Oh hello LS!

I've been playing with a single male for a while as a casual fb. At first we were having a lot of swinging activity with threesome and a couple, discussion of parties, clubs. But it seems like it's slowed down and we have just been having 1:1 sex for a while.

I have no idea what changed, if this is normal... he has invited me a couple of times to group play but it was so last minute that I couldn't come. I've told him he's gotta do better than "it's happening now" or in the next hour.

Then what happens is he always wants me to come over afterwards and I spend the night. Because I can typically make late night happen but not last minute dinner time on a weekend if that makes sense. But of course the party is over by the time I get there. Lol.

I'm having confidence issues around the fear that I'm not good looking enough to be in these bigger group situations and maybe the last minute invites are on purpose or for some other weird reason. Did the other people we've had sex with previously not like me? I don't want to overstep my communication with a man that I am only casually seeing. I feel guilty for not being more last-minute flexible and maybe that's part of the lifestyle that I need to get on board with.

I have told him I am super into swinging and want to explore more so he knows I'm interested.

Maybe I am being ignorant and over thinking everything. Thank you for any advice.

We have noticed post pandemic there are less full-swap couple and even less straight full-swap couples. My wife bi-comfortable but she is no longer willing meet couples unless they are specific that they both are looking to swap. Are Full/Hard-Swap straight couples the new unicorns?

We’ve now done four hotel takeovers. We think we’ve noticed a trend that I’m curious if others have seen.
If the hotel takeover has a public play floor, it seems to be very active and helps to really drive a sexual tension throughout the event. It seems very easy to say “we are going to the play rooms if anyone wants to join us.” It’s also easy to just head to the play rooms to check things out if you are feeling frisky. When the hotel takeover does not have play rooms, there just doesn’t seem to be the same sexual tension. Yes some people head back to their rooms to play, but there also seems to be a lot more hanging out and dancing with much less play.
As a result we are actually leaning away from any takeovers or events without onsite public play rooms. Thoughts?

Quick context: my partner and I have been blessed with a pretty amazing group of friends. There's 6 of us and we all get along really well! We've been lucky enough to have some really great hangs with them (sexy and regular) we all click.

My partner never has this problem at home but in a group setting it's difficult for him to 'get going'. We have swapped with these friends but only once or twice, he's ready to go once the rest of them have kind of finished..it leaves me feeling a bit left out. The 4 of them play and flow well, while I'm trying to help my partner get going. (I'm not about to just swap out when he's not ready, of course!!)

In the past I've thrown around the idea of getting him some 'help' in the form of an over the counter solution. He really doesn't want to do that..but I'm also kind of tired of not being able to really connect like the 4 of our friends do..

I'm not sure what to do. Swinging is a wild, complex time 😵‍💫

My wife and I are both 41. We’ve talked on and off about swinging for five years. We’ve got a fair few things to work through before going for this, or not.

My wife really worries about my confidence, that I wouldn’t be able to cope seeing her with other people. I don’t think of my self as a jealous person, and have never minded her flirting with other people.

With that said, I wonder if she’s right? After all, how can I know for certain until I’m in that situation?

We have quite a few things to deal with before moving forward but this is one of them. How can we approach this in a way that reassures her? Or proves that this isn’t right for us?

Tiktoks been showing a lot of fantasy fest stuff down in key west with a lot of lifestyle hashtags but i can't tell if it's actually an event that we'd enjoy for lifestyle fun. It just looks like a lot of binge drinking, has anyone been? 😆

Long story short, my fiancée [f30] and I [m30] have talked about and possibly want to open up our relationship to swinging. We both have agreed that it is something we are interested in with the right people. Just wondering on how it has affected the relationships of those in the lifestyle!

Wife and I Agreed to do this for only until our subscription to two swinger sitesvend in March. Honestly, I'm getting bored because my wife is having all the fun and I just join or watch. However, it used to turn me on watching and watching the videos, but last couple of times it's been boring even though yall would have called it 🔥 sex. Since, wife is straight and do not give oral unless with a condom, couples usually decline and are not interested in meeting. However, my wife is pretty 😍 with a fat @$$ and a squirter, so single men will play with no hesitation. This weekend A nice looking couple we know in the lifestyle texted and said if your wife ate pussy and suck dick we can have a good time. But just like people who only want to have soft play, it's our personal preference to be full swap straight couple. Wife is also kind of upset that I haven't played so she says the only way she will play again is with a couple (full swap) but most couples want girl on girl and expects oral...At first she was having so much fun and I thought it would be hard for her to stop, but now since she sees I'm not having fun I think she will not have a hard time quitting...

Heyo! Going to a swinger hotel takeover this coming weekend and I need some advice on keeping clean! I love to engage in anal and if I know it’s happening I eat light the day of, douche an hour or two before and I’m all set. This is a whole weekend event and I’d like to be fresh and clean, particularly both evenings. Is this just a matter of douching each evening and keeping food light the whole weekend? It’s also a massive party (if you know you know) so lots of drinking with hangover breakies and dinners out so just trying to figure out how to balance things. Any tips or tricks to maintain the squeaky clean vibes so swapping and engaging with new people and couples is comfortable would be appreciated!

Mods: please remove if not allowed!

We're sharing our story again after deleting it due to personal reasons. Some couples who read it before requested us to repost, so here it is.

Married for 8 years with a toddler, we discussed fantasies like foursomes and threesomes during my wife's pregnancy. We revisited the idea when our child grew older. We're from North India, living and working in Bangalore.

I, the husband, connected with 200+ couples on various platforms and shortlisted an experienced couple willing to explore with newcomers. Before marriage, I had multiple encounters, but my wife had none; I was her first.

I convinced her to explore, emphasizing, "It's one life, let's have fun." She agreed, albeit hesitantly. We met our chosen couple in a hotel, they made us feel very comfortable, bdw they were from Kerala. They shared their experiences, which made us turned on. After few drinks, they suggested we should play some dare games:

The games escalated:

1. I was dare to kiss his wife.
2. My wife was dared to kiss him but she skipped kissing him and kissed the lady.
3. I was dared to fondle her boobs, squeeze her ass, stopped in few seconds, considering my wife's feelings.
4. My wife chose to dance with him, leading to a mild lip lock. And during this time she was blushing, shivering and was wet all the time.
5. All we're dared to remove tops, girls got into bras.

And all ended there.

Returning home, my wife felt guilty. I asked her to forget roles and share honest feelings. She admitted feeling turned on and enjoying the new touch.

We discussed, got intimate, had an amazing sex. We couldn't sleep whole night, kept discussing and fucking. Wife told to try it again and meet them next month. By morning she said let's meet them next week. And by end of the day, she said let's meet them tomorrow, I am 100 percent sure that I wanna get fucked by him. Then, we reached out to them, we couldnot meet the very next day but planned for within a week.

We shared each other's wives telegram IDs,, had sex chats, and understood preferences.

Our next meeting:

• Booked an Airbnb
• Exchanged hot pics
• Made out with opposite partners (Avni initially stayed under sheets)
• I had intense sex with the other lady
• Avni gradually opened up, enjoying multiple positions
• We had foursomes, threesomes, and girl-on-girl action

Never saw Avni in such hot and slutty Avatar, she was giving her best positions to get banged and wanted to get fucked as much as possible. I lifted the girl, put her against the wall and fucked her very hard.

It was incredible. We played with around 10 couples since, with amazing experiences. We love this lifestyle and await more encounters.

a couple puts “HWP couples preferred” in their profile?

I'm going to get a lot of hate for posting about appearances, but that is the main selling point of Illuminaughty, so it would be crazy not to mention it.

Honestly, everyone looked great. There was about 60 people there, and there was not one couple that would have been a no based on appearances. The couples were all well matched appearance wise, and everyone was HWP.

The webpage said the average female age was 31, and average male age was 35, so as a mid to late forties couple we were definelty among the older crowd.

We got there late Friday so we missed all the pre festivities, and just made it in time for the consent speech -

a verbal yes is required

just because someone is playing with your partner, doesnt mean you have consent to touch them

A maybe is a no

Discuss expected aftercare prior to hooking up

if you are getting close in someone's space watching them, make sure you ask permission

Condoms are required unless you have a previous relationship with the person

If people complained about someone not following the rules, they would be banned from the group permanently.

We went to the costume party (the orgy part) after, and we didn't play with anyone (i now know orgies aren't my playstyle, I had never really been to any outside of house parties) but there was a lot going on, and the setup was great. They even had 2 massage beds that got a lot of milage. I think everyone who wanted to play had opportunity to, everyone seemed super friendly and welcoming.

They had several group activities, like yoga, acro yoga (we missed the yoga but the people who went said it was a lot of fun) and a shibari workshop. We loved the shibari. The couple running the group was very experienced and very high energy, as well as one of the event attendees, so they were an absolute blast. They also did a suspension show with another experienced attendee. It was pretty awesome and incredibly beautiful. Now me and my hubby totally want to get into the rope play stuff.

They had a semi group dinner, there were 2 different restaurants to go to, and people kinda split off to go in little groups, then went back to the lodge to go to the bar before the pajama party (the orgy part).

The second night the scene was even more hopping, probably because people knew each other. There were lots of people talking and laughing, great music and lightning, and of course a lot of fucking happening. There were 3 rooms, or the full downstairs was a big play area with mattresses set up to take up most of one room, then also the massage room, couch area.

I guess the weekend retreat is something they dont do very often, but we had a great time, everyone was super respectful, the scene was set up really well, the attendees were awesome, the atmosphere was perfect, it was definitely the best event we have been to.

Wife and I went to Austin Colette’s for Halloween and the warning were right it was packed. Good costumes but it seemed like it more of a Halloween party taking place in a swingers club then a swingers club having a Halloween party if that makes any sense. 0 problem with it, I get it’s the one day out of the year it’s like that. One couple did play on the circular bed and they were intense and I was like people were in the area and weren’t participating which kinda irritated me (that couple was great btw.) the one thing though I was taken back by is a lady saw them and then had a look of horror and I was like you know where you are at right? We ended up leaving to strip club around midnight where it was less packed and more naked. (wife was playboy bunny with the "great ass" and I was one of the 10 hefs.)

We are currently planning our honeymoon in Spain and looking for any suggestions in Madrid or Seville specifically, but open to other areas as well. Also, any vanilla locations that are typically hopping are welcome suggestions as well.

Hosting a few of our lifestyle friends this weekend. My wife (38) and I (42) haven’t hosted an even with multiple couples and don’t really know of any fun or even sexy ice breaker games to get everyone comfortable. While we have played with everyone attending, no one else has connected with each other, so to make the first time a good time, any suggestions? Thanks I’m advance.

What Spanish term would you use to politely refer to a Spanish speaker in the lifestyle? Is it different between Latin America and Spain?

Good morning, My wife and I are wanting to experiment and expand our sexual horizons, we’re looking for a club that is more of a naturist club, with people having a little fun as well, nothing heavy, a gentle introduction if you like. Is there anywhere in Kent l, UK that’s like this? Or indeed anywhere in the south. We’re also a bigger couple so somewhere that would welcome us rather than making us feel self conscious!

Thank you all!

My wife and I are slowly dipping our toes into the lifestyle. We had a couple we were sending nudes to back in forth. The wife of the other couple seemed to be really into it and wanted to send videos and out of nowhere they backed out bc the husband decided he wasn't comfortable anymore. In our conversations in a group chat he wasn't saying much and I guess it was a red flag we ignored. My question is what are some common red flags others have come across to look out for?

So just pondering 3 questions. Obviously entering into this LS and starting out. Many more than 2 but we will stick with these 3 for now.

1. I (41M) am not what one would call well off in size. 5" (give or take) and insecurities arise around this for me although my SO (31F) says it's perfect/nice. I also do my best in other areas to attempt to make up for what I feel is a lack in that area. I feel like women in the LS would, idk, laugh or stop any arrangement immediately. I see a lot of posts and pics in other chats and see a lot of well off men, and women asking for BWC or BBC. Is this something to bring up in the beginning or is it even that big of a deal or am I wrong.

2. I had a bisexual lifestyle before meeting my now wife, she is fully aware. My wife and I play with items (proper toys) and recently she has been reading "spicy" books and one had a wife watching her husband be a bottom. She told me that she also wants to see me get "stuffed" and be the center of attention. Obviously this would be more a 3 some but the ideas are what brought about curiosity into the LS. I have read that it is not OK to have or ask for this situation. Are there other couples that have done it? (3some) or are there bisexuality couples that swap into MM/FF type play?

3. We have never had an STD. How prevelant are they in the LS as we do not want one, and how do you ask someone if they are clean without offending them? Is it offensive?

Asking a question I know has been asked before, but I’m not finding much recent info.

We’re a M26 straight and F28 bisexual(female preference) couple who are going to be in Portland from Canada for this first time this coming weekend, and are looking for the best swingers party on Thurs, Fri, or Sat. We’re not newbies, attractive (I think lol) and up for any sort of group play.

Privata seems like the main option, but the no-single men 3rd floor is closed on Thursday, and with the membership fees the weekend prices become pretty expensive. I’ve also heard that it’s a nightclub first, sex club second, swingers club last, and I’m wondering if on such a busy weekend it’ll be pretty difficult to find any sort of play with anyone other than each other? We don’t mind a club night, and love to dance, but that’s not the point of us going to a swingers club, lol.

TVR sounds fun if it’s a bit more swap focused and smaller, but if it’s just obviously way worse, that’s not the play, of course.

Happy to pay, dress up, not dress up, etc, we’re up for whatever! just looking to meet fun similar age folks and have a fun sexy night, and would love some locals opinions on the best way to do that!

(Also, maybe see some of y’all next weekend 🤩🤩)

TIA :)

Hi, my (M30) fiance (F29) and I are interested in playing outside of the relationship and aren’t really sure where to start. We’ve already had a good chat about boundaries and what each of us would/wouldn’t be comfortable with. We have a really strong relationship and can communicate our feelings to each other easily. Neither of us are interested in romantic encounters outside of our relationship, it would purely be casual/playful. We are aware that there are challenges associated with starting out and wondered if there was any sage advice you could offer? And how do you even go about starting? Any tips or words of wisdom appreciated.

We have been exploring swapping since last almost 2 years and have considered many adult clubs in europe,but seeing as racism against Indians have not personally explored.do we stand any chance ?

I’ll keep this short. My (41m) wife (41f) has brought up swinging in various forms over the past few years. I’m still learning and not there yet, I guess I’m the one with more questions and concerns.

One potential issue for my wife is that, because she’s Black, men will either ignore her, or only want her as part of a fetish? Even worse she fears that they will try and indulge in race play.

Is she right and how do we tackle that?

Not to come off douchy but does anybody know of any upscale clubs or sites? Me and the wife want to try our first soft swap. We’ve had a handful of fmf threesomes but figured the next step would be some couple play. We’re both 49 very fit and young hearted playful couple. We been married for 14 years and have an amazing sex life but would like to get even more erotic and adventurist. The wife is bi so she doesn’t mind the FMF but at some point we have to venture off to the next level right. We’re out in Southern California and tried Tads in San Diego but it was a bit creepy and not too much of our seen. I own my own business so we have the freedom to go anywhere. Any suggestions work for us thanks in advance.

Does anyone here belong to NSFW. Have heard interesting bits here and there and think it might be our type of fun. Would love to know others thoughts.

We have a 4 day weekend at a cabin booked with 2 other swinger couples next weekend.

I want to bring a cake for dessert one night and I want to write something sexy/funny on it. I’m going to pick up a basic cake at the store and write something myself. Any ideas??

We're a couple trying to get into things for the first time, 26M & 24F! We were looking to try out a local club but it seems like crowds are overwhelmingly older than us. We would just feel more comfortable with being around people our age, similar interests such as raving, physically active like us etc.

Would anyone be able to help point us in the right direction on where we might find a community of people more similar to our demographic? For reference we're currently based in the Bay area.

We have been observing on several swingers dating sites the emergence of prostitutes getting bolder and bolder. Single ladies, beautiful, in their twenties, reach out to couples. They are recently single, or exploring their sexuality, or wanting to connect with a mature couple,.... it is very flattering for a couple in their 50s or 60s... but it is always a con. They always show their face, they almost never have a validation, they are always new to the site.

They might not even exist. The person talking to you might be located in Indonesia. You have been warned!

My wife and I went to a Halloween Party for those into the lifestyle. We have been to a party before, but it was years ago. Anyway, we go and there are almost 900-1000 people at this thing, it was loud and crowded. We escaped to the play rooms to do some watching, but eventually those became crowded and loud as well (which I thought was a no no.). We were interested in meeting people but felt overwhelmed and decided to call it a night early (but late for us, we old🤣)

I guess my question is, are there events that are smaller and you can meet and actually talk to others without yelling? I think a nice brunch style party around a clothing optional resort setting would be awesome. Thanks.