Hi all, here's a kind request to help me finish a joke (I hope this is allowed). I first heard it just over 10 years ago, but forgot the punchline and it's been bugging me since.

I heard it at the financial markets conference during the Eurozone crisis 2011, and it goes like this:

"European markets are like European art-house movies. (the part I forgot) ... and leave you depressed afterwards".

Any ideas how to recreate this joke will be appreciated!

Thanks a ton

"That's not him," the first blonde states. "This man only has one eye." The chief is stunned. "He only has one eye because it's a profile shot." He repeats the procedure for the second blonde. "That's not him.This man only has one ear," she answers. He smacks his head. "It's a profile shot." He repeats the procedure for the third blonde. After viewing the photo, she says, "That's not him. This man is wearing contact lenses." "How do you know that?" "Well," she says, "he can't wear glasses with only one eye and one ear, now can he?"

but now I use my hands.

If you want to know, I'm going back to using toilet paper.

But a dino might.

When asked what happened, the driver said, "I was on the freeway doing 80 when a car passed me going 100, so I put it in Race..."

Why were the blueberry parents disappointed in their son? He bleuet.

Nothing they fast.

I'm rooting for her!

It's been a waist of time.

The redhead makes it 10 miles, is exhausted, gives up, and drowns. The brunette makes it 15 miles before she's too tired to go any farther and drowns. The blonde gets 19 miles away from the deserted island, decides she's too tired to go any farther, and swims all the way back to the deserted island.

And one of them said, "Ya know, this place really is a three ring circus".

You might poke your aye out. Or worse, get kilt.

"Chuck Norris" was already taken.

Me: I don’t think I know six people without any problems

He had exceptional ham dye coordination.

Sure, every vote would end in “neighs,” but hay, at least the housing market would be stable. Coming to a Neighborhood near you.

"Oh my God, it's coming towards us!"

Tonight, dinner's on me!

All it gave me was 17,000 matches

Ptolemy: "Uh you guys ever uh notice how those stars look like a bear?"

She gave me a hug.

Which sounds so much better than alcoholic.

“That’s bananas!”

It was no great feat.

It's only now I can talk about it.

 I went fishing this morning, but after a short time I ran out of worms.

 Then I saw a cottonmouth with a frog in its mouth.

 Frogs are good bass bait. 

 Knowing the snake couldn't bite me with the frog in its mouth, I grabbed it right behind the head, took the frog, and put it in my bait bucket.

 Now the dilemma was how to release the snake without getting bit. So, I grabbed my bottle of Jack Daniels and poured a little whiskey in its mouth. Its eyes rolled back, and it went limp. 

 I released the snake into the lake without incident and carried on fishing, using the frog.

 Not long after, I felt a nudge on my foot. It was that damn snake... with two more frogs. 

As I sat down next to a gentleman and his wife I lifted my leg and let out a little fart. The gentleman turned to me and said “how dare you fart before my wife!” “Oh, I’m terribly sorry” I said “I wasn’t aware it was her turn!”

Doorman turns and says "you are a four wheeler". Man: "what the d***l do you mean sir?" D: well I could hardly call you handsome

This is a rather old joke, from when taxis were pulled by horses. The fast ones were two wheeled and called handsome cabs. The slow ones carried more people but were heavier, and, yes, had 4 wheels