% straight and Anyway, I've NEVER really talked to him (although technically I did, but he didn't know it was me). Anyway, all that doesn't matter, the point of my post in the sifueienre: since he's not going to like me, I've decided that, if I CAN'T have him, I'M GOING TO BE LIKE HIM. At this point, I have almost perfectly imitated his haircut, his way of walking, his style of wearing the school uniform, right now, I even aspire to imitate his way of speaking, to be as good as him at volleyball. . (which is your favorite sport), etc, etc, etc. That's not healthy, right? I love him, I'm in love with him, or at least I think so, or I just have an internalized admiration, what have I believed to be something else all this time? He's graduating this year in a few weeks, and at this point, I really think he suspects SOMETHING about me, and that I think is not necessarily something related to my attempted imitation, but rather that now I think he suspects that I really liked him. him, I also have friends in common with him, anyway.

I'm trans and live in the US, this election coming up is basically a game of life and death for me and many others and it feels so sureal, that this is where I'm at.

I have a boyfriend, I recently got on HRT, I'm saving money to go and visit my boyfriend and maybe move in with him. And all of that could be ripped away.

The hears of rebuilding my mental state and meeting people who accepted me, wasted.

Everything and everyone stripped away.

People I know are in danger. I am in danger.

6 days until my and many others fates essentially come down to a vote. And there's nothing I can do beyond cast my ballot and beg those who aren't voting to do so.

I can't do this much longer

Hello! I am a PhD candidate at the University of Denver’s Graduate School of Social Work. I am currently recruiting participants for my dissertation study that explores the involuntary psychiatric hospitalization experiences of queer and trans young adults through artistic and verbal research methods and a critical/abolitionist lens. I am passionate about improving crisis mental health services for queer and trans folks and imagining less harmful alternatives.

Participants will be asked to create a piece of artwork representing their involuntary hospitalization experience AND complete an individual Zoom interview to discuss their artwork and their hospitalization experience in more depth. Participants must identify as queer and/or trans young adults (ages 18-26) who have at least one experience of involuntary psychiatric hospitalization for suicidality and/or self-injury during adolescence (ages 12-17). Participants from Colorado will be prioritized, but all interested US participants will be considered. 

Participants will receive a $50 gift card for participating in all stages of the study. Participation in this study is voluntary, and all information will be kept private and confidential. Please share this information with individuals and groups who may be interested and eligible to participate. If you are interested in participating, please follow the link to complete a screening survey and determine eligibility: SURVEY LINK.

https://uofsc.co1.qualtrics.com/jfe/form/SV_6mNYjErHu0gexTg

(Posting again because filters made the first post from the beginning of last week difficult to view on app)

Hello everyone! My name is Lizzy Combs (she/her/hers), and I am a doctoral student at the University of South Carolina College of Education in Columbia, South Carolina. I am recruiting for an LGBTQ and more health research survey that examines strengths-based factors such as coping strategies, individual resilience protective factors, and family resilience protective factors on members of the LGBTQ and more community, especially as it relates to substance use. I hope that the results of this study will inform counseling and other mental health treatment practices as well as treatment outcomes for LGBTQ and moreindividuals.

I am looking for participants who identify as being a part of the LGBTQ+ community, are over the age of 18, and live in the United States. Participants should also be able to understand and communicate in English.

To participate, you may select the link above and answer questions (mostly multiple choice and multiple answer, also a few short answer). This survey may take between 15-30 minutes to complete. You will not be asked any personally identifying information. There is no compensation for participation.

If you are interested in this study, please select the link above. If you know anyone who may want to participate, please share the link above with them. This study has been approved by the IRB and if you have any questions, please comment below this post or email me directly at combsel@email.sc.edu.

IRB approval letter is available to to share.

Thank you (again) for your consideration!

Lizzy

So I am now trying to take a break from having casual sex with men. Been having lot of bad relationships experiences involving heartbreak, catfishing and other harms. I was in sauna as stress release but it just leads me to constantly facing rejection, or bad sex or just leaving me feeling Numb afterwards Has anyone else used random casual sex as a way of self harm because I'm realising i have been using casual sex more for stress release and feeling of emptiness than just having fun Even some days when I had grindr I was literally looking at phone for Hours for some attention.

Already I have good secure job, volunteering, community work and good friendships so I will be focusing on them but now taking a break from casual fun until I feel ready enough to either settle down with someone after healing heartache or enjoy fun

Hello All,

Thank you so much for reading this! My name is Alanna Barnes, and I am currently enrolled in the Clinical Psychology doctoral program (Psy.D.) at Chaminade University. I am seeking participants for my dissertation research study. My study aims to create a novel measure of psychological safety. This measure would be used in the psychotherapeutic setting to assess if a client/patient perceives their therapist to have created a psychologically safe environment. To participate, I am asking for individuals to complete an anonymous ten-minute survey. There will also be a raffle for one of three $50 Visa gift cards for any participant who would be comfortable sharing their email address. The email address will be kept confidential and only used for the raffle. Upon the completion of the raffle, all email addresses will be deleted.

To qualify as a participant, here are my inclusion criteria:

• Must be over the age of 18
• Must be located within the United States
• Must be English-speaking
• Must be currently receiving psychotherapy from a licensed mental health professional OR it has been less than a year from your most recent session with a licensed mental health professional 
• At the time of the study, one must have completed at least two sessions with a licensed mental health professional

If you know someone or a group that would be interested in taking this survey, please forward. Lastly, if you qualify to participate and want to participate, please use this link.

This study was approved by the Chaminade IRB on September 30th, 2024 with Protocol Number: CUH 449 2024.

Queer & Non-Queer Research Participants Wanted! 

Have you been (or are currently) in an intimate partner relationship? If so - we are seeking input on your experiences of controlling behaviours within relationships and would appreciate it if you consider participating in our research (see the link/QR code and poster attached!)

My name is Dakota and this study is part of my honours thesis research at MacEwan University in Edmonton, Alberta, Canada. Together with my honours supervisors, Drs. Kristine Peace and Laura Offrey, we are interested in learning about your experiences of coercion and control within intimate relationship contexts. 

Intimate partner conflicts are frequent and unfortunate, and these experiences shape the lives and relationships of many people and groups. Sadly, we still know very little about controlling and coercive behaviours within intimate relationships. As such, this research is important to help us measure common and uncommon experiences, as well as evaluate factors that influence different types of coercion (both experiencing and engaging in it).  

Please note: If the topic of control, coercion, or violence within relationships (or intimate relationships in general) are sensitive topics for you, or may trigger distress or discomfort, please do not participate in this study. We appreciate your consideration, but also want to assure your personal well-being. 

If you would like to be a part of this much needed research, we encourage you to participate in our study. Please click on the link or QR code on the poster! 

LINK: https://macewanpsych.eu.qualtrics.com/jfe/form/SV_eJP7YMWhL7RQtka

This survey is anonymous, which means that no personally identifying information is collected. Once you have clicked on the link, it will take you to a screen that asks you to identify the source of your recruitment, which in this case would be “Online Forum or Reddit Thread”. 

Once selected, you will then be directed to the Consent Form that describes the study in more detail. After reading the consent form, if you want to participate, you will click the ‘I agree’ button and complete the study online. The study is completely online and voluntary (you have no obligation to complete this study). It will take approximately 1 hour (up to 1.5 hours) to complete. This study has been reviewed and received ethics approval through the MacEwan University Research Ethics Board. 

Thank you, in advance, for your participation in this study. Your contributions are very valuable so we appreciate your involvement!

Sincerely,

DD, KP, & LO

Hello everyone! My name is Lizzy Combs (she/her/hers) and I am a doctoral student at the College of Education at the University of South Carolina located in Columbia, South Carolina. I am recruiting for a LGBTQ+ health research survey that examines strengths-based factors such as coping strategies, individual resilience protective factors, and family resilience protective factors on members of the LGBTQ+ community, especially as it relates to substance use. I hope that the results of this study will inform counseling and other mental health treatment practices as well as treatment outcomes for LGBTQ+ individuals.

I am looking for participants that identify as being a part of the LGBTQ+ community, are over the age of 18, and live in the United States. Participants should also be able to understand and communicate in English.

To participate, you may select the link below and answer questions (mostly multiple choice and multiple answer, also a few short answer). This survey may take between 15-30 minutes to complete. You will not be asked any personally identifying information. There is no compensation for participation.

If you are interested in this study, please select the link below. If you know anyone who may want to participate, please share the link below with them. This study has been approved by the IRB and if you have any questions, please comment below this post or email me directly at combsel@email.sc.edu.

https://uofsc.co1.qualtrics.com/jfe/form/SV_6mNYjErHu0gexTg

Thank you for your consideration!

Lizzy

me and my partner have been together since april of this year but i've had this massive crush on them for 3 years before i managed to pull my wit and ask them out. we live in a country where heteronorm is the only way accepted and anything else will bring you a death sentence. now, both of us have been through quite a lot, individually and together, and as much as we communicate, we still harbour a lot of unresolved trauma. personally, i'm still as passively suicidal as i was before i met them. last night, just a mere day after we had our fourth date, they had a relapse and made another attempt. i had no other way of reaching out to them because it was 2am and they lived 3 hours away from my residence. all i could do was text and comfort them since they had no energy to be able to talk, and after a few minutes, they stopped typing after reassuring me that this attempt failed.... i'm just really lost on what to do for them... they told me they felt burdened when someone loved them - it meant they had way too many expectations... the conversation lasted barely 10 minutes but i'm still reeling in utter devastation bcuz i can't reach them and they've deactivated all their accounts... i don't even know any of their friends who live near their place or have contact with them...

Have you been (or are currently) in an intimate partner relationship? If so - we are seeking input on your experiences of controlling behaviours within relationships and would appreciate it if you consider participating in our research (see the link/QR code and poster attached!)

My name is Dakota and this study is part of my honours thesis research at MacEwan University in Edmonton, Alberta, Canada. Together with my honours supervisors, Drs. Kristine Peace and Laura Offrey, we are interested in learning about your experiences of coercion and control within intimate relationship contexts. 

Intimate partner conflicts are frequent and unfortunate, and these experiences shape the lives and relationships of many people and groups. Sadly, we still know very little about controlling and coercive behaviours within intimate relationships. As such, this research is important to help us measure common and uncommon experiences, as well as evaluate factors that influence different types of coercion (both experiencing and engaging in it).  

Please note: If the topic of control, coercion, or violence within relationships (or intimate relationships in general) are sensitive topics for you, or may trigger distress or discomfort, please do not participate in this study. We appreciate your consideration, but also want to assure your personal well-being. 

If you would like to be a part of this much needed research, we encourage you to participate in our study. Please click on the link or QR code on the poster! 

LINK: https://macewanpsych.eu.qualtrics.com/jfe/form/SV_eJP7YMWhL7RQtka

This survey is anonymous, which means that no personally identifying information is collected. Once you have clicked on the link, it will take you to a screen that asks you to identify the source of your recruitment, which in this case would be “Online Forum or Reddit Thread”. 

Once selected, you will then be directed to the Consent Form that describes the study in more detail. After reading the consent form, if you want to participate, you will click the ‘I agree’ button and complete the study online. The study is completely online and voluntary (you have no obligation to complete this study). It will take approximately 1 hour (up to 1.5 hours) to complete. This study has been reviewed and received ethics approval through the MacEwan University Research Ethics Board. 

Thank you, in advance, for your participation in this study. Your contributions are very valuable so we appreciate your involvement!

Sincerely,

DD, KP, & LO

hi all,

recently been feeling horrible about my identity as a gay man (17). a lot of struggles growing up in a conservative homophobic immigrant family. this entire situation has always felt extremely isolating--is there anyone with a similar experience that would be willing to talk?

Have you been (or are currently) in an intimate partner relationship? If so - we are seeking input on your experiences of controlling behaviours within relationships and would appreciate it if you consider participating in our research (see the link/QR code and poster attached!)

My name is Dakota and this study is part of my honours thesis research at MacEwan University in Edmonton, Alberta, Canada. Together with my honours supervisors, Drs. Kristine Peace and Laura Offrey, we are interested in learning about your experiences of coercion and control within intimate relationship contexts. 

Intimate partner conflicts are frequent and unfortunate, and these experiences shape the lives and relationships of many people and groups. Sadly, we still know very little about controlling and coercive behaviours within intimate relationships. As such, this research is important to help us measure common and uncommon experiences, as well as evaluate factors that influence different types of coercion (both experiencing and engaging in it).  

Please note: If the topic of control, coercion, or violence within relationships (or intimate relationships in general) are sensitive topics for you, or may trigger distress or discomfort, please do not participate in this study. We appreciate your consideration, but also want to assure your personal well-being. 

If you would like to be a part of this much needed research, we encourage you to participate in our study. Please click on the link or QR code on the poster! 

LINK: https://macewanpsych.eu.qualtrics.com/jfe/form/SV_eJP7YMWhL7RQtka

This survey is anonymous, which means that no personally identifying information is collected. Once you have clicked on the link, it will take you to a screen that asks you to identify the source of your recruitment, which in this case would be “Online Forum or Reddit Thread”. 

Once selected, you will then be directed to the Consent Form that describes the study in more detail. After reading the consent form, if you want to participate, you will click the ‘I agree’ button and complete the study online. The study is completely online and voluntary (you have no obligation to complete this study). It will take approximately 1 hour (up to 1.5 hours) to complete. This study has been reviewed and received ethics approval through the MacEwan University Research Ethics Board. 

Thank you, in advance, for your participation in this study. Your contributions are very valuable so we appreciate your involvement!

Sincerely,

DD, KP, & LO

https://www.aljazeera.com/news/2024/9/25/thailand-to-allow-same-sex-couples-to-marry-in-january

Have you been (or are currently) in an intimate partner relationship? If so - we are seeking input on your experiences of controlling behaviours within relationships and would appreciate it if you consider participating in our research (see the link/QR code and poster attached!)

My name is Dakota and this study is part of my honours thesis research at MacEwan University in Edmonton, Alberta, Canada. Together with my honours supervisors, Drs. Kristine Peace and Laura Offrey, we are interested in learning about your experiences of coercion and control within intimate relationship contexts. 

Intimate partner conflicts are frequent and unfortunate, and these experiences shape the lives and relationships of many people and groups. Sadly, we still know very little about controlling and coercive behaviours within intimate relationships. As such, this research is important to help us measure common and uncommon experiences, as well as evaluate factors that influence different types of coercion (both experiencing and engaging in it).  

Please note: If the topic of control, coercion, or violence within relationships (or intimate relationships in general) are sensitive topics for you, or may trigger distress or discomfort, please do not participate in this study. We appreciate your consideration, but also want to assure your personal well-being. 

If you would like to be a part of this much needed research, we encourage you to participate in our study. Please click on the link or QR code on the poster! 

LINK: https://macewanpsych.eu.qualtrics.com/jfe/form/SV_eJP7YMWhL7RQtka

This survey is anonymous, which means that no personally identifying information is collected. Once you have clicked on the link, it will take you to a screen that asks you to identify the source of your recruitment, which in this case would be “Online Forum or Reddit Thread”. 

Once selected, you will then be directed to the Consent Form that describes the study in more detail. After reading the consent form, if you want to participate, you will click the ‘I agree’ button and complete the study online. The study is completely online and voluntary (you have no obligation to complete this study). It will take approximately 1 hour (up to one hour) to complete. This study has been reviewed and received ethics approval through the MacEwan University Research Ethics Board. 

Thank you, in advance, for your participation in this study. Your contributions are very valuable so we appreciate your involvement!

Sincerely,

DD, KP, & LO

Hi all, I'm not sure if this will go through with the guidelines but, I'm currently a college student working on a project regarding a wellness app, and I was hoping to get some user feedback on it. The app focuses on different aspects of human wellbeing with the idea of being personized to its user. If anyone is interested in trying it out to help provide some thoughts or still has some questions, please let me know! I have a flier with with app info as well as the survey for after.

*Put this up in a couple places because the first place I tried didn't get many responses

TL DR: I was asked to put this but you kind of need the context to understand the dilemma but to sum it up.. 30 years of terrible experiences, building my way out of ending up homeless and drug addicted but now that I have found stability and some peace, the past experiences haunt me to the point that I'm finding it extremely difficult try to find a relationship due to fear and anger but it's something that I (and everyone else in this world basically) want..is it better to just give up or try something radically different...what would you do and how??? Thanks

This is going to be a long one..

I'm going to start with a little context... M34, childhood trauma, teenage trouble with the law, past drug addiction, bad relationships, drugged and sexually assaulted and general lack of stability and direction. This was my first 22 years of life.

When I was 22, I met a women (caseworker at a nonprofit that supports youth) who got me into supportive housing, and it changed my life. I grew some confidence and self-respect, dropped the drugs (because I didn't need to run from problems anymore), mended relationships (besides my family... I haven't seen or talked to them for 17 years - my choice), created a routine, and started to build my life up. I even started helping other clients in the house, which my caseworker saw and talked me into going to college then transferring into uni to get a bachelors in social work(majority funded by the non-profit ...or at least donors that were interested in my story), I became "peer support worker" while I was in school (basically I would support clients who weren't connecting with their workers, run social drop ins, and tell my story to potential donors).

Throughout all of this turn around, I was with a guy(16 year age difference - he was 39 when I met him at 22) that (at first) I trusted, but it turns out he was doing drugs and cheating on me anytime I would leave the apartment or anytime he would go out. Sometimes even doing it in front of me! I know, people tried to tell me to leave and we had fights all the time and I would threaten it. However, I knew that I could not afford to live by myself in an expensive city. The apartment I am talking about was basically a bachelors, so there was no place to go for respite. There were situations during the days I had classes, work, and then homework and also being up until 5am because there were people partying and having sex, even being in situations where I (I don't want to say forced but literally just giving in so in so it would hurry up and finish and I could go to bed) participated..

So, i finish school (still haven't done a masters - I just don't think I have it in me) and I become a social worker and work for the non-profit that helped me (and I oversee supportive housing, one of them being the house I lived in).

Me and that guy live together for 10 years and we had said we were in relationship and we had more or less come to an understanding that we were together for financial stability and a strange support system (but we had stopped having sex within the first year and half when he almost gave me an std). We have since parted ways but I have come to understand the way racial, ethnic, and sexual trauma collide and drug dependency and sex becomes a coping mechanism (and he is functioning with it as he can maintain his job and pay his bills, etc). I see him as family. I've got my own (pretty nice) place and am independent but we help each other out when we can are there for each other on bdays and such.

But, all of this has created this version of me that is kind of disgusted with what I have seen and experienced on my travels through the darker side of the gay community. I've completely lost faith in love and sex, trust and community...anything that has to do with "pride" annoys me and fills me with contempt. Even being around gay men makes me anxious.

I don't really believe in horoscopes but coincidentally, I am a Virgo but also the most stereotypical Virgo there possibly could be. I have not had sex in 11 years (and without being mindful sometimes) I'll say it with a type of self-satisfaction that seems strange for the situation. It's not like I haven't had people interested...

Well, I was pretty attractive at the beginning of the relationship with the ex and most the guys he would bring in were more interested in me which would upset him...around year 4 in the relationship(with all the stress) I started to gain weight and went up to about 280. After we move from that bachelor apt and then decided to part ways 3 years ago, I had slimmed back down and have received more attention but I can't will myself to reciprocate.

I don't find the idea of having sex appealing but I do j/o and watch adult videos once in a while. I want to find a partner but I am also scared about being cheated on and having my heart broken and just can't do that another time. I feel like I'm missing out, people make connections through sex and although I have a good (but kind of small) group of friends, I know they are either out exploring or at home with a faithful partner.

I've been to all types of therapy but it hasn't really helped or addressed this issue. I don't know what to do... I feel like I'm standing at a crossroad. Either a path of loneliness but safety or passion and love but risk.

What would you do or what would you recommend?

Thanks for reading.

I’ve been in a relationship for a while now and I have seen improvements in many areas, but one area that seems to be lacking and minimal improvement relates to her avoiding discussions about feelings and allowing me to be emotional when things in our relationship aren’t working.

She says that she’s happy in our relationship and that I must be the problem if I’m the one unsatisfied in our relationship. She always invalidates my feelings when I’m upset about something she did that hurt my feelings and makes it about her being criticized.

For example we had plans today and she canceled last minute and I said, “I feel like my time was wasted and wished you had let me know 3 hours earlier that you would cancel our plans for the day.” She would respond being like “I’m sorry we’ll reschedule tomorrow, it’s not that big of a deal, I don’t know why you’re acting so emotional about this.” For context, we had an argument the day before about me feeling stressed and that I don’t feel respected, so I would’ve thought she would’ve been more considerate especially right after this. It made me feel like I was penalized for speaking my feelings the day prior.

She always wants my positive side and never lets me feel safe to express my negative thoughts so I usually try to suppress and distract, but I know that’s not a long term healthy way to cope. We have a lot of differing wants in the future and she still hasn’t come out to her parents and she lives at home with them, which has been a strain because it limits the time we have together like a typical couple would (ex. never spending the night - only when we go on vacation together, ending our nights at 7pm on weekdays and 8/9pm on weekends).

Ever since we started dating she placed such restrictions because she’s in the closet and it just feels very limiting and is making me feel disconnected in our relationship. She says that I should be patient and that it takes baby steps, but it’s been over 2 years. She says she wants to continue to do what she can to improve our relationship, and I know she tries, but the way she tries it feels inconsistent.

I feel like I’m at a point where I’m getting impatient and feel less connected, but I also want to stay in the relationship because of our history, we do have love for each other, we continue to try, and I can’t imagine her not in my life.

My main goal is I want to make things work, but I need advice on if I’m approaching this in a healthy mindset or not.

Hi friends, basically to keep it short I’ve been struggling with lots of dysphoria and harmful thoughts lately. I am a 6’4 220lb AMAB person who is still discovering if I am nonbinary or transfem, however I have always had a desire to be seen as feminine and to potentially pass as female one day. Unfortunately for my circumstances I know there is no way that I will ever be able to achieve this as I already spent 2 years trying to help feminize myself to no avail. Should I give up and suppress this part of myself? Or should I ignore this and keep going? Any response is appreciated I just feel very alone right now.