/r/oneliners

Photograph via //r/oneliners

Post your favorite oneliners!

Rules

Rule 1: Posts must be oneliners.

Generally a oneliner is a joke that is written in one sentence. If your post does not meet this requirement, it will be removed.

Rule 2: No recent reposts.

Try and keep reposts to a minimum. Use the search function to see if your oneliner has been posted recently (in the last 6 months) to avoid reposts.

Rule 3: General Reddiquette must be followed.

Your post/comment may be removed if it violates general reddiquette. Read about it here.

Rule 4: Moderators Discretion.

The moderators reserve the right to remove content deemed inappropriate for the subreddit.

Friends of Oneliners

/r/oneliners

172,886 Subscribers

0

I prefer women with curves. There's just something about a flat bottom that doesn't uphill to me.

0 Comments
2024/04/29
10:04 UTC

2

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0 Comments
2024/04/29
09:57 UTC

45

People who don't know the difference between entomology and etymology bug me more than words can say

4 Comments
2024/04/28
15:24 UTC

3

There's a little bit of Homer Simpson in everyone - especially Marge.

1 Comment
2024/04/28
08:50 UTC

0

I keep looking at my paycheck and trying to figure out when the government worked those forty hours with me

0 Comments
2024/04/28
05:51 UTC

73

Some people don’t like Roman numerals, but I for one…

7 Comments
2024/04/27
20:47 UTC

2

I know that alcohol is my biggest enemy, but only a cowards run away from a fight

0 Comments
2024/04/27
20:16 UTC

151

What has four letters, always has six letters and never has five letters

70 Comments
2024/04/27
14:02 UTC

3

I saw a sign at the methadone clinic that said “keep off the rocks”

0 Comments
2024/04/27
04:12 UTC

3

Strawberry chapstick is the balm 💣

0 Comments
2024/04/27
03:34 UTC

24

I'd give my right arm to be ambidextrous.

6 Comments
2024/04/26
21:59 UTC

30

The self-deprecation society is taking applications for new members, so i've already put myself down.

5 Comments
2024/04/26
16:36 UTC

3

She has looks that kill, and she cooks the same way.

0 Comments
2024/04/25
21:36 UTC

83

Do the people paying $300 for a colon cleanse know about the Taco Bell option for $4.99?

17 Comments
2024/04/25
19:47 UTC

11

The scientist made a mind-controlled air freshener that really makes scents if you think about it.

0 Comments
2024/04/25
13:42 UTC

5

Yo momma's so wise, she could start a consulting firm for Magic 8 Balls.

1 Comment
2024/04/25
12:42 UTC

69

Your mom is so slow, it took her 9 months to make a joke.

10 Comments
2024/04/24
23:38 UTC

7

Any weekend is a long weekend if you have no friends.

2 Comments
2024/04/24
12:59 UTC

23

R Kelly's autobiography is a touching story

1 Comment
2024/04/22
18:44 UTC

0

*on tinder* Hey I’m an archaeologist too! Ya dig?

0 Comments
2024/04/22
18:42 UTC

9

My mother lost her seamstress job about the same time she hit menopause. HR told her it was because she could no longer mend straight.

7 Comments
2024/04/22
15:22 UTC

6

A dog teaches fidelity, perseverance, and to turn around 3 times before lying down

0 Comments
2024/04/21
21:48 UTC

0

Dubai is the best place to get a buzz cut.

1 Comment
2024/04/21
21:08 UTC

18

All of Yankovic's music was Al generated.

5 Comments
2024/04/21
19:50 UTC

13

I wonder if they ever have strikes at the stress-ball factory?  

1 Comment
2024/04/21
13:56 UTC

26

Sad to report, but even my relationship with whiskey is on the rocks.

1 Comment
2024/04/21
12:04 UTC

3

Apparently the only time republicans want to give money to Ukrainians is when they are gonna get married to them.

1 Comment
2024/04/21
01:54 UTC

0

The news was interviewing people claiming that they were quitting sex, first off didn’t know you could do that and does masterbating count as collecting unemployment?

2 Comments
2024/04/20
23:56 UTC

4

Zoo’s are basically The Truman Show for animals except we got cheap when it came to the plumbing.

0 Comments
2024/04/20
23:05 UTC

19

The fact that I like mammals with trunks is irrelephant

5 Comments
2024/04/19
21:16 UTC

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