/r/oneliners

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Post your favorite oneliners!

Rules

Rule 1: Posts must be oneliners.

Generally a oneliner is a joke that is written in one sentence. If your post does not meet this requirement, it will be removed.

Rule 2: No recent reposts.

Try and keep reposts to a minimum. Use the search function to see if your oneliner has been posted recently (in the last 6 months) to avoid reposts.

Rule 3: General Reddiquette must be followed.

Your post/comment may be removed if it violates general reddiquette. Read about it here.

Rule 4: Moderators Discretion.

The moderators reserve the right to remove content deemed inappropriate for the subreddit.

Friends of Oneliners

/r/oneliners

175,744 Subscribers

58

Elevators are an uplifting experience, but sometimes they're also a letdown. There are steps you can take to avoid this.

8 Comments
2024/07/26
22:31 UTC
0

Having been raised on the streets (Streets of Sesame)my cooking skills are strictly cookie-based

0 Comments
2024/07/26
18:57 UTC
10

The Olympic opening ceremony is inSeine

0 Comments
2024/07/26
18:26 UTC
8

The primary cause of homosectional behavior is sexy furniture.

1 Comment
2024/07/26
14:43 UTC
0

Joe bye then

0 Comments
2024/07/26
11:49 UTC
0

I love space hamburgers more than earth hamburgers. They're meteor.

2 Comments
2024/07/26
06:09 UTC
18

I’ll say it again, never repeat yourself.

0 Comments
2024/07/25
17:59 UTC
18

JD Vance’s nickname is La Z Boy because he makes the couch do all the work.

2 Comments
2024/07/25
15:49 UTC
2

Does Dwayne Johnson just play ‘paper- scissors’ ?

3 Comments
2024/07/25
09:42 UTC
11

Being gay in America is like winning the lottery: your friends are stoked for you, but you don't want your family to find out.

0 Comments
2024/07/25
01:17 UTC
46

Why are they called “elevators” when that’s only half of their job?

11 Comments
2024/07/24
22:56 UTC
9

I saw an ad for burial plots and thought to myself, "That's the last thing I need."

0 Comments
2024/07/24
21:56 UTC
8

I have two golf shirts which is good because I got a hole in one.

1 Comment
2024/07/24
21:19 UTC
0

If I Don't Down Vote Your Post Or Comment, Does That Count As An Upvote..!?

1 Comment
2024/07/24
20:00 UTC
114

I don't care where the states are located, if Oklahoma was next to Maine, that would be OK by ME.

5 Comments
2024/07/24
15:46 UTC
11

I bet goth people have to get to the airport 3 hours early so they have time to take off their shoes.

1 Comment
2024/07/24
14:59 UTC
28

I want to be cremated as it is my last hope for a smoking hot body.

5 Comments
2024/07/24
13:27 UTC
8

Imagine the self control required to work at a bubble wrap factory.

2 Comments
2024/07/24
09:37 UTC
0

Snoop Dog is a dope for not inventing a cocktail called Gin and Chronic

0 Comments
2024/07/24
04:03 UTC
0

Republicans have become so racist that now JD Vance is claiming he only married his Indian wife to satisfy his dicks DEI requirement

11 Comments
2024/07/24
03:27 UTC
0

Kamala Harris, she is what she is if she is who she thinks she is or is she?

1 Comment
2024/07/23
22:11 UTC
0

I asked my doctor if I have dyslexia, so I was shocked when his email said I have sex daily

0 Comments
2024/07/23
20:16 UTC
0

Fucked up is like trying to figure out plan B of an already crazy idea

0 Comments
2024/07/23
13:07 UTC
2

Before she became a rap star, Cardi B was called a twerk in progress.

2 Comments
2024/07/23
12:14 UTC
56

Last year I had a great joke about inflation, but it's hardly worth it now.

2 Comments
2024/07/23
09:04 UTC
0

i farted my pants

2 Comments
2024/07/23
00:54 UTC
7

I swore I wasn't going to have anal sex butt fuck it

1 Comment
2024/07/22
22:01 UTC
34

Bought the wrong dairy alternative but trying not to cry over spelt milk

6 Comments
2024/07/22
20:02 UTC
1

I suppose Joe was “biden” off more than he could chew

1 Comment
2024/07/22
19:01 UTC
13

I don’t know what your problem is, but I’ll bet it’s hard to pronounce.

6 Comments
2024/07/22
14:40 UTC
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