/r/oneliners

Photograph via //r/oneliners

Post your favorite oneliners!

Rules

Rule 1: Posts must be oneliners.

Generally a oneliner is a joke that is written in one sentence. If your post does not meet this requirement, it will be removed.

Rule 2: No recent reposts.

Try and keep reposts to a minimum. Use the search function to see if your oneliner has been posted recently (in the last 6 months) to avoid reposts.

Rule 3: General Reddiquette must be followed.

Your post/comment may be removed if it violates general reddiquette. Read about it here.

Rule 4: Moderators Discretion.

The moderators reserve the right to remove content deemed inappropriate for the subreddit.

Friends of Oneliners

/r/oneliners

172,659 Subscribers

7

A mannequin is always all dressed up with nowhere to go.

3 Comments
2024/04/13
21:27 UTC
5

We all make mistakes, said the hedgehog to the hairbrush

1 Comment
2024/04/13
20:18 UTC
0

If you didn’t want me to slide into your DMS then why are you driving one during the winter?

2 Comments
2024/04/12
22:43 UTC
2

“Meatballs” has gotta be the least creative food name.

18 Comments
2024/04/12
22:35 UTC
30

Finally, OJ can rest knowing his wife's killer is dead.

2 Comments
2024/04/12
21:23 UTC
0

I want a car model called a Snit.

7 Comments
2024/04/12
16:14 UTC
13

Had OJ plead guilty, his prostate would've been checked multiple times a day and this would've been caught earlier.

8 Comments
2024/04/11
22:56 UTC
21

Together I can beat schizophrenia.

4 Comments
2024/04/11
22:07 UTC
14

My gf broke up with me for being “very, very immature” but every time she hid her face in her hands, she disappeared.

3 Comments
2024/04/11
21:00 UTC
13

OJ Simpson died today so thousands of bad jokes could live.

3 Comments
2024/04/11
17:07 UTC
3

there are lies, damn lies, and campaign promises

0 Comments
2024/04/11
16:07 UTC
9

The older I am, the better I was.

0 Comments
2024/04/11
14:36 UTC
4

"It's all coming back to me" said the blind man pissing into the wind.

1 Comment
2024/04/11
03:28 UTC
7

If you hear a loud sound of a high enough frequency, it really Hertz.

1 Comment
2024/04/11
01:56 UTC
32

I went to a gender reveal party yesterday, but I misunderstood the directions and showed up naked.

8 Comments
2024/04/10
23:47 UTC
17

The Innuendo Society has seen a huge rise in it's members.

1 Comment
2024/04/10
16:57 UTC
14

My wife is so much better looking than me that a cashier just put a plastic divider down in the middle of our groceries.

7 Comments
2024/04/10
15:19 UTC
0

If it’s not pre-sliced, I don’t want it.

2 Comments
2024/04/10
03:03 UTC
19

The hardest years of my life was during my Viagra addiction.

2 Comments
2024/04/10
00:56 UTC
10

When Procter took on a new partner it was a Gamble.

0 Comments
2024/04/09
20:56 UTC
13

My best friend thanked me for teaching him minimalism; but it was the least I could do

0 Comments
2024/04/09
20:39 UTC
8

With God as my witness, I assure you I am an athiest.

1 Comment
2024/04/09
19:16 UTC
0

"The grass maybe greener over the fence, but it's still just as hard to mow" - John Butler trio.

1 Comment
2024/04/09
12:34 UTC
28

I'm bisexual.... every time I ask a woman for sex she says, bye!

10 Comments
2024/04/08
21:50 UTC
3

If once upon a time you were falling in love but now you're only falling apart, that's an entirely different type of eclipse.

0 Comments
2024/04/08
20:59 UTC
24

I told him I don't believe he really wrote an entire novel with glue, but he's sticking to his story.

2 Comments
2024/04/08
20:48 UTC
19

Koi fish always travel in groups of four so if they're attacked, A, B & C koi will scatter, leaving the D koi.

1 Comment
2024/04/08
20:16 UTC
4

An eclipse is an unlightening experience.

0 Comments
2024/04/08
19:25 UTC
4

Modesty is one of my many, many virtues.

0 Comments
2024/04/08
18:23 UTC
6

A dyslexic man walked into a bra

2 Comments
2024/04/08
14:37 UTC
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