I have a crush on a coworker, I asked him out a year ago and he rejected me. Still my feelings persist, but he acts like I don’t exist. How do I stop caring about him? I feel so pathetic for still wanting him to notice me.

well as a child I cried a lot as a child I had a great lack of remorse and ended up being manipulative. I was also a very very strong daydreamer.

for some reason

now I am too defensive, can't control my crying, too much remorse, cant pay attention, really forgetful, and really observant

they always refuse to get help I really want to know what exactly is wrong

Currently I am 19m, and am sitting in my workplace bathroom fighting back from breaking down. I don’t have any friends. I don’t have anybody to talk to; and if I do I don’t know how to talk to them. Im too nervous and scared of being judged to even talk to anyone in public. I feel like my walls are crashing in even when I go into a store. I haven’t cried in about 3 years. I’m partway being sexually harassed and don’t know how to talk about, because I will be judged by family. I’m failing all of my college classes. I am doing four people jobs for my one at work and don’t know how to speak up about it without shutting down. I feel like some people like me but constantly can’t stop thinking about how I’m wrong and how they all judge and talk about me behind my back. I can’t get over a girl who left over two years ago. I can’t fix my mental state. I tried to find god but can’t. I just have so much stuff and more going on right now and don’t know how to talk to anyone about it or what to do. I’m sorry for this long post, but I gotta get back to work.

No comment, just how?

I’m just exhausted and alone and want it to stop. Yesterday was a pretty traumatic day, but I feel like I’m over reacting because I’m alone and have no one that I want to talk to. Sure there’s a few people who have offered, but I don’t want them. My best friends pretty much ignored me when I talked to them about it and I get it, they have kids and lives, but I have no one and they know this and know about all of the other stuff I’ve been through and am going through and I just feel ignored and unlovable. I feel like this is all my fault and I always fuck up no matter how hard I try. I’m just a burden. All I do is cry, sleep, be angry, or work. I’m in therapy and I’m working on it, but it just feels so deep and the holes just getting deeper. I just want it all to end, but it won’t. I have to just deal with it and keep being strong. I’ve already texted my therapist to see if she has any appointments for today. Otherwise I don’t see her until Monday. Idk why I’m posting here. I just needed to get it out.

I (16m) have recently been struggling with mental health the stress of exams and other factors and l've been having suicidal thoughts for a prolonged period not just because of the stress of exams. I've also noticed recently that I may have a porn addiction which is also affecting my mental health and I don't know what to do about it. It's been affecting me in everyday life I no longer see people for them being themselves I see them for their sexual value to me l can no longer speak to a girl on just a friendship way every thought I have is purely sexual which has become a major problem. I believe I like a girl however I realise that it fluctuates a lot and that I don't actually like a girl for her but for her value to me. Its a serious problem and I recognise that so anyone out there with experience if you could share some advice it would be greatly appreciated. I've also noticed that I no longer feel any sort of love to my own mum, everything she does seems to annoy me even if it's showing affection to me or just cracking a joke and I can't seem to grasp the fact I don't love her anymore. I feel no compassion towards her anymore and l've felt like it for a long while. Am I a bad person. Any advice on this would be greatly appreciated as well.

This sounds silly but I don’t want to wish for Christmas presents because I hate waste and I’ve been dealing with suicidal ideation. And my thoughts are: even though I don’t plant to kill myself atm, if I did… it would be a waste of money and efforts spent on me for presents. But I can’t let waste happen, it makes me feel awfully guilty to think about it.
I have things I want for Christmas (guitar stuff, books, perfume, altogether not really cheap) and if I don’t give my family a list then they’ll just buy whatever, but I couldn’t possibly kill myself any time soon after Christmas because the presents would be wasted on me.

What do I do? I know i technically deserve presents and I’m really not actively suicidal, but I just feel so bad and conflicted about this.

Anyone have the same thing? Is this normal? How long will it disappeared? Thank you so much

Dear all,

i'm living in a special needs home, and i'm currently experiencing mental challenges

with residents and staff,

i'm hoping i am allowed to post this and following rules

the long stuff short, i've got born brain damage, and have a disharmonic IQ profile

due this, the way i'm a resident of the needs home i'm challenged by people who can be very aggressive verbally but at the same time those residents are really big kids...

if i seek protection against this behavior, i'm not supported, and just have to figure stuff out myself

the standard stuff to grow a thick skin and such, and being told that the staff won't mediate in this

Does anyone have a tip to regain my mental safety and stability in this?

moving to another place is no option, and if i file a complaint, i'm the bad soul in the end and receive repercussions...

Im a creep, i know that, deep down i know that, every woman that i loved till now pushed me away, its not theyre fault that i creeped them out. Im alone, i never had no one close to guide me, but to face that is too painfull, its like always crashing into a wall at full speed, i know that my feelings for these women don't matter and they never served other purpose then to make them see me as a person who makes them uncomfortable but it hurts too much.

I struggle with both of these and was wondering if it's common to feel the need to repeatedly check if I've turned things off and locked the windows and doors.

I'm struggling hard-core, and half of me thinks I'm paranoid and the other half thinks it's real. My hubby has always gawked at the other "hot" girls and has a sex addiction. It was just porn for a while and It's always women or men that are considered "hot" 10/10. We are now in an open relationship (its complicated) and he keeps saying how I am "too picky" since most of the people I say no to are "too attractive" and intimidate me to the point where I know I'll just be nervous the whole time (I struggle with body dysmorphiaand cptsd among a few other things) anyway, he told me that I need to "put aside my insecurities" for him Sine he would do the same for me. My mom made me believe my worth is based on my appearance and he knows this too. Idk why I'm typing this, I guess u just needed to vent

Not sure if anyone can relate to this but I get in these episodes sometimes where I completely shut down and I’m not sure what to call it . I can go one minute completely happy and next minute feeling like I’m disconnected from the world. It’s like i’m there but i’m not there . My friends can be talking to me and Im not really there or hearing them and all they get is a couple words out of me . I don’t feel sad in those moments but I just completely shut down and just want to be isolated . At first I thought it was because im on Zoloft now but , this is been happening way before I started taking it .

Hi. From now on, I apologize if I sound incoherent, lately I haven't even felt like thinking. Also, I'm warning you that this text is very long. I'm 22 years old, and far from having a fun life, going to parties, hanging out with friends, hopping from partner to partner, being jovial, having hope, in short, being young, I have the most depressing life in the world, or at least I see it that way. I regularly find myself idealizing my early childhood, I would very much like to be a child again, not because of how a child's life is, but because I would like to feel joy again. I haven't felt happy since I was about 11 years old. When I was little, I was always bullied a lot. I never had friends, and nobody ever preferred to be with me over anyone else. I remember always spending my time crying, looking out the window of my house, watching others play and have fun. They never included me, I was always alone. I've always thought that there are people who have an effect on their surroundings regardless of how they are. There are unpleasant people, good people, and average people who are always surrounded by people. There are others who are regular, and others who push people away and make them show their darkest side. I was always one of the latter. When I was a child, it bothered me a lot, but I don't care much anymore. Well, the truth is, I don't care about anything. You might be wondering why I would want to go back to such a horrible childhood. Well, it's because even though the world always showed me its ugliest and most unpleasant side, even when I wasn't old enough to see it, even though I was rejected and hurt, even though nobody liked me despite not being a bad person, even though I felt so alone, just reading an encyclopedia would make me imagine and be delighted. Just watching TV would make me lose myself in it. Just playing with toys would make me so happy. Just the love of my parents and my siblings (the only people who genuinely love me and care about my well-being) was enough. It was enough to make me forget about the horrors of the world. It's not enough anymore. I've lost the love of reading for centuries. I don't enjoy watching TV, like most adults. Toys don't appeal to me, and you wouldn't believe how much I hate that, despite my family adoring me, I don't feel happy. My bubble of innocence is gone, it has disappeared. As I said, I'm a 22-year-old adult, and I'm more unstable than ever. Negative and horrible thoughts keep coming into my head. I have horrendous panic attacks that I am so ashamed of. It's been centuries since I've wanted to have friends, because I've been through such horrible things at the hands of others, and so often, that I'm even afraid of people now. My responsibilities are driving me crazy, and I don't want to do them because I don't even feel like getting out of bed in the mornings. Even getting out of bed weighs on me. Even though I have recurring horrible and violent nightmares that make me wake up crying, I still don't want to get up. In fact, it's a relief to think that I'm falling asleep and never waking up again. Nothing motivates me. I don't like anything. Nothing makes me happy. Nothing brings me anything positive. I feel dead inside. I would love to be dead on the outside too. I don't want to fight anymore, but I can't stop doing it. I have to keep trying. If I leave, it would make my family suffer, and their suffering would destroy me. I don't want to cause them suffering, they don't deserve it. But I hate everything, everything. I don't want to continue, seriously. From the moment I wake up until I fall asleep, everything feels depressing and dead to me. Nothing has color. I feel empty. I don't feel anything anymore. Nothing matters to me anymore. There's nothing I want here except my family. They are the only people, the only people I still feel something for, and they are the only people who love me. I don't like going out. My behavior has become erratic and clumsy. Well, I don't go out much, and I don't interact with anyone unless it's absolutely necessary. People whisper that I seem crazy and look at me badly. Sometimes I feel like I'm in limbo, numb. It's horrible, I know, but I honestly don't feel anything. I don't even care what they think of me anymore. No emotions, nothing. Again, I apologize for the long text. I honestly have no idea why I wrote this. I think I just answered the question I asked in the header. I'm completely broken. Regardless, I'm going to post the text. I have no idea why I'm going to post this text, maybe I want to vent after all this time without talking to anyone. I don't know. I honestly don't know.

I don't know what to do:

I won't hit you with a diagnosis that has been given because I am not sure if it is correct. I want to hear some impressions. Ask anything. I am in a relationship with a guy. We have been together for four years, living together for two. The issues start at the end of August, the crest is in December and slowly improves, and we are back to normal in spring. Throughout the year, there is depression, anxiety around strangers, low self-esteem, some mood regulation issues, and some passive-aggressive anger issues. Generally, it is mild. He is on medication and has a good therapist, but the psych doc may be lacking.

The big problem:

In the fall and early winter is when hell consistently breaks lose. It starts with general sadness and not wanting to do things. It slowly progresses between sadness and anger until it hits its first crest.

Usually it starts showing when start withdrawing and pull away from everything. Then sadness and depression begin to kick in. Then, I started getting passive-aggressive complaints that I could not do anything right. Or I did something wrong or out of line. Trying to talk about it gets me blamed for all the problems in the relationship. Specifically, he is second place among all my other priorities. Then, he goes silent and completely withdrawn, which is when the bomb goes off. The last time was asking what he wants for dinner. The year before, it was a vacation where I was not paying enough attention or pressuring him to get out and enjoy the trip; the year before, something else sparked it. A tiny spark leads to a big fight.

The end reaction is always the same. I get blamed for all the problems. I am a terrible boyfriend; I am abandoning him. One year, I said in the argument, "they create their own pain." He stormed away and said we were done. One time, I got so upset after they stormed off that I just left to see some friends. I got a text that they were leaving, that I did not care, and they were a low priority. That I abandoned him. The night before, they snapped at me because I saw they were mad and thought I had done something wrong. They snapped at me that they were not angry at me and I made everything about me. They stormed off and laid in their room all night.

So, I tried talking with them about it the next day. They showed irritation on their face. They said they could not express their anger freely and had to bottle it up. They tried to talk to me by coming out of the room, but I was in another room, and they didn't go into my space (they do come to the door and say hi all the time). He said I should have gotten up to talk. I said I don't do hints, and they walked away. He needed to come get me when he wanted to speak because I did not want to get yelled at again. They also hurt my feelings because they lashed out at me, not around me. After I said my peace, they sat there staring.

I got up to make dinner; he then went into the bedroom and closed the door. I just left to see some friends because I was so angry. I abandoned them, which I swore I would never do (I never said I would not walk away for a bit to calm down). I said I was mad, and they responded that I was making this all about them. I was sorry for leaving. Let's talk about what is happening. I drove home and found they were gone. After texting and apologizing, they came home; he had been crying, and we hugged and cuddled.

Last year, I got so fed up with the trip that I left without him to explore alone. He called, begging me to come back. One year, he dumped me because my divorce was not happening fast enough. I figured it was over, so I was sad but did not call. He texted and called and wanted to meet to get back together. Usually, it takes a few days, but he comes back. He will say how amazing I am and how happy they are for the rest of the year. But come October, the fight happens, he walks out, and then we make up. Then it is a month and a half of depression, but it is stable, and then full recovery by March.

He has never apologized for any of these incidents. He also gets visibly angry if I try to talk about them afterward. Couples therapy was a struggle, and I am asking to join his counseling so we can figure this out. I know that what is happening is being communicated.

I have mild autism, depression, and anxiety. I can be hard to handle but am stablish under meds. We both have very high sex drives. I have high empathy, and he does not. Or at least not my depth. We both see separate therapists and psychiatrists, and I do not pry into his therapy. He comes from a physically and emotionally abusive family. From the stories, there is a lot of narcissism, depression, and no healthy sharing of emotions. I believe his anger and lashing out is his way of expressing sadness and despair. He has never been taught healthy ways to accept criticism and emotion. One parent is a narcissist and has had a revolving door of partners. He has gone NC with most of his family and toxic friends. I am glad this is the case, but I never asked him to do it.

How should I handle this when it happens? I love him, and he makes me so happy.

My therapist and my dad demiss what I said in therapy today and now I don’t feel safe at all

Is it a concern I’m told in demissive way no one is gonna help you, no one is gonna be there 24 hrs a day , you aren’t allowed to see a therapist every week by dad and therapist I should just give up on therapy no understands me my Dad told me no one is gonna help you , you aren’t allowed to to see a therapist every week due to health care issues, I’m busy hang up the phone , yelling at me I’m told No one is gonna be there for you , you need to learn how to self sooth I’m told all this in therapy today and I thought it was safe place to tell her I’m always dismissed and when I say I feel isolated they don’t care since I had trauma from losing friends in the past from opening up about social anxiety I’m just gonna give up on therapy

I’m told repeatedly you aren’t allowed to do whatever you want as adult and no one will help you , I try to talk about trauma from losing friends in the past and my therapist brushes it off my saying you need to learn how to self soothe or gets mad when I talk about my feelings

My mental health is real and now I don’t want to treat my social anxiety anymore or go to therapy anymore I can’t stick up for myself

I don’t feel safe seeing a therapist anymore

If I say I’m lonely or feel isolated I get yelled at

Finally got to have a session with a psychotherapist today... I revealed some of what I'm going through... he told me that I'm stronger than what I think. I take other people's burdens and carry their weight, so that I can deflect from dealing with mine. I keep too much to myself.. I need to start taking care of me... one of the things he asked, was on Nov 11, since it's a day of reflection and remembrance , he asked that I go somewhere quiet, think of my loving parents who passed on, and the the baby I miscarried years ago.. and start grieving them... (long story but I was either made to feel like I should not grieve, or asked to stop when they passed).. I need to start my healing ...grieve , and think of me... I know it will be difficult, I am afraid if I grieve, I'm letting go, and I'll forget ..

I just found out my wife is pregnant and I've been out of work for a few weeks because I've been recovering from a motorcycle accident and my wife's dad is treating me like garbage because I have no money right now, I need someone to talk to...

hey! title :) just want us to share what little things we do in the day that help make our days a little better

this is my happy list:

• petting my cat
• a peaceful drive
• journalling
• drinking water
• eating crunchy vegetables
• mandarins
• listening to music
• doodles
• a good conversation
• running
• walks
• cool weather
• a little nice sweet drink
• writing
• reading
• listening to people talk about things

this year has been hard for me so a guilty pleasure of mine has been whining lol but i try not to indulge into it too much cuz it's a lot of energy into negative stuff. i have to say it is cathartic, especially as someone who struggles to process my emotions! u can add ur guilty pleasure happy things and how that makes u feel too if u want :>

I don’t know how to deal with my emotions. It feels like everyday I bawl my eyes out and get really angry, I feel like it’s effecting my relationship and I don’t want to do anything anymore. I’m getting a psychological evaluation in a couple of weeks so I hope they can help me. My mom says she doesn’t think there’s anything wrong with me other than my pms. I hate that my life is so controlled by my period, It shouldn’t make me suicidal. I also get really upset when my partner can’t hang out with me, but i don’t want to see any of my friends or have anything to do with them. I hate how I act now. I throw fits like a child and hurt myself when i get angry, it’s not okay anymore and i’m sick of it.

i’m scared i’ve gone crazy - here’s my symptoms

• it feels like my brain can’t sense i’m “me” and separate being from everything else

-i do not feel physically here on this earth

• the part that makes me “me” in my mind feels like it’s on the verge of blinking out of existence.

• i feel like my thoughts are coming from all around , not from my brain like they are just there existing with no person thinking them.

• i feel like im just my vision

• i feel like there’s no person in my mind anymore

-when i think it literally freaks me out cause idk where it’s coming from

-feels as if im completely separate from my body

-my face isn’t my face , my body is foreign like i can’t sense where it ends and where it starts

-scared im not gonna logically know anything anymore (who i am , what im doing , where im at)

-in general just alienated from reality , it confuses me like my mind can’t comprehend it.

-when i think about things like getting up and going to get a snack or going to town my mind cant comprehend it , like there’s no one who should be doing it

-being in town feels like i blink out of existence , like i see everything but it’s not really there or it’s just confusing

• wondering why humans do what they do

-everyday human life is foreign

-feel like just some thoughts floating around in time and space

-i feel “one” with everything around me like i am not separate

• there is no me anymore , i simply don’t exist.

(logically i know everything about myself -just don’t feel like me )

any advice ? this is 24/7 daily , ive gone nuts i believe.

The last two years have been awful financially. My partner didn’t have a job for a year so we had to use credit cards and shitty loans to make ends meet. They have a job now but all the financial shit is catching up to us. I’ve had to go on sleeping medication just to get a few hours of sleep a night. I am paralyzed by the fear of us losing our house, getting sued, getting our wages garnished. I’ve been a shitty partner because of this and in some desperate avoidance move, I have sugar coated to my partner to protect them from having the same anxiety I have. But I can’t contain anymore so they know and I feel like they are on the verge of leaving and hating me forever. I feel completely broken and numb now. I have no clue what to do or how to even take a step.

Because when I’m tired I really can’t snap out of my mentality of “my day is ruined and I’m tired”

I'm a 25-year-old man. I just woke up from a nightmare, and it’s 4:16 a.m. on November 1st. Growing up, I didn’t have a great childhood and often felt like a slave. I was orphaned when both my parents passed away when I was eight. After that, my uncle took me into his family. At first, things seemed good, but as I grew up, I began to experience a lot of discrimination.

I was responsible for all the household chores, from sweeping floors to doing dishes, and I worked from morning till night. Sometimes, I was even beaten. It was a terrible experience. After I completed my 12th grade, I left my uncle’s home because he constantly told me to leave, so one day, I finally did.

Fast forward to today: I’m doing well in my life, following my dreams, and working hard. I’m happy with where I am now, but a part of me still feels alone. Sometimes, in my dreams, I relive those painful experiences, hearing his harsh words and feeling as though I’m still trapped in that life.

I don’t talk to him anymore, and even hearing his name makes me feel uneasy. Growing up, I had a lot of restrictions, but I’m free now. I’m just struggling with these bad dreams and wondering if I’m overthinking things or if my subconscious mind is bringing it all back up. How can I feel okay? How can I stop these dreams and move on fully?

My girlfriend had a seizure

Im at the hospital with my girlfriend who removed her tonsils earlier today. 2 hours ago she had a seizure, we were at the restroom brushing her teeth and after she stood up and sat down again she fell out of consciousness and her whole body was stiff as a log. Right before the incident she said she felt she would have a seizure but i didn’t ring the alarm for help or anything. I got her on the floor and I shouted for help and the medical staff came. A doctor ran som test and gave her some sugary water intravenously. The clock is now 11:30 pm and she is sound asleep. I am terrified from the incident and for her to have another one. Im also disappointed in myself that i didnt do a better job when it happened. I have no chance at sleeping im to worried and i can’t stop thinking about this. Please help

I am in the midst of a huge life change. 56yo male. After working for 30 years in a job field that I did not like, I have begun the transition to a job field that I actually enjoy and find meaning in. And I moved away from NYC out to a quieter locale, and found a wonderful apartment. I am reconnecting with family, and doing very well in my internship. I have suffered from stomach ailments for the past three years, and believe that they are stress related. Yet amidst all this positivity, my IBS/GERD, etc issues continue to worsen. I am becoming very discouraged by the worsening symptoms and my inability to enjoy my new life direction.

I was wondering if there is a deep trauma in my subconscious (childhood trauma) that is most comfortable being miserable and without agency and that possibly the more I try to move into the light of a healthy life, this part of me is violently revolting and this dynamic is causing my physical symptoms to worsen.

Thoughts?

I am starting to feel myself getting back to the low point I was at before starting therapy and meds for severe depression. How can I know if I actually am spiraling into that hole? Is it something worth mentioning in therapy?

Hello,

I’m currently rather stressed with regard to an issue that feels a little too large for me to handle on my own, and was just curious as to what might be able to help me out in this situation. You see, last year, 2023-2024, I ended up with a remainder of nearly $7k of tuition after my university had already given me some last resort financial aid (in the form of a grant), and well, as you can see, was still unable to pay off my tuition. That being said, it really looks as though despite everything that’s happened since I’ve graduated, I may still have to take out loans. As a NJ located individual, just not sure how to go about this. Obviously, it is in my best interest to take out a low interest loan. However, I don't even know where to start with this, as I’ve never owed tuition past the due date… Very stressful situation as you can see, and as I have to begin making student loan payments soon within the next couple of weeks; I suppose it’d be of great help to me if someone could give me a few pointers on how to deal with this situation asap.

Thank you.

I've always felt like there is something in my life that's missing. I don't feel like myself, I never felt like myself, I don't know if my "selfie" even exists. My family is always putting me down. I don't even understand why, but they always make a big deal out of everything. Maybe I'm mentally ill. Sometimes I don't even know why I said or did things I did, just an impuls I failed to stop, or an action I thought people will like but end up being schooled for it, sometimes punished. Maybe I'm just stupid and stuck in my ways, delusional idiot, slave dreaming myself a king, maybe I don't even worth effort "fixing". Sometimes it gets better, sometimes worse. Panic attacks used to be a regular guest, not so much as by now. Fastened hearnbit, thoughts spiraling out of control, sense of impending doom. I need to find a job already, I'm fucking 22, all people I know already got themselves a job, and I'm, stubborn as always, decided that "I'm gonna become unreal engine programmer while I can". It's been 4 years since I said that to myself. A lot of people I let down with promises I didn't hold. I just need to fucking sit down and fucking put in a bismal 300 hours of work. With studying in university remotely I have all the time in the world until the end of semester. 300 hours is nothing BUT I CAN'T FUCKING DO EVEN THAT. please, please, if anyone went through something similar, if anyone have an advice or a plan, please, share with me

My big question is this: is this normal or should I be concerned or happy for my brain?

Context: I'm 23F I've been on and cycled through multiple medications for PMDD, MDD, Dysthymia, Insomnia, and GAD and have been stable and in a decent place for 2 years after being medicated and in and out of treatment for the past 10 years. A year ago I was assessed as having "high functioning" Autism via my Therapist but I am on a wait list for a formal diagnosis. I've been working on self-acceptance alot and been finding ways to cope with life alot better since this preliminary diagnosis. I've been on several medications for difforent reasons but my current regiment that has worked for me up to this point is a high dose of Zoloft with Mirtazopine(Remeron).

Current situation: Starting this summer though I fell into a depression that I just havnt been able to shake off until a couple weeks ago. I lost my insurance so there was a gap where I couldn't get my medications and have been off of my meds for almost 2 weeks now. Weirdly though I have been so... happy? Previously when I would miss a dose or be bad at getting my meds refilled it would throw me off and mess up my mood. This is the first time I've been off my meds for any reason and felt-- good. Better then I have felt since the spring. My anxiety has increased but it has been manageable during this time.

But it has really shaken me up. I've been told by many doctors that likely I would be medicated for most of my life for my issues and this is the first time in 10 years that I have felt GOOD off my meds. Part of me thinks I must have a brain tumor or something changing my mood so drastically (anxiety) or something wrong to explain this objectively good thing but another part of me is just so happy that this is my reality right now. I didn't know this could be a possibility for me. Maybe my frontal lobe just finished developing or something and my neurons were like "alright let's be chill now guys we good". I have no idea and it worrys me but I want to be happy that im happy! I still am trying to find a new psychiatrist that will take my new insurance so I haven't talked to anyone about this yet.

TLDR: Was on meds for 10 years. Got off them before and felt like shit. Got off them because no insurance right now and feel happy? If anything I feel better then I have in months. Is this normal? Is this something that happens? Should I just embrace this new normal and monitor myself or be concerned at the sudden mood change?