/r/oneliners

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Post your favorite oneliners!

Rules

Rule 1: Posts must be oneliners.

Generally a oneliner is a joke that is written in one sentence. If your post does not meet this requirement, it will be removed.

Rule 2: No recent reposts.

Try and keep reposts to a minimum. Use the search function to see if your oneliner has been posted recently (in the last 6 months) to avoid reposts.

Rule 3: General Reddiquette must be followed.

Your post/comment may be removed if it violates general reddiquette. Read about it here.

Rule 4: Moderators Discretion.

The moderators reserve the right to remove content deemed inappropriate for the subreddit.

Friends of Oneliners

/r/oneliners

182,307 Subscribers

0

The main reason France lost against Prussia, was the similarities between the words 'bayonet' and 'baguette'.

1 Comment
2024/11/06
13:23 UTC
18

If you arrest a mime, do you have to tell him he has the right to remain silent?

4 Comments
2024/11/06
12:04 UTC
6

Among the things that are so simple even a child can operate them are parents.

0 Comments
2024/11/06
11:48 UTC
99

I got confused by all the yard signs and I think I may have voted for a realtor.

6 Comments
2024/11/06
06:18 UTC
20

It's hard to come up with a joke about a vampire that doesn't suck.

3 Comments
2024/11/06
01:24 UTC
39

I'm reading a book about an immortal dog, it's impossible to put down.

3 Comments
2024/11/06
00:25 UTC
24

My superiority complex is better than yours

7 Comments
2024/11/05
19:47 UTC
0

I could have swore they said erection day...

2 Comments
2024/11/05
17:38 UTC
0

If you're preferred political party is telling you they want to be transparent they're definitely hiding something.

2 Comments
2024/11/05
17:34 UTC
36

I'm reading a book on anti-gravity; it's impossible to put down!

8 Comments
2024/11/05
13:47 UTC
4

Floor may be wet, sorry for the incontinence.

0 Comments
2024/11/05
13:23 UTC
5

Tweet others how you want to be tweeted

4 Comments
2024/11/05
08:59 UTC
11

With no power comes no responsibility.

1 Comment
2024/11/05
05:28 UTC
18

My wallet is like an onion—opening it makes me cry.

1 Comment
2024/11/05
02:17 UTC
0

I'm quite content with my vulgarity, fuck you very much.

2 Comments
2024/11/05
00:57 UTC
11

I don’t mean to toot my own horn, but I’ve got a nice trumpet

0 Comments
2024/11/04
22:45 UTC
6

Honey is the tastiest of all insect vomit.

1 Comment
2024/11/04
22:39 UTC
10

I feel bad for the meek because at the rate we’re going the earth is gonna suck to Inherit.

1 Comment
2024/11/04
21:29 UTC
17

My reality check bounced.

0 Comments
2024/11/04
18:35 UTC
5

Society: when I say switch, switch from re-enacting George Orwells 1984, to Van Halen’s

1 Comment
2024/11/04
18:31 UTC
16

My artistic abilities are so bad, I can’t even draw blood with a knife!

1 Comment
2024/11/04
14:13 UTC
49

Being quality control in a mirror factory is a job I could see myself doing.

3 Comments
2024/11/04
13:20 UTC
0

Best you tube channel for learning French

1 Comment
2024/11/04
13:13 UTC
48

I told my wife she was drawing her eyebrows too high—she looked surprised!

6 Comments
2024/11/04
12:17 UTC
11

I’d agree with you, but then we’d both be wrong!

0 Comments
2024/11/04
12:13 UTC
17

I used to be indecisive, but now I’m not so sure.

2 Comments
2024/11/04
12:10 UTC
27

Judgemental people are the worst

3 Comments
2024/11/03
21:02 UTC
16

Please cancel my subscription to your issues.

1 Comment
2024/11/03
20:09 UTC
8

Baseball players shouldn’t commit crimes because they’re very easy to pick out of a lineup

2 Comments
2024/11/03
13:59 UTC
22

Insecurities are just conspiracy theories about yourself.

7 Comments
2024/11/03
05:26 UTC
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