/r/3amjokes
/r/3amjokes - for all the stupid humor of sleep deprivation.
Have you been up for longer than a normal human being can operate? Good.
Have you just laughed at a joke that wouldn't be funny otherwise?
submit your insomniac dad jokes today
/r/3amjokes - for all the stupid humor of sleep deprivation. "So bad, its good"
Have you been up for longer than a normal human being can operate? Good.
Have you just laughed at a joke that wouldn't be funny otherwise?
TELL US ALL ABOUT IT. NOW.
Jokes should be stupid, nonsensical, and more or less unfunny at any point before sleep deprivation kicks in. Think of dad jokes for insomniacs.
Try to avoid longform jokes or reposts of jokes that have been posted within the last month. Posting jokes from other subs is allowed.
| Rule | Explanation |
|---|---|
| 1. Be civil | Remember the human behind the keyboard and try to treat others as you would prefer to be treated. |
| 2. Follow Reddit's rules | This includes reddiquette and all sitewide rules that can be found here |
| 3. No spam | Pretty straightforward, don't spam. If your post gets caught in the spam filter please message the mods and it will be fixed. |
| 4. No promoting targeted hate | racism, misogyny, bigotry will not be tolerated to any extent. users that incite violence or that promote hate based on identity or vulnerability will be banned. |
Related subreddits:
- /r/Punny
- /r/3AMThoughts
- /r/antijokes
- /r/cleanjokes
- /r/dadjokes
- /r/mommajokes
- /r/NeuralJokes
- /r/oneliners/
Useful reddit tools:
Sidebar last updated: Jan 23rth 2021
/r/3amjokes
2,342,707 Subscribers
A Toilet for our Times
Where the toilet is? I went all in with 2nd pair and shit my pants. Because I didn't know where the toilet was, some of it slopped out down my leg, and onto the floor whilst I was searching for the bog. It was OK though, fortunately they had those push up ceiling tiles in the toilet, so I hid my shitstained pants there, and flicked a bit of water onto my arse and got some paper to dry, and was back in buisness. I just realised, ur all probably yanks, so when I say pants I mean underwear. I'm from the UK. Lot of history the UK has. What about your place, do you have much?
I may retrieve those pants. I think they would be safe to manoeuvre with.
03:51 UTC
What did the cupcake tell its frosting?
I'd be muffin without you.
03:24 UTC
What would Spider Man be named if he was bitten by a radioactive Valet Attendant
Peter Parker
01:46 UTC
What do you call a group of Mormons who take hallucinogens
LDS for LSD
00:03 UTC
What did one wall say to the other wall?
I'll meet you at the corner! 🧱😂
23:13 UTC
Why did the scarecrow break up with his girlfriend?
Because he was outstanding in his field, but she just wanted to plow with every other crop!
19:55 UTC
What kind of cheese isn't yours?
NACHO CHEESE...
19:23 UTC
RIP, boiling water!!!
You will be mist...
18:49 UTC
My girlfriend dumped me when we were at the Goodwill.
I feel really used.
16:38 UTC
What do girls and squids have in common?
If you touch them enough they ink
16:14 UTC
Why doesn't Netflix want Donald to debate Kamala again?
They already have that show: Orange vs the New Black.
15:28 UTC
Why do substances like meth and heroin fuck you over so much?
Because they're hard drugs.
14:43 UTC
The unluckiest person in my family is my uncle.
Two weeks after he went blind, his guide dog went deaf.
13:52 UTC
Why did the boy bring his cat to school?
Because when he passed his parents room he heard his father say to his mother "I'm eating that pussy when the kid goes to school."
13:50 UTC
What do you call flowers that have 2 pussies?
Tulips
Edit: I didn't know a pussy has 2 lips lmao.
13:47 UTC
I asked my friend: Why do you always take your bike instead of your car when you go on a date?
He replied: Because every girl I date ends by asking me if I wanna ride her, not to give her a drive.
13:33 UTC
At the airport the officer asked me: What's your name? Me: I'm John S5FL9zYtrUMv.
Officer (after checking my ID): Whaaaaat? Is that your real last name?
Yes, I've changed it last year. I wanted it to match my e-mail account password.
12:16 UTC
Noel and Liam were just starting their band and trying to think of a name, when their lesser discussed female sibling knocked on the door asking to join.
To which Liam replied "away sis!".
08:39 UTC
I don’t know why my first dates always end up so bizarre
Like for the most recent one for example, we were at a fancy restaurant and everything was going so well. But right before we started eating, she out of the blue asked me to have sex with a short girl. I was shocked and left immediately! I can’t believe someone I just met would tell me to bone a petite!
07:22 UTC
What did the chicken say to the road it was crossing.
Of course I'm stepping on you, you're flat
04:45 UTC
How do you know a rabid dog is feeling left out?
You can see his FOMO in the mouth
03:40 UTC
Why is Donald afraid to debate Kamala?
He feels harrised.
03:11 UTC
How does a bunny propose?
With 18 carrots! 🥕🥕 💍💍
02:47 UTC
A girl wandered in a forest full of mist and thought a tree was a figure
I guess she was mist-taken
00:55 UTC
What do you call ideal white meat?
The breast case scenario
00:38 UTC
Which sea life knows the fundamentals of everything?
Core-all
00:32 UTC
How does a terrorist leave a building?
They blow the place.
21:56 UTC
What's the difference between a genealogist and a gynecologist?
One looks up the family tree, the other looks up the family bush.
21:49 UTC
I played tennis with my mind the other day.
Well, that is if memory serves me right.
20:31 UTC
What do you call the undead roaming Athens?
Zombie Acropolis
19:42 UTC