/r/3amjokes

Photograph via snooOG

/r/3amjokes - for all the stupid humor of sleep deprivation.

Have you been up for longer than a normal human being can operate? Good.

Have you just laughed at a joke that wouldn't be funny otherwise?

submit your insomniac dad jokes today

/r/3amjokes - for all the stupid humor of sleep deprivation. "So bad, its good"

Have you been up for longer than a normal human being can operate? Good.

Have you just laughed at a joke that wouldn't be funny otherwise?

TELL US ALL ABOUT IT. NOW.

Jokes should be stupid, nonsensical, and more or less unfunny at any point before sleep deprivation kicks in. Think of dad jokes for insomniacs.

Try to avoid longform jokes or reposts of jokes that have been posted within the last month. Posting jokes from other subs is allowed.

Rule Explanation
1. Be civil Remember the human behind the keyboard and try to treat others as you would prefer to be treated.
2. Follow Reddit's rules This includes reddiquette and all sitewide rules that can be found here
3. No spam Pretty straightforward, don't spam. If your post gets caught in the spam filter please message the mods and it will be fixed.
4. No promoting targeted hate racism, misogyny, bigotry will not be tolerated to any extent. users that incite violence or that promote hate based on identity or vulnerability will be banned.

Related subreddits:

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Sidebar last updated: Jan 23rth 2021

/r/3amjokes

2,330,050 Subscribers

4

What was Osama’s favorite sport team?

The NY Jets.

0 Comments
2024/06/30
17:05 UTC

1

I asked my friend how things have been since he turned into a dog.

He said “ruff!”

0 Comments
2024/06/30
16:59 UTC

2

Little Johnny's teacher was teaching a lesson on the circulation of blood.

Trying to make the matter clearer, she said, "Now, class, if I stood on my head, the blood, as you know, would run into it, and I would turn red in the face."

"Yes," the class said.

"Then why is it that while I am standing upright in the ordinary position, the blood doesn't run into my feet?"

Little Johnny shouted, "Cause your feet ain't empty!

0 Comments
2024/06/30
16:42 UTC

6

How do you descibe a bird that believes everything it's told?

Gullible

2 Comments
2024/06/30
14:56 UTC

13

Have you heard of the guy who assaults people with breakfast food?

He's a cereal offender.

3 Comments
2024/06/30
14:39 UTC

3

Why do fortune tellers use crystal ball to see the future?

So they can see your future, crystal clear.

0 Comments
2024/06/30
11:00 UTC

30

What’s a cows favorite activity?

Going to the MOOOOOVIES

11 Comments
2024/06/30
10:50 UTC

4

I think "another" is far superior to "other"

"other" is only vaguely something different but "another" is really something else

4 Comments
2024/06/30
09:33 UTC

20

Why is good computer software sexist?

It’s use-sir friendly

7 Comments
2024/06/30
09:09 UTC

127

What gets hard in the morning?

A lot of tasks.

31 Comments
2024/06/30
08:58 UTC

2

Which car wash involves pubes?

A d-tail

2 Comments
2024/06/30
08:09 UTC

3

It’s crazy how our thinking has developed

My brain straight away translates “wtf” but not “lol”...

1 Comment
2024/06/30
07:32 UTC

8

What city do eggs live in?

New Yolk

10 Comments
2024/06/30
07:30 UTC

7

I went into a bar the other night, about 2 in the morning. There was a chick sitting at the edge of the bar, and she looked pretty good.

So I slide over about 10 stools and asked her if she liked cocktails. She said yah, tell me a few.

1 Comment
2024/06/30
06:40 UTC

24

What do you get if you stick your penis in brine & vinegar?

A dickle

13 Comments
2024/06/30
04:51 UTC

39

How did the Australian man tell his boyfriend that he cheated?

“Goo’d on ya mate.”

11 Comments
2024/06/30
02:05 UTC

124

How do you trigger a redditor?

Your going to have too make a post with grammar bad on their.

64 Comments
2024/06/30
00:56 UTC

15

When do sailors stop playing cards?

When their captain is on deck.

6 Comments
2024/06/29
22:43 UTC

13

What do you call multiple bloodsucking insects that discuss the inner workings of world events?

Poly-ticks

4 Comments
2024/06/29
22:04 UTC

84

What is the differences between a hungry person and a horny person?

They have the cucumber for a different reason

15 Comments
2024/06/29
19:38 UTC

2

This dog had 4 different owners!

His buddy count is 4.

1 Comment
2024/06/29
17:31 UTC

8

What do you call two people talking about a specific brand of shoes?

A Coverse-ation

2 Comments
2024/06/29
16:50 UTC

0

They are taking away marvels characters iconic bow & arrow and giving him a Straw & wadded chewed up paper, he now going to be called...

Hawkeye Tuah

0 Comments
2024/06/29
16:39 UTC

157

What's greater than foreskin?

Fiveskin.

31 Comments
2024/06/29
15:08 UTC

1

I’m unthawing in Iceland today.

Next week I’ll be the Dominican thawing out.

1 Comment
2024/06/29
14:45 UTC

10

Why do dog trainers have long lasting marriages?

Because they know how to get someone to stay

4 Comments
2024/06/29
14:15 UTC

1

My friend went to a restaurant and ordered the Jerk chicken it came with white sauce

He said it was so good, and asked the waiter what the white sauce was

The waiter said that's the secret sauce of the jerk chicken which used to be called Choke chicken

1 Comment
2024/06/29
13:49 UTC

8

i HATE islanders so much…they’re so barbaric and mean

They’re so insular.

(People who take Latin get it)

3 Comments
2024/06/29
13:35 UTC

0

The doctor says I have low TESTosterone

I asked "where do I rank"

He said "you get an F-"

Damn I always suck at Tests

1 Comment
2024/06/29
12:52 UTC

4

I picked up a penny & had good luck all day, but....

At night I got stabbed, shot, & ran over my luck ran out at night

4 Comments
2024/06/29
12:48 UTC

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