/r/3amjokes

Photograph via snooOG

/r/3amjokes - for all the stupid humor of sleep deprivation.

Have you been up for longer than a normal human being can operate? Good.

Have you just laughed at a joke that wouldn't be funny otherwise?

submit your insomniac dad jokes today

/r/3amjokes - for all the stupid humor of sleep deprivation. "So bad, its good"

Have you been up for longer than a normal human being can operate? Good.

Have you just laughed at a joke that wouldn't be funny otherwise?

TELL US ALL ABOUT IT. NOW.

Jokes should be stupid, nonsensical, and more or less unfunny at any point before sleep deprivation kicks in. Think of dad jokes for insomniacs.

Try to avoid longform jokes or reposts of jokes that have been posted within the last month. Posting jokes from other subs is allowed.

Rule Explanation
1. Be civil Remember the human behind the keyboard and try to treat others as you would prefer to be treated.
2. Follow Reddit's rules This includes reddiquette and all sitewide rules that can be found here
3. No spam Pretty straightforward, don't spam. If your post gets caught in the spam filter please message the mods and it will be fixed.
4. No promoting targeted hate racism, misogyny, bigotry will not be tolerated to any extent. users that incite violence or that promote hate based on identity or vulnerability will be banned.

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Sidebar last updated: Jan 23rth 2021

/r/3amjokes

2,330,240 Subscribers

7

Sadly, Dr Ruth has died.

Her last words: “think of me when you masturbate.”

2 Comments
2024/07/13
15:03 UTC

5

My Mexican friend got pissed that he got stopped & asked for a receipt

The worker said sorry we stop everyJuan and ask for a receipt

1 Comment
2024/07/13
14:53 UTC

4

A Jedi got major league baseball wookie of the year award.

...though some might argue he keeps slicing the ball...

0 Comments
2024/07/13
14:33 UTC

28

What do you call a homeless spy?

James Vagabond.

4 Comments
2024/07/13
14:18 UTC

0

Now Time For..."I shot of a cannon to tell you I Costco!!"""

I feeeeeel soooooo crappy just like I said.

two or three more shots from the cannon should do the trick

Hi Ho Hi Hum

Her name is Brum

Love is great when you fall

out of a cannon

(Puts on helmet climbs in) Ahh Home safe home!

Gee I hope I don't realize all the holes....

shoots out at a Costco

That's what this is about right? No? (flying like superman) hmmm then I guess I offer a wide selection of stuff? No? Uhh How silly to love hey look a bird

Bird "view of the stars is sweaty"

The End

0 Comments
2024/07/13
12:58 UTC

0

Now Time For!!! "The Curious George Guy Walking!!"

OK game the football player said walking. His curiosity for George had made him retire from being a mime. He brought his hammer down on the anvil and sparks shot out. It was his second job. From eely all form a train and he penned out all his thoughts. Thank you.

2 Comments
2024/07/13
12:14 UTC

6

What do you tell when a barber rescues a cancer patient?

He shaved his life

1 Comment
2024/07/13
10:07 UTC

5

Latecomers Anonymous is of no help, they are gone before I come.

Worse was.. Newcomers Anonymous, had no mentors or coffee.

1 Comment
2024/07/13
09:31 UTC

5

Now....Time for...."The devil isn't this frog"

Hey Chris I... Whoa! I'm like super lost already!

Chirs: here lick this frog I did

(Is it already time for....lick this frog?) uh ok (licks frog)

Chris: it does nothing

Frog ( wait I thought I was the cure.... I guess its just love)

6 Comments
2024/07/13
09:11 UTC

16

What's 2+2?

🖕

13 Comments
2024/07/13
06:37 UTC

68

What was Napoleon’s favorite kind of ice cream?

He didn’t have just one, he was a fan of chocolate, strawberry and vanilla.

33 Comments
2024/07/13
02:16 UTC

13

My Canadian friend

I threw some footwear at my Canadian friend

He asked "What's That aBoot?

I said "Yes"

3 Comments
2024/07/12
23:45 UTC

16

Why did the chicken cross the road?

Because the road crossed the chicken first and the chicken never learned to handle negative emotions constructively and responded to the road being cross by acting out and irritating the road in turn which is what my father always did with my mother and now I find myself doing to my partner in a vicious cycle I fear repeating with my own children if we ever decide to have some but with the current housing market and impending WW3 and the environment going to shit we probably shouldn't and why can't I sleep please let me sleep this has gone on for long enough already

4 Comments
2024/07/12
22:32 UTC

29

i have room temperature iq

292.15°Kelvin

15 Comments
2024/07/12
18:30 UTC

23

Why do Russian helicopter pilots learn well from mistakes?

Because their hind-sight is 20/20

7 Comments
2024/07/12
17:03 UTC

19

The cops threw a Jellyfish pokemon at me?

That was TentaCruel & unusual punishment

4 Comments
2024/07/12
16:41 UTC

46

What do you call a sibling who can't stop crying?

!A sob-ling cri-sis!<

9 Comments
2024/07/12
15:41 UTC

224

What do you call it when you orgasm while urinating?

A pee nut.

29 Comments
2024/07/12
15:03 UTC

13

What is graffiti in Berlin called?

Spree paint

4 Comments
2024/07/12
14:32 UTC

24

What is a PC's favourite sentence?

"I want to speak to the task manager!"

3 Comments
2024/07/12
13:28 UTC

3

Breaking Bad Music Edition

JAZZIE!

1 Comment
2024/07/12
12:40 UTC

16

A man celebrates winning the jackpot at a casino by taking a swig of alcohol.

It was a lucky shot.

4 Comments
2024/07/12
10:17 UTC

2

Ms Nomer?

I hardly know him!

0 Comments
2024/07/12
10:15 UTC

49

There once was a girl who had a very hairy boyfriend.

She was always very upset due to this. Whenever they would kiss or hug or do whatever together the hairs were always a nuisance. They had tried a lot of ways to fix it. Finally she decided to meet the best gardener of the city. The gardener was very professional and had maintained the lawns of all the big celebrities in the city. He was an expert in his job. The girl married the gardener and went on to live a happy life.

8 Comments
2024/07/12
09:26 UTC

4

The third floor of the library has a circular floor plan overlooking a central plaza.

Its a neverending story.

3 Comments
2024/07/12
08:53 UTC

3

Did you see the fight at the rave?

That guy sure knew MDMMA!

0 Comments
2024/07/12
07:11 UTC

7

Why are eggs dangerous?

They're crackheads!

1 Comment
2024/07/12
06:59 UTC

4

What do you call it when a baby sheep criticizes you harshly in front of everyone?

Lamblasted.

3 Comments
2024/07/12
06:55 UTC

1

NOW.....TIME FOR....."I'd rather eat better!!"

I gathered too much food at a cost a daily weed.

here mouse have some food

mouse pretending to be blind with sunglasses 'thanks, you know my uncle was in the FDA, accomplishment.

0 Comments
2024/07/12
06:04 UTC

99

What do you call a guy with a small dick?

Just-in!

57 Comments
2024/07/12
05:41 UTC

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