/r/oneliners

Photograph via //r/oneliners

Post your favorite oneliners!

Rules

Rule 1: Posts must be oneliners.

Generally a oneliner is a joke that is written in one sentence. If your post does not meet this requirement, it will be removed.

Rule 2: No recent reposts.

Try and keep reposts to a minimum. Use the search function to see if your oneliner has been posted recently (in the last 6 months) to avoid reposts.

Rule 3: General Reddiquette must be followed.

Your post/comment may be removed if it violates general reddiquette. Read about it here.

Rule 4: Moderators Discretion.

The moderators reserve the right to remove content deemed inappropriate for the subreddit.

Friends of Oneliners

/r/oneliners

174,108 Subscribers

3

Joe Biden is so old, his favorite flavor of edible underwear is Werther’s Original.

2 Comments
2024/06/28
18:44 UTC
12

Ex kept telling me I had no sense of direction so I got tired of it took my bags and right

0 Comments
2024/06/28
18:06 UTC
3

I heard that cannibal marriages are better than ours because they don't hate their mother-in-law's guts.

2 Comments
2024/06/28
15:25 UTC
11

I love telling dad jokes but he never laughs because he died 18 years ago.

0 Comments
2024/06/28
12:44 UTC
17

when a man marries a woman its a mystery, when he marries more than one its a bigamistry

3 Comments
2024/06/27
17:34 UTC
48

The ability to speak several languages is an asset, but the ability to keep your mouth shut in one language is priceless.

1 Comment
2024/06/27
14:56 UTC
0

I don't suffer from Autism... Autism suffers from having me.

1 Comment
2024/06/26
22:23 UTC
0

In the distant future people are gonna go to the hawk Tuah’s girls grave and spit on it and people are gonna be like wow what a compliment!

2 Comments
2024/06/26
14:40 UTC
8

avoid psychic vampires, their conversations really suck.

2 Comments
2024/06/26
14:38 UTC
5

Pro bowlers never strike!

4 Comments
2024/06/25
19:19 UTC
0

There’s one thing about baldness … it’s tidy.

1 Comment
2024/06/25
15:03 UTC
82

Fun fact: 98% of all German shepherds are dogs

4 Comments
2024/06/25
10:17 UTC
20

A baby seal walks into a club….

7 Comments
2024/06/25
02:49 UTC
0

Lizard people are people two

0 Comments
2024/06/24
20:01 UTC
0

New UFC sensation Jakindamenov makes a mess of all his opponents

1 Comment
2024/06/24
15:53 UTC
0

Currently, I'm ripping off my dentist because I don't go to him anymore...

1 Comment
2024/06/24
05:33 UTC
11

You can't tell secrets in a cornfield because of all the ears...

4 Comments
2024/06/24
05:29 UTC
7

The best thing about Miami is that it's near the United States.

11 Comments
2024/06/23
14:34 UTC
22

When a "Baby On Board" sticker is a little faded and beat up, you know the kid is at least a year or two old now and the car is safe to ram.

1 Comment
2024/06/23
02:36 UTC
100

The person who invented autocorrect should burn in hello.

8 Comments
2024/06/22
16:53 UTC
0

Raise your hand if it's getting harder to tumble out of bed and stumble to the kitchen.

1 Comment
2024/06/22
14:12 UTC
0

Speaking both corporately and behind closed doors, most men like to be on top, as they don't like to fuctup..

2 Comments
2024/06/22
07:28 UTC
6

One way or another, all vacuum cleaners suck.

0 Comments
2024/06/21
23:12 UTC
30

The patron saint of copying people on email is Saint Francis of a CC.

0 Comments
2024/06/21
20:13 UTC
2

Spell candy with only two letters! C and Y

0 Comments
2024/06/21
15:09 UTC
1

Confession is good for the soul but bad for your career.

1 Comment
2024/06/21
12:23 UTC
2

Escapology is well easy, I could do it with my hands tied behind my back.

0 Comments
2024/06/21
11:18 UTC
63

My sister's name is Candy and her pronouns are her, she...

14 Comments
2024/06/21
08:18 UTC
37

Deer breeders really know how to get the most bang for their buck.

3 Comments
2024/06/21
00:14 UTC
0

Rumor has it, that peeing on your feet in the shower relieves athletes foot, so by that thought process, does toe-jam work on jock itch..!?

0 Comments
2024/06/20
20:24 UTC
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