Photograph via snooOG

r/petloss is a community of support for Pet owners whose Pets have passed away. This is not a place to post lost Pet stories or any other news about Pets.

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The Rainbow Bridge

Just this side of heaven is a place called Rainbow Bridge.

When an animal dies that has been especially close to someone here, that pet goes to Rainbow Bridge.

There are meadows and hills for all of our special friends so they can run and play together.

There is plenty of food, water and sunshine, and our friends are warm and comfortable.

All the animals who had been ill and old are restored to health and vigour; those who were hurt or maimed are made whole and strong again, just as we remember them in our dreams of days and times gone by.

The animals are happy and content, except for one small thing; they each miss someone very special to them, who had to be left behind.

They all run and play together, but the day comes when one suddenly stops and looks into the distance. His bright eyes are intent;

His eager body quivers. Suddenly he begins to run from the group, flying over the green grass, his legs carrying him faster and faster. You have been spotted, and when you and your special friend finally meet, you cling together in joyous reunion, never to be parted again.

The happy kisses rain upon your face; your hands again caress the beloved head, and you look once more into the trusting eyes of your pet, so long gone from your life but never absent from your heart.

Then you cross Rainbow Bridge together

r/petloss is a community of support for Pet owners whose Pets have passed away. This is not a place to post lost Pet stories or any other news about Pets.

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Only 1 1/2 pt2

apparently i didn’t get it all out so here’s a part 2. go to part one for like like medical stuff.

henny or Hennessy was my ESA. he was bright and mean. he did zoomies everyday till the day he passed. in college he would run up and down my dorm halls fast as he could. he climbed furniture and cat trees and people. he started off hating his barely older sister and by the time he passed they loved each other. He loved playing pool (yes pool as in balls and sticks in a green table).

I got him at 2 weeks old from an acquaintance in college, who had everything wrong about him. he thought Henny was a girl, was the sweetest baby, and named ‘her’ cinnamon roll. Well Hennessy was spicy and mean and male and the biggest challenge i’ve ever had but he and i made it work.

Henny never quite understood what playing and hurting were or what the difference was. but his feather made him the happiest cause he couldn’t hurt it (i mean he destroyed them and i kept replacing)

I’ve been wearing his collar on my wrist since we got back from the vet. and been sleeping with his bed in our room cause it doesn’t seem real yet that he’s passed.

once you get over the initial shock what do you do? people around me keep seeming to try and get me to go back to ‘normal’, but i’m a stay at home pet parent so how do i do normal??

1 Comment
21:42 UTC


I’m broken.

The love of my life,Beesly, died two hours ago at the emergency vet. I don’t know how to be in this world without her. She was my whole world, my baby, my soul dog. She was everything. And I watched her code in the back room of the emergency vet. How do I survive this?

1 Comment
21:37 UTC


Went to the shelter today

It's been almost six weeks since we had to say goodbye to Sawyer. I've posted about him before if you're interested. Every day now is a unique experience in our lives without him. Our other cat Juliet remains our rock and our reason to be happy every day.

Today, the shelter that we adopted them both from was having an open house. We went and stayed for three hours, meeting and playing with the cats, talking to the staff and asking questions about the adoptees, sharing our story with them and why we were there in the first place. We want to adopt, we just need to make sure we are ready to give this new cat the proper amount of attention.

There were several cats that had our attention, namely a tuxedo boy named Eric and a dilute tortie name Tillie (Juliet is also a dilute tortie). Eric was certainly the more playful of the two but Tillie seemed much more affectionate. At first she was very shy and apprehensive, but we figured it was because there was a larger amount of people there than normal and she was getting overstimulated. Towards the end of our visit when we were amongst the last handful of people left, she became so much more friendly.

We have not made a decision yet but we are leaning towards Tillie. Eric was so cute and playful but his mother was also up for adoption and we aren't ready to bring our family up to 3 cats just yet - we couldn't possibly have the heart to separate them.

We are going to go back next week when the shelter is much quieter and see if we can get some personal time with Tillie. Hopefully my next update will be a happy one.


1 Comment
21:26 UTC


I feel guilty for already looking for a new cat.

I say goodbye to my beloved Siamese cat of 11.5 years tomorrow after a difficult month of trying everything in my power to manage his sudden declining health, which finally ending in a lymphoma diagnosis last week. I feel I've been mourning him for weeks now because he hasn't been himself at all since earlier last month and last week just finalized for me that this was indeed the end. I miss the happy and healthy cat he used to be so badly, and have been beside myself not being able to make him better.

I have another cat who grew up with my Siamese her whole 6.5 years with us, and I know she's been missing her play buddy. I can't bear to think of the hole my Siamese will leave tomorrow and am desperate to rescue another same breed mix to help fill that void and be a new friend for us and my other cat (I couldn't get one that looked just like him though). It's a definite guarantee that we will always have two cats, and I had always planned to have a Siamese rescue of some kind in my life if I could (I've loved the breed since I was little).

I feel terrible for looking at adoptable cats a couple of days before my sick baby is officially gone, but it truly feels like he's already been gone for weeks. I promised him that no cat ever could or would replace him, and that we wanted to rescue another just like we did him, in his honor and memory, because we will have so much love left after he leaves us that we have to give it to another kitty in need, and that our other cat would need a friend. I have tried to love on him as much as he'll tolerate and spoil him in every way I can think of these last few days, but he enjoys very little if anything anymore. He is ready to go and we will be relieved when he is no longer suffering and unhappy. I am already putting together a special memorial for him, which has helped ease some of the pain as we've prepared to say goodbye.

I know mourning pets is different than people in terms of timelines, but I hope I have not disrespected my baby by already looking for another to help heal our already-broken hearts. I feel like it will distract and help heal our grief, and I can't bear for my other kitty to be alone in the coming days. Maybe I'm just trying to head off as much new grief as possible? I'll always love him and miss him so much, and a million new cats could never change that.

21:15 UTC


Tell me about your babies

I had to put my first cat to sleep last Thursday. In memory of my sweetest girl, I wanted to start a comment section to share how great our babies were.

I'll go first. My short hair black/grey/brown tabby girl had the loudest purrs in this world. She would lay down next to my face at night and purr me to sleep. She was a loving cat. Whoever she met, she'd make them hers and make them feed her churrus by charming them with her love and cuteness. My parents used to hate/be afraid of cats due to past experience but now they have two of their own just because of how sweet my baby was. She was the loudest in the room. Always had lots to say. She would protect me and follow me to the bathroom and sit there guarding me from any predators while i used the toilet.

I miss you baby girl. You'll forever take my whole heart as one and only sweetheart.

19:47 UTC


When is this going to stop?

I was here a little over two weeks ago when I had to put my cat down. You can check the post history. I got nothing but kindness from you all, and I'm grateful for that.

Anyway...I still think she's here, a lot of the time. I'm still telling myself to watch the door so she doesn't get out when I let the dog in the yard. I'm still thinking of who I can call to care for her when I plan to be gone. I still catch myself remembering it's time to order her medicines again. It doesn't happen 100% of the time, but it happens often enough. And then I remember that no, I don't have to do any of those things, and I never will again.

And then I'm just crying.

I miss her so, so much. My dog looked for her in those first few days, but he didn't really seem to grieve. He's always been a velcro dog anyway, but now he's upgraded to superglue status, lol. I think he's afraid I won't come back if I leave since she didn't, one time.

Anyone else go through this? How long did this last for you, if you did?

19:33 UTC


Am I grieving?

One of my pet birds died today a few hours ago and I'm not sure if I'm grieving correctly. At first I felt nothing. Then an hour passes and in crying and feeling like shit for the next few hours. I felt immense guilt at his death. A part of me is saying that I'm faking the grief just to feel something. After crying and weeping, I feel a lot better then earlier. Was I grieving or has it not even started?

18:21 UTC


New Puppy

There's been a dog breed I've been wanting for many years - I even had the name picked put. I decided I wouldn't get one so long as my current senior dog lived. Being a spoiled, only child suited her and I didn't want to sacrifice her mental health - I loved and cared about her well-being more than anything. But now she's gone. And I miss her more than I have ever missed anything. But it's been three months. I realized being without a dog only fuels my loneliness, and I decided it was time for myself to get that puppy I've been eagerly wanting and very patiently waiting for.

But making that decision, and putting a deposit down just made me feel really sad. My senior dogs death felt really real in that moment because I would never be doing this if she was still here.

My mom asked me, after I told her the news, if I had dreamed of my new puppy last night. I said no, but didn't evaluate. I couldn't lie but I also couldn't bare to tell her that I had spent my night dreaming of my sweet girl whom I can't stop missing. Or that I spend most nights dreaming of her: what I would do if I had a second chance. The ache I feel every morning when I wake up and she's not lying there next to me is crippling.

I don't know how to live this life without her. She was my childhood dog, my best friend and my heart and my strength. I lived for her happiness and I don't remember my life when she wasn't in it. Life feels meaningless when she's not here experiencing it beside me.

I miss you, little love. So much.

18:03 UTC


Two months.

Two months since you were last here.

Two months with this hole in my heart and emptiness in my life.

Two months of tightness in my chest and crying on and off.

Two months since I’ve had a full nights sleep.

Two months since I was genuinely happy and excited about life.

17:10 UTC


One week in

I just want to see her come trundling in from the other room where she's been napping, meowing because she can't believe it's been a whole two hours since I gave her some scritches. I want her to hop up on my chest purring and kneading and licking my face while I pet her and kiss the top of her head and scratch under her neck and eventually she falls asleep. I miss her so much. I can't believe it's only been one week and I also can't believe it's already been an entire week.

17:06 UTC


We’re putting down our dog next weekend. Any advice for our last week together?

Our chihuahua is 16 and struggling to enjoy life these days. We decided next Saturday will be his last which means we have 7 days to make the most of our time together. He was my girlfriend’s dog first but we’ve been together almost 10 years so he’s just as much my dog now. We’re both grieving pretty hard already and it hasn’t happened yet. We’re planning to take him to the park for some fresh air and obviously feed him all of his favorite foods, but I’m curious if anyone has any tips for something we aren’t considering? Or can anyone think of something special I can do for my girlfriend to help with the grief?

16:30 UTC


It's been months but I still ache for my best friend back.

16:14 UTC


Reading recommendations for pet grief?

Do you have any books/essays that helped you when your four-legged love died? Will you share them with me? Bonus: Are there any books on animal *siblings*?

I often feel better after reading something about dogs, whether it's a short essay or a whole book, and especially if the animal is a large dog. (side note: My sister is a golden retriever, we grew up together! I'm partial, but any animal works for me. I read an essay about a dying frog and a story about a dying duck and liked them both.)

Most of the stories featuring dogs (Because of Winn-Dixie, Marley & Me, The Art of Racing in the Rain) don't grapple much with pet grief.

I loved My Dog: The Paradox in The Oatmeal, for example. https://theoatmeal.com/comics/dog_paradox

And the ubertoolcomic comic from 2014: https://imgur.com/a/4QzpcuL

I couldn't find these easily; they took months of looking at posts and comments on pet grief every day on Reddit/Twitter/Instagram (not that I was searching them out; I was just in grief and the algorithm caught on to it). I remember I found the ubertoolcomic from a twitter comment, someone was consoling the twitter poster who had lost their dog. Can we crowdsource and lean on each other for recommendations?

I'm also open to movies. Anything, really, that hits, lets me feel less alone and crazy.

15:49 UTC


Struggling to move past my overwhelming grief

About ten days ago my 10-year old cat Charlie passed away suddenly and unexpectedly. I'm in shock, devastated, and filled with grief.

Roughly two weeks before he died, my brother reported to me that Charlie appeared to be drinking more from our pet fountain. I noted this and observed Charlie for a couple of days, but was not able to see evidence of it. I did, however, notice his somewhat thinner waistline a few days later and had some mild concern. His eating habits had not changed, but he seemed to be losing some weight on his back end, yet I assumed this was due to his getting older. Or perhaps another cat we'd introduced a few months earlier was simply eating some of the dry food he would have consumed or maybe causing Charlie some undue stress (although they seemed to be getting along fine).

One night last week Charlie did not, as was his custom, sleep alongside me and another of our cats. When I awoke in the morning and realized this, I quickly located him sleeping in a favorite chair with a view to our front yard. He appeared somewhat irritable and when I petted him cried as though he were feeling poorly or in pain. I stroked him again and he repeated this behavior. I informed my brother that I would call our vet. and take him in that day, but that I would first observe him for a couple of hours. Roughly 2-3 hours later I checked on him to see if he was feeling better and wanted to go out into our yard. When I opened the door he hopped off the chair on which he was sleeping and headed outside. He spent the next several hours wandering and enjoying himself. Eventually he returned and I fed him. He easily hopped up onto the bathroom counter (his usual and favorite dining spot) and ate as he normally would, while enjoying his typical routine of wanting to be petted and brushed while having his meal. He did so without complaint or cry, so I assumed that he was feeling better. The remainder of his day was normal and that night he engaged in his usual practice of sleeping alongside me and another of our cats. At one point, when I rolled over in bed, he crept closer to my face, purred loudly, and pawed me. I gave him and his brother a couple of treats and we all returned to sleep.

The next morning Charlie was in his usual sunrise location adjacent to my bedroom window when I awoke. His day was typical: out in the yard for about an hour in the morning, followed by breakfast, napping on his favorite chair, and enjoying a couple of dry food munching sessions at which I petted and brushed him. Again, there was no sensitivity expressed as he had done briefly the previous morning. When I returned from work later that evening, my brother informed me that Charlie was out beyond our yard playing in a neighboring wooded area. He had done so many times, so as I always worried a bit about his doing this I responded by calling to him. A few minutes after I did so he came bounding into our home and ate his dinner. He then hopped on to my lap and spent 15 minutes or so "kneading" my stomach (something he loved to do), then lay by a scratching post, looking very comfortable and at ease. During this night he repeated his pattern of sleeping alongside me and one of his siblings, begging for (and receiving) a few treats, and purring loudly.

The following morning Charlie again headed outdoors for a while, ate his breakfast, and settled in for some rest. When I returned from work that afternoon I checked and he seemed to be himself, enjoying some petting and affection. My brother and I then proceeded to run a few errands and while doing so, I decided to call our vet., report Charlie's weight shift, and set an appointment for the following week. We then returned home, fed the cats (including Charlie) their evening meal, then let them out in the yard to play for a while. Charlie acted naturally by wandering around and chatting (he loved to "talk") to his siblings. I even witnessed him relieving himself with no problem whatsoever. Around 6:00 p.m. the cats, as well as my brother and I, returned indoors. I went to bed to relax and play on my computer for a while. Charlie jumped onto my bed with ease and crawled onto my chest. After a few minutes he shifted into a position along my side. Over the next 2.5 hours I watched and read some things online while drifitng in to and out of sleep. Around 8:30 p.m. I decided to go find something to eat. I looked at Charlie, who was lying next to me in a very relaxed manner and purring slightly, and said "Sorry buddy, but I need to get out from under these covers so I can go to the kitchen." I then slid out of bed and headed down the hall.

When I arrived in the kitchen, another of our cats was crying to go outside, so I opened the door for him and sat for about 15 minutes awaiting his return. After he slipped back indoors, I grabbed my snack and headed back to the bedroom.

Upon turning the corner to my bedroom I noticed Charlie in an odd position and, for a moment, looked at him to try and determine what he was doing. It then hit me that he might be dead. I rushed to him, lifted him, and gently shook him to try and awaken him. He did not respond. I checked his throat for any obstructions and found none. I checked him for any abrasions, blood, or bite marks (there are poisonous snakes in my area) and found none either. He was still somewhat warm and his nose was slightly damp, but his body was limp. It appeared that he had died in the few minutes that I steppped away.

I took him to an emergency veterinary clinic and the doctor there confirmed that Charlie's heart was no longer beating.

Since that day last week I'm struggling to overcome my overwhelming grief. I was somewhat worried that Charlie was struggling with a health issue, but not overly concerned as he had never, in the eight years in which he lived with me, needed to visit with a vet. unless it was for an annual wellness check and I could not (and can not) understand why a large, robust, very animated pet could literally go from looking completely healthy to dropping dead within the span of roughly 15 days.

My apologies for the length of this story but I feel as though I'm a horrible pet owner who was, in Charlie's time of need, neglectful. He exhibited some signs of being out of sorts, but when I made his vet. appointment I figured that perhaps something was slightly amiss and that the vet. might prescribe some meds. to correct whatever was ailing him. I do not know what exactly ended his life, but I suspect that he suffered from some underlying (and perhaps longtime undetected) heart disease that swiftly attacked him. I ask myself constantly "Why didn't you take him to the vet. when you were worried?" Worse, I'm now left to wonder, for the rest of my days, if my slow response literally cost my wonderful companion his life and I simply cannot escape the pain of this consideration.

Many thanks to anyone who has read this lengthy account. If you have any advice for someone who is stuck in a place of crushing and unexpected sorrow, I'm all ears.

15:24 UTC


Clay paw rpint

I had my dog cremated as she died a week and a day ago. We got her remains back yesterday and they made a clay paw print. My fiancé and I want to get her paw tattooed so we need an inked version of it but to do that I need to like cast the clay print so I can use it like a stamp. I was thinking of using foam clay but I’m so afraid it’s gonna stick and I won’t be able to get it off and I don’t want to ruin the paw print as it’s the only one I have. Anymore have any ideas? I really want to memorialize her and I need help.

Thanks in advance

14:33 UTC


I said goodbye to my cat today and I feel so unbelievably guilty.

I had my cat put to sleep today, due to a urinary blockage. He was only 7 years old. He had a history of chronic UTI's and due to a separate inury of his, where he had to wear a cone for 3 weeks, we mistook the signs of his UTI for stress and out of character behaviour from wearing the cone. I feel so so tremendously awful and guilty that I didn't catch the symptoms in time. I used to work in the veterinary field and feel I should absolutely have been able to correctly see the signs. By the time we took him to the emergency vets, he was blocked. We were given 2 options, one of surgery which would have been £2000+, and we couldn't guarantee against further blockages, and considering his history, would be quite likely. The other option was to put him to sleep. The vet was really lovely and said that this was the decision she would have made if it was her own cat, considering his history, but, I feel like we gave up on him and I feel so badly that I want to be able to go back and make the different decision, just so I could have him back home with us. I feel like I completely and utterly failed my boy.

14:10 UTC


How do you help your other pets cope?

I used to have two cats until a week ago. The surviving cat is looking for her sister still, and she wants to play but whenever I play with her she loses interest fast. She grew up in a feral cat colony, was sent to a rescue with a lot of other cats, and then lived here with me and her sister so she's never been without other cats around and she's always loved having a feline playmate.

I just don't think I'm ready to get another cat yet, but I can tell she's confused and a bit lonely, and it's only going to get worse once I have to start going into the office for work next week. I don't know how to help her. I give her cuddles and attention and try to play with her and sometimes it works, but I can tell there's something missing.

13:18 UTC


The no more 'morning routine' is killing me

Mornings have been the worst for me in the grief journey of my beloved Loki.

I sob every morning, because my cat loved routines and his life ran like clockwork.

I would come downstairs in the morning. My dad doesn't sleep great, so he would be with him in the early hours of morning, and they'd usually keep each other company. I awake at 7/8am and as soon as I would round the corner of the stairs, I would hear him jump off my dad's lap and follow me straight into the kitchen. Every morning I expect to have him following behind me, or rubbing against my legs, asking to be picked up and greeted with a good morning. But now I have nothing.

I feel hollow.

Can only hope things get better in time.

11:06 UTC


She’s gone

Had to put down my dog I’ve had since I was 15. I’m just so sad right now.

10:34 UTC


My cat died and I will never be the same

My cat Potter died a week ago. He was only 9 years old and it was completely unexpected. He seemed totally fine that morning. He was following me around while I was making breakfast. He followed me to the bathroom and left after a couple of minutes of petting. I heard him wretching like he had a hairball. He did it a few times. I followed his path and cleaned up the puddles. Then I found him at the top of the stairs. He was open mouth panting and had labored breathing.

I sat with him for a few minutes to see if he got better, but he didn't. I don't have a lot of money and in my experience the vet always seems to try to inflate the bill. I finally got scared enough to rush him to the vet's office. It was a new office for us. A place close to our house. They got him on oxygen and examined him. The vet suspected asthma, so he did a chest X-ray. He showed it to me and told me that it was definitely asthma. He explained what I'd need to do for treatment. He'd given Potter some medicine and he had stabilized. He was breathing normally again. On the way home, he was happy and purring.

A few hours later, the panting and labored breathing returned. The vet had not given me any instructions to follow if this happened again. I called and he told me to give Potter the Prednisone he'd sent us home with. I did and over an hour later, he was still in distress. I gave him another half a tablet, hoping that would help. I was under the impression that he was just having an asthma attack. On the phone, the vet reassured me that this was normal. I debated bringing Potter back to the vet's office for oxygen, but I didn't. And then he died.

I was devastated. I'd had Potter for 9 years and he was unlike any cat I'd ever had. He stood out among cats. He had a huge personality and he loved us so much. He made himself a part of our everyday routines. He was such a a special cat that I knew when he left us, my life would change forever. But I thought that would be years from now.

I ended up talking to a friend who is an exotic animals vet. She believes that he didn't have asthma and actually died of heart failure. I believe that she's right. When we got Potter, we also adopted his brother from the same litter, Weasley. 2 years ago, Weasley died suddenly overnight from Saddle Thrombosis, which also starts with a heart condition. I did take Potter for a check-up after Weasley died and was told that he was healthy.

I had a lot of guilt and anger after Potter died. I felt like I'd took him to the wrong place initially. And that I should have taken him back that night for help. I also felt like the vet let us down by not telling us to come back when he heard that Potter was back in respiratory distress. I know now that nothing could have been done.

My whole family is heartbroken. I know that I will never really be the same again.

08:15 UTC


Trying to redirect my grief

I’m not sure if it’s okay to post this here, but I’m really struggling with trying to make the right decision and this is somehow part of my grieving process.

I just recently lost my two beagles. On in November and one this past Thursday. I had them both since they were puppies and they were both 15 years old. I thought i was going to wait a while before getting another dog because the last year has been so so hard with their dueling health issues and trying to keep them both going, but the house is just too empty. The cats energy just isn’t the same as the dogs energy. I saw the empty crate yesterday morning and completely broke down, crying so hard my chest hurt. So I need to redirect. I need something good to focus on.

When I’ve lost my cats I pretty quickly go adopt another cat. In my weird brain I feel like something good is coming out of something bad and it gives me a place to redirect my grief. I still miss the pets I’ve lost, but having another pet to love helps me. I may be broken, I don’t know.

Now to the dilemma. I did something I shouldn’t have done, and I looked to see what was out there. Both rescues and puppies. And I found an 8 year old that was surrendered. She hasn’t been fixed, though she will be, but there’s some increased cancer risks there. Also, saving her would be the epitome of something good coming from something bad. But from my own beagles I know that she’s at the age where health issues start creeping up. I’ve adopted senior cats and it’s been a mixed bag. One made it 5 years and died of old age at the age of 20. The other made it 9 months and died at age 12 from cancer. And I’ve just been through a lot with my two. Leukemia, liver masses, pancreatitis and ultimately heart failure for one. Vestibular disease and an aggressive tumor on the neck for the other. So I can’t help but feel like I’m signing up for a world of heartbreak with the 8 year old. Even though my heart breaks for her just being surrendered at 8.

On the other had there is an adorable 4 month old blue tick puppy, which I’ve often said I would love to get a little blue tick beagle. She’s young. She’s got her whole life ahead of her. I would be able to do what I did with my two babies. Start young and give her a long happy life. But I feel so selfish for getting the puppy instead, even though it was really what I always planned to do.

I would get both if I could. But after the last year with my babies I financially can’t afford to so here I am agonizing over which one to choose. I’m waiting to see what more they can tell me about the 8 year olds health. In the meanwhile there’s no guarantee the puppy will be there if I decide to go that route once I have more information.

06:57 UTC


I feel like I could've done something

My ferret died today. There is nothing I could do. I suspected she may need put down yesterday but I didn't necessarily think today would be it. When I found her I kept thinking she was twitching or curling her toes or that I felt her heartbeat. There was none, and I know there was none, but as it has been cold in the house I found myself holding her feet and (now mostly bald) tail hoping I could warm them up and wake her again.

Based on the lack of smell I am assuming she had been gone only a couple hours possibly. I believe it was a seizure and it must've happened while I was out of the house, otherwise I would probably have heard her and gone to help. Of course, I would have done many things if I'd known. It was expected but admittedly I did think maybe I had a little more time since she was otherwise in good spirits. In hindsight, there were signs.

Anyway, we went to bury her and I kept thinking I felt her moving. But she was stiff, so no. Now that it's been several hours, I don't want to sleep. I feel like I buried a living animal who just needed to be warmed back up. I know that's not possible but I can't help thinking if I'd made sure she was extra warm today she'd be alive right now. I know it wouldn't have made a difference.

I just don't know what to do.

1 Comment
06:27 UTC


I lost my best boy

In September of 2023 I loss my dad unexpectedly. He was an alone wolf kind of guy but he had one cat. Mr. K my boyfriend and I took him in immediately. We got attached so fast we loved him beyond words. Every little moment was special with him. He was there when I cried about my dad. He was the most cuddly and kind cat I’ve ever met. He was our best boy it was always just the three of us. He made our house feel like a home. Recently we saw he was getting wobbly and he started throwing up we scheduled a vet appointment. I was extremely worried but I thought as soon as we got him in everything would be okay. A few days ago I woke up and went to find him under the bed. He came out and had blood coming out of his mouth we called around panicking trying to be hopeful and took him to a nearby emergency vet. We found out he had kidney disease, liver disease, and his blood count was extremely low. It was old age. They said he could pass anytime but wouldn’t have longer than a week. We had to make the worst decision. We took him home for the night and had him put down the next day. We didn’t want him to suffer but it hurt so much. Here I am a two days later. I feel empty and sick. Life has never been so gray… we only had him for five months but it feels like I lost my child, my best friend. He was our everything, he was my everything. He always acted so strong and even though he was weak he let us hold onto him for one more night. We will always love you Mr. K I hope you and dad are having fun together on the rainbow bridge.

05:32 UTC


A poem ❤️

Since you have gone

Since you have gone, Things have changed. The bath mat is on the floor Rather than hung up on the shower

Since you have gone, Your matted fur is no longer strewn around the carpet, My pillow no longer has a dent

Since you have gone, There are still claw marks in the couch, There is still litter dust everywhere, And there is still wood stains in the hallway

Since you have gone, The house has grown quiet, Except for the cries of your sister, Who never showed her love until now

Since you have gone, Life isn’t the same

Rest in peace Lewis, My second brother

1 Comment
04:35 UTC


Had to put my cat to sleep

I am so upset. I was in a d.v situation and am currently not allowed any pets where I am staying.I have not been home since mid December. My husband has the house and pets for now.

I have been told that my cat has been roaming the house, yowling for me since I left.

I was informed on Tuesday that my plump handome boy was skin and bones and had developed sores on his face and belly.

I had to make arrangements for a neutral person to get my cat and meet me at the vets. The person put the cat carrier in my passenger seat. Immediately my cat started purring.

I put the seat of the car back and let him out. He he climbed on me and rubbed his face all over my arms and torso. He put his head up near my chin and was kneading on me so fast.

The vet allowed me use of the room to love on him for over an hour.

The vet said that he had a form of skin cancer and that stress can make it worse.

I feel so quilty that me not being home made him ill. I am angry at my spouse for causing this situation. I am grateful that the vet allowed me extra time and was willing to stay after hours.

I am worried about how empty my house will be. I also need to add the my husband had our elderly dog put to sleep about 10 days after the dv incident. Our dog was 16 and had an appointment already, but my husband didn't have a mutual friend bring the dog to meet up with me so I could say good bye.

1 Comment
04:24 UTC


I didn't think our ending would be like this.

I first met my baby cat as a foster. She was 8 years old and at the time I hated cats. I only fostered because my boyfriend wanted to. However, I fell insanely in love with her as she showed me soooo much love that I never experienced before. When they asked me to send her in for adoption, we ended up signing the paper work and adopting her ourself.

Since last November, she started sleeping a bit more than usual but her appetite/activeness was the same so I didn't think of it more than her age. We went for her semi-annual vet check up on February 6th and did some blood work and gave her rabies vaccine and FRVCP vaccine. The results later showed that T4 levels were higher than usual, meaning her hyperthyroid was not being managed by the pills we've been giving her. I didn't think more of this either. We had something like this happen before and managed to get the T4 levels back to normal by changing her dosage. However, after the vet visit, she ate less and stopped eating to the point she would resist her pill pockets (which she used to devour). I took her to the urgent care and they did some xrays and she had some gas in her colons and food slowly moving in her small intestines. This didn't show any reasons for her appetite loss. More tests followed and they said her spleen had a nodule and kidney had an infection. Still no signs of why she stopped eating.

I started syringe feeding her to keep her eating and hoped she would feel better after eating. However, she stopped swallowing the syringe feed completely. I rushed to the emergency room and her bloodwork was a complete mess. They gave us two options 1) feeding tube and fluids 2) euthanasia. They also added that she might not even survive after the feeding tube. My husband and I decided to let her go to stop her pain but I can't get it out of my head because I still don't know what made her that sick. It's also driving me nuts because theres a voice in my head telling me I should've tried whatever possible to bring her back and that I gave up too early. Everything in the house reminds me of her but at the same time I'm already forgetting her scent, warmth, the way her tongue felt, her purrs, and her soft toe beans. She won't visit me in my dreams either which makes me think that she's upset at me for giving up so early or that she's just having a hard time crossing the bridge (she was a scardy cat). I miss her so much and I wish i can turn time and do everything differently.

I also can't break from the thought that the vaccination made her break down faster from what was breaking her initially.

04:24 UTC


My cat, Oranges died.

My cat Oranges died, from being ran over. We were playing outside, and than Oranges saw a bird.

Oranges, chased after the bird. A car was coming, and the bird flew over the road. Just at the second

Oranges was at the road, the car ran over Oranges.

03:47 UTC


My mother killed my dog

I have been dealing with this pain for over a year now and it’s finally time I share it 😢

Last summer my mother texted me while I was at work and told me that she had an appointment to put our dog down. She gave me no warning about this and I did not even get a chance to say goodbye to my dog that I had for 11 years 😢 her reasoning was the vet “saw blood in her urine” and it was time for her to be euthanized. My mother had also NOT been trimming my dogs nails for a year and claimed she would scream in pain when she tried to trim them. My dog had problems walking because of her and she refused to take her anywhere to trim her nails.

A few weeks later, my mother tells me she has a new apartment she has been slowly moving things into because she can’t stand to live with my dad anymore. I did not care about this at the time because her and my father have not got along for about a decade.. After some thinking, I have come to the conclusion that she put my dog down just to move into her new apartment. I am honestly disgusted in her because she lied about my dog being sick just so she had a reason to move out (her new apartment does not allow pets).

Sorry for the rant I am just missing my girl a lot this past week 😢

03:39 UTC


Did/do any of you use medication to cope? I feel like I have no resilience

We lost our beloved 18 year old cat overnight. All signs point to a heart attack. Initially, it looked like she was just sleeping. There was no drool, foam, blood, vomit, etc. Just lying on her side on the carpet next to the bed, where my mom sleeps.

She was dealing with serious health issues that seemed to emerge/worsen spontaneously over the course of a couple days - severe kidney issues (with zero history of kidney disease and kidneys that looked great less than six months prior) and then heart disease, which was speculated to have gotten much worse when she developed fluid in her chest during aggressive subq fluid treatment. But despite her health challenges, she really seemed to be turning around. After almost losing her five weeks ago, she gradually returned to baseline. Yesterday, when we took her to the vet, we were told she may very well make it to 19. Everyone was making jokes about how she was finally “back”. These past two weeks she was lively, curious, begging for snacks, purring like a tractor, walking up the stairs all by herself.

I was out of the house most of the day yesterday for work, and didn’t dote on her as much as I usually do when I got home. Why would I? When I gave her a quick kiss on the forehead before bed, I assumed I would see her the next day. The regret is intense. Why did that have to be her last day? The one day I was gone when I work 90% remote.

I’m comforted by the fact that she had a wonderful life and was more pampered than just about any cat I’ve ever known. Especially in those last five weeks. I’m also comforted knowing that she (allegedly) passed quickly and naturally, possibly even in her sleep. What haunts me is wondering if she was struggling or scared at the very end, and she was just so quiet, no one got woken up. I guess that’s a question we’re just going to have to live with.

As selfish as it sounds, right now I’m concerned about myself. We got her when I was nine years old and now I’m 27. I have a history of severe major depressive disorder, and this past year has probably been the hardest year of my life (and I had cancer in my early twenties). I’ve been dabbling with psychedelics to help with my depression, and was slowly weaning myself off of the cocktail of meds I was on because I hate the side effects. I’ve also been trying to cut back a little bit on the amount of weed I smoke. The past week in particular has been unusually difficult after another dose adjustment for one of my meds. Just the other day, I found myself thinking “wow, I’ve been feeling so depressed lately. But at least my sweet girl has finally turned a corner and doesn’t seem at risk of passing away right now. At the very least, I don’t have to deal with that. Thank god I don’t have to deal with that.”

And now it’s happened. I can’t wrap my mind around how I’m going to adjust to this massive hole, this loss of ritual and routine. Never hearing her meow again, or cuddling her when I’m feeling down. I immediately went back to my old med schedule, and have been high all day. I guess I’m feeling ashamed, and could use some words of encouragement. Months of weaning, and now back to square one because I couldn’t get myself mentally prepared for what now seems inevitable. Because I couldn’t come to grips with reality. I’m feeling hopeless and like I have no resilience. I know I don’t need permission to do what I’m doing - but it would sure help to hear someone tell me there’s no shame in it.

03:17 UTC


Only 1 1/2

Yesterday I put down my cat. He went from perfectly fine to on deaths doorstep in a matter of hours. He was apparently born with an abnormally large heart (3x the size it should be). He was always active and loved to play. But all that play wore heavy on his heart and other supporting organs(his lungs were working overtime constantly). Within 16 hours from finding him panting, he was gone. He not only was my cat i had raised from 2 weeks old, but he was my ESA. I have some pretty severe PTSD and other mental health issues, and he kept me alive at my lowest points. he wasn’t in pain but at any moment the doctors can tell his heart or lungs would give out. he wasn’t reacting to meds, and if he would react his quality of life wasn’t going to improve more than 15%. He was so feisty his entire life but at the end there he wasn’t fighting. he was ready to go. when he went limp in my arms at the vet after all the paperwork i couldn’t anymore. i was promised 14 more years with him. and i just can’t. he was only a year and a half old. i love him and i miss him. he’s only been passed a little over 24 hours. and i have no clue what im gonna do without him.

03:04 UTC

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