I think I'm going to die soon. I always had a feeling one of my parents would die young, and that I would lose a child. right as well. I've always thought I'm dying young. I been having a feeling for the past couple months. And no. Won't be at my hand...I have this feeling tho. I don't tell anyone. They will think I want to do it.. I have a history with suicidal ideation.

Nothing else makes me feel this way. I'll be laying down, resting comfortably when something will trigger this overwhelming terror in me. It's hard to describe, but it's like my eyes open and I feel myself freeze up. I end up curled in a ball on my bedroom floor. I know that folks say that it's best to live your life not worrying about the unavoidable, and I agree with that, but sometimes it just hits me like a train and I can't handle it. I don't know if writing this out is helping or not. I'm just going to naturally slip back into my life, do what I do, and forget the inevitable. That is until this happens again and I'm back on the floor. I hate this so much. I wish I was immortal. I don't care if I'd get bored of life. I'd rather be bored than be nothing at all. I wish religion made some actual sense so I could actually believe in it.

My best friend died last week on monday november 25. She jumped off a building (dont know what kind of injuries she had) and died a couple hours later at the hospital. Today was the last greeting before the funeral where everybody got to say goodbye to her body.

What i saw kinda traumatised me.. i almost didnt recognize her (and i was not the only one).

She looked like a wax, stiff doll. It seemed like her skin was fake. You could see that they had to re do a little piece of her nose. When she was alive her hair was always straight and flat, now it was fluffy.

The thing that bothers me the me the most is the fact that she looked VERY uncomfortable, forced and restless.. also her mouth was still opened a little bit so she was looking sad. Ive seen a couple of dead bodys already and you could always say they looked peacefully asleep, but that wasnt the case with her.

Why could this be ? What did possibly happen during the embalming? Why did she look so unreal?

I still cant believe she is physically gone, not even after seeing her laying there. The whole time i stood there and when i touched her my brain was convincing me she was breathing. How do i get over this?

I’m genuinely terrified of what my boyfriend just told me. My boyfriend messaged me and told me someone just got shot right outside his house, that it was a teenage girl. Then he proceeded to call me, and I heard the mother to that teenage girl scream «Oh my God» repeatedly whilst crying extremely loud when talking to the cops. Myself I was already traumatized by hearing that poor mother going through that grief, yet my boyfriend still expects me to come out there with no concerns. Matter of fact, it concerned me even more how calm he was during the entire situation. It’s like he didn’t put my feelings into consideration, I have never seen or heard anything like this and I am already terrified. He’s upset that I don’t want to come out there because I do not want to put myself at risk. Yet he proceeds to compare our different countries saying how mine is more dangerous than his, aka America. I live in Europe, Scandinavia, where guns are HIGHLY restricted and NOT legal in any parts. He completely ignored the fact I was petrified, and he kept calm throughout the entire thing. I do not understand why he would still want me to come out there and put me at risk because apparently it was «gang» related. Am I overreacting?

Hi! I'm Andrea, a student at the Polytechnic University of Turin, and I'm conducting a survey for my thesis project. I would appreciate your insights on an important yet sensitive topic: the perception of death and the commemoration of the deceased.

The anonymous survey takes only 5 minutes, and your input would be incredibly valuable!

Here's the link to participate: https://forms.gle/SYvr6mNk5GA8CB8K9

Thank you so much for your time!

Did you know the death rattle lasts on average up to 25 hours? My Mother has been in the hospital since last Tuesday. On Thursday, the doctors told me that her liver is shot, her kidneys are failing, and that they can no longer give her meds because her body can't filter them. She is dying. This evening I went to the hospital on the way home from work. She was unresponsive, but not much had changed. I went home to have dinner. When I returned with my partner she was gurgling as she breathed. I had never heard this before. I asked the nurse and she said it was a normal part of the dying process.

I knew she was not going to recover, but this made it all the more real. She is in death rattle. I cannot sleep.

My mum took a turn for the worse a few months ago. She's 90. She fell. There was surgery. When she came back from the anaesthetic, she started getting deleriums, where she'd ask the same question or repeat the same thing over and over. She sits and stares. She was up until the summer lively, energetic, witty, so smart, just a joy to be around. Now she's hollow.
But about 6 weeks ago she started talking about starting to see 'the dark lady.' "She's coming for me," she said with equanimity. Every once in awhile, "I saw the dark lady again."
Well yesterday when I took her out for a walk, she said, mysteriously, "She's very close now."
"Who?" I asked.
"The dark lady. She's only ever about 25 feet away lately, and she seems to be getting a bit closer every day."
I freaked out last night. She blithely mentions the dark lady who's coming for her, and seems to think her death is imminent. I suppose she won't be with us for much longer.
This might read like creepypasta, but it isn't. It's real. It's frightening. I wonder if anyone else has had this experience and can help me process it. Thank you in advance.

CW: De*th, Car ac**dent

I lost my lifelong best friend this year. We became friends when we were 3. She died at the age of 23 in August of this year. I just turned 24, and had my first birthday without her.

I was diagnosed with PTSD recently (I feel weird about the diagnosis) after she was killed in a car accident. I knew it was gonna mess me up to view her body, but I didn’t know it would be like this. She was injured, and visibly so.

I keep having nightmares. I’ve had nightmare after nightmare and almost every single night I relive her funeral in my dreams. I see her body, and it just gets worse and worse.

Every day it just stays on my mind and it won’t stop. I think about it. I think about what she looked like, I think about how I found out, the feelings all come back, I dissociate, and I just feel like I’m on autopilot.

Then I get nauseated and I get to stressed I can’t do anything but lay down in my bed. I dropped out of college and everything. I’m only working 2 hours a day. Nothing excites me anymore, I’m not happy, I can’t stop thinking about her. I wish there was something I could have done.

I was talking to her like 3 hours before she died.

Pieces of her car are still in the creek.

I fucking hate this.

Hello, I’m 24M years old going through severe mental illness and disassociation and confusion since June and my condition got worse month by month. To put it this way, I would wake up twitching, shivering, panicking, losing the voice inside my head, having unreal sensations known to mankind in my fkin brain. I would go completely mental and insane I would spend days crying and freaking out, I would try to distract myself but it would be impossible due to the severe sensation inside my skull, all my senses were blocked I would lose my sense of self and navigation and pace back and forth, looking mindlessly outside my window, be scared of myself. Had absolutely no thoughts for many weeks. My brain was doing terrible things and my mind is severely affected. It was pure hell, and I’m scared of living with a brain I can’t trust and causes torture. I got with a psychiatrist, he prescribed me 10mg lexapro, it has made some of my senses come back. I’ve been living in pain and agony for many months and just feel foggy and confused. Got well enough to purchase a 44 magnum, however I live with my 3 brothers and my mom and have been in a relationship of 6yrs with my GF, this isn’t no way to live and idk what to do with such a complex psych issue, my brain still feels so odd. I just wanna end it, I can’t function at all. I would look at my own mother of angel and family and gf and not be able to process anything. I would just stare at the TV, unable to process audio and visuals…had a lot of testing done, blood work, brain scans, SPECT scan and still nothing. Nobody fucking knows. I’ve gone completely insane, I don’t feel real and can’t trust my own brain for shit, I CANNOT EVEN WORK/DRIVE, my brain feels cemented, I would have the most brutal panic attacks felt like my heart would explode, i’m 100% sure anyone would’ve ended their life with no hesitation with my condition, welp anyways Got a fkin 44 magnum now. I’m basically mentally handicapped now, and I used to be in the service.

Has anyone ever/know anyone who has experienced dying and coming back to life? When my grandad was on an operating table, he died and was brought back to life, but he said when he was dead he was in a waiting room, and his dad (who had already passed) came in and told him that it ‘wasnt his time yet’ and thats all he can remember. Has anyone else got any stories like this?

Have you guys ever thought about dying all alone in a deathbed? How would it feel to be all alone. I've heard it somewhere that "the most fearless are those who are never scared of being alone" how to overcome that feeling of always needing someone?

I've had a few people in my life die: all of my grandparents, other relatives, a close friend a long time ago.

I used to be very frightened of dying and death. I also used to think it was this big, mysterious thing that was the source of all of life's mysteries.

Nowadays, I see death as a pretty commonplace and mundane thing. Everyone dies, and the actual dying process is pretty routine a lot of the time for people who are old.

Death can be shocking when it happens to someone young or if its in a violent way, but even then old age gets everyone anyway.

I've basically accepted that everyone I am close to will eventually die. Especially my parents generation is getting closer to being older.

But even celebrities and young people, every day you are one breath closer to death. It seems pointless to worry about it, when there's literally no way to avoid it completely. You can delay it by being healthy, but it's coming for you.

Since I was a child it's impossible for me to imagine that you would just stop existing one day. Thinking that you can think of your own death sounds impossible. It's like imagining something without you (the one who imagines). It feels like that, by definition you can prove that death doesn't exist. What would it be like to be not here? Imagine one day you'll just stop existing. I know I formulate these sentences in a weird way, and I do it on purpose so you guys understand how I feel about it.

I do think I can explain this by : We aren't living the reality but we feel the reality through our body "sensors". So you ARE by yourself your own reality (at least what you think it is), and so dying in the sense of your body stop working would be just you, being exposed to the true reality / world. And I think I implicitly realized that even if I'm not religious or anything.

I just think you can do an ontological proof that you still exist as some kind of "being" in post-death.

Sorry for my bad phrasing, but the people who feel it might explain it better than me, I'm pretty sure I'm not alone.

I’ve been having some weird feelings lately. Like my time is near. Been having weird dreams too and seeing weird things. I don’t do drugs or drink. Something in my gut just told me to drop whatever I’m doing and just spend time with my son.

Has anyone here ever spoken to anyone before they died? What were they thinking? Feeling?

My grandpa died recently and he smelled sweet and sickly for weeks before it. Just the type of smell that makes u want to vomit. Once he died the smell of acetone took over for a few hours. Now my grandma got sick and started to have the same strange smell. Does anyone know if the sickly smell is just when someone is very ill or is it the smell of death?

Thinking this is the route for me. Any one have more details or family history to share?

What is this called?

No. I’m not suicidal. It’s just whenever I am near our balcony, I live in the 7th floor, I see my body jumping and then a thought occurs about the consequences. It was once a month but now it seems excessive keeps playing in my head.

I think my brain is playing mind games.

I often wish I were dead. I’ll be often going about my day and in every day situations like: driving, walking the dog, etc. I just vividly picture myself dying someway. Always quick and painless. I usually shake it off as an intrusive thought but it always happens. I wish I were just dead but at the same time I’m so deathly afraid of the other side. Pun somewhat intended.

I’m nearly 30 and I often have mild panic attacks about what happens when I die. Sometimes I plead for a breakthrough on life extension, sometimes I wish I just got T boned by a drunk driver so I don’t have to wait in fear. I don’t know what this life is about, it feels meaningless in the grand scheme of things yet I find myself appreciating beautiful moments deeply. I’m a mess.

I’m in my mid-20s, and over the past three months, I’ve seen a few of my friends lose their parents. Watching them grieve, fall into depression, or even turn to unhealthy habits like drugs to cope has been really overwhelming for me.

This has made me think a lot about my own parents, who are also getting older. For the past six days, whenever I spend time with them or laugh with them, I can’t help but think about how they’ll pass away one day too.

These thoughts have been haunting me daily, and I’ve started imagining their death repeatedly, almost like I’m trying to mentally prepare myself so that when it happens, I won’t be as devastated or will be able to handle it more calmly.

Is this kind of thinking normal? Has anyone else faced something like this? How do you deal with these thoughts without letting them take over your present moments?

This shocked me because unlike her. She was on a lot of morphine and Ativan. She was not supposed to get up because she fell and I tried to get her to stay in bed but she got strong and didn’t want to. Then she laid back down and said this is stupid let’s have a party (also unlike her). I feel guilty and horrible I was so worried abt her falling I didn’t take the time to address whatever she was going through. Any thoughts to share? The funeral is today and I want this out of my head.

so just eventually there's nothing but you can't experience being dead, so does that mean we won't know that it happened or remember that it happened and just suddenly be nothing

I'm scared to die. I'm scared of the pain. I've had panic attacks about since I was a kid. Nothing besides time is my cause, same as most. Yet everyday I know it's there in waiting, I see the videos of others losing theirs, and I'm scared for my time. I want to scream at everyone because how do most people seem so chill about this unknown possible painful conclusion to our end that's coming for us all? How are people so at peace that everyone everything they love will eventually die too? I struggle to truly enjoy anything because all I think of how scared I am to lose them or me

He died of a heart attack at the age of 60, he won’t be released from the coroner until sometime next week. My worry is that my brother doesn’t understand what he will potentially look like, even I’m not sure but I know more of the things like blood pooling and eyes looking sunken. I’d like to know what to expect and I’m hoping I can prepare my brother a bit. TIA

i want a viewing/ funeral. but

i dont want traditional casket/coffin, i want biodegradable if possible. i dont want to be cremated. i read that you cant be embalmed if you want biodegradable, and if youre not embalmed it will be hard to find someone that will allow viewings, right? what can i do?

I'm just curious about peoples thoughts

1. People have a lot more dreams then they can remember, pick a random day 2 years ago, not of significance. You don't remember all of that day, or maybe you don't even remember any of it. Were you dead on that day because you can't remember it? No.

2. Dreamless sleep is a lot more subjective, and it may be just like death. In my opinion it doesn't make sense for the experience of an active brain to be the same as a deactivated one, or a brain split apart. But, we can never know, so I'll leave the subjective rational to the comments.

Hello! Not sure whether this is the right place. Correct me if not. Because of a situation of which I will spare you the details, my 5-person family is holding a tiny memorial to commemorate my father and spread his ashes a few years after his death. Has anyone else done something so small and/belated? Was it meaningful and any advice? AND has anyone spread ashes in the ocean? Do you need a boat or will a surf board do? TIA.

You have a strange feeling - you feel darkness falling upon you. But it's not the usual night darkness that brings nightmares - it's a very calm and peaceful darkness, pure emptiness and nothingness.

The pain goes away. You feel relieved of the suffering. But you don't feel happy for that - you feel hollow.

Your breath feels heavy, But you don't feel like you're struggling. In fact - you notice you aren't breathing anymore.

In the last moments of consciousness you realise what just happened

You are dead.