From my own anecdotal experience, most of the straight men I know tend to be pretty homophobic. Women seem to be more accepting. I believe a lot of homophobia from Black men stems from toxic masculinity. They look at a man being sexually attracted to other men as a feminine thing. Which is bullshit because masculinity has nothing to do with sexuality. There are plenty of gay/bi men who aren't feminine. All in all, would you guys says this is generally true in your experience?

Speak Your Mind

Maybe if I were a little friendlier, more in shape, had flawless skin... nah it's black thing. It's hard to accept that as the truth, but now that I'm doing so, I see it as freeing me to do things that I really care about rather than trying to achieve some concept of a more acceptable me.

If you need a few questions to answer:

1. How are you at the moment?

2. Any worries on your mind you need to release into the world?

3. How are you participating in self-care today/this week/this month?

Hey, I’m a 20M international student from a Middle Eastern Indian expat background, studying in the West. Life’s been rough lately, and I’m not doing great mentally. I want to talk to people who might relate.

I'm down bad for white chocolate and I sort hate it low-key. Btw by white chocolate I mean white dudes who dress and talk like black men. I mean it's annoying cus as a black gay kween it leaves a bitter taste in my mouth. How can you run around with the benefits of white privilege and enjoy black artistry?! plus I'm insecure about them being blacker than me which is weird lol. Idk I guess I just want my white dude's vanilla, or I'll pass lol. Maybe I just dislike the blatant shameless cultural exploitation/appropriation.

Pls tell me I'm not weird lol

*Edit some of yall be rude as fuck fr. I have always appreciated my melanin rich kings. Like I'm Somali everyone around was dark skinned. More than half of my childhood crushes where DARK SKINNED BLACK KINGS ughhhhh. I wanted to reflect on the ambivalent sentiments I had towards these "white chocolate" dudes. Some of yall be insecure fr.

Positive vibes and growth for 2025 only! Lead with intention

I've been using Reddit off and on for about 10 years, going through several accounts during that time. I've participated in NSFW threads, hoping to share and feel recognized or validated. However, I've noticed that only certain types of content seem to gain popularity there, which has been discouraging. Reddit is really only interested in Yt bodies and opinions. Even in non-nsfw spaces I'm still unseen.

Fortunately, I've found more inclusive and diverse sex-positive communities on Instagram through my curated feed. While I consider myself reasonably attractive, and my bits are top notch, it's still challenging not to compare myself to others, despite my best efforts to avoid it.

Why does Reddit consistently marginalize non-white "content creators" and perspectives, even when they contribute quality ;-) content? Or perhaps I'm not that interesting.

If you're on reddit as often as I am, you've probably come across a meme, or Xeet about a woman claiming that she doesn't date men under 6 feet, followed up by a punchline that ranges between mildly tongue in cheek to deriding her as a shallow hypocritical bitch.

And it's just so wild to witness from across the aisle the number of straight men melting down every time the topic of height in dating preferences comes up. Gays have a whole laundry list of what they like/don't like in a person. Too hairy, too smooth, too muscular, not enough muscles, too chubby, not chubby enough, too old, too young, too masc, not masc enough. You're the wrong color, you're the wrong ethnicity and yes...you're the wrong height.

It's amazing that anytime preferences come up in gay forums, we're expected to accept that we're not entitled to someone's time, attention or affection. It seems like straight men don't always get this though. If a straight woman expresses a preferences for men above a certain height, she's shallow and she's missing out on a great guy.

To be clear I think it's important for everyone, straight, gay, men, women, to respect someone's dating preferences, even if they are inherently discriminatory. I think it's perfectly possible to discuss how restrictive certain societal beauty standards are, while at the same time, at the individual level, understand that we can't force someone to be attracted to us or date us. It's just weird to me that straight women's height preferences tend to be an exception to this rule.

Is there a list or pinned post listing gay party promoters with events tailored toward poc across the US in cities with large gay poc populations?

I'm trying to figure out events in Atlanta but I see this being useful for other cities like LA, DC, Houston, etc.

If you need a few questions to answer:

1. How are you at the moment?

2. Any worries on your mind you need to release into the world?

3. How are you participating in self-care today/this week/this month?

This question is for fellow black feminine gay men whether you present feminine in your appearance (makeup, hair, etc) or have more of a feminine personality and you're not a top. I'm just going to be real here, as a feminine black gay man who can now say I went through all my 20s never having been in a relationship (I turned 31 back in November), I can day that being black and feminine who is not a top, it has been the kiss of dead when it comes to whether other gay men will want anything to do with you.

Because I don't fit the only acceptable way a black gay men can be seen as attractive or desirable and not wanting to fit that rigid standard, I've been on my own for pretty much the whole time with next to no interest and I'm trying to just get used to the reality that being myself will mean I will be alone forever. And please don't tell me "there are lots of guys into black fem men", that's not true and you know it. "Oh stop going for white guy" , I don't only go for white guys, I've tried asian men and they never are interested and same with Latino men because of my being fem. Other black guys, only DL are interested and I'm over being a secret.

I just want to hear from others in my situation who have gone through this and how toy cope with the loneliness. Does it get easier as you get older? I just need to know and I have no one to talk to about this brutal reality.

Why didnt anyone tell me that dating when you’re gay is complicated as hell because of how the community is. Like your dating life is either one or the other

1. You grew up in a small town with not that many options so you don’t have a dating life till you’re 20’s or 30’s and then finding someone who wants to deal with someone with no experience or is still a virgin gets tricky because some gay guys expect others to lose their virginity in their teen years.

2. You grew up in area with options upon options so you get to have a normal dating life like most straight people.

3. Your life is like a movie and you meet the one gay boy in your school and you date him because he’s the only queer within a 100 mile radius or walking distance or in some cases that one dude who was straight his whole life until he met you.

4. You’ve been hooking up with DL guys since middle or high school and you either continue doing that or you wake up and realize you’re self worth and try to have an actual relationship not based around sex.

5. You were being fast or felt so alone and went on a dating app or website and started hooking up with men way older than you and then just coast through life or looking back at it thinking it was normal.

6. Or if you don’t fit a certain body type or have an unreasonable standard of beauty you’re deemed undesirable which might mess with your self confidence later on and you break your back trying to look a certain type of way.

I’m 33 M South Asian gay male living in a liberal west coast city and have often noticed that a lot of people (usually white) have strong opinions about desi culture.

I’m generally more of “mind my own business”, “no opinions until I’m well informed on something” and “don’t make assumptions about anyone or hold them to stereotypes” of a person and in many conversations, I often feel a power dynamic where I’m always on the receiving end of someone’s comments on my culture. Some examples:

• Sayings things like they’d not visit India because of the stereotypes around poverty, sexual harassment, pollution, etc. (not denying any of these problems but do I have to carry the burden of all these stereotypes? Can replace Indian with the US and cite the same argument with things like abortion, racism, mass shootings, etc.)

• Unnecessary assumptions just because I have a certain skin color / heritage. I was once asked by an old white man if my parents are forcing me to marry a woman in an arranged marriage (Imagine me asking a white person if their family is forcing them to join a local KKK chapter or something)

• Casual comments on the Indian accent (e.g. least favorite accent, why is it funny) or food (e.g can’t handle the flavors bla bla bla)

And while most of social circle is full of people who appreciate the culture, can’t really escape ignorant people once I’m outside my bubble.

I have noticed that I’m starting to build a bit of anger and frustration over this. How do y’all deal with this?

Hey everyone,

I'm a member of a new POC focused queer discord server and we're looking for new members. I believe our server bio gives the best representation of the vibes we are aiming for:

"Welcome to Haven (21+)! A server where queer people of color can be unapologetic about themselves, their queerness and find joy in the company of like-minded people. We welcome you to enjoy a safe Haven, where you can let your hair be natural, you wrists be limp and your references be cultural."

If this sounds appealing to you, please come join us: https://discord.gg/gayhaven

If you need a few questions to answer:

1. How are you at the moment?

2. Any worries on your mind you need to release into the world?

3. How are you participating in self-care today/this week/this month?

Growing up all I heard was about how my dad had to fend off girls with a stick when he was younger and I got to see my sisters get hit on constantly or have guys come up to me to put in a good word for them and anytime I had a crush on a guy it was either he’s DL, he’s Straight ,or “I’m sorry you’re not my type I’d be more into you if you were white.” And if I refused a DL guys advances I’d either get blocked or picked on. And I lost the one best friend I had because I mistakenly told him that I’ve liked him for years after I got my wisdom tooth removed and was still high on anesthesia in high school.

And I get straight people are always going to outnumber gay people but it still sucks especially when you grow up in a town that’s considered a small town. So I never developed any flirting skills ,never been on a date ,never kissed a boy, never held hands yet I have gotten head from two different guys sadly. So I kinda had to teach myself how to be content with never having dating experience like everyone else and that I might end up like my uncle who’s in his 60’s and gay or my Great uncle who was gay but died single in his late 40’s . So now I’m almost 22 and nothing has really changed and I’ve sorta lost interest in finding a boyfriend and mainly because I don’t really see it as a reality anymore and now I’m mainly focused on my job and being a good Uncle I’ve sorta had a glow up but despite all that I just don’t see it happening.

The unthinkable has happened. What happens next? Every dream, every fight, every ancestor… wasted. Democracy dies in darkness, and they voted to shut off the lights. How do we fight? Or do we just lay it down?

Speak Your Mind

Mine is guys burping on command. Unique I know, Idk if anyone would be open to it.

Me and my pals built together three mostly Safe For Work, mixed and inclusive subreddit communities for everything centered on adult women and gender variant people after our totally private and inclusive group chat room grew so big that we had to build a subreddit community.

We currently have more than 1600 member users and more than 195 posts with image descriptions accessible for visually impaired people added to the large collection of diverse content growing with new additions almost daily in our subreddit community called r/GalsAndPals that we built because of popular demand.

r/GalsAndPals is as a mostly Safe For Work and inclusive safe space built for everything centered on adult people who at least partly somehow identify with unconventional womanhood, including top, verse, dominant, switchy, gentlewomanly, girlboss, punky, tomboyish, futchy, butchy, ursine, crossdressing, androgynous, intersex, altersex, transy, transbianish, genderfluid, and genderqueer woman-ish people, but anyone is welcome to post here as long as they are respectful pals to the gals and request mod permission.

We currently also have more than 220 member users and more than 35 posts with image descriptions accessible for visually impaired people added to the large collection of diverse content growing with new additions almost daily in our subreddit community called r/DollsAndPals that we also built because of popular demand.

r/DollsAndPals is as a mostly Safe For Work and inclusive safe space built for everything centered on adult people who at least partly somehow identify with conventional womanhood, including bottom, verse, subby, switchy, housewifey, ladylike, femme, futchy, androgynous, intersex, altersex, transy, transbianish, genderfluid, and genderqueer woman-ish people, but anyone is welcome to post here as long as they are respectful pals to the dolls and request mod permission.

We also currently have more than 360 member users and more than 160 posts with image descriptions accessible for visually impaired people added to the large collection of diverse content growing with new additions almost daily in our subreddit community called r/GuysAndPals that we also built because of popular demand.

r/GuysAndPals is a mostly Safe For Work and inclusive safe space built for everything centered on adult people who at least partly somehow identify with unconventional manhood, including bottom, verse, subby, switchy, malewifey, househusband, twinkish, softboyish, femboyish, ladylike, crossdressing, androgynous, intersex, altersex, transy, transbianish, genderfluid, and genderqueer man-ish people, but anyone is welcome to post here as long as they are respectful pals to the guys and request mod permission.

We do have some basic respect safety expectations as guidelines written in the rules page section of our subreddit communities to help sustain the health of our groups as welcoming, accessible, inclusive, diverse, mixed and shared safer spaces free of judgement and harm that you should read.

We are inclusive of transy, transbianish, transfeminine, transandrogynous, transmasculine, detrans, retrans, genderfluid, and genderqueer people in all three of our subreddit communities.

Anyone is welcome to be in our community subreddits and contribute posting, but ONLY AS LONG AS they are RESPECTFUL WITH EVERYONE AND HAVE already had a sent MOD PERMISSION REQUEST APPROVED, because our subreddits have changed status from being totally private communities to being a somewhat restricted communities.

Our subreddits are only currently temporarily somewhat restricted for being in an experimental early development stage until becoming more accessible, public and welcoming after a time when we are more prepared enough to deal with more diverse types of visitors having access to our place.

If you may be feeling interested in joining, just drop a comment here below or send a moderator mail message to get permission granted to be able to post in one or all of our subreddits or if you want support to create another group.

Also make sure to check out our long, creative, diverse and inclusive lists of silly and cute user flairs and post sections, especially the "Transcribed" and "User Introductions" post sections, to familiarize yourself with examples of how and what content is posted in our communities.

Sharing is caring, because sharing new content like posts and comments in and out of our subreddits is the bare minimum enough to support our spaces living and thriving, so feel free to share our content out there to invite your adult lovers, friends, partners and acquaintances to join our subreddit communities.

The moderation is always open to answering questions and clearing doubts.

No need to be shy as we do not bite.

Speak Your Mind

soo like the title says i am lookin for friends that are more similar to me in terms of personality + lived experiences! i will of course share a bit about myself too, but mostly my intent is to make more friends and be more social.

so hello! i am geovanni, agender transmasculine, i do not use pronouns! i am 22, jamaican + african american, i love art, music and video games! i am a college graduate, i loveee drag + sfx makeup, i am a jester which means i love a good laugh esp over nothing, and i’m an insomniac! my favorite color is blue and i currently am a cashier at an outdoor recreation store 🌳

anybody who wants to be pals can msg me or introduce yourself below so maybe other ppl can also read about you :3