The Rainbow Bridge

i lost my babygirl, Ellie in december to an aggressive form of cancer. she was in a lot of pain… she was my sweetest, most docile, quite loving little peanut. she was meek and mild, just wanting to be near me. she had the sweetest energy i’ve ever experienced in a creature. anyways losing her broke me, and i also simultaneously ended my relationship. so ffwd to recently: i thought i was ready to adopt a new dog. i’d been going to the shelter weekly just to browse. but the other day, it was sunny, i got let out of work early, and well i just was feeling impulsive so i adopted a 2 year old chihuahua. he was very fun, high energy and adorable. right when i got home with him i had this intense anxiety rush over me. i couldn’t eat, my stomach was a mess, my head even worse. i just am not ready. i took him back today, knowing he’s adorable and tiny and young and will have no trouble being adopted. he’s truly a great little cutie but i don’t have it in me.

i am in my healing era……. i am still healing. i can’t just put another dog in her place. they were very kind to me at the shelter and they understood.
i know i made the right decision. i don’t know if ill ever be able to get another dog. i need a few years i think. thanks for reading, just wondering if anyone else has experienced something similar. i just can’t open my heart. she was my perfect little girl.

My sweet, sweet black cat was killed by a car, and I never even got to say good bye to him. He was an indoor-outdoor stray that I met on the street one day, and he wouldn't let me walk away from him. He would run in front of me when I tried to leave and meow loudly, demanding that I stay with him and pet him. We bonded instantly and our love for each other was so deep. We became inseparable. He was polydactyl and had one extra thumb on each paw. It was the cutest thing ever.

I was out of town for work when I was notified by a few neighbors that they saw the body of a black cat in the gutter of the street we live on. 30 minutes later, the body was gone. There are coyotes around so maybe one of them took his body, or maybe somebody threw it out. Anyway, it sounds pretty conclusive that he was hit by a car and I will have no remains of his to cremate.

I have been so stressed and upset that I actually wet the bed last night, yeah as a full-grown adult, during a nightmare I had about my deceased cat (and other personal issues I'm facing at this time). The thought of him getting struck by a car, if he had survived the initial hit and suffered, what his body could have looked like, if he died alone and in pain and scared, the fact I'll never get to see him again. It's too much.

Does anyone have any good resources for coping with the massive levels of stress and grief? It's so hard having to act like you have it all together out there in the world when you're dying on the inside.

Thank you.

Our corgi had an emergency surgery last week to remove her ruptured spleen and the results finally came. It was indeed cancerous and I am so heartbroken. Her recovery is going well, energy is back to normal and eating/potty-ing fine.. for now. I just can’t accept that she might be gone soon.

I’m sure there are so many posts like this but how do I cope, what do we do? Someone please tell me she’ll be okay.

I said goodbye to my soul pup around 2 am on 3/22/24.

I had taken him 3 times earlier that week to have his wound treated to no avail. Each attempt was met with, “he needs to see a specialist.”

I already had an appt scheduled for him to see his Oncologist. But my baby needed immediate medical attention due to his Spindle Cell Sarcoma tumor having ruptured. It was bleeding profusely for 3 days. His energy levels dropped considerably. He was in so much pain and I couldn’t do anything to help him.

I begged and pleaded with the first emergency hospital I went to that night to please provide wound care. But they stated as long as his gums were pink and he wasn’t having difficulties breathing, that he is deemed stable and had to wait to be called.

I asked them to please confirm that they use a simple viewing of the gums as vital signs, and they said yes. I should have left after that but was scared he would go down hill fast and wanted to be near a hospital if it did go down that way.

I waited for 5 hours before another pet who was having trouble breathing was admitted. The parties in the lobby were asked to leave due to the doctor being tied up with previous intakes and the current one who had just came in.

And so I left, with tears and anger to another location I had visited earlier that week. Again, I begged and pleaded that I only sought wound care for him.

This time around, I suppose they saw how badly he had gotten and admitted him to the back to take vital signs. They stated if he was stable, he’d be able to hang out with me until he was called to be seen. If he wasn’t stable, he’d hang out in the back with them.

About 15 minutes later, the vet tech comes with his harness in hand and says that he will be under observation in the back until they are able to give us a room so the vet could speak with me. I knew instantly it was very bad news and I tried to prepare myself for the worst.

The worst came, as I suspected and I had to say goodbye to my soul pup. He was my shadow, my protector, my confidant, my everything. He had been my rock through many stages of my life.

11 years of his presence in my life gone in a matter of seconds. He was so aware of my emotions and thoughts. We could speak to one another through our eyes and it was the most beautiful companionship I have ever been blessed to experience. He was the smartest, most astute, and understanding animal I have ever come across.

Only the memory of his love exists in my mind and heart now, and I cannot stop breaking down about it. All I can do is pray that he finds his way back to me.

I can’t get over the hit and run incident. Everytime I remember the face of the person who killed my dog, I tend to breakdown. He never apologized on what he did and tried to deny his fault. I hope his conscience will bother him one day.

Is it wrong to feel angry if someone tells me to just move on?

Molly was my world. When I saved her when she was 3 years old, I fell in love with her immediately and knew I’d do whatever I could to give her the best life. My sweet girl taught me what it means to love unconditionally. We travelled, we hiked, we shared quiet nights together and she saved me from my lowest lows. Her death was too far in the future to think about…until it wasn’t.

She grew a mass on her leg that was constantly bleeding and weeping every day. It required constant cleaning, constant washing of her and her bed and linens but we didn’t mind. Then she couldn’t go down the stairs or into the car without pain so we carried her. She started not being able to control her bowels and I said that’s ok, I’ll take her out as many times as she needs a night. For a while, I couldn’t face that my poor baby was old and sick now. She was hurting and I selfishly wanted her to stay with me just a bit longer.

I realized that loving your pet means making the hard choices. Giving her the best life meant also giving her the best and most comfortable passing. After we made the appointment to put her to sleep at home, we spend the remaining month spoiling her even more. Walks in a wagon, lobster, steak, burgers, and doggy cakes and treats. Nightly massages and finally a long bath and grooming. We felt so blessed that we could say goodbye in this way because so many beloved pets and their guardians are not able to.

Yesterday, my partner and I held her in our arms on her bed at home while we fed her warm chocolate chip cookies as the vet put her to sleep. As my girl took her last breaths, we told her we’d see her soon, she was our princess, and how much we loved her. We’ve never cried so much or so hard. We don’t regret what we did and we’re so happy she’s no longer in pain. She lived longer than was usual for her breed and we don’t regret putting her down when we did. We just couldn’t bear seeing her in any more discomfort. Please don’t feel guilty for doing what you must with the resources you have. Your pet understands, I promise.

Before this he did not show any signs of illness or pain, he looked normal that morning and it seemingly happened very suddenly. But he had slowly been getting distant from my family for a little bit before, it looked like maybe it happened while he was sleeping but we are all very confused. Thoughts on this would be appreciated

Hi all,

Thanks to this sub for existing. I've been reading your stories and they've brought me lots of comfort. I lost my 10 year old cat Dallas last night to sudden heart failure. I chose not to do CPR with the odds being as they are. I was with him when he passed and my only regret is not being more present while he was dying. I was definitely having a panic attack and rushed him to the emergency vet. They wrapped him up in a blanket and let me hold him for as long as I needed.

I lost my boyfriend 2 months ago to terminal brain cancer and Dallas was my rock throughout this whole journey. He was rehomed to me by a former roommate later in his life and I'm just so grateful for the time we had together. He got me through some of worst couple years in my life. And now he's gone and the grief is so overwhelming. He is so loved and I'll miss him forever. Sending love to everyone going through this and healing💗

Sorry this is a long post. I just wanted to vent it out.

We lost earlier our precious 2 year old girl cat, around 7:26AM.

She was very normal and active, early in the morning. Playing with her brother, running and jumping. When her older brother asked for cat stix, I gave them. Until, she slowly stopped to lick the treat that I am giving to them and stared on the ground. When I noticed that she's not moving, in loaf bread position, I checked her and suddenly there was a funny smell, I checked on her tail and there was a poop on her bum. Since she's not moving, I cleaned the area and I tried to put her on the litter box, and she seems angry, I get it that she doesn't like to be there. When I lifted her up, I checked her eyes, it was dilated. So I put her again on the floor. She started to breathe with her mouth open, while I am checking a 24/7 vet clinic on our area, I put the air circulator on her. Then she started to pee on the floor and panting again. Fast forward, when we were in the vet clinic, they said that her gums is almost pale and her body temp is dropping, it was 37. And the RBC is 8.22, they said it was low. I really dont understand what is happening that time. Until she got critical. They tried to revive her. And that's it, she's gone. Our baby girl is gone that fast.

When we went to the vet clinic,, she's inside her pink pet cage, when we went home, I brought a box with her lifeless body inside.

I cannot compose myself. I cannot accept this is real. It is happening. I know this time will come, but not this so soon. This is my first time to be shattered. Worst than a breakup or a romantic heartbreak.

Usually when there's a dead family member/relative or friends I just accept it, but the feeling.. when your beloved pet died, it is so different. Really different. It really hits you. Shaken to the core.

And then, I carried her home with me, so her older brother can mourn, but the older brother cat just hissed on her, he didn't recognize her, maybe because she smells like medicine and vet clinic.

I miss her so much. Until now, I cried endlessly.

3 months ago to the day, I posted about the loss of my precious little man named Sawyer. He was a handsome, loving, goofy 3 year old cat whose only desire in life was to be cuddled. The short version of the story is that he threw a blood clot in the middle of the night and we had to put him to sleep. It was the most aggressive despair I've ever had to deal with, and to have it happen so suddenly, without warning, is a cruelty I wish could be erased from existence.

I spent the better part of that month crying every single day. We dedicated a space in our home to memorialize him; I had a beautiful portrait commissioned so that I will be able to look at him every day; I am in the process of working with someone to get a tattoo of him so that he will be with me for the rest of my life. And in just a couple of weeks, we will be bringing another lovely little kitty into our home who deserves her own happy life.

Sawyer's loss has left behind a hole in our hearts that can never be filled. His sister, Juliet, has become much more affectionate in his absence; she was always incredibly playful, but now she is also more vocal and requires a lot more physical attention (which we absolutely give her). But they had a special bond and it is our hope that she will be able to form a new loving and lasting relationship with our newest little girl, Penny. Juliet is already very sweet and friendly, and Penny (fka Tiana, whom we have visited multiple times at the shelter), is an absolute love bug - just like Sawyer was.

Yesterday, she was taken in for surgery to remove all of her teeth - the shelter manager said she has stomatitis. From my understanding, it's basically an aggressive form of gingivitis - a severe inflammation of the gums. Her case is not quite so advanced, and with the surgery she is expected to be completely and totally healthy following her recovery and should not need any kind of prolonged or continued special treatment. I am just happy that we were able to find each other and have committed to giving her a new home, because I know how difficult it can be sometimes for sick, or older, or otherwise "different" cats to get adopted. We knew of her condition prior to our adoption approval, and that only made us want her more. A sweet little angel like that needs as much a chance as any.

Today I am awaiting a call from the shelter manager to update me on how she is feeling on her recovery, and we will make plans to go from there. I will likely make one final post/update in a couple of weeks after we have brought her home and moved through the initial adjustment phase for her and Juliet. To anyone else struggling over the recent loss of a pet, or the decision to adopt again afterwards, just know that you are not alone. This is not a pain exclusive to you. I will miss Sawyer for the rest of my life, but our capacity to love and care for another living being should not be wasted in misery. Take care of yourselves, and your animals. They deserve it.

I lost my precious fur baby three years ago, almost four next month. Lately I've been missing her like crazy. She's been with me ever since I was a little girl , and passed away day after I had graduated high school. I don't think I ever got to say my final good bye to her and that is the main reason I'm still grieving. My mom and sister took her to put her down since she was severely sick. He couldn't walk, eat, etc. I felt so sad I couldn't do anything to make her better. I was upset, bawled my eyes out and cried in the shower when they took her because I physically couldn't make myself get in the car to take her. How does one deal with all of this? Why do I still feel guilty knowing she was still in pain? Why am I crying typing this? Just, why? It's been three years , should I be over it by now? She was like a girls best friend who's been with her since she was born. I need help. I do have other cats and we've gained a kitten a few years after she passed , but why am I still so sad? We've had her since I was one years old and she sadly passed away when I turned 18/19.

Tomorrow marks 2 months since my boy Toothless has passed into the next world. I know I’ve posted saying I never see any signs of him anywhere but I can’t help but feel like he’s still in my apartment. I thought signs would be like, the sun shining on his favorite place whenever I came home or maybe the wind whistling around the time he passed every day. When I walk into other rooms, I see him in the corner of my eye in the places he would be resting and waiting for pets and hugs.

My lease on my apartment, his final home, is up in a couple months and seeing him around is the only thing tying me to the apartment. I moved out of my parent’s home to keep him safe from my parent’s partner always losing him when I was at work. This was OUR home, the place for us, where we got to lay in bed all day if we wanted. I feel like once I move, I won’t see him the way I do anymore. When my grandfather passed, my mom told me she felt lucky he visited our house before he died because she still sees him walking around our place every now and then after 25 years. I was excited for him to have a new home this year, I already had a shortlist of apartments in walkable neighborhoods for the 2 of us. I don’t want to renew my lease due to poor management and constantly being blamed for dog poop in the building when my dog has been gone for weeks now.

I miss him a lot.

I just recently put our family cat down as she was getting very old (20+ years) and her quality of life was not great. This was the first time I had ever done something like this. We did take her to a different vet as her usual vet had a very high end price for cremation and everything. However, is it normal for them to do a full checkup before euthanizing? We made the appt specifically for the euthanasia so it’s not like they didn’t know. I also guess I might understand weighing the pet, but they were poking and prodding her and not very gently I might add, and then they took her temperature which I feel like made her feel super uncomfortable right before her last moments. I asked them if that was necessary and they said they wouldn’t carry out the euthanasia if we didn’t and I didn’t want my sweet baby to suffer any longer so I just let them do it. However is this normal practice?? And if so why is that necessary when they’re going to pass in about 30 mins?

We lost our girl on Sunday after 14 years. She was slowing down in the past year but always still seemed herself and never in pain or suffering. Last Thursday out of no where she refused food, treats, couldn’t go to the bathroom, was breathing weird. She begged for treats several times a day and never refused a morsel of food in her life so we knew something was wrong. We ran her to the vet and they did bloodwork which came back on Friday with level indicating disease specifically cancer. She was almost her normal self again Saturday and Sunday it was like someone flipped the switch. She couldn’t move, her breathing was extremely labored, she lost control of her bladder. We rushed her to hospital and they did a scan which showed an extremely large mass in her belly. They said there was nothing more to do. And then we let her go.

But how do we know? She hadn’t even had any testing done. One scan. She was old but could she have had palliative care? Would we have been selfish? Was it only one episode that could have been treated and then we could have treated the mass? Would she have survived surgery? Would we torture her by trying to treat her? Did we let her go too soon? Will this regret go away?

This was my first pet loss and this hurts worse than losing a human family member. I went to order take out the other night but couldn’t because the last time I had it, we ate mashed potatoes together. I don’t want to wash my clothes I had on on her last day. I’m scared that I will vacuum up the last of her fur. Thank God I work from home because I cry 90% of the day. I just want to lay in bed and stare. I’m exhausted but can’t fall asleep. She was my heart dog. My entire family is feeling this way so I just needed to share with someone else who can share some comfort with me because we are so wrought up that we can’t comfort each other. We are all sick.

I just had a 2 week old kitten die in my arms. I saw the light leave its eyes and stroked its little head as it faded. This is the first kitten I've ever seen die. I don't know how to feel. I keep sobbing on and off. To make it worse too is its the 4th one from the same litter I've had to bury in this past week. they are my landlords and I help her with them animal care when she asks. She fosters sick baby's and baby's who get taken/abandoned by the mom so I've been around a lot of death lately. I don't know how to cope. I'm sorry if this post is not put together well.I'm crying while typing this.

i lost my boy yesterday to cancer. i’m just waiting and hoping and praying to see signs from him that he is still with us or that he is okay. has anyone experienced signs after losing a cat?

My cat, James (female, despite the name), is 21 years old and has recently become very frail. She's in the later stages of kidney failure and we think her time may be coming soon. Today she has been struggling to jump up on the couch, nearly falling off, which is a new development. She is starting to lose a little weight too. I know we'll have to make that decision for her soon, and even though, logically, I know it's the right thing to do, I can't help but feel that I'll be betraying her.

An animal's ultimate instinct is to survive, no matter what. In the wild an animal will suffer pain and illness, and will even chew off their own leg if stuck in a trap to survive. I just feel like by choosing to euthanise her I'll be picking an option that she wouldn't choose herself if she was able to make that decision. How can I know that this is truly the right thing to do for her?

I held my sweet girl (14) after 13 long years together. She was ready to go; I don't feel any guilt for the decision, just sadness.

Everywhere I look is a reminder of her. Every few seconds is a thought about her; worrying about her, checking on her, waiting for our usual interactions based on our daily habits.

I know she lived a great life. I know she felt loved and safe. It's just so hard to let go.

Her name is Elley, and she was diagnosed with inoperable bladder cancer a few months ago. Throughout her whole journey with cancer, I was always taking her to specialists and vets. The vet insurance said it was a pre existing condition and couldn’t be covered, so I had spent in total around 2,000 dollars on her treatments, and I would’ve spent thousands more. We started barrages of medicines but no matter what we did, the cancer got worse. But she was such a brave girl. I was always loving on her, holding her literally every single second I could, always talking to her. I’ve had her since I was 7, I’m 20 now. I had such a hard life, facing homelessness and abuse, but my sweet baby Elley was always my sanctuary, my angel, my protector. My sweet girl Elley. When she stopped eating and the mass got too big and the doctors told me it had spread, I knew it was time. I didn’t want her to have to fight that. It was on Tuesday. I held her when it happened, wrapped in her favorite blanket. I wanted her to go with dignity and peace, in my arms, and she did. She was the most beautiful dog I’ve ever seen- a jack russel chihuahua mix. She’s my girl, I feel like I need her here but I know now she has a brand new body without cancer, that doesn’t need medicine, and she can run and eat and get the zoomies like she always did.

My love and grief is too much to carry and I feel like I can’t do this. Now, I’m bitter and angry at the world again. I hate living in a world that doesn’t have her in it, and every minute is agony.

I held my dog today in my arms as she passed away. It’s been 12 years of love and my parents brought her home for me as a gift. I’m going back to work tomorrow to take my mind off of her but I’m so sad and my heart is still broken. she was put down because of her terminal disease. The vet said we can prolong her life for 2 years but in those years she is in pain. I don’t want her to experience that and my husband and I don’t want to be selfish.

I don’t know what to do, i have 3 other cats but she is so special to me and my first pet 💔🥺

I said goodbye to Daisy dog on Monday. She was 15 years old, and she was suffering from arthritis and a mammary tumor. I know it was time for her to go. She wasn’t able to do the things she loved anymore. But I so desperately miss her. I feel like there’s a whole in my chest. I don’t think I’ve ever felt this way over a loss before. I’ve cried every single day, and not a minute of any day goes by where I don’t think about her. She was my soul pet. I miss her sleeping at the foot of my bed, her collar clinking on the floor, and her paws click clacking on the hardwood floors whenever she walked. I just don’t see how I could ever not feel this way. She was my best friend💔🌈🐾

It wasn't my dog so I hope it's ok that I post here.

I was on my way home and the person I was riding with got distracted for a second and the dog ran in front of the car. It happened so fast and I was looking the dog in the eyes right before he went under the car.

Please don't talk shit about the driver, she's a sweet lady and accidents happen. She loves animals so much.

We stopped (of course) and grabbed the dog and rushed him to a vet but he didn't make it. I was holding him and telling him it was gonna be ok the whole like 2 minute ride to the vet.

They checked him for a chip and gave me the info so I'm trying to find the owner.

Edit: the owner was found, I didn't speak to her but she was trying to find him because he accidentally got out. :( she went and got him from the vet we took him to.

i feel so lucky that I had my cat Candy for more than 9 years but I never expected to lose her now. She passed away about a month ago from lymphoma. it was very quick - she stopped eating, we got her to a vet who diagnosed her and then we had her euthanised 2 days later - all in all it was only a week between us knowing something was wrong and her being gone.

she was adopted and we were told she was about a year old, so I'd thought she was only about 10 years old this year.. so I knew she was getting older but I still thought we had time. The vet that came to euthanise her took one look at her and said she was definitely older than 10. He checked her teeth for us and said she was definitely older than 15 years. That helped me feel better about her death but it's just hard knowing that I'll never see her again and that our relationship is now over, for real. it's still so surreal even though it's been a month now.

sending love to all those who can relate on this sub <3

Had Zippy since he was a kitten. Had to make a difficult decision at the vets today - would've done anything to keep him but he had a large tumour in his abdomen and lost a lot of weight in the last couple of weeks. Had 13 and a half wonderful years with him. Never forgotten. RIP Puss :( https://youtu.be/4BOchB0udAQ?si=xMCgSeZ56cwMRhOq

Hello. I want to share the story of my doggie, Flaco, so that some strangers out there know about how amazing he was.

I got Flaco as a gift from a friend that could not longer keep him, I had a hard time learning to be responsible for him at first. Constantly getting up to let him out to the bathroom, the barking, and all the problem he caused for me, it took me months to teach him to behave.

Flaco loved the sun, food, and taking naps with me. He loved his bones and he made sure to hide them where no one else could find them, sometimes I’d come home to a surprise bone under my covers. He loved playing with other dogs and getting chased. We went on walks most days and I could see the expectation on his face when it was walk time and I hadn’t gotten up. He spent every second with me, following me around every room. He stayed up late with me when I had exams. He loved sleeping under a blanket and destroying plushies. He always tried to smell people’s mouths and really liked sitting on my lap. I’d get in trouble for letting him sleep with me on the bed or the sofa, he always waited patiently until I got up to go with me. He hated the cold and the snow, but spent every summer day outside. Flaco was sweat and loving, always present and happy to be with me. Flaco was mine, and I was his. I knew he was always waiting for me at home, that he would always be waiting for me to return.

Unfortunately, I never taught Flaco not to bark at strangers, and he would pee inside when I would neglect taking him out. I used to get so upset over this things, even though it was my fault. And sometimes I wished for the peace I had before him.

I had 3 years with Flaco, and I wished it had been more. He was hurt in a fight with another dog, and after being hospitalized for a day the vet said he wasn’t able to breath on his own and it was time to let him go.

Now I come home and no one barks at me. There is no one to wake me up from my naps because he needs to go out. There is no one waiting for me at home.

Flaco might have not liked others much, but he loved me more thank anything in this world, and eventually he became the little anchor that kept me in this earth. It’s been so tough trying to understand he is forever gone. I wish I had done more to help him, I wish I had had all the money on the world, and I wish I had protected him that day. I hope he can hear me at night when I ask him to forgive me and when I tell him how much I love him. I will never have other dog, I will never love another pet how I loved him. I wish I had been good enough for him. I wish I had been able to take good care of him and made him happy all the time. I wish I spent all the time in the world with him. I will forever miss him.

Day before yesterday, when I was in college, my mom suddenly video called me and told me my dog Lucy is having some sort of seizures, She was in front of me, my mom was panicking because she did not know how to handle this situation, She asked me I searched online what to do and called a vet but within 10 minutes, my baby was gone. Gone just like that, perfectly healthy before and I am in shock. I am trying hard to distract myself but I feel so bad I can not explain. I lost my baby, I can not believe, she won't be there when I go home next and I feel crazy because I was not there, What if she wanted me when she was having the seizure, what if she missed me. I could not even give her a last hug or say goodbye or tell her how much I loved her, how much I cared for her and I feel horrible.
Unfortunately my college is really far away from home and I have my exams scheduled for tomorrow, this whole scenario is making me feel terrible, God this is painful.

Idk exactly why I’m posting this. I think I just need to connect with people because I feel so lonely.. most of my friends don’t really care and it’s one of the worst feelings in the world. I lost my childhood dog a couple days ago, he was 17 years old and we had him for 13. Im 26 so he’s been with me for half of my life. He was diagnosed with cushings disease and heart failure a few months ago and was doing okay on medication.. was even getting better for a little bit but these last two months it’s like his health just plummeted so fast. He wasn’t able to walk anymore, had trouble breathing, would be in pain so he’d sleep it off.. my family and I didn’t want to see him suffer so we decided to put him down. We booked an appointment a week in advance, I started to grieve before he was even gone and tried to spend every last minute with him. I thought I was going to be mentally prepared to say bye to him.. the day comes and it absolutely destroyed me. I feel like a part of me died, I can’t function at all. I’m so heartbroken, angry because the ones I thought would be there for me aren’t, and I just miss him so much. The thought of dying had come across my mind many times just to be with my dog but idk what to do. I feel so lost and alone. So alone.

2022: My pet named Whitey she loves me too much! and we walk with whitey. I feed Whitey for my snack, and a wolf named Brownie wants too! I feed two pets. Brownie plays Whitey too much fun! But also... There's a dog tick in my pets. My pets are itchy! In September 24 2022. Both died... I missed Whitey and Brownie too much.. 2023: today is Whitey's birthday, i give to flowers and i can say, "goodbye Whitey and Brownie, miss you."

I don't want to break any rules, but I'm struggling and I need help. I just want to die. I had to put down my sweet baby last week, he was sick but we didn't realize how bad it was and it happened so fast.

This is worse than any grief I've ever experienced. I feel like I've lost half of myself. This cat lived with me in my car when I was abused + kicked out of my home. He was my lifeline, the reason I kept going when I was at my lowest. He kept me alive, and without him I feel no purpose or reason to live.

I have friends/ family, but I don't feel like I can express this to them. I don't want to worry them, but more importantly, no one truly understands. I'm afraid that they think he's just a cat, and that I'm dramatic. This is worse than losing family, close friends, and every death I've ever experienced. I don't know how to keep going. I truly feell like my soul has left my body and I'm lost without him, any advice is appreciated, thanks ♥️

Hi. I don't even know how to start this.

Hachi has been in my life for 14 years, unfortunately 11 of those with an active lupus infection that we failed to treat, and many other health problems. My parents are the kind of people that didn't give it as much importance because "he is just a dog" and I am sure many aspects of his health worsened because they didn't support me. Like for example keeping him inside the house when the sun was as its brightest, which aggravated his condition.

I was only 10 when we got him, but I always gave him my all. I left for college last year and it was my biggest worry that he would pass away without me being here for him. I came to visit my family a month ago and they told me his health had only been getting worse and worse. He would even bite if my parents wanted to pick him up and take him to the vet.

I finally made the decision the day we went out for our usual walk and he wasn't able to jump the little river we have next to the house. He was too tired.

Yesterday I took him for our last walk, all the way up to the mountain, he grazed and was exhausted, but looked happy. When we came home, he slept through the night. This morning I gave him an entire bag of dog treats, which he couldn't have before because of a liver conditon he had.

My grandma, the least attached person in my family, talked to him and send him off, she later told me she felt she was saying goodbye to her own son.

I held him as the vet gave him the shot. It was all so quick. So quick I regreted it. Seeing it rationally, this was the right time and place, but at that moment I wished I could have had just one more day. It was probably the ten-year-old in me begging for one more day with her puppy, asking the 23-yeard-old me why did we have to do this. Why would I ever to that do her dog.

He was a very sturdy dog, he always seemed so big, but when he drifted off to sleep, he almost shrank, so small, so defenless on that table.

Walking into a place with your dog on a leash and walking out only with the leash was more horrifying that I thought. I kept holding one end, hoping to find his weight on the other.

We buried him in our garden, next to a tree. My family said some words, but I couldn't. It hurts too much, I am entering this state where I get distracted for five minutes and then I suddenly start crying and gasping for air. I slept most of this afternoon because when I'm awake I can only think of him and how obediently he sat next to me in the taxi, and then at the vet, and then on the table. I feel like I betrayed him.

He was such a good boy and deserved so much better. I feel like tomorrow I won't be able to get up.

When does it stop hurting?