/r/death

Photograph via snooOG

Welcome to r/Death, where death and dying are open for discussion.

Absolutely no actively suicidal content allowed.

Welcome to /r/Death, where death and dying are open for conversation. Our goal is to create a community in which a healthy discussion of mortality can occur. This is not a pro-suicide or self-harm subreddit.

Guidelines

  • 1. Be respectful and follow reddiquette. This is a discussion sub; if someone has an opinion you don't like, either move along, or calmly debate
  • 2. Do not preach. This is a reddit for conversation not conversion.
  • 3. No gore. There are other subreddits for that.
  • 4. No spam.
  • 5. No memes or joke posts.
  • 6. Please no suicide threats or posts about suicide. This includes theoretical discussions about "the best way to die" or to kill oneself.
  • 7. Absolutely no requests for money. Try /r/Assistance.
  • 8. Do not post obituaries. There is a subreddit, /r/obituaries, for those type of posts.

  • 9. Please discuss other people's fears about death with compassion rather than dismissal.

See a comment or post that violates the guidelines? Please report it!

Related Subreddits

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Don't see your post? See something that needs attention? Please message the moderators!

/r/death

49,383 Subscribers

22

How Does It Feel, To Have Killed Someone?

The absolute dread as you realise what you've done? Grim thrill, no guilt at all? Or blank nothing? How does it feel? I've always wondered.

46 Comments
2024/11/02
00:05 UTC

0

Legend broadcaster dead

Alastair Down dead: Legendary Channel 4 broadcaster dies aged 68 as emotional tributes pour in

https://www.thesun.co.uk/sport/31449376/alastair-down-dead-channel-4-broadcaster?utm_source=sharebar_app&utm_medium=sharebar_app&utm_campaign=sharebar_app_article

Yet both David Attenborough and Ruth langsford mother both late 90s are still alive which is shocking what's keeping these old people alive yet jimmy carter at 100 still alive which is shocking what's keeping these old people alive

2 Comments
2024/11/01
12:19 UTC

11

Burying my Mom VS my grandmother

I buried my last grandparent today. My grandmother was 85 and she’s been longing for this for so long. She just wanted to be with her husband.

Anyway… I say this because I adore the amount of care and preparation she made to make sure none of us had to do anything or worry about anything. She paid for her funeral, service, transportation, casket, etc almost 3 decades ago. She had all of her items and documents that were important to her next to the dress she wanted to be buried in.

“I just want you all there and to grieve and then leave me behind.”

She even provided the funeral service with the music and pictures she wanted used. Detailed. Taken care of.

I say all of this because my mother had nothing most of her life and had none of her post death items together or taken care of. I was freshly 20 and in college and couldn’t afford anything so we scraped together what we could to try our best for her.

I’m not saying my mother was wrong or bad or whatever- not at all. She had NOTHING so she couldn’t.

But the experiences were soooooo incredibly different.

With nana- I came home and grieved. With mom- I worried and then buried her and worried and then grieved soooo much later.

Taking care of your end of life items is soooooo kind to your next of kin. It truly sucks that not everyone is afforded the life to be able to do that for their loved ones.

Goodbye, Nana. Miss you forever ❤️ Goodbye, Mom. I did my best and I hope you liked it❤️

0 Comments
2024/10/31
22:42 UTC

15

Death is peace. Death is silence. Death is ultimate truth.

God created world for people to suffer. Its okay. Suffering is truth. How cruel But truth. I know nothing I know nothing My throat clenches Death will be peaceful.

16 Comments
2024/10/31
17:50 UTC

1

Question

When it comes to CPR or treatments when a heart attack ended your health, what's the vernacular where professionals say the patient has to die?

2 Comments
2024/10/31
06:12 UTC

34

The most troubling thing is how it seems to suggest that this body, lying there on the slab, is what your loved one really was all along.

So I don't have any faith. Maybe I am looking for some.

It always feels significant to me that they don't go anywhere. They are still right there. They just stop behaving like the person you got to know, or thought you knew. And they never will again.

It feels like the universe just shrugs. That this entire person, whose soul touched yours, was just a biological process that you misinterpreted. And that you are one too.

As a species we have created this whole cultural context in which we live our lives, where we have names and indentities and where our experiences mean things. Death feels like the universe clarifying that it does not recognize any of this. That it knows what we are, but it doesn't understand who we are.

Ironically of course death is not the end, just as your birth was not the beginning. We have all been cycling and re-cycling through the strange biome of this planet for billions of years. And before that we were swirling gas in space. That is how the world knows us.

But now, apparently on accident, trillions of little beings - us and the other animals - are briefly blinking in and out of existence, born into lives we largely do not control, opening our eyes just long enough to stare out at the universe and ask questions nobody will ever answer.

So then of course we scream and get into violent arguments because we are primates.

I probably should go back to therapy

28 Comments
2024/10/31
02:53 UTC

2

grandma is dying and I'm confused how to feel

My (29f) grandmother is 90 and being advised to receive hospice care, as she's declining pretty quickly. She has had a few health scares in the last few years and I'm usually very quick to check in on her and visit.

I don't know why this time feels different, but I have no desire to visit her. I told myself that I want to remember her the way she was, the last time I saw her, sipping a margarita and smiling. All of the few people I've told are making me rethink not visiting her and making me feel guilty. I feel like I've been prepared for her to die for 15 years and was a mess the first few times she had a health scare/spill, but my family tells me I should visit and will regret if not.

Is it weird I don't want to see my dying grandma?

TLDR; Grandma is headed for the rainbow bridge, and I don't want to see her wasting away or do the goodbyes.

12 Comments
2024/10/30
22:38 UTC

12

I don’t want to die but I don’t want to live

The suffering in life has outweighed any good I possibly could have had. It’s like Im living on extra hard mode, I didn’t ask for this. I just found out after 5 years my mother FROZE to death in the cold when I couldn’t help her. I was told she starved to death. My heart is broken and I hate existing, I hate humanity, and I hate life because it’s more bitter than sweet, at least for me. I have nothing to look forward to. I also am cursed with a rare disease that immobilizes my life entirely. TMAU. Completely ruined my life. Now I just am waiting for my turn to die. This human experience has been so shitty, that I can’t see myself recovering from this and I don’t even want to. Im beyond a dead man walking. I wish it would have been me instead of my mother

14 Comments
2024/10/29
03:50 UTC

21

What is the closest you have been to death?

The closet I've been was when I tripped on the stairs and luckily had my knees on the stairs. If I got pushed a little further I would've have gone plummeting face first. A few times I ate food and couldn't breathe for a second or two, but I don't believe I was ever close to choking.

50 Comments
2024/10/29
01:14 UTC

11

Update from 18 months

The end has begun. I am starting to go into kidney and liver failure. Went to the ER Friday night after working the trunk or treat. Felt like I had taken a few body shots from Mike Tyson. So now I am stuck in this damn hospital with shitty wifi until the end. I decided I didn't want to die at home. Are home is a place of love and I want my family to remember the good times and not the death of a Husband and a father.

7 Comments
2024/10/28
23:47 UTC

2

How to come to terms with it?

I just can't deal with it ever since my poor doggy died it's plagued my mind.ive lost sleep over the idea that I'd never see my dog again, or any of my family members that pass away. It's bothered me alot to that I won't be able to know or zee what happens to anyone else ever again, or feel myself being...just there.... How do I stop this feeling?

4 Comments
2024/10/28
18:26 UTC

7

Any tips on how not to want to die?

Life has been pretty shit for everyone recently and although Ive been trying to just accept my life, be optimistic, and live through it for my kid everyday just seems pretty useless. Same thing everyday, and my OCD makes the repetition unbearable. Its like nothing seems easier than dying right now and as much as id like to believe my death would cause sorrow i feel the opposite.

I just don’t want to feel like this anymore and there’s always been nothing besides my kid that convinces me that I should live. Any reputable takes on how to change this sort of mindset?

21 Comments
2024/10/28
01:13 UTC

0

Near Death EXPERIENCE

I took a marijuana edible. Long story short it impacted my wife almost immediately. It took me several hours to feel the effects. When I did though I got super paranoid. It felt like I was dying. What I imagine dying to be is slowly losing consciousness several times. I freaked out so hard my wife called an ambulance for help. I think at one point I spoke to God or a higher power and said I would relay my experience if I didn’t die.

I imagined that the 3 paramedics were showing up and testing me. I imagined that I went to purgatory and needed to pass some test to continue. To my addled mind the fact that their faces were blurred only added to my conviction that they weren’t real.

Has anyone else experienced this phenomenon? Any tips on believing you are still on earth and this isn’t the afterlife?

2 Comments
2024/10/27
23:22 UTC

0

Need advice on scattering ashes

I recently came into posetion of my late fathers ashes after the original owner (?) decided they no longer wanted them. I was asked to spread them somewhere.I haven't spoken to my father in over 25 years. I have no idea who he is or what was special to him. In fact at the end of his life he had apparently isolated himself to the point he had no friends or family left. He was not a good person for a lot of reasons, however I agreed to take on this task. Idk why, I just felt sad at the idea of anyone being forgotten. So my dilemma is I need some ideas on where to spread these ashes. I live in Arizona so I thought maybe the Grand Canyon? But like I said I have no idea what was special or important to him. Other than when I was a toddler he liked fishing and panning for gold.

2 Comments
2024/10/27
22:31 UTC

0

Thoughts on Liam Payne's death

Another junkie gone

10 Comments
2024/10/27
15:31 UTC

0

People dying in unusual numbers (not counting those whom are not famous). Theory/thoughts?

TW: Theology theory....just a theory! Just want to have a civil, adult conversation on the topic. C-19.

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!So, I have been thinking. . . .and I do soooo much of that as I analyze and overthink everything, question everything...being in the mental health field, it just comes natural to me. Always has.!<

!A friend and I discussed this, and they somewhat agree with me, but...with everyone dying the way they are. Young, middle-aged, older, elderly....could this be a first step of a type of rapture (with the state the world is in, just about every war we have ever had about to break wide open for the second round)? People dying first? And I am not just talking about famous individuals, I am also talking about others whom are not. Then later all the other stuff happens when He comes back? (to leave as much Theology out, as I do not usually like to discuss Religion & Politics, as that is how I was taught.)!<

!Or is the media trying to cause a death panic by posting about deaths left and right to put these types of ideas in our heads? Are the vaccines and booster shots that were made in such a hurry (I am mostly blue, by the way, to say the least) at fault and the media is capitalizing on the deaths? There being one big cover up?!<

I do not know....and I hope this is not against any rules. I just want to talk to some people about it, and Reddit is the medium I feel is most appropriate, with the best kind of people to discuss things with.

I look forward to responses and CIVIL conversation!

12 Comments
2024/10/27
09:28 UTC

0

People dying in unusual numbers (not counting those whom are not famous). Theory/thoughts?

TW: Theology theory....just a theory! Just want to have a civil, adult conversation on the topic. C-19.

.

.

.

.

So, I have been thinking. . . .and I do soooo much of that as I analyze and overthink everything, question everything...being in the mental health field, it just comes natural to me. Always has.

A friend and I discussed this, and they somewhat agree with me, but...with everyone dying the way they are. Young, middle-aged, older, elderly....could this be a first step of a type of rapture (with the state the world is in, just about every war we have ever had about to break wide open for the second round)? People dying first? And I am not just talking about famous individuals, I am also talking about others whom are not. Then later all the other stuff happens when He comes back? (to leave as much Theology out, as I do not usually like to discuss Religion & Politics, as that is how I was taught.)

Or is the media trying to cause a death panic by posting about deaths left and right to put these types of ideas in our heads? Are the vaccines and booster shots that were made in such a hurry (I am mostly blue, by the way, to say the least) at fault and the media is capitalizing on the deaths? There being one big cover up?

I do not know....and I hope this is not against any rules. I just want to talk to some people about it, and Reddit is the medium I feel is most appropriate, with the best kind of people to discuss things with.

I look forward to responses and CIVIL conversation!

9 Comments
2024/10/27
09:27 UTC

2

Advice on loss

My significant other just found out his x died. He left her for me. I don’t know what to say or how to comfort him? Why do I do? What do I say?

4 Comments
2024/10/27
04:26 UTC

5

Dyou believe in heaven?

Is heaven real? Is the r e proof of god? Anything even the smallest proof of him that can't be explained by science

41 Comments
2024/10/26
19:16 UTC

17

Anybody know how to not fear death?

I fear death because I worry I’ll suffer in hell forever. Not necessarily because of things that have happened or things I’ve done, but more so because of how I feel about those events. (Thanks to everyone who shared wisdom)

22 Comments
2024/10/26
17:12 UTC

1

If you knew the day that you were going to die, what would you do in the time leading up to that date?

If you were given a death date as well as a birth date when born, what would you do with the time that you are given?

7 Comments
2024/10/26
07:18 UTC

3

I feel like I'm going to die young because I can't enjoy life

I don't have a good life, despite my parents being well economically. But I didn't have the best life for now

4 Comments
2024/10/26
04:47 UTC

8

Relieved at the thought of death

I just have a quick question that I couldn't get answered on google. Does anyone know why I might feel relieved, and at peace with the thought of dying 5-10 years from now? Obviously I have no thoughts of ending myself, I enjoy living, I'm just a bit confused.

EDIT: Thank you for giving me some well needed insight, u/SeoulGalmegi u/LandofGreyAndPink. I'll start reading Phaedo in an hour or so.

2 Comments
2024/10/26
01:39 UTC

3

21 gun salute

So in the YS, when a person who served in the armed forces dies, they send other members of the armed forces (veterans I think, I’m not sure how the logistics of it works) come to the funeral and do what’s called a 21 gun salute. 7 members do 3 shots each, hence the name. They do it a lot in movies and stuff and it is haunting to me.

My grandfather was a veteran and passed 3 years and 2 months ago. I had only seen the 21 gun salute in movies and shows up to that point. It was haunting. I stood crying with my grandma and other family members I flinched at every gun shot. Now I have flashbacks to that moment every time I see it in a movie or show.

0 Comments
2024/10/25
17:06 UTC

5

my dad died.

literally, his heart stopped.

6 Comments
2024/10/25
14:24 UTC

1

After life

I know this would’ve been asked before, but I want some fresh answers. What do you THINK happens after you die realistically, religious opinion or not, what do you think happens to you?

And if you believe it is eternal nothingness, are you scared, or contempt with the fact death is imminent sooner or later.

13 Comments
2024/10/25
14:14 UTC

2

My best friend’s mom is about to enter Hospice

The title says it all. I’m heartbroken for my best friend and for her mother and her whole family. My question, for anyone with experience, is how can I best support my friend and her family through this??? For anyone who has had a parent enter hospice, what did support look like for you and what did you need most during that time???

I recognize there’s no guidebook to this and that I largely need to just let my friend lead the way with the type of support she needs, but I also want to show up without needing her to always go through the mental/emotional labor of telling me what she needs… I’m not sure how to best show up in this situation but I know that my goal is just to continuously take weight off her in whatever ways I’m able to. I appreciate any experience/advice that anyone can share here. ❣️

3 Comments
2024/10/25
14:14 UTC

28

Death is Beautiful

My opinion:

Death is the end of all suffering. The end of existing in a broken civilization.

Death is the end of the troubled mind.

Death is the end of playing the bad hand dealt if you were dealt.

Death could be a new beginning of a new life in a new universe.

Death is calm after you die.

Death is silent.

Death is still.

Dying sucks. Being dead is better.

.... I still live wishing I could die sometimes. Just imagine being unconscious for months or years. Your brain is still functioning, so when you regain consciousness, you only remember what happened before you went out.

I guess it's easier for some people to find beauty in death when life experiences depress them.

For some people, life is beautiful and others death is. It's all temporary and time keeps leaving many behind unfulfilled, unsuccessful. This is also why death is beautiful. Death is the end of pain.

10 Comments
2024/10/25
10:16 UTC

0

I want an urgent death

I did everything I can do. I lived in pain, and my upcoming life will contain pain. I can't withstand. Can anyone help?

4 Comments
2024/10/25
09:58 UTC

2

Where can I escape, when theres is nowhere to

There are times where I have this feeling in my chest, when reality falls down on me. Moments of my life where I know I need to go away, when I feel that I dont belong in this place, in this moment, and that I have to go now there... And the situation is, that I dont know where is "there"

I have a good life, good health, good options, overall, I have a life ahead of me, and I am aware. I often think that I want to disappear, but I have very clear this it is not a situation where I wish to un alive myself, or where I even want to entertain such idea, because I honestly love life, and everything it has given to me.

But then, what is that feeling I dont seek a higher purpose, nor do I think that my life is being wasted. But then again, what is that feeling, where I feel the need to disappear, to escale, but I dont have an idea about where.

If anyone can say anything, I would like to hear it

2 Comments
2024/10/25
02:02 UTC

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