/r/oneliners

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Post your favorite oneliners!

Rules

Rule 1: Posts must be oneliners.

Generally a oneliner is a joke that is written in one sentence. If your post does not meet this requirement, it will be removed.

Rule 2: No recent reposts.

Try and keep reposts to a minimum. Use the search function to see if your oneliner has been posted recently (in the last 6 months) to avoid reposts.

Rule 3: General Reddiquette must be followed.

Your post/comment may be removed if it violates general reddiquette. Read about it here.

Rule 4: Moderators Discretion.

The moderators reserve the right to remove content deemed inappropriate for the subreddit.

Friends of Oneliners

/r/oneliners

175,334 Subscribers

2

Making menudo takes a lot of guts.

0 Comments
2024/07/22
02:01 UTC
10

Of course Biden knew when to pull out - he's Catholic!

2 Comments
2024/07/21
22:55 UTC
3

You may feel like you’re disappointing your family but imagine being an anteater who doesn’t care for ants

0 Comments
2024/07/21
22:49 UTC
0

Don't bother calling the suicide hotline because no one can help there...

0 Comments
2024/07/21
22:27 UTC
5

Remember, always identify who to blame in an emergency.

0 Comments
2024/07/21
19:45 UTC
0

Cannis cannot open a can at the canteen at Cannes and Cancun.

0 Comments
2024/07/21
14:17 UTC
162

Don't bother calling the Tinnitus helpline, it just keeps ringing.

9 Comments
2024/07/21
12:13 UTC
3

You can get into hot water by skating on thin ice

2 Comments
2024/07/21
05:25 UTC
5

This is a one liner.

5 Comments
2024/07/21
02:56 UTC
0

a fat man at nudist colony said "I have nothing to hide." I said, I wish you did!

2 Comments
2024/07/20
23:39 UTC
42

Walmart paying the minimum wage is like Leonardo DiCaprio choosing a girlfriend: they'd go lower if it was legal.

3 Comments
2024/07/20
20:59 UTC
8

You don't pay an anesthesiologist to put you to sleep rather you paying anesthesiologist to wake you up...

3 Comments
2024/07/20
07:21 UTC
15

I thimk soneome switched ny N amd M keys.

9 Comments
2024/07/20
05:51 UTC
0

If it's Yellow let it mellow. If it's brown flush it down.

8 Comments
2024/07/19
21:05 UTC
0

I am very proud of my 6-pack abs, prob is they are covered by my 10-pack of fat..

2 Comments
2024/07/19
19:33 UTC
5

I have an idea for an app that conveniently helps you find the nearest Asian massage parlor, I call it "Comes in Handy."

5 Comments
2024/07/19
19:13 UTC
0

She said “come to bed”, I can’t come to the bed if it don’t got no tits!

0 Comments
2024/07/19
17:42 UTC
1

Even the strongest human minds have the consistency of jello

0 Comments
2024/07/19
17:40 UTC
0

Anyone here grow up Christian? (Pause for applause) I’m so sorry.

0 Comments
2024/07/19
17:36 UTC
50

I'd have sworn a sausage just flew past my window, but it was actually just a seabird, and I've taken a tern for the wurst.

8 Comments
2024/07/19
14:47 UTC
17

A colleague asked for a double entendre, so I gave him one.

6 Comments
2024/07/19
10:03 UTC
0

Burpees are like herpes, nobody likes them

0 Comments
2024/07/19
04:36 UTC
63

Most people think a gynecologist and a urologist do the same thing, but if you think about it... there's a vas deferens...

8 Comments
2024/07/19
03:30 UTC
1

I wish all the class clowns in high school shared a tiny car that they would all shuffle out of.

1 Comment
2024/07/18
17:08 UTC
17

To whoever stole my watch tower, lookout!

0 Comments
2024/07/18
14:28 UTC
12

I think I am, therefore I might be?

6 Comments
2024/07/18
05:40 UTC
5

All Space-X’s live in Texas

2 Comments
2024/07/18
05:13 UTC
5

Imagine being a courier back in the day when there was only clay tablets...

0 Comments
2024/07/17
20:38 UTC
50

I'm proud to say that I have the perfect body, but it's in my basement and it's starting to stink

3 Comments
2024/07/17
17:08 UTC
8

I'm not arguing, I'm just explaining why I'm right!

0 Comments
2024/07/17
15:17 UTC
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