/r/oneliners

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Post your favorite oneliners!

Rules

Rule 1: Posts must be oneliners.

Generally a oneliner is a joke that is written in one sentence. If your post does not meet this requirement, it will be removed.

Rule 2: No recent reposts.

Try and keep reposts to a minimum. Use the search function to see if your oneliner has been posted recently (in the last 6 months) to avoid reposts.

Rule 3: General Reddiquette must be followed.

Your post/comment may be removed if it violates general reddiquette. Read about it here.

Rule 4: Moderators Discretion.

The moderators reserve the right to remove content deemed inappropriate for the subreddit.

Friends of Oneliners

/r/oneliners

168,242 Subscribers

3

She gazed up at him and bit her lip seductively, unfortunately it was her top lip so she looked like a piranha.

0 Comments
2023/09/25
01:52 UTC
0

I like porn, its a minor obsession

5 Comments
2023/09/24
19:06 UTC
4

I always wanted to be a sky writer, but it turns out I’m pretty good at other words, too.

2 Comments
2023/09/24
16:54 UTC
6

Do tennis players know if they hit the ball a little gentler their friend could hit it back and they could play longer.

1 Comment
2023/09/24
02:23 UTC
7

Would you call a lazy kangaroo a pouch potato?

1 Comment
2023/09/23
21:01 UTC
1

I used to miss my wife so much before she passed away.

4 Comments
2023/09/23
19:41 UTC
52

I spotted an albino Dalmatian today, which was the least I could do.

4 Comments
2023/09/23
17:15 UTC
0

ADHD was forced to live with OCD and everything had to be perfect, but not for very long.

0 Comments
2023/09/23
12:44 UTC
11

I’ll never date a psychic again — at least that’s what my ex says.

2 Comments
2023/09/23
04:00 UTC
0

Competitive eaters should have no problem taking on a ton of pho. It's really light.

2 Comments
2023/09/22
19:41 UTC
0

batman is just a rich guy with insomnia.

2 Comments
2023/09/22
15:22 UTC
0

I think I remember someone telling me that dementia ran in my family, but I don’t remember

4 Comments
2023/09/22
12:33 UTC
16

The silver lining of nihilism is that it still doesn't matter.

1 Comment
2023/09/22
04:09 UTC
14

Love means nothing in tennis.

1 Comment
2023/09/22
02:05 UTC
2

Jesus crossdressed but just that one time.

5 Comments
2023/09/21
19:47 UTC
0

I don’t know why owls find me so attractive.

8 Comments
2023/09/21
14:23 UTC
13

My business is folding, you can find my origami shop at the end of the high street

2 Comments
2023/09/20
21:48 UTC
60

The person who coined the phrase “One Hit Wonder” never came up with another catchphrase

3 Comments
2023/09/20
08:58 UTC
0

I tried to become a coin collector, but I didn't have the cash.

4 Comments
2023/09/19
22:42 UTC
2

I tried to become a coin collector, but I didn't have the cash.

1 Comment
2023/09/19
22:42 UTC
2

I tried to get a job as a podiatrist, but I couldn't get a foot in the door.

0 Comments
2023/09/19
20:12 UTC
15

I'm dating a mermaid I met online

6 Comments
2023/09/19
20:11 UTC
6

You know you are old when you cant enjoy your Alpha-Bits without readers

0 Comments
2023/09/19
20:05 UTC
4

my doctor told me "good news- old age doesn't last long" and i'm not sure how i feel about that

0 Comments
2023/09/19
19:54 UTC
0

i may be old but at least all my facebook friends are pharmacists and doctors

0 Comments
2023/09/19
19:33 UTC
0

when people die of old age, how young are they?

5 Comments
2023/09/19
19:26 UTC
1

you know you are old when you avoid green bananas

0 Comments
2023/09/19
19:24 UTC
1

i hear Kirk Cousins loves his Tesla because there's no clutch

0 Comments
2023/09/19
19:12 UTC
10

I've struggled with alcoholism my whole life, but now I'm getting the hang of it.

1 Comment
2023/09/19
18:53 UTC
13

I hate being bipolar, it’s awesome!

1 Comment
2023/09/19
14:43 UTC
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