Hi, like the title says, my girlfriend of 8 months wants me to start being more dominant when we have sex. We both enjoy getting rough with each other and I'm spanking her when we're in doggy but she wants me to be more dominant.

Any tips or things that I can start doing while we have sex?

For context: I (33 m) and my wife (31 f) have been together for 14 years married for 1 year and have 2 kids older than 7.

Our sex life has never been amazing, pretty boring in my opinion to be honest. She is very vanilla where as I am definitely very open minded and want to try everything. We have had a few occasions where we've experimented with something new and it becomes a staple in our sex life for a while before being suddenly removed from the table all together by my wife.
We used to play with coconut oil massages and very sensual sex. Suddenly removed after a fun few months.
One of my favourite things is to receive a blowjob. Suddenly removed after a few years into our relationship.
Lots of play with sex toys. Suddenly removed after a year or so of play.

I never want my wife to do anything she doesn't want to or isn't comfortable with but I am simply so bored of our sex life and so exhausted of my needs not being met whilst constantly trying to meet her needs that I am finding myself avoiding sex and losing interest in it all together. I genuinely think this would be okay with my wife as well, we average sex once every 10 days and it's always a quicky (normally just before we go to sleep).

I think she sees sex as a necessary part of our relationship that she has to get over and done with, I really think she may be becoming a-sexual as shengets older and to be honest that scares me.

I want to have a conversation with her about how I feel and how we can improve things for us both however in the last that hasn't really achieved anything other than false promises and her feeling hurt. I make sure to be as respectful and careful with my words as possible following great advice on here but ultimately I'm unsatisfied and bored, I can see how that's not going to be nice to hear. The issues is my wife says it hurts and she doesn't want that for me but also doesn't do anything to prevent it (sex isn't an issue for her, I don't think she values it in our relationship so struggles to see how important it is).

I want to have 1 final ditch attempt at talking about this with her in the hopes of saving or sex life but want to give myself the best chance of success for us both and also be mindful of her feelings.
How can I plan this and discuss it with my wife as carefully as possible whilst also gaining maximum response?

TLDR; I'm bored of sex, wife doesn't see a problem with quality or frequency. How can I talk to her about this carefully without hurting her feelings?

So I'm a 20 years old guy with a bit of an issue where I will for a few weeks have a really high libido and sex drive only for the next couple of weeks to have almost no sexual interest at all. I find this really annoying. I ultimately  want to have that high sense of libido every week as I find my sex drive to be crucial in my overall ability to be motivated and to have a hunger for life otherwise I have very low drive. Is this something to do with a hormonal imbalance? Is there anything I can do to keep my libido very high? I have been thinking about taking black maca root as some people say it helps but I'm still unsure

Does anyone else have a giggle sensation or just randomly laughing after a very intense orgasm? I can’t control it but it happens to be only after a mind blowing orgasm. Thanks ladies.

Since I was a young teen, i had fantasies that had to do with ''affairs'', the concept of your wife sneaking around with someone else or seeing her with someone else. The tension, the wrongness and the feelings brought upon cause immense arousal. I grew up in the church and the tabu of it all just made me interested in the topic until i found myself reading stories and books about and find myself being aroused by even getting cheated on....in a fantasy way i guess.

I just can't help to feel awful, from reading and collecting novels about wifes cheating (I've read anna karenina 5 times lol) and countless others and then feel weird ''why am i like this?''

anyway, I don't think I will ever stop having these fantasies, I have tried my best, I would like to feel less shame

I made the breathtakingly stupid decision last night to sleep with someone even though I suspected they had a cold sore. In the moment I tried to convince myself it wasn't, and that they would've told me if they had herpes, but now I'm kicking myself for not just saying no and leaving. Is there any possibility that if they have oral herpes, I haven't contracted it? Or is there any way of preventing it if they did? I know these are monumentally stupid questions, but I can't go to my GP unless I actually break out in sores, which I'm praying doesn't happen, and if my parents see me with a cold sore I'm done for. Is there anything I can do to give myself a chance of not catching it, or stopping the sores breaking out?

F23. I discovered my kinks at the start of this year and they are driving me crazy! I can’t stop fantasising about them. I discovered them in an unconventional way I suppose. I only had vanilla sex before. I’ve always naturally been a very submissive girl. I went on a cam chatroom site, and one guy in particular introduced me to bdsm. He was a sadist dom. He would make me do all sorts of things while I was on cam for him. For instance, choke myself with my belt, spank myself with the belt until I was bleeding, cut myself, nipple clamps/clit clamps, hot wax, burn myself. Also I explored other kinks with him such as orgasm control, exhibitionism/public play, ddlg, and tpe so he would control what I would wear & I would keep a diary of everything I would do that day. I was obsessed. We live in seperate countries and have lost contact now sadly ): I am just continuously searching for this dynamic again. But I need my kinks fulfilled in real life. I can’t consider getting into a relationship with somebody who doesn’t share these kinks as I fear I would be unfaithful, getting desperate to have them fulfilled. Personally I am at the age where I need to be finding a serious relationship/marriage but how can I enter this if i’ve never truly explored my kinks. But if he doesn’t have the same kinks how on earth will the relationship last. And it seems so hard to find somebody who’s actually kinky. I have tried searching for guys irl with compatible kinks but I cannot.. like where are they lmao. Everyone is so vanilla. I’m genuinely concerned

My girlfriend always orgasms during sex, but only through isolated stimulation like cunnilingus, fingering, or toys. During penetration, she finds clitoral stimulation "a bit distracting" or says it’s "too much sensation at once." She does not orgasm with piv

Because of this, she prefers to keep the stimulation separate from penetration.We’ve tried combining the two multiple times, but she clearly prefers them done separately.

Is this common, or are we doing something wrong?

I'm almost 22 and I feel so upset and bitter I never had any sexual or romantic experiences when I was younger. Many people start dating and having sex earlier than me.

I feel so upset that getting girls and dating won't be as fun and pleasurable and exciting when I'm a fully grown man.

The guy im seeing has a rly big penis (like at least 7.5 and girthy)

And we tried to put a condom on but it kept rolling up (is he putting it on wrong?)

Is it possible for it to not fit cos of how big he is? I really want to have sex with him but i dont want to risk him going in raw and getting pregnant (i would be taking a plan B though)

Thanks in advance x

Some background info : he will be the second person ive shagged but he has shagged 10 people i think

Hes also a lot more experienced than me, i have only had sex 3 times in my life.

Im also quite tight, if im not properly turned on it hurts to put one finger in

I (23F) have been dating my boyfriend (28M) for about two years. Our relationship is great in so many ways, but I’ve been feeling a disconnect lately when it comes to intimacy. I’ve tried to open up about some of my kinks and fantasies, hoping we could explore them together, but he seemed really uncomfortable and even a little judgmental.

I’ve always believed that sharing things like this would bring us closer, but now I’m second-guessing myself. He hasn’t explicitly said anything hurtful, but I can sense the hesitation, and it’s made me feel embarrassed about being honest.

I don’t want to pressure him into anything he’s not comfortable with, but at the same time, I’m starting to feel like I can’t fully express myself in our sex life without being judged. Has anyone else struggled with balancing openness and acceptance in their relationship? How do I make sure both of us feel respected while also staying true to what I want?

So I masturbate a lot, didn't have any problem with it, but recently i have noticed strech marks on my penis and inner thighs, I'm a bit confused, is masturbation causing them? I use a lot of lube also. The only thing is i masturbate around 4-5 times a day not regularly though

Over last year I’ve noticed I having trouble having orgasm in wife. I usually finish w jo with her help. We mostly have a dead bedroom she is very pretty ect. Sex every 2 to 3 weeks, I mastburate Dailey. I know she’s not really into me…..my sense is I’ve gotten to used to the hand motion?

Me 18/M and her 19/F have been together for about 5/6 months, I know I’ve already posted something similar but I didn’t feel like I’m confident yet to even talk about it with her.

this is basically the only way me and her can be intimate together because we‘re In a long distance relationship, I just dont know how I can tell her my desire or at least hint on wanting to be intimate with her.

At the beginning of the relationship I struggled a little to maintain relationships, but little by little it improved.

At 8 months he told me that I wasn't interested in a threesome, be it a man or a woman, but I have remained firm in not wanting that. Later there were fidelity problems... so to speak, clarifying that I never did anything serious like sleeping with or seeing others, but I did create an account on social networks to find a partner, but it was resolved and obviously I have never done it again.

Going from being the saint of the relationship to being the villain, yes, there is more context but that is another matter, comment if you want to know haha

The point is that after eight months my partner made the advances to me, and even when I was on a high, she would touch me, emphasizing "wouldn't you like it if we were both doing this" or also "imagine while I'm sucking you?" that someone else is giving me" but obviously he said no.

One day we drank, not much, just enough to get a little dazed, we were at her house and we went to her room, and the act began, then she started telling me things about her best friend who would be in the range of chubby, my girlfriend. She is thin, the point is that since she was a little drunk, after telling me that "how would you like her to do it to you" or "what would you do to her?... would you like me to..." I gave her her side telling him with an expression of boredom 🙄 "wow I would love this or that and well she got hot, but not sexually, more like anger, and then she complained to me.

After a few hours after the effect wore off, he calmed down, but anyway, it's been a year now, but he's made small insinuations to me that annoy me like when we're doing it in the dark saying things like "can you imagine I'm someone else?" Which suddenly makes me think if she is comfortable or not, she had a marriage before me in which her ex did want the threesome and they were even ready and everything, arriving at the motel the woman in question did not appear and they were left with the desire and that's what he tells me, that as if he stayed with that desire, but at the same time I tell him that I don't love anyone else, but he says he wants to share what he feels with others, but the truth is I'm not interested or not wanna.

My SO wants me to do anal with him. He hinted in the last few weeks often.

There are strapless and strap on what i found.

What is easier and more enjoyable and how do i get the right size?

We are together 5 years now and he never wanted this before. I want to do it. but i want to have good time too. So what are the best ways to get into it so we both have fun

I've tried looking for other people with a similar issue but every post or article essentially seems to be about people losing sensitivity from using a vibe and now they can't cum without strong vibration. But I seem to have a different (uncommon?) issue that I just cannot cum from using a vibrator. It feels good, for a certain period, then it passes a certain amount of time using my vibrator and I'm just bored, slightly frustrated and am unable to cum. By that point my clit is basically just numb and even using my hands won't help me finish.

I have a bullet vibrator that's never really done much for me. I got one of those g-spot rabbit vibrators that I tried for the first time today. It definitely worked better than the bullet vibe but I just could not finish from it.

I have no issue cumming from using my hands and fingers, am I just not using the right vibrator? Or is it just not the sort of stimulation that can actually help me cum?

My girlfriend (F21) and I (M21) have been together for mostly 8 years with one or two slight breaks. We have kinda always clashed heads but our love is stronger so we always rejoice in a healthy way. My girlfriend is a high stress person who gets over stimulated fast. Nonetheless, we are the couple that fights in private about one or two times a week about insignificant stuff. Recently, we decided to take a gentle femdom route. Nothing crazy. I basically do all her chores around her house and give her a lot of attention. She rewards me with facesitting or with teasing and edging. I also have some consequences if I didn’t do a well enough job. The chores I do include some of her laundry, remaking her bed (putting new sheets on), cleaning her house (organizing all rooms, sweeping whole house, cleaning bathrooms), I drive her everywhere, I get the food while she waits, I pay for mostly everything, etc. she does as minimal as possible most the time.This gentle femdom thing has seemed to take away a lot of stress for her. Honestly, I’m a pretty sexual person so this dynamic definitely helps keep everything at bay. I was obsessed with my girlfriend before but now it’s off the charts. We really haven’t fought in a few weeks. Our relationship feels stronger than ever right now. I just wanted to share my experience on here. Sometimes couples just need to find their dynamic that fits them to help a hurting relationship.

(F) I used a dildo for the first time in a while, usually I orgasm using my clit with a dildo just to get it over with. But this time I didn’t, I simply just used the dildo. After cumming vaginally a few times I finished and the toy had cream on it, more than usual. Curiously I tasted it and to my surprise is was strangely quite sweet. I’ve never tasted my cum until now, and now I’m wondering if there’s a particular reason for the taste or if it changes from time to time.

Apologies for the super long post - tried to shorten it but can’t.

Tldr - husband and I met through the kink scene but have totally incompatible kinks - are we doomed?

Me (46F) & my husband (48M) met at a kink social event, after previously being unfulfilled in vanilla relationships. We were both new to the scene & not looking for a long term relationship.

However, we bonded immediately, very quickly started a sexual relationship, agreed to be monogamous & fell in love. We’ve been together 11 years & married 7. No kids involved.

The problem is neither of us were open with each other early on about our specific kinks & just started with generic BDSM - Dom/sub, mild physical punishment, a bit of rope play etc. We’ve since discovered that very few of our true kinks are in any way mutual.

I love rough sex, want to try consensual non-consent & am fascinated by the DD/lg dynamic. He’s fixated on bodily functions, water sports & in particular another thing which I don’t even know if I’m allowed to mention here (100% legal & consensual).

He’s scared of hurting me if we tried my kinks & without wanting to be mean, I find his main kink physically repulsive. I really don’t want to kink shame, but can’t help my gut reaction.

We basically don’t have sex anymore & if we do, neither of us is really satisfied as I don’t get the mental stimulation I need & he finds it very difficult to get off without involving his kink in some way.

He’s never actually tried this kink with a partner, but is desperate to, so I’ve suggested he could find a professional to do it. Unfortunately he says he wouldn’t enjoy it unless they were genuinely into it & not just doing it for the money.

I don’t know where to go from here. I feel like I can cope without my kinks, but can’t see me ever getting over my distaste for his, which is so important to him.

Are we doomed to failure or is there a solution anyone can suggest?

Me 16 ftm and him 17 m we had sex for the first time today. (Both our first times) it was great, but no matter what we did we couldn't get his cock to fit in my bonus hole (vagina) or my ass. I was trying to be as relaxed as possible but it wasn't going in, he's about 5 inches and we couldn't get anything in. Does anyone have any advice or tips? Or any position's that would work better we both have no idea what we are doing.

My boyfriend and I are in a long distance relationship. We don’t consistently get to see each other so the most we can do is phone sex. I try to spice it up, send photos/videos and initiate but I feel like he doesn’t make that much of an effort or that he’s not into it. I think if I didn’t initiate we would only be intimate once a month. He’s not as interested in foreplay or aftercare, and I think after two years of being with me I’m no longer enticing.

The other day I found out that he watches porn to get off. It doesn’t happen often and I know I shouldn’t be upset about it since it’s something that’s done privately, but I’m insecure about the fact that he seems to no longer be as interested in me but he can get off to other women. When I try to approach the conversation with him, he gets defensive. Does anyone have any suggestions or opinions on this?

6 weeks ago i had unprotected sex with a sex worker. In the beginning i used 4 days pep but because of the side effects i have stopped it. Since 4 days i have every night night sweats. My whole body is soaked. I dont have any flu temperature is mostly around 37 degrees. Tommorow i have my HIV test and i am very scared. Does anyone experienced the same thing?

This is probably going to be jumbled because I find it awkward to talk about so apologies in advance.

I have multiple traumas (SA, Emotional, traumatic event (my boyfriend died 2021)) and I've addressed it all, over almost 15+ years of therapy. I would say I am better in a lot of ways.

My confidence never really returned though and as a result I find it hard to be sexually expressive especially around people I don't know well or trust yet (which would be everyone I would date).

Another thing not helping it is I am fat, like actually chunky, so I don't feel confident going out and meeting people sexually, so I don't. I have a suspected thyroid issue, I'm dieting, I'm exercising... But it will take time to undo my weight gain. I'll be honest the thought of another year plus without sex makes me want to die, not literally but it just is so discouraging.

Really terrible to admit but sex occupies my mind 24/7. I want physical closeness so bad it hurts. I have always had a high sex drive despite everything... And now it's, it's actually terrible that's the issue.

How do people have the confidence to just go out and meet people to have sex with when they don't know them well? What do people do when they are in my position?

I have wants, desires... Hell I know exactly what I want I just don't have the confidence to say it or go out and find it.

Ive heard your diet can change the way your load tastes and I’m pretty curious to know what i could do to make it taste better, would appreciate any advice!

I called the guy I’ve been seeing a good boy in bed recently; it seemed well received, so thankfully no issue!

This is the first time I’ve been with a POC (he’s mixed and had expressed some difficult feelings with that, mostly around feelings of belonging) I’ve been doing some reading, and one thing I read was “It’s important to remember that as a white person being sexual with a person of color, you’re in a position of power. The fact that you’re intimate with one another doesn’t erase that”

This got me thinking about what I had said and power implications in age play and intersectionality with race and also wondering if there are other things I should consider or be aware of or anything as we continue to explore sexually.

TIA!

So we’re both 27, in a relationship for 3 years.

Till about a week or 2 ago, she’d give me a BJ once in 3-4 months. We’re having sex 2-3 times a week but I got the feeling she doesn’t like giving blowjobs, which was a bummer for me as I love them but whatever.

Recently, she started doing them much more often, I’m talking like from once every 3-4 months I’ve received at least 5-6 in the past week and half.

I’m very greatful and it’s amazing, but it’s very odd to me, what has changed? I’ve literally got a year of blowjobs in like a week or so.

I’m an 18yr old male and after having sex, I noticed I had a small cut on my frenulum, not only that but my foreskin became very tight and irritated to the point where I started bleeding a little while pulling it back and cleaning. This has never happened before and I’m wondering what the cause may be and what I can do to treat it. I’m 99% sure there is no STD since I got tested like a month ago. The only thing I’ve tested currently is putting some aquaphor on it.

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Im actually searching advice, well I can sort of guess what aftercare is from the name but I’d love to know exactly what it is and how I should proceed with my partner when we meet up