/r/oneliners

Photograph via //r/oneliners

Post your favorite oneliners!

Rules

Rule 1: Posts must be oneliners.

Generally oneliner is a joke that is written in one sentence. Some jokes that are written in two sentences are allowed as long as the second sentence is a short punchline. If your post does not meet this requirement, it will be removed.

Rule 2: No recent reposts.

Try and keep reposts to a minimum. Use the search function to see if your oneliner has been posted recently (in the last 6 months) to avoid reposts.

Rule 3: General Reddiquette must be followed.

Your post/comment may be removed if it violates general reddiquette. Read about it here.

Rule 4: Moderators Discretion.

The moderators reserve the right to remove content deemed inappropriate for the subreddit.

Friends of Oneliners

/r/oneliners

158,366 Subscribers

2

Two girls in a small Dutch village are riding their bikes home from school. One girl says, “I’ve never come this way before.” The other says, “It’s the cobblestones.”

0 Comments
2023/02/01
05:19 UTC

1

Doctors recommend not drinking during pregnancy, but at that point it's already too late.

0 Comments
2023/02/01
04:24 UTC

2

Eating legumes is nuts.

2 Comments
2023/01/31
23:34 UTC

3

This joke makes no sense.

1 Comment
2023/01/31
22:42 UTC

32

A backward poet writes inverse.

2 Comments
2023/01/31
20:42 UTC

24

Hey Math, grow up and solve your own problems!

0 Comments
2023/01/31
16:37 UTC

3

My mechanic told me I had to stop having sex on the hood of my car, apparently it was making it hard for him to change my fan belt.

2 Comments
2023/01/31
12:04 UTC

150

Geology rocks, but geography is where it is at.

5 Comments
2023/01/31
09:18 UTC

92

Just recently joined a fisting club. Not something I'm particularly into, I'm just trying to widen the circle of my friends.

10 Comments
2023/01/31
05:55 UTC

0

You got money problems, guess you have to FIGURE it out.

0 Comments
2023/01/31
05:55 UTC

34

Whoever coined the term ‘delivery’ for childbirth made a big mistake. It should have been called takeout instead.

3 Comments
2023/01/31
05:54 UTC

0

Being an Epileptic myself this joke and other Epilepsy jokes crack me up. An attractive mother with epilepsy is called a Milf-Shake!

2 Comments
2023/01/31
05:52 UTC

0

"I recently did a really tasteless joke at at an Alopecia Convention. Fortunately, it did not raise any eyebrows."

0 Comments
2023/01/31
05:50 UTC

7

I struggle with Roman Numerals until I get to 159. Then it just CLIX!

0 Comments
2023/01/31
05:48 UTC

23

I forgot today was World Alzheimers Day

2 Comments
2023/01/31
04:28 UTC

4

I often wonder the percentage of men who become Buddhist because they’re balding.

0 Comments
2023/01/31
03:23 UTC

0

I am lonely AMA.

0 Comments
2023/01/31
03:19 UTC

1

Someone should've given China a five-star in the start of 2020.

0 Comments
2023/01/31
03:18 UTC

105

When a clock is hungry it goes back four seconds.

6 Comments
2023/01/31
00:32 UTC

38

I did a review of haemorrhoid creams, I found them good on the whole.

4 Comments
2023/01/30
21:51 UTC

161

I just flew in, and boy are my arms tired, from all the masturbating I did on the plane.

25 Comments
2023/01/30
19:52 UTC

2

A prisoner walks into a bar

0 Comments
2023/01/30
19:08 UTC

254

Shout out to all the people who are hard of hearing.

13 Comments
2023/01/30
17:47 UTC

2

I never live by strict guidelines.

0 Comments
2023/01/30
15:01 UTC

7

When I was a kid, me and my deceased brother would fight over the ouiga board all the time.

0 Comments
2023/01/30
13:15 UTC

2

I'm always relieved when someone delivers a eulogy, and I realise I'm listening to it.

11 Comments
2023/01/30
08:46 UTC

317

I put ketchup on the shopping list and now I can’t read any of it.

6 Comments
2023/01/30
04:31 UTC

37

My dad had schizophrenia, but he’s good people.

2 Comments
2023/01/30
02:09 UTC

2

I identify as male, I prefer USPS

0 Comments
2023/01/30
00:39 UTC

0

A man who can control his lust is unstoppable.

3 Comments
2023/01/29
18:54 UTC

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