/r/sex

Photograph via snooOG

r/sex is for civil discussions pertaining to education and advice regarding your sexuality and sexual relationships. It is a sex-positive community and a safe space for people of all genders and orientations which demands respectful conduct in all exchanges. There is ZERO TOLERANCE FOR CREEPY OR HARASSING BEHAVIOR HERE — in posts, comments, messages, or any other contributions. No exceptions.

r/sex is for civil discussions pertaining to education and advice regarding your sexuality and sexual relationships. It is a sex-positive community and a safe space for people of all genders and orientations which demands respectful conduct in all exchanges. There is ZERO TOLERANCE FOR CREEPY/HARASSING BEHAVIOR here — in posts, comments, messages, or any other contributions. No exceptions.

Rules, Guidelines, Block Unwanted DMs Guide, Other Misc.

Wondering why we don't allow certain topics?


This is a large community dedicated to an extremely popular topic. If you wish to participate, it is your responsibility to familiarize yourself with our rules of conduct BEFORE you participate here. Failure to do so will result in your removal from the community.

PLEASE READ the FAQ with the most asked and answered questions - BEFORE POSTING!! Posts that do not follow the posting guidelines in the FAQ will be automatically removed.


THE /R/SEX RULES

1) ENGAGE CONSTRUCTIVELY AT ALL TIMES.
This means ensuring that ALL of your contributions here are constructive, on-topic, mature, sex-positive, civil and respectful. Disrespectful conduct will see you banned from the community on the spot. Hitting on other people, asking for pictures (joking or not), making any sort of sexist comment or insult, body shaming, or trolling of any sort will result in your immediate ban.

2) DON’T SKIP THE FAQ OR THE FORUM RULES.
We’re serious about this. Dozens of posts get removed every day because they’re covered in the FAQ or violate the forum rules.

3) DON'T OVERLOOK PAST POSTS.
We’re serious about this, too. Many questions may be new to you, but are very common in our community. Before you submit a post on a common topic, search the forum.

4) ALL CONTRIBUTIONS MUST BE SEX POSITIVE.
We demand that consenting adults be free to express their sexuality as they see fit. Kink shaming, slut shaming, and similar conduct will not be tolerated. Links or references to sex negative communities or websites (No Fap, Porn Free, etc) will not be tolerated. Attacks on the lifestyle of other consenting adults will not be tolerated.

5) POSTS SEEK ADVICE, COMMENTS PROVIDE IT.
The main forum is focused primarily on posts seeking specific actionable advice for distinctive personal situations. Giving advice should primarily be done in the comments. General discussions are often allowed, so long as they adhere to the group rules and restricted content guidelines. If you want to make an exception, please request approval from moderators.

6) DO NOT TROLL OR ENGAGE WITH TROLLS HERE.
Don’t try to challenge, question, tease, fight, or outwit trolls here. Instead, use the Report button to alert moderators, who will review every single reported item. Trolling of any sort merits an immediate permaban.

7) ALL DISCUSSION MUST BE DIRECTED INTO THE PUBLIC FORUM. Do not seek private conversations here, via Private Message or any other method. And do not seek to draw attention or clicks to an outside site of any type (unless you have received prior moderator approval, such as for academic research projects). Every comment here must be a clear attempt to engage with an ongoing public discussion in the forum. Violations of this rule will result in permanent bans without notice.

For anyone trying to avoid unwanted DM/chat requests, here's how to change your settings.

8) RESTRICTED CONTENT This sub is generally only for seeking advice, education, or discussion about sex and sexuality. We restrict or forbid many types of content here.

For expanded definitions of these, please see the full /r/sex rules post.


EXAMPLES OF CONTENT RESTRICTED IN /R/SEX:

1) PROMOTIONAL POSTS.
This means any post containing any kind of promotional element, especially one which seeks to lure traffic to another site or promote a product. Links to specific product descriptions are permitted if they’re PRECISELY on-topic in the context of the post, AND the post itself is clearly seeking advice in good faith. If you're trying to sell something, conduct market research, etc - these posts will get you banned. Linking to sex-positive blogs or podcasts is allowed, provided you make an effort to start a conversation here about the topic and use the link as supporting material.

2) LINK POSTS.
Linked material must be sex positive and precisely on-topic to stay up here, and needs to be introduced with a workable framework for discussion. Please see the posted Link Policy BEFORE you post links! Bare links to youtube, images, blogs, podcasts, etc are prohibited.

3) ACHIEVEMENT POSTS.
These include appreciation, humblebrags, “I just had to share,” “I just want to say,” etc. These belong in the Weekly Sexual Achievement Thread, not in the main forum. Posts which are JUST sex stories belong somewhere else entirely — like r/sexstories or a similar forum.

4) LOW EFFORT MATERIAL.
“Does anyone else...?”, “Is [X] normal/weird?”, “Is [y] wrong/bad/okay?”, and so forth. Human sexuality is incredibly varied; yes, someone else likes what you like, and labels like "normal" or "weird" are meaningless - and in a sex positive community, we do not allow any moral judgments against sex acts or behaviors that are consensual. Title-only posts, posts with no effort at an actual conversation will be removed and may get you banned. Comments that consist of nothing but memes, "this", "lol" and such are highly disfavored. If comments do not further the discussion, they may be removed; a pattern of these may result in your ban.

5) SEEKING FAP MATERIAL.
Do not ask for sex stories, do not ask for the hottest/strangest/most unusual/etc encounter someone ever had. Do not ask for lists of other people's kinks.

6) PORNOGRAPHY, EROTICA, OR PERSONALS.
You may not post or link pornography or erotica here. You may not share pictures of your genitals here - even if you are seeking medical advice (if you need to post a picture, you need to be going to a doctor). You may not recruit sex partners here, look for dirty chat, ask for someone to private message you, etc.

7) DISRESPECTFUL CONTENT.
Personal attacks, insults, name calling, or disrespect of any sort are not allowed here. Sexism, racism, or any type of hate speech will result in your immediate ban. This is a community for ALL GENDERS - refusing to acknowledge a trans individual's gender flies in the face of this, and will result in your ban.

8) OPINION SEEKING, POLLS, VALUE JUDGEMENTS, OR VALIDATION POSTS.
This forum is not for simply collecting opinions - "do you think [X] is hot?", "Women, do you like [Y]?", "What is your favorite sex position?" and so forth. This is not a forum to discuss your penis size, breast size, labia size, ask about other body image issues, or ask for feedback on your photos. See the /r/sex FAQ for help regarding body image issues. Do not post your pictures and ask people to rate or critique you. Do not ask if given consensual sexual interests are good/bad/okay/wrong, etc.

9) ACADEMIC SURVEYS.
These require prior moderator approval. Moderators will review the question formats and will review the documentation of institutional ethical oversight (please provide). Non-academic surveys are seldom allowed. Please contact the moderators BEFORE you post a survey or study.

10) GENERAL RANTS, ESSAYS, EDITORIALS, VENTS, CONFESSIONS, PSAS, AND AMAS.
These don’t belong in the main forum unless you have obtained prior moderator approval. Save them for story-based forums. Or Tumblr.

11) FREQUENT/FAMILIAR TOPICS.
These are addressed in either the FAQ, past posts, or both. In case you are confused, this means that we do not do penis size posts here, nor can we tell if you or your partner are pregnant.

12) VAGUE TITLE/TOPIC.
If a moderator can’t identify your issue or the type of advice you’re seeking, your post will be subject to removal. Titles should be at least several words long and adequately express what your post is about.

13) NONCONSENSUAL OR ILLEGAL CONTENT.
/r/sex is for the discussion of consensual sex among adults. We do not permit posts that advocate pedophilia, bestiality, rape, or incest here under any circumstances, nor do we allow these topics at all in most instances. Note that BDSM and CNC (consensual nonconsent) are perfectly valid topics in /r/sex.

14) OTHER OFF TOPIC ISSUES.
This is not the place to discuss politics or religion, to seek dating advice, to ask for how to pick up women, to rant about how you have never had sex. Posts that appear to be dedicated to stirring up arguments - particularly about hot button topics like circumcision, the evils of pornography and/or masturbation, and other toxic subjects - will be removed and will result in swift bans.

For a complete list of restricted content, see the rules sticky.


Other Relevant Sub-Reddits:

BDSM Community

DeadBedrooms

Dirty Pen Pals

Gone Wild

Ladyboners Gone Wild

LGBT Sex

LGBT

Normal Nudes

One Y Chromosome

Polyamory

Redditor for Redditor (Personals)

Relationships

Sex Stories

Sex Toys

Swingers

Transgender

Two X Chromosomes

/r/sex

2,695,265 Subscribers

1

Will sharing nudes in reddit affect me?

I have a friend who's very open and loves sharing.

I want to help her but I'm also concerned about her safety

What can I do to make sure nothing bad happens and give her the treatment she wants

1 Comment
2025/01/18
20:40 UTC

8

He said I was slutty and crazy after giving him a bj

Im 22, he’s 23 anyway.

I like him a lot and he’s very kind to me, but I didn’t get the slutty comment, I know he said that in a dirty talk way but I’m on the spectrum and tend to over analyze things. He seems to enioy the bjs I give him, and sometimes I try to do things I see on po*n (I know it’s not the best way to learn but yeah). And he said I was a wild ride and a bit unhinged (I don’t know but okay I guess, don’t want to overthink it).

I don’t want him to see me like a slut, I want to feel like his lover. And he tells me super sweet things on the regular basis but during sex, I always feel slutty. It’s okay to experience the wild ride and slutty side from time to time but not always. I had quite the same experience with my « ex », minus the sweet persona, he was just an ass with me.

I feel like I’m doing something or giving a certain energy during sex and I don’t like the « backlash » of it

14 Comments
2025/01/18
20:05 UTC

2

Plus-size (or overweight) Redditors: How do you handle sex in a way that’s comfortable and satisfying?

I’m genuinely curious about how people with larger bodies approach sex, especially if stamina or endurance can be an issue. What positions, tips, or strategies make things easier or more pleasurable? Also, how do you handle any anxiety or insecurities that might come up because of size?

I’d love to hear experiences, advice on communication with partners, and any general tips you’re willing to share. Thanks in advance!

6 Comments
2025/01/18
20:02 UTC

4

My partner wants me to sit on his face and I need help w this

My current sexual partner always asks me to sit on his face but I usually just change the subject or do something else exciting Imao bc l'm a bit insecure about this. Like not sure what is the cute way to do this and be sexy? Which direction am I supposed to face? I like the idea of 69 which I suppose is a similar concept but don't have a ton of experience with this either. For reference I'm def curvy w a pretty big ass

10 Comments
2025/01/18
19:54 UTC

0

He touches me but I don’t feel even slightly aroused,what is the problem ?

I am trying to figure out if I like this guy I am currently dating. We only got to hang out two times and I had all the firsts with him (cuddling, kissing, etc.). On the third day we got private in his car and he started touching me sexually. My breasts, my inner thighs, down there and I felt .... nothing. No embarrassment, no excitement, I felt like my body was stiff like a Barbie doll. Is my body signaling that I don't really like it? Or is it because of my low libido? Or is it normal that my body is not sensitive because I don't feel anything even when I touch myself? (To add,the guy is good but I wouldn’t call him the most attractive one.)

0 Comments
2025/01/18
17:47 UTC

0

Husband has a voyeurism kink

I’m monogamous. I’ve indulged in his exhibition kink, showing pictures and doing chaturbate but I can’t just stand there and want to have sex or flirt with other men. I feel like I’m not good enough for him to want me so he needs the validation of other men that they want me too. Anyone else has overcome this situation ? How can you feel like your spouse love you when they want other people to love you too?

0 Comments
2025/01/18
18:51 UTC

2

Only get hard while sitting up or standing

M24 new to sex,

I started to notice that when in bed with my GF and laying down it’s ALOT harder for me to get fully erect then if I’m sitting on a couch / sitting on the side of my bed

Has anyone else heard of this ? Is this normal ? It’s not a big deal it’s just weird. When we are laying down next to each other it’s alor longer / harder to get erect then like if she was sitting on my lap on the couch

0 Comments
2025/01/18
19:37 UTC

2

How did you get past feeling sexually neglected from a previous relationship?

I'm a switch (feminine presenting) who prefers topping, my ex claimed to be a top when we started dating (very masculine presenting) who didn't mind receiving too except that she turned out to be a complete pillow princess without any warning or communication beforehand so basically after having sex for the first time i would leave feeling very confused, completely rejected and just questioning if I'm desirable or if something's wrong with me which i know it's not the case since I've never been here before, every women before her made me feel very wanted and desirable so this started progressively taking a huge tool on my mental health and body image from the continues sexual neglect throughout our relationship and her words not matching her actions

Despite all my attempts at communicating my needs and what I'm feeling for months nothing has changed i couldn't even orgasm alone from masturbating when i was dating her, now after our breakup I feel so disconnected from my body, wearing oversized clothes and just hiding it when i was in fact super confident in it before meeting her... I feel broken and as if i have some sort of sexual trauma now from her continuesly letting me down after promising she would work on the issue preventing her from doing it, in fact it went as far as her leaving bed after i made love to her to watch tv as if nothing happened while I'm still laying there naked holding back my tears which lead me eventually to break up with her.

Did anyone experience this before? How do i get past this? I've had a few girls interested in me after the breakup but i don't wanna go sleeping around or use someone to feel good about myself when i know I'm still hurting over this...

1 Comment
2025/01/18
19:33 UTC

24

My partner has a weird fetish???

TL;DR My partner(24) and I (24) have been together a couple years. Recently I’ve learned more about his fetish and I’m curious if anyone has encountered anything similar?

He gets aroused by situations where I urgently need to poop or pee, especially if I end up having an accident. As he explained, it’s not about the pee or poop itself but the urgency and the helplessness of the situation that excites him. He makes me eat a lot in order to have to pee or poop and intentionally hold in my pee and poop so I would have an accident.

Have you had a partner like this or know more about this fetish?

27 Comments
2025/01/18
19:32 UTC

2

Low sex drive from wife + perimenopause. Does it ever return?

Male 37. Wife is a bit older and going through perimenopause. We have 2 kids both under 10. In our 10 years of marriage (14 years together) she has initiated sex probably twice or thrice. Sex frequency was never great before having kids, practically dropped in the first 6 or 7 years of having kids, and even now it's barely there. The few times in a year we have sex I, of course, have to initiate and even then sometimes she does it almost as a favor to me. I'm generally open about my needs with her and we've discussed her sex drive a few times. She's mentioned going through perimenopause as a reason and says things like "it will improve after menopause is finished" or whatever. But given the overall sex life we had anyway I don't know if this is another attempt to avoid any deeper talk about it. Sex or lack thereof is an incredibly silly reason to get divorced I know that. Our kids are amazing and I would never put them through a separation like that. I am very open to her life needs and am always asking if I can be more involved in any support towards her perimenopause but I don't get much response. Shall I just resign myself to a sexless marriage from here on? Instead of embarrassing myself by asking for sex, making myself vulnerable, only to be rejected time and time again.

18 Comments
2025/01/18
19:30 UTC

5

How to Get Wet Down There

Hello, I’m 26 F and I’ve had my IUD for several years now. Prior, I used to get wet all the time when I was in my youth, now I feel dry asf most of the time. I’ve increased my water intake, I exercise, performed kegels. I do partake of the edibles often, but otherwise I cannot get moist down there for shit and it’s embarrassing. I don’t want to use lubrication as it’s such an inconvenience. What can I do?!?! He foreplays, goes down on me often, I feel safe with him- I don’t know what to do! This has been an issue with myself and my previous partners as well! HELP PLEASE!!!!!!

5 Comments
2025/01/18
19:13 UTC

1

Don’t but do enjoy sexual acts?

Hi. F, been in a relationship for over a year now. I’ve done practically everything except 4th base and giving head. Since summer break we kinda stopped doing things except for making out. Mostly because of religion and because I sometimes felt like I had pressure to be sexual (even though I know this isn’t true). My bf is a lot more sexual than I am and even though I know he is okay with not doing things anymore, I don’t want to take something away from him.

If the issue was just that I don’t enjoy sexual things I would not pressure myself doing it. Sometimes I get kinda freaked out when he touches my boobs or initiates sexual things so that would make you assume I don’t like it. The thing is I do masturbate like twice a month, which I enjoy even if it’s not for long (this has been happening since before my bf), and the past month I have been dreaming more about intimacy and just things like that. Sometimes I consider wanting to do things again but then I get freaked out and I just don’t know what’s going on. Any advice, mind or actions related is welcome

6 Comments
2025/01/18
18:51 UTC

2

How do I 25M build up to intimacy with my girlfriend 23F?

Hey everyone, I need some advice on a sensitive topic. My girlfriend 23F and I have been dating for six months, and we're both college students navigating our way through this relationship. Recently, she expressed that my approach to intimacy isn't working for her because I jump too fast into physical acts without enough foreplay or buildup - more so the buildup.

Here’s the situation:

  • I tend to start with making out and touching, but she feels there should be more "before all that" to turn her on.
  • When asked what she prefers, she couldn't pinpoint specifics, just that the transition to sex feels too abrupt for her.

What are some ways to gradually build intimacy? I'm looking for things that could be done in the moments leading up to more physical interaction. Plus any advice on slowing down the process and making it more about connection rather than just the physical aspect?

Have any of you faced a similar situation? What worked for you?

I really love this girl and care about her comfort and pleasure, and I want to make sure our intimate moments are enjoyable for both of us. Any insights or personal experiences you can share would be greatly appreciated.

10 Comments
2025/01/18
18:33 UTC

22

Can I eventually get rid of my gag reflex ?

My BF and I have been together for 3 years and I still can’t deep throat his dick, and I really want to

but I gag every-time

I was wondering if it’s possible to just practicing it so I can get rid of it or is this not possible ?

he’s around 7-7.5 inches,

what can i do to get rid of the reflex ?

21 Comments
2025/01/18
18:29 UTC

14

How do/did you manage masturbating in a dorm hall?

I live in a dorm apartment situation; me and 6 other girls. We’re respectful of spaces, some are more friendly in pairs, etc. No one in here’s a big partier, or in a relationship, so there’s not really a ‘well, what about you and X?’ or ‘well, we all do it, so..’. It’s a very quiet apartment.

I’m horny a lot, have a next door neighbour a wall away, and the best I can do is turn on my fan and masturbate under the covers (and I can’t really brainstorm a way to mitigate vibrator noise; so, sadly, haven’t used them for months).

I thought about the shower, but seems to echo like crazy too. Any kind of penetrative stuff just sounds exactly like what’s happening, tbh. How do/did you guys manage it in your college days?

30 Comments
2025/01/18
18:12 UTC

0

Intim pics advice, how do i make them uniq?

I'm contemplating the idea of sending a guy some playful, sexy pictures as a light-hearted gift, but I'm feeling a bit uncertain about how to approach it without directly asking him. I want to keep the mood fun and flirty, so I'm looking for some creative ways to hint at the idea and gauge his reaction before making a bolder move. Perhaps I could drop subtle hints or craft a playful scenario that invites a flirty conversation. I'm really interested in finding ways to make this whole experience exciting and surprising for him, while still maintaining an element of mystery. Any suggestions on how to approach this in a way that keeps things light and fun?

5 Comments
2025/01/18
18:07 UTC

0

How should I hide my lube?

I live with my family and I cannot risk them finding lube. I share my room so I can't really hide it incase it gets found. I've thought of emptying it into something else like hand sanitiser but is there anything else you fellas do?

44 Comments
2025/01/18
16:55 UTC

6

How do you overcome the idea that you need to be a great performer?

Me (24f) and one of my coworkers (34m) have been sort of flirting with each other from time to time, probably since august’24. I really want him, and when I say really, I mean re-listening our Teams meetings just to get wet by his voice. And I know he wants me as well.

The problem is, I’ve been with one person before him, and we’ve been in ldr. So yeah, I have some experience, but clearly not enough to feel confident in what I’m doing, and due to it I feel pressure, like “you are not a virgin anymore, so why do you act like you are”, which I can’t get out of my head.

I know, that everyone like different things, and it’s always new with each person, but how do you stop being nervous? We plan to meet outside of work in a week or two, and I’m shaking already. The fact that his older and more experienced doesn’t help too lol

In advance, for those who wanna say “don’t bang a coworker”:

  1. we don’t work on the same team and can escape meeting each other irl in the office
  2. we both are ready to quit anyway, so if things get messy, it won’t be a big problem
14 Comments
2025/01/18
16:31 UTC

1

Girlfriend says she's sore after the previous session.

My girlfriend says she's sore after the previous session and doesn't want to have penetrative sex. But she wants to have sex and she's horny all the time. How do I go about it? Except for giving head what can I do?

18 Comments
2025/01/18
16:06 UTC

0

vanilla extract in my v to taste good

so i’m new to all of this, new in a relationship and my bf is planning on coming over and he always talks about all the dirty talk abt what he’s gonna do yk, so i’ve started looking at how i taste obviously i know vagina is going to taste like vagina but what if i put vanilla extract in it and around it so it tastes good?? like if he was to fi*ger me and lick it, i want it to taste unforgettable

pls reply ASAP

31 Comments
2025/01/18
15:46 UTC

6

Burning sensation down there when i’m aroused?

So basically, If I (F18~) see or hear something that’s kind of, yk, hot, i’ll have like a clit pulse (😭) and then i kinda get a tingly burn for a couple seconds between my vaginal lips. Like it goes hand in hand with the pulsing.

I don’t like it, I hate the sensation bc it ruins the pleasure and it makes me think i have like a yeast infection or something 😭 do any other girls/women have this? Or is there something wrong?

10 Comments
2025/01/18
14:52 UTC

2

22f struggle with sexual health and sex

As the title suggests, I'm a young woman struggling with my sexual health.

Relevant background is that I've had an eating disorder since I was 12 years old, and experienced sexual assault at 18. These two circumstances have had severe and lasting effects on my sexuality and body image.

I have been in a relationship with my partner for over a year. He is my first sexual partner. I struggle with sex in the relationship. I do not find sex to be pleasurable. I'm not able to cum from penetration, oral sex, fingering, or anything else he does. I am also not able to cum using my own hands. I can only cum using a vibrator.

I find that sex is often uncomfortable and painful. I struggle to get wet enough to prevent friction during sex and this often leads to perineal tearing. I really struggle with arousal. I don't know how to get turned on. I very rarely have sexual thoughts or fantasies. I am rarely able to enjoy watching porn.

When I masturbate it just feels like I'm forcing my body to respond physiologically to stimulation. There is very little emotion or "desire" involved. Before meeting my partner, masturbation would often cause intense negative emotions, it would make me cry almost every single time. The emotions it bought up were very confusing, but the main thoughts were about how much I hate my body and how lonely I was. These negative emotions subsided since being in a relationship.

I often feel disconnected during sex. Like I am dissociating and I'm stuck in my head. I am still able to physically participate in sex when I'm dissociating, but I am not able to really enjoy it. Sex feels like a job that I am supposed to be doing as part of my role in the relationship. I often want to have sex, but not because I want pleasure, but because I feel it is my duty to do so.

Has anyone else had similar experiences? What should I do to improve my situation? I want to be able to experience sex the way normal healthy people do. I feel like I am missing out on a lot of meaning in my life because of the way I experience sex.

3 Comments
2025/01/18
14:19 UTC

1

47 year old man needs help.

I am 47, and consider myself to be in good health. I am religious and so I don’t believe in sex before marriage. Anyway, it had been several years since I was married. So, to fulfill my sexual desires, I had been masturbating to porn (a habit I have tried to conquer but to no success). Anyway, I met a very attractive woman last year. We dated for 6 months without having sex. Then we got married. I have had many problems with sex. When I was younger in my previous marriage, I had no problems whatsoever. But now, I cannot keep an erection during sex. We have tried both me being on top and her being on top, and my erection goes away the moment we go into those positions. It’s a strong erection though when I am just laying beside her. She is very frustrated and so am I. We tried everything. I tried Tadalafil and even upped my dosage but that didn’t work. And I also use Testosterone daily. Still cannot keep an erection. Any ideas? Is this because I am just old? Or has my masturbation habits ruined my sex life now? Any advice would be greatly appreciated! Thank you.

5 Comments
2025/01/18
14:30 UTC

86

Partner often tries to initiate sex when he’s still asleep?

Me (28f) and my partner (29m) have been together about 3 years.

Thoughtout our relationship, he has often initiated sex during the night - which obviously wakes me up. It used to happen maybe monthly, but now it’s a few times a week. Usually it’s about an hour after we lay down to go to bed. Sometimes we have sex and sometimes I brush him off and he goes back to sleep.

The thing is, is that he says in the morning he doesn’t remember initiating it - but he remembers having sex once it starts. If I brush him off he will say he doesn’t remember making a move at all. I remember because it wakes me up of course.

I’m frustrated because it disturbs my sleep. He says it’s out of his control, so I don’t want to be mad at him.

Does this happen in other relationships? I wonder how common it is.

TDLR: my partner initiates sex during the night while asleep and often doesn’t remember it

61 Comments
2025/01/18
14:11 UTC

1

The guy I am sleeping with refuses to ejaculate.

I F(22) have been seeing a guy M(25). We recently went away for a weekend to have some alone time, we’ve been on a few dates before this. He is very controlling in bed, but everywhere else he is very gentle and sweet. We had sex the first night and he didn’t ejaculate. I didn’t think much of it, as he said he didn’t want to make the experience about him finishing. The next night we had sex again. Everything was fine, but once again he said he didn’t want to finish. He ended up ejaculating and his whole demeanour changed. He became stand off ish, didn’t talk to me, and even got out of bed and went outside. I asked him about this in the morning, and he said he was upset but it wasn’t me. He says it is a control issue, when he ejaculates he feels like he isn’t in control. I can’t help but feel I did something wrong, or that he didn’t enjoy the experience. Anyone went through a similar situation or have thoughts in general?

9 Comments
2025/01/18
08:37 UTC

1

Sex on first date after 6 month LDR?

So I’ve been really hitting it off with a girl that’s on the other coast (Cali - Massachusetts). We’ve been talking everyday nonstop. Both our families, friends, and even aquaintances already know about us. We are so eager about our emotional connection. We share nudes and even have hot phone sex already within 2 weeks. Talking for 3 hours every phone call having a deep emotional connection.

We plan to meet in 6 months and she will fly out here. She even has plans to move here for school someday which could really close the distance. But I am a bit surprised when she said she wants to have sex after the first date. Even her friends have advised waiting to preserve my interest, which honestly wouldn’t make me lose any, but I would question if she sees me as a fling or romantic partner considering how much we like eachother. I definitely wouldn’t refuse, but I am a bit stunned that she wouldn’t want to wait even after the first date since we will hang out everyday when she visits. My last relationship was with a girl who wanted to wait till marriage, so this is new territory for me.

I dont mind it, but can’t help think she just wants me for my body rather than something deeper and long term. What should I think? I definitely dont want her to feel undesirable because she totally gets me riled up. I just feel a deep connection and am worried it may be rushing things. Or am I just an idiot cock blocking himself?

As a 23 y/o guy who’s been single for a year and going thru a dry spell, I have indulged in porn quite a bit. So this excites me but scares me at the same time. I really could see her as a potential mate one day. With her eagerness and more experienced sexual life, I can’t help but think of her on a casting couch, while Im tryna fall in love lol.

7 Comments
2025/01/18
10:00 UTC

1

Weird Fetish ruining my ability to have normal sex.

I am 23Y male and a virgin. I have a massive fetish that can be embarrassing to share with partner and whenever i watch porn, I only jack off to this fetish. I have come to a point where I am addicted to fetish porn videos. Now the issue here is I don't get hard enough when I am kissing a girl. I have been with 2 girls and I dont feel that much aroused when doing vanilla stuff and I am not able to get it to the penetration stage. Because of this I am constantly worried that I wont be able to have a proper sexual relation with a woman.

I have been thinking about solving this issue. I switched back to no porn and vanilla thoughts and I am able to get erect but I am not sure if that will be hard enough to penetrate. I also cant stay hard enough to put on a condom. I regret masturbating 2 to 3 times a day. I don't usally have a death grip but my masturbation frequency is so high that I can be considered a porn addict. Can anyone tell me what to do here. I am freaking out here. Thanks.

4 Comments
2025/01/18
11:04 UTC

1

can fighting sexual tension actually be a kink?

So I like this guy so much that I want to wait to have sex, and when I start to have sexual thoughts about him i actually push them to the side instead of playing the scenario on in my head. Has anyone else ever experienced this? I like him a lot, and of course when the time is right I will do what needs to be done 🤫 but for now I just want to push the sexual part of the relationship aside and fight the sexual tension. Maybe it's because he's such a gentleman and sweet that I don't want to think about him in that way yet. I'm not sure. But for now fighting the sexual energy/tension is fun, not giving in to the desire is kind of like a emotional/physical edge cus it's like...it leaves you clueless and in question about where things could've gone but you just know you want more.

4 Comments
2025/01/18
12:05 UTC

1

I [24M] Can’t feel much during sex with my gf [24F]

Hello everybody, I would like to ask for your opinion on an issue that has been going on for a good while now.

I am 24M, currently with my gf of almost 3 years, and I always had the same problem: a very hard time reaching orgasm during sex. As far as I can remember it has always been like this, and even in previous relationships it was pretty much the same.

I started having sex with my first girlfriend at around 17, and I remember that at that time, even if I still struggled, I used to be able to cum often during PIV, even with condoms. Even if I could reach an orgasm, even then it took a long time but eventually I would.

We were not very sexually compatible and we ended up breaking up because I valued sex as a very important part of the relationship and she did not feel the need to do it.

FF to my current girlfriend, since the beginning of the relationship, while always craving sex and enjoying being with her (in and outside of bed) I found it almost impossible to cum from PIV. One thing I felt as soon as we had sex for the first time was the difference from my first gf in how I felt inside her, my current gf being less tight (as she gets very wet). This being said, even if it feels hard to cum, I have no problem staying hard for the entire duration of sex and usually it ends up with making my gf come and then finishing off by her giving me a handjob or blowjob (which I can come from, even if it takes time).

Now, I’ve read everything and anything about this topic overtime starting of course from deathgrip, but I don’t know what to do more. I’ve tried abstaining from masturbating for 1 month, but nothing changed. I tried only having sex without masturbating, still the same. I tried focusing on all the feelings and stimulation during PIV, still nothing. I just don’t feel much during the act, the only time I can feel a bit of stimulation seems to be just as I enter for the first time, but as we start with a rythm the sensations fades off quicky.

When we have sex sometimes we try with her “clenching” her muscles and it helps a bit with the sensations I feel, but of course she cannot keep it clenched down there for long.

Now, I am not under any meds and I do not masturbate much since we live together, so when I do it it’s either to finish off during sex (or her doing it to me) or rarely if we are apart, otherwise if I stimulate myself it’s always through sex. Also to point out, during our 3 years relationship I managed to cum inside her just 2 times, both of which we were doing doggystyle (I just remember feeling the sensation more as I was about to cum, but as far as I remember the general sensation was the same - and we have a lot of sex!! I’d say almost daily)

So guys, what should I do?? This thing is really taking a toll on me because I feel like I’m not functioning well and it makes sex less enjoyable, and I feel like I’m becoming the one less interested in sex because of this (and I always had a very high sex drive)

I would like to know if there is anything I could do to improve this… all your suggestions are welcome!

TL;DR: always had problem to climax during sex. Don’t feel much during PIV and only managed to cum 2 times this way in 3 years of relationship. Already tried deathgrip solutions and such

3 Comments
2025/01/18
12:36 UTC

4

Can sperm leak from condom if im not fully erect?

So after i ejaculated i put on a new condom then i notice some sperm came out from my tip but the condom didnt have a tear but also i wasnt fully eract but had some erect ish. Can the sperm still leak?

15 Comments
2025/01/18
12:47 UTC

Back To Top