/r/3amjokes
/r/3amjokes - for all the stupid humor of sleep deprivation.
Have you been up for longer than a normal human being can operate? Good.
Have you just laughed at a joke that wouldn't be funny otherwise?
submit your insomniac dad jokes today
/r/3amjokes - for all the stupid humor of sleep deprivation. "So bad, its good"
Have you been up for longer than a normal human being can operate? Good.
Have you just laughed at a joke that wouldn't be funny otherwise?
TELL US ALL ABOUT IT. NOW.
Jokes should be stupid, nonsensical, and more or less unfunny at any point before sleep deprivation kicks in. Think of dad jokes for insomniacs.
Try to avoid longform jokes or reposts of jokes that have been posted within the last month. Posting jokes from other subs is allowed.
| Rule | Explanation |
|---|---|
| 1. Be civil | Remember the human behind the keyboard and try to treat others as you would prefer to be treated. |
| 2. Follow Reddit's rules | This includes reddiquette and all sitewide rules that can be found here |
| 3. No spam | Pretty straightforward, don't spam. If your post gets caught in the spam filter please message the mods and it will be fixed. |
| 4. No promoting targeted hate | racism, misogyny, bigotry will not be tolerated to any extent. users that incite violence or that promote hate based on identity or vulnerability will be banned. |
Related subreddits:
- /r/Punny
- /r/3AMThoughts
- /r/antijokes
- /r/cleanjokes
- /r/dadjokes
- /r/mommajokes
- /r/NeuralJokes
- /r/oneliners/
Useful reddit tools:
Sidebar last updated: Jan 23rth 2021
/r/3amjokes
2,348,081 Subscribers
What do you call a dog run over by an OBGYN?
a pupsmear
(no dogs were harmed in the making of this joke!)
03:46 UTC
Do you know why I wasn’t so concerned when I heard someone fell?
Because it’s the sudden stop in the end that got to me
01:29 UTC
Why did the ocean break up with the pond?
Because it felt like it needed more space!
01:14 UTC
Why did the moon go to therapy?
To work through its phases!
01:13 UTC
Which recording device puts you at risk of an STD?
Came-raw
22:35 UTC
What's Stephen hawking called when he smokes weed
Fried vegetable
21:50 UTC
Have you ever been threatened with a jar of diet mayonnaise?
It's nothing to take lightly.
20:41 UTC
They say it takes too long to make the hole in the front of men's underwear now.
It's only a brief window.
20:11 UTC
They don't make men's underwear with the hole in front anymore, it's too time consuming.
And it's only a brief window.
20:07 UTC
The penis mightier than the sword
And I'm potent
19:50 UTC
Why did the chicken cross the road?
He didn’t, he chickened out!
18:17 UTC
Was in a curry house the other day
And on the next table a diving bird was complaining bitterly about the food. He’d ordered a curry with chicken and coconut milk and he HATED it. Went on about it for some time. It was a cormorant.
(I woke my partner up to tell her this one, unsurprisingly she didn’t think it was very funny, but then it was about half 2 in the morning)
17:55 UTC
What's a vampire's least favorite meal?
Stake.
17:39 UTC
Why do most honeymoons last 7 days?
Because 7 days makes a hole weak
17:00 UTC
What do you call a pigeon that can't fly
It's still a fucking pigeon
15:55 UTC
Good moms let you lick the beaters.
Great moms turn them off first.
12:50 UTC
What's the easiest building to lift?
A lighthouse
12:06 UTC
I studied abroad in College.
FYI, chicks don't like being called broads no more.
11:35 UTC
What do you call a female turtle?
A clitortoise!
11:29 UTC
Dear autocorrect…
I never wanted to write about my love for big black ducks.
11:15 UTC
I warned my friend many times not to play Russian roulette…
It went in one ear and out the other.
10:21 UTC
What do you call a redditor with negative karma.
A tweeter.
08:12 UTC
When the hide and seek competition started,
I knew I had to hide my excitement – or else I'd be too easy to find!
08:09 UTC
I tried to play hide and seek with my cat,
but she always gives herself away with her tail-tell signs.
08:07 UTC
When you die, what part of your body dies late?
Your pupils, they dilate.
06:13 UTC
What did the ocean say to the beach on a sunny day?
"Water you up to?"
05:50 UTC
I thought getting a robot duck would be a good idea.
But then I saw the electric bill.
05:49 UTC
New Motto of Boing
when one door closes, another door opens.
04:37 UTC
Nowadays, I find myself trying to enjoy the simple things.
You know, like heroin.
03:06 UTC
Why was the mortician fired?
Because he didn't meet the dead-line.
02:32 UTC