We are considering hitting Desire Pearl Monday - Thursday of Thanksgiving week. I know those days are typically the most chill at the resort. What I don't know is whether Thanksgiving week is going to be even more chill (empty) or will it be livelier due to the holiday week? Anyone ever been that week?

-c4quackquack

It our fear and anxiety of getting discovered by a friend or family member on the LS site or talking to someone or sharing photo with someone. Has that happen to anyone. How did u deal with it

So it seems more difficult now days to connect to others who are aware/accepting of the lifestyle... Or maybe just me being more fussy. 

I was curious, which other sites/apps have you used in connection with the lifestyle? How did you find it there? The good and bad points? Maybe suggest your location also, as I think some sites are more suited to locations

We went to colette's in new orleans for the Halloween party. When I told her about it she was skeptical as was I. It was a first for us both. We arrived around midnight and got a tour. We were shown the down stairs area with the dance floor and bar. The bartenders made us a drink and we were taken upstairs by the girl showing us around.

The first area we seen was the library which was not at all a library. There were probably 4 other couples standing around watching another 4 couples have sex on the couch. They were moaning loudly, my wife and I looked at eachother and kept walking to the theater where porn was playing. We liked this room and said we would come back, play was secluded to each couch.

The back room upstairs was a giant bed for multiple couples to play and there were some side rooms to put on a show.

We went back downstairs to have a few drinks and talk to eachother about what we seen. Roughly 45 minutes later and a couple drinks in, we went back upstairs to look around again. This time we ended up in the theater watching porn with a few other couples.

I put my hand in my wife's shirt and was playing with her nipples while watching the porn and the others were playing. Eventually she pulled my dick out and I took her boobs out. The guy sitting in front of us was getting head and turned around to watch me play with my wife's boobs. We didn't mind and another couple was standing next to us watching. The attention she was getting was really hot!

My wife pulled her panties to the side and went on my lap to ride me with her boobs out. A few couples were watching at this point and we really enjoyed it!

Later that trip we talked about getting a 3rd to join us in the hotel room. That fell through but my wife ended up getting a nipple piercing so I'm happy with that instead. All in all a good trip and fun time.

Since I crave to be in the lifestyle community I was always wondering if expanding your sexual life to unlimited possibilities will have effect in your mental health. What differences did you notice after entering LS? Can you say you are finally happy? It's a question best suited for experienced couples I believe.

Okay so I have several question!

so my boyfriend and I are in a sexually open relationship. And I have no problem finding men to fool around with. I (I’m bi) get shy around women And we’ve have struggled to find women for him. They back off when he tells them that he has a gf. What do we do? How do we find women to mess around with? I would like for the women to be women I could mess around with or he could mess around with separately or together. I’ve also like to be able to have MFM fun with him how do we get that arranged do I have him do it or do I do it or do we do it together?

Also we are interested in visiting any lifestyle clubs in the area are there any suggestions?

Looking for toys and games suggestions that are fun for my wife and I to play with as a couple or with another couple! We already have the standard dildo, mini vibrator, handcuffs and rose.

Hi guys,

Title asks it all, I'm curious about it. I do image edits for couples that care a little bit more about privacy, like removing tattoos or items from their content to make it unrecognizable. I want to understand their way of thinking better and what the community thinks about it. Do you feel comfortable about sharing private content before meeting? Do you have rules like "No-face" or that sort?
Thanks!

What are the best condoms? We've used ATLAS and they have surprisingly good durability. But lately they seem a bit too thick and his end isn't getting as much out of it, not even feeling but we don't want to risk durability. Thoughts?

And while we use birth control condoms is just one of our biggest rules for safety in all aspects

Just wondering what Vegas club folks would recommend for us.

We are traveling to Vegas with another couple. Both in mid 30's HWP. Both good looking. We aren't Kink heavy just looking for something on the classier side with other good looking couples, minimal single guys.

We have been to Privata in Portland and had a really great time. Is there anything in Vegas that's similar?

Thanks in Advance.

Hi Guys we've been searching for which resorts would be the best for couples. We are concerned regarding too many single males. And locals.... should this be a concern? We've been in the lifestyle for many years, our concern is strictly going to another country and being pestered or feeling unsafe. So a couples only resort may feel better. Also we will be staying at another resort for a week. So this would be a daily getaway while we have sitters. Any recommendations would be appreciated. Please share your experiences

How do you view a guy saying whatever she's comfortable with as far as boundaries go. Especially if they are a new couple who is giving this answer but I'm also curious as to how some would take the answer if it were given by a experienced couple. To me it's a very spotlight giving answer rather than a team we response. Like boundaries couldn't be agreed upon or he just didn't care.

We’re a good looking and very in shape couple. We are paying members on Kasidie, but most couples on there are looking for FS. Where do folks on here go to find couples in their 20s/30s for soft swap only? We love going on dates with couples, making out, touching, the anticipation, soft swapping, etc.

We are looking for quality over quantity. Reddit is filled with fake account of course. So is there anyone on here who actually found a great path for meeting young and attractive couples interested in just having fun and sexy experiences without full on intercourse?

My boyfriend and I (M30 and F28) are from Brasil and we are going to Vegas in the end of January. We never been to a swinger club before, but we are open. To watch and to participate. We gonna be from January 28th till January 30th (we only going to have Tuesday and Wednesday night at the city)

I need club/party recommendation, we want something more classy and sexy. I'm thinking about See Mountain, any other recommendations?

So my husband and I recently stepped into the world of threesomes ( after years of conversation) we have had 2 different people on two separate occasions. Both have been amazing! Being new, we took advice from them aa they are both very experienced. The first one we had drinks and laughter then played . Several times. But then it was akward asking him to leave. ( he didn't get the polite hints)

The second time , we talked about it in advance and he said he doesn't like to stay to long afterwards ( sounded perfect after what happened the first time) but he really ment it.. he was leaving minutes afterwards.

We are both so happy we are experiencing this together. Our sex life's just been insane since! It was always amazing, didn't know it could be improved.

But there must be a nice friendly way to finish the evening? How do you say bye in a respectful way? Is it normal to leave straight after? Or still be there in the early hours?

Hello Swingers! We are barely in our thirties, with not much time to explore publicly. Has anyone had decent success using apps or websites for finding special friends? Any lasting friendships or mostly just couples to swing with?

Any advice helps!

So my partner and I have just started out with this lifestyle and we've had some fantastic meets. However I'm struggling a little. We're on a well know site to meet like minded people and all the ladies seem to have amazing bodies with flat stomachs and as you can guess that's not me. I'm 5ft 8 106kg and had three kids so mum belly and I'm feeling crappy about my self... he's amazing and always tell me how beautiful, sexy amd gorgeous I am, but I just feel I'm not as good as everyone else... how do you ladies cope with this? We don't full swap and only meet together

I’m set to go to an event Saturday and my period started yesterday, is there anything I can do to lessen it? I have pcos so have heavy flow. Going to get the disk as have the cup but it’s not possible to have sex with it in. Does the period stopping pill work once a period has started?

Hey everyone.  Back on reddit after taking a break for awhile.  41m single male in the lifestyle for several years.  Short rant here.

So under the right circumstances and the right vibe, I do enjoy some light MM play with the hubby or boyfriend.  Nothing too wild, things like having the wife/gf rub our dicks together, him lending a helping hand, etc.  But that’s of course only if the other party is into it too and it’s definitely not a dealbreaker for me if they aren’t.  So you’d think the only way for them to know is for me to simply be upfront and share that information, especially when asked.  Something like “not gay or bi but bicurious.  I do enjoy light mm play, especially if it turns her on.”  Unfortunately, I’ve been burned a number of times for that kind of honesty.  I’m not talking “thanks, but no thanks”, I mean straight up ghosting after sometimes weeks of fun and great conversation.  Even the former reaction is odd – just because I happen to be bicurious doesn’t automatically mean I’m gonna reach for the guy’s dick because it’s there, knowing he’s not into it!  It’s the ghosting that I find truly odd. Anyway, I now find myself being strategic as to when to share what information.  I look for key words like “open-minded” as clues that it’s safe to say more.  Which is too bad, but is what it is.

So my husband and I are still very new to the swinging life. Weve gone to a local swingers club a few times and had a couple of light encounters. I gave a guy a blow job and a different time, we had met a couple that introduced us to BDSM- but nothing penetrating.

Recently, we went to the club for their Halloween night. And we had a LOT of fun! I was finally coming out of my shell and really enjoying myself around multiple people. Had the cards played right, we had been talking to a wonderful gentleman that seemed quite interested in me and my husband was enjoying our flirting back and forth. BUT, just as we were about to ask the guy to join us, I fell and sprained my wrist so bad, we left early and went to the ER to make sure it wasnt broken.

The following night, my husband and I were still running on the high from the club since we hadnt been able to do anything the night before being so exhausted from sitting in the ER all night. So the sex was GREAT with all that charged energy between us!! My husband likes to put scenerios in my head while we are intimate from time to time because I have a great imagination and it really gets me going more. So he was discussing the scenerio of actually sleeping with the other guy and it made me even more aroused.

The night after that, though, wasnt as good. He started trying to talk scenrios again to me and I as I tried to imagine the idea of sleeping with the other man again, I suddenly was overwhelmed with the feeling of shame and guilt. Like I was doing something wrong even though I knew my husband was enjoying himself.

He immediately could tell I was bothered and stopped. He allowed me a moment and I told him I love him and he told me he loves me and we just made love to that feeling of love for each other.

After, I spoke to my husband and told him what happened. He reassured me that he was enjoying himself and would really love to see me sleep with another man but only when I'm ready. So, of course, he understood and agreed when I asked to stick to just light flirting at the club for now. We decided we wont take "more" completely off the table since we have already had those couple of encounters and they hadn't upset me at all. But the main focus and plan wil be just flirting and maybe getting that sexual charged high while getting to know others and not try inviting someone to join unless We really feel that connection. It does still worry me, though, that I could end up in the middle of enjoying myself and get that sudden feeling of shame again.

So my question is: Has anyone else ever had second thoughts? And did it happen during, before, or after? Do those feelings ever return? I really just want to know Im not alone in this and maybe hear some experiences or advice to help my nerves on it.

Tldr: Im worried about feeling guilty when we finally move forward to sleeping with someone else and wonder if anyone has had a similar experience.

Messaged a couple on SDC that might have been a good match for us. They were unwilling to share face pics but wanted to meet up for drinks/dinner to see if we clicked. This is insane to me. Do people actually do this? The easiest way to determine if we’d even be interested in a couple is seeing face pics. Who in their right mind would waste the time and effort to meet a couple without seeing what they look like. I swear the lifestyle has some straight delusional people.

Ok folks we have to have a talk about honesty. Lying in profiles is bad. Not only does it waste people's time it makes you look bad.

-Have your current age on your profile. One year isn't a big deal but 15 is. -Have CURRENT pics up please. Including face and body. Twice in the last week we have been catfished by people with 10 year old pics. It's not like we are not going to see you. -When going over play style be honest. If you just want to swap that's fine. If you don't like something the other couple is into it is fine. It's all right not to play with everyone.

Have a wonderful day folks

This Friday I will be attending my first swing party, organized and hosted by regulars in the LS, with most guests being regulars as well. This is run through the SDC site which I just joined and it’s listed as a Hotwife / Singles Party, with single men / women as well as couples.

I’ve experienced private play with couples and I’ve attended a swing club as single man (like 30 years ago). But this is a first of this type for me, and the guest list is rather large, over 100 people (!) which sounds crazy. Maybe not everyone will show up but let’s assume it’s at least 60-70 people.

I am outgoing, sociable, confident in my looks and body at 56, and have no problem introducing myself and being respectful, knowing how to read boundaries and not assume that any woman there wants to play with me necessarily. I’m not worried about that stuff. If anything I might be too polite but I’m not worried about meeting people.

But I do have some questions for those more experienced:

If I connect with a hotwife and things are going well, is there such a thing as going too long, too slowly (I like sensual foreplay and not just quickie sex), is it rude to her husband to dominate her time if she’s enjoying being with me? Or is that just a basic communication thing and everyone is different?

If I am approached by a single or married woman but I’m not interested in playing with her, is a polite “no thanks” OK? Is there a better, more commonly polite way to say no?

In your experiences, at a house party, are most encounters typically open door where spectators / additional participants enter and leave the room etc? Are there sometimes locked doors for more privacy?

Can I presume that people there won’t be trying to take videos or photos? I would be OK with some of that (nothing with my face being shown) but worried I may be too distracted in pleasure / excitement / other things to notice someone recording the action which would seem to be a violation of trust.

Maybe these are silly questions but just a few of the stuff bouncing around my head. I will report back after the party if people are interested. I think at the worst it will be an interesting life experience!

I had no idea what a pleasure dom was until I experienced one. The basic definition "A Pleasure Dom is a dominant partner who focuses on providing pleasure and fulfilling the desires of their submissive partner" sounds similiar to how a lot of men seem to view themselves (at least when they are selling themselves) but actually being with one is...wow

Kinda like a man with a hardcore foot fetish isn't trying to get laid, he's trying to get your feet in his mouth as the end goal, a pleasure dom isn't trying to get fucked, they're trying to get their partners off dozens of times, and they aren't that concerned with their own orgasm.

I have yet to see a couple profile where anyone is listed as a pleaure dom. I dont know if thats because people are unfamiliar with the term, or if married people have just dont have that kinda energy to share with others.

I wish they would invite a vetted pleasure dom to every lifestyle event. It would really loosen up us people who want that kind of attention. After my hubby gave me to a pleasure dom for the night, I did anything I could for him for weeks to try and repay him for that otherworldly experience, and damn, im still in his debt...

Add on - several people have mentioned that they don't like the word dom, and thats why "pleasure dom" is not used. But I would estimate at least 25% of the couples' profiles will mention if one person in the couple is dominant or submissive, so i don't think that is necessarily the answer.

I've noticed this while following /r/socalswingers

For Southern California there's far more people around the SD region looking to play compared to more populous areas like LA and OC. What gives?

I know Blacks Beach is right there if you're a nudist, but is down south really that more chill and sexually more liberal? I'm hoping some people in the LS who live around the area can provide some more details on their experiences.

We have mostly stuck to Couple Playhouse but are open for some new experiences and venues. Thoughts or suggestions?

My wife and I go to Secrets often as it’s pretty close. We always see single guys there struggling to get any real traction. Then, we never see them again.

I’m assuming because the cost is steep and that it wasn’t the brothel where every woman there was gonna fuck them that they thought would be that they decided to not return.

Have you all noticed that as well?

Well we are a gay couple together 15 years and only opened up this year. Well my rule was he not call anyone Baby! I thought that was reserved for me alone! But after a few guys and a few times of him calling the Fuck buddies baby! I just said fuck it all bets and rules off! We are now going with the flow it is what it is! We have no issues the only rule that we still adhere to is we both must agree on the guys we play with. but I am a horny fucker and a nice cock and tight ass is good for me!!!

Relatively new to group play, probably about a dozen group experiences, but I've experiences temporary ED a few times... but here's the kicker, I get hard again if I close my eyes. It's like I'm overstimulated and I have to close my eyes (and imagine I'm in the same room, with the same people).

I'm bi, but it happens more when I'm with a MF couple and the M is distracting me. I've recently connected with a fellow kinkster, and she's also into group play/MMF, so I'm trying to address this "temporary ED" thing.

Stats:

• 49 M
• Not overweight
• Take a daily Cialis dose
• Light/no alcohol consumption

Would a cock ring help with the temporary ED?

Are there any swingers clubs left in the Kansas City area? Everything can find is either closed permanently or is a strip club. Ultimately I'm looking for a place that allows for public sex and the possibility of finding an additional partner without it being required.