/r/dadjokes
Welcome!
This is a friendly place for those cringe-worthy and (maybe) funny attempts at humour that we call dad jokes. Often (but not always) a verbal or visual pun, if it elicited a snort or face palm then our community is ready to groan along with you.
To be clear, dad status is not a requirement. We're all different and excellent. Some people are born with lame jokes in their heart and so here, everyone is a dad. Some dads are wholesome, some are not.
It's about how the joke is delivered.
Hello and welcome to r/dadjokes!
Only self-posts are allowed. However, you may still link to images within the self-post if the image is relevant.
A couple of suggestions to follow:
Leave the punchline out of the title!
Preferred to be a joke an actual father said, but not required.
Tag [NSFW] or [NSFL] if ever necessary.
Remember to edit out any personal information that could lead to identifying people in real life. This includes, but is not limited to, phone numbers, email addresses, facebook/twitter/instagram screenshots.
Other places to laugh at:
- /r/jokes
- /r/cleanjokes
- /r/MommaJokes
- /r/ShortCleanFunny
- /r/gatekeeping
- /r/shittyaskscience
- /r/badjokes
- /r/3amjokes
Subs for dads:
/r/dadjokes
12,033,272 Subscribers
What do you call two people who like the same food?
Taste buds
23:50 UTC
My friend is great at racket sports
He squashes his opponents.
23:49 UTC
An old man falls into a well
Because he couldn't see that well.
23:30 UTC
I hear that glass coffins are becoming quite popular.
Well. Remains to be seen.
23:20 UTC
A buddy of mine was born with no shins…
His name is Tony.
22:57 UTC
NOT TRYING TO OFFEND ANYONE..What do you call a man with no arms and legs trying to water Ski?
SKIP
22:52 UTC
How did Johnny Cash recommend you eat an elephant?
🎶One piece at a time🎶
22:40 UTC
I used to be addicted to ladders.
But now I'm on a 12-step program to get over it.
22:31 UTC
I weigh 175 with my glasses on.
I have no idea how much I weigh with my glasses off.
21:09 UTC
Did you hear about a Chinese fugitive on the loose?
FBI is looking for Lei Loh
20:51 UTC
Where do young benders go to hone their skills?
They go to elementary school.
20:29 UTC
I went to my professors funeral, stood next to the casket and said:
"So, who's thinking outside of the box now, Professor Miller?"
20:16 UTC
What happened to the lady who backed into a lawnmower?
Disaster!
(This joke literally told to me by my dad just now)
19:15 UTC
A guy with two heads goes into a bar
Both heads order drinks. The bartender says, "That'll be ten dollars." One of the heads turns to the other and says, "Hey, let's split the tab."
18:53 UTC
What do you call two monkeys that share an Amazon account?
Prime mates.
18:39 UTC
When I was a child, I dealt with dyslexia.
I wrote about it in my dairy.
18:21 UTC
Going to my job interview at the airport I wasn’t qualified for I bought a Red Bull
Figured be Best if I just wing it.
18:17 UTC
My dad used to make fun of Special Ed kids when he was young. And now his only child ended up with dyslexia.
What goes around comes around.
It's called caramel
17:59 UTC
what do you call dropping an apple in fondue
mac and cheese
17:51 UTC
You know what I slammed at literature class today?
Poetry
17:21 UTC
Why did the dad try and up his game on the grill
He wanted to raise the (bar)becue
17:18 UTC
Sex is a misdemeanor
The more I miss, the meaner I get.
17:00 UTC
What did the dog say the night of Christmas eve?
ROOF ROOF ROOF!!!!
16:42 UTC
What do you call a cow with no legs?
A COW! It's udder nonsense to think someone is going to be able to carry that cow to the butcher.
16:34 UTC
My psychiatrist warned me about visiting Best Buy…
Because he thinks I might end up with 80 HD… TVs
16:11 UTC
What did the elm tree say to dead pine?
Resin peace.
16:03 UTC
Why did the student eat his homework?
Because the teacher told him it was a piece of cake!
15:17 UTC
What do you call a teacher who never farts in public?
A private tutor
15:16 UTC
My visa is cancelled.
I guess I ll start using American Express now
15:13 UTC
Heard about the new Ford Mute?
It goes without saying.
14:50 UTC