/r/cleanjokes
For those of you who are either easily offended or just like clean jokes.
also check out /r/cleandadjokes
Try to keep your jokes as clean and non-offensive as possible. Other than that, have fun with it! =D
Your basic "mild" curse words (damn, hell) are fine, provided they are necessary for the joke Please report anything you see that you feel shouldn't be here.
If you think your post was caught by the spam filter, let us know. We usually catch them pretty fast, but we may not.
Related subreddits:
/r/meanjokes (beware, this one and /r/Jokesuncensored are the exact opposite of this community. If you're here because you don't like offensive jokes, these are probably not for you!)
/r/cleanjokes
Mark my words!
To get some tenders loving care
They wanted to go to a popular bar, but the Covid test said they wouldn't serve him there.
"Are you sure?" they asked.
"Yes," said the Covid test, "I'm positive."
The priest say, "Can I help you my son?"
The man says, "Father, it's been my life long dream to ring the steeple bell. I was wondering if you would allow me the honor."
The priest says, "Well, I don't mean to be indelicate, but you have no arms. How on God's Earth would you pull the rope?"
"Well I think I have that figured out", the man said, "if you would allow me to demonstrate."
"Very well." The priest said and he lead the man up the staircase to the steeple where the bell is. Without a word the man bends over at the waist and runs face first into the bell. It lurches forward with a loud BONG, but on the way back it hits the man and knocks him off the steeple and he falls all the way to the ground.
The priest in a panic runs down the stairs and out the church doors, where a small crowd was gathered. The priest looked at the man and he was clearly dead,
Just then a fellow from the town looks at the priest and says, "Father, did you know this man?"
The priest says, "I don't but his face rings a bell."
The next day a man walks in the church and says, "Father, it was my brother that fell from your steeple yesterday. All he ever wanted to do was ring that bell. I wonder, would you allow me to ring the bell in his honor?"
The priest notices that this man has both arms, so he agrees and leads him up to the steeple. Once they get up there, without a word, the man bends at the waist as his brother did, and runs face first into the bell. It goes BONG, and on the recoil, it hits the man and knocks him off the steeple to his death.
Once again the priest is mortified and runs down the stairs and out to the street to where the townsfolk are gathering around the body. Once again the same fellow looks at the priest and says, "Now I don't suppose you know who this man is father."
The priest said, "I don't, but he's a dead ringer for his brother."
It had a problem with boos
He wasn’t an observant Jew.
They fall in love.. decide to get married.
Day of the big event, the ceremony was nice, .. but the reception..
The bartender says, "You can stay but don't try to start anything."
An old joke, I know.
He starts swinging his dog around and around his head by the leash. The bartender stares at the blind man for a second before asking, "Sir, what are you doing?"
"Just having a look around."
Marcus Absent
Casualdejekyll
It looks 'round!
Husband: Let me grab my jacket. We're going to the gas station!
Because they'd crack each other up
Everyone else had clothes on.
and finding that I’m the only snack in this house.
They were discovered to be two 0s in a trench coat !
Because he wanted to draw ✏️ his weapon! 🔫
They always spill the beans.
... is that perl jam?
That’s two degrees of separation
I know, I know; I brood too much.
They put on down-underwear.
Because Dec 25 = Oct 31.
I farted so loud,
Phil Collins could feel it in the air at night... Oh Lord. :D
Because light attracts bugs! 🤦♂️🤦♀️🤦
Carry on 💪.
Those who can extrapolate with given data and
“Nice belt.”
Those who know how to finish their sentences and