Sometimes if I have an intrusive thought that’s particularly distressing, I almost feel some sort of urge to get as close to is as possible without actually doing it, if that makes sense?

Like for example years ago I had the intrusive thought that I could jump off a balcony, so I held on as tight as I could, and leaned over the edge a couple times. It’s was like my way of proving to my brain that it’s not going to happen? I actually think I can remember saying to myself “see it’s not going to happen”

There have been a few others. & it just really bothers me that I feel compelled to get closer to these things. It makes me fear one day I’ll actually act on one of them, even though I know I wouldn’t.

Any insight or anyone that’s experienced the same would be appreciated.

2-3 years ago when things got really bad for me, I started having frequent disturbing thoughts before sleep. Sometimes it's just like a short clip or a short slide show that has disturbing and non-sense theme. I'm pretty sure I was awake. It's not like those typical intrusive thoughts where I imagined myself push someone off the train track or hurt someone. It's more like those terrifying scene in the terror movies (I don't watch them). Back then I frequently needed to call my friends and asked them to stay with me virtually.

After I took Lexapro, this rarely occurred. Fast forward to today, yesterday night, I started having those kind of thoughts again. Whenever I closed my eyes, images like: someone smashed a lady's head everywhere, twist the neck; scary face on the top of the public washroom door; intestine being sucked out; head flying across the staircase and smashed into the window.... all these images were like throwing at me one after another. I wasn't as scared as a couple years ago, but it's annoying and it's still disturbing. It's like I can't think of anything cuz anything would turn into those disturbing contents.

Just a little bit of background: I'm in the process of tapering Pristiq; I've got a subconsciously perceived stressful trip coming up; lately I've been feeling pretty numb and emotionally disconnected, it's like my brain is trying to shut down. I've been doing pretty ok (not thinking about all the details about the trips) until yesterday. Feeling like my brain is flooded.

Can someone relate?? I don't know why I would have these kind of thoughts. Like my brain could've chosen ruminating about everything in the past and the near future, but instead it's giving me all these terrifying contents.

My intrusive thoughts won again. This time I put cat shit on my food so I gotta throw it out but I got a thoughts to eat the food with shits on it but i won so i throw the food out

Has anyone else found their intrusive thoughts get worse when the mind is quiet, doing activities such as mindfulness or meditating?

Being in the present moment and being self aware is really rewarding for me but these thoughts keeps distracting me when the mind is quiet. They then cause me to ruminate because it says something that will trigger me. I also keep hearing my name being called?

I live in a low-income neighborhood where lots of toddler-aged kids are neglected and left to roam the streets on their own. Why don't they get hit by speeding vehicles? Why is it always small animals?

I am having sex thoughts about an adult emollient half my age. The first time it happened I thought it was just because he was sect and I've been practicing abstinence for almost 7 years. Then I got to know him and it is more often. I'm dreaming of throwing him on my desk and having my way with him.

I need these thoughts to go away. He is my employee and he is way younger than me. My friend says to transfer him to a near by office. Another friend said just hint at it and see how he reacts. Another said not to do either - he said I'm only thinking this way because I've been celibate since my ex-husband left.

What do you guys think I should do to just make the rights go away?

You read it. When I see frogs i got that feeling to torture it in anyway, I tried to control the intrusive thoughts but I jst cant do it. I've killed a bunch of lil frogs and I'm not going to more details cuz I ain't typing allat

[ Removed by Reddit on account of violating the content policy. ]

Today started out fine and now this evening my thoughts became negative and I started to over think. Eventually, my thinking became darker.

1I want to kill jayden he insults and hurts my gf the name of him brings me rage

A few years ago, I dated this, not so nice fella. This one time, I made him some coffee. I pride myself on making a really good cup-o-Joe and was excited for him to try it. I asked what he would like in it and he wanted cream and sugar. My type of guy! So I fixed it up for him and gave it to him. After a few min of sitting together, I asked how he liked the coffee. His response: It would be better if the sugar was stirred in all of the way. Honestly, I don't remember what I said back to that.

But, almost 3 years later, 80% of the time when I am making my own coffee, stirring in that sugar, he comes to mind. I then think to myself, better stir in that sugar well.

Ha!

And then pooping ever so slightly putting a nose and eyes on it to make it look like the pokemon Diglett

If I had to have this thought then so do you

Happy Thanksgiving everyone.

Long story short, I’ve had a lot of intrusive thoughts in my mind, and I shouldn’t have said any of it when talking to myself. I should’ve ignored it, it got to the point where it became erratic talking with the intrusive thoughts. I should’ve controlled myself to not say it. For quite some time, I’ve been constantly thinking to stay quiet. And to think before I speak and type.

For example, a while ago, I said an offensive word (w slur) when talking to myself, and right after I said it, I was crying. I should’ve known better to not say it, since it’s an offensive word and a racial slur. I’ve also had a thought that I wouldn’t like it if I were to be Mexican or Hispanic and someone said that to me. I don’t want to be a racist person. The good thing is I’m self aware, (I hope).

I’m not trolling at all, I’m struggling with this.

I’ve been emailing therapists and I haven’t gotten a reply back.

I’m hoping I can get the help soon and everything will get better for me. :(

(p-ocd is an obsessive fear of being a pedophilia)

i hate myself for it, I know I'm not one but my intrusive thoughts are so disgusting they make me wanna throw up, I just want someone to hear me out and relate to it but if I ever mention it irl they'd freak out

Only one I know of is Zoloft...

Need to know so I know what to request from my therapist..

I've also been thinking about how it might be a constructive outlet for such thoughts if I made music revolving around a character that was all those things...if I had any talent for writing music. Also, despite what my aunt has said/would say, I don't think I have the voice for solo vocals. Unless maybe I mimic Jaret Reddick or something

I saw a guy earlier today who took the nastiest shit in the restroom and didn't wash his hands. I went right behind him and in a conversational tone said, "Hey man, did you just use the restroom and didn't wash your hands?" He either didn't hear me or I just wasn't loud enough. I wanted to scream at the top of my lungs, "This guy took a shit and didn't wash his hands!" but was too scared to.

Hi.

For the past week, I've (20M) been experiencing some very disturbing intrusive thoughts. Particularly, this involves children. They're... graphic. I was considering suicide a few days ago because I thought I might be a pdf, but I realized they're actually intrusive thoughts because they don't arouse me, rather they disturb me. I also don't feel aroused when I see kids outside.

Yesterday, at around 2AM, I stayed up late finishing a school project. I was really tired both physically and mentally - from school, from the guilt and shame, from trying to cope with my anxiety, everything. I tried to sleep but the intrusive thoughts would not stop. Each time I tried to tell my mind to shut the fuck up, it would give me a more graphic image.

At around the 10th image or something... I remember thinking, "I guess that's not so bad." And then when I realized I thought that... I got really scared. Why didn't I react with disgust anymore? Why did I just... suddenly become apathetic??

I started feeling suicidal again but I thought what if it was just a combination of lack of sleep and simple exhaustion from being tortured with vivid images? What if my mind just... shut down, after being tortured by these intrusive thoughts non-stop for like 7 days in a row now? Because I'm wide awake and alert right now, and I definitely feel disgusted at the thoughts, not apathetic.

Again... I want to clarify, I did not feel aroused. I don't leer at children. I don't fantasize about them, fictional or real. I wish these thoughts would just go away and never come back. It's getting to the point where I'm having trouble concentrating on school because I feel so fucking gross. I feel afraid to talk to my friends about this because I don't know how they might react. And I'm even more scared to talk to my therapist (I already have one, but I only talked to them about my depression; I never had this problem before) because what if they misunderstand, and report me or something?

I don't know what to do... or think anymore... I feel disgusted at myself that I just... became apathetic to the images... why didn't I react with disgust? I'm scared that it secretly means I want it... but I know I want nothing to do with it. At all. I know I would never do that, or even want it. Please help

Why do I keep imagining this I don't actually want to do it.

So i accidently broke down and told her everything, she thankfully didn't judge me and understood my intrusive thoughts were just thoughts, and the fiction i sought out after my trauma and the reactions i had were normal thank you so much to all that looked at and shared my post!

Help. I need someone to help me find out what this is. I cannot take it anymore. I have intrusive thoughts on harming others. Things have said that it is harm ocd but I just don’t know. When I’m angry and at someone and I have a thought I don’t get anxious. When I’m mad at someone it feels like I want to. 10 minutes later when I’m not angry all I do is get anxiety. It feels like I’m gonna act out on something and it feels like I’m starting to like it. Even though I truly know that I don’t want too and that i know I don’t like it. Is this harm ocd? Or could it be possibly something else? Someone. Anyone. Let me know. I can’t take this anymore.

When I'm alone sometimes I feel like I have cuts on my arms or legs, and I react like it is real. I have said "ouch", or held up my arm, waved around my arms because there is blood on it dripping down. I don't see blood on my arms but my head convinces me there are. So I can kinda see blood. I have has persecutory delusions and maybe hallucinated before. Also for a year I had imaginary people that I interacted with too. I lowkey dont even know if i have bipolar but i saw a psychiatrist once and she said i might.

I have bipolar disorder and sometimes have intrusive thoughts. Sometimes they are violent (self injurious, accidents happening to loved ones). My most common one is coprophagia.

Eating poop.

I have religious trauma (which includes strict food laws) and a history of eating issues (paranoia about allergies, and feeling like I don't deserve to eat, binging on sweets).

I'm wondering how much of these two factors come together to make up these disgusting images of myself eating my dogs feces? Is there a correlation here or is it completely random? Can helping my food issues and religious trauma help this thought go away?

I’m 16 and I’m currently on a therapy waitlist due to trauma, neurodivergence and mental illnesses. I was groomed and brutally assaulted 2 years ago and I haven’t been the same since. I’ve always had disturbing intrusive thoughts but they were not as bad or intense and more in the back of my mind. I struggle with thoughts of me committing violent acts against myself or others or thoughts of me saying racist things but this is NOT THE PERSON I WANT TO BE and the things I’m thinking are scaring me and I’m scared one day I’ll act on them. I really don’t want to. I don’t want to be a violent, suicidal or racist person at all. I feel like a horrible person.

I feel that if I did not know the symptoms of schizophrenia I would not have these thoughts, I had never thought about these things until I read about delusions and paranoia on Google, since then I have had delusional thoughts although I am aware that they are lies and do not make sense, When I have one and I remember that I read it on Google it calms me down and I think it may be due to an obsession, the problem is when I don't remember if I read it on Google or not and that's when I get scared that it is caused by schizophrenia

So the US economy is basically invitation only, meaning if your parents won’t give you your SSN card before you know what your own numbers are, and they won’t give you your birth certificate you basically can’t work here legally. This gives me so much nightmares. I use to live with a sociopathic drug addicted narcissist who would basically do anything for drugs. I have recurring intrusive thoughts of him gotten his hands onto my ssn card before I did, then collaborate with a potential employer so that I would work there but still don’t know my own ssn, and then deposit my salary into his bank account, effectively making me his slave, this thought is so fking disturbing because I know if he had the chance he would.

On second thought, does any one know if this can actually happen?

I feel sick to my stomach having to write this, now, im not coming on here for any sympathy because what I did was really weird and I can accept that. But I don’t know what to do anymore im struggling so much. Ive been struggling with OCD for all of my life. Since I was younger I would get into routines and every few months it would change into different things. And then the intrusive thoughts started. I used to get them when I was younger but it was never as bad as they have been for over a year now. It just randomly started one random day last year and it hasn’t gone away since. I haven’t had a break and I am so tired. And one of the worst ones which has become an obsession is that I like my brother. When i know I really don’t and it makes me feel sick to my stomach to think about but idk how else to explain it but this. Theres my brother, and then in my head theres just a name and its like my head has created its own version of it. Now this is the part that quite literally haunts me and I have nearly thrown up every time it comes into mind. I am 15 and a few years ago I was having some private time with myself. Bare in my mind I was not thinking of him whatsoever and im sorry if this is tmi but I was thinking of this girl I had a crush on. and then all of a sudden i accidentally said half of his name but then stopped. I feel disgusting and gross and idk what to do because i know these thoughts aren’t real because it makes me feel disgusting and sick but then i think of that and it makes me doubt everything. Again I don’t want any sympathy just pls pls tell me if this is unforgivable i really just dont know what to do ive been so close to ending it because of this i feel gross.

i’m writing this because i genuinely don’t know what to do anymore. i feel like i’m stuck and trapped, i don’t even feel like i’m real anymore

my name is iris and ever since i was 13 i’ve been struggling with intrusive thoughts, i remember the day when the thoughts started perfectly

i was gonna go with my dad to a car show and then all of sudden while i was getting ready i got hit with waves of thoughts telling me my brother assaulted me when i was younger (for the record he did not at all) but my brain kept telling me “are you SURE he didn’t” and making up false memories

i remember looking up symptoms online because i was so scared and seeing all the different ocd but specifically pocd caught my eye and i remember thinking how awful that must be

then a week later i was at the library and a little girl was checking out books and i don’t feel comfortable discussing what the thoughts were but they were horrific

i knew it was pocd because i’ve never had thoughts like this before and i was and still am attracted and aroused from people my own age

but for the past 6 years i would see a image of a little girl and have bad thoughts but i would do certain things (i call them rituals) to make them go away or i would constantly stare at pictures just to make sure i wasn’t really attracted, or i would distract myself with things i love

but recently they have gotten to the worse it’s ever been and i hate typing this out but i don’t know what else to do.

for context. i have this thing when sometimes i think a bad thing and connect it to something that’s important to me (a tv show, friends, games etc) and it gets “ruined” for me and every time i look at that thing all i see are the bad thoughts

i was planning to go to this concert for this artist im been excited to go to for years and usually when i’m excited for something my brain likes to torture me with the bad thoughts so i can’t enjoy it (if that makes sense)

so i’m just in my kitchen and all of a sudden i was hit with awful sexual thoughts about a young male relative of mine, not only was the concert ruined but i couldn’t stop thinking about him but i’ve been having thoughts about him since then

a important thing to note is that for years the thoughts have only been young girls (never ever boys) and every time i my brain would try and think about him i would push it away easily so that would bring me comfort with that that i’m not really a pe*o

i’ve usually been able to manage it but since the election (which was a major trigger for me) i can’t stop thinking the bad thoughts now my brain keeps attacking me telling me “if you touch him, all the thoughts will all go away” but i swear to god i don’t want to, i really really don’t to but it keeps telling me to

and that’s what scaring me right now, not the thoughts but the URGE telling me to, and i promise you i would never do it and i have no other urge to besides making the thoughts go away but now it’s making me question if i’m actually am a pe*o

sorry if there are typos or this seems very erratic but i’m writing this in a crisis i don’t know what else to do and if i don’t get better by next year i have to do my last resort