As the title says, I come here looking for advice. Mostly I can deal with my intrusive thoughts, but when I'm at work it becomes unbearable. They tend to be violent, but sometimes they are also sexual - or even both. Lately I've been feeling very exhausted and it's becoming increasingly difficult for me to simply ignore them and move on, especially when I have to interact with small children. It ruins me, it eats me up inside. When I feel like I'm going to explode I turn to Klonopin, but I can't be sedated at work. What should I do to deal with them most efficiently?

Does anyone else get intrusive thoughts that are sort of like a voice in your head? Not like it's speaking, but more like they're beamed into your head. I'll be doing something ordinary and suddenly I 'hear' a (usually inappropriate) saying. Wondering if this is a me thing or if others have this too.

Diagnosed with OCD and have intrusive thoughts all the time

Its mostly SA or Rape. I hate it so much. It makes me cry sometimes. I hate the thought of doing that to someone but its mostly my Ex that I think about doing that to. Driving over to her house and doing awful and horrendous shit..It sucks. Even my own parents, like shooting them while there asleep, or taking the but her knife and chopping off my little brothers fingers. And the thought become so suicidal sometimes I dont even know whats real anymore. I dont know what to do about it. Ive never told anyone because the last time I went to a therapist I was in the mental hospital the next hour after or so. Im terrified I’ll act on it, Im only 16 years old. Its causing me emotional turmoil, and sometimes I’ll even agree with the thoughts which makes me hate myself. I dont know what to think or do anymore. I think subconsciously I just want her back after she left me and cheated, and Im young as shit I know. But why have these thoughts I cant control? Why doee it have to be so brutal? I dont understand. I dont wanna hurt anybody, I dont wanna do any of THAT to any body either because I’ve endured that horrible shit all my life. Im scared. I have no way to control them.

i am so happy

I’ll think or do something and then an idea would pop up like “you think like this person, or act like that person” or “this thing you do you are now worse at” and I don’t wanna let my subconscious believe in it, I would also try and reverse sentences or backtrack on what I was thinking, certain things I don’t wanna do or move because it might set the thoughts off

I used to make promises to God/Gods about not doing certain ocd comulsion and I was asking for a non-specific punishment in case breaking those promises, in order to use the fear of the punishment to force myself not to do the compulsions. I thought that it was the only way out.

One day, I explained to God/Gods that I did not mean those promises and that a real promise would be meant only if I really mean it, if I underrstand what I am promising and if i validate the promise by doing a specific gesture 3 times.

One night, I was some meters outside of my house on my way to go somewhere. Ocd stopped me and started telling me to return home to get other napkins in order to use them instead for a cleaning compulsion.

I did not do the compulsion and ocd kept bugging me. So, I tried to make a promise/deal. I said something about being cursed if in case I return home just for the reason to get other napkins for the cleaning compulsion.

While saying these words, I was afraid that I may mess up my words and make the promise easily breakable accidentally. So, while saying those words carefully, I also visualised with images in my mind what exactly breaks the promise.

So, I pointed to the path that lead to home from spot where I was and visualised that specific path in my mind.

I tried to validate the promise by doing the validation gesture but I stopped before completing it. I canceled the promise/deal and explained to God/Gods that I did not mean it and I just tried to find some relief from my ocd.

Thnks to this deal, I ignored what my ocd was telling me.

That was 6 years ago and now, I worry for some hypothetical scenarios.

1. What if God/Gods accepted the promise/deal just because I said the words intensely? despite that the validation gesture was not completed?

2. What if God/Gods did not cancel the promise/deal even though I canceled it?

3. What if I sleepwalked some days after the promise? What if I did the compulsion some days after the promise while sleepwalking?

4. Was the promise/deal only for that specific circumastance or not?

As the title says, i have never committed any offences to the best of my knowledge and would never wish to harm anyone, but i have such terrible intrusive thoughts about rape, or doing or being part in terrible acts. I am 20, have messaged 18 year olds before online, and i feel so disgusted in myself for being this way. I don't believe I've done anything wrong, but it's ruining my life.

new here, but i'll try to explain my dream. it started with me laying down in my bed. i was squishing my skin bc it looked like there was a blackhead there, but this other voice in the room told me it was a "filament". somehow my skin opened bc of the hole left there, but there wasn't any muscle, tissue, or bone deep into the surface. instead, there were pills inside of my skin, like the regular capsules. when i woke up, i couldn't help but feel disgusted with myself. it's been bad recently where i just breakdown and scratch/pick at my skin so there's scars on my body that have formed. i keep trying to remind myself that dreams aren't factual; that it's stupid to think that there's pills in my skin, but the image from my dream is already ingrained in my head. most of my intrusive thoughts have been similar to this and my dreams exacerbate this. i just want to know that i'm not alone.

I do not want to do hard drugs sober. I never have. I told myself since I was a child that I would not indulge in such a thing. I have BPD and am on a lot of medication. I know I should not drink, but the past few times I have; I've craved hard drugs. I am no longer taking part in drinking alcohol for my medication, and so I do not give into a temptation. Anyone else relate? Or have felt this before?

Context: When I was 13, I was SA'd by my best friend and 15 by my ex boyfriend. I can't stop thinking about doing it to my current bf. I've told them I've had the urges to and that I hate thinking this way and he said he'd let it happen. But I can't just get the thought out of my head, every time I see his face I get this thought. It's been in my head ever since me and him started to get down. The thought makes me awfully aroused and I hate this fact

I recently had a horrible intrusive thought and since then I can't get it out my head.

My husband had just got back from being somewhere and I heard "I dont love you", in my voice, when I saw him.

I think it's an intrusive thought because I had no control over it, it came completely out of the blue, and it's really upsetting. I've been with my husband for over a decade, I adore him and I've spent pretty much all that time blissfully and unquestionably in love with him.

I've gone through a lot of trauma recently - I had a miscarriage, I came off my anti depressants (I had this thought in the first week or so of coming off them).

The thing is I last had the same thought when I saw my ex. I stayed with him for years after thinking the thought was an intrusive thought and nothing more, but I was wrong and I always pinpoint that moment as the time when I should have started the break up process with him.

But this thought is haunting me with my husband too. When I tell him I love him (and think I mean it) I hear my voice telling me I'm a liar, or "no you dont" and its freaking me out completely. I can't be intimate with him at the moment because the voice is taking over my head while we're at it.

What do I do? With any other upsetting intrusive thought I've had I've told him about it and that's taken away it's power and then I've been fine but I don't feel like I can or should tell him about this one. He's already feeling so shitty about everything I feel like if I tell him this it's going to really mess him up. I don't know what else to do though.

I've spent the whole day trying to get in touch with some sort of helpline that can help. If anyone's got any advice I'd really appreciate it.

i think i’ve lost all sanity

Don’t even have tooth pain or anything but this is one of my most common intrusive thoughts lol

I feel like im just wating for something I feel so uneasy and I get intrusive thoughts. Sometimes I get thoughts about death and how it probobly is like sleeping so it makes me intrusivilly think about kys btw I don't wanna acutally do it but like my anxiety makes me thinking Intrusivilly and it makes me feel uneasy.

So it's all my mind can think of at the moment bc I have an entrance exam for my nursing program coming up.

I. Keep thinking of what if this or that happens, one wrong turn, just alot .. the first time I went down there I made it I was fine but it's like to my mind it doesn't matter.

It still looms over my mind..

Even if someone is taking me. I'd have to like sleep along the way or something.

Also I have a scheduled mental health appointment and I'm afraid to be honest and open. Feel ashamed. I want to try medication but I'm afraid it'll make me feel worse off than I already am.

I just want the meds to work.

So it all started when I just thought of Satan. That same night, I had a really bad bad dream about a loved one and woke up. The dream just had a really bad vibe to it, and it got me thinking…was it because I thought of him? Since then I’ve been thinking about Satan, not because I want to but out of fear. I then came across this post that he can actually hear your thoughts.That’s when I started to overthink things like…what if I thought of the most offensive thoughts towards him. I ended up doing it, and of course I was so damn uncomfortable…but I could not control my fear. One night I had a really bad dream again of souls that were driven to insanity, and they were pulling me to them. I immediately woke up, and saw a silhouette of a demon that lingered for a long time and disappeared.

pls pls pls pls pls tell me

I had severe anxiety 2 years ago now things are fine but i still get super anxious sometimes Entire day my brain hit me with RAPE RAPE or something would cause me humiliation and guilt I cannot walk behind people bcz then i think i am stalking them i feel very upset is there a solution to this

I’m 25m, and I deal with daily (if not more frequent) sexual intrusive thoughts. This includes picturing sexual actions and activities between myself and others, or just others. I don’t intentionally do any of the imagining, it just suddenly pops into my mind— idk if you guys and girls can resonate with how difficult it is to constantly be on alert for inappropriate, nsfw content inside your own mind. There’s no image blockers there.

Some background: I grew up in a strict, religious family, had little to no personal autonomy and didn’t date or barely even talk to girls until I was a teenager. In addition to that I was the victim of child-on-child sexual assault and incest— I learned about sex through those experiences. I didn’t start processing those events until I reached adulthood and honestly by then years of trauma and years more of avoiding dealing with the trauma really did a number on my brain. I’ve never been diagnosed but I would consider myself hyper sexual (or at least more than is normal), but of course it comes from an abundance of experiencing that at a very young and formative age.

Anyway, intrusive thoughts. Some weeks are better than others, I go through periods of time that are more difficult (with more intrusive thoughts I mean). I have a very active imagination in general, and I think it’s because I experienced sex as a child, and experienced incest as a child, so the lowest levels of my brain’s functioning can’t distinguish that from normal, healthy sex. I don’t have the same gut-rejection that I see so many people express about incest or sexualizing minors. I wanna clarify and make sure everyone knows I’m not interested in acting on these thoughts, I know why it’s wrong and I don’t ever want to act on them. Ive never fantasized about a family member or a minor, but i wanted to make the connection between my traumatic past and my current issues.

I don’t know if that makes sense, kind of tired and don’t want to reread it. TLDR: I experience intrusive sexual thoughts about minors, sometimes family, even animals. It’s gotten too much to deal with right now, wanted to unload. I just started with a new therapist cause I couldn’t afford it before (can’t afford it now but what else am I supposed to do), but this hasn’t really come up yet in our first couple of sessions.

I have been dealing with several scary thoughts for about two to three months now. (For reference I am a 17 year old male). These thoughts originated from watching the show Criminal Minds with my mom where it goes into depth about several kinds of criminals (including pedophiles). I have what feels like hundreds of intrusive thoughts daily. I live in constant fear that I am a pedophile or becoming one. I feel like I fit the criteria of a pedophile seeing as I have severely low self esteem which has kept me from having a girlfriend even though I know I want one. For a while I have felt that I am not good enough but ever since I have had these thoughts I don’t feel like I should ever be loved. My severe low self esteem most likely is as a result of a porn addiction I developed between my freshman and sophomore year. It is to the point where I try to avoid anything and everything that might involve or make me think of children. Even just the word children in it of itself makes me feel uncomfortable. I feel so drained and disgusted with myself that I would even have these kinds of thoughts. Just trying to get some sleep is difficult because I’m afraid to close my eyes and see a mental image of something. It’s as though every second of every day I feel like I want to run away from my own thoughts and life but can’t. I’ve tried to research all I can about POCD but none of it seems to help. It only makes me worry more. And I’m not willing to search up information directly about pedophiles out of fear that I will see a picture of a minor and be attracted to it. The only thing I know for sure is that a pedophile has to be 17 or older, and be attracted to them for at least six months. I feel like the clock is just ticking away until it’s too late for me.

I feel most terrified about the possibility of being attracted to girls who are not my age or younger. From what I know about pedophiles they are usually attracted to a certain age group and gender. I know for a fact that I am straight which is why I worry about being attracted to underage girls the most. However, I still feel extreme discomfort around boys that are underage. To the point where I can’t be around my niece or nephews without wanting to jump out of a window. Every time I have an intrusive thought my mind obsesses about it and I hold in my gut like I’m holding in a breath. The only comfort I feel anymore these days is when I find something to distract myself like video games, or masturbate to women who are older than me. This has led me to masturbate to porn models multiple times a day to remind myself that I am attracted to women older than me. I feel weird when I find a girl who is 2-3 years younger than me attractive. Sometimes I’m not even sure if I’m attracted to her or if it’s just my OCD kicking in again. Usually, the only times I find a girl younger than me to be attractive (14-15) is when she is mature and looks older for her age (16-18).

I have become so depressed that I even missed a month of school because I didn’t want to be seen by anyone or see anything that might trigger an intrusive thought. I’ve almost completely closed myself off from my family. I spend all my time in my room alone and when I’m not in my room it’s because I have to go to school.

It would seem that the best case scenario for me would be that I have severe POCD. But if I’m being honest with myself I don’t know how I could bring myself to get help. Even if I did I know I’d just end up worrying about if I am attracted to teenagers when I am older. For as long as I can remember I have always had OCD and anxiety so I genuinely don’t believe things will get better for me. I’ve also dealt with depression for about 3 years. Any time I have a split second of a happy moment it’s ruined by the extreme guilt I feel for just having these thoughts.

At this point I don’t know what to do. I would like reassurance, though I doubt any amount of it will help.

Does anyone else experience this? I have intense and graphic intrusive thoughts about my ex cheating every time I have sex. I seem to need these thoughts to reach orgasm.

I don’t want to even have these images in my subconscious, but when I try to avoid them, things are anticlimactic.

I struggle with intimacy and getting close to partners. I love my boyfriend and don’t want to have this wall between us, but I don’t know how to stay present while having sex with him.

Update: I watched Baby Reindeer and finally understand my thoughts! It’s incredibly difficult and triggering, but a must see for victims of SA and/or stalking.

I realize now this was the wrong sub for this post, but maybe someone else will benefit from it while searching for their own answers to these specific types of intrusive thoughts

Do you guys think death by nuclear bomb is a badass way to die? We could be the talk of the town in the afterlife of our choice. If not then down vote this post I guess. I don't really care if it gets down voted and also it will also be an easier way to know you guys' answers.

:)

Pretty much the title. Got a therapy thing tomorrow and thinking about that a lot but most of that is cutting related. Just cutting and mutilating and yada yada, I'd be so bored of it if it wasn't distressing imagery filling my brain and the knowledge and I could very easily appease the thoughts and I want to do bad but I know I shouldn't

So far I feel wellbutrin may work well. A friend of mine, 2 actually, did really well on it.

Has anyone had positive stories on wellbutrin?

Is another med that's pretty safe,no crazy side effects ?

Want to try meds soon.

Thanks

Been struggling with ocd for a while it’s so mentally draining I just don’t have a day anymore where I feel relaxed or happy! Does it get better? I’m in the process of waiting on therapy but I just can’t deal with this much longer

when they ask me about my father It hits bad.

What is so sad about it?

I have never known his favourite colour never has he known my favourite colour

I never knew him all these years I have only known him as, My mothers husband.

I feel ashamed to be human and to have feelings and needs (incl. sexual) and I want to hide that and present myself as a divine being that transcends human chains of hormonal changes and proceed to make the world a better place because I feel I was sent to do just that, is it just me?

I don't even know if this memory is real or it must have been a dream, but I'm leaning towards it being real and the guilt is killing me.

I think I might have rubbed my hands on my younger brother's breasts when I was 17 and he was about 8 but not in a sexual way, more of curiosity. and it's killing me that I might have been a predator.

I have never touched anyone inappropriately besides the memory my mind is giving me. I don't even know if it's real.

I'm scared I might have traumatized him, and I'm not sure if being quiet is his personality or if I traumatized him. he's 13 now.

how do I know if this is real? what should I do? I don't want to live with guilt.

Edit: I asked my brother about it and he has no memory of me every doing it so my best bet is that this was just a fabricated memory. Thank you to everyone for trying to help.