Hi, just have a strange question, but I know you guys are used to the unusual and strange.

I am dating someone who’s a mortician, embalmer, funeral director, funeral home GM for almost 4 years.

Not to make this super long, but over the almost 4 years, he has given me STIs 3 times. Which we have broken up a couple times, had long distance, just a big story with lots of context.

But he takes pREP before he embalms someone who has HIV, AIDs, STDs, etc,

He claims that you can get chlemydia , gonorrhea (which is what I have gotten from him) from dead bodies.

I have done some research and it leans mainly to that’s not true. That the body needs to be alive for those viruses to stay alive. But says that HIV or AIDs can be transferred from a dead body to a living. Chat GPT said the same thing.

If you know any information or clinical studies or anything that could help me out I would really appreciate you. I’m trying to spare myself the pain if something is actually going on and end it now.

Thank you so much for your time.

I know this is a personal subject. Thank you in advance for your perspective.

I am a Dual Licensee in Ohio. Could someone tell me the differences in the process of death certificate creation and permits/paperwork required solely for cremation in both New York and Illinois.

I would like to know in depth the required tasks and process for performing a direct cremation in both of these states in comparison to Ohios process. Thanks!

Hi! My cousin 21M unfortunately passed away 2 days ago and his immediate family are in Mexico. I was wondering how long would it take for him to get shipped to Mexico? I was told 2-3 weeks after a we held a small funeral here in GA. But is there truly not a faster way ? My family wants to send him as quickly as possible so his parents and siblings can see him!

What disease(s) require you to include special care after death? Of course well-known things like Ebola, likely would, but what about other diseases such as cancers or bacterial infections. What, if anything, needs to be done to keep everyone safe as you take care of the deceased? What needs to be considered that most of us wouldn’t even think of? Do medications like chemo ever cause issues? What about tumors themselves?

I attended a family funeral and I wasn't very happy with the way our relative looked... I was feeling sad for his closest relatives to see him not looking how we imagined he would... of course the face looked a bit puffier, fatter, and the ecpression was, well, dead... i would guess that. But what concerned me was there were like lesions (skinless parts) on the top of his head, visible because he was bald. His head itself did not look round, but rather bumpy. I wonder why that was. Can you explain it to me, please? I should say the basic info about his body: He was and elderly person with diabetes and renal failure (dialysed several times a week), he was not overweight, he died at home of a sudden heart attack and was immediately given attention (doctor - coroner - funeral home). In my country they do a basic autopsy whenever you die at home, so that happened, too. The funeral was on the 9th day of him being dead. Thank you in advance for explaining this to me.

Hi all,

My mom passed in 1994 and was buried. From what I remember (I was a small child) her casket was placed in a concrete vault and that was then closed and covered over.

Everyone in my family has passed and I’d really like to leave the area but I feel like I can’t leave without bringing her with me.

It’s not a crazy request to exhume after so long and cremate right? After 30 years is there even anything left? A friend casually mentioned she might still look like herself. Part of me wants to see her one last time but I also don’t want to scare a funeral director by asking them to bring her back up and cremate her if it’s a terrible thing.

I just feel like I make a lot of mistakes at my job. Almost done with the residency but not mistakes apparently. Last week huge body fell out of our van as I took it out because the stretcher wheels didn’t lock and I was already struggling (not very big and strong myself lol) so it fell and I needed three people to help me get it up.

The other day didn’t realize a casket was on stationary holders.. tried pulling it out (thinking church truck with wheels) and it fell on the floor. Got scratched up a bit but only visible up close.. I’m worried someone’s gonna see and I’ll be in trouble since I was involved in a casket falling damaging incident earlier in the year.

Not even listing all my mistakes.. just the recent ones that sting. I feel like my job is getting tired of me and my costly errors.

Ugh can anyone relate? Sorry for the emotional venting :( thanks guys lol

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Just to clarify they know the casket fell: I needed help getting it up again. It’s the scratches I’m worried they’ll see even though my coworker said the casket is fine

My Nan passed away on Monday morning and my family are currently planning her funeral. She’s going to be cremated and I’m not entirely sure what goes on in regard to the whole cremation/ service.

I’ve only ever been to one funeral before which my grandma’s 7 years ago. I was only 12 at the time and don’t remember too much about the whole process. But I remember there were six pallbearers; my dad, my brother, and four of my male cousins. I’ve just got a few questions about what I should expect.

Are pallbearers used for a service with a cremation?

If so, is it expected/ tradition for the pallbearers to be male family members?

Is the service held at a crematorium, church, or is that up to the family?

I know I could just ask my mum about this but I’m on the other side of the country busy with uni exams and her days are obviously busy given the current situation. I’d really appreciate anyone who can answer my questions. Cheers.

I was hoping someone can point me in the right direction. My fiancé (27m) has passed away. I was hoping that I can find someone who could make me a miniature Ghost shell from destiny 2 I can put some of his ashes in? I don’t know what I need to do or who I need to reach out too. Thank you.

Hello, I’m currently a pathologist assistant and have worked as an autopsy tech in the past. I recently was talking with a local mortician after a private autopsy about the areas general work flow, who they typically reach out to for autopsy services, etc., and had the thought after the fact about possibly working on-call or part time for embalming. One of the older PAs I knew also worked on-call/as needed basis for embalming so I thought maybe it’d be something to look into.

After a bit of research, I would need the following: mortuary science associates, complete embalmer internship (at least 3,600 hours), and pass a certification exam. Does that sound correct?

Overall seems like too much work for just a potential small side gig for me to pick up, but I enjoyed learning more about the profession! Appreciate all the good work you all do.

I’ve had this kit for a long time. Posting this for comparison to the other post asking if the tools in the picture are antique embalming tools.

Please note I’m writing about the funeral industry in Canada. It’s my understanding that the industry pays much better in the states.

While Canada Post is on strike (again) I wonder why employees of the funeral industry don’t consider striking as well. Is it because we’re not unionized? The funeral industry is consistently understaffed, it is emotionally and physically taxing, employees have to be on call (unpaid) and work up to 10 consecutive days in a row (days, evenings, weekends, holidays - including Christmas) and I don’t know anyone making over $60k which is especially sad because it requires post secondary education.

People join this industry because google states you can make up to $60k annually but that’s a complete lie to get people in the door.

If anyone else is in the funeral industry I’m curious to hear your thoughts!

hey! I’m a 21 y/o near Knoxville, TN. I’ve been researching this career option for a couple years now.. but I’m having difficulty with what school would be best for me. ANY advice, insight, etc would be very very appreciated.

• I want a program that is mostly online. (I understand some travel will be necessary. Ideally only a few days to a week at a time, sparingly.)

• I am also in my last semester at a community college for a general associates of science. I ideally would want to be able to transfer any credit hours possible to speed up this process.

• I am trying to take out as few student loans as possible. I have 0 debt right now as I’ve been paying my way thru college thus far! So price is definitely an important factor for me.

• I have looked into John-Gupton in Nashville and I’m almost positive I do not want to attend that school for multiple reasons. Looking for other options!!

Hello 65 year old female doing some estate planning. I have decided to get cremated when I die. I don’t want to leave a big expense for my daughter. My question is can you pick your own urn for the crematory? I know it has to be a certain size for your size etc. Thank you.

I don't want pity, just wanted to vent. And it's hard to express my feelings about this because I am used to this my whole life. I understand people in the profession are older and sometimes closed-minded to "new ideals" or however, but it's exhausting even trying to muster up the confidence to correct people. They'll apologize loudly and guilty, or don't make an effort to try. Now being recently promoted, I am too busy now to correct people.

Hello friends! I'm doing some detective work to confirm my suspicion about a certain casket that Batesville sells. Does anyone have a full item casket catalog from 2018 or older? I'd really appreciate it.

Andrew

I just read a post where I feel like the majority of comments were against viewings, stating they were potentially traumatic.When my best friend of many, many years died, there was no service, but there was a viewing. It was massively helpful for me. Getting to see her face, stroke her hair and talk to her (even though it took me about 5 hours to even approach the casket) is something I will always remember.

It wasn't a pretty death, but she looked perfect. Is that just due to the skill of the restorative artist? I didn't get those "uncanny valley" vibes people seemed to be discussing.

Thank you for your time.

Hi guys, I’m back again with another question lol. I have found a few schools that I have been applying to. However, there are two of them that have asked me for a professional photo of myself, and these are also two that are asking for an application fee. The others are free. What I am asking is, is this normal? I don’t want to get scammed, and I have never had to submit a photo of myself for any college application. Google says it isn’t normal but I figured I would get on here and ask people who have been through this process before. Thank you guys so much in advance and for helping me on my last post!!

I know this is geared towards the cemetery aspect, I figured you guys might know.

Is it normal for a headstone to be blurry and smudged looking after installation? We saw it in the shop and it did not look like this. They’re saying it’s because it’s wet.

Hi everyone, my mother is on hospice dying of cancer. I’m only 26 and trying to figure out how to plan a funeral (along with help from my sisters also in their 20s, and my father.) My mom seems to only have a few days left, so we’re trying to get whatever we can in order now. We’re a bit lost on how to do this. I’m wondering what’s normal, what to expect, general advice and things to keep in mind. If anyone could share their experiences, advice or help i’d really appreciate it. We have a funeral home picked out, we know she wants to be cremated but my father wants to have a viewing first. She doesn’t want a church service. My mom’s pretty much unresponsive now, so we can’t get any more input from her, and before this point she’d get too agitated and upset to discuss funeral plans. We have a huge family and my mom was rather popular, so my father is anticipating that a lot of people will want to come to the viewing, and he wants to have two days of viewings and then a service, but my sisters and I think that will be way too much. How does that usually work? Is there a service after the viewing period? Thanks in advance for any help.

Obituaries

I’m looking for my husband Frank T Martinez 12/9/58 he passed away on 11/4/24 in Moreno Valley,Ca that’s the last time my sons and I seen him we have looked everywhere and we can’t find no info on him or we he is at and sorry to say that we can’t get no info from his family so if you can plz find it in your heart to let us know anything you might know of his whereabouts plz let us know we need to know where he is at help us please………

I’m looking for my husband Frank T Martinez 12/9/58 he passed away on 11/4/24 in Moreno Valley,Ca that’s the last time my sons and I seen him we have looked everywhere and we can’t find no info on him or we he is at and sorry to say that we can’t get no info from his family so if you can plz find it in your heart to let us know anything you might know of his whereabouts plz let us know we need to know where he is at help us please………

This question is off the back of my last post regarding the decline of open casket visitations. There were a bunch of comments saying funerals are too expensive and families have been priced out. That being said, how much should funeral homes charge for a full service funeral? This would include a one day wake, meaning the body is embalmed, a funeral mass, and a burial at a local cemetery. Excluding cash advances (grave opening charge/mass offering/death certificates), how much do you think funeral home should be charging?

i've struggled with the idea of what to do after highschool for a long time. i've always wanted a quiet job, i enjoy helping people, and i want a job i can do in more of a rural area. i find funeral service checks all of these boxes. my family also really think i should continue on this path because my mom wanted to do the same thing when she was younger. i'm not doing it for them though, its just the only thing i have been interested in. its not like i have been dreaming of this career my whole life or have done a ton of research on it, i just dont have any other interests. i have been accepted and have a seat saved for me in a college for funeral service already and i've just been thinking about it a lot. is this job hard emotionally? i'm not an emotionally strong person by any means but does this take a toll on your mental state by being around grieving people all the time? am i making the right choice?

If this is not the right place to ask please point me to the correct place. I've already contacted the airlines, but each one gave me a different answer, I'll be flying to China with my mom's ashes and I really just want to know what documents I need.

So my grandpa just passed away. I flew from New York to CA to see him in the hospital in June. Mind you, I’m a military wife so it’s hard to just take an impulse trip. My grandma didn’t let me see him in the hospital because she hates me. She’s always hated me since I was literally a child. She’s pretty much just a narcissistic control freak and if you guys know what I mean I won’t have to go into detail. Fast forward he ended up passing away a few days ago and I never even got to see him in the hospital. I was able to get a flight out to CA and arrange a private visitation, as I won’t have enough time to stay for the funeral. (Mind you I probably wouldn’t be welcome by her anyways) So after I thought everything would be smooth, I’d be able to see my grandpa before he gets cremated and I won’t be a bother at the funeral, I got a call from the funeral home saying my grandma denied my right to the private visitation and as next of kin they can not go against her wishes. Her exact words to my mom were “I didn’t let her see him at the hospital, I’ll be damned if she sees him at the funeral home.” Like she’s literally proud of it. But idk what to do. I’m stressed and can’t stop crying. Is there any way she can be overruled due to circumstances?? We can’t attend the funeral due to the military and I wasn’t even allowed to see him at the hospital when he was alive. I really need advice, thank you in advance

Hey y'all. I have a job interview Monday at a funeral home. They said I'll probably start in transfers and admin as they don't need a new apprentice until the new year. What should I wear? What are some good questions to ask? What was your experience starting out of you didn't start as an apprentice right away? It looks to be a family run home (but could've been bought up) that specializes in green burials, which is why I had them at the top of my list.

Thank you!